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HIPAA hijinks

Gil Thorp, 11/7/08

At long last, the how of Matt the Hat and Jeff the ’Czak’s crackpot Jeff-killing scheme has been revealed, and it actually makes a shred more sense than one might have expected from this strip. Now all we’re missing is the why, though this being Gil Thorp we’re obviously never going to get it. If Jeff didn’t know that his heart was a ticking time bomb of death before he went to the doctor, then this is just the most pointlessly “wacky” high school dude prank in recorded history. And if he did know, then how did he know? Did he spend the entire summer eating mayonnaise out of the jar with a spoon and just sort of draw the obvious conclusion? Or did he literally feel his heart begin to die inside his chest one day? The latter possibility would at least explain why he’s so damn melancholy.

Dick Tracy, 11/7/08

There’s been an insanely long and interminable buildup in Dick Tracy as we were introduced to these two titanic metal men on a collision course, but at last they’ve met and we get to see what we’ve been waiting for all this time: robots insulting each other like fifth graders, using txt spk. Whee!

Apartment 3-G, 11/7/08

“My heart is racing with anticipation”? Tommie, with that sort of wooden, sub-par thought ballooning, it’s no wonder that you never get any panel time, and that your boyfriend and the other guy who was trying to be your boyfriend are secretly having a sex affair.

Psst! There is a great deal of invigorating talk about the recent election right over here.

302 responses to “HIPAA hijinks”

  1. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m happy to see Edward Norton join the cast of Apt. 3G.

    Meddlin’ Worth: In my mind, I’d like to think that at the moment Frank Griffin begins screaming at Lynn that the reason for the crowd’s “Oh, no!” is that she stops dead in her tracks to give him the Alaskan Bird of Prey death stare. There also seem to be quite a few young men in the crowd so this may be the gayest Mary Worth since the trip to the women’s shelter.

    Phantom: The muscular purple one looks down at the supine body of the Python as though contemplating whether the ankles should go on the shoulders or the feet on the chest but either way we’re looking at a new version of an Oreo creme sandwich than usually makes the funny pages. When he’s done, the Bantu will help him dispose of the body. With the ebola in his system and an ass full of jism, that will make it easier to chain the body to a log.

  2. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow: “NO U LV FRST”

    Sometime next week: “I WZ HR B4 U. U LV FRST.”

    March, 2009: “I WL LV FRST IF U DO” “SHT UP THT NO MKX SNS.”

  3. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Oh man. Dr. Kelly is finally telling Gary about the “facts of life”, and Gary looks stunned.

  4. jayjaybear
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Ooh, hot doctor-on-IT-guy action. There must be on-line porn about that.

    Come to think of it, no, there’s probably not. Falling asleep across your keyboard with your junk in your hand can be both uncomfortable and embarrassing.

  5. Eaquae Legit
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    In case no one’s mentioned it yet (and since I haven’t seen it on the front page, I’m making that assumption):

    Josh, you’ve been satired. Not the usual Dork Tower fare, since you don’t even talk about other gaming comics, but this place is geeky enough to draw their attention. Congrats!

  6. 150
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Oh my gosh, this is the best Dick Tracy strip ever. By which I mean, of course, the only good one ever.

  7. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    I really don’t like “eye dialect” that wouldn’t be pronounced any differently from how we normally pronounce words. I mean, we ALL say “iz” and “enuf” and “leeve”.

  8. Lysana
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Josh! My gods, man. Amos and Edda just did the nasty in 9CL, and you’re not even noticing? I swear, it’s one of the best pairs of panels I’ve ever seen pass muster with the censors and makes the Doonesbury consummation strip look just as contrived now as it did then, if not more:

    About effing time Edda made a man of that boy.

  9. gnome de blog
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, Gary is trying to buy drugs from Doctor Kelly, who’s fresh out. One of them is about to pull a gun…but which? Either way, Tommie’s raciing heart will be crushed and she will be forced to flee to an underpopulated western state. I want Idaho in the pool.

  10. PeteMoss
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    DT – I love the robot trash-talk!

    “Ur Mothr s a Yugo n ur fathr s a poorly designd fax machne wit littl memry!”
    “Yah, but ur mothr s so fat, she uses the giant Hadron Cllider to scratch hr bak.”
    “Ur so stupd u think IBM s Stev Jobs’ fecl mtter.”
    “I will hit u so hrd, u will see the blu screen of deth thru ur opticl scannr.”
    “I will cut u so lo, it will rquire u to tak off ur roller trak assmbly to reboot.”

  11. squonk
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’m thoroughly disappointed in this blog. Edda and Amos are doin’ the Hand Nasty over on 9CL, and not a word here!! I guess talking about sexual overtones is more fun than the real thing. :)

  12. squonk
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’m thoroughly disappointed in this blog. Edda and Amos are doin’ the Hand Nasty over on 9CL, and not a word here!! I guess talking about guy-on-guy action is more entertaining than cellist-on-dancer action. ;)

  13. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Actually – look, yeah, I’ll say it – this Gil Thorp has been interesting, full of readily identifiable characters, showed surprising amounts of continuity, and in general appears to have been thought out with at least a certain amount of care. So I won’t be surprised – I mean on a large scale I will be, but in light of recent evidence it will not be totally out of the blue – if they address the “why” question adequately as well.

    And then God willing there will be like 12 days of random shots of golf tees, marty moon, some guy I’ve never heard who is referred to by his full name, basketballs flying through peoples heads, Kaz getting punchy on innocent bystanders, and militant androgyny. Because otherwise the universe as I have always understood it is only a departed, wistful, rather cockeyed memory.

  14. Racing J
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace – Wouldn’t it be great if Dennis just yelled “SLUT!!!!” in the second panel?

  15. Andrew Leal
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Okay, Dick Tracy has been insane and meandering as usual, but a le33t txt spk version of “High Noon” almost makes it all worthwhile. “DR@w, sTr8-jer!” “W/e U say, p!lgrm.”

  16. Laura c
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Dr. Kelly looks more like mental patient Kelly.
    MT: Panel 2, pure Elrod. Panel 3, pure Lichtenstein.

  17. Stij
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    #10: Comment of the Week, right there.

    9CL: ‘Bout friggin’ time. It’s taken them, what, five years? Honestely, Brad from Luann gets more action then them.

  18. The Sparrow
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Oh dear. The way the blond man is drawn in panel 3 (sorry, I can’t be bothered to learn everyone’s name) reminds me of one of my fictional characters that I created years ago, name of Leopold. Same nose, glasses and everything. Except Leo isn’t a Blondeman (Hehe, okay, I’ve been waiting for an excuse to post that clip forever. I will occasionally scare the crap out of people by randomly yelling BLONDEMAAAAAAAN! in the hallway. No one knows what I’m talking about. *giggles madly*)

  19. UncleJeff
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    8 Lysana & 10 Squonk: Judging from the sets of hands, it’s hard to tell who is doing “the hand jive” with whom.
    If one’s a male cellist, shouldn’t his hands look different than the female pianist?
    Maybe a third party is involved here?
    14 Racing J: Great idea.
    Last thread: I’m glad someone else appreciates the insanity of early Al Capp. I posted earlier that I wish I had the Internet skills to post that great first panel from the “Chippandale Chair” series where Fearless Fosdick answers a fan’s request and calmly shoots to death some guy walking down the street.

  20. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    #17 Stij – I wouldn’t go that far. Brad gets cock-teased a lot more than Amos, but that’s not really the good kind of action. Amos has actually gotten laid.

  21. Niall
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    …what is this, Freaky Friday?

    Strips with too dumb a punchline to be funny: Archie, BC, BB (still fueling Beetle/Sarge), Blondie, Curtis, DtM, FC, Pluggers

    Strips which don’t make any sense at all: GT, JP, Big Dog

    Actually funny strips: Dilbert (well, funnier than the above anyway), Garfield (ditto, despite the restaurant table only large enough for plates containing one oyster each), MC, SF.

    Sly looks like a buffet of drug users…

    Josh: actually the GT “twist” makes no damned sense at all: the doctor may have had the wrong named attached to each of the two, but panel 3 looks like Hatt is being told the Bad News – but it would have to be Sackomaster, no matter what name is attached to him. But once again, no matter what name is attached, certain attributes would have to be written, like 6’9″ on Hatt’s name. Did only the vaguest details filter out to the coach? I thought actual medical files would be transferred, and Gil would have seen the superchery immediately. It just doesn’t make sense.

  22. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    #20 – On the other hand, Brad once dry-humped the straw dummy they use for fire rescue training, and that’s arguably a more attractive proposition than would be any intimate activity involving Edda.

  23. SchrodingersDuck
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Jeff uses a Mac? Apple just lost all its remaining ‘cool’ factor.

  24. Stij
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    #20: Didn’t Brad score off-camera once? I don’t follow Luann that well, to be honest.

  25. Mac
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Actually, Sacko knew there was something wrong because he felt his heart racing with anticipation.

  26. Calico
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    The Edda and Amos hand panels actually seem like they are from a a year or two ago, when an ex-priest and ex-nun in said comic married and consummated.

    BTW, Squonk, love your screen name! : D
    “A tumbling and a bumbling he will go…”
    (Not a ref to you so worry not)

  27. yeff (Jeff Soesbe)
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow in Dick Tracy, it will be revealed that the robots are actually being controlled by two fifth-graders on XBOX Live!

    Cost cutting in the Police Department, indeed.

    - yeff

  28. Huntch
    November 7th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    When it comes to sick sexual innuendo, you can’t beat today’s Hi & Lois!

  29. Lake Eerie Log Chains
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    27 yeff
    Sounds a bit advanced to me – they look like a couple Rock-em Sock-ems

  30. trey le parc
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Can you feel it? Something is happening in this pastel wonderland of repression and platitudes! A girl spins through the air! The crowd reacts to…something she did! Mary fidgets in her seat! I’m on the edge of mine!

  31. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    BB: Insert repressed-homosexual couple joke here.

    DtM: Hahaha! Dennis’ mother is a slut!

    Pink Panther: Clouseau seems especially disturbed by Panther’s hijinks this week. I think it’s because the joke is both gravity- and humor-defying.

    Tarzan: WTF?!? “Tarzan Classics?” We were in the middle of a deliciously offensive storyline about savage witchdoctors interfering with the CentCom’s civilizing mission. We now we in the middle of totally different storyline about Tarzan making a stunt-man feel inadequate!

  32. AsleepOrDead
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    9CL- Just wait, we’ll have gotten all excited cause Amos and Edda have finally done the deed, only to find that they’re just have one hell of a thumb wresting match.

    DT- “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us” (I was too lazy to type it out in LOLspeak)???? Are you serious? In the words of Hedley Lamar “I HATE that cliche!”

    Garfield- This would make a great ‘Garfield Minus Garfield’

  33. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Correction: That should be Africom, not Centcom in my #31.

  34. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait for next week’s 9CL when Edda walks through Brussels with that just fucked hairstyle that can be told from half a block away.

  35. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Africom? The United States has a military presence in the country of Africa? What next? A military presence in the NAFTA countries? America first!

  36. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    #24 Stij – I don’t either, but if that had happened I imagine Mr. and Mrs. deGroot would have exiled him to Siberia and/or burned him at the stake, given how riled they get when he evens mentions girls…

  37. Burton
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    28 – Seriously! Also, what was up with Garfield? Did we already establish that Jon was allergic to shellfish? Or should I assume that the oysters worked their aphrodiasic powers and Liz ravaged him?

  38. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    #35 – Dingo, that would be Northcom.

  39. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    #37… did you mean ravished? To me it looks like she up and lobotomized him with the oyster shell, so ravage could work…

  40. AmazingThor
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Is that what is happening in 9CL? I just assumed they both got bored of making out and began doing shadow puppets.

  41. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Re: Garfield…

    Woah… wait. Anyone ever seen Spartacus? Liz ain’t really talking about oysters, and judging by the last panel, Jon seems to prefer snails.

  42. Lithros
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    I was expecting the robots’ confrontation to devolve into “I am rubber, you are glue,” but seeing as their chief components probably are rubber and glue, this would more likely come across more as a showing of solidarity than anything else.

  43. Comics Review Guy
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    We will all know Dick Tracy has finally passed on as a strip when Trazr spews out “LOL, N00b”

  44. Gabacho
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed – ewww.

    Apt 3G – you know, instead of blandly handsome, Gary is actually kind of ugly in a hot way. Kelly on the other hand has all the sex appeal of day old bread and not the moldy kind.

