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Pizza joint OF THE GODS

Funky Winkerbean, 9/10/08

The most ancient of the Greek gods, considered to be primordial and the ancestors of all the others, were Ouranos (the sky) and Gaia (the earth). They were married, but they quarreled, because Ouranos forced Gaia to keep their children (the Titans) chained up inside of her body. So she secretly freed one of her sons and had him castrate her husband with a flint sickle; one of his testicles landed in the sea, which resulted in the birth of Aphrodite.

These ancient myths, while disturbing and terrible, have an undeniable power and grandeur, which is distinctly lacking in this equally horrifying scene in which Les and Crazy banter awkwardly about children and sausage slicers.

Mark Trail, 9/10/08

Sign that I am a bad person number 279: I found it kind of amusing that this kindly dad dug a grave for a wild animal. Not that we actually see the grave-digging; is it possible that he forced his daughter to do it? “What’s happening, papa?” “It’s called death, sweetie, and it’s a perfect opportunity for you to learn a valuable life skill.”

Either way, it’s a bad precedent set; the landscape is way too green for me to buy his “drought” explanation. Will he bury all of the hundreds of animal corpses left by the experimental virus that has been accidentally released from the nearby secret government bioweaponry lab?

Apartment 3-G, 9/10/08

I love that Lu Ann, who apparently has the worst self-esteem in all of recorded history, is focusing on the skimpiness of this garment. Because if Alan were cheating on her with someone who wore chaste, high-collared shirts that she stripped off during a particularly sexual-tension-filled moment during their bible study meeting, that would be totally OK!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 07:10 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Funky Winkerbean, Mark Trail. |

233 responses to “Pizza joint OF THE GODS”

deepfriedtwinkies
September 10th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

I know when I think of a deep dish pie with extra glans, I think Montoni’s. One can only hope that cross-marketing with Crankshaft Creamy Milk Shakes will happen soon.
kelsy
September 10th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

I don’t if that’s a skimpy woman’s shirt so much as a ruffly travesty of a window treatment. Maybe to cover up Alan’s somehow worse window curtains.
Luprand
September 10th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

I like how “this” is emphasized. “So there wasn’t a logical explanation for any of the other skimpy women’s shirts. But I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this skimpy woman’s shirt!”

Also, discuss: Blouse?
survivor
September 10th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

LuAnn takes a deep breath and …

passes out after four thought balloons.

You need to exhale, sister.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

[skimpy woman]’s shirt or skimpy [woman's shirt]? Discuss.
Mac
September 10th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

I was trying to remember where I’d seen pizza like that before. I think it was at a roller skating rink in 1983, and I wound up skating, rapidly, into the bathroom at one point.
lovetoykilljoy
September 10th, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

I wouldn’t eat at Montoni’s if I was a teenage mutant ninja turtle. That stuff looks foul.
Daily Comics Reviewer
September 10th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

Why do cartoonists/animators always draw pizza with cheese dripping off the slice? It never happens, if your pizza had dripping cheese it would either be Velveeta or semen.
will
September 10th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

7. That, and it probably causes cancer.
Mr. O’Malley
September 10th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

Employment breakdown of Winkerbeanville, Ohio:

Civil service (federal): 7.4%
Civil service (local–education): 47.8%
Service employees (pizza): 38.7%
Service employess (other): 0.001%
Small business owner (comic book sales): 0.01%
Small business owner (truck rental): 0.01%
Small business owner (other): 0.001%
Realtor: 0.01%
Incompentent medical care professional: 5.1%
Competent medical care professional: 0.001%
Decline to state: 0.967%
Violet
September 10th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

Aww, there’s something so poignant yet laughable about Toby’s angsty confession to Mary and her microwave. Oh no, my marriage guy is at the smartness convention talking about linguine and pedophiles with people who have all kinds of brains and schools and things, and here I am being dumb enough to let the Canadian indentity-hamburglars robble my pretend money, even though I don’t actually realize it’s because of something stupid I did because I’m too stupid to even get that, and wait, what am I upset about? So how long, average, does it take to do a potato in here?

P.S. Nice smock, second-trimester art teacher from 1972.
Patrick
September 10th, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Is there such a thing as a sausage slicer? Isn’t that just…a knife? I know there are those deli slicers that make really thin slices, but just for sausage?
Poteet
September 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

I think there’s an extra “and” in the Aphrodite sentence.

Probably there used to be a minor Greek goddess named Anal who went around correcting the grammar of all the other gods until Zeus slew her with a thunderbolt, to wild applause from all the other gods, even Hera.
Poteet
September 10th, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

MT — So now I’m in suspense. Is the water disappearing because of drought? Or is it actually being drained, as stated, and if so, by whom?

My standards for suspense aren’t as high as they used to be.
Laura c
September 10th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

Actually for once a MT storyline has some relation to events in the 21st century. Las Vegas is trying to build a pipline to Northern NV to take their groundwater. Naturally enough the residents of Northern NV don’t like it and naturally enough they are being told to shut up and hand over their natural resources to the big city like good little hicks. However, in Mark Trail the cause of the water loss will probably turn out to be something do with facial hair.
Joolz
September 10th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

MW: Toby is wearing one of those economical, versatile, and very polyester outfits that are advertised in the Sunday newspaper’s glossy ad inserts.

On the plus side, I am proud of her for coming up with a compound sentence.
Jejune
September 10th, 2008 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

I like the way the person inking the letters over at Apt. 3G chose to bold the word this in the last panel, thus implying that Haley is not the first skimpy woman whose clothes Luann has found strewn around Alan’s place. An attractive to skimpy women, by the way, is yet another sign of a drug problem.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
September 10th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

#8 Daily Comics Reviewer:

Why do cartoonists/animators always draw pizza with cheese dripping off the slice? It never happens, if your pizza had dripping cheese it would either be Velveeta or semen.

Yecch… that, or it would be on a television commercial. One of the hee-yuge advertising cliches is the frickin’ cheese strings, without which absolutely no pizza can be pimped. In some Round Table ads, claw-workin’ fingers hover over the pizza and inexplicably drag off a slice of pepperoni, stretching cheese strings all day long.

Attention, Snarker Formerly Known As Herro! Care to weigh in on issues relating to the FW pizza?
Michael
September 10th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

MT – The area is way too green for it not to be regularly and copiously watered.

Also, I wonder what kind of bushes those are. They look related to Cthulhu. The one on the left side of the second panel seems to be migrating.
commodorejohn
September 10th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

#15 Laura c – Ah, interesting. However, I do wonder why Elrod thinks that Nevada looks like…Florida, apparently.
KT
September 10th, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Baldo 2008-09-10:

The dialog box in panel 2 sounded kind of familiar… almost like a song I remembered from my adolescent years in the ’80s… but the words sounded subtly different… almost as if they’d been changed to avoid a cease-and-desist letter from this skimpy woman’s… er, I mean this short purple singer!

(Er, and I got the strip from the Houston Chronicle website, but their comics index page is still munged, so I had to link to it on GoComics, where it’s colored, unlike on the Chronicle. What is up with that munged comics page of theirs?!)
Amanda
September 10th, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

3G- I can hardly wait for Lu Ann to confront Alan.
“Lu Ann, that’s YOUR shirt. We do this EVERY DAY. Get a clue, moron!”
KT
September 10th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Did I say dialog box? I meant speech balloon.
Rex Morgan, M.D.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

8. Daily Comics Reviewer says:

…if your pizza had dripping cheese it would either be Velveeta or semen.

And you have a problem with that?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 10th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

“Velveeta or semen” would make a good band name… oh, forget it.
holls
September 10th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

Josh, I love that you also keep track of the reasons that you’re a bad person.
My reason # 279 is that I’m attending my high school reunion just to point and laugh.
Nil Zed
September 10th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

#12 Patrick

yes.
Amateur Snark
September 10th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

That unbearably small comma in Funky Winkerbean’s first panel had me wondering exactly what Montoni’s Crazy might be. No doubt a coming-of-age test of Maddie’s cunning and bravery.
Pint Slayer
September 10th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Toby reels at the idea of professor fupa finding out that she was the victim of identity theft and contemplates ending it all by sticking her head in the microwave.
Recovering Night Owl
September 10th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

There is a logical explanation, Luann. Alan’s using the fabric from that skimpy shirt to make himself some new curtains to replace the ones he irresponsibly allowed to become tattered during his horrible, naughty drug abuse.
Donald The Anarchist
September 10th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

A3G “Alan, why does this blouse smell like crack whore?”

FW Is this an unsettling reference to gonads AND circumcision, or should I just assume it makes no sense whatsoever?

