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Backing up; backing down

Spider-Man, 5/11/13

After the serial failures of his high-tech missile, “hypno”-gas, and “adamantium” chains, Kingpin resorts to old-school methods of persuasion like threatening to stone-cold bash a woman’s face in. Spider-Man is quick to comply — but then, “not moving a muscle” is pretty much his core competence.

Dick Tracy, 5/11/13

So it looks like Dr. Sail here is reconstructing the actual Moon Maid (who died in a 1978 car crash), not just creating an imposter from scratch? This opens up a chance to revisit the action-packed Moon Strips of the 1960′s and 1970′s (the so-called “Dick Tracy Has Gone Totally Nuts” era). Does it also signal complications for Moon Maid’s nominal widower Junior Tracy, who got re-married (to Sparkle Plenty) after his first wife’s death?

Ha! As recently as two years ago (the “Late Bonkers” era), Dick Tracy would have resolved such petty conflicts by having a beloved character burned, crushed, blown up, brain-wiped, dismembered, or (my favorite) eaten. But how will the new Team Tracy handle it?

Perhaps the answer lies with the Moon-obsessed siblings introduced here. Stellaluna, named for a cute bat from a kids’ book, is probably OK. But I would keep an eye on Retik, ominously named for Commander Cody’s nemesis (“Retik, the Moon Menace”) in the classic 1952 serial Radar Men from the Moon. Will this new Retik re-kill a reanimated Moon Maid, saving Junior Tracy from inconvenience? Stay tuned!

Hey, Retik: if you’re short on ideas, I’m pretty sure “suffocated in the vacuum of space” and “vaporized by a meteor” are still available. Just sayin’.

Gasoline Alley, 5/11/13

Hm, Gasoline Alley supercentenarian Walt Wallet is hanging out at the “Comics Retirement Home” with characters like these from discontinued old-timey strips, leading one to think he might, I dunno, retire or something? Except that we’ve already been down this road, in 2006, and it came to nothing.

C’mon guys, it’s time to pull the trigger — this routine will only get even more embarrassing if you have to do it again in another seven years, when Walt is 120.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/11/13

Aw, look at Darin’s adorable pissy face! Do you suppose he broke his jaw trying not to smirk?



Hey, I’m subbing while Josh takes a break through Sunday May 19 — reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you have access or comment issues. Enjoy!

– Uncle Lumpy

190 responses to “Backing up; backing down”

  1. commodorejohn
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    The amazing thing is that Darin’s Angry Face is the most human-looking head-type thing I’ve seen on a Funky character in years.

  2. commodorejohn
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Also, with Fosdick involved, could we maybe hope for “pull the trigger” to be taken more literally than usual?

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    ZZZits — Jerky can only aspire to be one of the characters in Snuffy Smith.

    RMMD — Heather is meshuga for trying to get between a voracious pregnant woman and her dinner.

  4. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    Enlighten me: just how do you Americans go about “meeting with” or “visiting with” people, instead of just, you know, meeting or visiting them?

  5. Inkwell
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    UNCLE LUMPY! I forgot you posted late at night! Can I marry you, or are you so avuncular it would be incest?

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    GA — After an appearance by beloved Happy Days character Pottsy, The Fonz will show up to confirm what most of us have long suspected: Gasoline Alley has finally jumped the shark.

  7. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#3) on Zits: You make a good point.

  8. Droopy Says
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    If you want to get rich in the Spiderverse, don’t turn to crime. Go into dentistry. With the way these people grind their teeth under stress, you could make a fortune providing caps and crowns.

  9. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    Hey Beth! If you want to make your thought bubble come true, invest in a face pastie. Even if it’s a Cornwall pasty.

    Tommie Thompson got tickets. To something. The excitement is so thick you could cut it with a, a, something really dull. OK, got it: cut the excitement with a Tommie Thompson.

    Apartment 3-G is another good place for a cat on a Roomba in a shark suit.

    Why hasn’t Corporal ButtKisser disciplined Sarge for being out of uniform? A bright blue golf bag is against of Army Uniform Regulations. (AR 670-1 for those who are interested.)

  10. tymime
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Pepsi and Pete? Good God, those guys were mascots for Pepsi in the ’40s. I only know about them ’cause I read old DC funny animal books…

  11. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    When did the strip change its name to “Dennis the ButtKiss?”

    In the Marvinverse, the mayor’s opponent is going for the Plugger demographic (i.e. fat and don’t care).

    Um, Brookings? You put the wrong graphic with that Pluggers caption. It’s supposed to be the back bedroom with a rowing machine on the floor covered in dust bunnies, a treadmill draped with clothing, and a stationary bike draped with spider webs.

    Good way to parent, Diane. Instead of getting Curtis checked for sleep apnea, just stuff him in the bathtub.

  12. Ed Dravecky
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man has the proportional ability to rest motionlessly for hours of a spider, although spiders do it to lure in food while Peter Parker uses it mostly for Duck Dynasty marathons.

  13. Dale
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Cherry and Shelley run outside. The propane tank is in the remnants of the campfire.
    Try to Move it or Run?

    Anybody have a big yard or have the Mythbusters done this?

  14. Liam
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:51 am [Reply]

    MW-If it’s a happy ending that you want I know some massage parlors that do that.

  15. Alison
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:53 am [Reply]

    “Luann”: Wow, Delta and Bernice really hate Luann. (I mean, I hate Luann too, but I wouldn’t hang out with her and act like she was my friend, as Delta and Bernice do.) Is this a new development? Did they always have this much disdain for Luann? Yikes. Say what you will about Tiffany, but at least she’s upfront about the fact she doesn’t like Luann, instead of acting nicey-nice to her face and then trashing her when she’s not around, like these two-faced girls do.

    “Mary Worth”: I’m convinced! Beth and Tom are, indeed, a perfect match! Truly, it is not often you find two people who are both completely, insanely, unhealthily obsessed with each other after two or three brief meetings!

    “Funky”: I think it’s creepy that the woman in the third panel is acting coy and vaguely sexual in that last panel. What a weird time for that kind of thing. “Yeah, babe, you should talk to your estranged father. Mmm, that gets me so excited.”

  16. gleeb
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:55 am [Reply]

    Enjoy the film festival, Josh!

    Dick: Retik! That’s where ‘d heard it. I still think the new guys are going to pull the rug out from under this story yet again, but it’s nice to know they;re putting some thought into it while it lasts.

