The Comics Curmudgeon

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Oh, I get it! It means “Pluggers steal food from dead people”

Ziggy, 12/5/08

OK, a confession to get out of the way right off the bat: I laughed, more or less involuntarily, at today’s Ziggy. There, I said it. Not being accustomed to such a reaction, I lingered over the panel for a bit and noticed that “such as it is” on the punchline-sign is in a very different style of handwriting than the text above it — it’s scrawled in a slapdash fashion. Is this mean to indicate that “THIS IS YOUR PARK” is an official notice from Ziggy’s municipality, but “such as it is” is meant to be a graffito of some sort? If so, this reduces the humor content of the strip considerably, as insulting and/or aggressive placards issued by some faceless authority are about the only recurring element in Ziggy that I find tolerable. But then I thought up another scenario: what if the space below “THIS IS YOUR PARK” had originally been left blank by the strip’s artist, who couldn’t think of the right joke put in there, and then he went on some kind of day-long drinking binge, and stumbled back to his drawing board, and at last had an epiphany that yes, “such as it is” was perfect, it would even make the Comics Curmudgeon laugh, that smug asshole, what does he know? And sure, what with the booze the writing came out kind of wonky, but it was true, it did make the Comics Curmudgeon laugh, huzzah! Huzzah for alcohol!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/5/08

Snuffy has bludgeoned one of his many rivals in the lucrative Hootin’ Holler meth trade to death with a frozen chicken. As in the Roald Dahl short story “Lamb to the Slaughter,” he disposes of the gruesome evidence by cooking it up for dinner. However, whereas Dahl’s story traffics in simple irony (the murder weapon is fed to the police investigating the crime), Barney Google and Snuffy Smith goes deeper (not that you would expect anything less): the killer chicken is fed to the local man of God, who is moreover told after the fact of his complicity in the terrible crime. How will the parson keep preaching the good word from the pulpit, knowing the atrocities that he’s participated in?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/5/08

Who’s up for another several weeks of June Morgan being sexily cruel to the help? [Raises hand] Me! Me! I am!

Pluggers, 12/5/08

Pluggers will make up a lot of crazy nonsense sayings to justify the fact that they’re generally too hung over to get to work on time.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 5, 2008 at 04:55 pm and is filed under Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Pluggers, Rex Morgan, M.D., Ziggy. |

273 responses to “Oh, I get it! It means “Pluggers steal food from dead people””

Josh
December 5th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

It is fully possible that this post makes no sense whatsoever; if that is the case, I blame the sudafed.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
December 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Wow, Josh, you’re battling a nasty cold this week also? That makes it you, Ces, my pregnant wife…
Waitaminute…
Lake Eerie Log Chains
December 5th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Seriously, though (and funnily), the post does make sense
Comrade Denny
December 5th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: Good god! Gen. Halftrack has immolated himself!
saxman
December 5th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

RMMD

Who’s up for June’s head from panel 2, but she’s wearing the long-anticipated bikini, and she is fighting off a Somali pirate boarding party with a samari sword.

(Come on guys, the Houston Chronicle kept you when it axed Mary Worth, Dennis the Menace, and My Cage. It’s time you justify your existence and give the readers what they want).
Subway duck
December 5th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Between Friends: Forgive me if this has already been brought up, but do you suppose the two characters in today’s strip are discussing retro-Foob?
Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 5th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

RMMD: The guy’s right, though. We rich people are arrogant and lazy. Now finished cleaning my toes, Josh, and I’ll toss you a shiny new nickel.
Bootsy
December 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Wow! Killed the last thread and started a discussion about bike helmets (Christ, what a claim to fame, eh?). I don’t think kids are more stupid than my sibs and I were as kids (not sure that’s even possible given some of the stupid dangerous stuff we did). Drivers don’t notice riders, and it can be dangerous out there.

That’s what I get for waxing nostalgic, I guess.
Bitter Scribe
December 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

God help me, Pluggers actually makes sense to me.

I work in a field (B-to-B journalism) that requires me to marinate myself in business cliches. One of them is “everyone wants to be second,” meaning that businesses prefer to hang back and copy others’ successful innovations rather than innovate themselves and risk failure. I’ve never actually heard “the second mouse gets the cheese” used in this context, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s where it originated.

The only other business cliche I know that has potential for Pluggers is “In a plate of bacon and eggs, the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.” I don’t want to think about how that would be illustrated.
Chelsea
December 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Okay, seriously, Mary Worth, the thing that is “even more troubling” than Lynn fainting from stress as stated yesterday is that she refuses to talk to the father that caused her said stress? I’m pretty sure we all figured that was going to happen, aside from the mysterious troubling thing. Please tell me you’re keeping a secret and Lynn is actually has mutated chicken feet. That would be troubling.
Marthas Rolling Pin
December 5th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Wow! Google Ads has teases for “Out Our Way Ringtones” and “Sad Sack Comics”. As I recall, “Out Our Way” disappeared from the funnies about the time crank phones were giving way to big handsets. The Sad Sack lingered a while longer, but what arcane discussion triggered those ads?
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

And here I was trying to figure out what “SUCK AS IT IS” might have meant in the patois of post-depression West Virginia where Tom Wilson’s impressions of park signage were most likely formed.
Comrade Denny
December 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

When I first looked at today’s Pluggers, I thought the rhinos were wearing karate gis for some reason. Something about the shapeless, billowy folds of fabric in which Pluggers shroud themselves looked vaguely gi-like I guess.

Anyway, it was a silly thought since we all know that a Plugger’s idea of exercise is furiously working the toilet plunger in between bi-hourly deposits, which brings us to Pluggers’ idea of making a “deposit” in these trying economic times…
Bootsy
December 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Oh, I should say something about the comics.

Andy and the Phantom are my two favorite characters in the comics. I love Andy unreservedly but we all know I read Phantom for his hot stripey ass.
Tweeks_Coffee
December 5th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

The second mouse gets the cheese because the first one tripped the trap and was killed.
saxman
December 5th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#9

A fellow B2B journalist!

Anyway, I’m about 98% sure “the second mouse gets the cheese” is one of those aphorisms I learned back when I was a consultant at American general and they made me take modelnetics management training. This was circa 1998 so I know this joke is at least ten years old.

BTW, American General was eventually bought up by AIG, the spectacularly insolvent company being bailed-out by the Feds. So much for Aphorism-driven management training.
gh
December 5th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#9 Bitter Scribe –

The only other business cliche I know that has potential for Pluggers is “In a plate of bacon and eggs, the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.”

I’m pretty sure that showed up in Dilbert the other day . . .
Huntch
December 5th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Jimbo is a total loser; almost as bad as Ted Forth. Pasquale is entirely too precocious, but probably brain damaged. Rose is a self-centered whining needy bitch. If she didn’t have the most delightful derriere in comicdom, I would never look at Rose is Rose again.
Spunde
December 5th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Any line of reasoning that concludes, “Huzzah for alcohol!” has to be correct.
Some Guy Here
December 5th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Hehe, see this is the reason why I come to the Comics Curmudgeon, it actually makes stuff like Ziggy, well, funny!
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

The early bird gets the worm, son, but in this neighborhood for all we know they might be married to one another and own a pet dog and have a ponytailed girl child of indeterminate species and, possibly an actual pony. Strange goddamn world. And incidentally some plugger children better show considerably more promptness in fetching me another glass of gin if they don’t want their hides tanned.

(Glass here probably refers to a 32-ounce souvenir “Smurfs” cup from Hardees with indelible mouse pee stains on it.)
commodorejohn
December 5th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

#5 saxman – Hell yes. The recent “sort of newsworthy but let’s not worry about captive innocents when there’s an ELECTION at hand” Somali pirate activity has been my fervent hope for this storyline since Tweaks and Lenore finally got back to bumping uglies.

#9 Bitter Scribe – Oh lord, I pity anyone who would have to be exposed to that kind of tripe to make a living. As to the Pluggers question, there aren’t any porcine Pluggers featured in the strip, but given the morbid obesity displayed by Pluggers of other species, I would be terrified of seeing one.
gh
December 5th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Yup.
Comrade Denny
December 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

#22 – commodorejohn

Pork is delicious! Hence, no porcine Pluggers visible in the strip, unless you count those who’ve already been metabolized into body fat…
Niall
December 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Pluggers feel it’s okay to watch someone get killed in front of you if it means you get the goal they tried to get first. This works metaphorically, but as we’re talking anthripomorphic animals, it may be they’re talking literally too.
BigTed
December 5th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Josh, it’s clear that trying to comprehend today’s “Pluggers” has given you a rhinovirus.
Nekrotzar
December 5th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

Roald Dahl wrote that episode of Hitchcock presents? Cool! (In retrospect it seems to be pretty obviously his style.)

