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Monday quickies

Blondie, 3/11/13

Easiest way to distract Dagwood from all the terrible news you’re about to give him about his financial condition: Metaphors! Lots of colorful, confusing metaphors!

Herb and Jamaal, 3/11/13

Ha ha, it’s funny because Jamaal used to have sex with lots of different women, but now he has trouble pooping.

Hi and Lois, 3/11/13

I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen Chip’s eyes? They’re terrifying.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 07:25 am and is filed under Blondie, Herb and Jamaal, Hi and Lois. |

320 responses to “Monday quickies”

Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

Due to the Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey nature of temporal displacement, Shannon from Luann is also Elinor from Mary Worth. (They both look like they’re about to puke!)

The Doctor told Shannon not to BLINK, but no…
KreatureFeatures
March 11th, 2013 at 7:29 am [Reply]

Crankshat: It’s not humanly possible for me to be less interested in this tree.

MW: If you keep making that face, it’s going to stay like that.

MT: Forget Rusty, he’s gone. There’s bass fishing afoot!
wossname
March 11th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Sly – Who cares about the firewood? Slylock needs to investigate who stole Granny Squirrel’s tail.

Phantom – I really, really love lioness #4. Can we give her a name? Can we have her join Devil and (white horsy whose name I don’t remember) in the cohort of Phantom’s animal companions?

A3G – Now seriously, this is just bullshit. It would be one thing to continue the rooftop scene a few more days to prolong the suspense, but to just skip ahead a few days is not a clever narrative gambit.

JP – Hello, Woody Wilson Enterprises? I have a complaint. Yesterday Neddie and Corey were looking all seductive at each other, saying “No, no, Abbey, you and Thalia go ahead and ride, we’ll, er, um, amuse ourselves back here.” Today they’re all business.

A S-M – What kind of a weapon goes SZZZT? Surely not a taser – that wouldn’t be lethal enough. A flamethrower maybe?

@bats :[ (#Y149): Hey, I think if Bob Weber Jr. is summoning us for a Mudgeon meetup next spring in Tucson, we should do it!
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Pluggers… never show this much devotion to their local Mom and Pop stores. (Why “Buy American” when you can own cheap plastic crap made in China?)

Herb & Jamaal — The latter tells Herb that he eats prunes and All-Bran Cereal in order to poop. (A conversation I’ve always been too embarrassed to have with MY best friend. Maybe it’s time…)
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

GT: The Central Committee has hereby found that the so-called magic peacock is a reactionary element promoting feudalistic superstition, detracting from team solidarity, and dragging this damn story out, and it and its keeper are to be immediately liquidated in favor of a spring baseball/softball storyline featuring Comrade Clambake.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

JP – Clearly, today’s strip was created by having the artist first draw Neddy naked, then adding some stripes and calling it a top. Or, you can just imagine that in panel 2 she has had her breasts painted orange. Because no natural fabric would wrap around her nipples that way.

9CL – So, Edda dropped everything, literally left her friend at the altar, hopped a caboose up to New Hampshire, so that … she could give Fleurrie Sprocket dating advice? Obviously, now that our heroines have revelled in their goodness for “saving” the cow, it is time to get back to the only really important thing in a Burber’s life – finding a thrall to sexually service them and shower them with praise for their looks.
pugfuggly
March 11th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

Blondie “Well, it was certainly better than the guy we met last week who explained everything with onomatopoeias. Remember that? ‘Your retirement is going all eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-sploosh!…gurgle gurgle gurgle… KAPPOOOOOW!!!‘”

H&J Herb’s eyes seem to say “You don’t need to tell me, buddy, I’m ear-level to your asshole….”

H&L Like the Graeae, there’s only so many eyes to go around in the Flagston household. Not a single tooth though….
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

A3G-Looks like Ari has been using “The Mary Worth Cookbook”.

A3G 2-Some comics will bore us to tears filling in every little detail of a storyline. This comic moves at such a lightning speed that they leave out major details.

FW-It’s funny because Funky Winkerbean has turned into a bleak and depressing comic.

JP-Has Mark gotten out of the nature writer business?

MT-Thanks for your help, woodland creatures.

MT 2-”Nope. Nothing in here but pictures of naked ladies.”

MW-”Beth, if you don’t have that chimp next to you silenced I will have to put it down.”

RMMD-”Does Rex know? Whose the father? It can’t be Rex.”

Sally Forth-Sally’s hatred of her brother-in-law is so fierce that she will become an abortion supporter and push for her sister to get one.

Archie-Is Jughead too full that he can’t Betty?
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

MT – Those of you who are complaining that this development makes no sense, that kidnapping a child just because he might have taken a picture that raises suspicions that you are cheating at a fishing tournament is a disproportionate reaction, are simply not familiar with the legal system in the Southern Part of the State.

Remember, the kidnappers are not kidnapping a child, they are guilty of Kidnapping Rusty. Due to prison overcrowding and the overall strain on the judicial system, Kidnapping Rusty has been decriminalized. You pay a $100 fine and walk away. This was absolutely necessary, as before decriminalization up to 1/3 of the local population found themselves imprisoned for Kidnapping Rusty on any given day. Even Cherry Trail frequently ended up kidnapping Rusty once or twice before breakfast. “How many times have I told you not to come in my room and wake me up first thing on a Saturday morning!” and, yadda, yadda, yadda, Rusty is fastened to the toilet with duct tape. These days, he carries his own silk rope with him at all times just to reduce the chafing. And Mark bought him a break-away camera strap for Christmas, to make losing the camera that much easier.
S. Stout
March 11th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Luann: I know Shannon is cast as the annoying kid we are supposed to hate, but she’s still just a kid. You’re supposed to watch them and express sympathy when they’re throwing up. Evans must have real issues if he thinks these awful women are wonderful protagonists.
Doctor Handsome
March 11th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

“Disappointed? Heck, no! I’m surprised that there were jokes in this strip.”
revenge4Aldo
March 11th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

MT- The next strip will feature Mark (and some woodland creatures) thrillingly wait around a one hour photo.
pugfuggly
March 11th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

ASM Well, at least we finally know the truth behind Hunter Thompson’s passing…

A3G A few days later? Weren’t we about to be treated with a major event at the top of the Empire State building? You know guys, if you’re not going to bother finishing with these plots, you shouldn’t start them in he first place. Oh nevermind, let’s just find out about the Colonel’s new extra-crispy recipe.

Crankshaft I really hope this is the one where a young Crankshaft is blown by a storm away to the magical land of Oz, where he scares a lion, steals a tin man’s oil and nails a scarecrow to a cross.

MT Well, if you hit Moto-photo quick enough, the culprits will only have an hour head start.
Cloudbuster
March 11th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

FW: In the Funkyverse, hearing about a friend’s close relative having a stroke is a good opportunity to pull out some of your trademark comic book themed humor.

Also, when a friend gives a well-meaning expression of concern about your terribly ill father, smug snarkiness is the appropriate response.

Man, aren’t those stroke patients a laugh a minute what with all their drooling, confusion, paralysis, incomprehensible speech and the inability to perform day-to-day tasks that are simple for the rest of us?

Good God, is this the most inappropriate comedy theme to ever appear in a newspaper comic? The Funkyverse is a terrible, terrible place.

MT: It’s like watching stroke victims try to solve a crime! (What? Too soon?)

MW: Look at poor Carlos! Women fought so hard for equal rights … except when it comes to moving heavy objects.

9CL: Fleurrie is wearing the same catholic school girl themed getup that Edda wears all the time. But don’t worry, Edda will get her properly tarted up.

GT: “Another dose of peacock…. My pleasure. Long as you boys need us, the bird and I will keep our schedules open!” You can’t make me believe the Gil Thorpe writer is not aware of all the raging innuendo permeating this story line.

Luann: Pretty much everyone in Shannon’s life is a despicable self-absorbed monster, pawning her off from person to person, because nobody loves or values her. No wonder she’s a brat.

Pibgorn: Having the main comic basically tell you to go over to the sketchbook manages to be both interestingly meta and traditionally annoying at the same time.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

“Eyes of Chip Flagston” is the 2013 remake of “Eyes of Laura Mars” — with Chip playing the part Faye Dunaway played in the 1978 original.

Suddenly Chip Flagston can see through the eyes of a serial killer as he commits his crimes. He contacts his father’s friend Dick Tracy and they attempt to stop the killer from killing again. But first, they have to figure out who it is.

Well, we know the killer isn’t Sweatbox. He’s dead. OR IS HE???
Doctor Handsome
March 11th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

Huh. Kind of odd that there`s more identifiable differences between Chip and his reflection than between Lois and any other image we’ve ever seen of Lois.
Cloudbuster
March 11th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

A3G: I’ve begun to suspect that Margaret Shulock is engaging in some sort of weird experiment with Apartment 3-G. She’s thinking, “Frank Bolle has proven he can go years at a time without drawing anyone below the waist (bonus for making everyone frumpy and bland). What can I do to top that? I know I’ll see how long I can go with only writing the boring parts of stories.”
Cloudbuster
March 11th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

JP: Didn’t comment on it yesterday, but the first panel, with Thalia’s eyes glued to Abbey’s attractively-displayed posterior, asking “Really? We could go riding … now?” and Abbey responding “Absolutely, I have just the mare for you!” is one of the most suggestive panels I’ve ever seen.
Droopy Says
March 11th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

@S. Stout (#10): When a kid acts like Shannon, it’s time to investigate the ~~adults~~ people above the age of eighteen in her life.
LUJBEM FEJF
March 11th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Things are going to start happening to me now!
Flummoxicated
March 11th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

MT: Fortunately for the kidnappers, film has become obsolete.
Agoraphobic Turtle
March 11th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

“What’s the matter, Jamaal?” “I think I’ve reached the point in my life… where I feel that taking elongated pauses while telling a joke… somehow makes it funnier.”

