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Upcoming Mary Worth concerts: Elliott Smith, Three Six Mafia

Mary Worth, 7/27/08

Fans of Mary Worth and/or fans of music made after 1968, prepare to have your mind blown! After speculating that Mary wanted Jeff to take her to see indie folk-pop duo the Weepies, today faithful reader Wanders in his Mary Worth and Me blog points out that she and Jeff are actually seeing Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. This unlikely Irish-Czech duo were the stars of last year’s indie darling film Once, and won an Oscar for (I’m pretty sure) the song that Mary and Jeff are listening to in the final panel of today’s installment. Of course, as Glenn and Marketa actually look like this, based on the pic I’m guessing that they’re actually seeing a Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova tribute band.

Zits, 7/27/08

The appropriate answer to Jeremy’s request — “Sure, just wait 45 minutes until we’re done fucking” — will ensure that he won’t ever ask them to pick up his bandmates again, or indeed ask them for anything else, as he’ll no doubt run gibbering into the night, never to return.

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 7/27/08

As usual, Sunday’s Apartment 3-G merely repeats installments from the previous week, but the final panel seems to have been drawn as some kind of challenge. It’s basically saying, “Oh, you thought Lu Ann was a little too excited about going to South Dakota yesterday? Well, check this insanity out.” In yesterday’s installment it just looked like she had mistaken South Dakota for someplace exciting; today she appears to be in the grip of hilariously misplaced delusions of grandeur. “Did you hear me? I said South Dakota! SOUTH DAKOTA! MU HA HA HA!”

209 responses to “Upcoming Mary Worth concerts: Elliott Smith, Three Six Mafia”

  1. Orange Doorhinge
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m convinced the ‘duo’ are Drew & Vera. See, once he escaped the influence of Mary, Dr. Drew telephoned Vera from Viet Nam and told her how he felt…what with one thing an another they decided to start a ew life together.

    Next week: Enraged by the failure of her meddling, Mary goes on a meddling rampage!

  2. lorne
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    The only reason to be excited about going to South Dakota is because it means you’re not going to North Dakota.

  3. Doug Puthoff
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    2 Lorne–Hey, don’t disrespect North Dakota. It has Raccoon National Cemetary in Bismarck.

  4. Doug Puthoff
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    I remember Three 6 Mafia’s tribute to Aldo Kerlast: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Stalker.”

  5. BigTed
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Hansard and Irglova now perform under the name The Swell Season. I’ve seen them perform this song on TV half a dozen times (sing something new, you guys!), and she’s always playing piano while he plays guitar. But I guess that would be too hard to draw.

    By the way, although they’ve been a couple since making the movie together, he’s known her since he was about 29 and she was about 12. Wonder what Mary would think of that?

  6. Nekrotzar
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    Man, Lu Ann is so lucky. The only work-related-so-I-don’t-have-to-pay-for-it travel I get to go on is to boring places like India.

  7. Poteet
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I hadn’t seen that final bizarre panel until just now. My original prairie-geek optimism about this storyline is turning into deep suspicion.

  8. Tlachtga
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    I have to admit, when I read the post headline mentioning Elliott Smith, I wondered if Mary Worth was suddenly bringing musicians back from the dead. Which really would make this a more interesting comic–Mary Worth, raising musicians from the dead to tell them on what they did wrong that caused their deaths. Not necessarily a better comic, though.

  9. The Ghost of Jarrod
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    2 Lorne–Hey, don’t disrespect North Dakota. It has Raccoon National Cemetary in Bismarck.

    And it also has…

    Um….

    Uh….

    Yeah, Raccoon National Cemetery is lovely….

  10. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    #8 Tlachtga,
    Next week: Jim Morrison has the hangover of his afterlife!

  11. Monkey Paws
    July 27th, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    After Lu Ann makes it big in the Black Hills she can start thinking about moving to the big city. It’s always been her dream to see the bright lights of Manhattan.

    If you can make it in South Dakota you can make it anywhere.

  12. wooga
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Sure, Lu Ann’s excitement about going to South Dakota is a little weird. What freaks me out though is that she is actually flapping her arms in an effort to fly herself there.

  13. Muffaroo Wuffaroo
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Baby Blues – I threw Sarah for the last time at the Y on Friday, because the lifeguard asked me not to do it any more. Maybe when we’re at a different pool. She’s six, and I have a bad back, so I don’t know what Watermelon Nose is moaning about.

    Peanuts – Even at the tiny size the Washington Post shows this, I could read every word, and it was funny too.

    PBS – I won’t succumb.

    RMMD – Good punch line from the kid there.

    SFx – The solution, as always, is a number of little halftone gray bars of varying length.

    TMcN – Okay, I get it now, but the first time through, I thought they were officiating a game of Battleship. (I know, I need to get out more.)

    Tom D Bug – It’s as easy as i, e, pi!

    Wiz – Back to the basics, I see..

  14. Scruffylove
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    I don’t know–Mary Worth wanting to see lullabyes performed live seems about right.

  15. Sorako-chan
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Apparently the Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova tribute band consists of Vera and Drew, as Vera is the only female in Mary Worth to wear her hair in such a controversial style as the ponytail- and Drew is the only one besides her brother who would date her. Actually, looking at him again, it could just be that Vera has just picked up some random, blue-headed mulletman to sing with. Dammit- why do all the people in these strips look the same?

  16. Vakar
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    It looks like she’s about to break into song:
    Sooooooooouuuuth Dakota, where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain…

  17. Sorako-chan
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Woah, Back off, Lu Ann! Personal boundries! Give your hug and freakish collagen-stuffed kiss to someone else! You’d better not be trying that on Margo, she’ll whoop yo ass.

  18. NTG
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    FOOB: HA HA. JOKES. I get it. You’re angry at your husband because of things you imagined he did. Hilarity.

  19. Draktyr
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    I love how, in the first two panels of MW, it seems Mary is thanking herself for getting the tickets to the performance.

  20. Anonymous
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Ye cats! If that’s what Glenn and Marketa look like through the crap-colored lenses of Mary Worth art, then it appears that we’ve mistaken lo these many years. Compensating for the Giellafication, Mary’s been some sort of smoking hot sex cougar all along! Dr. Jeff, not so much.

  21. bats :[
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Monday, Monday!

    MT: “Ciao, Kelly. Maybe you can get some close-ups of those field mice and contract
    1. rabies;
    2. plague (the pneumonic form is the best — trust me!); or
    3. Hantavirus.
    And then maybe you can find some bunnies and get tularemia…

    FC: sorry…
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2709412028/

    MW: damn, I envy Mary! She goes to venues! And has lunch at restaurant with waiters in black gloves and creepily-fitting jeans!

    FOOB: well, I’d call it a fucking boring/captive audience description, but what the hell do I know?

  22. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    #8 (Tlachtga): I dunno — A3G raised a painter from the dead, and that was just hellraisingly stupid. (Good for us, though)

    Speaking of A3G, the above panel is, of course, horribly mistaken dialogue-to-image. Given her unbridled glee as seen there, her speech balloon should actually have one of these written in there instead:

    1) “I just gave myself the best orgasm ever known!”

    2) “Hey, guys, guess what? I just CAPTURED OSAMA bin-LADEN!”

    3) “Lynn Johnston’s wedding strips all just burned in a fire!”

    4) “The ghost of Albert Pinkham Ryder just gave me the best orgasm ever known!”

    5) “They’re making an ‘Arrested Development’ movie!”

    6) “OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!OBAMA! OBAMA!…” (I wrote that to satirize Obamamania, not to praise it! (sorry, Bard))

    7) “I just found a collection of ‘Funky Winkerbean’ from the ’70s and ’80s! And it USED TO BE REALLY GOOD!!”

    8) “The ‘Judge Parker’ artist is going to draw us from now on!!”

    9) “I just realized that our buddy Jack Davis is really the well-loved cartoonist and illustrator!” (Watch Margo give her the bad news tomorrow)

    10) “There’s this animal… it’s like a rat, but with KANGAROO LEGS! And it’s REAL!!”

  23. Kirsten
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Ye cats! If that’s what Glenn and Marketa look like through the crap-colored lenses of Mary Worth art, then it appears that we’ve mistaken lo these many years. Compensating for the Giellafication, Mary’s been some sort of smoking hot sex cougar all along! Dr. Jeff, not so much.

    (sorry about the double post)

  24. Bookworm
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    A3G – So the whole “ghost-gas-hallucination-induced-painting” thing was just a setup for the REAL story – city girl visits the country. I will now start taking bets on whether it involves city girl getting her comeuppance at the hands of the country hicks, city girl gets the better of country hicks, or city girl goes “native.” Since it’s LuAnn, I’m pretty sure it will involve “hilarity” in the form of her “ditziness.” I will not be taking bets on whether or not the country hicks will be talking with accents no one outside of Hollywood has ever heard before.

  25. Maggi
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    A3G: Poor Lu Ann. She probably thinks:

    South = tropical = good tanning, coconuts, ice cream!
    Dakota = ethnic sounding = exotic, food with rice in it!!

