The Comics Curmudgeon

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Sex, drugs, etc.

Crock, 8/25/08

The joke in this comic almost makes sense, but not quite. I suppose that the gag is supposed to be that anyone who could spend two hours talking on any subject must be “really smart”? Even though he’s just spouting lies or ignorance? Anyway, after I finally got my head around what the dialog was supposed to mean, I realized that the little boy is talking to a vulture, what the hell. The terrible carrion-eater is probably just going to lull the kid into complacency with his banter before pecking out his eyes.

B.C., 8/25/08

I wonder how Johnny Hart would feel about the strip he created featuring fewer incomprehensible jokes about Jesus and more goofy jokes about the munchies. I’m feeling pretty good about it, myself.

Phantom, 8/25/08

I managed to avoid the just concluded Phantom story pretty effectively, but now at last we’re getting to what the kids like: red-hot Phantom-on-Mrs.-Phantom-on-private-island action! Careful, O naked heroes, those palm fronds look itchy.

Update: I appear to have been nominated to appear in some sort of hot blogger calendar (page may take a moment to load), as has Ces Marciuliano of Sally Forth fame (yes, he has a blog, too). Anyway, you should vote for one or both of us, if you want to see us pose in our underwear in a calendar or something. Thanks to faithful reader Bookworm for the tip!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 25, 2008 at 02:41 am and is filed under B.C., Crock, Phantom. |

226 responses to “Sex, drugs, etc.”

Art Vandelay
August 25th, 2008 at 2:55 am [Reply]

So Anthony kept his last name, that’s a surprise. I was sure he’d become Anthony Patterson. I guess he’s not worthy of being a Patterson, since he didn’t keep his “promise” last time.
rainbird
August 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

josh, neither Ces or you are listed on the hot bogger page. Oh poo. And here I was looking forward to trying to decide between you two.
Desert Ghost
August 25th, 2008 at 3:22 am [Reply]

“Josh and Ces: Hot Comics Bloggers Naked – Month by Month -2009 Calender” Available exclusively at Enormushop.com/HotBloggers/porn/biggestdick

Yeah, I would totally buy a calendar if I could see Josh & Ces naked! Rooowwwr!
Josh
August 25th, 2008 at 3:36 am [Reply]

#2 Rainbird — you have to scroll to the bottom of the list (obviously it is not in order of hotness).

Josh
Clare
August 25th, 2008 at 3:37 am [Reply]

Josh is in the lead by far right now. He has my vote for hot blogger!
lovetoykilljoy
August 25th, 2008 at 3:40 am [Reply]

My dad just explained the facts of life to me and thus I’m trying to put the moves on a cactus.
Black Drazon
August 25th, 2008 at 4:36 am [Reply]

I can only imagine what’s going through that poor vulture’s mind, assuming it can understand speech at all. While some might lean towards “Oh God, oh God, this is so awkward, what do I say? Do I tell the kid the truth in spite of his blood-relatives wish to conceal it through an age-old fable or do I do I just let it pass?”, I myself imagine his eyes just glazed over and his brain went “Storks? Storks are DELICIOUS.”
KT
August 25th, 2008 at 4:48 am [Reply]

Wait a sec, the vulture is SITTING on that cactus. OW!
LouieLouie
August 25th, 2008 at 4:55 am [Reply]

I had a different take on the “joke” in Crock. I thought that, despite spending two hours talking, the father still hadn’t told him anything about sex. He still believes that babies come from storks.
Filthy Assistant
August 25th, 2008 at 5:08 am [Reply]

That fuck Perez Hilton has zero votes, proving that this is in fact a just universe. Also CC is in the lead by an enormous margin which is incredibly funny.
Frank Parsnip
August 25th, 2008 at 5:14 am [Reply]

A3G: What!?! A telephoned proposal? Now, Margo is not going to feel half as bad about those rugburns from Jack Davis’ shag carpeting.

MT: Moss remembers rock positions in the extensive mountains and valleys, probably as landmarks for getting home. On one hand, he might have found Cherry and Kelly… and on the other hand, this subtle change in rock positions may leave them wandering the valley for weeks.

MW: Sure, it’s nice seeing Toby check her messages, send emails and look for documentaries, but do I really have to go to one of those websites where they tell you what day she’s finally going to start taking a shower? Following Parsnip’s Law, the fact that I’ve thought of it means it’s out there somewhere on the internet.

Going back a couple of days to Saturday’s rear-view mirror as she dropped Prof. Chinstrap off at the airport, I still can’t get over her rearview mirror. (“Objects in this mirror may be far larger than they appear.”)

GT: After a 20-year baseball career of flukey hits, errors, walks, struck-by-pitches and acts of God that allow him on the base, “Lucky” Vargas will finally get into the majors.

Foob: Kaff! Wheeeeeez! OK, if I can just get my head up out of this bucket to post about today’s Foob… oh, damn, here it goes again..

Jugs Parker: Detective Heidi Roberts, in her patent-pending black-rubber Desert Investigation Suit questioning Sam. Just don’t look too closely if you see her using a straw to rehydrate.

Sex Organ, M.D.: Too old to sail? Holy crap, they must be old.

DT: Dick, DO NOT turn her over to Joe Stalin.
Captain Thunder
August 25th, 2008 at 5:28 am [Reply]

NEWSFLASH: Readers across America find B.C. mildly amusing, flock to churches for fear of incipient Apocalypse.

Film at eleven.
lynngineering
August 25th, 2008 at 5:30 am [Reply]

FBOFW: That’s it?
Talk about giving up without a fight – the apex of the whole reason for this strip’s existence since the overall Liz-lobotomy subplot, that rivalled and eventually pushed Michael and family off the first page, and of course April 4evah… gets summed up by Sunday and Monday’s homage to clip-art?

LynnCo must have laid off a few of the better “artists” and hired temps to re-use previous work. And that expresses the whole point of Lynn’s post-Rod psyche at work. It’s been Original Lynn vs Classic Lynn vs LynnCo for some time now.

Those occasional really nicely drawn, worked-up consideration of FBOFW scenes, with some lighting, semi-interesting gestures that actually extend from the spine to the tips of the fingers, etc.. she seems to reserve for other times: life’s dynamic is apparently meaning always BAD, darker moments… like with the now often-repeated Warren-genuflecting-against-Liz’s-engagement-ring-scene and so on (but there are many others, certainly back with Liz’s Rape, with Michael and the fire, but also more etc…).

Whenever there was something that the “awwwwwhhhhh” factor starts to kick in, it USED to be depicted a la Hallmark cards faces, and then all the dexterity of back-of-the-cereal-box cutouts, and now it doesn’t even bother to do that.

These last two days are so random, so uninvested in, so inconsequential as scenes and positions, for THE BIG ONE, the “I do” of it all.
Well message clear enough Lynn…
Even Liz snapped at one last chance to grasp what was going on around her in the limo, and for one last semi-conscious moment tried her best: “STOP”!!!

But I’m sure that will be tied into Grandpa’s death, same moment or something. Rather than Liz’s death-by-Hallmark, which is what we witnessed over these episodes.

I won’t be surprised if the potential pathos for Grandpa’s death (eventual) had LynnCo finishing the artwork with the profis long before their layoff, and it’s in the vault, and it will be much more “dramatic” and elaborate than Liz’s Wedding to Blanthony.

And speaking of Farley, what, no dogs since a while… oh god, no NOT THE DOGS TOO!
dreadedcandiru2
August 25th, 2008 at 5:43 am [Reply]

FOOB:

Panel 1: The officiant declares Assthony and Lizardbreath ~~manipulative bastard prick and shrieking harridan filled with rage because children behave like children~~husband and wife and reminds Creepthony to kiss the bride. John and Elly hover over their shoulders like happy buzzards.

Panel 2: As John and Elly’s silhouettes gaze appreciatively on, they do so.

Panel 3: He boasts that he’s the happiest guy on the planet. She reminds him of an ancient wedding tradition she just made up: kiss the bride and make a wish. Although I wish he’d wish JSTF and Flapandhonk, who still won’t stop smirking at them, into the cornfield he says he’s good.

Panel 4: After all, he’s whined, bullied, lied and manipulated his way to achieving his lofty goal of being part of the Patterson family so his wishes have all come true.

Summary: The next six strips will be an equally good test of the gag reflex.
GarrisonSkunk
August 25th, 2008 at 6:16 am [Reply]

I can’t help but think the Crock punchline is some kind of weird pun… is there any word that even remotely sounds like ’storks’ that ends a phrase “He really knows his….” . When I first read the strip, I read it as my father knows his ’sporks’ which makes even less sense.

The B.C. comic actually sounds like something Johnny Hart WOULD have done in the 70’s.
Lolsworth
August 25th, 2008 at 6:28 am [Reply]

The first funny BC strip since c1981.
yellojkt
August 25th, 2008 at 6:29 am [Reply]

Hottest blogger? Red hot! I predict some ballot box stuffing (among other places) before this contest is over.
gleeb
August 25th, 2008 at 6:30 am [Reply]

BC: So, tired proselytizing to lame ganja jokes. Get this Mason another job.

‘bean: Mopey Pete mopes his way through the dull story of the creation of an overhyped comic book, inch by inch.
teenchy
August 25th, 2008 at 6:34 am [Reply]

# 15: I can’t help but think the Crock punchline is some kind of weird pun… is there any word that even remotely sounds like ’storks’ that ends a phrase “He really knows his….” . When I first read the strip, I read it as my father knows his ’sporks’ which makes even less sense.

How about “He really knows his dorks“?
John C Fremont
August 25th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

Ghost-who-really-ought-to-wear-pants-at-all-times-No-seriously-put-on-some-pants-for-cripes-sake! – First of all, Kit, put on some clothes. This much seems obvious. Second, get out of the way, you’re blocking my view of your w- uh, say, Kit, why don’t you just go check that fuel line again. And take your time. Maybe go fly around that oil rig one more time.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
August 25th, 2008 at 6:55 am [Reply]

FOOGH: Anthony has been so happy these past few weeks that he didn’t bother or need to get his free tux fitted, just got it off the rack. Free from his uncle Charley, who owns TUX FOR SCHMUX. That’s why it fits so well around the neck and the sleeves.
Ducky
August 25th, 2008 at 6:58 am [Reply]

If you’re going to talk about sex, you MUST talk about Brad and his big hose as he gets turned on by Toni in Luann
Philip Reuben
August 25th, 2008 at 7:00 am [Reply]

Is it just me, or can we actually see the Phantom’s penis? For the life of me I can’t figure out what else that line is meant to be.
benro
August 25th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

#11 – I just had a dreadful thought. Do you think rule 34 applies to Ian and Toby?