Wait, didn’t he reach that point in his life years ago?
Midtown
March 11th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

FW: I’m not blaming you for that piss-poor remark, Darrin. I know you only speak the lines given to you in this little drama.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

“All-bran” is the closest Herb & Jamaal has ever come to referencing a brand name. The joke still failed tragically, of course.
Doctor Handsome
March 11th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

@Anonymous (#24): Me`
Hibbleton
March 11th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

A3G: It’s taken days for Ari to whip up a batch of meatballs, potatoes, and clams on the half-shell while loving every minute of it? He’s either high as a kite or lost some serious comprehension skills during that fire.
Pozzo
March 11th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

Isn’t Chip Beetle Bailey’s nephew? We’ve never seen Beetle’s eyes, either. I think Chip may have a future as a goldbricking bottom.
Poteet
March 11th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Will this week feature both Shannon in LUANN and my personal most-loathed comics child, Max in STONE SOUP? Ugh ugh ugh and yet again ugh.
Poteet
March 11th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

CRANKSHAFT — I knew some way would be found to make this story unbearable.
nescio
March 11th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Blondie: Their retirement situation is even worse considering Dagwood’s been in the work force since the ’30s.
TheDiva
March 11th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

Blondie: Dagwood’s been working for sixty years now; if he’s not going to retire now, he never will.

H&J: Even the jokes in Herb and Jamaal are generic.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Day by Day shows us that no matter what our political philosophies, the unmitigated joy of seeing two women run naked down the beach is still entertainment.

Don’t try this yourselves, kids. I had a friend who went to Virginia Beach. One night she arbitrarily ripped off her clothes and ran down to the waves in the buff. Her friends followed. Anyway, five minutes later, they emerged from the surf to find two police officers writing tickets. Not one of her better vacations, I imagine.
Lenoxus
March 11th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

Jamaal’s not making grammatical sense here. Would it work better if it were something like “I’ve sown my wild oats, and now they’ve grown into prunes and all-bran”? No, it would not, because that suggests that the all-natural laxatives are somehow his children. I call the joke unsalvagable.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

@Agoraphobic Turtle (#22): He took an …. acting…. class from …. William Shatner.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

MT: Wait! Rusty’s camera! It may have a clue! I know I sure don’t! Let’s take it to the 1hr photomat and have the film developed!

Bluegill: The what?

MT: The film! In the camera!

Bluegill (looks closely): I don’t see any film on that camera, but here’s my hankerchief. Try wiping it off.

MT: No, to take pictures! To the photomat!

Bluegill: The wh… oh, those. Yeah, the last one closed ’bout 6 years ago, Mark. You’re out of luck. Maybe we can take out that film and look at it ourselves.
pugfuggly
March 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

@Lenoxus (#33):

I think if you take his sentence at grammatical face-value, Jamal is saying that he prefers defecating on woman than ejaculating in them.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Lio: umm, wow. words fail me.

SBp: *golf clap*

Bizarro: one for the furries.

JUMBLE: *bow-chikka-bow-wow* (“hard penis” fits, but probably isn’t the answer.)

Ghost-who-is-no-spot-to-be-joking: so, they just go get the rifle and shoot them both. NEXT!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Love Is . . .Hef, the early years.
NonnyMus
March 11th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

I now have hope that Dagwood and Blondie will retire someday!
Dood
March 11th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Hi and Lois: Well, that ruins Lois’ chai moment.
Marc
March 11th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

9CL- Yeah, it’s a great outfit if you’re a nun. Or Edda on any other day of the week. But it’s not going to get you laid, which is the only purpose in a Burber’s life.

A3G- Apartment 3G won a gold medal in the shitty comics olympics for its ability to completely ignore and blow past major plot points.

Funky- Strokes are funny, alcoholism is hilarious, dimentia is a riot. But don’t you hidebound literalist motherfuckers ever make fun of cancer, cancer, cancer which took the life of Saint Lisa.

Luann- I’m calling bullshit. If her house is really that messy, Toni has nobody to blame but herself. She’s the only one living there, so if she couldn’t be bothered to do the dishes for 3 weeks and waited until Shannon was around to do it, she has nobody to blame but herself. Of course, it’s probably all just a rouse to get the sick kid she’s supposed to be caring for out of her way. So either way, she is intentionally keeping the kid living in squalor. Where the fuck is child protective services?

Mark Trail- I think Mark needs to move past the Rusty dropping the camera angle. I don’t know how many more times he can say that Rusty would never drop his camera on purpose. Although it may have all just been a stalling mechanism so he could spend a few days coming up with the looking at the pictures clue. World’s greatest detective, Mark Trail is not.

Mary Worth- You better shut up the hell up Mary or Emperor Palpatine over there is going to lightning finger you. And not in the good way either.
Hibbleton
March 11th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38):
Huzzah!
Dood
March 11th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Blondie: How much did Wintermeier Retirement Consultants of Largo, Fla., kick in for the product placement?
Mikey
March 11th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

MT: Yes a clue! Hmm, nothing on here but nude photos of Cherry and Doc…
fillmoreeast
March 11th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Hi and Lois: Now I just need an excuse for why I am clearly tweaking! And also have wiped off my freckles with this cloth!
Mikey
March 11th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

@Marc (#41): I like the Emperor Palpatine reference. It’s funny how careful Giella is to not make Elinor look like Mary. What we end up with is Leona Helmsely in panel one and something akin to ET in panel two.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Phantom: Your kind has been saying that for almost 500 years now!

Black henchman: MY KIND?? What sort of racist shit is that??

White henchman: I don’t think it was racist. I think he means henchmen of any color.

Black henchman: Can we just shoot him now?

White henchman: No, I’ve got a better idea.

narration box: Tomorrow – A BETTER IDEA!
TheDiva
March 11th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

9CL: What exactly makes this parochial jumper any worse than the parochial jumpers Edda wears on a regular basis?

A3G: How can time pass so quickly in a story that’s moving so slowly?

C’shaft: Oh goody, another “Crankshaft was kind of not an asshole briefly in his past, so that makes him okay” flashback!

FW: I get using humor to cope with tragedy and difficult times, I really do. But the dead-eyed, smirking way the characters in this strip deliver their bon mots speaks less of coping and more of callous indifference. Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

GT: It’s a little known fact that the Shroud of Turin was originally manufactured to inspire a basketball team during the playdowns.

Luann: Good thing it’s not Valentine’s Day, otherwise we’d have to sit through several strips of Luann complaining about how she has to be helpful to others when she should be getting showered with roses and chocolates.

MT: *opens film compartment* “Hmmm, no, no clues in there…”

MW: Like the guy with the sunglasses in They Live, Beth’s mom seems to be the only person who recognizes Mary for the horrifying creature she is.

Pibgorn: The plot is not just lost. The plot is locked somewhere in a booby-trapped temple buried by the sands of time and erased from historical record.

Pluggers lead depressing, depressing lives.

SM: Killing underlings is the highlight of Kingpin’s day.
Horace Broon
March 11th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

A3G: “Woa, what’s all this Margo? The last thing I remember, we were on the Empire State Building. What day is it now?”

DT: As a Scot, I admit to being slightly baffled that they’re specifying “Scottish” here. If the clue was “A British rummage sale” it would have worked better, IMO.

FC: Wait, what time does Daddy need to be at work? Why aren’t the kids ready for school? Please don’t say we’re going to get a week of everyone else being sick…

JP: “Sure you don’t want a ride today?” “No thanks, Corey, but I might take one of the horses out.”
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

A3G: Yes, it took the professor days to make dinner. No one has any hands. And, with the way the background changes every nine seconds, he’d put a pot on the stove, and it would suddenly morph into a lamp on a bookshelf.
Dennis Jimenez
March 11th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Blondie – If your dick was a sausage, it would be a Vienna frank. Disappointed? Are you kidding! After 80 years in this strip, I’m happy to have a dick at all….

H&J – He’s like Gene Simmons who used to like to rock and roll all night, but now it’s more important to potty ev-er-ry day….

H&L – Chip’s spun….

Adios Amigos, DJ.
debussy fields
March 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

MW– “I look forward to having you both over for dinner this weekend.” “Beth, I’m tired. Let’s go.” “You know, Beth, I don’t know what I was thinking, inviting the two of you into my home. With every breath she takes, your mother makes it enormously clear just how much of a bitch she is. I withdraw the dinner offer!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

Blondie: So apparently Dean Young is paying off his accountant with cameos in the strip as well as his doctors.

MW: Carlos Alora makes sure to lift with the legs. He’s already been reduced to an extra and Mary got his name wrong. There’s no reason for him to throw out a vertebra as well.

WofI: From now on I’ll be hearing the Wizard’s lines in Sir Ian’s voice, which should be good for some WTF moments at least.

FW: “Anyway, nice talking to you, Darin.”

9CL: Oh joy, a weeklong Burber makeover complete with a tour of Word’s font effects.

JP: “That creepy kid of his somehow got abducted again, but otherwise Mark is A-OK.”

RMMD: The rule of thumb is to wait until the second trimester to start telling people, but that would put us somewhere in the next decade.

HtH: “And rock also beats scissors. Ooh, that gives me an idea for a fun game. Let’s think of all the things this boat has in common with scissors. Who want to go first?”

GT: I envy anyone who’s reading Thorp for the first time today, imagining what they’ll make of the embracing teenage boys looking for “a dose of peacock.”

Phantom: “Notice that I said ‘your kind’ to the white guy, just so there are no misunderstandings here.”

SFx: Slylock knows that Shady is lying because “forest property”? Are you shitting me? Shady lives in a condemned hovel with a gym sock on the roof. “Property”, give me a break.

Lockhorns: “Scanners: The Suburban Years.”

A3G: The professor has been cooking for days. There’s a lot of meat on him, but he should be done after a few more hours on the broiler.
Dono
March 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

Today’s Spider-Man, while typically goofy as hell, is a nice little dig at corporate America.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

@Horace Broon (#49): A3G – “What day is it now?”

It was Christmas Eve when the fire broke out. Then there was a time jump of “A month later” then after a few aimless strips affirming that the major players were still alive “a few weeks later” when we found out that they already caught Evan, had the trial and were on the virge of charging Aunt Cathy with something maybe conspiracy. They went to the Empire State Building. Now it’s “a few days” after that.