  26. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Monday preview:

    FOOB: Well, if all he can come up with is awful puns like that, it’s just as well he can’t really talk. Meanwhile, I hope April’s singing can drown out Mikey’s speech!

    Another thing that should’ve been in LuAnn 3G’s above-pictured speech balloon, but for Monday: “Funky Winkerbean was actually FUNNY — TODAY!!”

  27. South Dakota Travel Bureau
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    Back off.

  28. Master Mahan
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    Who wouldn’t be excited about going to South Dakota? In the Apartment 3-G universe, that’s where they rounded up the minorities and put them in camps.

  29. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: A moment was missing from the Sat.-Sunday strips:

    Margo: “South Dakota? Really?”

    LuAnn: “Yes, of course. Maybe you’ve heard of the town — Mtigwaki, South Dakota?”

  30. Dingo
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mary Worth scares me. Panel one is blue/yellow and then panel two is full color. Panels three and four are blue/yellow and then panel five is full color. It’s almost as thought Moy and Giella are setting up a bad Saturday Night Live skit* for us where the main character – Mary – turns to the camera and says what she’s really thinking with a booming altered vibrato.

    Mary, you’re meddling caused the death of Aldo Kelrast.

    It’s the least that I could do. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! **

    Mary, you could eat dinner at the Bum Boat with almost any aging cuckold and not need to put out in return for a shrimp cocktail.

    Hey, I chose YOU, didn’t I?

    Oh, and I play guitar. Please trust me when I say that playing a guitar while holding it in that position WITHOUT A STRAP would be damned difficult no matter who you are or how proficient.

    Also, in panel three there is an empty seat to Mary’s left and then a smartly dressed woman. I believe this is Mrs. Walsh, my 2nd grade teacher. Mrs. Walsh went out for coffee one day and never returned. Some people thought she was a victim of the enema bandit but others thought she went to California to become an exotic dancer or spokesmodel. Finally, I see that she became a character actress in the comics. Kudos to you, Mrs. Walsh!

    * – Yes, I admit that all SNL skits after 1978 were bad.
    ** – Three exclamation marks in honor of South Dakota, the Coyote State.

  31. Master Mahan
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    So Lu Ann is going to visit South Dakota, home to unsophisticated white people in outdated clothing? This sounds like the start of a classic fish-in-slightly-different-water story.

  32. Master Mahan
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Lu Ann is going to be majorly disappointed when she finds out Mount Rushmore doesn’t talk.

  33. Dingo
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    Master Mahan, you must think of the children. Won’t someone think of the children?

    I’m afraid once LuAnn gets to South Dakota, there’ll be some crazy horse mountin’.

  34. Eric L
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Someone needs to find a way to forward this strip to Glen and Marketa. Hundreds of pop culture figures have won Oscars, but how many have been featured in Mary Worth? It’s pretty much just them and Captain Kangaroo.

  35. Mac
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    Be fair to LuAnn, guys. Judging from how her lips have swelled up to quadruple size, she’s probably suffering from a severe allergic reaction and about to go into anaphylactic shock.

    Plus she’s profoundly stupid.

  36. Red Greenback
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Don’t let these Mudges tease you, Lu Ann. I’m rooting for you…dirty rooting, that is.

  37. Dingo
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    So… I haven’t seen this posted yet but when Pope Josh was on that show he mentioned 17-19,000 people on this site. I see, maybe, 75 of us chatting. Are there that many lurkers here? Josh, how did you come up with that figure?

  38. Maxim Gorky
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Obviously, the slave laborers in Korea didn’t color the hair right. If they made the man’s hair blond, it would look like the actual duo.

  39. bats :[
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Well, I guess my lesson for the day is “Never Doubt Poteet.”
    And now for a very special episode:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2709575292/sizes/o/

  40. bats :[
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    37. Dingo: just hazarding a guess (and because mr. bats :[ just ran the associated statistics program that’s attached to two websites I have), Josh can look at the daily tally of visits to the site.
    I’m not too surprised at those numbers. My one site gets far more traffic every day than I ever imagined, and it’s WAY less fun than this one. What does surprise me is the apparent number of folks who are content just to read and never post.

  41. Dingo
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    Maybe they’ve all been banished to the Cockpit.

  42. david t
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    #37 dingo – it just means there are only 75 Masters of Snark, the rest of us are just trying to come up with a good line that hasn’t been repeated ten times yet. (& now back into lurking.)

  43. Dan Johnson
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    SING TARZANA NIGHTS!

  44. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    7/28 — The ones the Chron would let us see, anyway:

    A3G: Aha! So, she came from there. I’m guessing it’s a land full of cousin Rubys. It helps to think of the whole population of hometown SD calling Margo “Maggie”.

    BBailey: “…Most of it obscene. On second thought, forget me writing about it. I’ll tell Sarge, instead. -love, Beetle.”

    MT: Punch her, Cherry! Punch her!

    MW: Okay, music cures what ails you. But what if what ails you is “Mary Worth”? What song helps that?

    Phantom (Couldn’t think of a good “Ghost-Who…”):
    “Hey, boss… did we order an attack on us?”
    “Nope — it’s not… anywhere… on the invoice.”
    “Not even when our forces are…..divided somehow?”
    “Hey, if it ain’t typed out on paper, we didn’t order it.”
    “I didn’t think so. Never hurts to ask, though.”
    “Right. (pause) Did you say… ‘forces’?”
    “Yeah… must be some sort of morale-building exercise from upper-management or something. Hey, Pete, gimme a hand here, willya?…”

    Popeye: I think I’ve seen this “Twilight Zone” episode.

    RMMD: Well, isn’t that special?[/Church Lady]

  45. Carly
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Luann looks like she’s going to burst into song, actually. “I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay!” Only in this case I guess it would be “To Dakota, South Dakota! South Dakota to promote my art!!!”

    Only Maria would never have worn that outfit.

    And Mary Worth somehow has yet to realize that the only people who don’t think old people having sex is gross are the old people who are having it.

  46. Red Greenback
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    MW: Those kids got Three 6 Mafia covered, too.

  47. ElliottSmithFan
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Elliott Smith had Elliott spelled with two T’s actually; ya know.

    Thanks Josh.

  48. Red Greenback
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    43: Ease up, friend!

  49. Joshua
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    I’m amazed to find that the song being sung in Mary Worth is the recent Oscar-winning song “Falling Slowly.”

    What this reminds me of, vaguely, is an Archie Comics story. I probably read it in the 1980s and it was probably a reprint from 25 years before that or longer. In the story, Archie has a short-lived career as a singer. When he first goes in to an audition, he sings the following line: “Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear –” and then gets cut off by the record producer.

    Not until some time later did I learn that the song Archie started to audition with was an actual famous song and not just something made up by the comic book writer.

  50. Corkey
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    You’ll notice, at this packed concert hall, there’s an empty seat next to Mary and Jeff. That’s because, however talented the kids from Once are (or their Worthverse dopplegangers) it’s not worth having to be witness to the soul crushing sight that is Mary and Jeff flirting. The Stones, Pink Floyd,Springsteen, and a fully resurrected Beatles could be playing together, and I’d walk out for that.

  51. christian
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    Hey! Glenn’s band, The Frames, are awesome! And you can trust me – i’m 23 and have the taste of somebody twice my age!
    oh god… there’s a Once DVD here at work and i’m now scared of it… everytime i hear Glenn or The Frames i will be reminded of Mary Worth and running screaming into the night

  52. doug rogers
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    The huge gaps between the theatre seats are foreshadowing. The insipid sweetness of the dialog between Mary and Dr Jeff leaves me with a terrible foreboding. I’m certain that Dr Jeff is doomed at this point to either a lingering incurable death (look at his eyes!) or a more sudden accident in traffic as a big red truck runs him down as he gentlemanly walks on the traffic side of the sidewalk, ripped violently from Mary’s hand, blood stains on the street. She’ll no doubt find some sweet platitude to carry on.

  53. Foolster41
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    (I havn’t read the comments recently)

    Maybe it’s a little weird, but yesterday’s slylock fox made me laugh, and I thought it was actually pretty cute, if you Ignore the other unintended interpitation of the word “fix”.

    The girl is so sure the boy is going to hurt himself in the process of fixing the wagon that she stands ready like a paramedic at a stock car race to do her duty as the older sibling to repair poor, aptly named “boo boo”.

    A3G: Maybe Luann just really really likes Mt. Rushmore?

  54. car
    July 28th, 2008 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    FOOB:Wait, Elly hadn’t even told Iris and Grandpa the date of the wedding? Are they not invited? They do not live that far away, no? After the shock of Lizardbreath flouncing over in his dead wife’s dress, they didn’t even tell them when the wedding was happening? Sheesh. Has Lynn transferred identities around so that Elly now represents her own ungrateful kids?

  55. John C Fremont
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    # 30 Dingo – Thanks for the Illinois Enema Bandit reference. Very little of Zappa in New York goes through my head on a regular basis (for which I should be ashamed) but that one makes pretty much a daily appearance, especially Don Pardo’s intro. Memories…

    MW – Why is Mary trying to high-five Toby? And Mary, enough with the Herb and Jamaal dialogue! It was amusing for awhile, but now it’s just aggravating. Stop it!