    3-G: Margo and Tommie are regular truck show fixtures.

    Curtis: Note to self: don’t visit the Wilkins’ place.

    Dennis: Extreme Oedipal overtones. Darkly menacing.

    ‘bean: OK, this I gotta hear. Durwood has made the intelligent decision to avoid the bio-dad who ran off on his mom, and Jessica is going to try to convince him otherwise, because otherwise the plot fizzles and none of the characters can make a Brave Stand and have a Big Speech. But there’s no argument that could be convincing, so Batiuk is going to have to squish something absurd through. This is going to be hilarious.

    Mark: It’s a comic about being lost in the woods that is paced gently enough for a moose to pass through.

    Mary: Exciting handjob action!

    Sequitur: Further proof that Wiley Miller is wrong about everything. Anchovies rule.

  17. Liam
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    Luann-”Yeah. We could’ve tied Luann to the bumper and drag her down the street.”

  18. Hibbleton
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Milton is fine; there’s nothing to worry about. Uh, btw, if you go shopping later, don’t buy any green bananas.

  19. Marc
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    MW/A3G- Congratulations Beth, thanks Tommie’s appearance, especially in panel 2 today, you are currently no longer the ugliest person in the comics pages. I have no doubt that you’ll try very hard to get that top spot back moving forward though.

  20. damanoid
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    I have to admit to a degree of honest, grudging respect for ‘Gasoline Alley.’ Who would have predicted that such wan, forgettable characters would endure so long, while so many more gifted strips have perished? A living fossil from the Golden Age of Comics, it survives by its perfect blandness. Generations of editors have decided to cancel the strip, then instantly forgot their decision.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    GA: Ha, Dick Tracy — you think YOU’re the master at pointlessly and embarrassingly bringing back everyone else’s comic character (and way too many of your own) for a cheap non-laugh? No, we are the foremost at that stuff! Even the old Sam’s Strip curses our doing that, and they were actually pretty good at it, too!

    FW: Does she have any idea Darin was the product of a date rape? Would even this strip go down that road? Probably not. I think….

    S-M: The circus suddenly gets really dangerous…

  22. Droopy Says
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I’m not sure what’s going on, but the wolf action makes me wish the first panel was much larger.

  23. bbofun
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    MW- I guess it’s good the potential stalkers have fallen for each other- at least no one else has to deal with them. (Seriously- more than 50% of new characters in this strip are instantly, intensely obsessed with whatever character of the opposite sex they’re introduced to. Is this how Karen Moy sees the world? Or is she just attempting to re-create Aldomania?)

    A3G- And Margo gets the slam in! (I’m hoping they’re tickets for a cake-decorating contest!) (And, hey, isn’t this suppose tp a LuAnn story? Man, she can’t even hold her author’s attention!)

    Phantom- It would be great if the next several weeks of strips were just the pilot wandering around, paranoid that the Phantom was after him. Or at least that when he does go after him, he finds him a shattered wreck of a man, grateful to finally be caught.

    RMMD- Apparently the “titty fairy” came really early for June.

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#16): hating on Wiley when I disagree with him wasn’t the problem. It’s hating on him when I AGREE with him that lead to me dropping NS.

    I’m much happier since that decision. :-D

  25. Anonymous
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    I can’t decide if today’s strips are published lovingly for newly awakened coma patients so they’ll see old, familiar faces.

    Or just ruthless strip-mining the past and peddling the nostalgia before the newspaper industry finally collapses.

  26. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    Doones – I can forgive all the partisan hackery this strip sometimes plunges into because it gives me moments like today, with Zonker sitting in Walden Pond again.

  27. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: . . .Munich, everyone’s talking about, Pop Music!

    LaCuc: that’s one of the better eye test gags I’ve seen in ages.

    SBp: weeeeeeeaaaaak.

    Zits: photobomb meme, how topical. also, I really don’t want to think too much about that final question. . . .

    Bizaro: he eats shoots and leaves, right?

    JUMBLE: if the answer is what I think it is, I am amused.

    Shelter Week: hnnnnggggghh! right to the feels.

    PMP: ooooKAY! two-for-two on eye test gags. alsp, possibly nsfbg.

    RwO: *fliptake* I LUFF EEET! *saved*

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .radio, radio, radioactive.

  29. Gotta Be Downpuppy
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Why, why, WHY couldn’t the moose crash through Tom’s kitchen instead?
    Sarah Morgan is ready for a couple of moose chased by wolves.

    The moose stampede could be the new Count Weirdly through a hatch.

  30. Withering Heights
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#4): I think it’s due to all the German and Nordic immigrants the US had early in our history, their linguistic influence.

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

  32. Rusty
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#15): She is aroused by Darrin’s first ever display of emotion.

  33. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    For those of you who follow my strip, it’s updated. However, today’s strip might be distressing to many people, and therefore reader discretion is advisable.

  34. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    @Withering Heights (#30): Yes, I’ve said often enough that the language you use in the US has evolved to separate tongue, closely related but no longer identical to English.

  35. Mibbitmaker
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    JP: When Sam gets curious/concerned, static electricity emits from his face. That just makes things more unnerving in tense situations.

    MW (this might be considered an oversnark, but I’ll post it anyway):
    Hey, lovers, just you two get together already and spare other people you.

    MT: And nature just becomes more detestable for City Gal.

    A3G: “Oh, Margo, shut up!”

    Popeye: Beastiality?! Really, Olive???

  36. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#13): Why would they have a campfire if they have a propane stove? Just asking.

    @Alison (#15) on Luann: Bernice frequently shows Luann her colors. Luann’s too self-involved to realize Bernice is cutting her down verbally. It wouldn’t surprise me that Bernice returns Luann’s dildoes unwashed.

    @Droopy Says (#22): Real moose fighting wolves in the southern part of the [Alaskan] state.

    @bbofun (#23) on Mary Worth: Aldomania? This isn’t even reaching the excitement levels of “rainbow swirl ice cream.” I’m talking about the frozen confection, not the storyline.

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#33): Does it contain EVILSCARYCLOWNS? I’m not clicking on the link in case it contains EVILSCARYCLOWNS.

  37. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#36): OK, I’ll try and work one in next time for you. Especially for you. Bwahahahaha, am I a terrorist or what.