Formula 86 Delayed Action Mouse Maker…
BigTed
December 5th, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

Of course, it’s highly unlikely that Snuffy has ever read “Lamb to the Slaughter,” or any other written material. But since that story was made into an episode of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” I expect he saw it on one of those hillbilly TV sets that only get black-and-white programming from the ’50s.
AsleepOrDead
December 5th, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: Oh my god! My father’s favorite platitude is in Pluggers! I better call him before he hangs himself.

BGSS: I immediately went to Hannibal Lecter. That’s much more horrifying, in my opinion.

HH: Um, aren’t candy canes usually RED and white? Jeez, can colorists not get the most simplest thing right???
Revenge of Chesnut
December 5th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Ziggy has justified its existence for one more day by inciting the unabashed celebration of drunken irresponsibility.

BTW- winter hat with ear flaps but still no pants? WTF, mate? W. T. F.
Rachel
December 5th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Ugh, Luann…. I thought we already got through the ‘Tiffany-is-a-whore” section of this story line. They must be leading into the ‘Tiffany-discovers-web-cams’ story line to boost male readership.
commodorejohn
December 5th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

#24 Comrade Denny – Plausible enough, but if that’s the case, how has Chicken Plugger survived? Does her husband just keep the other carnivores from eating her because she puts out?
Niall
December 5th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

14. Bootsy: you can find more hot stripey ass at the end of this post by a friend. She seems to be as fervent lover of hot stripey ass as you are. Just in a slightly different way. :)
kelsy
December 5th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Ziggy: still pantsless, but now with a hat.
trey le parc
December 5th, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Pencil Mustache is so snide because Wilson & Nolan are incapable of conceiving, much less rendering, a weak chin. Therefore other aspects of PM’s personality have to be amped up to convey his impending villian-itude. Unless it’s a theme cruise and the theme is assholes. The strip makes sense either way.
Erik A.
December 5th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

SM: J. Jonah Jameson should have hired Mark Trail as his bodyguard.
Carly
December 5th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

For some reason I’m reading the second line of the Ziggy sign as Ziggy’s own handwriting. I don’t know why I think this or what it means.

One could also argue that Ziggy’s township chose the second font because it seems somewhat more crazed/threatening.

That was a Roald Dahl story? Damn. I’ve been trying to remember the author/title for awhile. The things I learn from CC.
Marthas Rolling Pin
December 5th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

#14 Niall, you didn’t warn us that we had to wade through a bunch of Pluggers to get to that stripey ass.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Gawd, I’ve just been exposed to zebra porn.
Angry Kem
December 5th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

“The second mouse gets the cheese” has, indeed, been around for a while. Terry Pratchett even uses it in The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (the rats recite it as they go around defusing rat traps).

Bootsy: Sorry about the bike-helmet thing. Biking is kind of a sensitive issue with me right now. I am sick to death of nearly being killed and then having angry drivers swear at me because I, unlike them, have been obeying the goddamn law. A couple of days ago, some idiot in a taxi snarled, “Oh, **** off” after she nearly doored me, and I expressed my discontent with the situation. Gosh, lady…I’m sorry I almost went head over teakettle because you couldn’t take two seconds to shoulder-check. What the hell?

Clearly, I have issues.
Anson Pants
December 5th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith That “chicken” leg is really Soylent Green.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
December 5th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

I, for one, am looking forward to weeks of June being SEXUALLY cruel to the help.
But, on to general snark…

AS – Quiz time. Today’s Argyle Sweater is:
A. Unfunny
B. Poorly drawn
C. Ill-conceived
D. All of the above
E. WTF is Argyle Sweater?

BB – Buxley Friday? Is time folding on itself at Camp Swampy?

Cathy – Good Lord, she’s my wife (between my comment at #2 and this, she may actually have grounds to murder me)

Crank – I’m not sure that’s the primary reason for the invention of TiVo, but perhaps that’s the joke … such as it is.

DT – That’s it? Really? That’s the story? Good guys make robot. Bad guys make robot. Robots beat each other up. Bad robot kills bad guy. Isn’t that a touch simple-mined, even for Dick Tracy?

FC – Well, see, “Mommy” does this thing with peanut butter, and … oh, stop!

FW – Hey, Les, don’t be too hard on yourself. YOu stink at parenting too.

GA – Well, it’s better than the Santa Claus “jokes” foisted on us over at Mallard Fillmore. I do like how Slim in a Santa suit doesn’t even remotely resemble Slim in street clothes.

GT – when’s the last time Gil even tried to build a season on anything other than gimmicks or a 6-9 tight end?

H&L – Hi, if you were any kind of a father, Chip wouldn’t need a college course to know about that stuff.

JP – And the over-under for the time period Dixie holds Randy at gunpoint with nothing else happening is 20 days. I’m going with the over, and I ain’t complaining.

M’duke – Now you WANT attention from him? An excellent example of Stockholm Syndrome.

MT – “But let’s get started on dinner anyway. The giant-headed kid looks hungry.”

SF – If you ask me, the pancakes should be the bread, and the waffle the meat. Of course, no one asked me.

SM – Way to keep your involvement a secret, Big-Time. Perhaps you could have used your henchman, who just happens to be disguised? I certainly hope this is televised, so Peter will know this is happening.
Foobar
December 5th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

I’ll tell you what I told the judge: You cannot “steal” from a dead person.
Dingo
December 5th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

Sudafed, Josh? Add some NyQuil, dress up like Margo Magee, and have the wife videotape you at a local bar gettin’ it on with undercover cops.
Zaq
December 5th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Friday!

DT: Least satisfying Dick-quip ever. I’m not even confident it qualifies as a one-liner.

RMMD: Um, dude? They looked at a lifeboat. I fail to see that as either “arrogant” or “lazy.” I mean, yes, sure, they ARE rich and arrogant and lazy, but YOU DON’T KNOW THAT IN-CHARACTER. Stop using OOC knowledge! That’s metagaming! Or metacomicing. Or somethiing.

Ghost-Who-Incinerates: Good thing this strip’s only three panels, because the fourth panel would have been a Rex Morgan-style nostril shot and panel 5 would have been actually inside his sinuses.

S-M: This strip forced me to spend way, way too long staring at Flattop Hitler’s crotch to determine that there wasn’t a question mark after “WHAP!” Go ahead, look at it. Doesn’t it look like part of his crotch is a question mark? But it isn’t. It’s just really, really over-detailed. And now you’ve spent the past few seconds staring at and thinking really hard about Flattop Hitler’s crotch. I share my pain.

SlyFo: I normally like the way Mr. Weber (Jr.) draws humans, but I’m not so fond of the way he draws aliens. At least that’s what I think that thing in the pink in the middle of the frame is. That face reminds me of one of the more disturbing emoticons from Ragnarok Online. (Which, admittedly, had some pretty awesome emoticons too, but some really weird ones as well.) However, I must say I approve of the whole snowman scene on the right. I love the look of impotent despair on his face as he watches his hotdog friend get cooked, I love that he’s melting from proximity to the fire, and I love that some small critter has decided to turn him into a temporary shelter. The fact that the dude cooking the hotdog has his arm around his shoulder, so to speak, is just icing.

9CL: I’m torn. I want someone else to trounce Amos Sue in the competition just to punish him for the past week, but that would mean we have to sit through another two-week musical montage of McEldowney-style lust, and no one wants that. Plus then we’d have to deal with Edda and Amos Sue fucking to “make each other feel better” (as opposed to “in celebration…” dammit, we can’t escape). I just can’t tell if they’d be more insufferable gloating in victory or sulking in defeat. Can we send Mary Worth in to instruct them how to live their lives? Or cart in a couple spare tumors from the Batiukverse? Please? Or at least have Margo steal the spotlight for a while.

Zombie: Elly’s pissed because St. Michael is stealing her shtick. He even riffs on her “you don’t know what it’s LIKE to be ME IN MY HORRIBLE PUT-UPON EXISTENCE SOB SOB WHINE SLUPP MUNCH CHEW NOM EAT.” I think this is ironclad proof that Lynn really is completely oblivious to what she does every day. (Not that there was ever much doubt, of course, unlike with, say, Moy and Giella or Nolan and Wilson.)