  56. InkAllergy
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    MW: At first I thought those white blots were from Mary suffering menapausal hot flashes, and then I realized they are supposed to be stage lights. I never once thought before how menapause would be represented in a Sunday comic strip until this day. What a sad, sad day.

  57. Little Guy
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    South Dakota: Home of Deadwood, Sturgis, and Mount Rushmore. LuAnn’s gonna hop on a chopper and drink like Calamity Jane.

    FOOB: END GAME! END GAME! END GAME! One final week of wedding strips starting the 23rd of August! THE END IS IN SIGHT!

  58. Kenny
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    It’s ONCE: The Musical

  59. anthom
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    So, Mary’s temple (or possibly her ear) bought the tickets?

  60. A Lemur
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    The Ghost of Jarrod, Lorne,

    North Dakota also has a really BIG buffalo statue outside of Jamestown that used to terrify me as a kid. To this day I can’t look at a buffalo without gibbering.

    Giant Buffalo

    The giant animals in Mark Trail have the same effect incidently.

    Then there’s moose. On a camping trip I looked out the tent one morning to see a moose’s knees. The less said about this unpleasent episode the better. Hangin’s too good for ‘em, I say…

  61. Josh
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    #47 ESF — Eeps! Fixed.

    Josh

  62. anthom
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Perhaps Jeff misheard Mary when she said she “loved those singers from ‘Once’,” instead hearing it as “I love that band that sings ‘One.’”

  63. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Oh noes! RBMA (the syndicate that serves about half the comics on the Chron’s site) is fuxxOr3d! Well, here’s a tall light skinny half-caf snark to get you going in the morning:

    A3G: Haven’t you heard, LuAnn? You can’t go home again. Unless “home” is Mr. Roger’s Land of Make-Believe, in which case you’re dressed perfectly for the trip.

    C’Shaft: Traveling? Usually she justs vents her elderhostility on her son.

    Crock: That’s not your face, that’s your burqa. Maybe you should iron it.

    DtM: “Found your pipe! Dad says he was usin’ it for art official semi-nation.”

    EC: I just filled up yesterday at $3.88. Gas has come down 20 cents in the last two weeks in my area. Way to ride that wave of topicality!

    FC: “How will I ever get married, Mommy? Billy says I got no titties and my legs are too stumpy to spread!”

    MT: “When I said ‘we,’ Kelly, I wasn’t necessarily including you. When you start getting hungry, walk that way and eventually you’ll hit South Dakota.”

    MW: Oh, don’t even try, Toby. You’ll never measure up to the Platitudiner Supreme, Mary Worth. And you’re much too old to pull off fashion from the Dawn Weston Two Things On A Purple T-Shirt Collection.

    SFx: Sure! He’s going to go mack on Carla Cat, who is trying to stick with a straight job after her criminal career was interrupted by Slylock. While Rodney and Carla retire to the stockroom for a quick, filthy, and sweaty grunt-fest, the accomplice makes off with the gloves. Carla will get fired, lose her apartment, move in with Rodney, start doing meth again, and fall back into her old ways. Don’t do it, Carla! Rat sex is never worth it!

    Zits: I sense a theme week… a dull and unfunny theme week.

  64. Sequitur
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: Are you kidding? Lu Ann is so happy because she’ll get to visit:

    http://www.bearcountryusa.com/

    Where she’ll be eaten by a grizzly. End of story.

  65. Inspector Dim
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Hey, everyone, Rex found the MRSA!

    NOW HE WILL KILL IT

  66. Cranky
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    45 seconds, Josh.

    Oh! Zing! Thanks, tip your week, try the waitress, I’ll be here all steak.

  67. ConcreteQueen
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    It’s really hard to tell which is worse — Lu Ann’s grasp of geography, or her grasp of reality.

  68. Not Track 5, not chainsaw juggling
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    A3G: Say what? I thought LuAnn’s family was in Texas? Just how extensive is her brain damage, anyway?

  69. Pozzo
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    What are the odds that the CD of romantic music that Walt is putting on is of the same singers that Mary and Dr. Jeff are seeing? It’s what all the middle-aged couples are listening to this year when it’s time to get their perv on.

  70. man behind the curtain
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Josh, your account of your appearance on jeopardy can now be found on http://www.fark.com perhaps expanding the fan base of the comics curmudgeon.

    A3G — LuAnn is excited about going home to her parents. The same parents who think her artwork totally sucks.

    MW — I would imagine that the last time Mary had seen this singing duo was an appearance on Lawrence Welk. So this is an “excited” Mary. I’m sure Jeff couldn’t wait to get her home. Unfortunately, we were not privvy to whatever happened after the big night out. So Toeby, enough about the concert, start prying about the post-concert activity. I think Mary’s getting a lot more action than Toeby and maybe Toeby will try to get her to steer some her way.

  71. essteess
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Something seems rather odd about the way in which the singers are depicted. It looks as if the girl is half-supporting the weight of the guitar on her hip — probably because, as Dingo mentioned, the guy doesn’t have a strap. Also, he doesn’t appear to be so much strumming as hitting the strings with his open palm; in fact, his arm seems to be dangling uselessly. Perhaps he isn’t actually playing but is _miming_ to a guitar soundtrack?
    By the way, I hope Mary hasn’t actually gone to see “Once.” I think that if she did, within the first 15-20 minutes she would feel impelled to meddle (”That young man should shave all that stubble off and not slouch so much when he walks!”), and find some way to M O R P H into the film so she could impose her will — in a firm but gentle, Christian manner, of course.

    FOOB: Re Michael’s upcoming blatherfest, er, speech at the Wedding of the Century, there’s no way Lynn could devote more than one strip to it. Is there? Please, please, tell me so.
    And why do I have this horrible feeling that April’s going to do a David Gates song?

  72. essteess
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth, again: Jeff says, “That was Providence.”
    No, Jeff. It’s just Chinatown.

  73. McManx
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    MWorth — What’s up with Jeff & Mary’s slipping in and out of yellow? Could it mean that they’ve picked up hepatitis at the Bum Boat?

    3G– Perhaps tomorrow, Lu Ann will drop more subtle tourist suggestions in the dialog as she prepares for her trip: “Wow, I have to get ready for my flight! I’ll have to RUSH MORE! If I’m not there on time, they’ll SIOUX me!” Yes, it’s Apartment 3-G, brought to you by the Convention and Visitors Bureau of South Dakota.

    Zits– I don’t feel sorry for Mom and Dad because Jeremy broke in on them; I feel sorry for them because it’s been so long since they’ve had sex that they’ve forgotten to disrobe. Jeremy’s unwittingly saved them from a frustrating night of unsatisfying groping and humping.

    Phantom– While I’m glad the plotline has finally turned towards some probable action, I admit I was looking forward to Stripey trying to tie up his giant friend in a moving boat.

  74. Brian Q
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Check out the webcomic PVP this week! Looks like their troll Skull is paying a multipart visit to something very closely resembling the Keane Kompound.

  75. airish
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Perhaps the reason Lu Ann is so excited about her trip is that she’s confusing South Dakota and South Carolina and thinks she’s going to Myrtle Beach, where she can apply for a job at Hooters.

  76. AMC
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    RM – “It’s just like you tell me when Mommy’s asleep from all her pills: ’special things happen to special people’.”

    I think my creep-o-meter just asploded.

    What’s up with the half a working Chron?

  77. A Lemur
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    DT: A plotline so inane it makes you long for the Joycian heights of the ‘Dab Stract’ saga…

    …Compounded by the conundrum of how exactly DO you train dogs to NOT attack someone blowing a whistle?

    Next week: Mr. B attempts to rob a bank using rabid mooses. ‘Foil my dogs with meat will they, well let’s see them get ready for THIS.’

  78. David B
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Is anybody else weirded out by the careworn, worried look on Mary’s face when she says “Hey, I chose you, didn’t I?”

    I’m thinking she’s being nice to him because she’s set up a hit to get this creep out of her life tonight once and for all, and the strain of having to be nice to him for an entire day is finally catching up with her.

  79. AMC
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    30 & 71 – There can be only one strap on in Mary Worth – and she’s wearing it.

  80. Krazy Kat
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    3-G: Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer promises Lisa that “when you’re ready for college I promise we’ll send you to the finest school—IN SOUTH CAROLINA!!”

  81. gh
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    An Open Letter to Bob Weber Jr.

    I have avoided the subject, hoping it was a one off – and I was on vacation at the time so did not see it until days later – but when I did finally see this, from Saturday before last, I was nonplussed. Did anyone comment? I don’t know. As I said, I was away. All I can say is that clearly we have three dead fish. In effect, three clothed fish skeletons. Well. Disturbing, odd, but as a one-off, perhaps you were just toying with us. Then yesterday there was THIS! Another clothed fish skeleton! Bob Weber Jr, I ask you: is this your version of peeking at the nape of a geisha’s neck? Are we to wait patiently for the fish to decompose before the skeletons are revealed? Gone are the days of the three fish skeleton weekend that sustained me through the dark hours between the time the factory whistle blew on Friday afternoon and I clocked in on Monday. I have resigned myself to that fact. And if Picasso can have his Blue Period, I suppose we can abide Bob Weber Jr’s Dead Fish Period. Assuming it is an experiment in texture, a phase, and not your new artistic mission. I’m not sure I can work up any enthusiasm for a three dead fish weekend like the one you tossed out on that Saturday. I thought we had a deal. I find four differences and draw in the other two, and you bring the fish skeletons. I may have to think about finding only three differences, drawing two and ignoring the last one if this continues.