    Mary Worth – oh, yes! I don’t know what happened to Vera on the ice rink, but I can see Mary meddling at warp speed with a victim down on the ice. When did Vera start skating by the way?

  45. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    #28 huntch,
    True, but I think Zits did the same squicky sight gag earlier this year.

  46. Gabacho
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury – How did he do this? Did he just take a gamble and go ahead with the theme? Were there two picks available depending on the outcome?

  47. Gabacho
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

  48. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    #44 Gabacho – If you haven’t been following Mary Worth lately (can’t say as I blame you, with that interminable identity-theft storyline,) that’s not actually Vera, as much as it appears to be. Lady Skater is Lynn, the daughter of a hitherto-unmentioned “old friend” of Mary’s. She’s the Reluctant Prodigy archetype, while her dad fills the Overbearing Coach role. Plenty of meddling potential there, eh?

  49. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: Is it normal for figure skating coaches to scream stuff at their skaters when they’re in the midst of a triple axel? Or is Frank just the Bobby Knight of figure skating?

  50. Don, the Rebel without a Blog
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Antici. . .pation. Who knew Tommie was a Rocky Horror fan?

    DT – Hot one-on-one robot action! Yessssss!

  51. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    #49 – I have no doubt that, if Bobby Knight were to appear in MW, he would look exactly like Frank. So this could be more literally true than you know.

    (Because in Mary Worth, even Vietnamese doctors look exactly like Frank.)

  52. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    #50 – Don

    Brute Force: U lk tht? Tk it, bztch!
    Traze-R: Dnt! Stp! Dnt! Stp! Dnt stp! Dntstpdntstpdntsp!
    Dick Tracy: D-:

  53. gkl
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: Guy in front row, panel 1, third from the right: Hi to you too!

  54. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    O! O! I cn fl it all th way n my thnk chips!

  55. Annon
    November 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Luann Brad’s photo? Sizzling?? I think not, Crystal.

  56. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Rgh! Bffr 0vrflw! *fzzt*

  57. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #55 – “Sizzling” here probably has to be interpreted as “I suspect that guy probably smells a bit like a fajita at a skeezy Mexican restaurant.”

  58. Trix
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Having read the entire political blog all I can say is OMG, so delighted to get back to lighthearted comix snarking. Thank you Dingo, for your supremely dirty and funny comments. Oh lord, python jsim, making it easier to chain me to a log.

  59. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Hey, if Brad smelled like a fajita, I’d just cover him in sour cream. Mmm… warm, briny sour cream.

  60. gnome de blog
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Since everybody from Ted Forth to Amos is gettin’ some this week, we have to assume that Liz force-fed Jon the oysters and took advantage of their aphrodisiac powers.

    If that happened to Rob Wilco it would be funny. But it won’t. Conley would have to learn to draw women first.

  61. teenchy
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Apropos of nothing, I appreciated today’s OBH’s shoutout to Scrabble players everywhere.

  62. Poteet
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    9CL — I just went back and stared at the hands again, since there have been broad hints in the past two or three threads that each hand position represents something out of the Kama Sutra and Brooke really put one over on the censors.


    I guess I have the proportionate perceptive power of a comic censor.

  63. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    61 teenchy — I know! I loved the Scrabble shout-out too.

  64. Seismic-2
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Garfield: The way I figure it, in the panels that we didn’t see it must have happened that the waiter came over and explained that the restaurant ran out of Chesapeake Bay oysters, so what Jon and Liz had been eating was actually a plateful of “wetlands oysters”, namely the testicles of various swamp critters. Bad as that was, it got even worse when Liz immediately ordered seconds, and then still later Jon totally freaked out when Liz asked the waiter to bring over the log of chained raccoons so that she could select which ones to consume next.

  65. Bootsy
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    #60, gnome, has there ever been a female character on Get Fuzzy? I can’t think of one, human or animal.

  66. Stranger...
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    DT – I’m not sure what Evil metal man is proposing is physically possible with Good metal man. Of course, Evil metal man is raising his fist, so that may be what he is planning on using. However, does Good metal man even have the appropriate posterior receptacle?

  67. Poteet
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    # 65 Bootsy — Interesting observation. GF is like the TV cartoon universe of my childhood, only more so.

  68. Cranky
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s junk update from the previous thread: Those are not his enormous testes, nor does Ziggy have four penises. It’s just his penis and his crossed legs. Honestly, you people are sick.

    Anybody want to write a mock angry letter to the syndicate about seeing Ziggy’s privates in a family newspaper?

  69. IrishLass
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    I’m waiting for the hand print up against the fogged up windshield, ala Titanic.

  70. IrishLass
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    The above post was for 9CL.

  71. Amateur
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Sex affair? Josh, are you a fellow Monk fan?

  72. DavidMac
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]


    I miss the old days (1950′s) when Tracy would shoot the bad guys and the bullets would actually be depicted going through their bodies, exiting on the other side.

    Now it’s all automated. Damn machines.

  73. Bitter Scribe
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    #46 & 47: I remember, just before the 1980 election, a dictionary or some such reference work had Reagan as the latest president. I was in a bookstore that touted this with a sign saying something like, “Does this book know who’s going to win?”

  74. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Re: Get Fuzzy Last night began the Reeling Film Festival – Chicago’s LGBT film fest. The first movie was Breakfast with Scot and it was very good. I notice that many of the “gay” movies include female characters this time around and in last night’s movie the women were fully formed human beings both related to the main characters and their friends and neighbors. In most gay cinema, the women are nothing but harridans standing in the way of the men’s affections (i.e. – Brokeback Mountain). I don’t remember ever seeing a female in Get Fuzzy. Rob Wilco has a best friend who’s African-American. Rob’s father shows up in the strip every so often. Satchel, Bucky, and Fungo are all male. Heck, even Adam and Andy and Kyle’s Bed and Breakfast have female characters! We’ve seen the dildos on the countertops in Mary Worth. Has anyone checked out Rob Wilco’s apartment?

  75. bats :[
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Is there a consensus that Amos is on the bottom?

  76. Dingo
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    IrishLass, comment 69 would be funnier if you meant it for Dick Tracy.

  77. odinthor
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    DT — Good to see Harold Lloyd getting work again, what with being dead and all. Guess he lost more than the one hand in that accident!

  78. Comrade Denny
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    More on Garfield: Did Jon have a stroke? And I don’t mean in the last panel. His left arm just hangs there like a limp salami in panels 1 & 2. Also, it why did Liz pluck all but two of her eyelashes?

  79. buckyswife
    November 7th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    I’m loving the action shots in Mary Worth. And really, who’d have ever thought I could write that sentence?

    As for Mark Trail–well, Lost Forest and its environs are just a hotbed of longing, aren’t they? Little Blonde Girl longs for Sneaky. Corporate Predatrice longs for Mark Trail. Sneaky longs for food from the stream and, now, freedom.

    And Mark Trail longs for… well, who the hell knows?

  80. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    65 bootsy — I have a collection of early Get Fuzzy strips and a minor female character is shown who Rob goes on a couple of dates with and who meets the pets at one point.

  81. Pendragon
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    #65 – Bootsy: I recall a Get Fuzzy Sunday strip some years ago with a female dog who was clearly interested in Satchel but he was completely oblivious to her charms. The last panel had Bucky saying something like, “Sounds like she was speaking the universal language” and Satchel replied “That was Esperanto?”.

    So one. Animal.

  82. GotFuzzy
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    And back in the pre-claustophobic days of GF, when we’d get to see Rob actually leave the apartment, we’d see some female coworkers at his office.

  83. GotFuzzy
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]


    Yes, I am a proofreader. Gah!

  84. Muffaroo
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    I’ve lost track — is one of those robots actually Marvin? The leet jive is actually far cuter and more adorable coming from Toyz-R and Lost Force.

    Oh well, wish I was here, instead of struggling with the changeover from QuarkXPress to InDesign, which does everything backwards from Quark. I was doing pretty well, but today I had to start working with pictures, and now my stomach hurts.

  85. boojum
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    When I read A3G this morning, I had the same thought as Josh — that Gary and Dr. Kelly were not just busy but, you know, getting busy. This would be the most satisfying solution, as it would dispose of two possible romantic leads for Tommie (and thus any plot involving her) at one mercifully short stroke. It would also explain why anyone would think, even for a moment, that two men would be interested in Tommie: she’s a double beard.

    If not, here’s what I think they must be talking about:

    Gary: Hey, guess what? I finally remembered to nail that nurse last night! You know, the redhead?
    Doc Kelly: Dude! You mean Sharona?
    Gary: No.
    Doc Kelly: Maxine?
    Gary: God, I wish! No, the other one…
    Doc Kelly: Uhh…. I got nothing, Dude. We are talking about a chick nurse, aren’t we?
    Gary: Pretty sure.

  86. boojum
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]


    Claustophobia. The irrational or overpowering fear of Santa.

    Been there.

  87. Zaq
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    80 Skullturf: Beat me to it. I’ve never been entirely sure why Conley chooses to leave Rob so antisocial… he was never exactly a ladies’ man, but he at least wasn’t the shut-in he seems to be now, back in the beginning. I know his geeky interests have been the butt of a few jokes now and again, but that’s hardly a reason to make him as lame as I am.

    As for Dick Tracy, having just studied the IPA in my linguistics class (yes, it’s just an introductory course, but oh how I love it), it’s a lot funnier if you imagine these robots talking with IPA pronunciation, as a really really bad voice synthesizer might. (“Leeve” would be pronounced “layvay,” with the “lay” held for an extra beat.) I do go easy on them and turn a couple of the vowels into schwas (particularly in “uf”), but it’s still amusing to me.

    Now, see, if Rob Wilco went around making jokes about shoehorning linguistics humor into bad comic strips, I could see why he’s so lonely, but…

  88. Black Drazon
    November 7th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    A3G is surprising me lately. Wedding planning, Tommie’s love triangle, Tibet… it’s like the plots of yesteryear were released from cryo-sleep the moment Alan’s heart stopped ticking.

  89. Revsfan
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    OK, more from the young theologian Dolly Circus.I’m still thinking of Sunday, except I was expecting her to say that God’s first name was Harold, as in ‘…Harold be thy name.’
    If this is Westview High’s 30th reunion, which means the FW gang is 47 or 48, then why does everybody there look about 60.
    11-6 Pluggers: In Pluggerville, McGruff the crime dog has his own TV show.

  90. Uncle Lumpy
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Brother, can you chain me to a log?

    Once they called me “Sneaky” -
    I had fun -
    How I tormented that dog!
    Yeah, they called me “Sneaky” -
    But now that’s done.
    Got myself chained to a log.

    Wore a crimson collar –
    I was hot!
    Sows would beg for a snog.
    Make ‘em yip ‘n’ holler,
    That’s all shot
    Once they chain you to a log.

    Hey, don’t you remember –
    I stole your stuff!
    Hid it down in the bog.
    But now those Fists of Justice
    Don’t seem so tough
    Now that I’m chained to a log.

  91. Tats
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know if anyone remembers the 90210 storyline where Donna’s football playing boyfriend had a heart condition and they got Dr. Martin to diagnose it and it was all really dire, until the guy decided that he would just coach football instead and everything would be fine. I guess my point is that Gil Thorp also probably got faux-diagnosed with someone’s heart condition, and that’s why he is where he is. It also means that he’d probably be able to predict the fatal twist of this particular plot point, not that the rest of us haven’t already.

  92. Citric
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Call me old fashioned, but I don’t think that a sex scene should be able to double for a soap commercial without any major edits.

  93. tj
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    Robot # “Jrk face!!”

    Robot #2 “I knw u r bt wat am !!”

  94. dyslexic dog
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    #19 — UncleJeff: It’s not this one, but it’s not bad.

  95. Violet
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Re Mary Worth: Well, I certainly can’t see what could go wrong with shrieking “DO IT! DO IT!” at a critical moment of a delicate maneuver requiring intense concentration. Seriously, Frank, did you learn nothing from the incident with your son’s knife-throwing act?

  96. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    I was so hoping the two enormous Dick Bots were going to suddenly break into a dance number set to the old Sparks tune, “This Town Ain’t Big Enough For the Both of Us” … but alas, no such luck.

  97. anonymously
    November 7th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]


    The hands would have been even a more clever idea if they hadn’t already been featured in the ex-nun/priest storyline consummation. When I was young I got hold of a Playboy magazine featuring antique Japanese erotic art, and it featured two pairs of feet in….interesting positions. You had to use your imagination as to what the owners of the feet were doing. I used my imagination, it was surprisingly hot without being at all graphic, yowza!