JP: English is an SVO language, Sam. Subject, verb, object. No matter what your elementary school classes taught you, there’s more to a sentence than just a subject and a verb. Dixie never said she doesn’t hate. She said she doesn’t hate men. Big difference. Also, murderous rage Dixie is still inexplicably sexy. Less so than recently, but still sexy.

MT: Wait, since when was Mark tracking animals? Wednesday, 11/26: “I hear an old gator bellowing… I guess we’d better figure out how we can save some of the animals in the swamp!” Thursday, 11/27: “You’d better stay here with Pamela and Pop, Andy, until I can figure out how to get some of the animals to safety before the swamp completely dries up! We’ll have a lot of work to do tomorrow!” And then WHACK, Mark is chained to a log. Does “getting animals to safety” mean tracking them and capturing them to put in the bathtub or something? Or do Pamela and Pop just assume that Mark’s out hunting more mustachioed hillbillies? I can see how they would call our hairy villains “animals,” except for the fact that the Good Guys in this strip generally respect animals, so I’m confused.

Garfield: If Mark Trail were to burst in an RFoJ Garfield right there, I’d buy the original art.

Monty: Part PSA, part sight gag, part wtf punchline. But I generally like Monty and the skele-turtle sight gag was funny, so it gets a pass.

Dilbert: No Xs in the eyes? Really?

BeBa: ZOMG MISS BUXLEY ON A FRIDAY! IS THAT LEGAL? MY MIND, SHE IS BLOWN.

C’shaft: Blah blah woe is us blah blah 4 AM TV show blah blah looks of despair blah blah technology lulz.

SalFo: Huh. Two waffles and a pancake is a sure-fire heart attack? I guess if it were visibly dripping with butter and/or syrup and/or whipped cream or something, but thankfully Ces and Macintosh have more taste than Foob. (Don’t trip over that bar, there.) Either way, I kind of want to try that now, but thankfully, not enough to actually do it.

PmP: Um, what? Is it funny because Joan of Arc (I guess that’s Joan of Arc?) got burned at the stake? So why is Joan of Arc set up with a superhero? Or… what the hell, I give up.

32 commodorejohn: In the context of a discussion about eggs (and eating them, no less) the idea of a plugger-chicken-lady “putting out” is gross and unnerving. More so than usual, I mean.
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 5th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Huzzah for alcohol!

1 Josh, 7 Naked Bunny With a Whip — Now I know how Josh got his cold.

9 Bitter Scribe, 16 saxman — I used to be a B2B journalist, too! Also, Bitter Scribe, now you have me craving marinated cheese.
Hogan
December 5th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

MW: The doctor can’t explain why Lynn won’t talk to me! How good a doctor can he be if he hasn’t figured out what a miserable bastard I am?
B
December 5th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Too hungover to get to work on time? Crap, I really am a plugger. Does it help that I’m getting trashed on imported vodka not not boxes of wine or Pabst Blue Ribbon?
bats :[
December 5th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

27. Nekrotzar: if you liked that particular story, try to find the DVDs for Dahl’s BBC series “Tales of the Unexpected.” They’re great fun to watch, and it’s a real party game to recognize British actors along the way. This particular one stuck with me because the main police inspector was played by Brian Blessed, and although he looked like himself, it was darned peculiar to see him NOT wearing chain mail or plate armor or a toga or wings…

33. Niall: it….it’s like the camera’s subject and Kit were separated at birth!
Comrade Denny
December 5th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

#45 Zaq – in defense of Sally Forth, she never says what will make her a widow by 45, just that she will be one. Could be diabetes. Could be she she just gets tired of being married to a man-child, kills him with a frozen waffle, and feeds it to Hil Xmas morning…
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
December 5th, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

OK, what the is a B2B journalist? I also know someone who claims to be one, but she seems to be out of work most of the time…
Brick Bradford
December 5th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

#48 If it’s imported from Russia or Finland, it helps. If it’s imported from Ottawa, no.
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 5th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

42 Lake Eerie Log Chains Re: DT — You have some really high expectations, you know that?
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
December 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

48 — B — Depends if you have to run said vodka through a Brita filter to make it drinkable…
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

Al OTCSJP 51 — It’s a journalist for a business-to-business publication.
Esther Blodgett
December 5th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

If B2B journalism means stringing together warmed-over platitudes and asinine buzzwords for corporate drones who don’t realize they’d be happier if they didn’t let success at business define their lives or their self-worth, then yeah, I’ve done some o’ that, too. But I’m not bitter about it.
Violet
December 5th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

I’m not proud of any aspect of this, but I was sufficiently curious as to the actual back story of this BG & SS vignette to look up the last week or so to see if there’s anything leading up to or explaining this. Yeah, no, there’s not. I’m forced to conclude that its authors assume a sort of universal familiarity with the day-to-day routine of the hillbilly lifestyle such that we’re all supposed to be thinking, “Well, duh, he stole his one of his neighbor’s chickens and now the sheriff’s after him. That’s happened to me like three times already this week.” I’d like to be able to say I find this supposition of experiential commonality heartwarming or at least acceptable, but my reaction is tending more toward miffed and supercilious.
Old School Allie Cat
December 5th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

#9 Bitter Scribe – My boss is a big fan of the Pig=Committment analogy. He uses it A LOT.

He’s also overly attached to the phrase “at the end of the day”. To the point where we make a game of it in meetings.

He also quotes from “Bull Durham” though, so it’s not all bad.
Sophie
December 5th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Zits: snubbed the monkey? That sounds like slang for…well lets leave that to the imagination
Old Guy
December 5th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

A twisted twist on the “Lamb to the Slaughter” plot line was in “Eating Raoul”, in which the murder victims were, as Hannibal Lecter might have put it in “Silence of the Lambs”, had for dinner.
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
December 5th, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

55, 56 — Oh, you mean the people who write for things like the %&^%& magazine my company puts out to its worldwide employees once a month? Or is it more like the Larimer County Business Journal, which looks like a newspaper but has a narrower target audience?

Any way you slice it, there aren’t enough comics in either publication to make them worth reading (though my company does occasionally quiz employees on the contents to make sure we are reading it).
Zorba the Geek
December 5th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

In Mary Worth, I was actually kind of hoping that Lynn fainted because she was pregnant, by some menacing biker dude who would then appear and beat the snot out of Daddy because of his bullying obsession with Lynn’s figure skating. And maybe, while we’re at it, June Morgan can also beat the snot out of the assistant purser, or whoever he is.
willethompson
December 5th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

#51 Al, etc.: I’ll handle this one, Josh. B2B ‘journalists’ write for ‘business-to-business,’ or ‘trade’ publications, so called because they usually devoted to a particular job category (Pole Dancer Monthly) or industry (Dildo World). I use margoquotes around ‘journalists’ because ‘articles’ in many of these ‘publications’ are ‘mash notes’ to advertisers. It may be that your friend is out of work because her sizzling exposé of unhealthy levels of melamine in Phallus Palace’s signature product did not find favor with DW’s publisher, who notes that PP is good for a 24x full page 4/c placement including cover 4 at convention time.

Or she could just be a slacker. Hey, Rex Morgan calls himself an M.D. but it’s been YEARS since he’s shown up at his office.
Bitter Scribe
December 5th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

#61 – Actually, Al, I’m talking about publications, usually magazines, that are targeted to people who work in a given industry or business, like Restaurants and Institutions or Modern Builder. There’s one for just about every legal way to make a living (and a couple of illegal ones).
Cedar
December 5th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

June seems to have smaller breasts than usual, throughout this week.
Old School Allie Cat
December 5th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Ah, yes, I just received my latest copy of Support World today. Can’t wait to crack it open. The centerfold is the best part.
willethompson
December 5th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

…aaaaand I let fly my bon mot about Dildo World and failed to mention that when you place an ad in a trade pub, it’s called an insertion.
ladadog
December 5th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

“I’m confused.” * …by the post, by Pluggers and by Ziggy. Time for happy hour.

*Old man in Moonstruck
tbiggs
December 5th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

For me (I’m not a Plugger please dear ghod no), it’s quicker to say “The early worm gets the bird.”
Bitter Scribe
December 5th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

I use margoquotes around ‘journalists’ because ‘articles’ in many of these ‘publications’ are ‘mash notes’ to advertisers.

I am “shocked” and “appalled” that you are questioning my “integrity.”