    A Worried Fan

  82. Chris Opperman
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Hey, SOUTH DAKOTA ROCKS! I’m not kidding! I just did a cross-country road trip and after seeing Mt. Rushmore, we had a four-alarm RIOT in South Dakota. Rapid City rules!

    Plus, that Mary Worth strip made me want to puke on my shoes.

    Chris

  83. Chris Opperman
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    P.S. You know Elliot Smith is dead, right?

  84. DAS
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    What’s with the B&W comics on the Chron page?

    Anyway …

    MT: open your eyes Kelley Welley. The trip away from “Lost Forest” (to where? “Found Forest”?) will net you something. How often does anyone have a chance to take pictures of a kangaroo rat in a Canadian forest?

    RMMD: somebody’s gotta be able to do something with this … the kid’s comments, the look in June’s eyes …

    FC: the second panel in which the mother reassures Dolly “but Dolly your brothers’ friends aren’t the only boys around, your brothers are boys too” somehow is mysteriously missing. or are the Keene’s more the purity ball” crowd? in which case I guess Dolly’s body belongs to her daddy until he can find her a suitable daddy-replacement to serve as her hubby …

  85. Anonymous
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    #73: Thank goodness for that. Do we really need to see Walt in his Moby Grape T-Shirt and business socks again?

  86. Pozzo
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    #49: I remember reading an Archie story in a 70s collection, though it was obvious that it was reprinted from the 50s. The gang was going (the guys in tuxes!) to a rock concert. It was an “Elton” concert, but it was painfully obvious that the “ton” was lettered in later, no doubt over a “vis”. Just so they’d stay current, y’know?

    Well, it’s better than Herb & Jamaal. They’d be going to see “that new singer who’s all the rage.”

  87. essteess
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    #73: McManx writes “What’s up with Jeff & Mary’s slipping in and out of yellow? Could it mean that they’ve picked up hepatitis at the Bum Boat?”

    It’s because they’re listening to this “hep” music that all the “young crowd” think is “groovy.” The “experience” is so “mind-blowing” it’s like a “psychedelic” “trip” which is completely “altering” “reality.” Why, it’s practically like “smoking” a marijuana cigarette!

  88. dimestore lipstick
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    The Ghost of Jarrod
    And it also has…

    Um….

    Uh….

    The geographical center of North America?

    Well, approximately, kind of, anyway…

    And lots of dak rats! Mustn’t forget them.

  89. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Smirky Cancerbean: ………..and I’m gonna shove it up your ass sideways!

    FOOB: The “Destiny of Lizthony Death” has been set…….we can see the light at the end of teh tunnel. But it’s a train.

    PBS: Calling Rat. Calling Rat. We now have a date set for the FOOB wedding. Please get the suitcase nuke ready!

  90. Firegoat
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    JP — I did not know it was a requirement to dress like a flash-dance refugee to take your husband to the airport.

  91. D.A. Pennington
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Today’s FOOB: All that Grandpa Chinnuts can say is “yes”.

    Ellie: Dad, I brought you fresh herbs from my garden.

    Dad: Yes.

    Ellie: Mind if I forge your name on your pension check and cash it in? I had my eye on this Canadian version of a Louie Vitton bag called Toque Pierre.

    Dad: Yes.

    Ellie: Hey, these medals you were awarded from your service in WWII. Mind if I take them to the pawn shop? I have some parking tickets I need to pay off, and I need the quick cash.

    Dad: Yes.

  92. Echo
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I’d love to visit the prairies in South Dakota, and I’ve been a Manhattanite. No, I’m not being ironic, it sounds awesome. I feel sorry for anyone who would not look forward to such a trip, actually. Now, if Luann were flapping with excitement about going someplace lame like Las Vegas, I would feel only pity for her dumbness.

    I think Karen Moy has set herself a challenge to make Mary Worth more insufferable with each passing day. Mary had Jeff pay for tickets to a concert she wants to go to, then proceeded to be smug all over it. I fully expect Jeff to castrate himself with a weed wacker next because Mary suggested it, and it’s the least he could do.

  93. Perky Bird
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    How many plugs for his latest piece of crap novel do you think Mike is going to fit into his “wonderful speech”?

  94. commodorejohn
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Okay, Chron, what the fuck. Seriously, why is every single black-and-white strip grayed out? Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to rely on other sites today.

    A3G – Wait, I thought Luann’s parents were crazy Bible-thumpers or something? Or was that her sister?

    Blondie – Blondie actually got a laugh out of me today.

    Curtis – “Rapper Puffs?” Seriously?

    DT – I’ve found that Dick Tracy makes more sense if you stop trying to rationalize it as anything other than a series of unrelated lines on a piece of paper.

    FC – Wow. Jeff Keane has apparently canonized the Keane Kompound. I look forward to future strips cribbing elements from various Family Circus mockery.

    FOOB – Yes, Lynn, very nice infodump. It’s so refreshing to see someone daring to eschew that tired old “show, don’t tell” cliche.

    MF – Mallard Fillmore: bringing you a small snippet of last week’s news this week, all week.

    MW – Eee, Mary talks about music in exactly the same way as an Evangelical who just went to see the Gaithers.

    Momma – EW GOD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

    Popeye – So we’re going out on a bizarre retelling of “Where No Man Has Gone Before?”

    RMMD – Whoa, Rex Morgan just took a sudden left turn into Creepyville. Sarah knew that he found it, because she can tell he’s “special,” and there’s some kind of diffuse blob of light hovering near June’s head – is she “special” too? *hums Twilight Zone theme*

  95. Hogenmogen
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    FC: I was all ready to lay down some massive snark on FC because in my black & white paper, the kids in the background looked like three Billys and two Jeffys. Dolly could be saying that she’d marry one of the Billys, but God has pronounced human clones to be grotesque abominations and perversions of His natural order.

  96. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    As a former South Dakota native, I used to diss North Dakota all the time (we’re very, very bored, you see). Now, though, I realize that North Dakota has one vast advantage: it borders Canada.

  97. DAS
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    PBS: Calling Rat. Calling Rat. We now have a date set for the FOOB wedding. Please get the suitcase nuke ready! – Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy

    Wouldn’t a suitcase nuke be more Duck or Cat’s department?

  98. Niall
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    1. Orange Doorhinge: “Starting a ew life together” so perfectly describes Dawn and Vera, I can’t be sure it was a typo. :)

    Monday stuff:

    I guess I won’t be the only one with the Chron’s B&W comics not working..

    A3G: [MaryWorth} But, LuAnn, you know you can't go home again! [/MaryWorth]

    JP: New day, new day, calloo callay! So, how long was the previous day? Seemed to pass in a flash – like, a couple of months only!

    MC: I can’t snark on that, considering what I’m doing, like, right now…

    RMMD: Wilson is writing for us, isn’t he?

    Sly: If Sly wasn’t distracted by his girlfriend at the beach yesterday, this clerk won’t be worth a lick. …I should probably rephrase that. And is Rod the younger brother of Ricky?

  99. Ces
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Sorry for the self-PR but after months (years?) of promises, the Medium Large site is online, starting today with new daily strips and featuring many fan favorites, complete archives of both Teenage Girl President and Victorian-Era Superhero and the never-before-seen “Season One” strip episodes of Todd & Son: The Series.

    Thank you, guys, for all your support over the years. I hope you enjoy the new site and comics.

    Ces

    PS: And don’t forget to check out my run this week as guest cartoonist for Dan Piraro’s “Bizarro”! Thanks again!

  100. queek
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    First, the bad news. The Freep caved in to the forces of darkness, and reinstated FOOB. They did admit that being charged full price for retreaded strips was part of the cancellation reason.

    Now, to the good stuff!

    A&J and Frazz both mentioning obscure Canadian holidays? Not the pair of strips that I would have expected a X-over from.

    F- and FW both producing belly laughs in the same day? Someone check for flying pigs and other signs of the Apocolypse.

    Family Tree: still hideous, but a mention of a same-sex couple moving in next door? Could prove interesting. Still hate the strip, though.

    JP: the innuendo continues.

    MC: at first I thought that Norm was reading Jeff’s lines, but then realized that the shark wouldn’t be using so many words of two or more syllables.

    yesteryesterthread, I went back and looked at the Sunday GF, and now I see what all the fuss was about. o_0

    OK, who broke half the Chron? Magmacannon near miss? Or merely a warning shot past the bow?