MT If this strip had thought balloons, the father would be thinking, “You’re next, my child (sob).”
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
September 10th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Well everyone, it’s our duty to predict Alan’s explanation for the “skimpy woman’s shirt.” My guess: “It was a gift for you! I wuv you so much!” Luann: “That’s so sweet! You’re the best boyfriend ever!!”
Beatrice
September 10th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

If an old, bearded, man named Crazy comes to my house with pizza sauce and cheese drooling down the front of his tattered blue windbreaker, forgive me for not answering the door.
Black Drazon
September 10th, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

The ideal outcome is that this A3G storyline will lead off into a cartoon stock plot where Alan pretends to be a transvestite to hide his affair. Unfortunately, since we’ve seen how they portray drug use, the most I think we can hope for is “Luanne, I’m a transvestite. That means I own women’s clothing.”
commodorejohn
September 10th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Now what does Crazy Harry do, exactly? With a name and look like that, he’d ideally consider standing on a streetcorner and haranguing passersby about the Reptilians to be his calling in life, but if that were the case, I’d be hard-pressed to explain how he reproduced, let alone how he supports a teenage daughter. But if he does have a job, the Winkersite sure isn’t telling me what it is.
Dan
September 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

28: To tell the truth, I thought it was a period. “… Montoni’s. Crazy.” Like he was saying her delivering was crazy.
isrw
September 10th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

Aaaaaaargh!

Inappropriate emphasis in comics! Do they not read the text out loud, to see how it sounds?? “*THIS* skimpy women’s shirt.”

Aaaaargh.
Mr. O’Malley
September 10th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

35. commodorejohn. Perhaps he goes down to Joe the Bartender’s place every night, tells some corny jokes and then sings a ballad in a gorgeous tenor voice.

Worked for another Crazy.
maughta
September 10th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

When I first read Mark Trail I thought for sure the dad said the thing IS “too weak to survive” and then BURIED IT ALIVE!

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!
Jnoble
September 10th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

MT: Hey kids, wanna see how a drought can be solved with a hat-removing uppercut? Stay tuned!
AMC
September 10th, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

MW – What interests me most about today’s strip is the stilted formality of the language:

“as marriage partners”

“Ian is surrounded by highly educated people”

“I’ll tell him when he returns” – not, “when he gets back.”

This is very different language than Toeby used during her extended telephone meltdown.

I think the difference is, they’ve switch to a local dialect – what I’ll call ‘Meddle English’. As the conversation progresses, I’m sure they will slip deeper into this curiously formal tongue, and before you know it, Toeby will be talking about her consort, “Ian of Cameron, the Third Earl of Pedogogy, Albino-Manatee-on-the-Thames.”

Today’s Real Life Adventures does something similar, but at least it’s consciously playing with the language.
Recovering Night Owl
September 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

H the H: “Melissa Farnsworth.” Now there’s a nice, stout Viking name!

MW: Is it just me, or is Toby working her left hand over to the knives as she distracts Mary with her sob story. A fatal stabbing would make sense given the fact that, by the looks of Mary’s contorting face in Panel 2, she is morphing to some sort of alien being.

Pickles: This whole week the Pickles guy (let’s just say it: Wilford Brimley) has been complaining about new words being added to the dictionary. It is only a matter of time before he writes a first draft of Newspeak in his very own Hell-like Orwellian distopia.

Popeye: That’s always the key to comedy: injuring a baby in Panel 3. I am guessing that a moon-rock induced coma is going to send Sweet Pea’s consciousness on a trip to the Moon and then the comedy will ensue.
christian
September 10th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Huh? i get greasy drippy pizza heaps of places… both in the States and in Aus at New York Slice
and yes, i will contiue posting just to defend FW. John Byrne art + misanthropy and depression = awesome
Uncle Lumpy
September 10th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

#35 cj –

Crazy Harry is a postal letter carrier. Today’s letter is “R.”
comicsgrl
September 10th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

LuAnn & Toby: Twins separated at birth???
Recovering Night Owl
September 10th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

My comment on MW in #42: Substitute “contorting face” with “dead, hollow eyes”
Lesser Whark
September 10th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

#34 Black Drazon:
Nice idea, but it’s not sufficient. NO ONE in A3G wears a shirt like that. I’m convinced that it belongs to Blondie.
Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 10th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Violet: “Identity Hamburglars” is going to be the name of my new band.
PeteMoss
September 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

MT – At least the dear wasn’t eaten alive by the giant venus flytrap lurking nearby. It may not have facial hair, but it’s begging for a right hook!
commodorejohn
September 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

#43 christian – Greasy, yes. But why is the cheese so liquid as to be dripping off the pizza?

P.S. “Misanthropy” in regards to Funky Winkerbean is the understatement of the decade.
PeteMoss
September 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

The dear deer, that is.
commodorejohn
September 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

#44 Uncle Lumpy – Ah. Then a post-office shoot-up is basically inevitable, although I kind of remember hearing that it already happened. Figures.
cheech wizard
September 10th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Big Dog: IT PUTS THE MUSTARD ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!!!!

RMMD – Is this going to be another one of those “repressed senior sexuality” storylines? Because if it is, I’d like to drown myself right now.
Ben Ostrowsky
September 10th, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

#5 Skullturf Q. Beavispants: And it would have been so easy to avoid that awkward construction, too. Just say “this skimpy blouse” or “this skimpy top” or “this skimpy outfit”. Lord, if that really is the entire outfit, some of these panels have stopped far too high up.
Parkcow
September 10th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

Oh, come on, spell it like we’re used to seeing it: Uranus. I promise, nobody will laugh.

Snicker, snicker.

He said Uranus in reference to Funky Winkerbean. Hey, he doesn’t mean MY anus, does he? Ah, hell, now I have to buy one of those colon cleansers so I can flush out the Winkerbean. They found nearly 40 pounds of Winkerbean in John Wayne’s colon. I learned that from the television, so it must be true.
Doctorb
September 10th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

“No, what happened with the sausage slicer?”

“She got fired too.”
Doctorb
September 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Toby’s all upset that she’s not smart or something, but really the only reason most of Ian’s professor friends haven’t had their credit cards stolen online is that they don’t know how to use an inter-net in the first place.
minor flood
September 10th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

The inappropriately emphasized ‘this’ in Lu Ann’s thought bubble conveys this to me: “While the explanation for all the other skimpy women’s shirts failed to be logical at all, the explanation for this one surely will be.”
Angry Kem
September 10th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

#41 AMC: I think MW would be infinitely more interesting if it were written entirely in Middle English. Imagine:

Toby: Ich colde not telle hym, Mary.

Mary: Tho moste, Toby. He wille knowen eftsones, ond he has a ryghte to knowen, as thy hosbonde. Yow moste bothe worken thys owt!

Toby: Alas, myn Ian is nowe yn the compaigne of moste lerned folke, whereas ich haue let myself be ablynt. Ich schalle tellen hym when he retorneth.
AMC
September 10th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

They could call it The Chinbeardy Tales.
Uncle Lumpy
September 10th, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

En Aprill, weeth son shorres soont
Doth Chinbeard grimble en hys girth!
Wilkt Toebe, ablynt stooped poont,
Crys teeries obern alle die erth!
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 10th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

Pete Moss @51 – I think you mean “the deer departed.”
Norm
September 10th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

@8: I don’t know where you are from… I am from the new-york area, where pizza is really big, really thin, and really cheezy. Here, a hot pizza has enough cheese to sort of strand off when you pick it up, and the pizza is thin enough to droop a bit. The cheese does not literally melt, but it could potentially resemble something like the Monotonis pizza…. except not that ugly color. To me, Monotoni’s pizza looks like good old fashioned New York style pizza that’s been growing mold under the refrigerator for a few days.
Josh
September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

#33 Poteet — Eeps! Fixed.

Josh
Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 10th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem: Middle English jokes! I’m in heaven. I’m reminded of Dave Barry:

“In a somer sesunn when softe was the sunne, I kylled a young byrd and I ate it on a bunne”

Cheeck Wizard: you must hear this. It’s a song from a musical version of the Silence of the Lambs.
Tim
September 10th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

It seems like the dialogue in the first two panels of Mark Trail is continuous. So, either the guy buried the deer in the time it takes to transition from one sentence to another, or my preferred explanation : The area is being drained of water so quickly that the brown lump visible in the second panel is actually the deer corpse, reduced within a second to a moistureless husk.
Uncle Lumpy
September 10th, 2008 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

#63 Norm –

NY style pizza is the best. Aunt Lumpy made it for dinner tonight: thin crust, lots of whole-milk mozzarella, just a little sauce, real Italian sausage.

My contribution was to remove the temperature lockout cam on the oven so we can cook using the 850° “clean” cycle.

Damn. Now I’m all hungry again, and the pizza’s all gone.
Dill's Brother
September 10th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

#11 Patrick: If you’re wondering why he calls a knife a “sausage slicer”, it’s because he bought it from Herb.
Joe Blevins
September 10th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

MT panel one: This scene would make the worst (i.e. best) Precious Moments figurine ever.