…Oops, gotta go. Cover 4 advertiser on the line.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
December 5th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith – Yes, my mind went exactly where Josh’s did when I read this. And then I thought, it’s probably simpler than that. He probably just stole the chicken.
Jordon
December 5th, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith is a chicken thief, and they’re eating the chicken he stole.
Pendragon
December 5th, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

#12 – My dead tree version of Ziggy was so badly printed I thought it read “suckasitis” which could mean “inflammation of the suck”. It seemed appropriate for the strip, if not the park.
saxman
December 5th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

9, 46, 51, 56, 61, 63 and anyone else I missed.

B2B.

I figured I was “only” B2B because nobody else cared about and/or could afford my scriblings.

My most successful newsletter was “Membrane and Separation Technology News.” Not something you’ll ever see in the mall.

Now I write proposals and do a fuel cell and an electric car newsletter in my spare time. And dream of mass markets, either for my very own comic strip (pretty unlikely) or my novel (hope springs eternal).

I used to think I could do a comic about a trilobite with extinction issues and a blue color job. Now I tend more to a comic about an illustrator of such a comic. Nawwww…
Josh
December 5th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

re: B2B buzzwords — during the dot-com boom, one of my friends got a summer job as a general lacky at a company called HAHTsite, which made … actually, I have no fucking idea what they made, and I work in the industry, broadly defined, but anyway the company’s motto was “B2B e-selling is HAHT!” which we to this day break each other up with at random times.

And speaking of buzzwords generally, when rooting through a desk drawer looking for scrap paper, I came across a notepad from way back when I had a terrible office job, lo these many years ago. Though I had no memory of having done so, I appear to have made a half-assed attempt to take notes for two sentences and then just started writing down terrible buzzwords and phrases that came out of our CEO’s mouth. Personal favorites include “dollars and eyeballs” and “open the kimono.”
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
December 5th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

B2B publishing pays my mortgage! Unfortunately, my company’s publications are largely targeted to the financial industry. As you might imagine, these are not happy times around the office.

saxman, “Membrane and Separation Technology News” is an awesome name for a B2B product. So much of them are titled exactly like that: they just tell you what they are. No kicky, pithy names like “Time” or “Vogue” for us. Hell, even “Money” is a consumer magazine. The B2B world s more specific than just “money”! “Bank Routing Code Digest”! That’s the good stuff!
tb4000
December 5th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Luann: Financial Aid for Teen Girls…is that what they’re calling it when they have sugar daddies these days?
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
December 5th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Josh — “Open the kimono” was a favorite around the office a year or so ago, always prompting a pause and slight grimace whenever anyone said it. So we kept saying it.

The one that really got overused (though, like all jargon, it’s pretty useful in context) was “low-hanging fruit”. Which sounds an awful lot like a link Dingo might post.
ka-pwingg
December 5th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Born Loser: Brutus is obviously good friends with Herb and Jamaal, as his line “Dinner tonight is a taste sensation, Gladys” would attest.
Poteet
December 5th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

# 1 Josh — I thoroughly sympathize. I used to have to take Sudafed whenever I flew, to prevent ear agony. During one trip, I had to change planes in Chicago, and I just stood there, dazed and doped, in front of a large sign that said “No Entry,” unable to figure out what to do. Finally a stranger saw I needed help, and gently pointed me in the right direction. He could have taken all my money and luggage and I would have just stared vacantly. I bless the inventors of Earplanes.
Catbus
December 5th, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

#40 I share your issues. I live in a town that is reputed to be bike-friendly which has caused me to have higher expectations of drivers. Perhaps I need to move to a place where people aren’t used to cyclists. Then I wouldn’t be disappointed so often.
willethompson
December 5th, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Bitter Scribe and the Saxman: Having spent my professional career on the advertising side of Telephony, Data Communications, Hotel and Motel Management, Elevator World, IEEE Spectrum and Fiber Optic News, I would have killed to have placed an ad in Membrane and Separation Technology News. Oh, the headlines: Our barriers won’t send you to the ‘pore’ house! Or Our centrifuge quality will make your head head spin!

6:39 EST. Time for the meds.
Josh
December 5th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Li’l Bunne et al — yes, let us not speak ill of B2B publishing (B2B e-selling may be a different matter). The fact of it is that most prose and printed matter in this country is created for specialized audiences, so if you’re in the word-slingin’ or -wranglin’ business, you will surely end up there in one way or another.

And of course, it’s a much more lucrative business than the general market. One of my clients, a Web site full of tech newsy stuff, recently opened the kimono for me (heh) and let me see their traffic numbers. I was rather horrified to learn that they got about half the average daily pageviews as my humble comics blog! Yet they sell enough advertising to support two full-time staffers and throw cash at a bevy of freelancers (myself included). Obviously companies are more willing to pay for ads on sites read by people who have the authority and inclination to buy expensive computery things for their company, rather than on sites read by people who think Mary Worth is hilarious. (My blog, I hope it goes without saying, does not produce such revenues.)

That’s why it’s dollars and eyeballs, you see.

My boss at said aforementioned office job and I would look at job ads to try to find the boringest sounding publications; Pulp and Paper Monthly won out, I think. Membrane and Separation Technology News sounds positively riveting, my comparsion. An ex of mine once worked at some kind of medical imaging journal that I can’t remember the actual name of, because she invariably referred to it as “Tumor Week.”

Josh
Islamorada Girl
December 5th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

You trade journal types need to do what we in the dead tree news media do. Play buzzword bingo! Every time your editor livens up a meeting with some hackneyed phrase about mice or pigs or kimonos, you check off your bingo card. The first one to get a complete line quietly says “bingo” and everyone else wakes up for a couple of minutes. Loser buys the booze.
Motorposus
December 5th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

I know I’m not alone in thinking that Funky Winkerbean ought to buy some ad space in “Tumor Week”.
ComixLovin'Cat
December 5th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Wow, Josh, you must be sick to pass up a FW snark. Or maybe you’re challenging yourself?

Les: “I stunk at basketball.” Um, shouldn’t that be “stank?” Oh, well, it’s not like he’s an English teacher or any– Oh, wait. He is an English teacher. Wow. That’s even more depressing than cancer.

Then there’s Mary Worth. Lynn’s father has come to insight and change of heart too quickly and without sufficient platitudes. Mary shall punish him. Then he, too, will be huddled in a sullen mass on a hospital bed, quivering and refusing to interact, and she shall return to Sunnyass Farms or wherever it is she lives in smug satisfaction that if anyone dares to advance emotionally without her help, they will pay a whole band of out of tune Pipers and have to listen to them play inside his head for all eternity.

I second the huzzah to alcohol, btw.
Niall
December 5th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

39. One-eyed Wolfdog: …actually, her zebra porn is in her past entries, somewhere… *cough* At least it’s very-well drawn. :)

45. Zaq: But Mark would never harm a fellow Defender of the Earth! (earthearthearth…)

83. Josh: “Tumor Week” – should we check its subscriber list to see if someone with initials T.B. is on there?

I’ve already started on the alcohol. Redbreast Irish whiskey and Moniack mead.
commodorejohn
December 5th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

#45 Zaq – Thinking about anthropomorphic mammal-avian relations is kind of disturbing anyway, but in the context of Pluggers it’s downright horrifying. But I’m at a loss to explain Chicken-Lady’s survival any other way…

#75 Josh – Speaking of trying to explain things any other way, is there a possible non-geisha business-related interpretation for “open the kimono” that I’m missing? Or is this just a fine example of late-stage buzzword-driven brain deterioration?
Spunky N. Tadpole
December 5th, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

Heh – I read the bottom line of the Ziggy sign as “sucks as it is” – which, at first I took be some sort of clever meta-commentary on the meta-commentary of life that is Ziggy.

Then I realized it was just a misreading. As is Ziggy. *Sigh*
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 5th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

My publication was much more along the lines of the Larimer County Business Journal Al OTCSJP mentioned, but it was also considered B-2-B. We did have a slightly more niche-targeted monthly publication for the construction trades, but mostly it was fairly broad in scope, just targeted to businesspeople. I wrote about real estate, construction, health care, law and technology. Technology was fun because every few months my editor would forget and he and I would have this conversation: Editor: “You forgot to spell out NAND on the first reference. What does it stand for?” Me: “Not and.” Editor: “What?” Me: “It’s Boolean logic!” I love the word Boolean. Sadly, I have never had the opportunity to write about membrane and separation technology.
Bryan
December 5th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

5, Saxman: Who’s up for June’s head from panel 2, but she’s wearing the long-anticipated bikini, and she is fighting off a Somali pirate boarding party with a samari sword.