  98. mnemonica
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    46 Gabacho:

    Trudeau called the election a week before it happened.

    Alternative strips were offered to the subscriber newspapers, but they were reruns from this past August. Some papers elected (hah!) to run the alternatives. Mine didn’t. Our logic was: If McCain wins, the Doonesburys from this week will be Dewey-Defeats-Truman-type collector’s items, and our readers would be ticked off if they didn’t get them.

  99. Hank
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I can’t figure out why a paper would be afraid to run this week’s Doonesbury. If Trudeau was wrong, the embarrasment was his, not the paper’s.

  100. PeteMoss
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    Are there no porcine Pluggers or even bovine Pluggers? There’s obviously no problems with serving pork chops in their universe, but I can’t help but imagine that canine is thinking that the chicken might fresher.

  101. PeteMoss
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    …might be fresher, dang it.

  102. Mooncattie
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    This week, in a very special 9 Chickweed Lane, guest star Ted Forth makes sweet, sweet love to himself.

  103. Mooncattie
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    MW – …and the crowd roars, as one, OH NO!… as they collectively contemplate what that old biddy on the other side had to do to score a front row seat.

    (But who is that in the audience?? Could that be…me? bats:[? Please?)
    (I may live to regret the above!)

  104. commodorejohn
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    #100 PeteMoss – Well, she is pretty “fresh,” but not in the kitchen. At least, not in broad daylight.

  105. Vince M
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    9CW: I dunno, I’m still expecting tomorrow’s dialog to be:
    “Honestly, Amos! Are you going to make hand shadows all night?”
    “Just one more, dear!”

  106. gnome de blog
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    #65 Bootsy:

    has there ever been a female character on Get Fuzzy? I can’t think of one, human or animal.

    That was my point, although it’s muted somewhat by the evidence provided by better GF scholars than I.

    #90 Uncle Lumpy:
    (removes hat, bows deeply): I am, sir, in awe of your mad skillz.

  107. Vince M
    November 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    I’ve seen female characters on Get Fuzzy, but it’s easier to distinguish gender in the animals.

  108. Islamorada Girl
    November 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    90: Uncle Lumpy, such genius should be rewarded!

  109. Necktie Weasel
    November 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    According to Wikipedia, there was Laura who was interested in Rob, but he wasn’t particularly interested in her. There was also Kellie, who dated Rob for a time.

  110. edubs
    November 7th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    I hope the “oh no” that is in mary worth is both of the ice skater’s ankles breaking off.

  111. GarrisonS
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    3 Questions about today’s “Hi and Lois”

    1 – Does the artist/”writer” live in and/or near some place named Wilton and is giving it a free plug?

    2 – Has Hi/Lois’s car always had the licence plate HAL?

    3 – How much product placement money does the artist/”writer” get from the CVS company?

  112. Pinwheel
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    The difference in the Hand Nasty strips is that the ex-nun and ex-priest’s hands looked like they were praying, and Amos and Edda look like they’re playing instruments.

    (Yeah, I left the same comment on the site. I repeat my jokes to different groups of people too.)

  113. GarrisonS
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    And yes, I do realize why its HAL (although my first thought was a 2001 ref) and have to admit its about the most clever thing that strip has seen in years. I was just wondering if its ever been used before as the licence plate.

  114. GarrisonS
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    109 I read that statement and hear in my mind MTM saying “Ohhhhhhhh, Robbbbbbbb!”

  115. Paperback Rifler
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Bah! So I don’t have any good snark, but at least I can help pad the comment count.

    Foob: As he got older, Mike would get to know his little sister and his dog much better, and he would finally determine whom he liked best: Himself.

    Archie: Is “Pop” Tate talking to a hallucinated version of himself who is not tethered to the malt shop? Heck, maybe “Pop” is hallucinating everything in today’s strip, which not only would explain why the malt shop decor suddenly vanishes, but it would also explain why Betty apparently thinks Archie is so darn fascinating.

    Garfield: I completely agree with the previous posters who speculated that Liz did something that completely rocked Jon’s casbah and that there are probably a few panels of intertwining hands that got edited out of the strip. And speaking of the 9 Chickweed Lane hand jive, I do have to give credit to Brooke McE for figuring out a visual shorthand [rimshot] to depict an act that the papers would be quick to censor if it were illustrated suggestively even in the least. Having said that, though, I can’t help but imagine that what we’re seeing is Amos going through his usual cellist’s preperformance hand calisthenics, possibly while softly humming a tune by the Carpenters.

    Finally, there’s really no good reason for the following. It’s just that today’s Fred Basset antipunchline got the song stuck in my head, and there you go. Apologies to the Clash, to fans of “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by the Clash, to Spanish speakers, and to everybody everywhere:

    I hope that everybody sees
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased —
    I have found my favourite bone —
    I’m tracking dirt all through my home.
    And although I have some fleas
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased?

    It’s always bitch, bitch, bitch —
    A fit is what my folks will pitch.
    But now that my best bone is found,
    I am one happy Basset hound.
    And though I have some fleas,
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased?

    Am I pleased, or am I pleased, now
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased, now
    Though this dirt will cause me trouble
    No one can burst my happy bubble
    And although I have some fleas . . .

    It shouldn’t be so very hard (No debe ser tan difícil)
    To find a bone in my backyard (Encontrar un hueso allí)
    And now I have to be on guard (Ahora tengo que guardar)
    To keep it from that St. Bernard (Guárdese de otros perros)
    And though I have some fleas (Yo tengo algunas pulgas)
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased? (Estoy feliz, estoy contento)

    Am I pleased, or am I pleased now (Estoy feliz, estoy contento)
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased now (Estoy feliz, estoy contento)
    Though this dirt will cause me trouble (La suciedad es muy mala)
    No one can burst my happy bubble (Nadie rompe mi burbuja)
    And though I have some fleas (Yo tengo algunas pulgas)
    Am I pleased, or am I pleased?

  116. Seismic-2
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    In order to alleviate a drought in the British Isles this summer, consideration was given to cloud seeding in Ireland. That would make it easier to rain to a bog.

    Just a few days ago (on Halloween, in fact), a Bethlehem, PA, man was arrested and charged with killing a city official’s pig with a bow and arrow. He was caught while he was using a winch to lift the dead pig onto his truck. Using a winch to lift a porker makes it easier to crane to a hog.

  117. minor flood
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m having even more problems than usual trying to date whatever era A3G takes place in, but after seeing the peculiar smock that Dr. Kelly’s wearing today, it appears to be prior to the division of the professions of barber and surgeon.

  118. FOOBless in Seattle (formerly FOOBed again)
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    GT: Wouldn’t Jeff’s mom have known he had the heart condition and wasn’t supposed to play football? What would she have thought he was doing every Friday night? Just because English isn’t her first language, wouldn’t mean she stupid. Seems like she’d have found out somehow, especially since high school sports seems to be so important in Milford. Someone would have mentioned her son the football star, or she’d have heard his name on the TV sports news or something. I hope they will explain this, but being Gil Thorp, probably they won’t.

  119. Red Greenback
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    9ChickweedHandjob: This is an outtake from the last time, when Dick Tracy crashed the party.

  120. Old Doc Yak
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    I am used to the fact
    that 9CL is sucking
    but I can’t deal with yet
    another run of hand-fucking.

    Burma Shave.

  121. Allen
    November 7th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    Considering that the robots are actually speaking, and not displaying messages on screens to each other, what I want to know is, how exactly is “leeve” pronounced any differently than “leave?”

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 7th, 2008 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    #84 Muffaroo,
    Do you mean Marvin the Paranoid Android? Because I have a hard time seeing the Douglas Adams estate giving Locher permission.

  123. Isaac
    November 7th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “It’s a good thing no one asked to see them, because they both said McLovin. We thought they were funny at the time, but forgot we were going to be using them.”

  124. Amateur
    November 7th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    My thoughts exactly, Allen. It’s like that one a few days ago where they used “redy” for “ready.” Still trying to figure that one out.

  125. Andy Panderer
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    #’s 119, 120 –


  126. ring around the collar
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Ah, happy comix snarking!

    I, for one, am happy to see that the divisiveness of this past election is behind us. Now, we can all get on with what we all know the internet is truly about. Looking up porno.

  127. aloria
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    9CL: IDK, man. Edda’s actually come right out and said she’s “saving her maidenhood” for when she marries Amos, so I think we’re going to end up finding out that all they did was a whole lot of dry humping.

    Then again, maybe if she got a good dicking she’d drop the uptight little miss priss act.

  128. Deena in OR
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Aloria-I hear you, and I remember that, but….famous last words, ya know??

  129. Jamus The Bartender
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    Hi Folks.
    As some of you may or may not know, my computer went down JUST before the wedding of Liz and Anthony. And it was only this evening that I got around to replacing it. Windows Vista is a lot of fun, don’t let anyone tell ya different.
    I had a whole story planned on how Cassandra Cat and I went to Liz’ wedding, there was gonna be screaming, fights, recriminations, great makeup sex…you know the bit….
    But after four months it doesn’t seem all that relevant.
    The only thing i’ve got to say is this….Dick Tracy doesn’t look good at ALL.
    Laters. :) Good to be back.

  130. commodorejohn
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    #129 Jamus The Bartender – Glad to have ya back!

  131. IronMouse
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Tommie’s line “My heart is racing with anticipation” Doesn’t’ everyone’s heart race with anticipation at the thought of a romantic dining experience at a hospital cafeteria? Though I suspect that her heart palpitations have more to do with today’s menu “Tuna Casserole surprise – extra spicy” than any romantic notions she might have…or maybe it’s her colon racing with anticipation

  132. Jamus The Bartender
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    130. Thanks, John. Oh, did anyone see the Which Comic Strip Character Are You quiz up top? I didn’t see any questions about stealing furniture from your boyfriend’s apartment in order to put the proceeds up your nose, taking young boys fishing in the woods, or getting a big fat writing contract for Stone Season, even though the author of same writes like Sarah Palin can tell apart countries and continents. So, i’m guessing that leaves out Cassandra, Rex Morgan and Mike Patterson

  133. SadTail
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    #127 Aloria, re 9CL: Have you seen Saturday’s strip? Can you say “blowjob”?

  134. Chert the Chort
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    I, too, am deeply saddened by this blog’s silence on the 9CL developments.

    #22 – are you mad? Edda and her ass are the only reason to read 9CL!! And Brooke’s penchant in Pibgorn for sliding down the Hentai scale pretty fast for a mainstream comic promises some actual Edda skin in the near future. But Amos? He can’t handle that supple beast… I fear for him, but hate him.

    Am I right?

    Am I right? Anyone?

    Wow… ok, too much. I see. Sorry.

  135. Andy Panderer
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    9CL – Looks like Amos ended up with the FF hair.

  136. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    9CL final panel — gaaaaaah!! I quit reading PIBGORN in order to avoid faces like that.

  137. True Fable
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    9CL GAH! Wow, his face actually froze that way. That’s a really ugly sight.
    A3G It’s not really a mystery going on here; it’s just that storylines with Tommie are so dull, simple arguments between two bland Ken dolls are stretched out for all they’re worth.
    Archie Hotdog has no knees on his front legs, but then I suppose the AJG3000 has not been programmed to understand the physiology of “dogs”.
    Bizarro having a Cleats moment.
    Canadian Zombie Oh, quitcherbitchin’.
    JP That’s no cell phone. That’s a shiv and you know it.
    MF Tinsley’s idea of a young person’s look reminds me of Dave Berg’s MAD magazine artwork (permanently stuck in the 1960′s) as well as Scenes From Suburban Hell’s interpretation of modern kids.

  138. Andy Panderer
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    DT – “Oh! You knocked his block off!!”

    S-M – How did Spiderman get rid of the unbreakable handcuffs? Is their weakness one too many insipid plot complications at once?

  139. True Fable
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    MT Okay, so he goes in and catches her talking to Mark Trail! What’s he going to do – force her into the fight pit with a dog and a raccoon?
    MW Oh come on, who the fuck TALKS like that in panel one? “The marks reflect the shaky landing you made on the triple lutz”? Why not “Your scores are as bad as that crappy landing you made” or possibly “See? That’s what happens when you skate like shit, honey.” Or just a plain old no-nonsense “You suck, kid.”
    RMMW NEXT year!??! Kinda gettin’ ahead of yourself, aren’t you gramps?
    S-M So how’d he get out of those cuffs? Wait, what am I saying; he DID just run into Maria “I Like Bondage” Lopez. She probably carries a spare set of cuff keys out of habit.