  38. NonnyMus
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Wait. If ‘Dr.’ Lauren is a trained police officer how did she let Kingpin get close enough to grab her? And why did he grab her instead of using his magic stickpin gas on her? And how is it that she isn’t stomping on his instep or elbowing his testicles right now?

    Does he have super fatness powers or something?

  39. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#37): Or what. An EVILSCARYCLOWN terrorist, the worst kind of terrorist there is.

  40. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    MT – Who lugs 20 pound propane tanks with them on a primitive caming trip deep in the wilderness? That’s why they make small one pound propane cylinders for packing in and out on these type of camping trips. Sure, they arrived by plane but WHO would want to lug a 20 pound propane gas tank on a small plane anyway? Maybe Wes and Shelley would do something as stupid as that but Cherry and Mark should know better! Afterall, these people are not camping in a Walmart parking lot with their 40 foot long RV motor home!

    ///Also, any competent camper would SHUT OFF THE TANK’S VALUE before going to sleep just as most people would turn off their gas grill’s propane tank, not just turn off the burners. Furthermore…if that tank actually ends up exploding for any reason other than, say, rolling into an open fire pit left unattended, I’d immediately contact the tank’s manufacturer since, for more than 15 years now, the new propane tanks have a valve designed to shut off the pressurized gas supply once disconnected.
    …..oh, they have their campsite on the TRAILVERSE side of Slumber Mountain….never mind!

  41. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#39): Why, thank you, kind Gaijin.

  42. TheDiva
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    FW: Whew, that was close! Someone almost did something simple, sensible, and not needlessly melodramatic!

    SM: This is a competition to see who can be the most useless and incompetent, isn’t it?

  43. Sparkle Plenty
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    FW: Is Frankie producing the film about Lisa?

  44. Gotta Be Downpuppy
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#34): I use “meet” to mean first introduction, &” meet with” as a scheduled appointment.

    “Visit with” sounds wrong. The “with” needs to have an indirect object, like “visit my abandoned rape baby with my henchman”.

  45. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MT – (Meanwhile, while paddling a leaky canoe across a nearby lake not too far from somewhere on the southern slopes of Slumber Mountain, two desperate men hear an explosion):
    “Mark! Did you hear THAT?!”

    “Sure did, Wes. LOOK at that fireball rising above the tree line! Must have been quite a big chunk of meteorite to cause that, or maybe it was lightning. Whatever, these things happen inthe wilderness. Just part of experiencing Mother Nature it her best, Wes!”

    “But, but judging, from the direction the blast came from, THAT looks like the exact spot where our campsite is, Mark!”

    “WAS, Wes. Where our campsite WAS. *sigh* Time to move on, Wes. It’s a long paddle back to Lost Forest!”

  46. TheDiva
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: If you’re trying to paint a picture of a greedy, callous healthcare industry, you shouldn’t make Crankshaft the victim.

    Luann: Does anyone other than Evans actually like his title character?

    MT: Let’s see, what other horrible events can we put Shelly through to ensure she never, ever sets foot out of an urban area again and pours all her money into logging and strip-mining? I know, a forest fire!

    MW: She is talking in the “Asian massage” sense, right?

  47. Droopy Says
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#36): Thanks; that wolf attack was spectacular. (And just one more example that wolves are smart–the photographer would have been easier prey, but wolves only seem to attack humans when they think nobody will notice.) (Or maybe we just don’t taste good.)

  48. PriceCheck
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    I personally think those are two hilarious poses for the press to find Daredevil and Spider-man in once they arrive on the scene.

  49. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    MT – (Monday morning’s edition of the LoFo Gazette features a cover photo of a soot and ash covered Shelley Thompson with moose tracks across her torso and a crazed look on her face along with her quote in bold letters above the photo), “WILL I EVER GO CAMPING AGAIN!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FU_KING KIDDING ME!!”

  50. Jim in Wisc.
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Baitle Beeley, Blandie, and Hi(gher than a Kite) & Lois: Must be golf joke Saturday.

    Melonhead Circus: And we all know Jeffy prefers answer #2 because he’s a selfish little pig.

    Crankenschäft: “By the way, here’s you’re bill.”

    Mary Worthless: What a bizarre and demented idea of romance these two have.

    Cherry Trail, Outdoorswoman: No!!! Not the PROPANE camp stove!!! How is Cherry GOING to make tea IN THE MORNING!!!

  51. Liam
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”If there is a pipe around here I can knock myself out by backing into it.”

    FW-”Men who reunite with the men who raped their mothers is such a turn on for me.”

  52. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @tymime (#10): those guys were mascots for Pepsi in the ’40s

    Indeed. The “Gasoline Alley” timeline is a complete mindfuck for me, because my dad, born in 1927, grew up with Skeezix, who was older than him. He always talked about Skeezix as the cartoon character on his toys and board games when he grew up. Dad’s been dead nearly 13 years and not only is Skeezix still alive, but Skeezix’s adopted father is too, and more perky than most 70-year-olds.

    Those cops also remind me of one of dad’s “Old Maid” sets — one of the characters in his set was called “Cop Emoff.” Ha ha wait I don’t get it.

  53. Mikey
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    FW-but Darin!he must be your dad He looks just like you and he has the same smirk! Wait a sec…nevermind

  54. Mikey
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Luann- After this arc I’m even hoping for more Shannon..anything but this..anything God! Are you listening?!!

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    my online productivity is suffering greatly from a small white dog being a total attention whore. Hard to type when one hand is devoted to scratching ears, or when your mouse-elbow is being pawed at.

  56. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#38): despite his bulk, the Kingpin is all muscle, and a trained HtH combatant. He tosses sumotori and ninjas around as pre-breakfast workouts.

  57. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#54): Evans already thinks he’s god. Please don’t encourage him.

  58. Johnny Q
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Actually, Moon Maid was killed by a car bomb meant for Tracy, like Al Pacino’s first wife in THE GODFATHER.

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    o, and something that I forgot to mention yesterday:

    Jeph drew a corgi!!!

    (Friday’s QC panel. also features Shelby and some other dogs.)

  60. The Ridger
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#4): Pretty much the same you guys “agree” something instead of “agreeing on” or “agreeing with”, I imagine.

  61. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: a plugger doesn’t even know what “aerobic” means. They are morbidly obese, one and all.