A3G runs in a fog or permanent fuge state, sort of like a run-on sentence that keeps you off balance because you lose track of exactly how it all started and don’t have a clear idea where it is headed, which also serves to keep us all at the edge of suspense because we feel that maybe this will be the strip or the week that it all comes out and there is some final explanation for who is doing what and why, but all we get, sadly, is a poof of a time jump and some vague references to the end of a plot that we weren’t all that clear on to begin with.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

@Dennis Jimenez (#51):

Blondie – If your dick was a sausage, it would be a Vienna frank. Disappointed? Are you kidding! After 80 years in this strip, I’m happy to have a dick at all….

Blondie Bumstead: You still have a dick? Funny, I’ve seen no evidence of that lately.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#14): Re: Pibgorn

You see, I had no idea there was a “sketchbook” site containing his original sketches and to which we were supposed to turn in order to read today’s installment. I thought Brooke just became distracted while drawing the blue sex demon’s ass, and didn’t have time to finish anything below that.

9CL – Well, last week we had Fleurrie Sprocket ask her employee on a date. He refused, believing it was inappropriate, and so she fired him, thus removing that impediment. If she wants to get laid, she can just threaten to withold his final paycheck, or to not submit his COBRA documentation, or to turn him in to the police for theft. Of course, if she was a real Burber, she wouldn’t need to resort to such measures, as she could just show up at his door, mutter something into his ear, and watch as he dissolves into a quivering mass of erect protoplasm, suitable for mounting.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): HtH: “.. and rock also beats scissors!”

Using that logic, a paper boat would have passed right over those rocks.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): A “Hap Hap Happy Birthday!” to actors Alex Kingston and John Barrowman. (Both Alex and John can be seen on “Arrow” these days…)

@pugfuggly (#36): I don’t know which bodily function we’re referencing here, but Herb is standing too damn close to Jamaal for comfort.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

@Horace Broon (#49): My guess would be that Curtis first heard the “jumble” usage from a Scottish person, so he thought it was a specifically Scottish thing.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

@Dennis Jimenez (#51): [re: Blondie] The primary raw ingredients in Vienna sausage/franks are pork, beef and chicken. Or as Dagwood calls them: the three main food groups.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Blondie: Dagwood pays people to insult his net worth. That sort of explains things, doesn’t it?

Advisor:
If your savings accounts were a car, they’d be a 1987 Yugo!
If your income were a movie, it would be The Adventures of Pluto Nash!
If your financial position were a comic strip, it would be

Dag: Don’t say “Blondie”. Don’t say “Blondie”!

Advisor: Funky Cancerbroke!

Blondie: Are you disappointed, dear?

Dag: I’m surprised it was that good!
Mibbitmaker
March 11th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Running late on a busy day featuring getting a new webcomic started (announced on Friday and today on my current webcomic), so any oversnarpologies needed….

H&L: Word of advice: When bamboozling authority figures, DO NOT tell your plan to another authority figure! Duh, Chip!

Blondie: I thought the metaphors were going to be relevent in the punchline. Obvious error there, whichever duo is producing the strip these days.

H&J: I’m sure all the women Jamaal’s been dating will just love THAT metaphor!
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

@wossname (#3) Re: Phantom: Let’s see … the stallion is Hero, the wolf is Devil, so the lioness should be named Cheezburger.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

@pugfuggly (#36): I think that’s a tidbit from the upcoming “Comic Strip Babylon” tell-all.
Marc
March 11th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#62): Dagwood, if your running speed were a comic strip, it would be Mary Worth.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#32): My first guess was going to be that the water was infested with Portuguese men-o-war and that your friend got stung in places she didn’t even know she had, which obviously would have sucked too.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Crankshaft — “We’d gone out for some custard cones when suddenly we remembered that it was JOHNNY APPLESEED DAY!”

Yes indeedy. March 11th is Johnny Appleseed Day, a day set aside each year to honor John Chapman, the man history credits with introducing apple trees to Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois.
Old Folkie
March 11th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

H&L: Lois has no right being irked at Chip for oversleeping, since she bailed on the primary parenting task of getting one’s kids up in time for school…

FW: Darrin’s going for Westview”s Asshole of the Week award…
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Crank – Just buy a mailbox, paint “Keesterman” on the side, and nail it to the tree. It will be stuck up Crankshaft’s tail pipe by the end of the day – one way or another!
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

@S. Stout (#10): Issues? Evans is the newspaper morgue!
Shran
March 11th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Blondie: I would say it’s amazing that Dagwood and Blondie are still worrying about their retirement account, since both are close to 100 years old at this point, but that’s ultimately meaningless since Dagwood has already blown all the money they’ve saved from his twenty minutes of actual work per month on food porn websites.
But What Do I Know?
March 11th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

@Dono (#54): Henchman 1: “But what about my 401K-ay-y-y-y-y!!!”

JP — Anyone know who these people are that they’re talking about?

GT — The playdowns are here!!!

FW — Jesus, what a dick. . .
Casino LF
March 11th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

9CL: No human woman would wear a jumper on a date. Or, you know, a jumper. NO, I CANNOT GET OVER THE JUMPER THING.

JP: BEWWWWWWBS! Where, WHERE? do I get this mystery shrink-wrap fabric that will show every contour of my nerps?!?

RMMD: I assume Sarah’s head is going to spin around, complete with projectile vomiting, when they tell her they’re going to have another kid. Hopefully the new one won’t be Rusty-Trail-Level-Terrifying like the current monster.

Luann: If *my* brother had a habit of showing up and trying to dump his daughter at my house without any notice, I’d have the door locked tight and start ignoring his calls pretty quickly.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#55): A3G runs in a fog or permanent fug[u]e state, sort of like a run-on sentence that keeps you off balance because you lose track of exactly how it all started and don’t have a clear idea where it is headed, which also serves to keep us all at the edge of suspense because we feel that maybe this will be the strip or the week that it all comes out and there is some final explanation for who is doing what and why, but all we get, sadly, is a poof of a time jump and some vague references to the end of a plot that we weren’t all that clear on to begin with.

Impressive! Did William Faulkner take your correspondence course?

// Or, did you take his? Can I sign up?
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Scary Gary — A mob of “Frankenstein” reenactors carrying torches and pitch forks chase Gary through the streets of suburbia. It’s their touching tribute to the 195th anniversary of the first publication of Mary Shelley’s seminal novel (published on this day in 1818).
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Luann – If her brother “just dropped Shannon off”, then all that mess in the kitchen pre-dates her arrival. Maybe Luann will call her on this, and thus lead to the revelation that Shannon lives there full time and is Toni’s daughter.

Wait, that would require some level of intelligence and awareness of other people’s problems from our protagonist. So, unless Tiffany clues her in on what is going on, Luann will never figure it out.
Uncle Lumpy
March 11th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

@But What Do I Know? (#73):

Anyone know who these people are that they’re talking about?

Abbey is Neddy’s stepmom, Thalia her doctor friend from Paris, Corey the Spencer Farms stablemaster, Mark his son and Neddy’s former beau, and Mariah the horse. I assume you’ve already met Nipper, the protagonist.
Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
March 11th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

@Dono (#54): @Dono (#54): a nice little dig at corporate America.…made in a comic strip about a character who is a wholly owned product of a multinational corporation and published in dozens of corporate owned newspapers daily.
Holly Folly
March 11th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

I feel really sorry for Dagwood now. He is how old? I think it is way, way too late for him to save any meaningful amount before retirement at this point. Yet, he seems unable to grasp that his later years will not be filled with sofas, relaxation and sandwiches, but with the soul crushing horror that is being a greeter at the Walmart.
Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
March 11th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#77): Maybe Luann will call her on this, and thus lead to the revelation that Shannon lives there full time and is Toni’s daughter….which in real life would cause all sorts of complications as Brad would be forced to evaluate why his girlfriend lied to him about having a kid all these years. But here it will probably lead to nothing but some wacky TJ hijinks and the strip’s “heroine” whining about how it takes a bit of attention away from her whining about Tiffany being self centered for a few minutes.
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Blondie-”I’m just glad that they didn’t use any food analogies to help me understand our financial situation.”
Doodle Bean
March 11th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Dagwood is still dressing like it’s the 1950′s while Blondie is dressing like it’s 1977!
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Blondie-Dagwood will never retire. He’ll continue to live on in repeats and attempts by later writers to duplicate the current writer’s style.
Hart of Johnny
March 11th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

@Old Folkie (#69): I was thinking the same thing about Lois. “Eh, what do I care if this hell spawn gets off to his government-mandated schooling? He’s clearly following in his uncle’s footsteps and will be looking for rough tricks in the military soon enough.”
Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
March 11th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

@Casino LF (#74): 9CL: No human woman would wear a jumper on a date. Or, you know, a jumper. NO, I CANNOT GET OVER THE JUMPER THING. Apparently, you have never heard of Ithaca, New York or “Angelheart” clothing.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

M&J: Build it, Jeff, and they will come.

Nancy: You can find “cooties” in the regular dictionary, Nancy.

xkcd: Hey! An Earth Prime reference for you comic book geeks!
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#87): Of course I previewed! It’s just that I feel very strongly about Mutt ‘n Jeff!
Will
March 11th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

MT: I bet his business card reads Mark Trail: Genius. How could Rusty’s disappearance be at all a mystery? They went to check on Rod Bassy, because he seemed like he cheated in the contests. He was all squirrelly about his van. Rusty, being Rusty, said he was going look at the van. Is there any other plausible reason for Rusty to be missing? Is there any other plausible place for him to be?
The Right Venerable Pasdordan
March 11th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: Let’s see, you gotta figure that it takes 24-48 hours to get real film developed, so we should have a good week or two before Mark says “Scuba gear? What the hell?”

Rusty’s going to starve to death before this is all over. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

@Doodle Bean (#83):

Dagwood is still dressing like it’s the 1950?s while Blondie is dressing like it’s 1977!

In this our postmodern era crypto-nostalgic hipster ironicism where there are no new styles but mere collage-like amalgamations of old ones, I’d say this is one of the things Blondie gets right. Dagwood goes in for 1950s retrowear because it hearkens back to a time when (he imagines) middle managers were afforded respect, dignity, security and power, while Blondie goes in for the style and manner of the so-called “liberated” woman of the 70s. Both of them are engaged in a Theater of Narcissism, acting for an audience of themselves in an exhausting effort to suspend disbelief long enough to escape the crushing knowledge that the terms of their existence are not their own to choose, but shift and slide like sand dunes according to breezy whims of employers and creditors.
The Right Venerable Pasdordan
March 11th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

@Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#79): Dozens?
Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
March 11th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

@The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#92): I was being generous. ;-)
Austria
March 11th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

FW: I tried to say Darrin’s line with my mouth barely open on one side, as depicted in the strip, and it came out all garbled.
….Well, come on, I had to say something other than “Funky Winkerbean is depressing.”