  140. Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Matt is such a good friend, sending Jeff out to his death. It’s the poor guy’s only chance at escape.

  141. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    # 139 — Sir Fable MTK, great minds are similarly scarred by the horror that is the final panel of 9CL:-). And maybe we should keep track of the bizarre dialogue in this MW story and have a running contest for the most unlikely-to-be-uttered-by-any-actual-human remark.

  142. Frau Doktor
    November 8th, 2008 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    9CL- I saw that final panel and, similarly scarred, came running here for support. I knew I could count on you guys!

    “Oh! She knocked his block off!”

  143. Andy Panderer
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    142 – Frau Doktor – I was referring to the old “Rock-em, Sock-em Robots” ad, but looking again at 9CL it work’s even better. I haven’t seen an expression that hideous since the old DC horror comics, and maybe not even then.

  144. shutupeccles
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:29 am [Reply]

    9CL – Scary as it sounds…I’ve ended up with that face before. (thanks Hon!)

    SM – Wait…where’s the handcuffs go? Oh why do I even care?

  145. Frau Doktor
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    143 Andy Panderer – Thanks for letting me appropriate your reference. I wasn’t sure where it came from, but I was groping for words to describe that brain-searing image and it came to my rescue.

  146. True Fable
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    #140 Howabominable (aka Lindsey) – Okay! We can call it ‘bee buzzing’ or something.

  147. True Fable
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    Er, that should have been #141 Poteet, my queen! with the bee buzzing thing. That image of Amos has me so rattled I can’t even read now.

  148. Zaq
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    147 True Fable: Are you sure you want to open up that can of bees? Just in the past couple of weeks I can think of quite a few contenders… log-chainin’ Mark Trail, think-chippin’ Dick Tracy, bed-sleepin’ Jamaal, and that’s just off the top of my head.

    Granted, it’d be great to see them all in one place, but to collect them all would be a daunting task.

    Finally, if I might ask the incredibly obnoxious question that’s doubtlessly been explained countless times before, whence exactly does the phrase “bee-grinding” come? I understand the meaning, and it certainly fits (quite evocative!), but I can’t help but feel there’s a story behind it that I’d love to hear.

  149. MrsIrB
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    9cl: Virgins, in unfamiliar territory, swept up in the moment…

    Bet Brooke doesn’t let us see the frantic search for the morning after pill through the streets of Brussels.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Frank, you have the motivational instincts of Simon Legree. Don’t be surprised to overhear Lynn asking Mary about a railroad of some kind.

    #148 zaq: In the lazy, hazy, crazy days of Summer 2007, while we wondered what was going on with Von and Vera and The Lady Mudlarks were on the verge of shaving off their hair in support of their coach that doesn’t have cancer, we have The Origin of Bee Grinding. Start at #148 CrabbyGenes for the genesis of this meme.

  151. Donald The Anarchist
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    GT Wow, I didn’t know the Mac could be used to make fake IDs. That would be a cool commercial, huh?

    A3G I’m guessing Gary is discreetly inquiring about a nose job. His schnozz wasn’t always that pronounced, was it?

  152. Sheila Sternwell
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    Juggs Parker: I don’t think I can endure another day of Smirk-O-Vision.

    P.S. Please direct me to the spicy tuna casserole.

  153. Saluki
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    FW: Well it looks like Les is going to get laid married soon.

  154. peabody
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    You have to at least give constency points to Dick Tracy; even the giant humanoid robots have freakishly tiny hands.

    Also, panel three of Gil Thorp = most awkward prostate exam ever.

  155. Muddtallica
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Saturday My Cage: Max’s friend is called Sam. Cute, Ed Power. Very cute. :D

  156. MWDG-Mary Worth Discussion Group
    November 8th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    So far Frank seems like a “normal coach”

    I want to know where Mary is sleeping? Did Frank just assume she would shack up in his room?

    also … is this a change this story line will end with Frank and Mary going at it on the ice?

  157. Seismic-2
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Amos’s expression in the final panel seems to be a bit of an over-reaction, for just receiving a hand job. To his hand.

  158. Amateur
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    The line about the triple lutz isn’t so bad. Skating commentators and coaches talk like that all the time. What gets me is the line about “our biggest competitor.” Does the girl from “Little House on the Prairie” not have a name? Or does she just go by “Biggest Competitor,” like a wrestler with a stage name?

  159. Michael
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    9CL The next time I get hiccups I must remember to get a handjob from the wife.

    DT Children, play nice or we’ll have a “time out.”

    GT Why is it significant that Matt the Hatt has a Mac? Is Rubin doing product placement?

    DtM Alice Mitchell, you two-timing slut!

  160. Dingo
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    So, I’m on the north side of Chicago last night for a film festival and there this guy walking down the street with a Marmaduke-sized dog and right in front of me the dog decides to take a crap and, I swear, the crap was the size of a small green child. In the strip Marmaduke, they talk about the bones he eats, the women he sodomizes, and crazy antics but they never once mention the size baggies needed nor shovel to clean up after that dog. He must produce more shit than Frank Griffin, right?

    November 8th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Josh, are you aware that in yesterday’s Ziggy, you can actually see his wang?! Go here:

    Some have said that’s his knee or foot or whatever, but that’s kind of impossible when you look at it properly. To be honest, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing Ziggy’s dick just kind of sitting there.

  162. Vince M
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    136 – I may have to start archiving these strips – I need some inspiration when I’m carving jack-o-lanterns.

  163. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #158 – she’s actually on loan from Herb & Jamaal. The conditions of the exchange mandate that she maintain suitable genericity at all times.

  164. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Speaking of which, despite Jamaal’s best efforts (and protestations to the contrary), his balls are never going to land in Yolanda’s court. We all know that.

  165. Charlene
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Did Batiuk just sneak a lesbian couple into Westview?

  166. gleeb
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: Well, no more reason to read this strip, unless you have a thing for Thorax.

    Beetle: They named a tree “Dwight”?

    Bizarro: Stealing from Cleats is the lowest form of stealing.

    Dennis: Multi-generational incest implied? Yes, I guess that’s a little menacing.

    FC: Shut up and eat your coal, kid.

    ‘bean: So the lesson is…never apologize?

    H&J: So, the ex-pro basketballer speaks in tennis metaphors?

    Det. Heidi’s bloodlust: All the cops I ever heard of hate murders. Some from the thoughtless waste of humanity, others because of the extra work. But she loves ‘em!

    Duck: Singer-songwriters? We’re only three days since a major election and you’re talking about Leonard Cohen and Joni Mitchell?

    Mutts: No one loves a dog with a heroin addiction.

    Zippy: Quips? Does Griffy really think he’s been being funny all this time?

  167. John C Fremont
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Yay! Jamus is back!

    # 139 True Fable – Your Mary Worth comment made me laugh so hard I made one of those “snurk” noises. Thankfully, I have learned to sip my coffee between comments, not while I’m reading them.

    # 160 Dingo – The image of a small green child and a giant baggy had me in tears! Good, but somewhat disturbing, stuff, man!

    MW – Is that guy in the blue suit wearing a carnation? Wait a minute. Captain Kangaroo used to wear a blue suit and a carnation. Hmm.

    DT – So that answers the old question of what one robot punching another robot in the face sounds like.

    GT – Is that Wally Lamb, MD wearing pearls and a Coach Kaz earring in that last panel?

    FC – They’re making him eat an entire bowl of prunes?! Wow. This could get interesting.

    Pluggers – Ah, another Reed Hoover classic. I wonder if the giant Billy Bass was his idea as well.

  168. AhClem
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    9CL – Amos, if you had bothered to read the instructions, you’d know that the vibrator needs only a couple of AA cells. The car battery and jumper cables are not necessary and — as you now know — can be dangerous.

  169. exapno
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    #111 – Yes, Walker/Browne INC, is headquartered in Wilton – it and its local businesses get plugs all the time in H&L.

    I thought that McDonnell did a nice variation on his regular shelter business this week – the best one was Wednesday’s ‘Mick and Keith’ – all that was missing from the Keith was a small ciggie dangling from its mouth…

    Lets guess now that Amos will play like shit from now on…

  170. kurt
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    I hope you catch SPIDEY today because in the last strip he came running out the door, wearing unbreakable cuffs, only to be surprised by a tv reporter. He talks to her, then bounds away WITHOUT THE CUFFS!! What the hell??? Did she unlock the cuffs with her skeleton key? Did the cuffs dissolve when she touched them? Who is writing the script for that comic??

  171. O.C.
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Watching the “Birth of Farley” plotline in For Better or Worse is like watching “The Buddy Holly Story.” Don’t fly to Iowa, Buddy! Don’t let them take you, Farley! You’re a sweet little puppy now, but this is the beginning of your doom!

  172. temporarilyjaded
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    I envision FC like that of Sybil, Billy will have to hold his BM while Thel practices the piano.

  173. temporarilyjaded
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Another thing…

    Whats up with Edda walking around Brussels and Amos is still in bed nekkid? Aren’t virgins unable to walk for hours after giving up the goods?

  174. dreadedcandiru2
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Sunday Foob Advisory: Tomorrow’s strip has Mike asking the musical question “Honest, Ma! Richard hit me back first!”

  175. RadicalBiff
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    “Jeff faked his generic exam at generic medical place?”
    “Not exactly. He used my name. I signed with an X”
    “We dressed as a guy from Miami Vice and a drug dealer from the 60′s. People avoided eye contact with us.”
    “So I got red-flagged for Jeff’s heart problem. The doctor also expressed concern about my empty eye sockets and the clipboard he pulled from my…well, I didn’t want to play football anyway.”

  176. Uncle Lumpy
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    #148 Zaq –

    Re: bee-grinding — look through this thread for origins and details.

  177. AMC
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    S-M – Bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker gain the proportionate powers of a spider to ignore continuity.

    9CL – Who knew sex led to turning into Heath Ledger?

  178. John C Fremont
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Thanks to bats :[ a few threads back, I have had the song “Timothy” stuck in my head ever since. One thing that I did not know until I looked up the lyrics is that it was written by Rupert Holmes. I did not know this. Now I do, and it makes me sad. Rupert Freaking Holmes! Rupert “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” Holmes! Rupert “You Should Have Stuck With Songs About Eatin’ Guys” Holmes! Gaaagghhh!!!

    Sorry. I just had to get that off my chest. Just don’t get me started on Chuck Mangione’s “Pina Colada” song…

  179. John C Fremont
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Oh, I should have said Rupert “Attacked By A Vicious Piano” Holmes. Ten extra bonus points if you get that reference. Oh, how I wish I didn’t!

  180. Phred22
    November 8th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Spidey’s found the ultimate solution to his unbreakable handcuffs, namely hack writing. It’s gotten heroes out of traps and saved them from certain death before (though usually with a change of scene). Now will Spidey realize how many of his multiple problems this could solve? This could revolutionize the comics.

  181. tb4000
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]


    Tiff: Now look at this pose…
    Gunth: Did you calibrate your printer?
    Tiff: Whatever, look at my….

    I stop right there, because it’s already obvious what Evans has Tiffany telling Gunth to look at.

  182. commodorejohn
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    9CL – As I have stated before, I am anything but an expert on sex. However, I was under the impression that the typical post-coital reaction reflected endorphin rush, not massive crack intake. But I suppose every couple has their own little “things.”

    A3G – Oh, peachy, Doctor Not-Alan is jealous. Yeah, Doc, I’m sure Gary’s just going through all the headaches involved in setting a hospital-wide network and managing software integration and getting the technophobic doctors to actually use the damn thing (the hardest part of all, as my mother could tell you) just to get in Tommie’s pants.

    A.D. – I’m trying to comprehend the situations in which such a letter would be sent to an advice columnist. Is it literal, from an inept dairy farmer? (In which case the answer is to get the cow pregnant again.) Is it metaphorical, and if so, what sort of thing would it be a metaphor for? I AM CONFUSED.

    BS – I swear this view was snagged from some Mesoamerican city, but I can’t remember which one I’m thinking of (it’s not Tenochtitlan, I think.) Help me out here, guys.

    Crankshaft – As the colorists have clearly indicated.