  62. A-wel Cruiz
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Blondie, Henry, Hi & Lois, Beetle Bailey: What is this, golf day or something?

  63. the REAL Mark Trail
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): just wait, Diva… just wait. I’m not through with Shelley yet!

    @Illustrator Steve (#40): C’mon Steve, I’m trying to put an entertaining and action filled story togethere here… but hey, now that you mentioned SLUMBER MOUNTAIN… well, I don’t want to reveal too much now… just HANG ON!

    @Dale (#13): we’ll see how it going to work Dale… stay tuned

  64. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#45): COTW contender if we had a COTW this week.

    @TheDiva (#46) on Luann: Yes, Mini-Elvis. God knows why.

    @Droopy Says (#47): I’d bet he was using a long lens, standing a quarter mile from the action. I know were I going into areas infested with dangerous wildlife to take pictures, I’d have a lens as big as my arm. I’m no Rusty Trail. I don’t have the proportional scare-ability power of a deformed mutant.

    @Illustrator Steve (#49): Another COTW contender. Mark Trail is really inspiring you today.

    @Mikey (#54): You say this during every storyline except those with Shannon. Then you’re all like, “anyone but Shannon.” Don’t worry, you’re just voicing what we’re all thinking.

    @A-wel Cruiz (#62): I’m not sure but I think this is Golf Day.

  65. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth (minus Mary!)

    “You know, Tom Adonis, if you proposed to me, or just asked me out on a second date, I would stop writing romance novels and instead choose to become your baby-o-matic infant dispenser” *eye twinkle*

    “You know, Beth, consider me in an astronaut. Not because you’re out of this world and I’m right here with you. No. Not because of that. I just need to get some tang, Beth. Tang!

    “Oh wait! You thought I would propose to you? Hahaha Whatever gave you….where did that ring come from? Why am I on my knees? Good god, girl! Did Mary Worth teach you how to lace your otherwise bland looking vittles with something that would induce a man to beckon nuptials?

    “Gotta get out of here! Claustrophobic! Can’t breath! I bet you want you mother to live with us, don’t you? Whoa! Whuuuup!”
    CRASH!

    “Oh! My achin’ back! Why did I let Wilbur talk me into joining the Mayo the Month Club? Jars of Mayo everywhere! Not just as lube for my derrière. Not for the balogna that I keep in the frididaire!

    “Who will suck this mayo off of me?”

    “Tom, if you make me your wife, I will suck Mayo off of you til death do us part!”

    “GASP! Beth, that’s just what I needed to hear! Get on over here girl and start sucking!”

    (somewhere in another condo, Mary Worth spies the scene on her CC camera set up. She nods with approval and now she and Doctor Jeff will have a tape to get them in the mood (for whatever those two freaky old folks do when they are alone!))

  66. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#65):

    (somewhere in another condo, Mary Worth spies the scene on her CC camera set up. She nods with approval and now she and Doctor Jeff will have a tape to get them in the mood (for whatever those two freaky old folks do when they are alone!))

    My guess is they meddle in each other’s bizness! If ya know what I’m saying!

  67. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#65): The only freaky things that couple does behind closed doors is watching “Matlock” while eating salmon squares. With their salad forks! Salad forks. Freaky.

  68. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Gotta Be Downpuppy (#44): @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#34): I “visit” a location, but “visit with” someone, especially if it’s a longer chat, as when I go to see the homebound members of the church.

  69. Dale
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#36):

    MARK TRAIL

    The propane stove is for cooking. The campfire is for light, heat, and a general feeling of comfort (keeping the wolves away).

  70. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#69):

    With their husbands missing, wouldn’t a campfire have been a good idea?

    Maybe Mark and Wes would camp down for the night and not see the fire but if there was some light and smoke, it could have helped.

    Unless, keeping a campfire going all night is not permitted? (I’ve done it; let it burn down through the night)

  71. Anonymous
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

  72. Morgan Wick
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#12): COTW contender!

    Fearless Fosdick? Isn’t he a parody of Dick Tracy from Al Capp’s classic Lil Abner? You get the sense that the folks in the Cartoon Retirement Home are waiting for Dick almost as much as Walt; sure, Walt must be one of the oldest people in the world now, but at least they know why he won’t stay there for good; no one, and I mean no one, knows why Dick Tracy is still being published. I mean, for chrissakes, they’re reliving the freaking Moon era now! They’ve started to lapse into the same wallowing in pointless nostalgia that’s the only reason the Retirement Home exists in the first place! WHY WON’T IT JUST DIE ALREADY?!?!?

  73. Poteet
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#71): That was me. A little too wowed.

  74. Poteet
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    S-M — The real super-power Kingpin displays is being able to eat about half a wheelbarrow of food per day and still walk around without his heart exploding. He’s no looker, but I still think he could sell his diet program if he tried.

  75. Morgan Wick
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @tymime (#10): Forgot to add: with Pepsi and Pete involved, you can tell they’re really desperate for a real cop like Tracy to move in.

  76. Poteet
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL — I’ve been on pastures. I own a former pasture. A decent pasture is covered with grasses and often some forbs. If you bury something in it, you can usually find the burial spot a couple of days afterward if you are willing to walk around and use your eyes because you will see (no surprise) a patch of bare dirt amid the green vegetation. A pasture that is actually muddy enough that you can’t find where you bury something is probably a pasture that has suffered some kind of minor natural disaster causing the grass to be obliterated or is a mismanaged eroding poor-quality pasture. I’d bet the latter in this case. Which is a very long-winded way of saying again that everyone in this storyline except the cattle is a jerk.

  77. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Five. There are five golf jokes in my feed this morning. Also, a baseball joke, two Mother’s Day jokes and two moose. Do moose play golf?

    Mary Worth: Huh huh huh. She said “happy ending.” Huh huh huh.[*]

  78. Liam
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    While reading the comics in my newspaper today I noticed there were five comics using golf jokes.

  79. KreatureFeatures
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#38): Also note the expression of dismay on Dr. Lauren’s face, as if to say, “Who could have foreseen that my pulling a gun on violent criminal would turn into a such a frightful situation?!”

  80. Poteet
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    FW — “You’d BETTER meet with me, Son, or I’ll see to it that your dead sainted mother is portrayed in the film as the biggest slutbag that ever lived in Ohio! I’ll make sure the film title is ‘Lisa’s Story, The Tale Of A High-School Whore’! I’ll do it because contrary to all the rules of logic and common sense, I’m JUST THAT DERANGED AND POWERFUL! So you’d better meet me and love me madly, or else!!”