And Josh has a commanding lead in the hot blogger competition. I like the phallic histrogram..
dd
August 25th, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

Philip (#23) – I wondered the same thing. Clearly a penis.
Jesse Cline
August 25th, 2008 at 7:41 am [Reply]

As soon as I saw today’s B.C. I was like I cant wait to hear what Josh has to say about this.

I can’t decide which strip is more god awful today; Marvin or Speed Bump?
Shoshi
August 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

Josh, there are problems with what you wrote about Crock. Last things first–vultures do not kill, they only eat what is already dead. Also, the gag is not that he is so smart that he spent 2 hours talking; that is just a forced set-up for the gag, which is that the father’s version of “the facts of life” was about storks!

Now, two *other* things struck me. One, is that vulture supposed to be a KID? He looks full grown to me, and it is amusing to think of a vulture having a “Dad” in the way that humans do (or wearing hats like they do, for that matter), And then there is the question of what the “facts of life” would consist of, from a vulture’s point of view.
Inspector Dim
August 25th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

There’s about to be some sort of piano-off in 9CL! Can you say Excitement City? The lack of chins! The irritating contestants! The pianos! The unappealing little dork who is apparently the prize! …Wow.
dimestore lipstick
August 25th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

We really need to consider putting our long and successful history of vote manipulation to work on the presidential election.
Inspector Dim
August 25th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

#23 Phillip Reuben,

It’s supposed to be a leg. Whether it’s the second or third leg, only the Ghost-Who-Is-Poorly-Drawn knows for sure!
Dingo
August 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am [Reply]

Josh, if you pose naked in that calendar but use a nude Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener, as your merkin, I’ll buy three!
Gojira
August 25th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

#23, #25, #30 re: Phantom Rorschach test: I see it as his left arm hanging down between his legs.

Mrs. Phantom’s right nip should be showing through the gap in the fronds, but, apparently, it has the power to turn invisible.
Chyron HR
August 25th, 2008 at 8:15 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean – Oh, hey, a fictionalized retelling of the early days of the comic book industry! How totally dissimilar to the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel “The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay”!

But, seriously, somebody shoot me if it looks like Mopey Seigel is going to engage in gay buttsex.

FOOB – “I wish for two blessed scrolls of charging, +2 fixed Grey Dragon Scale Mail, and an Amulet of Marriagesaving.”

Luann: “I gotta tell you, Toni, you give me erections at inappropriate times.” Smooth move, Bradley.
Amanda
August 25th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

My God, even for a trophy wife Toby is stupid.
Whippersnapper
August 25th, 2008 at 8:22 am [Reply]

Foob: Elizabeth Patterson, I now pronounce your free will dead, and your life over. You may kiss your creepy, icky husband, if you can stomach it.
Inspector Dim
August 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

FOOB: Fifteen years of following this strip… for this. All I can say is:

FUCK!
Raeli
August 25th, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Ew, they did it. They’re all married and crap. Gross. My amaranth flakes nearly repeated on me.
The Party Sim
August 25th, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

FOOB: In celebration of the unholy alliance, I made a pilgrimage to fborfw.com to read the Coffee Talk posts.

In addition to one disturbing post which actually offered heartfelt condolences on Grandpa’s heart attack, I found the phrase that sums this all up:

“I dont mean to get persnickty but thats just fittlesticks!”

Oh yeah.
Pozzo
August 25th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

I’m actually trying to imagine the physics of the vulture pecking the kid’s eyes out, considering the way his beak is bent. He’d end up slashing his own Adam’s apple.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 25th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

What’s this? A Monday post on Monday morning?! Who do you think you are, Josh, Uncle Lumpy?!

9DQ: Edda’s piano coach is Yoda.

Archie: Veronica’s ringtone is “Here We Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush”?

A.D.: Not only is the joke one Johnny Hart would never use, he’d never draw the Ant Queen living in a hollowed-out dildo, either.

Crock: If a kid said his father spent two hours explaining the facts of life to him, my first thought would be, “Wow! Your dad’s a perv!”

(WT)DT: Shouldn’t they have had Lt. Teevo check out Shirl Locke’s credentials before hiring her on as a detective? That’s our Dick, always closing the barn door after the horses have been mauled to death by wild dogs.

FC: No, honey, I’m sure something sucks in the White House every day.

GA: Clearly by “patent your invention” she means “ram your meat-piston into my tight exhaust pipe”, and by “before somebody rips it off” she means “before I let Rufus tie me up like he always asks to.”

H&J: In this strip, even the henpecking is non-specific. It’s just a string of exclamation points, which in several African languages is used to denote a click with the tongue. So Sarah’s rant probably sounds like a Geiger counter, or a rabid isopod. But if she’s got that much tongue dexterity and stamina, I can see why he puts up with her.

JP: As a lawyer, Sam should know that he can shut up and leave town at any time, since Det. Carol Hathaway here doesn’t have any cause to hold him. That said…

random babes in tank tops : Judge Parker :: giant talking animals : Mark Trail

Luann: “No, Toni…” (puts her hand on his trousers) “…hose here.”

Marvin: The good news is that “Ask Marvin” is over. The bad news is that characters who burn food while grilling rank in humor value just behind golf, fat people eating, and high gas prices. Wait, that gives me an idea for the perfect comic strip! Call the syndicates!
Skinny Guy: “Hi, Fats, what are you doing on the links? Isn’t today the Rib Cookoff?”
Fat Guy: “Yeah… but I couldn’t afford to enter!”
Skinny Guy: “Because you couldn’t afford all that food?”
Fat Guy: “No… the gas to start the grill!”

That’s pure comedy gold, I tell ya!

MW: So the lesson of today’s strip is, “Be sure to listen to telemarketing calls all the way through in case they turn out to be important, or you may end up so poor you’re forced to dress like Toby Cameron.”

MG&G: Tomorrow, Grimm explains the function of “space pants.”

PC: um, yes. Yes, you did. Can we get on with it please? I haven’t seen such an ugly, drawn-out hack job since Texas Chainsaw Massacre II.

SFx: Hey, cut Max a break! It could have been one thief walking and another riding a unicycle!
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Explain me how that vulture is going to peck out anyone’s eyes with that beak. Please.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

By the way, is there enough interest here in my making an “I Survived The FOOBOCALYPSE” T-shirt design? I envision a silhouette of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, except instead of carrying scythes and swords and such, they’ll be waving around butter tarts, model trains, Cinnabons, and Hose-a-Phoniums. In tasteful teal and purple, of course.
Georg
August 25th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Jesse (#26) – I physically squirmed when I read Marvin. “Ho ho, look at that Gordon Ramsay – I mean, Gordon Ramsit! Hoo, I wonder what kind of mean-spirited comments he’s going to make! Oh wait, this is a comic strip, and a lame one at that, so he’s probably just going to make some HILARIOUS baby diaper-related jokes about the dad’s cooking!!!” This is going to be a great* week for Marvin.

*terrible, as usual
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Crank: “A mobile GPS”. Yes, that is a technological leap from those old, stationary GPS units that merely said “You are here. You are still here. If you are reading this five minutes from now, you will still be here.”
reebchan
August 25th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Sorry, Josh, I’m sure you’re sexy, but I voted for Wil Wheaton instead, for he makes me go HOO!
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 25th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Crock: Me? I’m wondering what Kyle Broflovski is doing in the desert to begin with.

Phantom: How very European.

OBH: I’m just kind of stunned here. Detorie’s outdoing himself.

WofI: Can we all agree that it’s a laff riot when a knife-wielding rapist loses his nerve? Show of hands?

SFx: Not to nitpick, but the solution doesn’t explain how Slylock knew this. They might as well have gone with, “He’s just that good.”

JP: Smooth, Sam. Being a man of the law, he immediately jumps up with, “It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!”

Big Dog: I think we all know that it’s not the Food Channel making him salivate. Hold that position for a couple of minutes and you’ll find out.

FB: Meanwhile, Marm’s transatlantic rival tries to outdo him in depravity. Jolly good show!

Archie: Alternate explanation: Jughead just got his first erection in three weeks and ran off to use the Lodges’ bathroom.

Luann: Could you two put your sparkling repartee on hold until the civilians are no longer at risk of getting incinerated? Thanks.

A3G: Yeah Margo, that is the question.

S4th: Sure that isn’t just Ted yelling “Oh, snap!”? He seems like the type.

H&J: Apparently Sarah studied rhetoric with Snoopy’s pal Woodstock. Who knew?
The Wild Sow
August 25th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

#23 — I think it’s just the water showing thru the gap under his left leg. Either that, or The Phantom has a blue penis!

Then again…what color are ghosts’ genitalia???
Angry Kem
August 25th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

I find myself over-analysing B.C. To ants, two pounds of marijuana would be like enough marijuana to fill a barn. Burning it would place the troops in the vicinity of a veritable forest-fire of pot.

Today’s FBOFW would look good on a Hallmark card that had been set on fire and flung into a sewer.
Thursday Next
August 25th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Do you think there’s some ulterior motive for the fact that the foobsite seems to stop at August 22? Have they received so much outcry that they can’t upload comments?
Hope springs eternal, I guess.

I know I wrote one on the 23rd objecting to Jim’s kids not particularly giving a crap that he’s in the hospital.
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Foob: Grandpa Jim gets the phone call. “They’re finally married? Good. Now I can stop all this vocally-challenged-hovering-at-the-brink-of-expiration shit. Iris, let’s fake our deaths so we can get the fuck off this shark-jump like we’ve been planning.
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Funky: Seigel sat there on some sunny afternoon thinking of men in tights. How, how could he display these images in ~~pubic~~ public and not be thrown out of his house for thinking such sin about other men? How??

Aha! Brilliant!

Mopey Pete lies in the same place and thinks of men in tights so many decades later. How, how can he display the strange new feelings that he is getting without being fired from his new job? How??

The joke goes like this: Superman is flying along after having teamed up with Batman to foil some crime and save the world. Suddenly, Superman sees Wonder Woman lying on the beach, completely naked. He flies in quickly and in the blink of an eye he does his business and flies off.

“What was that?” asks Wonder Woman

“I don’t know,” says the Invisible Man, “but my ass hurts like a SON OF A BITCH!”

So Mopete gets fired and blacklisted from the industry, bringing yet another story arc to a miserable and soul-crushing conclusion. Oh, and Les says with a smirk “It could be worse – you could have cancer!
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Foobomination: That’s it? Given the glurgegasms all of the Coffee Talk sycophants were working themselves up to, Lynn takes them all up to the edge and then gives them the comics equivalent of blue balls.

I’ll call it now—you won’t see Elly and John break up, you’ll see Assthony not keep his promises and watch Elizabeth’s marriage to the fool implode. The build up for their supposedly perfect love is the set up for the tragedy that follows. The most glurgetastic marriage of the century is the set up for how Lynn really takes out her feelings on Rod.
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Hey Josh – I placed my vote-you now have 158 votes!
I think they’ll be doing a calendar of just you now.