    Curtis – Yeah, Curtis, funny how stalking and nagging a girl will fail to get you in her good graces.

    DT – Oh man, here we go. What I like most is how easily dented TRAZ-R is (although SKLINK and Tracy the ring announcer are wholly awesome as well;) if things keep up like this, they’re going to look like balls of tin foil by the end of the storyline.

    FC – But why is he eating…a bowl…is Thel into colon cleansing? Will we see Jeffy making some dumb malapropism about homeopathy next?

    FW – “So I guess I should apologize for killing all those people at the prom with my telekinetic abilities.”

    GA – Just kill him, Clovia. No jury would convict.

    JP – The lady digs murders. Huh.

    Love Is… – watersports.

    MF – So…what, the only good music is sung by people who didn’t write it? Bull.

    MT – Oh, this plot is so hilariously stupid it brings tears to my eyes. Will the parties of this dimwitted love-triangle have a confrontation on the beach in which Mark punches Charlie’s mustache off, causing Sue to transfer her affections to her now-depilated subordinate? I am on tenterhooks.

    MW – Yes, she was daydreaming…about how much she’d like to slice your jugular open with her skates.

    Momma – I…um…I thought Momma was kinda clever today. *hides*

    MC – I guess even gold-diggers have principles and/or standards.

    RMMD – “I think this story is going to have a happy ending!”

    SM – Which would really be terrible if Spidey’s livelihood depended on the media liking him.

    Edison Lee – Well, let’s see. Given that the square footage is irrelevant since people rarely, if ever, use part of a napkin, the 55-napkin package is cheaper per-unit than the other options. Gee, was that minor bit of mental arithmetic so hard?

  183. kingklash
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    And Matt/Hat didn’t even mention that Dr. TV’s Frank looked at him all mopey-like.

  184. Buzz
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Shouldn’t there be one more day with the hands–holding cigarettes?

  185. kalki
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Edda’s mouth looks stretched out there. And no guy looks like Amos does unless…

    Archie: First comes the head bump, then comes the screen humping. That tv will be a goner when they have to keep breaking out the water hose to get the dog off it.

    Blondie: Waiter must be gay if he didn’t even drool a little over Blondie’s rack.

    Crankshaft: Here…take a closer look at the shrubs….WHACK…now we are having a funeral.

    DTM: Great, now Dennis knows the family secret about his conception.

    FamCirc: Any kid who eats that many prunes…I think this family takes their regularity a little too seriously.

    FW: So…no pity handjob from you then, Wanda?

    Hi/Lois: “Sorry there, chief, but that ruling was overturned by ‘Angry wife’s foot vs. your ass’.”

    GA: Clovia should consider an insurance fire scam.

    Luann: Hey, well if the fuzzy spot isn’t pubic hair, then what are guys like Guther actually jerking off to then? An armpit?

  186. kalki
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    149: That’s a good one. Or a frantic plan B of a coathanger back at the hotel?

  187. Wolf Shepherd
    November 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    132 Jamis – The election is over. Your snide remarks about Sarah Palin are no longer hip. By the way, if you like geography humor, here is an amusing clip.

  188. agony
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Can anybody explain, in today’s Chuckle Bros, why the snakes are wearing glasses?

  189. bats :[
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    182. commodorejohn re RMMD: I gotcher “happy ending” right here:

    Lio: love Sancho’s smile…

    9CL: and unless Amos and Edda are way, WAY more sexually repressed than I can ever credit the Catholic church for (I was raised Catholic, by Eastern European first-generation American parents, so I know repressed), these are looks that don’t come from handjobs alone…

  190. buckyswife
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    It’s quite amazing, isn’t it, that the skating outfits in Mary Worth have been made, um, Mary Worth-y? Usually, they’re sparkly and colorful and pretty revealing. But in Mary Worthworld, even skaters wear v-neck pullovers in slightly off colors, with odd, unattractive adornments.

    Oh, and if she’s a skater, shouldn’t Lynn have much more make-up on? I can imagine Frank supervising: “No, Lynn, that’s not enough eye shadow! And glitter–more glitter!”

  191. Hasty Penguin
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    For all the slowness and plot holes and general insanity that makes up the Dick Tracy universe, I would read it every day if the comics featured giant robots chirping each other more often and featured Dick Tracy less.

  192. Dick Tracy
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Check out the weekend installment of Teresa Dowlatshahi’s Frog Applause, featuring special guest, Dick Tracy.

  193. Dick Tracy
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

  194. Aging Hipster
    November 8th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorpe – Czak didn’t know about the bum ticker, but he was pretty sure he had the syphilis. I guess the last laughs on Matt the Hat.

  195. Lou Shumaker
    November 8th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Paperback: That was a fine, fine mashup of the Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” I was particularly amused that you took the trouble to translate the lines into Spanish.

    One of my dreams when I win the lottery is to compile this site’s lyrics into a book. This is comedy gold!

  196. C. Havoc
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    #183: Kingklash

    “TV’s Frank”…


  197. C. Havoc
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    …Obscure Pop Reference-wise, you’re the Ted Forth of the Comments Page

  198. commodorejohn
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    #197 C. Havoc – Around here, at least, I think MST3K is pretty common knowledge. That’s not to say the reference wasn’t win, though (not to mention perceptive…)

  199. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    # 157 Seismic-2 — You owe me a keyboard.

  200. tb4000
    November 8th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Lio: Sometimes you just need to create an obscure sight gag that you know only a handful will get, but it makes you feel so good knowing this.

  201. bats :[
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    200. tb4000: and to be brutally honest, way more than a handful ought to get the reference to this.

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]


    OBH: Most kids would say, “Hold the phone, old man! Obstreperous? What the hell is that?” Seriously, I had to look it up and I’m a college grad-gee-ate.

    9CL: I’m glad I waited until the afternoon to read the comics, because I could not have handled that face first thing in the morning. For those who have been turned on by the past few days, it was considerate of Brooke to throw in a built-in cold shower.

    A3G: Gary’s dirty little secret: He’s been sending out Nigerian spam letters from the hospital’s IP address.

    Marvin: Maybe he can get away with murder again.

    6C: If you can make a spatula and burger patty float with the power of your mind, you don’t really need college.

    JP: Okay, cast of CSI: Scottsdale, you’d better hope no next of kin are in earshot.

    RMMD: “Let the negotiations begin.” ZIP!

    Archie: Jughead can understand, because some of those Russian wolfhounds give him a boner as well.

    Luann: Okay Tiff, Gunther just critiqued your calendar. He sounds like he knows something about photography and printing. There are still a few weeks left until the new year. Let’s see if you can use that peroxide hat rack to figure this out.

    FC: Billy makes a thinly veiled age joke about Grandma. Watch out, young man. She’s still spry, and has no compunctions about whipping.

    H&J: So Jamaal’s minus one ball? Sounds like he’s still got the edge over Herb.

    DtM: Guest start Dick van Dyke regales Dennis with the tale of how he found 12 year old Alice playing doctor with a full team of ninth grade surgeons.

  203. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    # 201 bats — I am ignorant of most post-1980 song lyrics, most computer terms, a lot of current popular culture, and just about every electronic device created in the past twenty years. But I do get LIO, yay. Thank you, Mark Tatulli.

  204. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    129 — Jamus, do you know how hard it was to get through the FOOB wedding — let alone Grandpa Jim’s heart attack the same day — without someone pouring? We needed you!

    Hey, at least you made it back for Edda losing her virginity.

    I don’t see what your problem is with Dick Tracy, though. What, you got something against crisp, tense, witty dialogue? Perhaps the stunning Dick Tracy artwork has distracted you from the tour de force that is this strip’s writing. Here, let me rewrite all the dialogue in this storyline up until we finally saw the first punch (not including Sundays):