  101. Little Guy
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    97: PBS – It’s a job for Terrist Kitty – {meow}

  102. T. Chicana
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Foob: Okay, so now Assthony’s uncle just happens to be a tuxedo shop owner? GAWD, does everyone on earth have to chip in for this wedding? Like everyone is feeling just so blessed and grateful to even know the holy Patterfoobs that the LEAST they can do is offer their services for free. And I bet Michael’s horrendous speech is going to be his “gift.” Train-Perv John is a dentist, isn’t he? They couldn’t pony up for ANY of the expenses?

  103. Ces
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Oh, a URL for my Medium Large Comic Site would be nice:

    http://www.medium-large.com/

  104. queek
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    99: d’oh! That was the comment that I forgot!

    Day One of Ceszarro: win!

    I don’t usually follow the strip, but figured I’d check it out this week, and today’s was good. :-)

  105. Little Guy
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    100: Freep: Bad news all around. LJ’s Vampyre Zombie Strip will suck for other strips. Newspapers won’t be able to pay for new strips because they’ve allocated real estate and budget for FOOB.

  106. Hogenmogen
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Leroy plans for his future by using only Plugger Approved Technology.

  107. Paul1963
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    I was busy all day yesterday (if you find yourself if DC with time on your hands, go visit the International Spy Museum–it’s fascinating) and haven’t read the Sunday comics yet.
    That said, I have read my Monday webcomics. All good ‘mudges should point their browsers at http://www.pvponline.com/ immediately. Take note–Kurtz says this is Part One, so we may get a week’s worth of these.

  108. Chennuxfangrl
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I would so love to see Rat (from PBS) crash the foob nuptials.

  109. gh
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    A3G

    I’m looking forward to Lu Ann on the ranch. Sitting on her Shetland pony, official Dale Evans cowgirl hat with the string fixed tightly under her chin, a shiny new South Dakota commemorative quarter in her hand, she searches for the slot to put it in to make the pony go, while the lonesome wind whistles through the vast empty landscape between her ears.

  110. Hogenmogen
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Ces – I checked the link – thanks for sharing!

    Too bad we can’t get that stuff in the papers. No, one of the cruelties of the world is that we get Dolly bitching about the lack of marriage material. Dolly, do you have some biological clock ticking or parents bitching about having you settle down? YOU’RE SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD!

    We have Blondie making self-mockery about Dag’s hair, done several times before, and it still isn’t funny.

    We have Ellie offering exposition about the upcoming wedding in lieu of real plot development or comedy.

    We have Sarah Morgan talking like she has Down’s syndrome, which for all anyone knows could be true.

    And we have Luann of A3G going to South Dakota, which is her home. Except in a state that is 200,000 sqare miles, the site that she visits could be hundreds of miles from her parents, but what the hell, to a New Yorker, anything past the Mississippi is all one zip code until you get to LA.

  111. Jesse Cline
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Why are Mary and her beau glowing yellow? Was there a leak on his nuclear powered mini-cruise boat?

  112. Niall
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Oh, for everybody who were talking of kangaroo rats in comics: I only know of one in webcomics, but he’s unspeakably cute – and it’s something he knows and tries to combat, to no real effect. (It’s the start of a background-building storyline for him, meeting his family and.. sisters.) The amusing parallel to Mark Trail is that the action takes place in “Lost Lake”. :)

    As for the duo on stage in MW, what obsesses me is how interlocked their bodies and the guitar are. Her left arm is behind him, but the guitar disappears behind her, his hand is draped to strum the strings directly from above, and the neck is only large enough to accomodate his hand. Only tiny, tiny tinny high-pitched notes can be plucked. …they’re playing a ukulele!

    Y17 Poteet: Are you saying SD’s virgin prairies are about to get plowed? You do have a dirty mind! (or is it just me?..)

    23. Kirsten: you should have remained anonymous for putting “Mary worth” and “smoking hot sex cougar” next to each other. :)

    39. bats :[ : oh THANK YOU! Panel 4 was pretty much exactly my reaction. :)

    63. SSB: damn you for making my tired brain even try to picture Carla and Rodney! And that’s not Carla. Can’t be Carla…

  113. mere cog in the machine
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    45 minutes??? Sure, I could do that. Give me an IV drip, an oxygen mask, and plenty of Gatorade and I’m your man.

  114. Tuesy
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    So now that Iris is gone we can let Grandpa Jim in on all the Foob wedding plans? Is it because she is not really a Patterfoob and therefore can’t possibly be privy to the amazing details of the amazing wedding?

  115. Bloody Bitch
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Why does Dr. Cory find it necessary to wear a grey cable knit sweater under his button down shirt? Maybe it’s made of steel wool and reminds Jeff of the feeling of Mary’s legs gently caressing his neck. Mary doesn’t have leg hair, she uses barbed wire.

  116. mere cog in the machine
    July 28th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    I used to consider myself fairly erudite, but this site is playing with my brain: When reading about Emma Thompson’s performance as Theresa Marchmain in ‘Brideshead Revisited’, I actually got a horrible, completely involuntary mental image of Elly Patterson. God help me.

  117. Goat
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    9. North Dakota is also famous for Minot (Why-not-Minot?) Air Force Base, home of sleepy missile launch officers watching over 150 Minuteman III ICBMs and a fleet of B-52s armed with cruise missiles, ready to obliterate any target on a moment’s notice… or as soon as they have their first cup of coffee. Heck, they might even be able to tell you if the cruise missiles are nuclear… oh, sorry, that’s not Minot’s job, that’s what they do when the bomber lands at Little Rock AFB. If I were LuAnn, I think I’d prefer South Dakota, a B-52 Flyover State.

  118. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I really, really, really like the panel in Sunday’s Mary Worth.

    She tells Jeff, and perhaps herself, that she “chose” him, when in reality, Ron “chose” politics over her and she had to fall back to her safety position with 2nd Choice Corey.

    Keep rationalizing Mary. HAH!

  119. Hogenmogen
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    118 – Eats – re: MW: “I chose you”

    You make a good point. I think it was Jeff that came on to Mary initially oh so many years ago. But that’s just for starters. “I chose you” – as what, Mary? From the “About Mary Worth” link Jeff hopes (in vain, perhaps) to become Mary’s “significant other.”

    “I chose you… to pay for me to go out on a boat, have dinner and attend various expensive concerts.”

    Mary, you are a pompous gold digging whore.

  120. Phoebe
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    #19 –
    “Oh Mary, thank you so much for these tickets!”
    “It’s no problem, Mary. I’d do anything for someone as attractive as you.”
    “Why, thank you Mary, you’re so charismatic! Might I compliment you on your fine taste? That pink neckerchief is so becoming.”
    “Mary, you say the sweetest things. Screw the Doc, you’re the one for me!”

  121. Emma
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    That’s not how you hold a guitar but then I’m pretty sure that’s a ukelele. So, no piano and a ukelele. I wonder how much the tickets cost.

  122. spike
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    #118 Eats Shoots and Leaves: I thought that Jeff was blaming god (providence) for all his Mary troubles–or maybe he was just bad in a previous life.

  123. mere cog in the machine
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    MW: At first glance I thought they had come to see Donnie Osmond. Then when I saw it was a couple I thought, “Cool! It’s Bobby and Sissy from The Lawrence Welk Show”!” But then I realized Bobby never played ukelele. Sigh. I miss Bobby and Sissy. And Tom Netherton. Tom Netherton was DREAMY.

  124. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    # 39 bats — BWAHAHA! Good episode! And I’m honored by your trust, though I fear it is justified only in cases of the Poteet Rule, which states that the more Poteet wishes a comic storyline would end early, the longer it drags on. This helps to account for the ghastly Liz/Anthony romance.

    In the case of the stinky wrestling mat story, I thank you for calling my attention to the intriguing mysterious qualities of Count Morgu. I wish he would stick around into the next…um, no! No, I don’t wish any such thing! Go away, Count!

  125. Hogenmogen
    July 28th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Luann is off to the wilderness, Ruby is opening a beauty salon somewhere, Eric is someplace exotic trying to break into a prison, Tommie is only good for one story line per presidential administration, and she used up her chance in a half-baked non-event series in early 2007. That leaves the unrelenting madwoman Margo MaGee and Alan the stoned acolyte. Sounds interesting, and by “interesting”, I mean “better than usual opportunity to squander on some random, worthless thought balloons and head bobbles”.

  126. Perky Bird
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Anthony’s uncle is indeed providing the men’s formal wear, but he doesn’t own a tuxedo rental store. He actually runs a funeral home.

  127. Edgy DC
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    We’re missing part of LuAnn’s freakout. It’s something like…

    “I’m going to South Dakota!”

    (”Hold it. Let me coordinate my sweater set.”)

    “I’m going to SOUTH DAKOTA!!!!”

  128. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    # 92 Echo — It’s nice to see a comment from a kindred spirit — thank you! Unfortunately, it now seems more likely that this South Dakota expedition will turn into some really low-budget boring version of DALLAS. I wonder if Lu Ann’s parents will turn out to be Jock and Ellie, J.R. and Sue Ellen, or a couple of horses’ patooties.

  129. Baka Gaijin
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    #128 Poteet: I think they’ve already proven themselves horses’ patooties or toaster tooties or whatever “ooties” floats your boat. When their drifty daughter in the big city was getting sexually harrassed by a creepy ghost then getting gassed by said ghost, they send a hyperhappy caricature instead of visiting her themselves. Patooties indeed!