  81. KreatureFeatures
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#79): I hate it when the article “a” wanders off into a different spot in my sentence.

  82. Poteet
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#4): Sorry I can’t help, except to say that in my part of America, the use of prepositions has gone bonkers in general. In media of all kinds, they are increasingly used interchangeably. “To,” “from,” “for,” “with”, “at”, who cares? Just stick some short little word in there to connect the parts of the sentence and move right along. It drives me crazy, but apparently I’m one of the few.

  83. greghousesgf
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#52): maybe there should have been one named Cop Afeel?

  84. MySpoonIsTooBig
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Mutts- :( WHY DID I READ THAT IT SAID ‘SHELTER STORIES’ I SHOULD HAVE GONE BACK WHILE I HAD THE CHANCE

  85. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#84): Yup. Shelter Stories Week is as tearjerking as an “appeals for Africa” informercial without all the begging for money.

  86. Mars
    May 11th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @tymime (#10): I wondered why one of them was named “Pepsi.” I wonder if the copyright is still valid. Not that Scancarelli cares; he put Batman in a strip once.

    Anyway, it sounded like Lumpy didn’t know, but ever since Scancarelli took over the strip (back in the 80′s) Walt has periodically visited really old comic characters for cameos only a handful of people as old as him will get. I saw this kind of thing back in 1989.

  87. Uncle Lumpy
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Mars (#86):

    Yeah, seen it all along — I used to like it when the old characters showed up, ’cause it meant relief from Rufus and Miz Melba for a while.

  88. DreadedCandiru2
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80): Well, you’ve saved us from having to actually READ the strip for most of the year; that’s because Batiuk is going to ambush logic from behind, slit its throat and leave it to die in a gutter…..again.

  89. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    MT – I, for one, applaud the edgy decision to make Propane Camp Stove an important secondary character.

  90. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#89): And Zippy says: “Propane Camp Stove! Propane Camp Stove! Propane Camp Stove!

  91. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    DT – Retik the Menace will put a frog in Mysta’s sock drawer, stomp through her flower bed, and pester her to bake cookies for him.

  92. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#89): The propane camp stove displays a wider range of emotions that the title character. No wonder it’s about to get destroyed.

  93. the REAL Mark Trail
    May 11th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#89): doing what I can, Peanut… doing what I can!

  94. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#4): Oh dear. If you’re flummoxed such minor variants, how are you ever going to master expressions like “I’m going to the store. You wanna come with?”

  95. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#93):

    To be honest and not snarky, that’s where the Sunday Trails suck. Something happens on Saturday and you gotta wait til Monday (MONDAY–Mundane? Ordinary? Never! Day)

    If something like Propane Camp Stove falling over is going to result in….

    That’s a cliffhanger that it takes a while to remember. I do feel sorry for the people who didn’t read Saturday’s strip.

    In general, I like the idea of wolves chasing game and the game trying to throw stuff into the wolves’ path.

  96. Calico
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Wow, Bringing up Father, or Daddy Lots ‘O Cash? That IS a blast from the past!
    (What was his real name?)

    I like Stellaluna’s look – she looks like a quasi-Manga June Morgan.

  97. Calico
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#89):
    Checkhov’s Propane Camp Stove ™ ?

  98. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @tymime (#10): the Pepsi-pouring visages of Pete and Pepsi are painted BIG on the side of the NYNY casino in Las Vegas (I saw it yesterday morning while driving down the Strip — kinda wondered if they might have names…so this is Way Cool!).

  99. Calico
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    “What do you wish for, Tom?”
    “Oh, the same, so let’s get to work now!”

    Blondie – Haha, Trebuchon golf with Brunswick’s best! Now I just need some tips from Hagar…

    3G – “My Mom finally got tickets so we can go see that little asshole doppelganger of mine, Justin Bieber! Squeeeeeaaaaal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    DtM, Aw, sweet. Definitely non-menacing, unless Dennis has just robbed a bank.

    Snuf – Baby, we were born to run.

    Buckles – my big B & W cat Ren did this to me the other day in bed. Probably TMI, but he did help release some trapped air in my belly. *Boof!*

    CS – Madrigal music is playing…

    Marvin – looks like Gran is saying “my felid with the Mayor” – wow, are they having some sort of affair?

    Henry – hey, bald is sexy, right H?

  100. Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes it’s hell being Thel.

    And Mommy just needs a little break…

  101. Calico
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#98):
    Heh, kind of like Thomson and Thompson (Dumond and Dupont in the original French Tintin).
    I now have an idea for some fanfic involving Mary Worth conducting a murder investigation a la Angela Lansbury, with either these two old-timey cops or the two French detectives “assisting” her.

  102. Calico
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex (#100):
    “Just like Christmas, amirite Mommy?”

  103. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#9): It’s no Apt. 3-G, but I think this is an improvement

  104. Baka Gaijin
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#103): I approve this mashup!

  105. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#104): I’m getting better at this. And by “this,” I mean “frittering away my life.”

  106. Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex
    May 11th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#105): mmm… fritters… mmm…
    // Fritter on, man!

  107. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    JP: awwww right! Tuaregs! Blue Men! Just like in Apt. 3G backgrounds!

    @gleeb (#16): tru dat re: anchovies. They make me wince and make faces, and I love them on pizza! (and some other stuff, too!)

    @Rusty (#32): she is desperate to maintain the status quo of misery in Westview.

    MT: HOLY MOLEY! I’m out of it for a little while, and everybody gets delusions of action! Shelley panics! Cherry makes tea! Wes hobbles! Mark breaks and enters! Bighorns laugh! Wolves chase prey! Moose Mom goes nuts! Whew…I must lie down… (good going!).

    @Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex (#100): eww. (And I like it. :)

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#103): okay…you’ve made the leap…I can’t save .gifs half the time…doing animation astonishes me.

    So, here I am, speculating on what would drive a person to pursue what is often a dangerous and lonely vocation

  108. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#63): Sorry, didn’t mean to rile you up. Seeing that 20 pound propane tank just got me caught up in some flashbacks involving the inapropriate use of propane tanks by some incompetent fellows a long time ago. No big deal, nothing that would let me lose any sleep over in another twenty or thirty years.