H&L: Those aren’t eyes. Chip has one giant eye with two pupils, just like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Luann: What I’m wondering is why the brother would leave Shannon with someone else if she’s puking everywhere, unless he’s got a phobia or something.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

@Doodle Bean (#83): “Dagwood is still dressing like it’s the 1950?s while Blondie is dressing like it’s 1977!”

Maybe Blondie is doing a retro so-old-it’s-back-in-style. But for her part, big boobs are NEVER out of fashion.
Hibbleton
March 11th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

A3G: Days later, with faint memory of how they got there, everyone awakes at a dinner party. Greg begins to wonder if appearing in a reality TV show based on the “Hangover” franchise was a smart career move while assistant producer and set physician Ari chuckles to himself “Ruffies are great”
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

@Austria (#94): Yeah, if I were Luann, I’d be a little pissed that I’m being left with a sick kid. That was not conveyed during the hasty phone conversation.

My 6 month old was puking up once. She recovered by the next day, but I had a job interview, so I dropped her off at a neighbor. 36 hours after I picked her up at daycare, I started to wretch. 36 hours after my wife came home to see our sick kid, she started wretching. 36 hours after I dropped the kid at the neighbors, the wife started wretching. 36 hours after the neighbor husband came home (he didn’t even see my kid), he started wretching. To borrow from “Stand by Me”: A TOTAL PUKE-A-RAMA.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#97): Maybe it was “Barf-a-rama”.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

late to the lols due to bed magnets, dog walks and Firefox crashes, but here we go!

just another Monday dog for bb,u.

suddenly, Bob Ross. [*]

Bug-swatter .

wait for it. . . .. *ROFLS*

Drat. So much for that idea.

firewall corgi protects your internets.

hovercorgi in training .
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

@Marc (#66): If your credit score were a newspaper section, it would be the obituaries.
The Right Venerable Pasdordan
March 11th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

@Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#93): ‘S what I figured.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

H&L: “That’ll be my excuse when I show up to school late!”

So instead of appearing lazy, they’ll only think you’re an ignorant idiot?
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#20): I usually don’t go for comics crossovers, but I think Jumble/Dick Tracy will make a good combination! Did you have anything to do with setting this up?
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Love is…: … what you make of it!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

@Herr Kommissar Denny (#64): Ghost-can-haz-cheeseburger?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#104): *snurk!*
Jasper
March 11th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

MW- Sure its no problem for you, Mary but it looks like old Carlos is about to keel over.

MT- Rusty wouldn’t have left his camera voluntarily. Really? Who the f would say something like this.
Wait, CAMERA-PICTURES-CLUE, to the Bat Cave!! Too bad you didn’t give Rusty any film to put in the camera, Mark.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Shoe: Roz is right. I’d recoil in horror if someone I’m talking to revealed that he’s got gas that’s been in fermentation for 55 years ready to pop out at any moment. Back away slowly, leave the restaurant. Watch from a distance to see him leave.
“Hey Roz, can I use the bathroom?”
“GOD, NO! I mean, it’s uh, out of order.”
Dale
March 11th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

MARK TRAIL will find a picture of the inside of a van.

He will figure it must be Bassy’s van because that’s who he’s been snooping on for three days.

Now, DESTROY the pictures.
They show Rusty was in someone’s van without permission – like a burglar.
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): AKA, The Man Who Cannot Asplode
Amos Snarkadder
March 11th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

MT: “Wait! Rusty’s camera! Maybe it holds a clue!”
Yes, maybe. And if it does, it will be the only thing with a clue in this story.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

MT: Mark gets a phone call – Bassy and Catfish disguise their voices:

Catfish: Mr. Trail, we have your kid.

Mark: Yes! Do you want a ransom? I’ll pay!

Catfish: It’s going to take a lot of money if you ever want to see your Rusty again.

Mark: Ransom to get him… back? I thought I was offering money to keep him. That’s what happened when I got kidnapped. Are you a first time ‘napper? I can give some helpful suggestions, you know.
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

9CL: “How dare you steal my silly look!”

FW: “No, I mean is he any better?”

“How the fuck should I know? He had a stroke, and now I’m staying far away from him. It might be contagious or something!”

Garfield: I have a plan for what to write for today’s Garfield strip, and how to write it. Oh yes, I have it all planned out. It may just be the best plan I’ve ever had.

Luann: Shannon’s really proud of it, too! She got good distance and volume!
bats :[
March 11th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

@wossname (#3): yes, he suggested it. I think. I’m pretty sure. Well, mostly sure — we spent two days at the Festival, wandering and listening and gawking and such…what I remember might be sketchy (but I know one of us mentioned a meetup at the Festival).
Now we can all look at Josh with squinty eyes as our combined powers of persuasion kick into high gear…
Amos Snarkadder
March 11th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Luann: So it seems Toni isn’t much for housekeeping. That mess didn’t happen overnight. I guess when she and Brad marry, TJ can be their live-in “maid.”
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

DtM — Dennis is now stealing gags from “Fibber Magee.”

FC — Mommy also gave Bil a note for his MISTRESS excusing him from their regular tryst last Wednesday and Sunday. (Yes, Daddy’s a two-timer!)
wossname
March 11th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

@bats :[ (#114): While it would be excellent to have a meetup that includes Josh (like mid-Atlanticon a couple years ago), there’s nothing to say that we can’t meet up (with Bob Weber Jr. and Pastis and whoever else you mentioned) without Josh. If Josh doesn’t want to go all the way to AZ, he could send Unca Lumpy as a surrogate.
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Luann (tomorrow): Hey Delta! Wanna make some babysitting cash?

Delta: (day after tomorrow) Hey Gunther! You’re good with kids, right?

Gunther (day after that): Hey Knute! I’ve got a job for you!
wossname
March 11th, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#117): Actually, as great as it would be to talk to the artists/writers we admire and/or enjoy, it would be even more interesting to get, let’s say, Moy & Giella and Shulock & Bolle to attend. We could finally confirm our suspicions that while they’re writing for their unironic fans, they’re also winking at us and feeding us snarkmeat. We might even find out if Bolle is really incapable of drawing legs and feet.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

@Amos Snarkadder (#115): like the houseboy in La Cage aux Folles?
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#57):

blue sex demon’s ass

Another good name for a band.
Baka Gaijin
March 11th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

@KreatureFeatures (#2): Too late. Her face froze like that in 1973. Elephant bells were the final straw.

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): Long form COTW contender!

@Lenoxus (#33): Jamaal mixes his metaphors in a Magic Bullet blender.

@TheDiva (#48) on Gil Thorp: I just about spit water all over my computer. Next time I’m in Turin I’m mentioning that fact./a
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

MT: One of the oh-so-many stupid apects of this story line is that Rusty didn’t in fact discover any real evidence that Rod and Catfish were actually cheating, did he? The scuba gear could easily be explained away by simply claiming that Rod and Catfish like to scuba dive, or even better, that Rod is considering expanding his franchise by developing a product line of spear-fishing equipment. Any tanks of big bass could be explained by saying that Rod caught them when exploring the lake just prior to the tournament, and as we all know, he’s the best bass fisherman out there. He was saving the bass for a photo shoot that would be part of a big advertising campaign showing what huge fish can be caught with his wonderful lures. So just what did Rusty photograph in the trailer that was so incriminating, or at least embarrassing? OK, maybe it was the wall of centerfolds from Playbass magazine.

A3G: So, just what did Greg ask Margo on top of the Empire State Building? “Hey Margo, do you like Greek food? I bet Ari would love to break in his new kitchen by cooking some up! I had to bring you up here to ask that, because if you said ‘no’, I was going to jump.”

JP: The “day” that Sam and Avery spent signing the contract, driving to the lodge, catching Old Hardy, and getting chased out of bed by the skunk stretched out for how many months? I’m asking because I really hope the Neddy-saddles-the-horse-but-doesn’t-tell-Abbey-where-the-money-is-going “day” stretches out twice that long. Without a wardrobe change, of course.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

@Doodle Bean (#83):

while Blondie is dressing like it’s 1977!

Like so?
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#123):

JP: The “day” that Sam and Avery spent signing the contract, driving to the lodge, catching Old Hardy, and getting chased out of bed by the skunk stretched out for how many months?

I guess that was more like two days, since they went to bed, but that story began in early May of 2012 and didn’t end until (I think) December.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

A3G: Some day, when the movie version of Apartment 3G is released, it will consist of nothing but “deleted scenes.”
Readers' Digest Condensed Shrug
March 11th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

@Liam (#167):

“This comic moves at such a lightning speed that they leave out major details.”

*******************

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. He loved Big Brother.”

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

“When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, “Well, I’m back,” he said.”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#99): Well, yes—it is National Nap Day, after all. (Lolly is marking the day appropriately.)
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

What’s this I hear about Dagwood being a REPUBLICAN?

http://kingfeatures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Dagwood-Elephant–487×360.jpg
Baka Gaijin
March 11th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#50): Interesting theory. Very innnnteresting.

@Casino LF (#74) on Judge Parker: Oh ha ha HA!

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#116) on Family Circus: Of course he has a mistress. Thel set them up after TJ’s birth. Her vagina ain’t going through that kind of stretching again.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

@Austria (#94): Luann: What I’m wondering is why the brother would leave Shannon with someone else if she’s puking everywhere

That part is believable.