  130. Calico
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Didn’t ES put a knife into his belly? Dear God.

    Next, Mary and Jeff will buy tix to The White Stripes.

  131. Anonymous
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    #119 Hogenmogen: Sweet Potatoes! What does “recently-widowed” mean in Mary Worth time? Did his wife die during the first Bush administration?

  132. PeteMoss
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    FBOW – Aw, BOXCAR, I can’t tell you how conflicted I am about today’s strip. I’m happy to hear that this whole Foobonuptuals storyline may end on 8/23, but I’m more disturbed that they have chosen my wedding anniversary for this crap. Rolly Church of Crete, that is disturbing!

  133. Colinski
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    I’m intrigued by Dr. Cory’s bold fashion statement of wearing a sweater under his dress shirt.

  134. blackgoat
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    MW: I understand that Mary is wearing the scarf ( the same one she wore on the mini cruise and at the Bum Boat) to cover her turkey neck, but why in the world is the casually attired Dr. Jeff wearing a dirty gray t-shirt under dress shirt and jacket ?

    FOOB: Elly: “I’ve been wanting some time alone with you.” For what, to inject air in his veins ?
    Elly:” I haven’t been keeping you up to date, but now I can tell you what’s going on in our lives.” What up ? Is Iris an abusive spouse, keeping Jim’s family from visiting or talking to him ? Elly and her children are so self-absorbed, and insensitive that they can’t bother to visit Grandpa more than once a year. Too bad he wasn’t on oxygen. Elly could light up a cigarette and do Grandpa and us a big favor.

  135. bats :[
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I think Lu Ann’s excited reaction is much simpler than suffering for her “art,” or having an opportunity to help the Prairie Conservancy, or traveling to beautiful, downtown Pierre:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2711270180/sizes/o/in/photostream/

  136. gh
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    #132 PeteMoss –

    Look on the bright side. You’ll have a good reason to spend your anniversary on a far-flung tropical isle away from newspapers and the Internet. Bring the wife.

  137. Pak-Man
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Someone needs to tell Lu Ann that the “I just flew in, and boy are my arms tired” is actually a joke. That’s really not how they fly you in…

  138. Bryan
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth always seemed like more of a Prussian Blue fan to me.

  139. PeteMoss
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Slylock – Rodney really doesn’t look like a “gloves man” to me. How about the blender on the back shelf, Rod? I bet you can make some killer Cheese Margaritas or Peanut Butter Coladas with that thing.

  140. man behind the curtain
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Note to Eric. You are in Communist China. Getting into prison shouldn’t be too hard. Tim is in the prison infirmary. Look for his internal organs to be on e-bay any day now.

  141. PeteMoss
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    MW – Gail Martin covers that Once tune, only her lead player uses a Strat and a wah-wah pedal and she kicks the tempo up to about a “Born To Run” speed. Gail basically screams the last verse. It’s completely unintelligible but kicks-a$$. Right at the last “hopeful voice,” she stage dives into the first few rows and promises a french-kiss to the first guy who brings her a Jack and Coke. At least I think that’s what happened.

  142. Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G:I thought LuAnn’s family was from Texas? Whatever. I just loved that panel Bats did of LuAnn on drugs. Interesting how she acts more like she’s on drugs than those nitwits Alan and Haley who actually are on drugs. Although, come to think of it, Alan and Haley are probably getting their kicks from placebos.

    Mary Glurgeth: Well, Mary has succeeding in out glurging the FOOBs. All I can say as others have is: Please…Make….It….Stop!!!

    FOOB: With even more feeling: Plleeeaaassseee Maaaaaakkkkkkeeeee Iiiiitttttt Sttttoooopppppp!

  143. Belle
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Swell. The Caine-Patterfoob wedding falls on my birthday. It’s great how the Pattersons’ saintly children contribute to the wedding using their immaculate talents while Granthony’s family needs to bring in all of the monetary goods.

    MW: Black is the choice shade of lipstick for today’s fashionable senior woman-on-the-go. Looks like Mary’s taking tips from that young lady.

  144. Don, the Rebel without a Blog
    July 28th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn’s speech balloon: “Josh was on JEOPARDY!!!”

  145. mere cog in the machine
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MW: What sort of dancing would Mary be interested in, I wonder? At first glance she looks like a nice, sedate Foxtrot kind of gal, but given the uncertainties of her actual age, time of origin, and cultural experiences, well, who knows? I could see her doing the Charleston, for instance. But the Freddy? Hmmm. Maybe she just likes to get out there and “bust a move” like a chocolate urban princess? Would there, COULD there be a “wardrobe malfunction”? The mind reels…

  146. dimestore lipstick
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Goat;
    My husband was a 462 in the 5th Fighter Interceptor Squadron at Minot AFB in the early 80’s. Ever vigilant in case of an invasion by those evil commies Reagan wouldn’t shut up about.

    The way he tells it, they smoked doob, painted dak rats fluorescent orange,tried to get the mascots to eat the mystery meat, and mostly–tried to stay warm.
    ‘Cause the answer to “Why not Minot?” is “Freezin’s The Reason!”

  147. UncleJeff
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I envision the last panel being repeated twice more.
    Extra panel 1: SOUTH DAKOTA!
    Extra panel 2: SOUTH DA-FUCKING-KOTA!!!!

    FOOB: Elly (Lynn), you’re really creeping me out.

  148. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Come to think of it, how poverty-stricken is Lu Ann that she hasn’t hitherto been able to scrape up the price of a plane ticket to go visit her parents, if she’s so eager to see them? Airfare to and from small cities in this region is often expensive, but it’s not THAT expensive.

    Incidently, the Des Moines International Airport, so named because it handles cargo planes from other countries, runs TV ads begging Iowans to fly out of Des Moines, rather than drive to bigger airports in surrounding states. I have a feeling most other airports in state capitols don’t feel compelled to do that.

  149. blueberrygrrrl
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe the punchline in A3G wasn’t that truly ancient joke about the contest in which second prize is a trip to Cleveland (other destinations are featured in the various versions of the joke; South Dakota would be perfectly legit). First prize is, you don’t have to go.

  150. AhClem
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Alternative caption for LuAnn’s outburst: “I quit! I’m joining the Jungle Patrol!”

  151. Astroboy
    July 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    FOOBs – That’s right, Grampa Chinnuts, your grandaughter Liz has abandoned all her dreams and ambitions to marry the pasty-faced wimpy guy down at the used car lot. She’s decided to settle for a boring, predictable life free from the dreaded independence and adventure (not to mention exciting boyfriends) that she had in her life in Mitigwaki.

    Oh yeah, and the guy she’s marrying? Well, see, he was already married to someone else and had a kid before your darling home-wrecking grandaughter decided that she just HAD to have him.

    Let’s see you make a lame-ass pun out of THAT.

  152. lesles
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    A3G – i’m looking at that last panel, and while lu ann’s word-balloning on about south dakota, all i’m hearing is “jonestown”.

  153. saxman
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    I’m skipping ahead about three weeks.

    Yup, there’s Luann out in the badlands with her canvas and paintbrush. In front of her is a slab of bacon. She’s trying to attract some Indian mallow and sand verbina for her next series.

    (Or maybe she is dropping some pots and pans so she can paint some western yarrow in full flight.)

    (Information about native South Dakota plants is available on the Internet: http://plants.usda.gov/java/stateSearch?searchTxt=&searchType=Sciname&stateSelect=US46&searchOrder=1&imageField.x=55&imageField.y=12)

  154. Uncle Lumpy
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    #148 Poteet –

    . . . how poverty-stricken is Lu Ann that she hasn’t hitherto been able to scrape up the price of a plane ticket to go visit her parents. . . .

    Per Cousin Ruby, Luann’s relationship with her parents is fraught. With what, I dunno. I suspect they’ve never invited Luann back, and she wouldn’t think to take the initiative — hence the glee.

  155. Perky Bird
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    # 153 saxman:
    The image of plants slinking towards a slab of bacon, their little stamens “sniffing” the air, amuses me greatly!

    I think Mark Trail should do a Sunday strip on the bacon-loving flora of the Dakotas. (Argh, if only I had Photoshop skills!)

  156. DAS
    July 28th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    I have a feeling most other airports in state capitols don’t feel compelled to do that.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this happens here in Tallahassee.

    Actually, a lot of us drive out of state to a smaller airport (e.g. Valdosta) to take advantage of free parking and less headaches with TSA.

    Either way flying into this part of North FL/South GA is loads of fun as there are only about two flights a day from whatever stop-over point your itinerary has for you. If you miss the evening flight (very likely given airport delays), you have to spend the night at your stop-over.

  157. Violet
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one starting to really envy Mary’s lifestyle? Here we all are, toiling away at jobs like chumps, while she spends her Monday relaxing over a delicious plate of mustard at a restaurant so fancy each table gets its own fez, while Toby helpfully explains to her what medicine is.

  158. Gabacho
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro – Good stuff. Much better than the usual puns, although the usual puns in Bizarro are usually good.