So, Granthony, now you can Have Her – if you can get it up, that is.

Next in FOOB – The Potlatch!

And #52 – yes, Rod/John is becoming a dartboard and Bobo doll simultaneously.
halfpint
August 25th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Goodness, Josh, it’s 9am CDT and you’re currently BLOWING IT OUT at the “Hot Blogger” voting!!!!! You’ve got over 160 votes; others are lucky to have 12.

Are your readers faithful or what??
enny_buddy
August 25th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

Anyone see the problems in today’s Baldo? I think the coloring monkeys must have been drunk….unless of course there are such things as black tomatoes, in which case it makes perfect sense.
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Toeby again ignores the “Danger: Bridge Out” signs while driving down Identity Theft Avenue.
“Enormoushop wants me to re-enter my information? Ok.”
“Fraudulent charges on my credit card? It’s only a buck.”
“Phone message from the bank? Bah, it’s an ad.”
“Email from Enormoushop saying I might be the victim of a ‘phishing’ scam? Hah! Like I would eat a worm? I get my food from the refrigerator, not some dangling bright thing on a string. Even a bimboid like me knows that one.”

So Ian is on the road and all his credit cards are useless. I want to see some good old red faced Scottish rage when Ian can’t get drink at the airport bar while waiting for his flight. I want to see old chinbeard throw a couch like a caber toss at the cashier. I want Ian to threaten every innocent bystander within earshot with excruciating annihilation by bagpipe if his credit card is not accepted. And if that doesn’t work, he will lift his kilt and display his buttocks, searing that image upon the retinas of the viewers forever.
Poteet
August 25th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Crock — I’ve never felt sorry for a cartoon animal the way I feel sorry for that vulture. I hope some kindly plastic surgeon will fix that beak so the poor guy can eat. I assume it’s a guy vulture because of the weird hat, but maybe in Crock, that’s not a good clue.
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

Tomorrow’s Foob:
Anthony: Tonight’s the night I finally get into your pants, Liz! Present THE GOLDEN VAGOO!
Liz: What are you talking about?
Anth: Sex, Liz! Why do you think we got married?
Liz: What is.. this.. ex?
Anth: No, not “ex”, SEX, Liz.
Liz: Sex? What?
Anth: Liz, you LIVED with a guy. Don’t tell me you’ve been so cloistered in your WonderBread whitewashed little world that you’ve never even heard… HOLY SHIT! You really HAVEN’T ever heard of… Ok, ok, keep still. We’re gonna do this.
Liz: Ok, what do I do?
Anth: Yikes! Little Winky is still little! Wake up! No, this is no time for a lack of confidence! Bruce Banner, become the Hulk! Come on, dude!
Liz: You’re shouting at your pants. Quite frankly, this “sex” thing doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. You know what’s fun? A helicopter ride. That is fun.
Anth: Whatever, Liz. Get going bro!
Liz: I think I’m going to call my friend Warren. I think he’ll pick me up on the hotel roof. Which way are the stairs?
Anth: No… my whole life I’ve waited… nooooooo….
Schadenfreude, the unfunny critic
August 25th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Crock: Little kid wanders in the desert and talks to animals. It would only be funny if the animal was a BIG DOG. Anything said to or around a BIG DOG smacks of hilarity.

Spiderman: Parker’s only friend at the Bugle has blue hair.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

#41 One-Eyed Wolfdog – I imagine it won’t be “pecking” so much as “cantilevering.”

9CL – Hmm. Amos’s speech balloon goes behind one object and in front of another. Is this like 1/0, where speech balloons are more than just a visual shorthand on the part of the artist? That would be interesting.

A3G – Nothing brightens my morning like Margo verbally abusing people, especially if they’re not actually present.

AS – See, this would be pretty funny if (A) everybody wasn’t drawn like mutant clay-people that would give Dick Locher nightmares, and (B) the joke weren’t drowned in verbiage.

A.D. – It’s taken a while, but Mason is finally getting things back to the old, funny B.C. of the 70s. Bravo!

Crankshaft – I can’t wait until Jeff has to tell Charlie the Dancing Stones are restless.

Crock – I can think of a few potential “jokes” from this, but I’m really not sure which is intended:

* Maggot is actually dumb enough to need two hours to explain a fairly straightforward process.
* The knowledge imparted thereby is, practically speaking, not useful to the kid, as mammalian and avian reproduction are quite different in process.
* The line was supposed to be the old “birds and bees” bit, thus rendering the joke that Maggot actually explained about birds, but was inexplicably changed for whatever reason.

On the other hand, maybe I’m just overthinking it; this is Crock, after all.

FC – um what

FOOB – Man, could there be a better expression of how fucking creepy this whole thing is than John and Elly staring at the event they single-handedly willed into existence against all probability and at the expense of their child’s free will?

GA – So…is this whole thing going to wind up in a discussion of the up-fuckedness of intellectual property law in the US?

Luann – Hey, Evans, you’ve got it wrong. You draw a relatively innocent comic, and we make the phallic jokes.

Marmaduke – Marmaduke gets off on pictures of food.

MW – OH MY GOD THOSE SHORTS THEY BURROW INTO MY EYES GET THEM OUT

OBH – …wow. Batiuk, are you taking notes? This is how to do a bittersweet comic-strip death.

Pibgorn – Well it’s about time things started to come together.

SFx – Oh. I was going to say the thief was walking his bicycle because dirt that leaves footprints that deep is pretty hard to bike on.
CanuckDownSouth
August 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

44-Schadenfreude Actually, there are stationary GPS units. Knowing that they’re stationary, they use the satellite info to get better position data to other, portable GPS units. The portable ones become more accurate by comparing their satellite info to the stationary one.

But that’s not how it works with the GPS in your car, so Crank deserves the slam.

MT Wow, it’s good your memory is great at keeping track of the shapes of all the rockpiles in the area. Because nobody would notice fresh dirt, wrecked vegetation, and unweathered tumbled stones to determine that there had been a rockslide.

FOOB I don’t even want to think what all Anthony’s wishes are. Not going to go there. Instead, Foob’s Paradise of the day.
Poteet
August 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

# 56 Schadenfreude — HAR! Now I’m really hoping for Ian to break in upon Toby’s endless I’m-so-wonderful-and-I-take-such-glorious-care-of-my-big-hunk-’o-man internal monologue with one of his seriously enraged phone calls, preferably full of enraged Scottish dialect.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Amen #29 dimestore. We can get John McCain elected. Let’s get out the vote.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Toby and LuAnn should have an exhibit of their “art” together. The reviewer will mistake the output of their empty souls as an attempt to make a statement on the emptiness of modern consumer society. The reviewer will write reams of artspeak prose as to why LuAnn’s vacuous flower paintings are a commentary on the loneliness of 20th Century women completely unaware of the paranormal influence of a dead 19th Century artist who wouldn’t be caught dead or alive doing that kind of commercial crap. Her prints will soon be found in the back section of thrift stores next to the Andy Williams Christmas records.

Toby’s work on the other hand…well, what does she do exactly?
Jesse Cline
August 25th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

#40, you are on to something there… I actually think their could be a market for spoof comics, kinda like the Naked Gun for the funny pages. I think everyone here would certainly read it!
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

#64 Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division – I laughed at “Andy Williams Christmas records” because it’s so true. The only album I’ve seen to rival the Andy Williams records for thrift-store ubiquitousness is Tennessee Ernie Ford’s hymns collection (way to totally not have any of the good stuff by Tennessee Ernie Ford.)
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

66 commodorejohn: I almost wrote Tennessee Ernie Ford’s hymns, but I see a lot more of the Andy Williams Christmas records. LOL!
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

What, Josh, no Sunday panel from Sly with “CW L CC” – Count Weirdly loves …. holy shit, Weirdly has a thingie for Cassie??? *BRAIN BREAK*
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Recovering with Monday

A3G: With her “What? WHAT??”, I now have horrible visions of Margo being the next Doctor Who. Death will still be following the Doctor, but rather directly this time.

Arch: The AJGLU3000 was still in pause mode for panel 1.

Big Cat: good god, those feet! I don’t think they were that huge even last week!

MT: Wait, what? The men (not Mark) found the women(?) though observation and deduction? Who are you, and what have you done with the real Mark Trail strip?

MC: If this is a charater-building week for Violet, then woohoo! If it’s just today, panel 3 is still awesome. :)

Ghost-who-strips: Something far more for the ladies than the men. *throws drool buckets in bats’, poteet’s and a few other mudgeons’ direction* :) Now, how many are wishing for a stiff breeze right now? :) :)

Pluggers: …what? That makes no sense!!

Sly: Tired of ordinary batteries dying on her, Cassandra decided to up the ante with power tools. Or else she decided to built a replacement Cassie for Weirdly.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

#66 commodorejohn: Actually the only thing more ubiquitous than Andy or Tennessee records are copies of the Doctor Zhivago soundtrack album. I got my copy at the Salvation Army thrift store still in the shrink wrap along with a 1959 Dinah Shore record from her TV show also still in the shrink wrap. Both play quite nicely on my 1963 Pilot stereo. Listening to Dinah Shore’s record, the only thing I could say is that Batiuk travelled back in time and depressed the hell out of her.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
August 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

FOOB: ***Shakes head in disgust***

Luann: I didn’t know that Toni had two twin sisters, all of them firefighters. That’s a nice limp-dick Brad is busy shaking at Toni in the last panel….
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

#69 Niall: I guess it means that Pluggers don’t have cell phones or they don’t drive flying vans and carry their cellphones with them at the same time. Though if it were Zits, Jeremy would have called his parents from the back seat.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
August 25th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Wow Josh, as of this moment, you are apparently, like, 6 times sexier than your nearest rival.

Crock: So I’m thinking about this vulture having conversations with his dad. Facts of life aside, I prefer to think of young vulture learning how to deal with bullies: Son, if anyone threatens you, just barf on ‘em. (Come to think of it, I wonder if that would have helped me in 7th grade.)

Meanwhile, what I really enjoy about the first panel is the bizarre one-upsmanship taking place. “Dad just explained the facts of life to me. Nyah nyah nyah. And I’m not telling YOU. Ha! But it involves monkeys. Oh, I’ve said too much. That’s all you’ll get from me.” And then on top of that, as mentioned, one of these kids is, for some reason, a vulture. Sitting on a cactus. Sure, why not.
CanuckDownSouth
August 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

I know a marriage proposal on an answering machine in A3G is seriously messed-up etiquette, but Margo shouldn’t be so upset. She has him on record now, and he can’t escape!