I am very much up with that. What this strip needs is a visit from The Ghost Who Walks to help fend off the pirates. He can flirt with both June and Rex. You know The Phantom swing both ways.
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
December 5th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

That’s not just your everyday “sexily cruel” in the second panel of Rex Morgan.

That’s “sexily cruel” of the Patrick Nagel variety, worthy of a Duran Duran album cover or a place of prominence in a high-end New Wave dance club where you spike your hair and snort cocaine in the bathroom.

And I for one say, let’s have more of that “sexily cruel”! More! Let’s just change the name of the strip to “June Morgan, S.C.” and be done with it!

- yeff
anonymously
December 5th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith: Yes, he did steal a chicken, the sheriff is about to come a’knockin’, and they have to hurry and get rid of the ‘evidence’. (But what are they going to do about the bones? The smell of chicken in the air? Where are the feathers? Are things so hard up in SS land that there’s only one chicken in town which was stolen by only one known chicken thief – namely, Snuffy Smith? These things bother me.) Not only that, but this particular strip is based on a joke SO OLD that the cavemen were probably telling it. Why, I halfway expect a more modern joke to come up someday, where someone is SO POOR they have to wear a barrel held up by straps!

RMMD: No cruise employee would be so mean, snotty, rude, and arrogant, or look like a pissed off Frenchman who smells dog poop on his brand new shoe. I predict he is not only NOT a cruise ship employee, but he is in cahoots with the hider in the lifeboat. We will see Monsieur Snotte in the months to come!
Joe Blevins
December 5th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

RMMD: “…And this ship only has ten decks!” (creepy Peter Lorre-esque laugh)

BG&SS: Snuffy should never be depicted sitting in a regular adult-sized chair, because it makes him look like the world’s ugliest, wrinkliest, most mustachioed baby.

PLUGGERS: This cartoon looks like a scene from the upcoming plugger remake of The Karate Kid in which both Miyagi and Daniel-san are morbidly obese, nobody actually does any karate, and the final contest is to see who can eat the most cans of birthday cake frosting in one sitting.
Niall
December 5th, 2008 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

I’m re-reading My Cage, and it just so happens that <a href=”http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070604&name=My_Cage”<this, the first coloured weekday strip, also happens to be the arrival of Maureen. A pink Maureen… But that she was introduced the way Cassandra was. So it looks like Max is not wholly incompetent…
Poteet
December 5th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

# 84 Isla Girl — You quietly say “bingo” at the meeting? Don’t you risk, like, being fired? Or is that risk part of the thrill? Or is Editor oblivious to everything but the sound of Editor’s own voice?
Niall
December 5th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

…My Cage then did a funny Teletubbies joke. Ed Power, you’re now even cooler. :)
willethompson
December 5th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

#91 Bryan: The Phantom will be disappointed, my friend. Rex Morgan swings no ways.
De Groot of All Evil
December 5th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

Blondie and Hi and Lois battled in epic fashion today over who could make a better joke about the friction between kids loving rock&roll and extremely dorky fathers not caring. Oddly, neither one came out a winner.

Next Monday is Ted Forth vs. Arlo in a battle to see who can be more bemused.
Bitter Scribe
December 5th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

My boss at said aforementioned office job and I would look at job ads to try to find the boringest sounding publications; Pulp and Paper Monthly won out, I think.

You obviously didn’t see a magazine called Industrial Paint & Powder. I actually worked at that thing for eight weeks, which felt like eight years. It was as exciting as watching something dry.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

Marthas Rolling Pin @11 – My hometown paper, the Coloradoan, carried “Out Our Way” until something like 1970 or 1971. Man, we used to have a great comic section. When I started being aware of the strip, I preferred Neg Cochran’s work to J.R. Williams (which is similar to preferring John Romita to Steve Ditko on Spider-Man). Both artists were on the panel (and Sunday strip) for a while, then it was all Cochran. Then for one year, Walt Wetterburg inexplicably took the strip over (I used to speculate that Wetterburg was the original artist of “You Want it WHEN??”, based on his Saturday Evening Post drawings, but I believe somebody convinced me it was not he.) Then Cochran came back — the way they handled the handoff, it was actually a different family moving into their house for a year, and when it was over, they traded off again, both times with the two artists working together on the particular Sunday page where they switched over. For a while I was scanning “Out Our Way” panels from a scrapbook a friend gave me from 1943 — I have 25 classic Williams panels at my flickr page, and some day I plan to do more, but the amount of clean-up I have to do on them is daunting.

Huntch @18 – I hated Rose is Rose for years, then it got good for a while, and now I hate it again. So it goes. During the initial phase, there was a strip where they were wondering how Pasquale could be so happy all the time, and the answer (showing his room full of beaming toys and little icons representing love, sunshine, happiness, plus BHA and BHT to preserve packaging freshness) was “Peer pressure!” (Awwwww!) Only in my version, the answer was “Brain damage!”

Al @61 – Color me pathetic. I miss my home town so much that my ears perked up every time you said (or someone quoted) “Larimer County.” Part of this comes from the fact that I feel I’m entitled to go home once a year, and I’ve only been to the Fort twice in the 2000s so far. I mean, what the fcking HELL!
Islamorada Girl
December 5th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

96-Poteet: In the demoralized, depressed newsroom where I toiled and soiled, the editor heard only the sound of his own voice droning on and on and using every cliche from every how to to succeed in business book ever scribbled.

Every once in a while, someone would actually yell BINGO! Editor thought he’d connected with the drones and was happy. He had the intelligence and personality of a mayfly.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 5th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

#1 Josh & #2 lake erie log chains,
I’m on the cold boat as well. Luckily my coughs have produced some phlegm and no blood. You’re welcome.

Speaking of which, I was sure the sign in Ziggy said “sick as it is.” I guess I was wrong. That would have been a lot weirder.

In “Rex Morgan” it’s really the help that’s being mean to June at this point. Ridiculously so, for a guy who’s supposed to be angling for tips.
dull_old_man
December 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

ComixLovin’Cat (86)
Webster’s on-line accepts ’stunk.’

My mother was an English teacher, and she thought that using ’stank’ or ’stunk’ was vulgar. She would tell Les to say he was never very good at basketball.

Josh (83)
You have to make your work enjoyable. When I did a newsletter for property managers, I converted BTUs to cases of beer in a glossary of heating terms. They can both be expressed as calories, and property managers understand beer. I got fan mail after that issue.

dull_old_man
Comixchick
December 5th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

If Snuffy Smith can re-enact Roald Dahl’s “Lamb to the Slaughter,” is it too much to hope that Mark Trail will stage Dahl’s “A Dip in the Pool?” I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
Lou Shumaker
December 5th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Hmmm, there seems to be an inordinate number of ink-stained wretches. I’m honored to be in such company.

Since I’m still in the newspaper biz, I must adhere to the code of omerta, except to note that that these are not happy times in the industry. CC provides fast relief!
The Waz
December 5th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

85 – Buy space? I was thinking it was the FW alumni newsletter.
Mars
December 5th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Wait, how is Rex Morgan rich? This is news to me. Next you’ll be telling me Mark Trail is a billionaire who just lives in the woods….
Josh
December 5th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

#88 commodorejohn — to “open the kimono” means to reveal to a potential customer that which was previously hidden. If you’re a geisha, it means opening your kimono to show your boobies. If you’re (say) a small privately held dot-com in late 2000 or early 2001, it means that you tell potential investors and/or merger partners that you’re not profitable and have no real path to profitability, but have a lot of “mindshare.”

Josh
Shermy Glamrocker
December 5th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

I’m certain that the Rex Morgan storyline will involve pirates.

However, Somalian pirates are much too current, and the Spanish Main pirates are far too ancient, even for this strip.

Which pirates were popular in, say, 1958?
blackgoat
December 5th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Terry and the Pirates ?
The Pittsburg Pirates ?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 5th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

The worst job I ever had was as a one-man writing/editing/pagination crew for a trio of trade publications: Airline Ship & Catering Onboard Service Magazine, Health Care Foodservice Magazine, and Correctional Foodservice Magazine. I used to use the joke “name the three most disgusting kinds of food you know, and we have a magazine for it.” The joke never worked though, because people would always guess “uh, brussels sprouts, liver, and limburger cheese?” and I’d have to say “No, airline food, hospital food, and prison food.” And they’d say “Oh.” and not laugh. Anyway, stories of Cheapest Boss in the World can come later, but I did want to say that you’ve not known soul-crushing boredom until you’ve been tasked to write this year’s annual roundup of prison tray technology. Try to get 1,500 words out of “Well, Brick, this year we’re making them even harder to make into weapons.”