    //if it makes you feel any better, James, I still see your artwork as a vast improvement from what the strip was like before you showed up. Keep up the good work! :-)

  109. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): THANK you and THANK you again and again and again!

  110. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): “Mark Trail is really inspiring you today.”

    Thanks. As I heard a lady with a heavy French accent once say, “I’m on a ROLLER!”

  111. Jim in Wisc.
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#21):

    FW: Does she have any idea Darin was the product of a date rape? Would even this strip go down that road? Probably not. I think….

    Oh, yes it will. Tommy has already said there’s a date rape retcon coming up.

  112. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    S-M: “In fact, now’s a good a time as any for a nice Spidey-nap.”

    DT: Yes folks, when you name your kids when you’re high, the aftereffects last through their lives.

    MW: You know the sexual revolution has gone pretty far when two Charterstone wallflowers are openly discussing hand jobs.

    C-Shaft: “And if it were really, really serious we’d let nature run its course in the waiting room and rifle through your wallet.”

    Popeye: You know, I’m pretty sure this isn’t even the first time Olive’s mulled over bestiality. I think the gorilla could do better, though.

    JP: Emergency or no emergency, when Sam steps through the door, somebody had better be ready to trace his silhouette on the wall.

    Garfield: Liz isn’t into accordion paraphilia, I guess.

    H&L: Of course Hi and Lois have no problem letting Thirsty swing a 9 iron past their baby daughter’s head. Lois has a tapestry that readsd “Should have stopped at three kids.”

    Phantom: Some of us write reminder notes on a Post-It pad, some of us save things in an iPhone or Blackberry, some of us have a munchkin with a lampshade on his head.

    Shoe: If I were Cosmo I think I’d have just ordered a slice of pie, not asked how long it would theoretically take to get one. And then Roz’s neologism would be tragically lost to history.

    Lockhorns: Leroy doesn’t want it getting out that his wood isn’t working.

    A3G: Oh how I’d love to see a monster truck rally in Apartment 3-G Mainly because I know the crowd would be made up of blue people in three piece suits and Sunday dresses.

  113. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107):

    JP: awwww right! Tuaregs! Blue Men! Just like in Apt. 3G backgrounds!

    I look forward to the innovative percussion.

  114. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#78): Only five? Damn, Titleist must be behind on payments.

  115. Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107):

    So, here I am, speculating on what would drive a person to pursue what is often a dangerous and lonely vocation…

    Bwahaha!
    And what would drive Wes and Shelly to pursue a dangerous and lonely vacation?

    // Thanks! blub… blub… blub… (Thel thanks you too!)

  116. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    MT – Chaos ensues as Moose run rampent thru the campsite overturning propane stoves while trying to outrun a pack of VILLAINOUS WOLVES, followed by RUSTY TRAIL WITH MARK’S FAVORITE BIG CAMERA LENS, who is desperately trying to not get himself kidnapped today while taking pictures of these beautiful wildlife creatures who are all desperately trying to run away from his hideous face.
    …Once Shelley sees Rusty, she too joins the animals by trying to make a run for it!
    …Cherry stays behind to clean up the mess and make some tea on a propane stove!

  117. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#15):

    Say what you will about Tiffany, but at least she’s upfront about the fact she doesn’t like Luann, instead of acting nicey-nice to her face and then trashing her when she’s not around, like these two-faced girls do.

    Further proof that just as Milton was of the Devil’s party and didn’t know it, so too is Evans of Tiffany’s party. Okay, so the Prince of Darkness has a better party.

  118. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): It’s easy once you know what you’re doing. GIMP will take a .gif and open it as layers. From there, it’s just a matter of setting the frame and copying and copying and copying and copying and copying…It takes patience more than anything, including artistic skill. You’re still way ahead of me on that front…

  119. Uncle Lumpy
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#96):

    1 and 2 are Jiggs and Maggie from Bringing up Father, 5 and 6 are Pepsi spokescops Pepsi and Pete, 6 is Pottsy from the eponymous strip by Jay Irving (father of author and Howard-Hughes-scamster Clifford Irving!), 7 is Al Capp’s Dick Tracy parody Fearless Fosdick from the L’il Abner strip-within-a-strip.

    Anybody got ideas about 3 and 4?

  120. Amos Snarkadder, Curmudgeon Farm, Howling, Sussex
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#112):

    MW: You know the sexual revolution has gone pretty far when two Charterstone wallflowers are openly discussing hand jobs.

    Well, Beth does seem to be stroking Tom’s hand. Maybe Beth is as clueless as Dawn Wiener in Welcome to the Dollhouse.
    “Wanna see my fingers?”

  121. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119): Dunno about 3 and 4, but where’s Ignatz Mouse to chuck a brick when you need him?

  122. Spokesperson for Propane
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    MT: Hey! Watch it!

  123. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    MT – “It must be this thin air up here on Slumber Mountain, Cherry – but I swear I just saw two skeletons wearing UPS uniforms riding on the backs of two moose who were being chased by VILLAINOUS WOLVES!”

    “It’s no big deal, Shelley, so go back to sleep. Mark and I see that very same exact thing every time we come up here on Slumber Mountain. They especially like to rial up any new campers, especially campers who have never camped before. It’s all part of the fun of the all around cvamping experience, Shelly!”

    “I think I have had just about enough of this camping experience crap!”

    “Oh, don’t quit on us now, Shelley…at least wait until the T-Rex stomps his way thru our campsite at precisely 4:am. Yup, you can set your watch by the old T-Rex of Slumber Mountain!”

    (Shelley): “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

  124. Shrug, Being Catty
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Leftover yestersnark:

    ARLO AND JANIS: The obvious caption would be “Ludwig can’t come to the phone right now — he’s in the can.”

  125. sporknpork
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    For the next week, I look forward to Spiderman presenting us with the highest-stakes game of red light/green light ever.

  126. Ukulele Ike
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy: #3 is Paw Perkins from Polly and her Pals, one of the greatest strips of all time. #4 would be, I think, from the tin-can hat, Happy Hooligan.

  127. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Damn, Cherry – about the only thing I haven’t seen running through our campsite is a locomotive!”