She should be checking her state’s rules about verbal contracts.
D.A. Pennington
August 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

FOOB: I think Lynn is aiming for a St. Elsewhere ending where Sh-Sh-Shan-non just imagined the last 20+ years while staring into a Molson promotional snowglobe.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
August 25th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

#42 Spider-Brick:

Hell Yes!
I’d be interested in a FOOB-shirt.

We should send a bunch to Lynn & Company as well.

What a sad state of suck FBOFW turned into.
Muffaroo M. Muffaroo
August 25th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Archie – I’d like this better if it had been the doorbell instead of the ice-cream truck, and Jughead was going ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!

BBailey – Please, it’s a Briffit. These kids today… even when they’re copying old strips, they have no sense of tradition.

Crock – So many questions. Why does the kid look so unhappy in the first panel? Why does the buzzard wear a backwards ballcap? Why is there no punctuation after a sentence? If the stork brings people, who brings buzzards?

DTracy – At least they didn’t call him “Morey Artey.” And Tracy is checking on their story, without letting so much as a week elapse. Small blessings, I know. Still, I can’t help wondering whether Moriarty is just going to stand there smiling and proffering his badge for the rest of this bloody saga.

FOOB – Anthony already made his wish. I think it involved April. That brief occlusion of the sun was probably Gramps getting his wish.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 25th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

–Rover, honey, you should come on along to bed with me now.
–Aw! There are laws to prevent things like that from happening!
–Yeah, but nobody ’round here can even count to sixteen, so who’s gonna know the difference?
–Ummm! Yeah!
Muffaroo M. Muffaroo
August 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

GA – Take heed, Rover! Your tarsier-eyed nymphet is talking sense.

JP – Perhaps the detective is suspicious because Cheatham signed a contract and wrote a check between holes of a golf game, just before getting shot, and the handwriting was kind of shaky, and the ink was still wet. We’re talking ballpoint ink here.

MTrail – “Moss! Where are you?” “On the north side, of course!”

Muke – When Marmaduke humps the TV, he’s not firing blanks.

My Cage – Good phrasemaking there.

Phantom Shorts – The second panel’s more fun when you realize that the leg you can see is hers.

PCity – Call it an infodump; call it too much text. I call it a welcome respite from the art.

SFox – This is a touching re-enactment of the “Catharsis Joe” version of “Footprints.”

…”Hey, there’s only one set of footprints here. You abandoned me, Jesus!”
“No, my son, that’s where you were too weary to walk, so I carried you.”
“How about this part here, where there’s one set of footprints with a wavy line between?
“That’s where you were too heavy to carry, so I used a wheelbarrow.”
“And how about here where it’s just a row of dots?”
“Pogo stick.”
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#67, #70 Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division – Regional thrift-store differences? Fascinating stuff. But it’s the uncommon ones that are the real gems; I was lucky enough to find a copy of Tarkus in good condition at one of my local shops, which got me into ELP. Good times!
Muffaroo M. Muffaroo
August 25th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Shoshi @27 – “vultures do not kill, they only eat what is already dead.” So in the last panel, is he eating the gag, or the soul of the very strip itself?

Spider-Brick @40 – “That’s our Dick, always closing the barn door after the horses have been mauled to death by wild dogs.” Damn, wish I’d said that. I mean, really said it, not just quoted it.

formerly Ben @46 – It’s because Slylock’s solution was the punch line to an ancient brain teaser: “He was actually stealing wheelbarrows!

commodorejohn @60 – “maybe I’m just overthinking it; this is Crock, after all.” When your brain detects visual input and says, “I’m looking at Crock,” you’re already overthinking it.

Patrick of the I-LL @67 et al – The LP I see most often is Vaughn Meader’s “The First Family.” They must have sold a metric buttload of those. Enough to fill dozens of dumpsters like the ones Meader dined from after 1964. (Note: it wasn’t fair. He got a raw deal.)
evil_bacteria
August 25th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Now that B.C. has started making pot jokes, who knows what the future could hold? BC and Thor Go To White Castle?
Sobek
August 25th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

“I’ve talked before about the Rex Morgan problem, which causes me to lose interest in the adventures of our dashing doctor at the moment at which they ostensibly become exciting.”

Josh, I’m no doctor, but I believe the medical term for that is “premature ejaculation.” They might have pills for that, or something.
Man behind the curtain
August 25th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

A3G — Look Margo, it’s still a proposal. At your stage, take what you can get. Return the call and leave a message that you accept.

MW — So i guess the rest of the message is that if we don’t hear from you we’ll assume everything is OK and let all the charges thorugh to deplete your bandk account. Since, a person is usually responsible for only $50 of unauthorized charges if it’s a credit card problem not too big a deal except for the major incovenience of ID theft.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

#81 I’ve seen The First Family a few times at thrift stores, I used to have the record.

#80 If I found an Emerson Lake and Palmer record at the thrift store, I’d snap it up as long as it wasn’t Love Beach. Horrible, horrible record. I probably should have hung onto my ELP records, but when I had to make tough decisions a few years ago about what I had room for, King Crimson won out over ELP.
Hank
August 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

RE: Slylock Fox. Holy crap. Max spoke! Has that ever happened before? I kind of always figured he was like the Daryl brothers on Newhart.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
August 25th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

One strip we never talk about here is Buckles. Today, they keep it fresh with a joke about party lines (in the telephone sense).

Which serves as an excuse for me to link to this 1946 comic explaining proper party line etiquette.
StrangeRover
August 25th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Crock: When the fuck was the French Foreign Legion ever deployed to Arizona? That’s a Saguaro cactus.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

#80 Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division – Still working up the nerve to give Love Beach a go. I’m sure it can’t be as bad as it’s made out to be, but I’d hate to find out that it is. As for King Crimson, In The Court is the only album I really like a lot; the rest of their discography, as far as I listened, is kind of flashes of brilliance buried under a mountain of stuff so far into avant-garde as to be obnoxious. But hey, diff’rent strokes.

#86 Hank – He’s spoken before, as has Slylock, but it’s pretty rare.

#87 Skullturf Q. Beavispants – Holy crap, is that a 78 he’s putting on? By Not Cab Calloway? This thing is old.
Sully
August 25th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Re: #87

Buckles? What’s to talk about? It stinks, and is further proof that just about any strip about a talking/mischievous/annoying pet is just about bullet-proof. How else to explain the longevity of such dreck as Garfield, Marmaduke, Get Fuzzy, Fred Basset etc?
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

#87 Re: Hep Bobby –
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I think I have an old Maine Elec. Dept. safety comic called something like “Don’t be a ZAP!” Maybe I’ll dig it up one of these days.

Oh, and I also have some Nunnish propoganda comic called “In Love with Jesus” where this chick is *gulp* getting MARRIED to JC (Becoming a Sister). Crimony.
Astroboy
August 25th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

I’ve done my duty and voted for CC over at the Hottest Male Blogger calender. Now I’m waiting for the Hottest Female blogger vote so I can vote for Cassy Fiano!
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 25th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Buckles is frequently excellent if you remove all the dialogue bubbles. I was tempted to make a site devoted to this principle, but it’s too much a ripoff of the Garfield one.
Mibbitmaker
August 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

FC: Yep, clip out “Carters” and type in “Bushes” — you’ve really earned the byline there, Jeff K!

Lockhorns: “…by which I mean Fender Stratocasters. Did I mention that Loretta’s a groupie…?”

Marvin: Keep the bloody “reality” shows out of the comics!! Bad enough they’re on TV!

S-M: For this to make sense, it’d be Peter who doesn’t want to see Jameson. I know I wouldn’t if I were him.

S4th: Finally, a strip that remembers what it was like to be a kid in this situation and has real sympathy!

Buckets: Meanwhile, Greg Cravens is the anti-Ces.

Drabble: That’s Liz Patterson in 20 years. Or Blanthony.

FB: Even Michael Jackson is reading this, saying, “That’s messed up!” (For this comment, I took an old Eddie Murphy SNL soundtrack [Xmas show 1982, monologue] and sped it up considerably)
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#89 commodorejohn– I have only the really early stuff with King Crimson. Greg Lake sings on at least two of the albums I have. My favourite will also be In the Court of the Crimson King, followed by the In The Wake of Posedion. The other album I have is Starless and Bible Black, and I haven’t listened to it in a long time but I liked the song “The Night Watch” the best. Anything after that mostly loses me.

Years later, I wish I had kept the ELP records. Love Beach really is that bad. I bought it when it came out and the only record that was a bigger let down was Sur la Mer by The Moody Blues. When you’re used to Brain Salad Surgery, Tarkus, Works Volume One and Trilogy, Love Beach is a bitter disappointment much in the same way you discover how good A3G used to be when compared to the current strip.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

If you’re wondering what to blame for this, it would be Jon’s weirdass dialogue in panel three.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

And on the subect of JURRRZ, let’s have a moment of silence for Casey & Andy, which recently ended its 666-strip run. One of the funniest webcomics around, folks.
Skeltometer
August 25th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Good job, ‘mudges – Josh is killing it on hot blogger, just killing it. Maybe his next comic cameo will be on that island with the Walkers in a hot…
Renee J
August 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

I’d think in a world where vultures talk and have “that talk” with their dads, that storks possibly could deliver babies.
Alex Williams
August 25th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

I love that the only reason the queen leaves her phallic shaped sex dungeon is in the event of a marijuana discovery.
Poteet
August 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

# 69 Niall — Thanks for thinking of me:-), and yes, I’m definitely intrigued. However, while part of me is intrigued with the eroticism of the Walkers’ presumably post-coital tranquility, the other part of me is wondering if they are resting on a blanket and mildly envious if their “Eden” is free of skin-seeking inverts. If you enjoy some bare-on-the-grass frolicking in rural Iowa, you are likely to get ticks and/or chiggers, apart from the mosquitoes.
Baron Von Foobenstein
August 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

BC: Ol’ Johnny “Haysoos” Hart must be spinning right about now.

Hart should have died a long time ago. I think I’m liking this new and improved BC. Okay, I didn’t wet myself laughing at it, but I did get an audible chuckle. After years of Johnny Hart’s stale and pathologically unfunny lawyer, politician, and public school system jokes, and his anti-Semitism, the BC comic is showing signs of life again.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

The Toby/LuAnn art show is already up it seems:

Pretty Vacant ‘And we don’t care’ Rachel Potts, Nina Ogden, Keara Stewart
Transition, London, UK United Kingdom

From three very different practices each of the Pretty Vacant artists have arrived at a communality of purpose. Starting from the position of the ‘unthinking mechanical process of making’ a presupposed blankness of purpose, their lo-fi methods reveal an interest in the ‘beautifully banal’. Resulting in work which shows a quiet passion for their subject matter, a romantic engagement with narrative and an inexplicable thrill in the mundane. Nina Ogden uses obsessive detail culled from eggs, bees and tadpoles to create surreal characters that confuse perceptions of space and metaphysical opposites. Keara Stewart delicately displays in deadpan drawing and sculpture her fascination with the unknown stories left behind in architecture. Rachel Potts uses a blank detachment to counteract prettiness in the painted surface and check the suggestion of fantasy.

http://www.transitiongallery.co.uk/htmlpages/pretty%20Vacant.htm
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
August 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

33 — Luann: “I gotta tell you, Toni, you give me erections at inappropriate times.” Smooth move, Bradley.