I’m just now starting to realize that “Mark Trail” is essentially a superhero strip built around a guy whose super powers include punching people, having a neat haircut, and owning collared shirts. “Wildlife dying? Area drained of water? Caucasian children upset? This looks like a job for… Marktrailman! Quick! To the Marktrailsignal to summon the Marktrailmobile!” Cue the theme song: “MARK TRAIL! Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh! MARK TRAIL!”
Poteet
September 10th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

# 15 Laura — Good point. And of course there are other water conflicts in other parts of the country. If this MT plot turns out to be a halfway-sane story based on any of them, or even turns out to be halfway sane, I’ll give up chocolate for a week Given that we’ve started out with an inexplicably dead fawn in a bright green landscape, methinks my cocoa addiction is safe.
commodorejohn
September 10th, 2008 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

#59 Angry Kem et al – That would push the strip to near-PBS levels of awesome. Does anybody have Moy’s e-mail address?

#63 Norm, #67 Uncle Lumpy – Hm. We have pizza at a local restaurant that’s almost like that, only not so heavy on the cheese. It is damn good stuff, although your GI tract will be cursing you into the wee hours of the morning for indulging in it.
Poteet
September 10th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Please, please, Middle English mavens, keep it up! My ribs hurt from laughing. I think it would be wonderful if we could have one translated comic per day.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 10th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

Joe Blevins @ 69: I think the words to the Mark Trail theme song have the word “Duh” in them a few more times. Like, all the time. Same with the Mary Worth theme.

Oh, that reminds me! Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, and Garfield* already have a theme song!

*And there are four others.
Ramian
September 10th, 2008 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

You know what REALLY makes you feel like a winner? Having your financial information compromised during the current Mary Worth storyline. True Story.

Not bitter though.
White Rabbit
September 10th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Winkerbean: Perhaps a reference to the stringy cheese pizza musical number in cult favorite movie “Top Secret”, with Val Kilmer. Well, perhaps it could use a reference to “Top Secret”.
Dingo
September 10th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

Toronto, I’m sorry that I didn’t see your Janis Ian homage until tonight. Well done! Well done!
Poteet
September 10th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

A3G — Yes, today’s strip is a good one for afficianados of WBW (Weirdly-Bold Words). RMMD had better look to its laurels.
PeteMoss
September 10th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

Hey, True Fable! Goats take LA! And it tastes great!
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-goats9-2008sep09,0,6190187.story
Pops
September 10th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

I find myself in agreement with so many others: the shirt is that of a skimpy woman.

We all knew Olive Oyl was a tramp; here’s the proof!
PeteMoss
September 10th, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Speaking of skimpy women’s shirts – Hello, Cookie Bumstead! I’m betting she goes out with that dude Saturday night.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 10th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#261 yesterthread, Muffaroo,
Thanks for the link to that forgotten (repressed?) bit of movie history. I’ll have to watch more of it to see how Snuffy ends up in the Army. Was there an elite squad put together to steal Nazi chickens?
Angry Kem
September 10th, 2008 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

#72 Poteet: You mean like this?:

http://middleenglishcomics.blogspot.com/
Lisa
September 11th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

{My contribution was to remove the temperature lockout cam on the oven so we can cook using the 850° “clean” cycle.}

Wow, you really like your pizza Crisp, don’t you??
Emily
September 11th, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I think the explanation for the “skimpy shirt” is clear: too scared to make it a bra, still wanted that “inappropriate womanwear” feeling.
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

#83 Lisa –

Yup. Also, can’t use parchment paper to keep it from sticking. Learned that the hard way.
Emily
September 11th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

It is like the Herb and Jamaal of infidelity. “Did you see that item of inappropriate womanwear?”
sally
September 11th, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Joe Blevins @ 69 — at my house we use the Batman theme to announce that the kids have to go upstairs for their bath (i.e., “BATHTIME! duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATHTIME!”) It works, because they are very little. But now I won’t be able to do it with a straight face any more. Damn.
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

65/Fra Bunne: Thanks for the link – but I get a message that I am “forbidden” to access it from my server. Not sure if it’s a temporary problem – is there another link you can provide?

Also, I always thought the “tweeting bird:” sonnet was from Nat’l Lamp – but you think it’s from D.B.?
Poteet
September 11th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

# 82 Angry Kem — YAY!!! Yes, exactly like that.

But please, be kind to yourself. Don’t attempt DT or GA unless you are feeling strong and brave and certain that they won’t kill your Middle English comic translation enthusiasm forever.
Rex Morgan, M.D.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

A few Thursday observations:

MW: what are the odds that a Security Expert happens to live in Charterstone? Thank heavens, that there’s also a proctologist, a paleontologist and a dermatologist for when Mary finds herself suffering from hemorrhoids, an unknown fossil that she digs up in the rose garden and the heartbreak of psoriasis.

RMMD: oh, damn. Now out comes the odd little sailor suits…

Big Dog: dead at last! Dead at last!

PBS: Kitty! Reefer Kitty! Kitty Marley!

FOOBlite: Christ, what an asshole.

Wow, that’s it. Sad.
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

59/Angry Kem: Mary Worth in ME is frickin’ inspired! But why would we want to make it more laborious and boring than it already is?

29/Pint Slayer: Toby reels at the idea of professor fupa finding out that she was the victim of identity theft and contemplates ending it all by sticking her head in the microwave.

Hmmm – I don’t know. I think that if Toby were to commit suicide, it would be by sitting in a tub of lukewarm water and slitting her wrists with a butterknife.

MT – “Why did the deer have to die, daddy? Why? Why?”

“I don’t know child, but I think you’re about to learn. And get a valuable lesson in the hazards of handling sick wildlife.”
Toronto
September 11th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

Dingo @ 76: Thanks. I guess I posted somewhat late.
Bobdog
September 11th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

LuAnn does not even recognize her own clothes.
Lisa
September 11th, 2008 at 1:03 am [Reply]

85- Unc, did the entire house burn down?
Batman Beatles
September 11th, 2008 at 1:10 am [Reply]

9CL: I stand corrected. That is the scariest face I’ve ever seen on Edda.
Joe Btfsplk
September 11th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

Phantom – Seeing that when he said, “Soon I’ll command thousands!” he apparently meant, “Thousands of BATS!” does make me somewhat more intrigued by this story than I would be otherwise.
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 1:15 am [Reply]

44/Lumpy; 52/commodore john: My girlfriend is a U.S. Postal Service employee and I must say these “going postal” jokes are highly offensive. Postal carriers and workers perform a stressful, difficult job for modest pay and little appreciation and it’s not fair to link them to a handful of unfortunate events that happened 15 years ago.

I’d say more on the subject, but she wants to use the computer right now and I really don’t want to piss her off.
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

#97 cheech –

Yeah, I don’t like stale jokes about my profession either. Still get ‘em, though.

But I don’t where #44 could offend — I just picked “R” because, as everyone knows well, it’s the funniest letter.
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

#94 Lisa –

No, but I learned that the purpose of eyebrows is to keep forehead sweat out of your eyes.

Good pizza, though!
Sensitive Poet
September 11th, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

God how I wish Alan was a secret crossdresser. But of course this is Apartment 3-G, where even a desperate drug addiction is quaint and wholesome, so he’d probably just be wearing paisley maxiskirts and earth-toned caftans and or something. Maybe a blouse that skimmed the collarbone, if he was feeling really risque.
Poteet
September 11th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

# 91 cheech — Re your MT comment, yes. And it’s illegal to keep raccoons as pets in many states, one reason being that their feces often contain a roundroom that can cause blindness and other health problems in humans, especially young children. But since this is MT, I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. Most likely that lap-sitting raccoon is in charge of reading bedtime stories, granting birthday wishes, and sweeping the porch.
mumbles
September 11th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

MT: Ah, a Mark Trail plot about water rights. Forget it, kid, it’s Chinatown. You know what happens to nosey little girls? They lose their noses.

‘Shaft: Hmm, last week it was guys who don’t ask for directions. This week it’s silly broads who bust up their cars. What’s next in Gender-Based-Hack-Theater, the classic toilet seat conundrum?
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 1:53 am [Reply]

98 – Uncle Lumpy – Um – was I too obtuse in my snark? Read it again.

101/Poteet But since this is MT, I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. I’m not sure I don’t know – if Sickness of the Deer is anything like Sickness of the Puppy, it could be fatal.
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

#103 cheech –

Oh ha ha! I was too terrified to laugh before. That, and totally missing it.