    Diet Smith: Tracy, Diet Smith calling. I’ve got something you should see.
    Dick Tracy: Diet Smith has created some amazing devices. He’s a specialist in miniature crime-fighting gizmos.
    DS: Tracy, as you know, I pioneered the portable phone.
    DT: Using it right now, Diet.
    DS: Now just about everybody has a portable phone. And I put miniature computers on the wrists of the police. The world stays in touch because of me, but now…
    Liz: Diet Smith is always ahead of the scientific curve, isn’t he, Dick? What could be new in crime fighting?
    DT: I don’t know, but I’m curious.
    Security Guard: Go right in, Detective Tracy.
    DS: Welcome, Tracy, got a surprise for you. As you know, I’ve always specialized in creating police weaponry. But I think I outdid myself this time.
    DT: How could you surpass my wrist Gee Nee?
    DS: Well, if I may brag a little … that was child’s play. Follow me. Wait until the criminal elements of the world … come up against this. Close your eyes, Tracy.
    Henchman 1: It’s getting tougher, Braces.
    Henchman 2: Cops are everywhere now! It’s hard to make our usual … breakthroughs.
    Braces: Cops think they’re so clever. All we have to do to stay ahead of them … is go high-tech! We can operate freely outta here. Until now, we’ve failed to infiltrate our target. That’s because we’ve been going about it all wrong. Our customer didn’t appreciate my smooth manner, so … now it’s brute force!
    DT: What is your surprise, Diet?
    DS: Not many visitors enter my inner sanctum, Tracy. You’re going to see cutting-edge stuff. And if we’re not living on the edge…
    DT: I know: We’re taking up too much space.
    DS: This project has been years in the making. Remove the tarp.
    DT: YE GADS! You’ve got to be kidding, Diet!
    DS: I call it … TRAZE-R! My latest crime-fighting endeavor: Traze-R. And it has the very best of everything, including … your voice control.
    DT: Your robotic cop is no doubt fantastic Diet, but … law enforcement is already using robots. And we don’t need a monster like this.
    TRAZE-R: I am nt a monstr!
    DT: It understands me! It talks!
    Trazer: Of cors I cn tlk.
    DT: Diet! What have you created?
    Trazer: This is nt yur 4-cylndr modl A cop car era anymor, Trcy.
    DT: It carries on a conversation.
    DS: But only with you. It’s tuned to your voice. Tell the robot to tear a hole in our brick wall.
    DT: Okay, Traze-r, let’s see you punch a hole.
    DT: Gad! He did it!
    DS: Now ask him to open my milk carton.
    Trazer: Yr mlk, Diet Smth.
    DS: Thank you, Traze-R.
    DT: Great, Diet, but he’s too big to go into buildings.
    Trazer: I hav a suprize for u, Trcy.
    Braces: If you think big, you can be big. I tried using my good looks and charm … to get into the good graces of the Genesis Corporation. With no success.
    Random Disembodied Voice at Genesis: Put these designs in the vault.
    Braces: The Genesis Corporation holds the key to making us very rich. So I’m about to unleash my big plan.
    Trazer: U say I’m 2 big 4 some jbs, Trcy? Watch this –
    DT: Okay, Diet, your robot is a very capable machine. But it has to be tested on the street.
    DS: Granted, Tracy, so take him with you.
    DT: Take him with me?
    DS: He comes with his mobile transporter.
    DT: Guess what we’ve got, gang.
    Liz: What is it, Tracy?
    DT: Get the chief some coffee, Traze-R.
    Liz: Tracy, why do we need a humungous robot?
    DT: He’s very versatile, chief.
    Random cop: A robbery at a Seven-Heaven convenience store just in.
    Liz: Should we try Traze-R?
    DT: No, he’s designed for big jobs.
    Braces: Got something big to show you, gang. Follow me. I promised you somthing big –
    Henchwoman: What is it, Braces?
    Braces: I had it made overseas. It’s going to make us rich! I call it ‘Magnum Force’ — ‘Brute’ for short. The Genesis Corporation will pay dearly. They rejected my partnership offer.
    Random Disembodied Voice at Genesis: These plans are hush-hush.
    DT: We’re not sending out our robot for petty crimes. Traze-R is going to be used on major crimes only. Not that he couldn’t handle a small incident … or two!
    Trazer: Tak ovr, Trcy.
    Braces: Behold, gang, Mr. Magnum Force!
    Henchwoman: But, boss — how do you get revenge on the Genesis Corporation with a simple robot?
    Braces: You call this a simple robot? Ha! You’ve seen what robots can do in the movies — just kindergarten stuff compared to Magnum Force here.
    Henchwoman: But, boss … you can’t get even with someone … with a robot!
    Liz: Tracy, do we really need a large robot hanging around?
    DT: I must admit it would take a big crime to activate Traze-R.
    Trazer: Detctv Trcy, I sns dngr.
    DT: What danger do you detect, Traze-R?
    Trazer: Pickng up unusual strng elctrnic actvty.
    Sam (freckly cop in bow tie): Some traffic light malfunction, I’ll bet.
    Liz: Quiet, Sam.
    Braces: His circuits are tuned to voice command. But we’ll save his battery and shut the beast down for now. Magnum off!
    Trazer: Dngrus elctrnc signls gone.
    Henchwoman: So you got your feelings hurt, Braces? Tell me how an expensive robot makes you feel better.
    Liz: What kind of dangerous signals is your robot picking up, Tracy?
    Braces: Yes, my feelings were hurt. The Genesis honchos practically threw me out of their offices. I could have added much to their endeavors, but now I’m going to get revenge! The Genesis Corporation deals in highly sensitive satellite communications. For which it charges millions of dollars. They don’t know it yet, but they’re about to share.
    Henchwoman: But, Braces, you just can’t go busting into a legit business.
    Braces: No, I can’t … but he can!
    Henchwoman: Million-dollar corporations just don’t sit around unprotected, Braces. They’re guarded to the teeth — nobody just waltzes in.
    Braces: A nobody, yes!
    DT: I trust Diet Smith’s robot, Chief. He senses something.
    Trazer: All is nt rhgt, Detctiv Trcy.
    Magnum Force: Warning, Mr. Braces!
    Henchwoman: Are you nuts, Braces? You plan to slam your way into the Genesis Corporation?
    Braces: Yes, with the able assistance of Magnum Force.
    MF: Force.
    Braces: He’s a state-of-the-art robot. There’s nothing he can’t do. He’s strong and fast and … answers only to me.
    Trazer: Somthng evil, Trcy.
    DT: Diet, your robot keeps saying, ‘Something evil is near.’ What gives?
    DS: I don’t like it, Tracy. Traze-R is fitted with a special frequency. He’s picking up similar frequencies. I hate to say it, but … Tracy, there must be another robot nearby!
    DT: For what purpose, Diet?
    Trazer: Troubl, Trcy!
    Braces: Okay, gang, here’s how it’s going down: We’re busting into the secret Genesis valuts … tonight with Magnum Force!
    Henchwoman: You plan to slam your way into a building with a tin robot? The place is guarded like a fortress!
    Braces: Child’s play for Magnum Force! See, I told you Magnum Force was the machine for the job.
    MF: Good choice.
    Braces: Now, you bust down the door and overpower the guards.
    MF: I know the drill. Then up the elevator to the secret vaults.
    Trazer: Trcy! Evil on the move!
    DT: Where, Traze-R?
    *Bam* *Crash*
    Security Guard 1: What was that?
    SG2: What the …
    SG1: What is it?
    Trazer: Trcy! Evil signals at Hobson and River Road!
    DT: Diet Smith says there could be another machine in the vicinity.
    Trazer: There iz.
    SG: Yi!
    Trazer: Loaded, redy to go!
    DT: Let’s move!
    Trazer: Detecting strong activity!
    Braces: To the secret vaults!
    Trazer: Trcy! Trbl in Genesis Bldg!
    MF: Smash into vaults!
    Braces: Gather up the data, Magnum!
    DT: Calling for backup, chief.
    Henchwoman: Looks like a clean getaway, Braces!
    MF: Uh-oh!
    Trazer: Disturbnce inside, Trcy!
    DT: What is it, Traze-R?
    Trazer: Break-in, some injuries!
    Braces: We’ve got the top secret data. Let’s get outta here! We’ve got the secret data. Why are we waiting?
    MF: Somthing wrng! Thir is a dstrbing forse –
    Braces: Disturbing force? You mean cops?
    MF: Wors thn that!
    Trazer: Powrfl signls, Detectv Trcy.
    DT: You mean armed intruders?
    Trazer: Wors thn that!
    Braces: Are you afraid of a few cops? You can handle anyone.
    MF: Cld b trbl!
    Braces: Are you scared? Nobody messes with you, Brute Force.
    MF: Sensrs say bg trbl.
    Trazer: Stay bk, Trcy. Let me handl this!
    MF: Take stoln data and run! I must fight!
    Braces: What’s going on?
    Trazer: Trcy! Hide. I must stop evl force!
    DT: Where?
    Trazer: Gtting off elevtr!
    MF: Signls say u r cald Traze-R.
    Trazer: And u r brut force!
    DT: What is this, Halloween?
    Liz: Tracy, I’m sending backup. What’s your situation?
    DT: You wouldn’t believe what I’m witnessing, chief!
    Liz: Is it our robot, Dick?
    DT: Not just ours — but another one!
    MF: Out uf my way, tin man!
    DT: I don’t believe what I’m seeing! Where did this other robot come from?
    Trazer: Heez evl force I warned of. Heez cald ‘Brute Force.’
    MF: Thanx for th introdukshun. Now prepare yrslf fr th scrp heap!
    DT: Who is controlling this hunk of machinery?
    Trazer: No one, Trcy. We have think chips in our circuitry banks. Stnd bk, Trcy!
    Random Police Officer: Backup is here, Tracy. What’s the situation? M’gosh! What are they?
    DT: I don’t know exactly, but I think they’re going to fight!
    MF: Ths town iz nt big enuf fr both uf us!
    Trazer: Then leeve!
    MF: Yes — bt u frst!
    DT: Traze-R is hit!

    Now, the dialogue had to cover these plot points:
    1) Inventor Diet Smith of Genesis Corp. gives Dick Tracy a giant Dick Tracy-like crimefighting robot called TRAZE-R with voice controls only Dick Tracy can use.
    2) Braces orders and receives a giant voice-controlled robot called Magnum “Brute” Force that he decides to use to invade the Genesis Corp. to steal some valuable data in revenge for their refusal to go into partnership with him.
    3) TRAZE-R, going all spidey-sense on us, senses Brute Force and tracks him down.
    Ooh! I almost forgot:
    4) TRAZE-R opens Diet Smith’s milk.
    I for one think all that lengthy, redundant, expository dialogue and textspeak was warranted, don’t you?

  205. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    I propose a special award for Gold-Digging Nanny for heroism above and beyond the call of snarking.

  206. Poteet
    November 8th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    # 205 — It could be called the SKLINK Award.

  207. Dr. Weird
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    #204 Gold-Digging Nanny-

    At least we learned that Sam Catchem is still in the strip! From what I’ve seen following this blog, I thought he was long gone.

    Of course, it’s only within the last month that I’ve become aware of the existence of Tommie in Apt. 3G… all the love and attention was showered on Margo.

  208. queek
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’m surprised no one has mentioned a certain scene involving a future Governator that the last panel is clearly a reference to. (and a hearty “way to go, kids!” to the happy coupling couple!)

    JP: Miami Vice, much?

  209. KT
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    I love how quickly Spidey’s handcuffs were forgotten; after all, the last time they were mentioned was waaaay back in, oh yeah, the PREVIOUS PANEL!

  210. Jamus The Bartender
    November 8th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    204. Wow….I don’t know what to say…I can’t wait until the robot police lob tear gas at all the hippies here in Madison and talk in textspeak.
    Anyway…..thanks Nanny :) Also, I just got through skimming the FOOB wedding. You were right, it needed a bartender.
    Sadly I was sort of looking forward to having Cassandra give Grandpa Jim a lapdance, but I got trumped on that one…

  211. Baka Gaijin
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Gold-Digging Nanny: Step away from the computer for a while. It’s disturbing that you have enough quality time with the Chron that you could produce such a Dick Tracy narrative.
    I keed, I keed! We love you just the way you are.

  212. Old School Allie Cat
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    FW – Wait, who the hell is Wanda? And…why should I care – she’s on;y going to die in a carwreck or something.

    Seriously, though – are we supposed to know who Wanda is?

  213. dee
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    Querey about this weeks 9 Chickweed Lane-
    Okay, so did Edda and Amos have sex??? What does everybody else think?

  214. dreadedcandiru2
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    #214: Yes, they had sex. The handjive, the inhumanly wide smile on Edda’s face and Amos’s having been hit with the fugly stick all spell going at it like woodchucks.

  215. Gold-Digging Nanny
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    The SKLINK award — I like that. This whole storyline, though — it was painfully obvious from the moment that Brute Force was revealed (well, even before that, since it was easy to guess Braces would have a robot) that the two robots would fight. DT’s just been delaying the obvious for months, and it’s gotten on my nerves. I’ve been planning to do this post for a while now just to see how long it would get before the first robot punch was thrown.

  216. KT
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Aaaargh. Anybody read “Todd the Dinosaur”? It’s kinda crappy, but it does have its moments. I can’t seem to find a place to read it online other than Daily Ink, though.

    The strip is drawn by Patrick Roberts, who attempted to draw Waldo in today’s strip. Except he drew him wearing a red-and-black-striped shirt and a red-and-black-striped top hat. He looks like some sort of rugby version of the Cat in the Hat.

    Now, Patrick, I can understand you not having a “Where’s Waldo” book in the house, but you see, there’s this wonderful thing called Google Images, which would have let you do a wonderful thing called “a little bit of fricking RESEARCH”.

  217. Ribinin
    November 8th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    Now that the election is over I will have time to read all the comments again. I notice that there are some foob references, and I had the impression that we had converted to Foobitherianism. I know I have.

    November 8th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I feel kind of sorry for Curtis, Granted, he can be a pain in the ass, but I know what it was like to be left out of EVERYTHING. I didn’t get invited to ANY parties in grade school or high school.

    HOWEVER there is something wrong here. At least in my day, kid who were say 13 (Michelle’s age) DID NOT invite kids who were two years younger to their parties. It just wasn’t done. Age differences of two years when you are as young as these kids are quite important. So something doesn’t make any sense here.

    What I suspect is, Curtis received an invitation, but his younger brother that little bastard hid the invitation from him.

    On the other hand, how come nobody in Curtis’ social circle talked about the party days before?

    Something don’t make no sense here.

    Or will he wake up and it has all been a bad dream?

  219. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    November 8th, 2008 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    #204 GDN: Wow. A transcription of the entire DT Trazr/Magnum Force storyline. GDN, I salute you! I second the nomination for GDN for SKLINK Award.

    9CL: Way to lie there like a limp fish, Amos! Edda must like ‘em sluggish… real sluggish.

    Mutts: Whoa! Iggy frickin’ POP? Not exactly the soundtrack I would associate with Mutts. Cool!

  220. Facebones
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Worst Rocky Horror tribute EVER.

  221. dunnowhoIwannabe
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    re: females & “get fuzzy”– in the old days Rob etc lived in a much broader world– he had co-workers, a family & social life (of sorts)– and it was a better comic for it- hell, they even went on the Judge Judy show- now they almost never leave the apartment.

  222. Vince M
    November 8th, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    204: Whoa!
    I’d like to see a school theater group take that transcript and put on a play. But not one that lasts three months.

  223. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    221 — I totally agree with you on Get Fuzzy. When the characters actually interacted with others outside the household, the strip didn’t quite disappear up its own butt with whimsy to quite the same extent.

  224. Amateur
    November 8th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    #218 — If it’s been a dream, Curtis has the most boring nightmares in human history.

  225. IrishLass
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    And why would Chutney go to Michelle’s parties anyway? She can’t stand Michelle and wishes Curtis would notice HER.

  226. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Late Saturday strips:

    (WT)DT: Next Monday… Brute Force: “U wudn’t hit a rbot wth glsses, wud u?” TRAZE-R: “No, I’d ht hm wth my fst!” *FROINK*

    S-M: Okay, so the handcuffs are made of super-stong, disappearing metal? Oh, wait, I get it, they fell off between panel 1 and panel 3 because they were on a time lock! I tell ya, Big Time, you gotta make your villain schtick work for you.

  227. Batman Beatles
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    MW – Feel Mary’s wrath!

  228. Farley's Revenge
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    9CL: So…apparently Edda gave Amos some of the same oysters Liz gave Jon a day or so back.

    Seriously. Is that what she saw when she opened her eyes? Or what he saw when he opened his and saw his reflection in the mirror on the ceiling(Mentioned when they first went into the hotel room at least ten years ago).

    Isabelle should thank her lucky stars Amos gave her the flu…he could have given her his post-coital spazz look and scared the holy crap out of her.

  229. Mr. O'Malley
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    FC (Fri): What is this about turning plums into prunes? Is that one of the lesser-known Biblical miracles? As a resident of the nation’s former prune-growing capital, I know that turning plums into prunes is along the same lines as turning bananas into oranges.