I’ve used worse lines than that.
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

This is such a crazy world! They gave me an original Rusty Warren “Knockers Up!” LP at a Christian thrift shop for free after I explained to the clerk the meaning of “knockers”.
BigTed
August 25th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Hold on — people call him “The-Ghost-Who-Walks,” and therefore his last name is “Walker”? By that logic, Batman would be Bruce Crusader, Superman would be Clark Steel, and Spider-Man would be Peter Lazypants.
lovetoykilljoy
August 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

At the honeymoon Granthony will say “I’ve waited all this time. You realize the only reason I rescued you from rape was so that I could do it myself.”
TheDiva
August 25th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

So, any bets on when Liz finally gets around to asking where her beloved grandfather is? My money’s on three days after the honeymoon.
Pozzo
August 25th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

#35 & #60: Don’t you realize that, as a Patterson offspring, Lizardbreath never had free will to begin with? Her duty in life is to be manipulated by Ellie/ Lynn (basically the same thing). The best she can hope for is to start working on a drinking problem. The reception is a good place as any to start.

BTW, is Apwil coming on to me in Sunday’s strip? Sure looks like it.
gh
August 25th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

#106 BigTed –

Hold on — people call him “The-Ghost-Who-Walks,” and therefore his last name is “Walker”?

I believe that after panel three his name was changed to Focker.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

I don’t know if anyone has already mentioned this, but I just saw Pineapple Express, and one line that made both my wife and I laugh out loud was when one of the characters says “Sally Forth!”
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Patrick, Commodorejohn-
Wow, nothing like starting off my week with a little “prog-rock” reminiscence.
The first ELP album I actually got (at age 13 or 14) was “Pictures At an Exhibition” — not a bad point of entry, I reckon. Over time, it was noteworthy to me because of Greg Lake’s pretty-damn-good acoustic guitar solo; not Steve Howe, but certainly a cut above.
I quickly snapped up their first album, and “Tarkus” and “Trilogy,” was thrilled with “Brain Salad Surgery” and considerably less-than-satisfied with “Works Vol. 1.”
As for King Crimson, I came in on “Starless and Bible Black” but worked all the way back to “In the Court” and then forwards. “Poseidon” was a very decent follow-up to “Court”; “Lizard” and “Islands” both had their moments (the latter less so, however); “Larks Tongues In Aspic” is a pretty good run-up to “Starless.”
These two bands, along with Yes, had me hankering to get hold of a synthesizer and Mellotron, or some such similar instrument. If I’d actually learned how to play keyboards, who knows what it’d have led to. Instead, I became a folkie, and now spend my time playing jigs and reels instead of covers of “Lucky Man” or “21st Century Schizoid Man.”
But those albums are all still in my library and will remain so — pry from my cold, dead hands and all that.
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

67. Patrick: I handle (and often desire to throw away) the audio-visual items for our local Friends of the Library. We get a LOT of vinyl donated — people come to Arizona, die, and their relatives give us the goods. It’s my experience that the single most popular album in these parts is “My Fair Lady,” the original Broadway production with Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews (yes, the one with the Hirschfeld illustration of GBS pulling Henry Higgins’ puppet strings pulling Eliza Doolittle’s strings…). “The Sound of Music” film soundtrack is a close second.
Metric buttloads, indeed…
Baka Gaijin
August 25th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: One man, no pants…yes, I went there!
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

#112 essteess – Hey, nothing wrong with jigs and reels! But if you ever get a chance to talk to yourself from back in the day, a cheaper way to get into synths would’ve been to snag yourself a Commodore 64 five or so years later ;)

And yeah, I hear you on Works v.1. “Pirates” is pretty much the highlight of the album.
Perky Bird
August 25th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

FC– Hey, Keane family, guess what? Not only is the White House closed to tours on Mondays, it’s also now closed to people who just casually drop by to tour on any given day! According to the White House visitor center, you have to arrange for a tour through your congressman, and they’re only available to groups of 10 or more. So even if it were Tuesday, your little melonheaded hoard wouldn’t be allowed in, anyhow! (Not to mention that purses, cameras, and stupid pennants are no longer allowed inside, either.)

Actually, to make this funnier, they should have had a huge curtain strung up in front of the White House, so you couldn’t even take pictures of it on Mondays.
Edgy DC
August 25th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

An thus concludes another exciting adventure for The Ghost Who Fucks Al Fresco.
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

#113 – Yes, yes, my Mom had that album!
I remember drawing/copying the Hirschfeld cover as a kid.
Great music and play/film.

Please note too that Lynn J. / Elly is as Pygmalion-esque as they get, at least in the cartoon world. But in reverse. Her children regress, not refine.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

#112 essteess – And as for Yes, well, Close To The Edge was the album that got me into progressive rock to begin with, and remains one of my very favorite albums ever, along with Meddle.
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#119 – Well, here you go. Weir and Anderson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX9YhX8acvc
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

I get kind of verbose here sometimes and my sentences you might occasionally have to diagram with a sophisticated CAD program, but still, dear father! that Sunday foob! So many words! I realize Canada has a great deal of open space, so much that it may seem practically endless, but trust me: you can’t just go dumping verbiage around like that. It piles up. You go on spewing that crap and think it’s all harmless and then one day you’re out on what you’re pretty sure used to be a prairie, standing rigid as a frightened rabbit with a bad case of tetanus just trying to maintain a little personal space and someone’s abstract yet unpleasantly syrupy noun is poking you in the eye and if you step back another inch you’ll have ellipses literally up the wazoo.

Lynn: Use fewer words. That is what I am saying.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

#112 essteess: I agree about Works Volume One being uneven, but it’s still better than Volume II. C’est la Vie was my favourite song from the Greg Lake side.

For mellotron bliss, I usually turn to Moody Blues albums from 1967-1975. I probably by now have five copies of Days of Future Past in vinyl. Although the title track from the Strawbs Grave New World is mellotron for the angry and depressed.

#113 bats:[ I’ve had some pretty good luck with finding decent A/V at the friends of the library book store. I’m also into 78’s and I latched onto a near perfect set of (reissued as a set) early Brunswick label Bing Crosby recordings from 1931 when he was actually still a jazz singer and actually good. Got a copy of the prog rock version of The War of the Worlds still in shrink wrap the same day. It’s worth it for Richard Burton’s narration and Justin Hayward’s Forever Autumn. Picked up a few John McCormack 78s now and then. But for every treasure, you have to wade through enormous piles of Perry Como (or is that Coma) records along with horrible 80’s movies on tape etc.

What never ceases to amaze me is how much stuff is out there that has never been opened from its packaging. Not just the LPs but if you find a never played 78 from say 1910 to about 1935 its amazing how good those records actually sound with a fresh needle in the gramophone.

Which reminds me, now and then you see that Dagwood has some old Victor outside horn gramophone he bought at a yard sale that ended up in the attic.
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

101. Poteet: you worry too much. Kit and the missus only have to be on the look out for giant isopods, which clatter and click as they walk, making it nearly impossible to get the drop on anyone.

118. Calico: Elly puts the “pig” in “Pygmalion.”
(apologies to noble members of the Suicidae family everywhere)
Shoshi
August 25th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

81 Muffaroo M. Muffaroo — Haha! Lends new meaning to the word “gag”!
JH Pants
August 25th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

What’s up with the nudie comics lately? On Friday we were treated to a shirtless Chinbeard and Soda Shoppe Guy showing up from his Chippendale’s gig in the second panel of Archie. Today, we get to see Mr and Mrs Pantom in all their glory. (Well, at least the quality has improved) If I am subjected to any nude Foob action, I’m going to have to gouge out my eyes and soak them in bleach.
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

#119 Commodorejohn-
Ah, “Close to the Edge” — had me playing air-keyboards for hours on end as a young lad. I made an external-mike recording of it to cassette so I could take it with me on my family’s cross-country summer trip, and was glad I did. Nothing like driving through Glacier National Park with “Siberian Khatru” playing in the background.
Re synths, some years later I actually did get one, a real cheapo Radio Shack number that was nonetheless a lot of fun to muck about with. You could manipulate the sounds instead of having them all pre-set for you. Ironically, by then I was playing exclusively traditional folk — but my band did use it from time to time.
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

So much to catch up on…

YYY340. Anonymous, who posited the Weirdly and Cassandra Cat first: oops, that’ll show me to not read up from my last position (Friday thread, #326) before posting again.

YYY347 bats :[ : I was intrigued by the violin, because I like violins, and they are used in so many different ways – I figured it wasn’t celtic music, but it could have been middle-eastern of some modern bent, or romani, or many other things. It was only after I stopped that the hoseophonium made its appearance and I just stood there, then bit my lip not to laugh. It was kinda “modern” yet so very bland. And loud. Two blocks later I still could hear it, and the cafe itself was tiny. Way. Too. Loud. (And I’m one who dances next to full bagpipes! I know loud!)

Oh, and thank you for the wonderful mental image of Weirdly finally learning enough pyrogravure to graphically express his “love” (thanks Curtis) for Cassandra. I hope you’re proud of yourself. :)

YY13. Commodorejohn, on BB: oh thank you for introducing this crew to that term. Some things the world really, really doesn’t need to know.

Y52. Dingo: Pool party?? That’s just completely hilarious! Your life is certainly never dull. :)

Y59. Nekrotzar: A hearty Bwahaha at your foob rewrite – I loved the giant mustache and the Max Mouse panel.

Josh’s lead has made an enormous hop ahead. (Sorry. wait, no i’m not.) I think the only one who would have more readers to send and vote would be Wil Wheaton.

I admit I found the BC joke rather facile and telegraphed – from panel 1 I knew the rest of the strip. No surprise, hence no humour.

101. Poteet: I figured – and I was definitely right about bats :[ considering her reaction yesterthread. :) Maybe they’re lying on pristine sand? Which brings out a different set of uncomfortable considerations, but about what happened a little bit before. Chafing. Ouch.

106. Big Ted: No, Batman would be Bruce Knight…

112. esstees: if you play jigs and reels, you’re a celtie, not a folkie – a subgroup, assuredly, but I know some folkies who scoff at anything instrumental. The local folk festival is a marvel at managing to keep the different sub-groups placated.