    “Hang on, Shelley, the ONE FIFTEEN EXPRESS is due to pass through here over the old Canadian Pacific tracks next to our tent any second now”

    (Shelley): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

  128. Uncle Lumpy
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#126):

    Thank you, and right you are! Blondie archetype Polly and Her Pals here, and Happy Hooligan here. Tin can — doh! I was all over the Internet looking for “fez.”

  129. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    MT – As the WILD BEASTS OF THE NIGHT run rampant through their campsite, Cherry had ironically been playing “Helter Skelter” from the Beatles white album on her crank up Victorola ™ .

  130. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#118): I feel better about the copying and copying and copying part…that’s pretty much what I have to do with Adobe Illustrator (I *think* that’s the one I use). Probably the “patient” part causes me to short circuit.

    Meanwhile, in static and yet intriguingly dynamic still rather boring Aprt. 3-G…

  131. Ukulele Ike
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#128): Yer welcome. I own and often re-read the 1990 Kitchen Sink Press Polly and her Pals Complete Color Sundays 1925-27, and am contemplating buying the monster IDW volume from 2010. One of my all-time favorite comics. Hooligan, I know from the big 1970′s Smithsonian collection of American comic strips.

    Actual in-the-brain stuff trumps the Internet any old time. Until, of course, it doesn’t.

  132. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    MT – SCARED MOOSE being chased by VILLAINOUS WOLVES being chased by TRMT HIMSELF!

    ///TRMT takes charge of the situation by sitting all of the story’s caracters down around their campfire to have a pep talk. TRMT starts by reminding the moose and wolves that they were NOT supposed to enter the story line until AFTER Mark and Wes return to camp.
    (TRMT mutters:”….Damn summer theater staffing agency!!”)

  133. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    MT – (A few months have passed and a good friend of Shelley’s explains the two black eyes she recently received).

    “I mean, all I asked her was, HOW DID YOU LIKE CAMPING, SHELLEY?”

  134. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    MT – At this point, I think the ONLY person on earth that would have anything seriously negative to say about TRMT’s work on this story would be Shelley Thompson! (The rest of us like you, TRMT!)

  135. Hank Hill
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Spokesperson for Propane (#122): You got that right. If I’d known how that Trail fellow was going to use it, I never would’ve sold him that propane and propane accesories, I tell you what!

  136. Jeff Boomhauer
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Hank Hill (#135): Yup. Dang ol’ propane, man.

  137. jim, some guy in iowa
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#111): does *darin* know he’s supposed to be the result of date rape?

    (envisions cast of ‘funky winkerbean’ looking at scripts and despairing)

  138. Liam
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Wait is that one step together or one step from each of us. This is so confusing it’s easier to not move at all.”

  139. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119): The can on his head suggests #4 is Happy Hooligan.

  140. the REAL Mark Trail
    May 11th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): as I said… doing what I can! :)

    @Illustrator Steve (#108): thank you Steve, thank you very much!

    @Illustrator Steve (#134): again, THANK YOU!

    I have been given the go-ahead to do “THAT STORY”… all of you … STAY TUNED

  141. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @tymime (#10): Pepsi and Pete? Good God, those guys were mascots for Pepsi in the ’40s. I only know about them ’cause I read old DC funny animal books…

    Yeah, but where’s Captain Tootsie when you need him?

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#52): Those cops also remind me of one of dad’s “Old Maid” sets — one of the characters in his set was called “Cop Emoff.” Ha ha wait I don’t get it.

    My Old Maid set (of more recent vintage) has a cop character called “Boo Kim Danno.” ALOHA-HA-HA!

  142. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#yyy161): “I’ll bet they have BIGHORNED PENGUINS!!!”

    yes, yes they do.

  143. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#126), @Uncle Lumpy (#128): Oops! Sorry, didn’t see those comments before I posted mine.

  144. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#142): I like how the feet look like they haven’t been put on quite right…

  145. Zerowolf
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: Silly Beth, “happy endings” only happen over at 9 Chickweed Lane

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#96): …Daddy Lots ‘O Cash? That IS a blast from the past! (What was his real name?)

    I assume you’re referring to Oliver “Daddy” Warbucks.

    @Shrug, Being Catty (#124): ARLO AND JANIS: The obvious caption would be “Ludwig can’t come to the phone right now — he’s in the can.”

    But Ludwig’s can-do attitude is why people love him.

  147. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    New Tu’i pics up on my tumblr.

    here and here.

  148. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#144): penguins are like that. :-)

    playing with layers iz such fun. :-D

  149. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#118): yup. just frame by frame.

    or, as Bob Ross put it, “layer after layer after layer.”

    *believes he can do it.*

  150. Jim in Wisc.
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#137): Not sure. I try not to clog up my brain with Winkerbean minutiae. Anyone got an answer? When Durwood finally found out St. Lisa was his mommy (just before she shuffled off with Masky McDeath) how much did she tell him?

  151. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

  152. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @ 94. Peanut Gallery

    Keep ‘em coming.

  153. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

  154. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @ 142. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii
    Commando

    It looks horny. Or maybe, blowing its own horn, it’s about to horn in on someone’s hornswoggling.

  155. Uncle Lumpy
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#94) and @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#152):

    If you’re ever stuck for a preposition, follow the Silicon Valley – HP – Stanford practice and use “around”, as in “… deploying new digital resources around vertical market initiatives to create new value systems around partner incentive management solutions.” It’s the ideal preposition, conveying that the two phrases are somehow in the same conceptual neighbo(u)rhood, but without the hard work of specifying an actual relationship.

  156. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#139): So, that is a can on his head. I was going to go with that or with a fez!
    That’s Happy Holligan? I thought he’d look more like a rough houser.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119):

    In going through the wikipedia and trying to figure out who is who–prior to just giving up and forgetting I began the futile search–I see that both Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Gasoline Alley–are both due to hit the Century mark in 2019 and 2018 respectively.

    Oooooooold!

  157. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Oh, by the way, I probably started that comment a half an hour ago. I posted it before I could add:

    I already gave up looking.

  158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#154): along with Antarctica, the Bighorned Penguin lives on islands around Cape Horn.

  159. Sparrow
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Given that neither Daredevil nor Spiderman will move, and that women getting their heads popped off in a vigorous headlock is more Dick Tracy’s forté, there’s only one conclusion to this story arc that I can see: MJ will show up in search of her useless husband, who still hasn’t called her.

  160. Peanut Gallery
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#155): Ooh, that’s a major pet peeve of mine, and you’ve described it perfectly.