I remember a few years back, when the youngest stepkid had just started pre-school, so of course was coming home sick every day. We’d just gone through a week of everyone in the house being sick, throwing up, etc. etc. On Friday, we dropped the youngest off with Weekend Dad for his visitation, only to get a call an hour later informing us that Weekend Dad felt a “tickle” in his throat, and didn’t feel up to the responsiblity of watching a sick child, so could he send him back over to us? Ah, the perks of being Weekend Dad.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

My Motto, as delivered by bourbonbabe, unbuckled.
Uncle Lumpy
March 11th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127):

“In the beginning, Amen.”
LP2004
March 11th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#133): Not surprisingly, Charles Schulz covered this subject decades ago: “Once upon a time they lived happily ever after. The end.” (Charlie Brown’s response to Lucy badgering him to read her a story).
Uncle Lumpy
March 11th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

@LP2004 (#134):

Charles Schulz did everything even before the Simpsons did everything.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#135): *wishes for a mashup of the Charlie Brown Christmas dance scene to the Harlem Shake music.*
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

LI: You’re going to make it after all!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#132): And a fine motto it is!
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127):

“Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and presently made a covenant of peace between the two contending parties. “
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Since people have enjoyed them so far, here’s another link to a Spider-Man story at Scans Daily, one that’s better than the comic strip. This time we take a look at Amazing Spider-Man #275, and see his spider sense actually working!!! O_O

http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/3672936.html
bats :[
March 11th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#47): it may only delay the inevitable, of course…
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#130): I’m sure you meant to say “PJ.” However, the idea of TJ from Luann being Thel’s oldest child (the son she gave up for adoption years ago) makes me SMILE.

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#131): “Weekend Dad” is also the latest offering from the Peacock Network (the one over in Milford).
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127):

“Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead. Yes.”

“You don’t know about me, without you have read a book by the name of ‘The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,’ but that ain’t no matter. I been there before.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

meanwhile, boobie touching . (sfw, honestly)
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#20): Congratulations on becoming DICK TRACY’S newest villain! I look forward to your horrible, grisly death! (I just hope the doggie survives.)

9CL-Looking at it now, after thinking about it, I guess that last letter is a “d.” On first reading, I read it as an “s,” and was wondering why Edda wanted Fleurrie to dress up as a sheep. (Of course, Edda might know something about Sven’s proclivities we don’t…)

A3G- Is this going to be the normal for this strip- jumping forward whenever anything important happens, so we can just see people discussing it? Not just Evan’s proposal (although I’m thinking that’s NOT what it actually was- it was all way too coy to be that), but the newly renovated Apt. 3G! We got no moment of the cast seeing it for the first time, checking out (I assume0 the new furniture, wallpaper, etc. Of course, I was really looking forward to it more for the war between Moy and Giella- seeing the characters wax rhapsodic about the great new colors, how wonderfully the place was decorated- while looking at blank white walls and an end table with a lamp on it

JP- Neddy’s not interested in a ride with Ned- or at least, not Ned alone. She wants Mike, too. She’s been living in Paris, you know.

RMMD- “Might” be pregnant? “MIGHT?” No weaseling out of this, guys- June’s a nurse. I think she would be checking to make certain before announcing it to anyone else. Don’t pull a McEldowney on us!

Pibgorn- I assume this means that either A)all outlets that carry Pibgorn also carry Pibgorn Sketches, and Brooke’s just not getting enough pageviews on the sketches site; or B)Brooke doesn’t care about readers who don’t have easy access to Sketches. I’m assuming B, since Brooke is above the common concerns of commerce. Of course, if you didn’t know about Sketches, you wouldn’t get that you are suppose to go there (I do know, and went there on a whim, wondering if that was what he meant). I am wondering how he’ll handle this in the collection, where it will make even less sense.

As for the actual content- um, Brooke? You’re drawing Pib here as she was in the past. The current Pib has long hair, and a differently-colored unitard. Did the mermaid travel into the past? Or into Pib’s mind? Of course, you seem to have forgotten the detail that this “flashback” was the result of a mind-meld of some sort, too. Oh, well- guess I’m just not “artistic’ enough to understand…

Oh, and Brooke? I don’t go the the “sketches” site because I don’t care about the process you use, and, frankly, I find your sketches to be fairly ugly. Your finished work can actually be quite nice, though.
bats :[
March 11th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

@Herr Kommissar Denny (#64): In jungles of Bangalla, Cheezburger eats YOU!
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#143): “Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins, and this is the only immortality you and I may share, my Lolita.”
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

A3G – “The Professsor has been cooking for days” really couldn’t be anything else but a code phrase for “the new batch of meth is finally ready.” The extra ‘s’ just confirms it.
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#136): Ask and ye shall receive-http://youtu.be/dH6pYB4GwpA
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#144): I prefer boobies without feet.
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#136): Working link-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH6pYB4GwpA

There are also a few other versions out there, but this appears to be the first.
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Daggnabbit! It worked in preview- one last try- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH6pYB4GwpA
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
March 11th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

@NuAnn (Y#165): It feels like borderline fetish material.

I think there’s no “borderline” about it.
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

There we go!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#149): that is EXACTLY what I was wanting.

thanks!
But What Do I Know?
March 11th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#148): We’ll know for sure if the Professor starts shaving his head and calling himself Heisenberg. . .
But What Do I Know?
March 11th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Lumpy (#78): Thanks for elucidating. We can only hope that the stable-guy’s son hits it big and comes back Heathcliff (not the cat) style to buyout Spencer farms. . .
TheDiva
March 11th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127):
Two households, both alike in Juliet and her Romeo.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune had been the means of uniting them.
LUJBEM FEJF
March 11th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#103): Let’s just say Tracy’s not getting me alive! (I’m not the Jumbler, The Jumbler was Paul) I will make a appearance soon though. As will Tracy in the Jumble. Very cool for the Jumble!
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#148) & @But What Do I Know? (#156): So that’s what the “acrid smell” emanating from Margo’s closet was! Evan was innocent!
sully
March 11th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

After a century in an office job, and still without a pot to piss in, it’s time Dagwood put Blondie’s money-maker out on the street. With that rack, they should be able to retire in no time.
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

All of you who are condensing literary classics are only half-right. Remember, this is A3G we’re talking about. A more apt comparison would be perhaps:
“Call me Ishmael. ‘Hey, Ishmael!!!‘”

More harpoons, mule.
LP2004
March 11th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#158): I was thinking of trying this with William Faulkner, but I’m worried the result would still be 500 words long.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

@Ratiocinator (#150): in other words, A3G?
The Ridger
March 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#57): Well, to be fair, we must remember that Sven quit at the exact moment Fleurrie (god, that name) fired him. So he’s already there.
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): “For a long time I used to go to bed early — between which so many days have ranged themselves — they stand like giants immersed in Time.”
Calico
March 11th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Blondie – I am surprised that the metaphors weren’t food-related.

MW – If someone jumped me like Mary, I’d be crabby too. Let them get settled already!
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#162): And Tommie only is escaped alone to tell thee.

(Tommie=Ishmael; Margo = Ahab; Lu Ann = Queequeg)
Calico
March 11th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#165):
Believe it or not, I used to work with someone named Fleury. Sounds Belgian, perhaps?
Government Cheese
March 11th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

Luann: Are we ever going to see this phantom brother of Toni’s? Or is it that Dirk is dropping off their lovechild with the Darth Vader helmet?

MW: Yup, this old lady is having none of it. I am looking forward to seeing the salmon squares fly at the dinner table.
Anonymous
March 11th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean -
“You’re doing that thing with your mouth again.”
“You know I have a condition.”
“Sorry.”
Mr Frog
March 11th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

DT: Dick Tracy will soon face his greatest adversary yet: word puzzles. Forty-eight restless hours and zero unscrambled clues from now, a bleary-eyed Tracy will glance upwards at the assassin sent to claim him. “Go ahead,” he’ll mumble; “Free me from this nightmare. Just tell me what the hell ‘THEMEAN’ is so I can die in peace.” Knowing his plan is perfect, Jumble Jeff removes the fake mustache and novelty glasses, leans back in his chair, and quietly smiles.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#48): FW: I get using humor to cope with tragedy and difficult times, I really do. But the dead-eyed, smirking way the characters in this strip deliver their bon mots speaks less of coping and more of callous indifference. Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

Poor Darin — his Bell’s Palsy facial paralysis comes across as smirking.
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

@Mr Frog (#172): Given Dick Tracy villains’ propensity to be named for their horrifying physical disabilities/mutations, I shudder to think of what Jumble Jeff would look like.
Mr Frog
March 11th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#159):

This was posted while I was composing my reply. To your assertion that you are not the mysterious mustache man, I reply: perhaps that is merely what you want us to think! That’s right, I’m on to your game, you duplicitous designer of deviously disordered documents! GWAHAHAHA — *cough*
TheDiva
March 11th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

@Government Cheese (#170): Toni’s brother did show up several months back, where he was established to be an aspiring actor who spends all his time pursuing his dreams of theatrical glory rather than getting a real job and taking care of his kid. (Because, you know, acting isn’t a real career, unless you’re Luann.) He had an undisclosed role in a local production of Les Miserables, and was deemed by the designated protagonists to have been thoroughly awful. These are the same people who gave a pass to “Hey Boy,” mind you, so I would take their assessment with a grain of salt.
Mr Frog
March 11th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

@Herr Kommissar Denny (#174):

Beneath a thin layer of makeup, Jeff’s face bears an unusual birthmark in the shape of a Jumble puzzle. In the event that he is cornered by police, he will get out a wet wipe and scrub off the makeup, distracting everyone long enough to escape. “I got it! The one on his chin is… no, never mind, there’s only one — wait, crap, where’d he go?”
LUJBEM FEJF
March 11th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

@Mr Frog (#175): I challenge you to a battle of wits. But you should know this first, “never get involved in a land war in Asia” -and “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Knurek being an old Sicilian name. You’ve been warned.
Baka Gaijin
March 11th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#142): No, I meant “TJ.” After being accustomed to melonheads, the grinning rictus of TJ scared Thel.

@sully (#161): As long as they get insurance against eye-poking-out.

@Government Cheese (#170) on Mary Worth: Styptic pencils and Mercurochrome all around! Those squares are pointy and sharp.
North American Comiccharacters-Dog Lovers Association (NACDL)
March 11th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@Mikey (#44):

“MT: Yes a clue! Hmm, nothing on here but nude photos of Cherry and Doc…”

Mark continues to muse: “Hmm, I didn’t even know Andy could be trained to do that…”
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@Herr Kommissar Denny (#147):
‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘may I speak frankly?’
‘Certainly, sir.’
I nodded moodily and speared another slab of omelette.
‘Right ho, Jeeves.’
‘Very good, sir.’