As for prog rock, I don’t really own much – other than a couple of Moody Blues and my fondness for early Pink Floyd with the psychedelic long numbers. (Listening to retro radio, I can tell if a song was made in the 70s if it had a long rambling/jamming instrumental section in the middle.) But my older siblings constantly listened to Yes and other prog rock in the late 70s and early 80s (and my sister still plucks down her vinyl regularly – I would as well but my turntable is second-hand and a little wobbly). But there was no King Crimson. I need to rectify this.

There’s plenty of Mike Oldfield, Vangelis, Patrick O’Hearn, earlier Vollenweider and smiliar early prog electronic music though. :) (Yes, Oldfield is not electronic, I know.)

(..work? what is that strange concept you are talking about?)
Cheese-n-Pear
August 25th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

DT: Now that we seem to be on the wrap-up week and Locher is presumably preparing a freshly-baked batch of crazy starting Labor Day, why don’t we start a pool on which type of grisly death the villain will suffer this time around? It will be much more relaxing to consider the mayhem of Dick Tracy than to continue facing the horror of the FOOB Wedding.

So what will happen?
Chopped in half by a Samurai sword? Too Kill Bill
Fed into a woodchipper? Too Fargo
Head crushed by a falling anvil? Too Roadrunner
Run over by a bulldozer? Already did that

Personally, I’m leaning towards something involving the villain Al Lergic and a bowl of peanuts.

OK, I’m out of ideas, but I’m sure that there are people with a better sense of just how the next baddy will meet his demise while Dick Tracy stands by and cracks wise.
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

126. esstees: folk means music is still alive, so there’s nothing wrong with using a synth for it, as long as it’s properly integrated. :)
Motorposus
August 25th, 2008 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

I stumbled across violinist Hilary Hahn’s website and found, to my delight, that she has posted the 9 Chickweed Lane strips in which she is referenced.

Apprently, her cameo came as a bit of surprise, but she’s fine with it as long as her name does not appear on a tombstone.

Happy Fooberdammerung, y’all!
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

#122 Patrick
Right, we couldn’t leave The Strawbs out of prog-rock/mellotron retrospectives! Amazing to me how in a few short years they went from the Sandy Denny/acoustic “Sail Away to the Sea” sound to Rick Wakeman and then Blue Weaver “tronning” away. Loved “Grave New World” — in fact, I recently made a copy of it for a friend who’s partial to 70s English folk-rock.
Fun Wikipedia “facts” — reputed mellotron owners have included Princess Margaret, Peter Sellers, King Hussein of Jordan and L. Ron Hubbard. (Somewhat anticlimactically, this sentence in the entry is followed by the “[citation needed]” disclaimer.)
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

#127 Niall – Early Floyd is severely under-appreciated. I don’t know why Atom Heart Mother isn’t better-known, for example.

And as for yesterday’s Beetle Bailey, I was actually kind of surprised that nobody beat me to the punch. Am I really more knowledgeable about Internet fetishes than most of the folks here? That’s a sobering thought.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#126 essteess – Hey, if ELP could turn “Rodeo” into a Moog-tastic prog-rock cover, I don’t see why a synthesizer shouldn’t fit into a folk band =D
Anon
August 25th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

I just had to come here to see what the hottest male blogger looked like. Where are the photos?
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

#127 Niall-
It is pretty sad to see the division sometimes between these “subgroups.” I mean, I don’t necessarily like all the contemporary/singer-songwriter music I hear, and obviously not everyone likes the trad-side stuff, but you just have to keep ears and mind open. In fact, I’m playing at a festival this weekend which is probably 75-85 percent singer-songwriter/contemporary, but I’m eagerly anticipating it.
Almost forgot about Mike Oldfield! I stayed with him through “Ommadawn” and didn’t regret it. I remember there was such a to-do about “The Exorcist” at the time it came out that a number of people dismissed “Tubular Bells” from mere association. Actually a damn good album in its entirety (love the Viv Stanshall cameo).

Oh, and Commodorejohn and Patrick, I’d neglected “Tales from Topographic Oceans” in my accounting. I not only went to see them play it at Madison Square Garden, but years later I acquired a b**tleg of the concert — from a guy who’s a first-class bluegrass/Celtic guitarist! The circle is complete…
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

#132 Commodore John -
I plead naivete. What fetishes in particular are featured in Sunday’s BB?
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

#131 – I think Neil Young also owns/owned a Mellotron.

Until recently I thought the band The Musical Box was using the early-borrowed-by Genesis Mello, owned at the time by King Crimson in the early 709’s – but no – it’s a Korg or Roland or something that contains Mello samples.
Calico
August 25th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Early 70’s, that is. Whoops an’ Hoo! an’ Stop! an’ all.
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

#133 Commodorejohn-
Oh yeah, people like The Battlefield Band bridged the “gap” just fine!
T-Man
August 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Oh, man, Marywanna in the funnies? Won’t someone think of the children?!
Poteet
August 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

And the blowout blog vote continues! I’m trying to decide if I’d rather see Josh posed like Mr. Walker or Mrs. Walker. Without the fronds, of course.
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

122. Patrick: oh my YES, Jeff Walker’s “The War of the Worlds”! There continues to be noises that this will be made into a movie (NOT featuring Tom Cruise and not the very-cheaply-made UK version from a couple of years ago)…I really want to see the story set in H.G. Wells time and how Edwardians would have to deal with an invasion such as this.
(There’s also an anthology of SF writers who have done “War of the Worlds: Global Dispatches,” which is a neat collection of the Martian invasion as observed by the People of the Time: Theodore Roosevelt, Churchill, Mark Twain, Percival Lowell, etc.)
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

Anyone notice that one of the women putting on the “Hottest Blogger” contest is named Sarah Morgan?!
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

#135 essteess – Mmm. The middle two sides of Topographic Oceans kind of drag on a bit, but they’re still good, and “The Revealing Science Of God” and “Ritual” are just fantastic.

#136 Anonymous – That guy with the stuffed animals? Yeah.
PeteMoss
August 25th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

#142 bats :[

I agree that I’d like to see more classic sci-fi stories told during the time they were originally set. Any of the Verne or Wells stories, to me, would be more interesting if told in the authors’ time. I also like the idea of re-makes of movies being done that way. For instance, if their going to remake The Day the Earth Stood Still, set it in 1951! Of course, Hollywood doesn’t work that way.

And speaking of Superman and Batman movies, I kind of wished those were set back in the 40s or 50s, too.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

144 – D’oh! I knew about Furries! Since it was Julius, who obviously has so MANY quirks and all, I didn’t even notice the aminals.
PeteMoss
August 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

I, too, am a Yes fan and own most of the group’s output from 1970 – 1984 and some of their more contemporary stuff, too. I’ve seen them perform about 5 times. I own most of ELPs stuff, too. Works Vol. 1 was tolerable but Vol. 2 less so. Stay away from Love Beach. I’m not sure what was going on there. As for King Crimson, I’m a fan of all of their phases, but I don’t always love everything they do. Court of the Crimson King, Wake of Poseidon, Starless, Lark’s Tongue, Discipline, Thrak are mostly all good.
Ned Ryerson
August 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

A3G: I’m enjoying the trio of objects next to the coffee maker. Based on the coloring, I’m going to guess it’s a bottle of tabasco, a can of Pepsi and a box of corn starch.

MW: Toby’s cameltoe is really raging today. It’s quite painful looking.

As far as thrift store record ubiquitousness, I’d like to nominate the Ray Conniff Singers, The Dukes of Dixieland and Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#145 PeteMoss – Absolutely. Since when did the present day become the only interesting period in history? (Of course, The Day The Earth Stood Still would be screwed-up anyway because of the fundamental change in plot, but eh, we’ll always have the original.)
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

Today, Granthony’s wishes all came true.

Then widdle Francoisisi came running up to him and he said “Get the fuck outta here, I don’t want ANYTHING from my failed marriage — especially something as hideous as you. I got my woman and a HOME!”

One can dream….
Bookworm
August 25th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Astroboy @ 92 – Here is the link for the females. It is also on the right hand side of the guys’ page under “Gals.”
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 25th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Some of you prog fans might like After Crying if you’ve never heard of them (perhaps even if you have).
Islamorada Girl
August 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

The Strawbs. My god, I used to go drinking with Dave Cousins when the band was in NYC. Good times! He was a sweet guy.
Captain Thunder
August 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Gadzooks! A brand new Dennis, Viscount of Stokington has been posted.

Whatever could Dennis be up to?
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

149. commodorejohn: and the fact that Keanu “Someday I Won’t Be a Little Wooden ~~Actor~~ Boy!” Reeves isn’t playing Gort also screws up the re-make…
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

I don’t think anyone saw my comment yesterday, but sally forth yesterday is a fake. There is no mention of Comics Curmudgeon, but “snap!”ing spirits instead.

Phantom: Aparently the-ghost-who-is-naturalist practices in home nudity. maybe the phantom is a member of the all worlds religion?

BC: I really didn’t get the “joke”, what does the potato chips have to do with the marauana?

Crock: World’s worst conversation starters: “My dad explained the facts of life to me.”. Sound smore of a cheesy pickup line.
gh
August 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#151 Bookworm –

I recognize Helena Handbasket as a ‘Mudge. There may be others. Astroboy, you are cleared for takeoff.
CanuckDownSouth
August 25th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

156-anonymous Monday’s S4th is about SNAPing spirits, but Sunday’s does indeed have that panel. Check out websites like Seattle Times
Baka Gaijin
August 25th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G: Margo, darling, before you reach through that cell phone and rip Eric’s testicles off, do you not realize that your intended is literally half a world away, so if he’s calling you at tea time (5pm), it’s 5am where you are? You can find out more about time zones on the Internet, be-otch.
Arlene
August 25th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Lurker here commenting for the first time. I remember a Phantom strip sometime in the late 90’s, when I started reading the comics regularly in my hometown newspaper, that caused a lot of pissed-off phone calls and letters from people who were offended. I can’t remember the details of the storyline, but it featured scantily-clad, big busted women who I guess were part of some remote village. Since those half-naked cartoon women prompted such outrage in my hometown, I can’t imagine what those people would say about naked Mr. and Mrs. Phantom in today’s strip.