Getting out of there was even more satisfying than getting out of newspapers, since the latter was done to me involuntarily.

I must add that the hands-down best trade publication I’ve ever seen was one that was inexplicably delivered every month to a community newspaper where I worked. This publication was titled “Septic Tank News & Views.” I never read it far enough to find if it in fact contained any actual views on septic tanks, though I imagine that if it did, they would be along the lines of “Wow, these things are smelly.”
Poteet
December 5th, 2008 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

# 102 Islamorada Girl — Wow. That seems to call for a dark Dickens novel in which the editor would be named something like Windom Blusterbag and you would be Little Isla.
Esther Blodgett
December 5th, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Those of you who have written for trade magazines, no matter how narrowly focused or stultifyingly dull, have my utmost respect. I worked for a…self-help guru. Think Steven Covey or Spencer Johnson, but much more low-rent. This gentleman (it was actually a male-female pair, but she was just window-dressing and probably his mistress) had spun a 20-year career out of six months’ worth of original research. I rehashed the same material ad nauseum, and the funny thing was, even when it was practically his words verbatim, he almost always re-wrote everything I did. The only positive outcome of 9/11 was that I got laid off in the economic slowdown that followed.

There are many talented writers here, and I salute you all, no matter what you do to pay the bills!
Poteet
December 5th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

# 112 Spectacular — If anyone could get 1,500 words out of that subject, I bet you could:-).
Alfred E. Neuman
December 6th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

Patrick ILLD, gleeb, Islamorada Girl, et al. (yesterthread): I hate to sound like a smartass (although I am one), but I linked 9CL to the Kreutzer Sonata three weeks ago under “Looming doom”:

105. Alfred E. Neuman says:
November 12th, 2008 at 3:34 am

Wednesday stuff

9CL— And the Kreutzer Sonata plays on… The ever-observant judges are amused, but are they impressed?

Here is McEldowney’s inspiration (via Prinet, Tolstoy, and Beethoven):
http://www.artnet.com/Artists/LotDetailPage.aspx?lot_id=810CEA47E82042B6

#1 Josh— I sybathize cobpletely. I also hab a code id by head. I cad’t sdark by way out of a wet paper bag today. I recobbed Dyquil. I hope you get well sood!
Poteet
December 6th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Those of you who were competent in your writing jobs, whatever they were, have my respect. I was the editor of a human-resources newsletter for a small government agency. The very inept editor. Fortunately, I was only in that position for a few short (but very long) months.

And on the other end of the competence scale, I briefly bow my head in sympathy for Brian Duffy, the editorial cartoonist for the DES MOINES REGISTER, who drew good and often funny cartoons for the REG front page and was rewarded after decades of work by being abruptly dumped from his job this week as part of the latest round of layoffs. I’ve never met you, Brian, but you deserved better.
P
December 6th, 2008 at 1:02 am [Reply]

FC: Wow. It actually made me laugh today.
Angry Kem
December 6th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

Stave four of A Comic-Strip Christmas Carol is finally up on Japes.

Friday’s MW: The sign has changed again! It’s changed again! And an inky black leech has attached itself to Mary’s face! And Skater-Dad is turning into Walter from The Big Lebowski! I’m excited!
Molly
December 6th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

RMMD: I agree, no way is that an employee. In the last panel we see him in profile and he is clearly an archetypal terrorist. I didn’t catch the name of this cruise ship. It’s not the Achille Lauro by any chance, is it?
Charles J
December 6th, 2008 at 2:14 am [Reply]

Have you ever looked at Ziggy and thought, boy, what would Andy Warhol do?

I never did, until tonight. I hereby present, a labor of love that took probably 10 minutes: Ziggyhol:
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m259/eChuckler/ziggy_warhol.jpg
Trekkie
December 6th, 2008 at 2:51 am [Reply]

12/6 GT – Doth mine eyes deceive me? We will no longer have Marty Moon’s beard to kick around? I mean, are they trying to alienate the last few people who actually read this strip?
monsieurjohn
December 6th, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]

Oh man, I LOVE Roald Dahl’s stories for grownups. I had a whole book of them and they were all similarly gruesome and fantastic.
ShutUpEccles
December 6th, 2008 at 3:07 am [Reply]

12/6 FC – What happened to Thel’s arm? Has she been dipping into Popeye’s spinach, is it a Winkerbean tumor, elephantitis?

SM – Waitaminnit, how did Clocky McTimepiece manage to grab JJJ and tie him to a hugh fraggin’ clock in the middle of (Grand Central Station? the Mall?) and have NO ONE notice? I’m not looking for coherent storytelling here but this is turning into Dick Tracy-level insanity!
Mibbitmaker
December 6th, 2008 at 3:16 am [Reply]

12/6 (6 being one half of 12):

9CL: (Rolls Eyes) Oh, brother!

A3G: Det. Doppelganger gets Margo all worked up (“Some view” – HA!), just to start detecting. He’s a master at zigging and zagging, ain’t he?

DT: Each panel deserves its own snark…
p1: Dick Tracy, Master of Exposition!
p2: Grusm, sn’t t?
p3: Handcuffs with nothing connecting the cuffs?? Dick must’ve borrowed them from Spider-Man.

ReFOOB: God’s just got the beauty of nature, Santa has an agent.

FW: Creepy, Weird and Violent Les. When does the list of bad qualities ever end?!

GT: How long will this go on before someone says, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any more!”?

JP: “Tonight”? Make that “in the next nanosecond”, Kujo-Woman!

MW: Uh… Lynn’s dad… “usual” is the problem, dumbass! Also… what will the sign say next? I’m guessing either “axolotl” or “notary sojak”.

OBH: Actually, this strip’s pretty good at satire.

Ghost-Who-Has-No-Known-Cure: Oh, now that hurt!

R&R: ‘F’ is for something else, too…

RMMD: That kid could be the next Margo, I tells ya…!

SH: “Oh, by the way… you’re welcome!”

S-M: And, in one fell swoop, media in the area will improve greatly!

ZtP: Well, there’s always Conan O’Brien, building.

Zits: Somebody please slap Jeremy — hard and repeatedly!

I gotta do one more Dick Tracy, panel 2:
Gee, didn’t I see that comic book cover at a ’50s Senate hearing once…?
tymime
December 6th, 2008 at 3:19 am [Reply]

I don’t suppose you’ve considered that Snuffy and the parson might actually be eating whomever was killed? That was my first thought.
Bobdog
December 6th, 2008 at 3:32 am [Reply]

This father-son talk about “the birds and the rodents” is going to leave that young anthropomorphic rhino Plugger-let mighty confused — way to turn your kid gay, Plugger.
trooper6
December 6th, 2008 at 3:58 am [Reply]

Mary Worth is a horrible person.

She’s letting the Dad feel like he might have been at fault when it was clearly Mary emotionally terrorizing a figure skater on the edge.
True Fable
December 6th, 2008 at 4:14 am [Reply]

FC So this is where the kids get their shapes – Thel’s upper arm is like a horrible warning sign the o.b. should have seen coming.
WTF GT So you dump Marty Moon and put on Hat Man? Oddly, it’s an improvement and that, my friends, is sad as hell.
Scenes from Suburban Hell See, if only they’d let Thirsty keep drinking they’d be well insulated from the cold by now. But NOOoooo..
JP Wait, wait! Don’t send in the SWAT team; we deserve to see Sam driving off with Dixie in a Thelma and Louise kind of goose chase! Besides, her shrinking hoodie hasn’t disappeared enough yet.
Marvin Why are they wearing their glasses to bed? Are their dreams coming in fuzzy?
MW The ever-changing background sign is the most exciting part of this snoozefest.
Phantom That’s how you say “Fuck you” in the Bandar tongue.
R&R F is for Fetid.
RMMW Maybe this will be one of those cruises that gets hit by pirates, and they’ll be saved by the Ghost-Who-Never-Learns.
Rubes … damn! If only I had Photoshop, there’s a number of characters I could replace Alan with.
Tiger This is the 10,000th strip in a row that this thing just isn’t funny.
steggieav
December 6th, 2008 at 4:21 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan MD: What’s the deal with little Sarah? She looks like Agent Smith with those sunglasses.
Alfred E. Neuman
December 6th, 2008 at 4:39 am [Reply]

#120 Molly Re: RMMD— The ship as portrayed in last Sunday’s strip
( http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20081130&name=Rex_Morgan )
is clearly one of Carnival Cruise Lines’ “Fantasy” class of ships.
(See http://www.carnival.com/cms/fun/ships/carnival_fantasy/default.aspx?shipCode=FA)
I wonder if Carnival is very happy with how the Morgans’ on-board treatment is being portrayed? Maybe Wilson or Nolan had a bad cruise experience, and this is their way of getting back at Carnival.
Baka Gaijin
December 6th, 2008 at 5:06 am [Reply]

Saturday’s Strip:

Hagar the Horrible: I’m not a doctor nor do I play one in Rex Morgan, but, I don’t think you can blame this sleep eating on Ambien, Hagar.
Baka Gaijin
December 6th, 2008 at 5:17 am [Reply]

#10 Chelsea:

Okay, seriously, Mary Worth…Please tell me you’re keeping a secret and Lynn is actually has mutated chicken feet. That would be troubling.