    MW: Things have certainly gone downhill since the Hal Rapp days. Thanks for the link, UL.

    MC: Backstory!

    FW: “Everybody smirk for the camera!” Is the black lady plugging her job creating greeting cards?

    Peanuts: Unfortunately my paper doesn’t run these great old strips, it has the inferior new ones.

    Pluggers: A dog-Plugger barbershop? Can any Pluggers historian tell me if the dog-Pluggers ever play poker?

  230. peabody
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    @ KT #216

    Or maybe that wasn’t Waldo, and you should keep looking ;)

  231. Trilobite
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    Ah, Sunday’s comics:

    Funky Winkerbean: Why would the photographer choose “Achievement” as the word for everyone to say? Oh sure, it’s very ironic, but his job is to accurately photograph the class of 1978, and it’s just not possible to say “achievement” while smirking.

    Mary Worth: I suppose it makes sense that Mary would glow with rage and cry “WRONG!” at the sight of Frank emotionally abusing his only daughter like that — she knows that emotional abuse is best inflicted passive-aggressively. Frank should be saying things like “Your opponent took first place, isn’t that wonderful? I’m sure her father is very proud of her.”

  232. Baka Gaijin
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Strips:


    Cathy: Sits on her huge carbon assprint, eating, ignoring the diet books and exercise equipment she amassed while trying not to amass a such a huge ass.

    Garfield: She lives in his ASS?

    Marvin: Asshole.

    Mary Worth: Frank, you can be an ass to your daughter, but when you when you tell Mary to butt out, watch out. She’s incandescing with all the meddle powers of the universe gathering in her ass.

    Pearls Before Swine: Rat, you’re an ass but we love you anyways.

    Rose is Rose: Guardian Angel, you are such an ass. Mary Worth is going to zap you with her meddle powers.

    Bizarro: Ow. Ow. Ow. Stop hitting me in the ass!

  233. Baka Gaijin
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Strips

    Blondie: Wins the “H&J Award” for least specificity in a comic strip.

    Pluggers: As the menagerie sits around reminiscing how thing were made so much better in the past, they forget that now wheelbarrows aren’t made of metal. The resultant lung burns from toxic fume inhalation makes it easier to chain them to a log.

  234. Muddtallica
    November 9th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]


    Archie: I would pay huge amounts of money to see a film called “Calcified Cretins”.
    Cathy: Only Cathy could manage to draw parallels between environmental protection and her own ass.
    Mary Worth: I think that “Mary, don’t interfere!” deserves to be included in some kind of book of Doomed Phrases You Should Never Say, right next to “What could possibly go wrong?”, “At least it isn’t raining” and “Let’s name our baby Marvin”. Still, I do like Mary’s little iridescent Two-Face impression in the final panel, even if I have no idea what it’s meant to represent visually.
    My Cage: Well, that’s interesting; what I believed to be a pleasantly innocuous, sweet-natured strip about talking animals reveals itself to be a post-apocalyptic, Planet of the Apes-style nightmare. How lovely.
    Pearls Before Swine: I love Pig. :D
    Pluggers: You’re a plugger if burning fetid compost in a wheelbarrow represents a social occasion for your kind.
    Rex Morgan: Warning: today’s Rex Morgan contains five times your recommended daily dose of implied wrinkly make-up sex.

  235. willethompson
    November 9th, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    So, is the evil robot in DT called Brute Force or Magnum Force? Locher seems confused. No matter… both robots are in for the battle of their lives when they meet THEIR WORST NIGHTMARE!!! (it’s disturbing, yet SFW)

  236. nerowolfgal
    November 9th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    MW – In the last panel Mary’s control slips, and she is revealed in her true Goddess Aspect as Maritron the Goddess of self-rightous meddling. Sacrifices shall have to be made.

  237. Vince M
    November 9th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    234: Maybe the My Cage group is the other end of those floating stone-slab message relays in BC?

    Other Doomed Phrases You Should Never Say?
    “Tell us what YOU think, Thorax.”

  238. queek
    November 9th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Sunday snark:

    Zits & SFx: both weird and wonderfully drawn, despite my immediate mental response of *MARBO* “Science does not work that way!”*/MARBO*

    PV: ok, who else read this and immediately thought “o noes! Death by snoo-snoo!”?

    No? Too distracted by the Elrodian Mega-Turtle, then?

    MC: ummmm, ok. Cute kitten in the title panel. Still, gotta love cracks on creation myths.

    MT: mmmmm, buffalo burgers!

    Candorville wins the “Liberty Meadows” Award for best incomprehensible excuse to draw T&A.

    Grand Avenue ( a recent Freep Sunday addition that I’m generally unimpressed with) had a very sly science joke in it, which redeemed an otherwise poor-to-mediocre joke.

  239. John C Fremont
    November 9th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    # 216 KT – You can also find Todd at the Times Union site if you can deal with that site’s little idiosyncrasies. I took a look at it after I read your comment. That was a pretty sad attempt at drawing Waldo. Today’s was kind of amusing, I guess. I’ll give it a few more tries before I make up my mind about it – as if I really need to add another comic into my daily rotation. Life was a lot easier when I just kept up with Mary Worth, Judge Parker and Rex Morgan. Well, not really easier, but at least I got to work on time back then.

  240. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    A3G – See, I’m kind of suckered in by the prospect of something interesting happening, with all this ambiguous foreshadowing about Lu Ann, but on the other hand I know that on the rare occasion anything theoretically interesting happens in this strip, it’s still boring. So I’m mostly interested in seeing exactly how the potential interestingness is defused in this particular storyline.

    Blondie – Some sort of…rhubarb? What?

    BS – Welcome to Not-Petra!

    BR – Brewster Rockit is full of win today.

    Crankshaft – Ha ha, decay and the inevitability of death!

    DT – “As opposed to running with our treasure now, which would simply be too easy!”

    FC – Something you’re trying to say here, Jeff?

    FW – “Okay, everybody say ‘wallowing in self-pity over the minor indignities of aging!’”

    MF – It’s that time again, when for one day Mallard Fillmore stops being loudmouthed and incompetent and is genuinely funny.

    MW – Oh dude, did you just tell Mary not to interfere? You poor naive man. You are going to get the hell meddled out of you now.

    MC – I honestly would’ve been perfectly willing to accept this strip without the alternate history, but I’m interested to see where Ed’s going with this, and it’s been handled well so far.

    NS – Wiley, seriously, this makes zero sense as an analogy for anything, and anyway it looks like you were trying for a subprime-lending bailout joke, which is not the same thing as the stock market in general. Geez, do you think about this at all?

    Phantom – Yeah, well, that’ll teach you to trespass.

    Pluggers – Pluggers can’t even afford rocks.

    RMMD – Oh man. For all the joking we did, it’s Wilson who’s having the last laugh here. You just know that Sarah’s line was “maybe they should make up at a hotel?” before the syndicate changed it.

    SF – Rock on, Ted.

    SFx – Count Weirdly’s “newest castle lair,” huh? Did the old one get blown up, or did his band of assorted monstrous creations just outgrow the premises? Or is Lady Weirdly in a family way? (And what exactly is her relation to him, anyway?) At any rate, I love the way Weirdly takes his design tips from Professor Fate.

    SM – Yes, you sure did, Big-Time. I’m sure he’ll be just devastated by this crushing blow to his self-image.

  241. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    #234 Muddtallica – Well, strictly speaking it’s not necessarily post-apocalypse. Humans disappeared, apparently, but that doesn’t mean they were destroyed. Maybe they went off into space somewhere, although I’m not sure why they would’ve been in such a hurry that they left all their stuff behind.

  242. Dingo
    November 9th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Ooooh, the blue and yellow Meddlin’ Mary Medallion appears at the end of today’s strip. Is it available to purchase?

  243. anonymously
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    So what’s in your Sunday paper in the half-sheet space left by Opus? Ours has some kind of puzzle…(sigh)….I don’t know what’s new n’ hot in the comic strip world. I don’t know what they could put in that space (please God not Mary Worth or A3G or Archie, get enough of that here!). I wouldn’t put it past the newspaper to enlarge Dilbert AND Garfield to fill up that huge space. Or “hey kids, here’s a big blank space, draw your OWN comic strip”. Frankly, I’d rather see pictures of readers’ pets.

  244. Mel
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Mudtallica: “Rex Morgan: Warning: today’s Rex Morgan contains five times your recommended daily dose of implied wrinkly make-up sex.”

    In the last panel, looks like Rex is gacking at the very thought of it — the sex that is — surprisingly, not the wrinkly part.

  245. P
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    In other news, my local paper has chosen it’s Opus replacement: PBS. I hate that strip to the ends of the Earth and back. (Yes, you will most likely pounce on me and back asking me why I hate this strip, etc.)

    Why didn’t they bring back Sunday Mary Worth?
    (In case you are wondering, they dropped Mary for Get Fuzzy 6 years ago, but after 100 angry calls and e-mails, Mary returned but only in the ads M-Sat only. After 4 years, Mary took the place of the Boondocks. About 1 1/2 years later, Get Fuzzy and Mary swapped places again.)

    But I don’t read it ever since they made a new section called Metro/Business/TV listings/Weather/Comics/Death Notices/Arts & Life.

  246. queek
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    243: The Freep didn’t add anything, just used larger versions of existing strips. Lio at “quarter of the page” size was pretty ooky today, for example! (pun intended.)

  247. Baka Gaijin
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    #243 anonomously: How about My Cage? It’s usually entertaining. Write a letter to the editor to put a bug in his ear. Yuck. On second thought, just write the letter.

  248. John C Fremont
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Speaking of bugs, I just got around to reading this week’s Tom the Dancing Bug. “Bob Costas vs. Mannix?” Now that’s funny!

  249. AMC
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – If only the popularity of raccoon meat was increasing due to its availability and its leaner qualities. Then we wouldn’t see bloated raccoons on the side of the road, playing a game of twister that only they can see. Instead, they’d be barbecued on a Plugger’s table, where they belong.

  250. C. Havoc
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Mel #244

    I too, saw Rex vomiting at the thought of not only wrinkled, old people sex, but wrinklied, old people herterosexual sex.

    But you beat me to it by about 6 comments, dang it.

    (The Blond, on the other hand, thought that Rex just looked mystified by the entire concept.)

  251. C. Havoc
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    hetero not hertero.

    I even previewed that one…


  252. odinthor
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    245. P.

    PBS. I hate that strip to the ends of the Earth and back.

    That’s cuz you’re Pastis, right?

  253. AMC
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

  254. Angry Kem
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    *Surfaces briefly*

    Yesterday, Archie got medievalised; today, we see Mary revealed as a type of Christ.

    I didn’t get a chance to comment on Post-Coital Amos yesterday, so:

    Holy. Freaking. Mackerel. What the hell is that thing?

    There we go.

    Re. the Get Fuzzy conversation: my personal theory is that the GF crew and the characters of Overboard have all gone to hell without knowing it. Their current worlds are only shadows of the landscapes through which they used to romp, but they are so sunk into their own ennui that they think nothing has changed. If Rob opened the door to his apartment and tried to go outside, he would find himself on the pirate ship, surrounded by zombie-like pirates and infuriating talking animals…but he will never open the door.

    *Goes back to drowning*

  255. Shermy Glamrocker
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Our newspaper, the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune, made the most asinine change. Rather than replacing Opus, or expanding other comics, THEY CUT TWO FUCKING PAGES OUT OF THE SUNDAY COMICS!!!!!!

    Now there are only four pages of Sunday comics.

    Lost are, what I can figure so for, are: Get Fuzzy, TokyoPop, Prince Valiant and the kids science feature whose name I can’t remember. I’m sure there are one or two more, but I don’t have a previous section to compare.

    This was done without warning or any reader input whatsoever.

    There was a note to readers that the ending of Opus “necessitated” a “revamped Sunday Comics section.”

    I’m pissed, especially about Prince Valiant and Get Fuzzy (which they dropped out of daily comics a year or so ago, again without warning).

    The paper is inviting comments at

  256. Little Guy
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    It’s a sad state of affairs when Candorville gives me more of Sunday boobiage and booty than does Juggs Parker.

  257. Wolf Shepherd
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    234 – Muddtallica – RE “Only Cathy could manage to draw parallels between environmental protection and her own ass.”

    They are both HUGE issues.

  258. odinthor
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    BG featuring SS

    Somehow I didn’t expect to find an incoming generation of crystal and china gays in Hooten Holler. Next week: Snuffy starts hosting Hillbilly Eye for the Straight Guy.