That being said, I’ve been reading this blog for a few months now and have really enjoyed the posts and comments. Keep it up!!
gkl
August 25th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

MW: Why did Toby steal the hands of the witch that gave Snow White the poisoned apple? And why can’t she give said poisoned apple to Mary Worth?
Tom the Pirate
August 25th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Has Brad even noticed his “hose” is flacid? You gotta know all the other firefighters have noticed. He’ll get ribbed for sure back at the firehouse … and not the good kind, you know, for her pleasure.
Tom the Pirate
August 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Of all the potentially disturbing images from this current run of FOOBville, possibly the worst is today’s final panel and Anthony’s excessive use of tongue.
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Oh, before I forget…

Toronto mudges: I’ll be in the Centre of teh Universe again in a couple of weeks. If there’s any interest for a meetup on Sunday sep 14, I’d be all for it. :)

132. commodorejohn: I think I found Atom Heart Mother recently, if it’s part of the stack of vinyl found in my sister’s building’s garbage room. I haven’t played it, if it’s in there. As for why you were the first on the Sunday BB, well, I know of that fetish, and because I know it, I don’t want to spread its existence – I’d love for it to die its own little death in silence and ignorance. :) And it’s one I thankfully never think of unless someone else brings it up. So maybe that does say something sobering about you. But take heart, you’re not as deep into things as Dingo. :) :)

133. commodorejohn: In that free vinyl stack was a Moog version of Ravel’s Bolero, and Moog “interpretations” of Beatles songs. No, it’s worse than you thought. :)

135. essteess: I listen when I can do a fantastic two-hour folk program on Saturday mornings (CKCUFM.org, Canadian Spaces, audio streams available), and it goes the full range itself, so I definitely have an open mind. It’s very rare that I’ll overhear a sadly closed-minded comment at the local folk festival, where I’ve seen groups like Moxy Früvous in the same lineup on small stages as people even they had never heard about, sometimes for similarities in approach, sometimes for the big contrasts on a theme. (There’s four to five artists/groups on each stage for an hour, each taking turn talking about their approach and singing a song. Occasionally it turns in an impromptu jam. Golden moments. :))

As for Mike Oldfield, we never saw the Exorcist, and gleefully continued on through QE2, Five Miles Out, and many others. Amarok was such a glorious hour of sitting and listening for my sister and I, quietly getting mind-blown. To this date, on my “driving CD”, I have put in the last 5 minutes of that album, from the start of the drums. The last two minutes are to me one of the most Glorious Moments I’ve ever heard. (I’m getting shivers just listening to it in my head..)

142. bats :[ : Ah yes, another childhood memory it took me decades to appreciate properly. “But still, they caaaaame!” :)

144. commodorejohn: did you try to time that link with the number of your post? Since both are gross. :) and may I tell you the story of Pandora’s Box? Except this one has no hope in the bottom. (ack, mental image.. no…)

Blog results 4:30pm Eastern: Josh #1 at 438. Francisco #2 at 63 – by one vote.

I voted for Helena Handbasket, and was the only one so far…
Astroboy
August 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#89 – Commodorejohn – I didn’t know you were a fellow Prog-head! You must join us over at progressiveears.com

Some of them actually like Love Beach, that’s how dedicated they are!
Greg
August 25th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

BC: I’m 42 years old and today is the first time I’ve ever chuckled, out loud, to a BC strip. Wow!
Astroboy
August 25th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Reading through the whole thread, apparently a LOT of Prog fans here. WOO-HOO!

I belong to Progressiveears.com which is filled with cool music fans from all over the world. Funny and clever, most of them too (not as funny and clever as CCers of course!) Stop by over there sometime. It’s free and they don’t bite (well, some do, but there’s an “ignore” feature.)

I never realized how many comics/prog crossovers we had here….awesome!
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#156 Anonymous
Hmm, yeah, usually the desired post-indulgence indulgence is brownies or chocolate cookies.
Of course, for me, the best reefer-related request was “Say, you don’t happen to have a 40-lb. bag of Oreo cookies, do you?” (From David Frye’s “Richard Nixon: A Fantasy”)

#153 Islamorada Girl
Not that I know you, of course, but your Coolness Quotient just went up considerably, at least on my scale.
Orange Doorhinge
August 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Toby: I love my wonderful Husband so much I am going to make him and extra special dinner to eat! I know! I’ll use the tuna seafood baked casserole recipe Mary gave sold me! It’ll put a sizable dent in my checking account, but since nothing is too good for Ian, I’ll use Starkist Tuna instead of the store brand. And since Ian is Scottish, I’ll use Campbell’s Mushroom Soup! The whole can! I’d work myself to the bone for wonderful Ian, so I’ll crush the potato chips myself with a rolling pin instead of using store bought pre-crumbled breadcrumbs. What’s more, I’ll cook the pasta noodles ahead of time so they’ll be mushy instead of so hard they crack Ian’s false teeth like last time. Then I’ll drain the pasta noodles and combine everything together in a casserole pan and bake it in the oven! I’d do anything for Ian!

I’ll have lit candles at the dining table even though the lights are on. I’ll serve red wine and Ian and I will drink a toast to true love!
Ian is so lucky to have me for a wife!
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#164 Niall – Well, yeah, at least Dingo provides a little comparison to comfort me. I just kind of take it as granted that if you’re on the Internet you know about this stuff…but I suppose that’s not true for everybody; I shall have to be more careful to avoid exposing the innocent around here to the horrible things I’ve stumbled upon.

As for Atom Heart Mother, I would definitely give it a listen if you have it. It’s kind of a bridge between the early psychedelic-oriented Floyd and the later, more prog-rock works. “Alan’s Psychedelic Breakfast” and “Fat Old Sun” in particular are very nice.

And the Moog Beatles covers…I heard “Eleanor Rigby” on some “strange music” site or other (it might’ve been WFMU, but I’m not sure;) that was enough for me, thank you very much.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

#142 bats:[ There is a version of War of the Worlds that is set in the late Victorian period. It’s a very low budget version and very long. It’s also one of the strangest and darkest versions I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to watch in some respects and fascinating in others. I feel very at home in the late Victorian era because of my paintings so watching low budget stuff like this makes me a bit crazy from the wardrobe errors alone but they seem to try to make a sincere effort at producing something like the original book. My parents got it on DVD for five bucks. When I visit them this weekend, I’ll jot down the info on it.
Orange Doorhinge
August 25th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

A3G: My husband to be proposed by email. Since we worked for the Fed Govt I suppose that proposal is still in existence somewhere…-oh yeah… I mean crushed by a red hot steam roller. Well, luckily I printed out a copy.
Dagger
August 25th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

BC: Way to go, ant soldiers. I’m sure anyone could let that amount of marijuana be raised unnoticed in the ant colony, given that it’s a mere 302,394 times greater in weight than the average ant. That’s like a 150-pound DEA agent letting a pot farmer grow 22,679 tons of hash before seizing the goods. Math is fun when drugs are involved!
Tom the Pirate
August 25th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

There’s a very cool twist on War of the Worlds in the second League of Extraordinary Gentlemen graphic novel by Alan Moore. (Bear in mind, the book has nothing to do with the appalling movie of the same name.)

http://www.rambles.net/leg_vol2.html
Orange Doorhinge
August 25th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

A3g: Margo, that is the last time you’ll ever hear Eric’s voice, so be nice. Years from now you’ll be sitting alone in a bathtub filled with tepid water, playing it over and over while gulping sake from the bottle and sobbing. I know what I’m talking about.
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

I have an effin’ hilarious and true marijuana/Fritos™ story that involves a boy scout troop*, but it’s way too complex and convoluted to go into here.

*mind out of the gutter, people, other than the drug usage, it’s a clean story!
Islamorada Girl
August 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

168 Essteess: Thanks. I used to be cool back then in my fledgling rock and roll journalist daze. Now I’m barely hanging on to the cliff of hip. You made my day!

It makes up for the hideous sight of Lizthony tongue kissing in FOOB.
stumps
August 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Foob – so what do you bet that grampa jim died, crying ‘free at last” the second that the I do’s were said. but we won’t know it for weeks as they drag this bit a pablum through the mud
Orinoco
August 25th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

“There is a version of War of the Worlds that is set in the late Victorian period.” It’s called the original novel by H G Wells. The musical version, by Jeff Wayne, has also been adapted into a stage show and they tell me a full-length high budget CGI movie is on its way!
Stij
August 25th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

re: prog rock:

You guys’ taste in music is awesome. You can’t ignore the more recent prog bands, though – it’s making quite a comeback in the indie scene.

Some examples:

Battles
Don Caballero
Hella
Tortoise
Isis
A lot of Buckethead’s work

And probably more I can’t think of right now.

(an interesting new sub-genre to pop up is “math rock”. Wikipedia can describe it better then I can. It’s interesting stuff, though a little confusing at first. A similar genre is “post-rock”.)
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

170. Commodorejohn: Ah yes, Eleanor Rigby, where the “musicians” thought to try and improve on it by adding some classical piano piece completely out of the blue. Have you seen the cover art? What I particularly like are the inside photos of the “musicians” in full 70s glory. Dig that belt buckle. :)

177. Islamorada Girl: I think you’re in the cool books of all the regulars here. :)
Poteet
August 25th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

# 175 Orange — After reading your last few comments, I like the way your mind works, and it wouldn’t surprise me if some float riding was in your future.
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

171. Patrick: thanks, but I already have it. I really wanted to like it. Really. Especially since it was released direct-to-video when its studio realized it would be in head-to-head competition with the Spielburg/Cruise blow ‘em up reel gude version (not that a little film could’ve even *found* a distributor with that knowledge) and because it was set in the time that Wells had written it.
Can you imagine what it would’ve looked like on the big screen? gah…
name sake
August 25th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

i actually felt for #19, because there are not many women in any crock, so dad really knowing his dorks is going to unsettle my stomach for weeks…
Islamorada Girl
August 25th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

177: Niall- – - MMMMMWAH! You’re making me blush. Thank you so much. There are so many really, really cool people here. His Joshness has created a haven for the smart, funny and snarky. And what more could you ask for?

Aside from Emperor C firing a megacannon into the Foobmeld.
compass rose
August 25th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#160 Arlene
Yes! That was the storyline that got my household reading Phantom. The gratuitous use of negligee! The terrific dialog of the exploited women (“Not decent!” was one memorable line). I forget how the Phantom rescued them from the terrible fate of having to wear sheer babydoll nighties, day after day after day.
Todd Alcott
August 25th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

I was about to vote for you for the blogging calender thing, but then I realized that I have no idea of the issues involved. To cast my vote with confidence, to know that I’m not being played for a sap, I feel like I really need to understand the candidates’ positions.
essteess
August 25th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

#177 Islamorada Girl
>I used to be cool back then in my fledgling rock and roll journalist daze.

Hmmm? I am further intrigued. I make my living as a journalist-type thing, writing about music on an occasional basis (of the folkish rather than rock and roll variety). Nice to see others of a somewhat similar bent around…
Muffaroo M. Muffaroo
August 25th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Skullturf Q. Beavispants @87 – That comic is reet with a beat! Looks kind of like the work of Bob Powell (art-wise). Daddy-o.

Calico @91 – Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I’ve been obliged to realize that there is a whole subgenre of porn involving nuns. Without investigating further — so I can’t say for sure nobody’s done this — what I think it needs is for the door to open in the middle of the scene, and Jesus walks in and says, “Hey! My wife!”