God, it’s getting like the frickin’ Glass Bead Game around here.
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

8/Daily Comics Reviewer; 18 Spotted Horse: I don’t know – here in the Midwest, damn near every pizza I get has cheese dripping off the edges – and I don’t even live in Winkerstate. Maybe New Yawkers need to get a taste of Chicago-style pizza, at least the way we make it in Michigan.
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 2:02 am [Reply]

#101 Poteet –

. . . their feces often contain a roundroom. . . .

That, and the frickin’ obscure Zork references.
cheech wizard
September 11th, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

104/Lumpy – Poor execution on my part – couldn’t come up with anything more incisive this late.
Alfred E. Neuman, going Wilde
September 11th, 2008 at 2:36 am [Reply]

Thursday snark

A3G— LuAnn: “It’s…it’s a picture of Dorian Gray!”

DT— Dick: “It’s…it’s a picture of Dorian Gray!”

(Don’t you just love A3G–DT crossovers?)

9CL— Edda IS Dorian Gray.
pepperoni détournées
September 11th, 2008 at 2:37 am [Reply]

98 Uncle Lumpy: PLEASE, PLEASE make lawyer jokes! I need to hear some good ones so I don’t get blindsided once I pass the bar. I’ve only heard one, and it’s disappointing:

Q: Why don’t sharks eat lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Help!
mollificent
September 11th, 2008 at 2:43 am [Reply]

56 Doctorb: Hahaha! :) My uncle told that joke at Thanksgiving once, to general hilarity and acclaim. Which may tell you something about my family (although to be fair, that was one WEIRD Thanksgiving in general).

Argh…must resist reading comics…must save them for morning tea…must flee CC before inadvertently reading snarkage!
Uncle Lumpy
September 11th, 2008 at 2:48 am [Reply]

#109 pd –

Hey, go nuts.

And on your bar exam’s Banking Law section, remember this simple mnemonic: the Bank wins. There, now you don’t need to study Banking Law ever ever. You probably owe me a huge amount of money.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
September 11th, 2008 at 4:11 am [Reply]

#106 Uncle Lumpy, Poteet:

. . . their feces often contain a roundroom. . . .

That, and the frickin’ obscure Zork references.

Is that what’s happening here? I was going to flail about, forcing a barely literate feng shui joke.

#43 christian, 105 cheech wizard: Heck, I ain’t mad at molten pizza… it beats the congealed stuff. Perhaps your local pizzerias use Uncle Lumpy’s patented Pizza Plasmatron. I merely point out one of my TV commercial pet peeves. Fluorescent-lit, unslightly office workers are currently on my list of despised commercial cliches.

But God forbid I should turn the damn thing off.
Eric, the baker
September 11th, 2008 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Last year I was doing some consulting work for a friend of mine who wanted to open his own pizza place in town. I did some research on the business, and came across a wonderful treasure trove of information, Encyclopizza! It includes all sorts of useful tidbits like what cheese combos are most cost effective versus flavorful, and if you should buy pre-shredded cheese or shred it on-site.

For all those ‘Mudges who are speculating about Montoni’s, take a look here.
http://www.correllconcepts.com/Encyclopizza/_home_encyclopizza.htm

I wouldn’t be surprised if the site owner notices a sudden upswing in site traffic. :)
Eric, the baker
September 11th, 2008 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Last year I was doing some consulting work for a friend of mine who wanted to open his own pizza place in town. I did some research on the business, and came across a wonderful treasure trove of information, Encyclopizza! It includes all sorts of useful tidbits like what cheese combos are most cost effective versus flavorful, and if you should buy pre-shredded cheese or shred it on-site.

For all those Mudges who are speculating about Montoni’s, take a look here.
http://www.correllconcepts.com/Encyclopizza/_home_encyclopizza.htm

I wouldn’t be surprised if the site owner notices a sudden upswing in site traffic. :)
Eric, the baker
September 11th, 2008 at 5:38 am [Reply]

oopsie, sorry for the double posting
gleeb
September 11th, 2008 at 6:31 am [Reply]

Brenda: So, all it takes to take the “starrs” from her eyes is a few hours in the unforgiving Kazook sun.

9CL: “Ague”? And this is the supposed daughter of a biologist. “Ague.” At least try and get halfway into the last century, Missy.

‘bean: Either because your old man’s nickname refers to his precarious mental health, or because you are suspicious that Montoni’s is a front for nefarious activity.

Duck: Again with the thick red arrow pointing out the ill-defined furniture. Is it a narrow desk? A podium lectern? A box, from which young Mallard’s teacher emerged every morning?

Mark: He has the stiff posture and thousand-yard stare of a man caught in flagrante delicto with a raccoon.

Pluggers: …remember to get lots of fluids during killing sprees.
John C Fremont
September 11th, 2008 at 6:41 am [Reply]

RMMD – Uh, Lenore, define “look good.” And while you’re at it, define “doing it.” Then tell me how the former could possibly apply to the latter.

JP – Okay, the first time Judge Parker showed up the other day looking like George Reeves I kept quiet. Figured it was a fluke. But then he kept it up. Now he’s looking sort of like Devo-era Mark Mothersbaugh. Darn it, Baretto, I know you mean well, but please give us back the big, seldom seen, scary white guy, not some guy who played a skinny armed super hero (once referred to as “Kitten Lips” wearing “blue jammies”) or a guy who wants us to take “Time Out For Fun!”

FC – What the hell are they watching? I remember stuff like this in the sixties. The Alan Copeland Singers? Then where the hell are the Tom Hansen Dancers? And you know what, Billy? Shut up! Just shut the hell up!

Dear god, I’m becoming Crankshaft. I need coffee.
dreadedcandiru2
September 11th, 2008 at 6:46 am [Reply]

Foob: Let’s see….a pun yesterday, horrible thought-bubbled wordplay today. Meet the New Foob, same as the old Foob.

Luann: Strange how neither of her saboteur friends realize that the girl with the fixed, vacant stare is the one who got the point. They’re so busy criticizing her for chickening out they don’t realize that she just discovered that she can bend her weak, worthless parents to her will.

9CL: I’m beginning to think that Elliot is Juliette’s first husband and that “Burber” was the name of the minor demon with which she consorted twenrty-odd years ago. That would best explain Edda’s horrific visage and predilection to evil.

‘Shaft: It’s easy to explain why Jeff is shocked; after all, with each passing strip, his wife gets less intelligent. By the end of the week, he might have to wipe the drool of her chin.
Nil Zed
September 11th, 2008 at 6:53 am [Reply]

What the road movie is going on in Judge Parker? Why is Sam driving around in a cool car, wearing a Blacktooth, gambling over golf shots and passing his ill gotten gains to Alan? Where’s Gloria anda wheelchairlawyerman?

I was off line for a while, and I only follow JP when it comes up on CC, but still, this is a huge plot swing for me only being gone 6 weeks or so.
Pixelate
September 11th, 2008 at 7:06 am [Reply]

#37 isrw – maybe the emphasis is correct; Alan hasn’t been able to explain the other 17 skimpy shirts, but Luann is sure he’s got it this time!
Little Guy
September 11th, 2008 at 7:24 am [Reply]

9CL: Someone’s been watching “General Hospital”. Asian ague, indeed. BTW, who put “Dick Tracy” into “9CL”.

Zits:

Panel One: Mom shows son stuff, son objects vehemently.

Panel Two: Nothing.

Panel Three: Son begs mom to show him stuff. The same stuff he objected to.

When did Zits get the Archie Joke Machine? Is it a loaner for the week?
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 11th, 2008 at 8:05 am [Reply]

I went and re-read the Gashlycrumb Tinies this morning just to see if there was any grim death possible for Marvin that I might have left unconsidered. There wasn’t. I’d already thought of all of those, not to mention a lot more that don’t rhyme or scan quite so well. (“Disemboweled by wolves”, for example, or “had a close look at the inside of a large chipper/shredder” would be hard to fit in to Gorey’s fairly tight scheme.)
Ned Ryerson
September 11th, 2008 at 8:23 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Gil is the God….OF HELL FIRE!

The annual Milford bonfire always reminds me of a panel from a Jack Chick tract.
Jess A.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

MW: When Mary says “security expert” what she really means is “security guard”. Nonetheless, thank goodness for Toby that Terry Bryson on the third floor has more common sense than Mary & Toby combined — she’ll probably be able to crack the case.
Whippersnapper
September 11th, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Foob: It seems to me that if you’re going to go back and redo the past 30 years of your strip, and you’ve already announced that you’re going to retcon the hell out of it, you might try to retcon it so that the characters are NOT asshats. But I guess that’s just me.

MW: Mary doesn’t have all the answers and she’s recommending Toby seek advice from someone else? Dear God, the Earth has spun right off its axis and we’re heading for the sun, aren’t we? It was nice knowing you all.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 11th, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

A3G: Makes sense. Because there’s nothing frat boys love better than a fun night of looking at Motel 6-quality art.