    Sally Forth – oh.

    Mary Worth – Wow! That’s one well endowed waiter. I bet Mary and Toby ask for his section all time.

  159. Tim
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    With the Duncans, Jeremy is probably looking at a wait more along the lines of 4.5 minutes.

  160. Vakar
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    148 Poteet: Here in Topeka, lovely capital of Kansas, we have a small airport. With no airline service. The people who run it would LOVE to run commercials asking us to use it, but there isn’t much point.

  161. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    HtH: I hate to tell you guys this, what with you being stuck on a deserted island and all, but those fishes are due at “Slylock Fox” for their rotting. Please deliver, post-haste.

    Nancy: Yeah, broken bones and ruptured internal organs are a blast!!

    Buckets: Otherwise known as the “family list”.

    GT: Oh, great! Now whenever real bigots show up spouting threatening invective, Elmer will be seriously unprepared. Nice job, guys!

    S4th: “Yeah, honey. You already had the family smirk right on your cherubic li’l face.” “Cool! So much better than the ones on the Funky Winkerbean characters!”

    FC: That never stopped the Canadian Pattersons, Dolly.

    Marvin: Well, “Sopwith Camel” was taken.

    Classic Peanuts 1995: Well, works for Mallard Fillmore. And Edison Lee.

  162. Muffaroo Wuffaroo
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Monday’s Chron is giving me a vacation from some strips — 9CL, Archie, AD, DT, Diesel Sweeties (I’ll just assume they haven’t moved since last week)… well, looks like half of them, give or take. Just saying, that’s all.

    Bizarro – I know just enough about Sesame Street to chuckle at this. Snuffleupagus is kind of after my time.

    Curtis – DVDs don’t work that way. The “breaking it over his head” joke worked when phonograph records were still made of fragile shellac, before the advent of “unbreakable” records. (True, I broke an LP once, but I had to caress a radiator with it just so to do it.)

    DtM – Someone’s menacing here, and it’s not the cowlick.

    FC – That kid who’s carrying the easy chair with Jeffy in it on his back must be as strong as an ox! No wonder the other boys make haste to worship him.

    H&J – Today it’s just the words “Comic image.” It’s the ultimate in conceptual nonspecificity. I can add nothing to this. No thing.

  163. Mibbitmaker
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    I just had a thought:

    If Bruce Tinsley had started his strip a few decades in the future instead of when he did, would he have named his main character “Duck Nixon”?

  164. DAS
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Speaking as an occassional pipe smoker … finally! DtM does something truly menacing!

  165. Uncle Lumpy
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    #162 Muff-Wuff –

    H&J – Today it’s just the words “Comic image.” It’s the ultimate in conceptual nonspecificity.

    Your comment raises “meta” to a whole new level! And I say that with no trace of irony. Or sarcasm!

    !

  166. squiggle
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth armed with platitudes is daunting enough – can we really allow the strip a knowledge of literary quotations (even ones picked up from brainyquote)?

  167. Muffaroo Wuffaroo
    July 28th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Just read a page of Ces’s medium-large (link @103), and was motivated to put my own Schulz homage online — drawn when he was still at it!

    The other Peanuts strip I wanted to draw was a Sunday, and hence more work, so I never did it. It starts (the logo panel) with Charlie Brown lurking behind the house as Lucy comes along. In the small panel, he leaps out and cold-cocks her from behind. Next we see that he has laboriously propped her in place on the lawn, holding up a football. Expressionless, wordless, he comes running up and kicks the ball, which rolls a few yards and stops. He stands and watches it. Then, with the football no longer holding it up, Lucy’s body slumps to an even more grotesque position. Then Charlie Brown turns out to us and says, “Somehow, it wasn’t as much fun as I had anticipated.”

    Uncle Lumpy @165 – Thanks! Give the strip a few years, and it’ll say that every weekday. On Sunday, it will say “Larger comic image.”

  168. Mike
    July 28th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: That was the best musical performance I’ve seen since the Rockafire Explosion (of Showbiz Pizza fame) did Usher’s “Love in this Club”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur8AwQHusZw

  169. blueberrygrrrl
    July 28th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Elly has to give this plot synopsis because unlike us, Gramps is smart enough to know not to waste 30 seconds a day reading this godawful comic strip.

  170. Uncle Lumpy
    July 28th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    #167 M/W –

    You have to admire the Chron for mocking Herb and Jamaal as a “Comic Image”, when it is so rarely comic, and today not even an image!

    Perhaps they see terse metacommentary as the future of comics: the possibilities are endless:

    Dick Tracy — “Grisly Scene”
    Gil Thorp — “Unhinged Perspective”
    Cathy — “Self-Loathing Doodle”

    Well, perhaps not literally endless. . . .

  171. Muffy the Poodle
    July 28th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    Pre-wedding prediction: Grampa FOOB dies after saving April from drowning in the creek.

  172. PeteMoss
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Muffaroo Wuffaroo & Uncle Lumpy, so much of what makes good comedy are the images we create in our imagination. Obviously the writers of Herb & Jamaal, Archie, BC and others have taken this concept to the ultimate level. It’s actually a brilliant use of minimalism. We may be looking at the next wave in modern comics. I know my local paper would whole-heartedly endorse this as it struggles to save a buck on newsprint any way it can. If you could fill one 1″ print column with 15 or 20 comics, you could add the Obituaries, Dining Out, and the weather all in the same section of the paper and still have room for advertisement for Walmart.

  173. LanceThruster
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    The only comic that should actively pursue open sexuality is 9 Chickweed Lane. In fact, it would be a much better comic if that was all it did. Time to ramp up the PG-13 rating into full blown R.

  174. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Mike @ 168. I was running low on nightmare fuel.

  175. cheech wizard
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    GA – I don’t know which is more far-fetched – Rufus’ bumbling, his childlike insistence on believing in Chef Meowrice, or his eagerness to meet with a man-sized monstrosity whose jaws have been elegantly crafted by nature to efficiently sever his spinal cord.

  176. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    # 153 saxman — HAR!! And nice work with the plant names. But now I see that the prairie trip may be just an excuse for a family drama on the ranch. Good luck keeping Lu Ann on task, Prairie Conservancy.

    # 154 Uncle Lumpy — Thanks for the info! I wonder if she’s planning to just drop in and give her parents a surprise. If so, I bet the “fraught” level rises significantly.

  177. Flying Ace
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    #157 made me think… how DOES MW keep up her lifestyle of mini-cruises and mediocre seafood dinners? As a faithful reader of CC should I know this? And why do I care?

  178. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    # 156 DAS & # 160 Vakar — WOW. Thanks for the reality checks. The Des Moines airport shall henceforth be safe from my snarking.

  179. bats :[
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    175. cheech wizard re GA: but you gotta love Kitty’s little happy face in Panel 1, safe in Rufus’ arms. (awwwwwwwwww!)

  180. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    # 177 Ace — In a moment of madness I once skimmed “About Mary Worth” and learned that her late husband left her an adequate but not generous income, or some such phrase. I take that to mean that it’s enough to support meddling but not a mansion.

  181. Flying Ace
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Excellent, Poteet – thanks! I was guessing corporate whistle-blowing, but that would mean Mary would have actually worked a a real job.

  182. gnome de blog
    July 28th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    Cousins Blaze and Texas Ruby (she even looks like Sandra Dee) are from Texas. A couple of years ago when she was about to marry $cotty Gaine$, LuAnn was from Wyoming. I think in her confusion she’s just throwing darts at a map.

  183. Muffaroo Wuffaroo
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    H&L – This one really appealed to me, and not just because Lois’s head is flying off her neck in panel two.

    JP – “Remember, keep your head down and follow through!” “HOMINAHOMINA! I’m gonna put my head down and follow through RIGHT HERE!”

    MT – Cherry’s so mad her eyes are literally uncrossed in panel two. Kelly Welly’s already planning her next move — better hide the cheese! Those ol’ mice just can’t resist it!

    MW – Toby’s got a week or so worth of platitudes to let out. This is going to be like the day Beavis & Butt-head weren’t allowed to snicker all day long.

    Phantom – I want to see the part where the Phantom turns on the motor of their boat, and Mr. Goodwrench says, “What the hell was THAT?”

    SFx – And while Rodney Fox is making a scene with the old four-finger discount, Mallard Flashmore, in the background, will grab a new raincoat off the rack.

    S-M – Spidey’s plan is to let the Vulture tire himself out by flying around the city for a few more weeks. Then… VOOM!

    Zits – They’ll never manage to be as indirect as my dad. He says things like, “If someone was fixing to move the butter a little closer to this end of the table, I would not say them you-know-what.” (It used to be “I would not say them nay,” but after a while, that was too direct.)

    Goat @117 – North Dakota, for me, is most famous for the music department at the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople. U of SND at H’s most famous alumnus, Professor Peter Schickele, has been miraculously finding PDQ Bach manuscripts now for years, and people keep wondering when he’ll stop. (Not me, of course. I always look forward to the next one.)