Red Greenback @105 – I got one of those Rusty Warren records — they must have been pretty popular in their time — and listened to it, once (if you round up).
blackgoat
August 25th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

MW: We may be off on the wrong track with the phishing scheme theme. While Toby pondered the credit card charge from “Pretty Purposes”, it now becomes clear that she purchased her shorts there: “Pretty Purposes” in reality is the “closeout ” page at Enormoushop.com. This would explain the $ 1.09 charge on her credit card bill. There’s no $9.95 shipping & handling fee, because they really, really wanted to unload them.
There is no stolen i.d. story. Toby is just a careful shopper – look how she is avoiding falling into a high interest credit card trap. As soon as she remembers where she got the shorts, she’s going back to Enormoushop.com to get a pair of plaid shorts for that wonderful man she’d do anything for. XXLarge will cost her 30 cents more.
Lindz
August 25th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

I’ve never commented here before. Hi guys!

I was just wondering….what is THIS?!
http://www.maryworthmovie.com/
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Crock: Kid’s dad pulled a Ted Forth. …and if you’ve ever pulled a Ted forth, you know how painful it can be! Thankyew, all week, waitress, etc.!
Muffaroo M. Muffaroo
August 25th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Patrick, I-LL @122 – I bought a box of 78s and was sad to see a broken Perry Como among them — the title was almost beatnik-sounding (naturally, I can’t remember it now). If you’re interested in 78s, may I commend archive.org to your attention. Billy Jones and Ernie Hare’s “Old King Tut,” Ben Light and the Surf Club Boys doing “The Full-Her Brush Man,” or John McCormack singing “Little Boy Blue.” They have thousands of the good stuffs.

essteess @126 – Close to the Edge, performed April 21, 2007, by a bunch of insanely talented high school students with Jon Anderson singing lead. This makes me feel good. Jigs and reels and strathspeys and country dances are swell as well — my main meat’s classical, but in a larger sense, I love it all.
BruceJ
August 25th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

You have to look really hard, but it would appear that the Phantom flies an antique sikorsky S-38 seaplane.

Cool!
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 25th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

# 179 Orinoco: Yes, I have the book, I was referring to a movie set in the same period as the book. :-) I also have the Jeff Wayne musical version on LP.

# 183 bats :[ Yes, that’s the one. It looked really bad on a large TV I can only imagine how much worse it would have looked on a movie theater screen.
Harold
August 25th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

God help me, I got a chuckle out of the idea of a father so uncomfortable discussing S-E-X with his son that he spent two hours going on about storks.

Facts of life for a vulture: Things die. We eat them. Thermals are good. The stork brings carrion.
Braniff
August 25th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

I have a theory about the caption for today’s FC. The reason it mentions the Bushes is that they are in the same party with the Republican nominee, a senator from Arizona, which happens to be the home state of the creator of the FC.

I think Bil Keane, who is the real brain and pen behind the FC wants John McCain to win the election; the question is, is this Bil’s last-ditch attempt at political cartooning before he gives up the pen for good?
Tabby
August 25th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

79 – that’s just too funny! I’ll never be glurged out at one of those stupid posters/cards/whatevers again – I have the antidote & it is a pogo stick!!!

Also, Capt’n Thunder – I loves me some “luck of”!! Jolly good!!
NJR
August 25th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

I wonder how Johnny Hart would feel about the strip he created featuring fewer incomprehensible jokes about Jesus and more goofy jokes about the munchies.

I wonder how he would feel about it featuring unusual panel layout, various angles, detailed art, and a lack of indifferent scribbles phoned in before tee time.
commodorejohn
August 25th, 2008 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

#193 Muffaroo M. Muffaroo – Wow. I don’t really care for live performances much, but those kids are good.
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

188. essteess: you’ll soon find out we’re all a little bent around here. :)

And yes, it looks like my Vinyl Haul did include Pink Floyd’s Atomheart Mother, along with the Moody Blues’ Seventh Sojourn and Walter Carlos’ A ClockWork Orange soundtrack…

191. Lindz: THAT is our feeling at the unending torment of our Mary Worth’s plodding storylines…

194. BruceJ: Actually, yes, that’s how the whole fershlugginer non-storyline started for the Phantom, he went and bought one. Paid cash, too. Was in teh US and came back through the Gulf, with a faulty fuel line – which was never repaired on screen; worse, before they had the chance to do any repairs, the motor suddenly worked fine when they needed it!

197. Braniff: the real question is, which Bush in office is being referenced here…
Mooncattie
August 25th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

bats:[ Going back a couple of days to the discussions here about “cows” with “horns” (for those who missed the thread, we were probably just insulting LJ after her infamous I thought you said he was going to pull through! laff riot), here is my latest YouTube upload featuring a deranged Mooncattie from two weeks ago meeting up with some Swiss cows. I enjoyed reading the threads on this over the weekend, as I was unsure that horns and udders went togedder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PtQQoNQ_Io
Sheila Sternwell
August 25th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

#187 Todd – That’s okay, the voting page is down because it’s exceeded its bandwidth. Darn that cheeky bandwidth!

I’m askeered of how funny I find today’s BC. Somebody hold me.
fishmorgjp
August 25th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Wow, it’s great to see so many curmudgeons with excellent musical taste! Strawbs, King Crimson, ELP, Jeff Wayne’s WOTW… ahhhhhh. Re #180 Stij: How ’bout Porcupine Tree? “Stupid Dream”… goooood album!
blueberrygrrrl
August 25th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

I try to be an informed voter, so I have to ask: Josh, if you win, will you be posing in that Snoopy thong?
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Josh’s photo shoot could have a vacation theme: Josh posing in front of Jack As$ Acres wearing a Snoopy thong and an ethnic peasant shirt.
MaggieMarvel
August 25th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Trufax: I used to work on a trail crew that was comprised almost completely of total stoners (there were, like, two of us who weren’t; I was one of them).

One of the projects took place very near an “illegal growing site,” and I was like, “Are you sure you want to send them all out there? I mean… they’re them. They’ll probably chainsaw the weed down and spend the rest of the time on a seven-day smoke break. Have they at least got enough food?”

(They didn’t, but I was concerned for awhile.)
MaggieMarvel
August 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

(I mean, they didn’t chainsaw the weed and spend seven days smoking, is what I meant. They had enough food, too. Grammar snafu.)
Kassie
August 25th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

It strikes me that the ending of FOOB, with Liz settling for that offensively dorky, needy, nerdy, awful high-school sweetheart, Dull-thony, is actually the more realistic way to go with the plot. Why should Liz be able to resist the “safety” of the commonplace? She’s conditioned to it! Having a taste of an interesting life was too much for her, and she timidly turned away from it. Those two deserve each other.
mollificent
August 25th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Josh, I gotta say, you have some dedicated fans. I say this because you’re rockin’ the calendar vote even over Ces Marciuliano, whose dark Italian good looks make a girl’s knees go weak. Um. Or so I’ve heard. :) Not to mention Wil Wheaton, who during his stint on ST:TNG was the Tiger Beat pinup of choice for sighing geek girls everywhere…not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything. Um.

My POINT is, well done, you cute curmudgeon you. It just goes to show that a take-no-prisoners sense of humor is indeed sexy. ;)

(looking around furtively in case either Amber or Sara are lurking with a two-by-four).
bats :[
August 25th, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

202. Mooncattie: dangnabbit…I can’t get to play…I’ll try again in a little while, but you might want to check if it loaded right or something something something.

206. Red: nope. Snoopy thong and FC vest.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Cows – I came in late on this so I’m not sure what the issue is, but I knew some cows have horns.
What puzzles/concerns me (think of the children) is that there seem to be some cartoon shows where bulls have udders.
Red Greenback
August 25th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

bats [: and don’t forget the Washington D.C. pennant!
Niall
August 25th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

bats, it played for me. So pretty!!

mollificent: heeheehee!

MaggieMarvel: I love making those grammar mixups, because they get so funny. :) In the immortal words: “Ah-ha! Pronoun trouble!”
True Fable
August 25th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

#212 Anonymous – Not to mention all the cartoon cows at Disney, and Elsie the Borden cow, who sport cleavage. Cleavage on cows. As in, “two breast cleavage”. Sweaterpuppy cleavage.

June Morgan or Abby Spencer cleavage!

Don’t just think of the children, dammit! Think of the damage to children: those young impressionable minds warped by trying to understand lifting and separating where there should not be anything TO lift or separate until much further down.
Joe Btfsplk
August 25th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

#128 Cheese-n-Pear – Has a DT villain been flash-frozen in liquid nitrogen yet? If not, then I’m gonna go ahead and call that. That might not be sufficiently grisly or mayhemmy enough by itself, though, so I will add that Dick – or more likely one of the SWAT guys – will shoot at the body and cause it to shatter into a million fragments, Terminator II-style. What insanely convoluted route the storyline will follow to get to that scene is of course beyond any rational person’s ability to forsee.
True Fable
August 25th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

# 190 blackgoat – I like your name! Meant to tell you that some time ago, but things came up; you know how it is.
dale
August 26th, 2008 at 6:07 am [Reply]

Just discovered I’m anonymous at 212.
Trying to catch up from 4 days no Internet.
Hadn’t seen previous comments on cows/horns and bulls/udders when I wrote 212.

still anon?
Steve Grant
August 26th, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

You have to look really hard, but it would appear that the Phantom flies an antique sikorsky S-38 seaplane.

Sir, I applaud your aeronautic scholarship. The 5/7 strip identified it similarly.
Stij
August 26th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#204: Yeah, Porcupine Tree is great. I knew I was forgetting someone…
blackgoat
August 26th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

# 217 True Fable – love that black goat.
Celebrity Haiku
August 27th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

Like a group of ants would even be able to handle two pounds of marijuana? They’d be dead before it was all smoked!
Bassweasel
August 27th, 2008 at 1:46 am [Reply]

In your underware, eh? Tough competition!

What lady wouldn’t delight in seeing Mr. Marciuliano in his bright red Snuffy Smif’ union suit, it’s backflap suspended by but one button …
Jon
August 28th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

At this point there are too many responses to read, so I may be repeating myself…

“Really knows his storks” must be a pun on “stocks.” Right? Am I stating the obvious? I think it is obvious, though certainly very very unfunny.
R. W. Watkins
August 28th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

I really liked that marijuana gag from B.C.. This was the sort of humour that put the late, great Hart and Parker on the map back in the ’60s. Too bad that Hart got so increasingly weighed down in ideology towards the end. The same thing has happened with Steve Ditko: the master artist has gone from being the co-genius behind Spider-Man, Dr. Strange and classic Charlton horror to the cartoonists’ St. Paul of Randian objectivists.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

roigjgghighufhuiyhg WHAT THE BLOODY HELL#@#@$%#

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