(WT)DT: Please let it be ED-209.

GA: I still don’t know who the woman is, but I’ve seen that guy before.

thorps. Yeah, I guess that sacrificing a young person’s life to Ba’al in a fiery ritual counts as “changing” it.

H&J: Is there something in Bentley’s contract that says he has to be deliberately not funny at least once a week? What happened, Bentley, run out of quotes from the Talmud or Langston Hughes?

JP: Others have already pointed out that Arizona should be brown, rather than green, but my question is, where the hell is Phoenix?! Carefree, Ariz., is only 10 miles away. Shouldn’t we still be able to see it?

MT: Awww, how cute! The little woodland creature is offering up a blessing before ripping out the old man’s jugular and feasting on his carcass. Afterward he’ll wash his little paws in the stream. Animals are just like little sociopathic humans sometimes!

Big Dog: I thought he said “Why don’t you bury him in his own lawn chair.” I like my idea better, ’cause it would mean Marmaduke was dead. Then they could start the strip over again in reruns.

Marvin: Ha ha ha! “Bruce” turning green whenever someone mentions his temper problem is never going to get old!

MG&G: Wouldn’t a cat be funnier?

Stripeybutt of the Jungle: Wow, this Chatu guy is hardcore, if he sleeps in a body bag.

Popeye: Let’s see… moon… rock… head… hit… and egg. This strip is being written by manatees!

RMCB: The point of having a large crew on a boat such as that isn’t necessarily to work the rigging; you also need guys to hang over the opposite side of the boat when it starts listing like that. Those two are going to be in the drink any second now.

Shoe: Ha ha ha! Life sucks and then your pets die! What a hilarious sentiment for the comics pages!!!
Eric, the baker
September 11th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Whippersnapper @125:
A *normal* person, who understood those things as faults, would change them. What you’re forgetting though, is that we’re talking about the CREATRIX, Lynnie herself. This type of asshattery is normal in her world.
Tweeks_Coffee
September 11th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

Not much snark to be had today…

‘Shaft: So we’re all pretty much in agreement that the theme of this week’s strips is that women are completely inept when it comes to cars, right?
GT: That first panel is awesomeness incarnate. It looks like they’re getting ready to offer a sacrifice.
H&J: “Now let me show you what gift I’ve been ‘endowed’ with.”
MT: Seems to me like the plants are doing just fine. Is that an otter I see?
MW: Attention Mary Worth, Style Mavin; you know what must be done.
OBH: hey, thanks for the birthday shout out, Rick! What’s that? Something else happened on this date?
RMMD: Speaking of shout outs, I’m a little disappointed that Wilson and/or Nolan misspelled my nick.
gleeb
September 11th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

128, re: ’shaft: Oh, I don’t know. This could just be about how ’shaft’s daughter is incompetent with cars. We had a couple months of how his son-in-law pushed his mother into selling her house, and before that, quite a bit about how that mother was too feeble, bodily and mentally, to survive on her own. My hypothesis is that all this is considered necessary to make Ed Crankshaft look like less of a misanthropic demon by comparison.
colonial
September 11th, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

MT: Why is the man breastfeeding a raccoon in Panel 1? Never mind — questions just lead to more questions and migraines with this strip.

FW: The woman’s frightened NOW? She was all happy and normal when she married a man named Crazy?

Popeye: So is Swee’Pea dictator of the egg now? I need my migraine medicine.
Justafoob
September 11th, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Gosh, Elly gave in to Michael from early on.

He is indeed the golden child.

Had I talked like that, not only would I not get a cookie, my face would have been slapped and my butt reddened.

Elly was always a piss poor mom.
AMC
September 11th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

RMMD – Sam Driver is a natural at whacking balls, and Rex Morgan is a natural sailor. I wonder what Rex’ll have to do for his double-or-nothing bet.

MW – “Returns” returns for a second, agonizingly slow strip ‘o exposition. It is good to know, in these difficult economic times, that Mary Worth is so busy that she’s having to subcontract out her unwanted advice.

FW – The Complete Batuik Guide to Drawing People Over 40: Make them look like they just rolled out of bed and thicken the waist. The end. The Complete Batuik Guide to Drawing People with Cancer: see above.
John C Fremont
September 11th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

# 128 – Happy birthday, Tweeks!
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
September 11th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

The new (old) FOOB: So instead of a stupid pun, we get a lame rhyme. Lynn, you suck.
Angry Kem
September 11th, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

Middle English BC:

http://middleenglishcomics.blogspot.com/

FBOFW: Seriously, LJ…are you actually going to go back and transfer your later characters’ complete unfamiliarity with social skills to their earlier counterparts? More luck to you, then, you silly, silly woman.

A3G: If the painting is of a nude Haley, I’m outta here.
Never teh Bride
September 11th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Why does new improved Elly drink tea? Old awesome Elly drank coffee like a good housewife should. Too much caffeine for you, Lynn? TOO MUCH COOL POR WIDDLE WINNY-POO?
Hibbleton
September 11th, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

MW Nice of Mary to deliver a left uppercut to Toby’s chin. That’ll give her something to cry about.

Pluggers Fenton Meiks pauses for a drink while doing the Lord’s work.

Baldo Actually, the current run of strips about Joey reminds me of the old Sad Sack comic book. A strip about a Joey-like character wouldn’t be bad (please don’t point to BB).
AMC
September 11th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

A3G – It is entirely possible LuAnn is getting ready to play peek-a-boo with Alan’s painting…..
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 11th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

9/11/08

MF: OK, two points. One, while repeatedly writing out numbers 1-100 may be boring, that’s not the same as communism. Two, maybe it wasn’t just the other kids who benefited from grading on a curve.

Cathy: An hour-by-hour breakdown of Cathy’s food and drink purchases. By Bruce Tinsley criteria, this is truly communistic.

A3G: Yes, Lu Ann. Alan’s frat brothers stopped by to appreciate his artwork. One of them was so impressed he just had to strip off his negligee. I can’t think of a better explanation.

RMMD: The Becky Sue? Why not call it the “Peggy Sue”? It would at least have some resonance with the rockabilly savvy.

FW: And so, with tears of pride in his eye, Harry decided that it was time to pass his old high school bong down to the next generation.

GA: “It is an old jungle saying. I heard it from a some purple-clad bondage freak with a pygmy entourage.”

SSmith: No way, Jughaid. You’re more cardio-healthy than 95% of kids in America.

Phantom: Chatu has had to downsize his cutthroat army. This recession is a bitch.

Lockhorns: Cameo appearance by Margo Magee as the ticket clerk.

MC: I guess you can take that as a yes.

FC: “Man, I just can’t get that song out of my head. ‘The day will come when the world is mine, tomorrow belongs to me.’ Yeah, catchy.”

GT: The excitement of homecoming. The crowd throws devil signs. A fire is built to honor the Dark Lord Baphomet. It’s almost time for the symbolic virgin sacrifice. That’s where Charlie comes in.
queek
September 11th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

MT: otter! (my favorite weaselclan member, other than my own fuzzies.)

OBH and 6C both had lame 9/11 references. Haven’t gotten to the dead tree strips yet to know if there’s others, but I suspect that there will be.
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

We can at least be thankful that Les didn’t segue into a pitch for Salad Shooters or Ronco products.

MW – Toby feels like a wreck, whereas Mary looks like one. I guess she didn’t go to that spa after all.
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Michael, you’re crude
And not a nice dude
And if you don’t watch it
We’ll make sure you’re screwed!
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Ah. It’s the anniversary of that day. Hug your loved ones.

A3G – It’s “picture of Dorian Grey” time at Alan’s, so Lu Ann’s going to pull back the curtain and see Alan’s skanky-ass crack-ho dope-friend, deteriorating as she watches.

Archie – I still can’t quite absorb the fact that they’re supposed to be in high school. They seem like college students. I guess they’re portrayed by older actors.

GThorp – Now this really has scope. We start in the fiery pits of Hell itself and segue to an intimate scene of overt sexual harassment in sports. Thank heaven for censorship, so we don’t have to actually see what “this” is.

H&J – Jamaal’s right. “Everyone is endowed with those gifts. It’s what you do with them that matters.” You don’t think he was born with that head, do you? It took years of painful binding, starting when his skull was still soft and pliable, to make it the freakish, elongated monstrosity it is today.

MTrail – I can practically hear the thoughts of those poor ol’ forest animals. “I can’t figure out how this happened! I’m not careless with water!”

Mduke – “Good luck digging a hole for that, Winslow!”

MWorth – “But how am I going to tell Ian when he returns?” “I don’t know, what do you usually tell him? (thanks and a tippo to Hawkeye Pierce)

OBHappy – Best and only tribute I’ve seen so far. Seriously, I thought it was good.