No, Chelsea, that would be fracking hilarious! I shot a superfluous comma out my nose into my last post from laughing at this, right before I fainted from hypoxia.
Jack Parsons
December 6th, 2008 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Ummmm… does the parson eat chicken bones? Otherwise, where does all of the evidence go?

Or does the sheriff not know that chicken bones belong to chickens?
Dingo
December 6th, 2008 at 6:55 am [Reply]

And then, with six short words — “Will you talk to her, Mary?” — Frank Griffin sealed both his and his daughter’s doom.
papa zita
December 6th, 2008 at 7:32 am [Reply]

#40: Live in my neighborhood, Kem. As yet, I haven’t seen a bike rider obey a stop sign. I don’t mean a slow-down roll through either, but completely ignore it, traffic or no. A bike rider yelled at me once for going after I stopped at a 4-way stop and she didn’t. I also notice that the more expensive the riding gear, the more likely the rider won’t obey a single traffic law at all. Not even stop lights.
GROAN..
December 6th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

#12, 73- Glad to know I wasn’t alone, in initially reading Pantsless Morbidity’s signage-mirth as “Suckasitis”…

Remember, folks- it’s not genuine Wilson, unless you see all “I”s circle-dotted; plus, feel a combination of bleakness, nausea, and the sneaking suspicion that at least one person on the planet still fervently wishes the calendar read “1970″…

Don’t feel too guilty, Josh- I too chuckled briefly, before the sheer “Ziggy-ness” of it completely overwhelmed my ability to find humor in any situation.

Also, the lessons learned about “B2B journalism” while perusing this comment-thread have been most entertaining and edifying…

In closing, (and you have full permission to hate me for this, but Tom Wilson demands it)-
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!
Amateur
December 6th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

MW: Maybe her COLD behavior was triggered by too much time on the ICE!

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 6th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Dear Keanes: Please go look at a soccer ball and PAY ATTENTION. This is beginning to upset me.

Also, would it be tacky to suggest that, except for the new & strategic insertion of the word “calendar”, this is probably a very familiar sales pitch coming from Tiffany?
Amateur
December 6th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

#116 — Maybe McEldowney’s thinking “Kreutzer Sonata.” I’m thinking Beethoven and Tolstoy would both vomit all over the strip. Maybe Prinet too.
Angry Kem
December 6th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

#136 papa zita: Yes, I realise that some cyclists don’t obey the law. Do you think those of us who do obey it are happy with those people? The idiots who ride on sidewalks and run red lights at busy intersections give the rest of us a bad name and allow drivers to respond to our pleas of, “Stop trying to kill us,” with, “Why should we care what happens to you? You keep riding on sidewalks and running red lights at busy intersections!” However, I would aver that the response is unfair. 1) I obey the law. 2) I nearly died about six times the last time I was on the road. 3) Thank you for throwing disobedient cyclists in my face, but they really have nothing to do with the fact that people keep almost killing me.

Sorry. No offence, papa zita. Have a cookie. It’s just that I have heard this response too damn many times. Some people use the “Cyclists are evil and keep riding on the sidewalk!” thing as an argument against the city making more bike lanes.

Er…comics!

S-M: Someone needs to drop a clock on this whole strip. In fact, someone needs to drop a clock on a lot of these strips. Squashing Crock with a giant timepiece would be an act of mercy.

9CL: If this continues next week, I shall not only drop a clock on it but chain it to a log and sink it deep, deep in the middle of the ocean. WE. GET. IT. ALREADY. Yeesh.

Garfield: Why does it matter if you have pants, Jon? How often do we see your lower half? Actually…why does it matter if you have a lower half? Judging from Garfield’s apparent height as compared to you, you actually scuttle along on little crab legs.

FC: Obviously, what this strip needs is to have a clock dropped on it. Is this Execrable Pun Week? I always try to sleep through Execrable Pun Week.
Brick Bradford
December 6th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Oh, where to begin…it’s shooting fish in a barrel day.
MW So Frank is asking Mary, whose meddling has reduced Lynn to a quivering mass despair, to meddle some more. This will help.

SM First we begin with the Most Unnecessary Dialogue Balloon EVER (“We’ve tied you to the clock, Jameson”) and then we see Maria actually STANDING DIRECTLY UNDER THE CLOCK WHICH IS SUSPENDED BY ONE WIRE BECAUSE HER VIOLENT, CLOCK OBSESSED EX-HUSBAND TOLD HER TO! Nothing suspicious about that.

RMMD Way to make little Sara feel secure about the trip there, June. Oh, and Sara your old man is a doctor. You are rich.
Visitor
December 6th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

S-M: Back when Spidey woke up from his nap in the museum to find Big Time looting the place, didn’t he hide a camera to take pictures of him “capturing” the bad guys? What happened to that? Did I miss him going back to find that he’d left the lens cap on? Or to realize that hiding something in a trash can is a bad idea if you can’t get back there before the cleaning crew does?
Uncle Balustrade
December 6th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Re: Snuffy Smith: Anyone seen “Jughaid” recently? What did they do with him?

Oh, BTW, Sudafed is OK for colds, but I still have a supply of Percocet that they gave me to wean me off the morphine from my recent operation. Still have the cold, but don’t care. No side effects, or anthing. Im still a pretty good pretzler.Gotta go; time to open the soap ducats French Canadian bean soup. Talk to the sword, the chimney sweeps. I want to pay. Let them leave me be.
Mibbitmaker
December 6th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

#141 (Angry Kem) Re: S-M/Crock: I don’t think that’ll help — squashed Crock would only look exactly the same as regular Crock. And then that strip would think nothing happened to it, going on as its usual, wretched self.

Now, dropping a giant jar of White-Out on Crock would be another story.
Talking Squirrel
December 6th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Nice to see Zippy dreams of celebrating his holiday season with a halfway tree.

Clearly not a rubber tree; the leaves are much too pointy, and anyway, Zippy would be pronouncing the books to be not “loamy”, but “chewy”.

Happy Holidays, zipster, and don’t forget to leave a lil’ sumthin-sumthin offa dat for Santa!
bats :[
December 6th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

121. Charles J: sadly, I never thought “What would Warhol do with Ziggy?”.
OTOH, I have thought “What would Warhol do with Rex Morgan?”.
Why? Because, as I suspect you know, it’s there:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3035415113/

Very nice work on Ziggy — I don’t think either of us has the mental or physical fortitude (gastrointestinal, particularly) to do a Marilyn a la Warhol with Mary Worth…
BuckysWife
December 6th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

I’m coming to this late, but the Pluggers are right! We once found a dead mouse in a trap, with about 3/4 of the cheese nibbled away. We imagined a mini-narrative to explain this: First mouse comes, takes the bait, and whack!–gets his little neck snapped. Second and third mouse walk by: “Oh, no–it’s Harold! He’s….he’s…. Look! Cheese!”
Kenny
December 6th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

I really thought that Pluggers read:
“Pluggers value emptiness… as lonely as existence.”

Sure it makes little sense, but sense is something a Plugger rarely has.
Joe
December 6th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

NLcH: Oh, Dandy, Anselms’ ontological argument is so 11th century.

GH8: Hey, please don’t snark on this. My uncle almost died from an infected bunion.