    Or should I say…

    So, that’s a major, sort-of, pet peeve of mine, right? And you’ve, sort-of, described the, sort-of, issues around it perfectly, right?

    Maybe I just listen to too many radio chat shows. Nobody in the comics talks like that. Yet. That I know of.

  161. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    @ 158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii
    Commando

    I should’ve guessed.

    @ 155. Uncle Lumpy

    That seems around right. Well, at least as far as my struggling brain can work its way round what you wrote there.

  162. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

  163. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#140): Does this mean what I think it means? Cherry’s going to be eaten by a megafauna while wearing a bikini?

  164. the REAL Mark Trail
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#163): YES! wel… uhh, no… just kidding

  165. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

  166. jim, some guy in iowa
    May 11th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#164): spoilsport

    ;)

    my compliments, seriously

  167. tallyHO
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    In addition to the centennials I mentioned above, it’s been a hundred years of this weirdness, too. Believe it, or not!

  168. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    My Favorite Panel: The wolves and Shelley are pretty darn-tootin’ keens, but the Bad Guy’s binoc shot of Kit is my favorite of the week. Straight or mashed up…

  169. Alice Childress
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#168): A Hero Ain’t Nothin’ but a Sandwich.

  170. Wilbur Weston
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Alice Childress (#169): I like sandwiches!

  171. Mr. Yezpitelok
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#167): Thanks for the heads up. I just placed a hold on “A Curious Man” at my local library.

  172. Sequitur
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147):

    Wow! Those pics look like something queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando would post.

    Oh.

  173. Droopy Says
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#166): The propane stove is toast, but Cherry can still use a campfire to cook the Slumber Mountain Special: steakosaurus and potatoes Au’Brien.

  174. Huckleberry Fink
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#y106): Has Mira Sorvino ever worked with Mena Suvari?

    Mira Furlan, Mira Sorvino and Mena Suvari walk into a bar…

  175. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#168): My Favorite Panel, Part Deux…

    Oooh…gotta go…the local PBS station has “classic” movies on Saturday night, and it’s “Planet of the Apes” tonight, my favorite movie when I was 11 years old!

  176. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#174): Milo O’Shea is tending bar there, I believe…

  177. Illustrator Steve
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

  178. bats :[
    May 11th, 2013 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#177): isn’t it, though? Kinda like some of the best bits o’ Monty Python all squeezed together…Tim the Enchanter…the Penguin on the Telly…well…two o’ the best bits… :)

  179. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#175): Doing some math, that makes you…still younger than Uncle Lumpy.

  180. Sequitur
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

  181. Sgt. Stoned, Doctor of Divinity
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    DT: Although several states have legalized gay marriage, I still believe that it is the law of the land that marriage is between two HUMAN BEINGS. At any rate that’s where I, like Pres. Obama draw a RED LINE in the sand! Moon Maid, as an alien doesn’t qualify. Therefore, as a mail-order Doctor of Divinity, I declare the marriage of Moon Maid and Junior Tracy to be and to have always been INVALID (are you listening Lois Lane?).

    MW: Yes, Beth, an after-dinner hand job would be a nice “touch”.

  182. Uncle Lumpy
    May 11th, 2013 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#179):

    Doing some math, that makes you…still younger than Uncle Lumpy.

    You don’t need math for that!

  183. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    May 12th, 2013 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned, Doctor of Divinity (#181): Actually, if they’re able to produce offspring, they’d be considered the same species, as well as answering at least one of the basic objections to marriage equality.

    Human-moon-maid love does have a tendency to lead to car bombings, though. Therefore it is an abomination!

  184. Droopy Says
    May 12th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#183): They might not be the same species; mules are produced by breeding two distinct species. I can’t find a legal definition for “human being;” a definition based on DNA, genes and chromosomes probably wouldn’t work. A court might take judicial note of her legal status as a human being, saying that matters of physiology are irrelevant (viz. people with Down’s syndrome and other genetic discrepancies), and noting that she has demonstrated an understanding of right and wrong.

    Probably the best answer to “Is Moon Maid human?” would be “Tell her she isn’t. We’ll send your ashes to your next of kin.”

  185. Droopy Says
    May 12th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    The Annoying Spiderboy: “I had no clue!” For Parker, that’s a phrase for all seasons and all tenses.

    Family Circus: What sort of father reads to his kids from “Oedipus Rex?”

    Funky’s Flunkies: Batiuk’s concept of subtlety: Frowning Frankie is not in room 666.

    Phantom: A costume party on a cruise ship? Mandrake’s sense of humor is brutal!

    Mark Trail GOES West and a WC-130H? Since when did Mark Trail enter the twenty-first century . . . oh. There he is, clinging to a log because he relied on his vacuum-tube, AM radio. Whew!

    Pluggers: So some Pluggers are more real than other Pluggers?

  186. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    May 12th, 2013 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    9CL: Don’t scroll down. Don’t scroll down. Don’t scroll down. If you value your sanity, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN.

  187. bats :[
    May 12th, 2013 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    FW: THAT’S Lisa’s grave??!? How pedestrian!
    And by that I mean, “Les, you cheap bastard.”

    RMMD: Okay, Rex, you’re so smart…YOU work in the topic of the evening, using Prime Rib as an analogy!

    MT: I haz a sad now. Good and important information, only the poor dog and the poor guy!

    MW: I know this was supposed to be leading up to this Moment, but all I can say is “Ick!”.

  188. Uncle Lumpy
    May 12th, 2013 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#187):

    YOU work in the topic of the evening, using Prime Rib as an analogy!

    “Hey, Sarah, remember from Bible class how God made Eve out of Adam’s rib? Well, we don’t make new people that way any more! Remember that night a few months ago when we had that party and Daddy started to get really silly and Heather came over really late to take you over to her place for the night? Well, sometimes when people love each other very much … and actually sometimes when they just get really, really silly at a party ….”

  189. bats :[
    May 12th, 2013 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#186): oh, come on, Rana…how many of us really ever need to sleep again?

  190. ralph
    May 12th, 2013 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    9CL: Wow! Grandma, do you suppose it’s too late to drown them like kittens? To be fair to Brooke, what he’s doing with the faces is just an exaggerated version of what’s done in Rose is Rose. As an aside I would no more want to live next to the Gumbos than next to the Burbers.

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