Phantom – Ghost-who-narrates-to-his-dog is starting to get worried about ol’ Chatu.

Shoe – “By the way, kid, you’ll die some day too. Probably some time after all your loved ones have left you and all your money has run out.”

SBump – Good one! For a few dollars more, it can also be a bad and ugly one.

Wiz – Man, those foreigners have a little word for everything! It’s all a plot to jack up the prices.

Zits – “Okay, Mom! I know how to milk a gag. Sheesh. …Tell me again how to milk the gag, Mom!”
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

cheech wizard @97 – When we lived in Newport News, we often used to see an employee’s truck parked outside the post office with the vanity plate DSGRNTL.

pepperoni détournées @109 – My cousin’s a lawyer, and he hates lawyer jokes. Except this one:

An architect, a doctor, and a lawyer are bragging about how smart their dogs are. The architect decides to demonstrate. “T-Square!” he says to his dog. “Go!” And with that, the dog dashes up to the drawing table and designs an air-conditioned dog house with a wet bar and clerestory windows. “Good boy!” says the architect, and hands him a biscuit.
Not to be outdone, the doctor says “Stethoscope! Go!” The dog promptly goes up and down the street, healing the halt and lame. “Good boy,” says the doctor, dispensing a biscuit.
Smiling tolerantly, the lawyer says “Briefcase! Go!” And within a minute, his dog screws both of the other dogs and eats their biscuits.

One-eyed Wolfdog @122 – “M is for Marvin, crushed flat by a Hulk. N is for Norm, who ate mothballs in bulk.”

colonial @130 – She married a man named Crazy, and they named their daughter MADdie. And they had a name picked out in case she’d been a boy: Kookie.
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

I’m not in the mood
To watch you scarf food
Or watch your attempts
To make Elly unglued!

Fin (blargh)
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

#143 – 7 years – hard to believe.
Hugs for all of you too.
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 11th, 2008 at 10:11 am [Reply]

#140 queek,
They weren’t bad. I think we can thank our lucky stars that Mallard Fillmore didn’t remember to do a 9/11 ‘toon this year.
gkl
September 11th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

MW: Toby, just admit that you’re very very stupid. Let’s face it, he probably already knows.
AmazingThor
September 11th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

A3G: “It looks like a scene from a frat house movie. That’s it! I must have mistakenly wandered in to a frat house instead of Alan’s apartment!” I think LuAnn is just an alternate dimension version of Toby.

Crank: Hey Crankshaft, the 1950’s called. They want their stereotype of female drivers back!

GT: Nice to see that Milford is starting their season out right with a good ol’ pagan sacrifice.

H&J: The homoerotic tension is a lot less disguised in this strip. Maybe the world is finally ready to accept the love of two soul-food restauranteers.

Hi and Lois: If you weren’t familiar with the characters’ names, you would think that Lois is ordering her son to leave. “You want to mock the rain? Well you can just LIVE out in the rain from now on!”

MT: I was going to comment on how healthy and vibrant the drought is, but I’m distracted by the fact that “Papa” appears to be breast-feeding the raccoon.

Plug: Today’s Plugger would make more sense if instead of “Sports Drink” the bottle said “Malt Liquor”

Zits: It’s now been four straight days with the exact same joke. But what’s most impressive is that they’ve spent four days cooking a burrito. Mary Worth should start taking notes.
Idols of Mud
September 11th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Am I crazy or do I detect a strong homoerotic undercurrent in today’s “Born Loser?”

Brutus: Did you hear about new study that states drinking alcohol causes you to perceive other people as more attractive than they are?

Co-worker: No . . . but I’m willing to try anything!

Brutus’ look in the last panel suggests he’s trying to decide whether this is the long-awaited moment where he can finally live out his Spartan fantasies.
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

#41 – “Meddle English” – from the Meddling Period.

Next, Mary speaks in Occitane and all Hell breaks loose.
Tweeks_Coffee
September 11th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

#133 – John C Fremont: Thank you! it’s off to a good start so far.
Fra. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 11th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

cheech wizard: Oh no! I followed the link years ago, and it was sitting in my iTunes. I extracted the link and apparently it doesn’t work in a browser.

OK… do you have iTunes? If so, open it, and go to the “Advanced” menu, select “open stream”, and enter “http://low.mp3lizard.com/jonandal/06.mp3″ as the URL. I just tested it and that works.

You could probably do something similar with WinAmp or maybe even Windows Media Player.
Jeffsterr Poopeyesterr
September 11th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

NYer Contest:
http://www.cartoonbank.com/CapContest/CaptionContest.aspx?affiliate=ny-caption
“As you can see, the current owners added a rec room.”
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Calico @151 – You’re too fast for me! I thought of “meddle English” as I was putting up a plug for Japes for Owre Tymes a minute ago (not one to be un-thorough, I plugged it at my blog, my LJ and “Making Light”). Curse ye for a wagge.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

AmazingThor @149 – I’m beginning to suspect Luann is the victim of identity theft — she stole Toby’s identity without considering the implications. Caveat furtor!
flodnak
September 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

So Alan and his female stoner companion are too drugged out to notice that the curtains are disintegrating before their very eyes, but they still make sure they wear attractive underwear. I’m glad to see they have some sense of priorities.

If you put LuAnn and Toby in the same room, would the walls collapse with despair?
Calico
September 11th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

#155 – Well, methinks I owe ye a wee dram or two, then!
Slainge! : D
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 11th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

#144 -
M is for Marvin, vulture-picked, dehydrated
T is for Tom Anderson; may he be immolated.
Batman Beatles
September 11th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

MW – Toby, just come up with a zany scheme like Lucy and Ethel.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#136 Never Teh Bride – It took the mention of coffee to get me to return to that vile abomination. You know what would be hilarious? If this were part of a misguided attempt on Lynn’s part to make her alter-ego seem more cultured. Chomp, slurp, glorpf, smack, but hey, she drinks tea!

9CL – Brooke, the supernatural horrors go in your other strip.

Agnes – Actually, she could probably make a good argument that it’s a hood and not a hat, since it seems to connect to her clothing at the neck.

A3G – Please let Alan be going through, like, a Dali-esque phase or something. I want to watch Luann stand there for hours, trying to puzzle out exactly why the watches are melting.

AS – Dear Scott Hillburn: please take more than three seconds to think about your joke before comitting it to paper. Thank you.

A.D. – I have it on good authority from a friend that turtle mating is hilarious even without a joke about mistaking inanimate objects for females.

Crankshaft – I would not be too upset if a group of rabid feminists were to tar and feather Batiuk and toss him in the ocean. Just sayin’.

Curtis – What? Who the hell makes their kids wear slacks and button-up shirts to school? Where do they attend, Our Lady Of Stiff, Uncomfortable Uniforms?

DT – I want that last panel on a shirt. In fact, I demand that last panel on a shirt.

FC – Today’s strip is boring and stupid, but if you hop on over to The Family Circus Of Values, it turns out Billy caused 9/11. Seriously.

FB – Why do you care, Fred? You’re a dog.

FW – Yeah, I’m getting some heavy Johnston vibes, here.

GA – At least you can’t tell whether that’s supposed to be a Semitic-caricature nose or not, since about 75% of the characters in this strip have noses just as grotesque.

GT – Wow. It must’ve taken a fair chunk of change for Milford to rent the Bohemian Grove. I wonder if they got a discount on the human sacrifices?

HTH – What? No, seriously, in what way does this make any kind of sense at all?

Lio – This storyline is already awesome.

Luann – Remember, kids, it’s okay for teenagers to get tattoos as long as they don’t actually get tattoos. At least, that’s what I’m getting out of this.

MF – THAT IS NOT HOW COMMUNISM WORKS SERIOUSLY TINSLEY WHAT THE FUCK

MT – Hint: real raccoons are not that calm. Even the tame ones are insane and spastic. The only way this makes sense is if that one is about 0.2 seconds from scrambling up on his head and screeching like a maniac.

MW – Okay, this is the reason Mary looked weird yesterday: she’s an impostor. The real Mary would never say what she says in panel two.

NAOQV – One of the best punchlines I’ve seen in this strip.

PBS – Even if this storyline was only a lead-up to seeing the kitten in Rasta garb, it was still totally worth it.

Pibgorn – Now we finally, finally get to the kickass part.

Popeye – So after filching a plot from The Twilight Zone, we’re now going out on a remake of Horton Hears A Who. Okay…

PC – Does anyone else here follow Prickly City with any regularity? Does it seem to you that Carmen and Winslow have had their personalities switched this past week?