    FC — I put it to you, your honor and members of the jury, that he said “We’ll always stick together,” not “We’ll always stick together in amity.” Any imputation to that effect would be solely in the listener’s mind; and I consequently ask you to discharge my client and allow him to return to normal society to be the annoying blot on it that he has always been. Thank you.

    HtH — Hagar, my boy, she said “get me,” not “buy me.” You should hand Helga’s shopping list to the concierge at the gate of the castle you’re pillaging. Remember to tip well so they’re not rude next time.

    BeBa — Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a soldier doing cartwheels before. I thought it was a Marine thing.

  259. Wolf Shepherd
    November 9th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    258 Odinthor – RE SS: Slingshots are more fun when the target shatters… instead of yelps.

  260. gleeb
    November 9th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Feh, Thorax. I ain’t readin’ that.

    Dick: Finally, some rock ‘em, sock ‘em action. But who’s this Lukee Punch character?

    H&J: Just a reminder: Herb and Jamaal run a cafe of their own. Why the ^&%*! do they need to go elsewhere for coffee?

    3-G: Dr Kelly suspects Gary is really the ghost-who-walks!

    Blondie: The good part about this is you can imagine they’re arguing over absentee vs showing up at the polls.

    ‘bean: 30 years without cancer! Now there’s a proud record!

    Mark: Filthy, mud-caked bison. Still better than a spectacled bear.

    Slylock: I don’t care what country they land in. The pair of them are in trouble for not having registration numbers clearly marked on those planes.

    Pluggers: …like to burn things.

  261. migellito
    November 9th, 2008 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    queek – another Detroiter? Hello!

    An unusual constructive comment for Batiuk: Although a nasty old guy messing with people genuinely sounds like a funny idea, two nasty old people messing with each other is something you do really well. It ends up being genuinely amusing! I think you’ve found Crankshaft’s forte.

  262. SadTail
    November 9th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    244 – Mel – Missionary position was designed for wrinkly hetero sex, since gravity smooths the years away. Just remember not to put your full weight on the pool of skin that puddles around her, and you’ll be fine.

  263. Poteet
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Tommie, in Friday’s exciting episode, actually said her heart is “racing in anticipation” rather than “with anticipation,” thereby making her hackneyed thoughts even more annoying.

  264. Poteet
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob — Warning, Monday Spoiler *eyes roll* Ahead: THEME: Elly demonstrates grownup hypocrisy to her son and also commits an act upon him that, while possibly not uncommon among mothers of young children, still appears incredibly gross to some of us. “Some of us” meaning “me.” CHARACTERS: Elly, Michael, Farley. MY REACTION: I actually feel sorry for Michael. For a brief moment.

  265. TB Tabby
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Does the My Cage equivalent of YouTube (RooTube?) haver a bunch of videos with people presenting crackpot pseudoscience “proving” that the story of Polly is real despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, and other videos patiently and completely debunking them?

    On an unrelated note, look what I just found on scans_daily: comic strips in ‘Nam!

  266. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    On the subject of earworms from a while back: it’s a great song, but if you listen to “Abaddon’s Bolero” by Emerson, Lake & Palmer, it will be in your head for the rest of the day.

  267. queek
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    261: Freep reader, more in the palm than the meat of the thumb. *waves towards the SSE*

  268. Poteet
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    This is an experiment. If there are protests, I will cease.

    LUANN — Warning, Monday Spoiler Ahead. THEME: Calendar comments with serious overtones of brother/sister incest. CHARACTERS: Luann, Brad, Mom. MY REACTION: Ew.

  269. Poteet
    November 9th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    MW — I want Lynn’s pathetic ponytail to decide once and for all how short it is, and then STAY. THAT. LENGTH. Same thing for Lynn’s neck above the collar of her weird outfit.

  270. Angry Kem
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    #269 Poteet: It would also be nice if Lynn had only one face. I’ll swear she is shape-shifting between frames. The first Lynn in today’s comic is the scariest, and the fourth is the most likely to snap and bite off her father’s finger at the second knuckle.

  271. Erik
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    I just found this blog through the wonders of Google. It’s a damn shame that the Washington Post doesn’t carry Dick Tracy.

  272. Andy Panderer
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    DtM – Blecch! Dennis’ pussification is now complete.

    S-M Yesterday, the handcuffs disappeared. Today they’re the main topic of conversation. WTF? Whatever Stan Lee’s medications are, I want some.

    MW – “Mary, DONT INTERFERE!” Hey buddy, you supposedly have known this woman for years. That’s all she does!

    Uh-Oh! Now you’ve done it Frank. In the last panel you can see her meddling midichlorians coalescing. Her word balloon should read: “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

  273. bats :[
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    244. Mel re RMMD: yeah, that’s what I thought about Rex, too:

    245. P: we got “Family Tree” as a replacement for Opus. What a FUGLY strip! And while people might bitch on “Cul de Sac” for drawing skillz, it is consistently funny…you know, like a comic strip!

  274. Anonymous
    November 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    #268 Poteet: Much like a traffic accident, I now feel compelled to read Monday’s Luann. Your work here is done.

  275. Mel
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    250 C.Havoc
    Tainted minds think alike!

    And the Blond may be right. You can just see June patiently going over it all again as Rex recoils, “But, June, we did that once like five years ago. Why do we have to do it again? What are you some kind of animal?’

    262 SadTail
    What did I say to deserve that visual?

  276. Mel
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    273 – Bats :[

    That’s our Rexy, a dry heave in deck shoes.

  277. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    #273 bats :[ – Family Tree? Oh, you poor woman…I wouldn’t wish that crap on my worst enemy.

  278. Amateur
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    Re: Opus replacements, we got something called The Knight Life. Today’s strip was set in — I kid you not — Ye Olde Puke & Vomit Pub.

    I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

  279. John C Fremont
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    # 266 commodorejohn – I was going to challenge that earworm statement, but now I have that song stuck in my head without having listened to it for years so, uh, I guess you’re right.

  280. Islamorada Girl
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Meddle, Mary Worth! Meddle like you’ve never meddled before!
    Get up in that nasty Frank’s face and deliver some of your patented
    aphorisms to his gut! Give him a one-two cliche half-nelson, and finish him off with your patented sleeper hold of interference!

    Mean people just suck.

  281. Jana C.H.
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    #240 commodorejohn– If the woman hanging out with Count Weirdly is his wife, she is Countess Weirdly, not Lady Weirdly. Same if she’s his daughter. The Count has to be Continental nobility, not English nobility, otherwise he’d be Earl Weirdly. His wife would still be Countess Weirdly, but his daughter would be Lady Sophia Peculiarity.

    Jana C.H.
    Saith JcH: I’m not pompous, I’m pedantic. There’s a difference. Allow me to explain it to you.

  282. C. Havoc
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    275 Mel:
    Thanks for that…The Blond laughed.

  283. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    #281 Jana C.H. – I tip my notional hat to your superior knowledge of titles, but I was using “lady Weirdly” in a more general sense to indicate a female analog to the more well-known Count, since I wasn’t sure whether she would actually be Countess Weirdly or not.

  284. P
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    273: Hey, at least it’s not an enlarged Family Circus.

  285. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    #284 P – From the few Family Tree strips I have read, I can honestly say I would prefer The Family Circus. Family Tree is aggressively unfunny, as profoundly annoying in its preachiness as Mallard Fillmore, and eye-bleedingly ugly; FC is just dumb.

  286. bats :[
    November 9th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    275. Mel, re geriatric sex and the missionary position: I remember that as a gag (literally, not just figuratively!) from a “Golden Girls” episode…

  287. P
    November 9th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    285: I was making a joke about how the Arizona Republic blows up Family Circus on the front page since Bil Keane lives in Phoenix.

  288. bats :[
    November 9th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    287. P: does the Arizona Repulsive still do that? I remember FC having way too much space on the Sunday funny page for that reason.
    And just a friendly warning…if you’re in Phoenix or Tucson, it’s about time for the letter carriers to do their annual holiday canned food drive. The spokesmelons for the drive are the Keane Kids, and if you leave canned goods for the drive, you’ll get a photocopied “thank you” note from them in your mail. It’s kind of like Billy an’ Jeffy an’ Dolly KNOW where you live. PJ knows, too — he just doesn’t give a damn.

  289. Braniff
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    The Des Moines Register replaced Opus with Pickles. A feature story noted that a comic strip whose stars are older people (such as grandparents) who were frozen in time (on the lines of the Family Circus) was needed for the lineup of the Register’s Sunday comics pages.

  290. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    #287 P – Ah. Well, I still maintain that that would be preferable to Family Tree.

  291. dyslexic dog
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    #250/251 — C. Havoc:
    Herterosexuality: yeh, that’s how I’d put it…

  292. Zaq
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Angry Kem: I love you. That is all.


    RMMD: Eh, I don’t understand the hoopla. I hope that when I’m old I’ll still have someone who wants to have sex with me. (Well, granted, right NOW I’d like to have someone who wants to have sex with me, but even that appears to be beyond me… oops, my self-pity warning light is blinking.) I’d much rather watch Tweaks and Lenore banter than see Amos beaten with the post-coital ugly stick again.

    MW: I’ve gotten to the point where I genuinely cheer for Mary to be the horrible intrusive bitch that she is and meddle the hell out of people. I don’t know what this says about me, but I admit to it. Go, Mary, go!

    My Cage: Cute, very cute. Backstory on the MC-verse, jabs at creation myths, and a cute kitten? I’m sold.

    PBS: A Sunday strip that isn’t an excruciatingly built-up pun? Amazing! (I say this as a FAN of the excruciatingly built-up puns, by the way. It may be a shtick, but Pastis does it well.)

    DT: “SKLINK” vs. “SPLINK.” Discuss. Neither can compare to “SQLUD,” of course, but that’s a pretty high bar.

    Huh, I’d never noticed that gocomics (which I only check for Sunday strips I can’t get off the Chron) includes Garfield minus Garfield. Cool.

    FW: I don’t even know what this is supposed to be.

    Buckles, Saturday: Repression ain’t the way to go, fellas. Not to mention that things like this don’t like to stay secret for too long.

  293. P
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    288: As of May 25, 2008, yes.

  294. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    #292 Zaq – Cheering for Mary is like enjoying Freddy Krueger’s creative murders and clever wit. Maybe it’s not a nice thing to do, but everybody does.

  295. Uncle Lumpy
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    #294 cj –

    That’s because in the back of our minds, we’re hoping one day she’ll get shot for it.

  296. ratc
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    283, 281-

    It’s perfectly true that, as Jana CH says, if Count Weirdly is in fact a Count, then he is a part of the continental nobility. England has plenty of eccentrics in the House of Lords that would give Weirdly a run for his money vis-a-vis peculiarity, but England, despite having Counties, doesn’t have any Counts. I read once that this was because the word “count” is uncomfortably close to a rather vulgar anglo-saxon term that is not generally spoken in polite society, and the nobles in question preferred to be referred to as “Earl”, which is an obsolete term from the eighties meaning “vomit”.

  297. dale
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    commodorejohn – 240

    “rhubarb” is an old term for “squabble.”
    When cooked properly, some parts of the plant can be used in a pie.
    P.S. – I mean a pie to be eaten by someone you care about. An old truck tire could be used in a pie.

  298. Inspector Dim
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Well, what a wild week of hot Vulcan hand-petting. At least Amos is through with pon farr his hiccups for another seven years.


  299. Johnny
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Sorry to be a Negative Nancy. But what if he had had a physical previously…somewhere else (perhaps in another town) and knew he had a heart problem from that experience?

  300. Vince M
    November 9th, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Confessing ignorance yet again – where does a person go to catch the Sunday Slylock Fox? The comics sites I go to are strictly weekday there, and I only catch the Sunday strips out of the goodness of one’s linking here.

  301. commodorejohn
    November 9th, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    #300 Vince M – The Chron provides the Sunday strips for its color comics, but you have to edit the URL manually. Fortunately, Dean Booth threw together a comic linker script to save us the trouble.

  302. Jemmy
    November 9th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Don’t know if anyone remembers the Loews Theatres promo where the Sesame Street Muppets gave a “brief history of motion pictures”, but now I have stuck in my head:

    “This town ain’t big enough for all of us… so I guess we’ll go and find another tooooowwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn!”

    If I knew the rest of it, I’d do the whole thing in robot text talk.

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