// Too long?
Looney Shrugs and Phantom Melodies
March 11th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

@Hogenmogen (#47):

“It’s Phantom season!”

“It’s henchman season!”

(later)

BOOM!

“You’re descipicable!”
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

Luann: Toni Daytona was introduced into the strip a few years ago as an unobtainable sexpot/centerfold. Through general intereaction with the DeGroots, now she’s reduced to harried mom with a messy kitchen. Look into the mirror, Ton. Leave the brat to Brad-the-doormat and TJ-the-douche. Go. Don’t come back. Don’t even leave a note. Just skip town, girl. Reclaim the future that you should have had, while it is still within your grasp!
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

A3G-”Just like I hope to love you in the style of our Greek ancestors of old.”

Gil Thorp-These are the most easily addictive kids. First it was tattoos now it’s a peacock.

MW-”Beth, I’m scared of this woman. I think she has something sinister in mind for us.”

Mother Goose and Grimm-Grimm, you should kill the cat before you cook it or else the cat’s scream as it’s on fire will haunt your dreams.

MT-”Nope. Just something about Colonel Mustard in the library with the lead pipe.”
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
March 11th, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#145): Actually, this isn’t Pib; this is the succubus Drusilla. Granted, she’s normally red-toned and has long hair (why she doesn’t in this storyline hasn’t been explained; since she resembles her daughter I’m assuming that this is the larval form of a succubus, but, as said, of course McE hasn’t bothered to clarify that) so the confusion is understandable.

For such a wordy guy, McE is surprisingly shitty at providing context and backstory.

(There’s another rant to be had about the way the fairy creatures are colored so that they’re somehow simultaneously naked and clothed – I remember McE dodging that question entirely with some blather about “dapples” – but I’ll save that for later.)
Mr Frog
March 11th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#178):
I challenge you to a battle of wits.
I know not what eldritch forces I here invoke, but… challenge accepted.
smileyy
March 11th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Am I the only one who read Herb & Jamaal as Jamaal referring to his previously magnificent reproductive organs — his “grapefruits and kielbasa” as having withered with age into “prunes and all-bran”? (Though I don’t want to contemplate what an all-bran penis metaphor is)
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#141): A BETTER IDEA:

White henchman: I’ve got a better idea!

Black henchman: Better make it fast, before the narration box comes up again.

White henchman: Let’s put a lock on the cage and wait some more.

Black henchman: Lock? Wasn’t there a …

Phantom: There WAS.

Door opens

Narration box: Tomorrow: “!?”

Black henchman: Do we need a narration box for “!?”
Écureuil Écumant
March 11th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

RMMD & Sally Forth: June and Jackie are both pregnant …

… Clearly the work of Reeky Rat!
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#185): Yeah, you’re right- I actually know that, just confused the names. Still, the point is valid- how is the mermaid talking with younger Dru (and, for that matter, why? Her question would be more pertinent to present-day Dru, since younger Dru hasn’t broken the Djinn’s heart yet (or, rather, would not have yet) (I hate time travel grammer).
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#181): Not at all too long; that one was quite delightful!

Some moar:

“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

“It was love at first sight, missing him by inches, and he took off.”

“Someone must have slandered Joseph K., it was as if the shame of it must outlive him.”

@Hogenmogen (#188): The next day’s strip…

White and Black Henchmen: !?

Phantom: !

Cheezburger: !!!

White and Black Henchmen: !?!?!–

Narration Box: …
bbofun
March 11th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

And I misspelled grammar. I need a siesta.
Dennis Jimenez
March 11th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#181): ‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘may I speak frankly?’
I have a dick the size of a Vienna sausage….
Écureuil Écumant
March 11th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Zits: Well, we don’t carry the antidote, exactly, but if I might direct your attention to the opposite wall and our complete line of rolling papers…
Marc
March 11th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Toni has been too busy helping Ari cook meth to find the time to clean up.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#189): Not Fertile Ferret? Hunh.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#196): Or Priapic Possum?
Écureuil Écumant
March 11th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

“This comic moves at such a lightning speed that they leave out major details.”

Reminds me of a UFO report from a missile base during the ’50s that my Dad brought home and read to me:

“The UFO was obviously quite a distance away, because despite its fantastic speed it appeared to be standing perfectly still.”
Écureuil Écumant
March 11th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#197): Could’ve possibly been Boner Bonobo…
Colorfully Leering Shrug
March 11th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#185):

“There’s another rant to be had about the way the fairy creatures are colored so that they’re somehow simultaneously naked and clothed.”

See also Girl One from Alan Moore’s TOP 10 comics:

http://tinyurl.com/aoezogt
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#189), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#196), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#197) & @Écureuil Écumant (#199): You’re all wrong. It was Dick Track villain Raging Hardon.
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#130): Vagina Stretching? Isn’t that the new Bond villainess?
Jasper
March 11th, 2013 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

@sully (#161):
And Cookie could bring in a pretty good coin too.
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#185): No kidding. I’d honestly respect the guy more if they were just straight-up no-bullshit naked.

I mean, goComics already runs his strips with space robots with giant metal penises and penis-head djinn and Photoshop light-sploogery, I can’t imagine they’d have a problem with proper vag and nipples…
Here Come the Judge
March 11th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

“I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen Chip’s eyes?”

Actually, if we go by the artwork, it’s the first time we’ve seen his enormous, double-pupiled eye.
But What Do I Know?
March 11th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God it is cold in the scriptorium, my thumb aches. I leave this manuscript, I do not know for whom; I no longer know what it is about: stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.
Alison
March 11th, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#176): I didn’t know Toni’s evil brother was an aspiring actor. Interesting, since evil Tiffany is also an aspiring actor.

Why can’t Toni ever look after her own niece by herself? It’s always, “Brad, go take Shannon to the mall. Luann, come over and feed Shannon ice cream. Brad, let’s go with Shannon to see Santa”, blah blah blah. Lazy Toni! And she doesn’t even have a real reason not to look after Shannon today. Since when is “I just got home from the gym” an excuse not to babysit? I don’t know why Luann rushed over as if the house was on fire.
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

@smileyy (#187): “Am I the only one…”

Yes.

// I have decided to henceforth answer all comments starting ‘Am I the only one’ with the affirmative. It makes the commenter feel special, and is probably true anyway.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
March 11th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#190): The only way it kinda-sorta-not-really makes sense is if the “young Dru” is really just a dream version of adult Dru; however, I’ve learned that even if there’s a way to make the thing make sense, McE has a knack for either undermining it or ignoring it entirely.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#204):

I think it is a ‘Tales of Ribaldry’ situation, where just drawing them nekkid would take all the fun out of it for him. Much more fun to give a character a penis for a head and then snicker at all the beefwits out there who don’t understand the subtle innuendo.

@Alison (#207):

Other aspring actors in the strip include Quill and Luann. Just last week, we learned how wonderful it is that Quill’s parents support him in his ambition to work in the performing arts, for example by paying for him to fly to San Diego to attend a camp. So it is another case where the only difference between Toni’s brother (an actual working actor who is treated as a dissolute dreamer who will never be a real father) and Quill (no professional credits, although he has enough videos on youtube to make his relative talent level obvious) is that we are told that one of them is Good and the other is Evil.
sully
March 11th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

@Jasper (#203): Yes, Jasper, good call! Nothing like some Cookies ‘n cream!
Chip Whittle
March 11th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Do you suppose that, on those long stretches between Mark Trail’s cancellations of fishing trips, Rusty sometimes goes out and kidnaps himself just to stay in proper form?
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

@Colorfully Leering Shrug (#200): “… she is actually naked at all times (not due to immodesty but simply for the sake of comfort).”

Wonderful! I’m so glad she’s not naked at all times due to immodesty. That could lead to impudicity, and possibly concupiscence.
bats :[
March 11th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

How did we miss THIS? (and if someone already mentioned it, I’ll give you full credit!)
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

FW: Oh yeah, thanks for asking about his my father. And my way of thanking you for your concern is to make you feel like a little shit. Maybe I’ll just stare angrily at the screen for a while to make you squirm, you sack of puss.
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

@Jasper (#203): I’d like to see Dagwood and Herb doing a Midnight Cowboy thing… Dag’s lower-leg deformities make him perfect for the “Ratso” Rizzo role.
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#210): A-yup. Tee-hee, tee-hee-hee, tee-heeRETCH.

@Borborygmy (#213): Heaven forfend!
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#210): Toni’s brother was in a play, but it was awful. Tiffany was in a movie, but it was awful. Don’t you see the obvious differences between Good and Evil?

Evil actors find paying gigs.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
March 11th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#212): Do you suppose that, on those long stretches between Mark Trail’s cancellations of fishing trips, Rusty sometimes goes out and kidnaps himself?

He has tried, but never been able to step out for long enough without actually being kidnapped.

There was the time he stepped out of the van and his belt buckle was immediately caught by the bumper of a passing car. The driver decided to kidnap him in order to avoid prosecution for hit-and-run.

Then there was the time he pulled over in a parking lot, stepped out with a length of rope and a rifle, only to be scooped up by gang members who thought he was a hit man hired to kill them. They soon learned otherwise, but decided to kidnap him so that he wouldn’t tell the authorities about what had happened.

Then there was the incident where he was kidnapped AT the one-hour photo place, despite the fact that it had been closed for over a decade. But, that is a story for another time….
Hogenmogen
March 11th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

Quill is the best actor in the Luann crowd. He pretended that he liked Luann with a straight face (and no wretching) for two years now.
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

A3G-So what was Margo’s answer to Greg’s question. Obviously it was a good answer because Greg didn’t throw himself off the Empire State Building.
Herr Kommissar Denny
March 11th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#219):

But, that is a story for another time….