  184. Uncle Lumpy
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Hey, folks — B&W comics are back at the Chron!

    Unfortunately, for Herb and Jamaal it’s a step in the wrong direction.

    But thanks, Chron!

  185. Talking Squirrel
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    #133 Colinski: “I’m intrigued by Dr. Cory’s bold fashion statement of wearing a sweater under his dress shirt.”

    I believe that is actually his sacred underwear and he has three wives back in Orem — all underage.

    FOOB: My daddy always warned me to steer clear of people where you can see the whites of their eyes all the way around their irises, because they are crazy. Q.E.D.

    Plus, the way LJ draws them, it always looks like they’re having an oculogyric crisis. I think their Cogentin needs to be seriously boosted.

  186. Muffaroo Wuffaroo
    July 28th, 2008 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Okay, thanks to Uncle Lumpy, here’s the belated monochromatic review:

    DT“HERE COME THE DOGS! would look good on a shirt. I’m guessing this will be the first time Tracy managed to kill somebody just by shooting a whistle out of their mouth.

    FOOB – In my version of this, Grandpa’s balloon in the last panel is the well-known implied caption of every New Yorker cartoon of the last twenty years.

    FB – Come to think of it, so’s Fred Bassett’s.

    Garfield – And Jon’s.

    GT – And Elmer’s.

    H&J – And Sarah’s.

    Marmaduke – And Mrs. W’s.

    R=R – This one, though, would have to be Mimi saying, “Kwice wataa asso!” and then Pasquale translates it. With little hearts everywhere! Beam wider, you little rodents, or it’s double beatings tonight!!

    Pluggers – “Write to Pluggers…” isn’t just there as a reminder. It’s a plea. Pluggers are so damn lonesome. (Christ! What an

  187. Dub Not Dubya
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Quack Aahhh. I haven’t had time lately to read the comments most of the time, so my apologies if this has already been posted. But I saw this on another site and immediately thought of our friend Shirley the Duck from months ago in Mark Trail. And it’s a great story all around:

    http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/07/duck-darwin-awa.html

  188. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Late B&W snark:

    9CL: If it ever becomes necessary to show Claudio’s chart of Edda’s body parts in this strip, Brooke McEldowney can just scan in his.

    Big Dog: Bad news for Marmaduke… if dogs do get an afterlife, he’s not likely to be heading upward.

  189. cheech wizard
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    179/ bats :[ But of course. Although you still have to keep in mind Arlo’s (of Arlo and Janis) maxim about what would happen if you and the cat’s sizes were reversed.

  190. Dingo
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, I keep looking at that image of LuAnn with her arms extended and shrieking of South Dakota and realize the last time my face had such an intense smile must have been over twenty years ago. Damn you, LuAnn. I can’t even get that Dan Quayle with a Dildo during an orgasm, let alone for the state of South Dakota.

  191. Hank
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    RE: 145, mere cog in the machine, Mary Worth: Here’s a scary thought: if, as the bios for the strip are to believed, Mary is only about sixty. Therefore she was born in 1948. Meaning she was a teenager during much of the 1960s and was about the right age to have taken part in Beatlemania, the Summer of Love and Woodstock.

    Brrr…..the thought of Mary Worth at Woodstock, taking the brown acid and rolling naked in the mud during Jimi’s performance….it’s just too horrible to contemplate….no wonder Pete Townshend hoped he’d die before he got old.

  192. Lisa
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    {Arlo’s (of Arlo and Janis) maxim about what would happen if you and the cat’s sizes were reversed.}

    What is this?

    167- Muffa, re this:

    *The other Peanuts strip I wanted to draw was a Sunday, and hence more work, so I never did it.

    Too bad you didn’t. It is perfectly in the Schulz vein. I bet if you had sent it to him, he would have enjoyed it.

  193. Buck Ripsnort
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Ooookay, I’ve been gone a long time– Josh, I’m cheating on you w/ the Onion AV Club site. I’m sorry. Can we still be friends?
    Dingo– You picture Dan Quayle w/ a Dildo during orgasm too?
    HEY–MEDIUM LARGE IS BACK! YAY CES! I had that site bookmarked before it died, along w/ the Drinking At Work comics– good to see ya!

    Sadly, the joy of Ces’ return was marred by 7/28’s FOOB; In that last panel, Grampa Chinnuts is apparently receiving a cauliflower enema. And the cauliflower was NOT ground up first. EEEK!

  194. cheech wizard
    July 28th, 2008 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    192/ Lisa – Basically, Arlo implied that if your sizes were reversed, Mr. Cuddly-Wuddly-Snookums would eat you.

  195. JupiterPluvius
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a scary thought: if, as the bios for the strip are to believed, Mary is only about sixty. Therefore she was born in 1948

    Mary Worth isn’t “about sixty.” Susan Sarandon is “about sixty.” Meryl Streep is “about sixty.” Helen Mirren is “about sixty.”

    Mary Worth went to the prom with Cthulhu. “About sixty” my ass! SHE’S ONE OF THE OLD ONES! IA IA MARYWORTH FTHAGN!

  196. Poteet
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    # 195 Jupiter — MARYWORTH FHTAGN — great idea, if only. Because if she were waiting and dreaming, presumably she would shut up.

  197. isrw
    July 28th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Archie seems to have signed his initial on someone’s yard in urine today.

  198. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    7/28

    JP: Abbey’s not going on this trip with Sam. Why is she advising him on how to give head?

    BC: Cameo by the grown-up Lisa Simpson.

    Blondie: For anyone still thinking that they could look hip by getting a mohawk, be advised that it’s been featured in “Blondie” now. If that doesn’t say “over” nothing does.

    RMMD: “And I know you’re a very special person, daddy. And so is Niki, and the two of you did something very special together. Are we clear? Here’s a list of my demands…”

    9CL: In the middle panel it looks like Claudio is zeroing in on Edda’s Venusian cleft. Signs point to “no.”

    WofI: The avant gardist in me would like it better if they dropped the first panel.

    MW: Hideous top. Check. Meaningless aphorisms. Check. Toeby is really coming along in her Mary lessons.

    S-M: Vulture is cranky today. He’s wearing saggy wings that leak.

    Shoe: “Uh-oh. Looks like fresh Plugger is on the menu.”

    Momma: Oh, give it a rest, Jocasta.

    FW: Hey man, I’m pretty sure Charlie Brown is still a lot higher on the comics food chain than is Bull Bushka.

    SFx: So Reeky Rat plans his (incredibly) petty theft when the town detective is two feet away from him? I can only conclude that he’s like James Whitmore in “Shawshank Redemption” and only feels safe on the inside.

    Crock: Um, Mrs Grimace, you’re wearing a burqa. If you’re dismayed by seeing wrinkles, get an iron.

    Archie: “Yeah, when he shovels my driveway in the winter, he pisses an A in the snow. It’s real cute.”

  199. Niall
    July 28th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    156. DAS: I can vouch for everything you say. I’ve been to Tallahassee. And yes, it was my final destination. I had a good reason at least. :) (My first girlfriend. I stayed there for aprt of March Break. I didn’t believe her when she said that and summer vacation are when they turned off the traffic lights and put up the stop signs because there wasn’t enough traffic. How foolish I was to doubt her… :))

    168. Mike: Thank you OH so very much for breaking my brain tonight.

    187. Dub not Dubya: thank you for that wonderful story! Nice to see something that’s not glurgy but truly heartwarming.

  200. KT
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: That panel looks like Luann’s performing in the smash Broadway musical, “South Dakota!!!” (Yes, the three !s are part of the title.)

  201. Monkeypox
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    I’m really ticked that Mary Worth got to see Swell Season and I didn’t because it was SOLD OUT. Now she’s going to be rubbing my nose in it for the next week and a half.

  202. P
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    RMND: I think we found a Grandpa for Japanese Porn Star Sarah!

    http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/07/27/japan.porn/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

  203. Paul1963
    July 29th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    #167 Muffaroo Wuffaroo: One of my sketchbooks contains a cartoon I did where Charlie Brown has buried Lucy neck-deep in the ground and poured honey over her head. With an evil grin, he wipes the dust from his hands as the ants advance on her…

    Gasoline Alley, 7/29: Today the part of Pierre Les Chats will be played by every single reader of this strip.

    PVP, 7/29: “Family Troll” continues. http://www.pvponline.com

  204. Anonymous
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Let’s hope Jeremy’s dad is using Cialis and not Viagra, so he can “choose his time”. Nothing worse than driving your teenage son’s friends around with a tumescent little friend and a fuming wife back home.

  205. Crankenstank
    July 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    twas I ^^^^

  206. kostia
    July 31st, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    It’s not “you have a choice, you’ve made it now.” It’s “you have a choice, you’ll make it now.”

    The concept of people making their own choices is clearly so foreign to Mary Worth that she’s misheard the lyrics entirely.

  207. Haley
    August 12th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    You have no idea how much your comments about the 2nd South Dakota one made me laugh.

  208. Nimrod Gently
    November 5th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    SOUTH MOTHERFUCKING DAKOTA BITCHES

  209. Angle Blue Eyes
    April 8th, 2009 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    No idea what are you talking about……. South Dakota

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