RMMD – This is probably the first time Rex has ever heard the words “she responds well to you.”
Daveh
September 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I can’t believe y’all are getting sucked into reading those Foob re-runs. If she wants to take the albums off the shelf and reminisce, I’ll be damned if I sit on the sofa with her.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
September 11th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

Today in Get Fuzzy: Apparently now Darby Connelly doesn’t even have to SHOW Bucky mispronouncing words, making horrific puns and hitting Satchel. He can just draw other characters TALKING about it. Ha ha freaking ha. If there isn’t a funny strip out of this comic by the end of the week I’m done with it.
moe99
September 11th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

I did not think that anyone could have been dumber and more clueless than I was when the significant other had his final affair in our marriage. But now there’s LuAnn. It’s more than painful watching her, it’s harmful to my health.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
September 11th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Marvin: Why is the second panel full of ripping and tearing sound effects, only to reveal in the third panel that Hulk baby has turned green, but his size is unchanged and his clothing is not, in fact, ripped or torn? Earlier in the week, Hulk baby actually grew when he turned into Hulk. Maybe he is only slightly angry, enough to make noises and change color but not enough for the full transformation?

Just get the week over with so we can go back to Belly Laffs, please?
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

commodorejohn @161 – Personalities? In Prickly City? I’m… not sure I’m following you here.
queek
September 11th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

True Fable, a lolgoat for you!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/funny-pictures-cat-has-a-kid.jpg
Goat
September 11th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

MT: Why did the deer have to die? It’s that pesky chronic wasting disease, related to mad cow disease, but with no known deer-to-human transmission… yet. Here, let’s handle this carcass and see if we can be the first two cases.
Guy in the Corner Cubicle
September 11th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

I can relate to Ted Forth.

I have no friends either.

sigh
Ned Ryerson
September 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

If Crazy prefers that brand of cartoon-y, drippy cheese pizza, and if he eats by grasping the crust end and shoving the pointed end in the vague direction of his mouth, and if he maintains that type of wooly facial hair….Crazy has one hell of a stank-ass, cheese encrusted beard.
Islamorada Girl
September 11th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

I love the way the Kindly Old Man is burying the deer corpse in MT.
Especially since I just passed a county highway employee on the road, who picked up a fresh and unidentifiable road kill and tossed it into the woods, rather than load it into the truck.

When you get a dead deer like that, with no explanation, like tire marks, you call the county animal control, and they come out and haul it away for a post-mortem in case it is something like mad cow disease.
Brick Bradford
September 11th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

DT Nice to see something knock the smug out of Dick. Given the look of sheer terror on his face I can’t imagine what it might be–a well drawn police detective?
Jon
September 11th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

A3G Is the plot SO boring that any change in the characters breathing rhythm is considered something importent for us to know?
No Stupid Bear
September 11th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Edda is Pennywise.
will
September 11th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Get Fuzzy really needs to change tack. The Bucky v. Obama routine is really tedious.
Islamorada Girl
September 11th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Okay. So Luanne and Toby made chocolate chip cookies. But they don’t know what to do with all the M&M shells.

[insert your dumb blonde joke here]
JB
September 11th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

174 – No Stupid Bear

No, dammit…no nightmares this time.

We went through this a couple of weeks ago, when Bob the Croc was stuck in the storm drain in PBS…
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

Dennis’s neighbor Mr. Wilson is striking the pose that I am henceforth going to refer to as “the Ian Cameron”.

Some free advice to men who are a bit bigger in the belly area (a group that I’m steadily becoming more of a member of): You don’t have to hike your pants way up.
Goat
September 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Josh, shouldn’t the “b” be capitalized in “bible study”?
Ned Ryerson
September 11th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Do you ever get that thing on your computer where you start trying to scroll down on a webpage that hasn’t quite composed itself on your display and you get a continuous series of repetitive horizontal images?

It happened to me just now looking at a Mary Worth strip and I grabbed a screenshot of it.

It’s like the gene sequence of Mary Worth: Kitchen Cabinets, Ugly Purple Blouse, Hideous Mustard Sleeve, Kitchen Cabinets, Microwave, Knives, Ugly Purple Blouse, Hideous Mustard Sleeve, Coffee Cup.
Batman Beatles
September 11th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

#174 – Or the clown doll in Poltergeist.
Miz Becki
September 11th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

#178 But if your pants are either up around your nipples or down past your crack because they don’t fit right at the waist, please feel free to hike ‘em up. Crack kills, man.
Miz Becki
September 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#180
Technically, Mary’s jacket color is “Baby Poop Yellow.” But both substances are close in hue.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

#82 Angry Kem, bookmarkt it posthaste.
Dean Booth
September 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

FW: If we’re lucky, Mark Trail will stop in at Montoni’s on his way to his next adventure. Hats, glasses, and hot cheese would fly! But even Mark couldn’t punch out the cancer.
lesles
September 11th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

#185 Dean Booth – he’d give it a red hot go, though. and i’m not totally convinced he wouldn’t succeed.

“damn hairy cancer!” ohh. i just had a flash of mark trail in planet of the apes. he’d go totally bunta.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

#180 Ned Ryerson – Wow. It’s like an abstract version of Mary Worth.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

P.S. And I’m not just tossing the term around for the hell of it; I truly believe that is a proper abstract representation of Mary Worth as a whole.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

#97 cheech wizard – I’m not trying to imply anything about real-world postal workers; I know a few who are extremely cool and perfectly normal. I’m just saying, mail carrier + Funky Winkerbean = only a matter of time.
Sobek
September 11th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Note Luann’s emphasis: “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for THIS skimpy woman’s shirt!” All the other skirts, pantyhose and purses are obviously just Alan’s usual late-night wardrobe (he assures her it’s just a comfort thing), but no way would Alan wear that hot pink monstrosity. He doesn’t have a single pair of shoes that would go with it.
NoVan
September 11th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Oh, and to all of you who are criticizing the lushness of the MT landscape, I should add that this comic shows up in black-and-white in my newspaper, and the greenery is probably only green because of the color-monkeys.
Baka Gaijin
September 11th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

#80 PeteMoss:

Speaking of skimpy women’s shirts – Hello, Cookie Bumstead! I’m betting she goes out with that dude Saturday night.

And goes out to Walgreens Sunday morning looking worriedly for some Plan B.
WarOfTheBees
September 11th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

The Funker-verse and a sausage slicer are a dangerous territory. Someone’s getting caught in that thing by the end of the year, mark my words.
dimestore lipstick
September 11th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn
A.D. – I have it on good authority from a friend that turtle mating is hilarious even without a joke about mistaking inanimate objects for females.

Okay, I read that and this Ogden Nash poem popped into my head:

The turtle lives ‘twixt plated decks,
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle–
In such a fix, to be so fertile.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

MFmore – Nice to see Mallard raised himself up from having no legs as a child to having stubby little pods he can walk around with. (“I wept because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no cock.” –Ed Bluestone)

PClub – Have the Mongolians started writing in yet?

RMMD – “We’re going to beat Tweaks tomorrow… and look good doing it!” At least until Rex’s brain cell kicks in and he figures out what’s going on. Then he’s going to beat cheeks out of there, and look like a runaway pool boy.
P
September 11th, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

Nancy: Bushmiller’s rolling in his grave. The people who “Republicanized” and “Southernized” this strip need to be let go by the syndicate.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

#194 dimestore lipstick – You can’t go wrong with Ogden Nash, but that’s one I’d never heard before. Funny!
Orange Doorhinge
September 11th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#170 Ned: That isn’t a beard!

#176 Girl: Save the shells to use as sprinkles a’la Heloise?

MW: Toby offers Mary a sip of coffee while Mary tries to punch Toby out?
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 11th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

NAoQVictoria – It’s a little obscure, but what I like about today’s exciting adventure is that the sound effect lettering (“ZIP”) in the last panel is clearly taken directly from an old “Krazy Kat” strip.
AhClem
September 11th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

#186 lesles -
“You stole a friend of mine’s pancreas!”
Sequitur
September 11th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

M Trail: Just what is that racoon doing? I can’t tell if it’s digging around in the guy’s breast pocket or it’s holding a post-it note and memorizing it’s lines for tomorrow’s strip.
lesles
September 11th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

#200 AhClem – damn! my best friend copped it from cancer in the pancreas (and through the rest of her guts) just a little while ago, and i didn’t even think about trying to get mark trail onto it. some friend i am.

though, he probably would’ve been too busy flying around in his goose or something. actually, i think he was mucking about with puppies.
mojo
September 11th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

I originally mistook LuAnn from A3G for Toby from MW. And consequently wasted five whole seconds of my life thinking “Alan? Who’s Alan? Is he the one who stole her identity? How did Ms Clueless find out his name so fast?”

And then when I realized it was LuAnn and Alan was her drug fiend boyfriend I started idly wondering Who Was Stupider: LuAnn or Toby?