Third cup of coffee in an hour has me free associating:

Hither came Rusty, the Cretin, black-eyed, gat-toothed, Minolta STL 101 in hand, a freak, a monster, a mutant, with gigantic head and tiny hands, to tread the jagged stones of the Lost Forest under his web-toed feet.
ralph
March 11th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft, Sunday: That is a seriously old tree for no bigger than it is.
9CL: I may have to revise my previous comments about the hotness of the idiot vet. Who dresses like they’re going bar hopping to check cows, and then dresses like a grade school teacher (from, say, the 80s) for a date? And for the luvagod, who is Edda to give sartorical advice?
Jim in Wisc.
March 11th, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Retail: I figured out the MSRP scam when I was about 11 or 12. When I told my dad, he just laughed and said I was smarter than most of the adults.

Dope Trail: It took our “hero” how long to think to look at the pictures on the camera? What a dim bulb.

Crankie: Save the tree. Chop down Crankie, instead.

Dr. Entitled Jerk Morgan: Based on the last panel on Sunday, I can see where this is going. Milton’s going to croak. And Heather, who had been flaunting their wealth all last week, is going to discover that Milton left her with nothing because he had their entire life leveraged to the hilt.
Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
March 11th, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#y160):

“We can see the last time this Mark Trail strip was updated by how long it takes to see the pictures. If it’s a week waiting at the drug store, 1962.”

Especially if they come back as Black & White prints!
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

@Colorfully Leering Shrug (#200): Yeah, I remember her SPOILER funeral, when the billionaire tech boys who created her showed up to brag. Those guys were mad creepy, yo.
Majicou
March 11th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

@ralph (#223): [9CL] Or a grade-school student from the 80s, if you went to a Catholic school. Her outfit only differs from the girls’ uniforms at my Catholic elementary school in that the jumper isn’t plaid.
Droopy Says
March 11th, 2013 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

@Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#225): You’d think a rich and famous outdoors writer like Mark Trail could afford to give Rusty a Polaroid camera.
Dale
March 11th, 2013 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

@Borborygmy (#208):

See if you can get a research grant or run an unscientific survey with fake honorariums.

In the reference case, “Yes” looks correct.

I would bet some fake valuables that in most cases the correct answer is, “No. It wasn’t worth mentioning.”
Zerowolf
March 11th, 2013 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#y79): Pair her up with Elinor and have them head over to Mary’s for a little conversation concerning the use of heavy, blunt kitchen utensils.
Zerowolf
March 11th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

@ralph (#223): Edda is creature of pure art, a muse personified, but most of all she channels her creator’s ~~inner artistic soul~~ pretentious jackwad asshattery.
Fred Barney
March 11th, 2013 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

@Dono (#54): Has Kingpin incorporated his operations? Is Kingpin, Inc. a public corporation? Can I pick up a few shares for my 401K? I’ll bet the prospectus is an interesting read. Do you even know what “corporate” means?
Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
March 11th, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

FW: Darin is a total dick. That is all.
bats :[
March 11th, 2013 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#214): (I am so embarrassed. I did this a few weeks back, when Kit was nursing Lioness #4 back to quasi-health after removing the electronic device from her neck. Yes. I had a Keane moment…)
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#214): Hah! I bet that sounds great in the Bandar tongue!
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#176): I’ve done a little acting myself, so I’m the last person to say acting isn’t a real career. However, you might as well classify any job that doesn’t pay the bills as a HOBBY. (Much like the time I spend here posting comments!)
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#159): (I’m not the Jumbler, The Jumbler was Paul)

No, silly! The Walrus was Paul!
Mr Frog
March 11th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

H+L: I came up with a hilariously-edgy zinger about how Chip’s wide eyes and tiny pupils clearly indicate that he’s fucked out of his mind on some mind-blowing illegal stimulant(s), but then I realised that (a) this is the Flagston household, and (b) self-evidently factual statements aren’t funny. So, uh… whaddaya reckon’s in Lois’s “tea”cup, there? Will it dampen her naked contempt for her idiot son, or finally stoke it into the killing rage she’s too numbed to achieve without chemical assistance? Stay tuned!
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

@smileyy (#187): Stephen Bentley’s biography of Jamaal (“Jammin’ with Jamaal!”) documents the latter’s evolution from stud muffin to All-Bran muffin.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

@Jim in Wisc. (#224): Crankie: Save the tree. Chop down Crankie, instead.

Woodsman, spare that tree,
Touch not a single bough,
For in my youth it sheltered me,
And I’ll protect it now.
But if you must chop something down,
Take Ed Crankshaft, that surly clown.
commodorejohn
March 11th, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

@Fred Barney (#232): You know, the daily travails of Kingpin, Inc. would make for thrilling reading, at least by newspaper Spider-Man standards.
Government Cheese
March 11th, 2013 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#176): Hmm really? I definitely missed that plotline. I wonder if in a new plotline, he’ll bring a drunk Lindsay Lohan into the Toni’s place, where further hijinks will ensue.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

To reiterate:

Actors Alex Kingston and John Barrowman both celebrate birthdays on March 11 (“Doctor Who” and “Arrow”). Today is also Johnny Appleseed Day (an obvious “Crankshaft” tie-in) as well as the 195th anniversary of the first publication of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (ditto for Monday’s “Scary Gary”).

And how was YOUR day?
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

A couple more radically condensed books:

On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge. That might be the subject of a new story, but our present story is ended.

…

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger…a Man on the Move, and just sick enough to be totally confident.
LUJBEM FEJF
March 11th, 2013 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#237): No, you mean the SLAWRU was LAPU!
Mikey
March 11th, 2013 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

@The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#90): Rusty’s going to starve to death before this is all over. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

I’m adding this quote from TRVPd to a Hot Key. It’ll never come to pass since this is a comic but it sure should.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 11th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#243): I’ve loved Kingston ever since ER, even though her part on that was haphazardly written. She’s really a treat in her Doctor Who role. Barrowman aka Captain Jack is pretty cool too, I guess.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#245): Rats! Hornswaggled again!
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#245): No, the SLAWRU was YALLW:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Toryf9CnEMs/TVBwxM4oWjI/AAAAAAAAAbY/pEF7pGDcT4I/s1600/b.jpg
Mikey
March 11th, 2013 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

@Mikey (#246): Should have mentioned that it contains two of my favorite things: Seinfeld reference and Rusty starving to death…. (It was supposed to be the Summer of Rusty!)
Liam
March 11th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

MT-”Nope. No clues as to what happened to Rusty. Just a lot of pictures of a guy on a grassy knoll shooting at someone in a convertible.”
gojira
March 11th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): OK, as long as we’re A3G’ing the classics:

“Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. In the first case it was necessary to renounce the consciousness of an unreal immobility in space and to recognize a motion we did not feel; in the present case it is similarly necessary to renounce a freedom that does not exist, and to recognize a dependence of which we are not conscious.

Take that, Classics Illustrated!
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

@LUJBEM FEJF (#245): NURT EM NO, EDDA NAM!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

ooo! ooo! ooo!

I want to play!

“There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold . . .
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.”

hrm.

I’ll come in again. . . .
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

“A modern-day warrior . . .He gets right on to the friction of the day.”

OOOer!
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#164): Heh, yes, Margo-boobies are nice.

But to rephrase: I prefer boobies without feet of their own, also without feathers, beaks, or wings, and with the kind of nipples not typically found on species of birds native to the Galapagos Islands.

I mean, call me old-fashioned if you want, but that is my favourite type of booby.
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

@Borborygmy (#208): Am I the only one answering all comments starting ‘Am I the only one’ with the affirmative?
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

@Ratiocinator (#256): So, what’s your opinion regarding great tits?
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

What are we playing? Condense the book?

How ’bout…

Heathcliff, smeathcliff.

/No, not the damn cat.
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#257): Yes! Yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#258): It’s a passerine sort of bird – take ‘em or leave ‘em.
Sgt. Stoned
March 11th, 2013 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

MT: “Here’s a picture of Mr. Catish holding a big knife. Ha-ha. I wonder what that’s all about?”
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!”
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

@Ratiocinator (#256): So….
if you entered a contest you would be satisfied with the booby prize?
Peanut Gallery
March 11th, 2013 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

@Borborygmy (#260): Well, you can’t say fairer than that, then.
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): “3.141592653589793…”

Damn, I never can remember just how that one ends.
Mibbitmaker
March 11th, 2013 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

It’s taken all day to get it all together, but I started a new webcomic! It’s called “Michelle’s Universe Scrapbook” –
http://MichellesUniverseScrapbook.thecomicseries.com
– about the Michelle character, but from a different universe from the Pop Culture’s Kids one. She’s actually MY age there, though we see more of her 1962(birth)-2001 life, just the period covered in my unpublished graphic novel of her (fictional) life.

Which is about as coincidental as Mary Worth living in apt. 1A!

Okay, I’m long overdue in seeing what malarkey Brooke McEldowney is up to today……
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#263): That’s very good! And, yet, I cannot accept an abridgment of the Christmas Carol without Scrooge’s great rant: “Are there no prisons? Are there no whorehouses?”

// Or was that “poorhouses”? Never mind. We’ll go with yours.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#266): Don’t ask me. I could never finish it either.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#264): the booby prize at Amateur Night isn’t so bad. . . .
Girl Reporter
March 11th, 2013 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): It’s catch-and-release. I hope the kidnappers remembered to wet their hands first.
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#265): Well, you can’t say fairer than that, then.

That’s the problem, Doctor, I can’t pronounce my F’s, T’s and H’s!
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#258): It depends whether or not they’re nesting in their namesake. But even then, I’d be more interested in their nesting place than in the birds. (As for animals doing this, there is precedent. With apologies to queek for posting that first.)

@Sequitur (#264): Better than nothing!
Victory Garden
March 11th, 2013 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

9CL: What kind of a name is “Fleurrie”? I know, Frenchyfied but WHY THOUGH

Why not just Fleur? Did JK Rowling copyright it?
Mibbitmaker
March 11th, 2013 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

The mother of all oversnarpologies (I’ll glance the comments soon)….

9CL: Edda’s a sheep (in deference to TrueFable, I didn’t say “goat”) (actually, Edda and sheep go together quite well, analogy-wise. anyway)

FW: “You can’t hate me for my snidely dour jerkinesss, my dad had a stroke! Nyah-nyah, grave-filler!”

MT: “Maybe it holds a clue… and I‘m holding it. — hey, what if it is holding me? Oh, woaow, maaaan…..”

MW: The old bag is easily tired of Mary. Join the very huge club!

Glibporn: Even Brooke is getting tired of Brooke’s schtick. Good!
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Mickey Mouse — This strip from the 1930s/1940s makes fun of “modern” art (probably one of the first to do so):

http://www.creators.com/comics/mickey-mouse.html

Bonus: A Beagle Boy prototype makes his appearance!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
March 11th, 2013 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

@Borborygmy (#260): Oh man, no matter what the context, still one of the sexiest, greatest passages in all of literature.

What does it say that one of my other favorite last lines is “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

(And kudos to all of you condensers; you have mad abridger skilz!)
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#276): Are you sure this was a 1930s/1940s strip? Mickey looks more nearly like a 1970s version than the Floyd G0ttfredson style mouse.
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

@Readers’ Digest Condensed Shrug (#127): “Aujourd’hui, maman est morte. Carrés de saumon maudits.” – Albert Camus
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#274): Perhaps “fleurrie” is Brooke’s fancy spelling for “flurry.” To wit: snow flurry — a light brief snowfall and gust of wind (or something resembling that) [from the Free Online Dictionary]

Considering how talkative Brooke’s characters are, a “gust of wind” sounds about right.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#280): only a beefwit would read that as a fart joke. . . .
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#274): I suspect it is a familiar form of “Fleur” (cf. the character in The Forsyte Sage). For instance, I think my grandmother’s given name was maybe “Florence”, but I never heard anyone’s calling her anything other than “Florrie”.
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#276): Mickey got the knockoff.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#278): I’m not 100% sure. However, I have a fairly large collection of “Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories” dating back to WW2, and it looks exactly like the newspaper MM strips they used to reprint.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#283): ” I don’t want no dissension Just dynamic tension”
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#280): I have no problem with the name “Fleurie”. Fleur is French for “flower”, of course, so Fleurie is Franglais for “flowery” or “flower-like”. Nothing too weird about that — kind of pretty, really. Parents inflict far worse on their offspring every day.
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#282): Er, Forsyte Saga, not Sage. On the contrary, Soames exercised rather questionable wisdom rather often, I’d say.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#283): Frankly, I don’t blame the guy in the foreground for thumbing his nose at the other guy (the one with the bum in his face).
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#286): That’s what I originally thought too, but when I used Google Translate, it turned out that it wasn’t a real French word. “Fleur” is, but not “Fleurrie”.
Borborygmy
March 11th, 2013 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

@Dennis Jimenez (#193): ‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘may I speak frankly? I have a dick the size of a Vienna sausage…’

‘Thank you, sir. I had feared the wurst.”
Baka Gaijin
March 11th, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

@Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#225): Indeed.

@commodorejohn (#241): Agreed.

@Nehemiah Scudder (#244): See, if they had books like this when I was in school, I’d have enjoyed English class.

@Sequitur (#264): If it were the winner of the wet t-shirt contest, yes.
Nehemiah Scudder
March 11th, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

@Ratiocinator (#289): … and that’s why I said “Franglais” rather than “French”.
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#288): Yeah. “Twister” was played a bit different then.
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#281): Only a beefwit would think “Little Toot” was about a flatulent tugboat.
Ratiocinator
March 11th, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#292): Oh okay, missed that at first.

And yeah, there are worse names, I guess.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
March 11th, 2013 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#294): for further info on “The Little Engine That Could”, see H&J at the top of the page.
Sequitur
March 11th, 2013 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#296): Did you mean “engine” or “enema?”
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#284): These are the “classic” 1930s and 1940s daily Mickey Mouse strips by Floyd Gottfredson. Mickey’s snout is more stretched out than in the 1970s version. (The 1970s style is also curved upwards rather sharply, thereby bringing his nose even closer to his head. I suspect this was related to the shrinking space devoted to the comic strips then compared to 30 or 40 years earlier.) The Mickey in the strip with the “modern art” seems to be the Manuel Gonzales style of mouse.
Calico
March 11th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

@Zerowolf (#230):
*Claaang* x 2
Rocky Stoneaxe
March 11th, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#297): Jamaal is a roofie, wrapped in a burrito, inside an enema.
seismic-2
March 11th, 2013 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#274): Today’s WaPo obituary column shows that people’s given names can be altered into all sorts of interesting variants, including some that are of special relevance herein.
Droopy Says
March 11th, 2013 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

Spiderbland: Anywhere else, the conversation would touch on “Okay, why do you think Spiderman is a threat?” Here, the conversation should say “Hey, doesn’t this remind you of a scene in various James Bond movies?”

Funky’s Flunkies: Darrin is just practicing for his new job on the Westview Suicide Assistance Hotline.

Family Circus: “Yes, Dolly, you wanted to see if the ice on the pond is still thick enough for ice-skating. You asked Billy and Jeffy to check but they didn’t come home, remember?”

Mock Travail:You know, that’s probably the only laptop that’s never had any porn loaded into its punchcard reader.

Phantom: I can’t remember the last time I saw anythingas stupid as these two villains–no, wait, I remember, and it’s why I resolved not to look at Luann his year.

Pluggers: Pluggers think it’s brilliant to find work-arounds for their illiteracy.

Shoe: Sigmind Fraud? Somebody has highly revealing issues with the concept of therapy, eh, Brookins?
Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
March 11th, 2013 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

Rex: So three in the pink…how does that go again?
seismic-2
March 12th, 2013 at 12:04 am [Reply]

JP: The third panel will be reprinted every month, as the strip’s mission statement.
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Yes, Lt. Fuzz, Sarge trained Otto a better way to get even than biting you in the butt; it’s called doggy style.

// Yes, I went there. Lt. Fuzz is going to get mounted by the dog.

Missing Family Circus response: “Yes, Dolly, you wanted to go outside to poop. Remember to bury it when you’re done squatting.”

I didn’t need to see Leroy Lockhorn dry humping the windowsill this morning. Did. Not. Need.
Baka Gaijin
March 12th, 2013 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Over in the Safeway, Toni Daytona’s ego deflates 3 sizes when she learns she’s not every man’s wet dream. Also, Dirk looks so lame with that baby harness.

OK Marvin’s Mom. You have enough diapers to last until, what, April Fool’s Day?

Alternative Marvin comment: When you know your toddler isn’t going to grow in size for the next few years, you can buy 50 packs of diapers for him.

“The mother seems a bit scary.” Understatement of the year, Toby.

One question on Sally Forth: Whose “Keefe?”
Mr. O’Malley
March 12th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. When I got better I realized what a rat he was, but then I had to understand the impossible complexity of his life, how he had to leave me there, sick, to get on with his wives and woes. “Okay, old Dean, I’ll say nothing.”

Of Man’s first disobedience and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the world and all our woe,
They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,
Through Eden took their solitary way.
Victory Garden
March 12th, 2013 at 1:25 am [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#301): Whew boy. If my name were “Modeste,” I think I’d go by Mudge too. Or Fleurrie, even better.

Thank God it’s only “Bashfule.”
seismic-2
March 12th, 2013 at 1:34 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#306): One question on Sally Forth: Whose “Keefe?”

Maybe Jim Keefe? He’s a freelance artist who sometimes does jobs for King Syndicate (for whom he worked in the late 1990s as the artist and writer for Flash Gordon). He could be filling in for regular S4th artist Craig MacIntosh.
seismic-2
March 12th, 2013 at 1:43 am [Reply]

GT: “Pat the pig”??? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Droopy Says
March 12th, 2013 at 1:56 am [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#308): Or best of all, Mussorgsky:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCEDfZgDPS8
Vanya
March 12th, 2013 at 5:07 am [Reply]

@Ratiocinator (#289): I wonder if this Brooke’s quirky attempt to inject some “realism” into the strip? There are a lot of people of Quebec descent in New Hampshire after all. This being Brooke he naturally got it kind of wrong.
teenchy
March 12th, 2013 at 6:02 am [Reply]

3/12 Luann: Toni’s ex Dirk apparently has fathered a child with Carol Channing.
gleeb
March 12th, 2013 at 6:06 am [Reply]

‘shaft: The attempted whitewashing of Ed continues. Nice try, Batiuk, but I already know he’s an untamed force of nature, destroying all in his path, like a tornado. Anyway, this is a bad strip as it begins and ends in a lame open-ended sepia-toned flashback device. What happens to the person who missed yesterday’s paper?

‘bean: The magic of modern technology allows Mopey Pete to project the full force of his mopiness halfway across a continent.

Dick: First Lubjem Fjef, now Horace Broon. There’s a mole in Comics Curmudgeonland!

Thorp: Peacock VS Pig! Which idol is more powerful?

Mary: Toby, if you don’t want to go because you’re afraid of the new old woman, don’t tell scary Mary about it before bringing out an excuse.
Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
March 12th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Amazingly Silly Spiderman: Ok, You’re Julie, (Julie?) working for the Kingpin. You decide that He’s going to use you like toilet paper to get superheroes. You don’t want to be used like toilet paper. Do you:
A) Slink off when Kingpin next has to feed his maw, or
B) Take your your .45 and empty it into his big fat head, or
C) wave the pistol around while telling him you’re leaving, without really threatening him, and allowing him to taser you with his nifty cane, and then juggle you in the air while your compatriots make light of your demise.

Why do they always pick C ?
Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
March 12th, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

Luann: Oh look, Dirk’s hooked up with some trailer-trash and sired a brat. How is this relevant? Is Toni going to now want a baby?

Bigporn: There is no story anymore. Just girly pictures.

9CL: Why stop at under 3 ounces? Just surprise Sven naked in the barn and fuck him.
Leonard
March 12th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Blondie – Blondie could have stayed as rich as the Spencers and Morgans… opps.
Vince M
March 12th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#308): I had a school friend named Modesto – he went by ‘Moe’. Having a Stooge name stood him in good stead – he certainly got less flak than his brother Jesus (who went by ‘Jess’.)
Margo
March 12th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Chip: “Darn that Daylight Savings. I barely have time to for my ritual self-induced vomiting this morning.”
Casino LF
March 13th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

@Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#86): I remember my schoolteachers wearing them in the 80s and early 90s, and that’s the last I’ve seen of them. I’ve tried to block out the time I went to the Laura Ashley store at Birch Run.

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