I ultimately decided it was ME, for bothering to think about it in the first place.
thatquietkid
September 11th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

There is a logical explanation for that skimpy woman’s shirt. Actually, it’s more like a logical equation: Alan – Lu Ann + Skimpy Woman = Alan having sex with a skimpy woman behind Lu Ann’s back.
Comrade Denny
September 11th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Meanwhile in Tarzan, the Lord of Greystoke has been send on a mission by the U.S. military to rescue <a href=”http://comics.com/comics/tarzan/archive/tarzan-20080820.html”blonde, caucasian nurses from the threateningly negroid Moto-Moto tribe.

Fortunately for Tarzan, some the local Native Americans will be helping him.
gh
September 11th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Pluggers —

I totally don’t get this. I thought Plugger fuel injection was a glucose drip after triple-bypass surgery.

SlyFox —

Find six differences between these panels.

Or we’ll eat this dog.

MT —

The animals and plants can’t survive without water . . . and it’s being drained away!

There otter be a law!
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

#206 gh – There otter be a law!

Mark Trail is the law, man!
Mr. O’Malley
September 11th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark never should have trespassed in that beaver lodge! Now they’re out for blood…er, water!
JB
September 11th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

I wonder what would happen if the unstoppable Mark Trail Right Fist O’Justice met the unmovable bearded chin of Chuck Norris?

I’m betting this is *really* what the Large Hadron Collider is doing, isn’t it?
Rex Morgan, M.D.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

207. commodorejohn: …and otters have pretty distinctive whiskers, so I think we all know who’s responsible for this water shortage…
Sequitur
September 11th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Get Mark Trail, Chuck Norris and the duck and cat from Pearls together and they could clean up the comics…FAST!
McManx
September 11th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail — The flaw with this plot is not the drought element, but that a rural hick would pass up a fresh side of venison. I suspect the mound of dirt is covering the entrails — the carcass is in the back of the truck on its way to the local meat processor.
Rex Morgan, M.D.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

I’m a doctor. I know these things.
Mountain Mama
September 11th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

My New Yorker submission: “As you can see, the punishment for not following the CCRs is hell.”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
September 11th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

#180 Ned Ryerson:

It’s like the gene sequence of Mary Worth: Kitchen Cabinets, Ugly Purple Blouse, Hideous Mustard Sleeve, Kitchen Cabinets, Microwave, Knives, Ugly Purple Blouse, Hideous Mustard Sleeve, Coffee Cup.

Hooolarious! And may I point out that you are a twisted individual to first, get a screen cap, and then share it. In other words, you are brilliant! I salute you!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
September 11th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

#147 AfkaB:

I think we can thank our lucky stars that Mallard Fillmore didn’t remember to do a 9/11 ‘toon this year.

I’m sure there’s lots of forehead whacking going on today at Tinsley’s studio. Look for his 9/11 commemoration two weeks from now, in the fashion of Veteran’s Day 2007.

#143 Muffaroo-who-walks:

MTrail – I can practically hear the thoughts of those poor ol’ forest animals. “I can’t figure out how this happened! I’m not careless with water!”

When have we ever seen an otter that was careful with water? They flip, splash and frolic like they own the stuff! Crazy hedonistic bastards. They’re the forest mammal equivalent of those awful, awful teenagers in “Wild in the Streets.” Tsk.
Old School Allie Cat
September 11th, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

I strongly suspect that skimpy Haley left her shirt at Alan’s because she wants him to get caught.

As Freud said, “There are no accidents”.

But then, he probably never read FOOB.
odinthor
September 11th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

NYer Caption Contest — “Or perhaps you prefer that fixer-upper?”
Joe Blevins
September 11th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

A3G: “It’s easy to imagine Alan’s been avoiding me lately.” Yes, Luann, it’s easy to imagine things that are factual and obvious. In fact, that’s not really even “imagining,” in the strictest sense. It’s simply “being sentient.” So what you really mean is, “It’s easy to notice things that happen.”
Joe Blevins
September 11th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

Imagine there’s no Alan.
It isn’t hard to do.
No one to curl or dye for;
He’s been avoiding you.
commodorejohn
September 11th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

#219 Joe Blevins – Give her a break; she’s new to this “noticing” thing.
dale
September 11th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

pepperoni – 109
My favorite lawyer joke:

Why are laboratories switching from white rats to lawyers?
1) There are a lot more lawyers than rats.
2) Some people are concerned about the welfare of animals.
3) There are some things that a rat just won’t do.
Bookworm
September 11th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

In honor of Sept 11, a video to share – Why I Do What I Do.

And many prayers and thoughts for those in the path of Ike, already causing flooding along the Gulf Coast.
CanuckDownSouth
September 11th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

@222-dale

You forgot

2B) The researchers get less attached to the lawyers.
Mountain Mama
September 11th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

Here I am after a lot of reading to get caught up. Work has been busy lately, which is good, but I lose very valuable CC time.

Jamus, I noticed your absence and I welcome you back.

But where is SecretMargo? And Wille Thompson! Come back, guys!

Anyway, with Sam from JP being in my neck of the woods and thinking about this area, it all got mixed up in my mind and came back in the form of a song, courtesy of Gordon Lightfoot.

“Carefree Highway” a la JP

Pickin’ up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream,
I wonder how the home folks are tonight.
His name was Dewey and it’s screwy; I can’t recall his face.
He left me not knowin’ what to do.

Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The sprawl all over blues, from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, I can’t slip away
Slip away on you

Turnin’ back the pages to the times I love best
I wonder if she’ll ever do the same.
Now the thing that I call marriage is Abbey’s not satisfied,
And knowin’ that there’s only me to blame.

Carefree highway, let me slip away on you
Carefree highway, you seen better days
The sprawl all over blues, from my head down to my shoes
Carefree highway, I can’t slip away
Slip away on you

Searchin’ through the fragments of my dream-shattered sleep,
I wonder if my schemes have closed her mind.
I guess it must be ED or tryin’ not to feel;
I know what she wants, but it’s not on my mind.

(Chorus)

All rotten tomatoes can be thrown my way. I’m not nearly as good as the Paperbacked One.
Steve the Pocket
September 11th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Six Chix, usually an oasis of bizarre humor in the humorless wasteland that is the “funny” pages, managed to set off my Stupid Alarm today. The protagonist’s mood swing was wonky enough (“What a pleasant — oops, it’s 9/11, I’m not supposed to be happy today. Sorry, George!”), but the bird sharing in her misery just pushes it over the edge.

The good news is that it’s still bizarre.
Poteet
September 11th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

# 106 Uncle Lumpy & # 112 Spotted H0rse — HAR!!! I knew my late-night postings would result in mistakes some day, but this is ridiculous.
queek
September 12th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

226: note that its not just any bird, but the Dove of Peace. That’s what *really* hit my buttons.
Donkey Hotey
September 12th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

#12 Patrick – Yes, they’re very common in pizzerias.

http://www.mhs-schneidetechnik.de/engl/cws.htm
DocForbin
September 12th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! THAT FUNKY WINKERBEAN STRIP WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!! THE ASSHOLE RICHLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVED!!!!!!!!!! :-D

This is why once again Funky Winkerbean will always be funnier than Cleats (which thank God the Glens Falls [NY] Post-Star finally got rid of) and its equally unfunny replacement Tank McNamara. I’m still angry at asshole Ken Tingley for not listening to the people and intstead listened to his soccer-loving brat and decided not to bring back Funky Winkerbean.

Hopefully this will lead to a storyline where Crazy’s driven so crazy by Madison’s whinging and whining that he takes a gun to his head and blows his brains out. . .AND IT’LL BE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!! :-D

And I will continue to protest here until asshole Tingley brings back Funky Winkerbean, Mallard Fillmore, Wizard of Id, Beetle Bailey and For Better or For Worse, which despite what he and his bratty kid think are funny because adults know what’s funny and brats don’t.

CLEATS IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!

DEATH TO TANK MCNAMARA!!!!!!!!!!

LONG LIVE FUNKY WINKERBEAN!!!!!!!!!!

BRING BACK FUNKY WINKERBEAN TO THE GLENS FALLS [NY] POST-STAR NOW!!!!!!!!!! @-0
Charles
September 13th, 2008 at 7:10 am [Reply]

I found it kind of amusing that this kindly dad dug a grave for a wild animal.

Not if you’ve ever had a carcass anywhere near your house. It’s just common sense, unless you prefer to have your entire property, including your house interior, smell as bad as the foulest gas station men’s room in existence.
fairportfan
September 15th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

Haven’t got time to scan all of the comments, but “batching it” is rather the opposite of a neologism – it’s a phrase that’s so old it’s pretty well fallen out of use.

It does, indeed, mean living like a bachelor while the wife or SO is away – and dates at least to the first part of this century or (more likely) the previous one – it appears in Georgette Heyer’s Regency romances several times.
Sexy Clothing
October 20th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

I’m impressed with this info

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