VeeM: I never knew even that there was an Albanian stereotype.

3RH: Old people cutting loose with a water canon never gets old. Ha, ha.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 6th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

9CL: Accio rosa!

A3G: Maybe he has to go to work now and then, or, I dunno, buy food?! How dumb can one be and still get promoted to detective?

BB: “Our progress was steady, except for June, when fluctuations in the timestream caused the camp to progress backwards and forwards in time, causing this temporal knot you see here. Only the timely intervention of The Doctor saved us from the Sontaran invasion and set us back firmly in 1954, where we belong.”

Crock: Is Eugene Hobbs a heretofore unknown son of Momma’s Sonja Hobbs?

(WT)DT: No, you can “get her” on those charges. You’re the cop, you know. Or maybe Dick is one of those special kinds of cops who are only in charge of causing suspects’ gruesome deaths, and has never actually arrested someone before?

FC: No, what this house needs is SOME FUCKING DISCIPLINE. Starting with you, Thel.

thorps. My forecast for this strip is a strong front of public Marty Moon drunkenness followed by flurries of awesome.

Hateeachothers: Yes, they do, it’s called “jerky.” That’s a word you should be familiar with, Leroy, since it describes both how you act and the only way you’re getting off tonight.

OBH: “God doesn’t act directly on the world any more, Ruthie. When He wants to change the past, He sends us a Karl Rove.”

Stripeybutt of the Jungle: In the Bandar tongue, the letter “o” sounds like “a” and “ghost” is pronounced “sshole.”

R+R: F is for FAIL.

S-M: How did they manage to reach the clock from the balcony, much less hang him up there with that impossible arrangement of ropes, and have nobody see them doing it?! I mean, it’s not like anyone in a train station would ever look up at a clock. But never mind that. Big-Time has to tie Jameson to the clock, so that when he drops it on Maria, New York’s Finest will blame Jameson for her death. I mean, he’s there, he’s unconscious, tied up and helpless, he must have done it!
John C Fremont
December 6th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

# 69 tbiggs – I hope that was intended as a John Carradine reference. That’s how I’m taking it, anyway.

# 142 Brick Bradford – Oh, no, Rex Morgan is not a rich doctor. He’s more of a Marcus Welby type who probably lets his uninsured patients pay him with potatoes or chickens or corn bread. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a hunky assistant who rides to work on a Triumph. (The motorcycle, not the insult comic dog.)

# 121 & 147 – I want a WWWD bracelet.

DT – Is she wearing handcuffs, or is she giving herself a fist-bump while wearing matching braclets? Since this is the bizarro world of Dick Tracy, either interpretation works as well as the other.

I wonder if her braclets say WWWD?

FC – I’ve been waiting and waiting for a comic to give the the opportunity to make a “Ballroom Blitz” reference, but why did it have to be The Family Circus?

That’s one angry looking baseball on the table, by the way.

Pluggers – Sad, but true. Plus, I actually have to express my appreciation for the car’s tail pipe being held up with what I assume to be bailing wire. I’m flashing back to happy, Pluggery childhood memories of crawling under a ‘64 Chevy to fix a sagging muffler. And under a ‘66 Dodge three quarter ton pickup. And under a ‘68 Dodge half ton…
nerowolfgal
December 6th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

NLcH: Oh, Dandy, Anselms’ ontological argument is so 11th century.

Ack! Flashback to my second year university minor.

Actually I also thought it was on interesting riff how the medieval mind thought the definition of words had a actual reality. “My definition of the Moon includes the fact it is made of green cheese. Therefore you cannot speak of the Moon without acknowledging its’ green cheeseness.”
bartcow
December 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

Before I even read your comments, I thought, “is Snuffy Smith actually going for the Roald Dahl reference? Are we to believe that the denziens of Hootin’ Holler are familiar with 20th century literature, or more to the point, books?”

If the allusion is purely coincidental, that’s somehow even more disturbing.

Oh, and re: yesterday’s Red & Rover (http://comics.com/red&rover/2008-12-05/): E is for Eaten Alive.
The Duck
December 6th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

quack.

But I digress. I laughed at ziggy before I even noticed the sign nailed to the tree. He is wearing a silly hat, and he’s not wearing any pants.
bartcow
December 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Oh, and I’m sure it wasn’t covered since it’s just way too easy, but I read yesterday’s Zits as: Pierce masturbates a lot. If there’s another way to read it, I’d like to know.

Comics are really filthy these days. Won’t somebody think of the children?
Les of the Jungle Patrol
December 6th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

When I worked in the dot com bubble (alas), I strongly suspected that the phrase “open the kimono” only fell into popular use because it gave extremely unsexy middle management and engineer types the excuse to say something titillating and sexist at work.

And when I say “strongly suspected” I mean, “knew from the bottom of my heart.”

Fortunately, as a sexy engineer, I felt no compulsion to repeat the phrase.

What I miss from those days is nerf wars, with guns that shot foam darts. A cubicle farm is well suited to nerf combat.
Poteet
December 6th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

# 125 Mibbitmaker — Omigawd, you’re right about Widdew Sawah. I can hardly wait til she starts dating. (Or being asked on dates and responding with cutting remarks that cause the askers to whimper loudly and keep their hands over their genital areas as they retreat.) And given Sawah’s freakish language and appearance, it may not be long.
StrangeRover
December 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Mallard: Wait…. is this a nonpolitical strip today (saturday)? Notice I said ’strip’, not ‘joke’.
Mel
December 6th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Can I be part of the trade journal alumni?

I worked briefly for shoe trade publishing company. We worked in a basement office, laying out shoe trade publications (leather tanning processes, heel/sole technologies). This was before computers — so hours with phototypeset galleys, hot wax, and burnishers.

They brought me in as a temp — the person I was replacing had been murdered (not at work).

So depressing — hadn’t thought of it in years.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
December 6th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth is actually providing the untold backstory to Tonya Harding, who later went on to rebel by drinking and drag racing, but never lost her drive to compete – and win! – ice skating competitions, by any means necessary.

It’s this kind of timely, finger-on-the-pulse-of-America cultural references that one expects to find in long-running soap strips!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
December 6th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Les of the Jungle Patrol @ 157
I never thought of “open the kimono” as a sexist term… after all, both men and women wear kimonos. And since it as usually men talking, I just imagined they were opening the kimono to reveal their own bait-and-tackle.
Phred22
December 6th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Spidey: We’re setting up for a big conspiracy. Maria is never going to admit she’s been standing under this clock totally oblivious to what’s happening to Jonah. And Jonah will realize he’s looking like a bigger fool than ever. Let’s not forget Lefty has been involved in all this dressed as Spiderman and no one has called the cops on him. Will the cops admit how badly they’re doing their job? No, these folks will all blame Spidey.
Typical S-M plotline
aloha_breeze
December 6th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Get Fuzzy: So…why is today’s GF the same as the strip for December 9, 2006?
gleeb
December 6th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

A3G: Fella, you’re looking at the reason he leaves town a lot.

FC: Folks, you have four kids already. I don’t think you need a dedicated room for making more.

‘bean: “Dad! No fisting on school grounds!”

Gil: If he’s all heart, does that mean he’s defective all over?

Spidey: I think Big-Time’s problem is that he’s not focused. First he’s a clock thief, then he’s trying to ruin Spider-Man’s reputation, now he’s getting revenge on his ex. He should pick one thing and stick to that.

Alfred E Newman: Sorry, I missed it. You didn’t comment amidst a bunch of comments about FBoFW, did you? My eyes kind of glaze over when there are a lot of them.
aloha_breeze
December 6th, 2008 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

GF: Actually, why is the whole Bucky’s-petition-to-get-Rob-kicked-out-of-the-house storyline just a repeat of the week of Dec. 4, 2006?
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

9CL – “Edda, quit your invisible juggling and check this out. Have you ever seen a rose stem curve like this? Me neither.”

A3G – Yes, that must be some view…of a bunch of buildings. In other news, Tom Collins seems to think that Eric is flying out to meet with Colombian drug lords or something. This is ridiculous, because Margo would crush them like flies if they tried to interfere with her relationship. (The only reason Tibet still stands is because Margo is waiting for Eric to get out of it and bediamond her <a href=”http://joshreads.com/?p=1574″naked, ringless fingers.)

BS – Basil, escaping? You might want to try it.

Crankshaft – has apparently decided to take over for Mallard Fillmore. Whether this will be an improvement is anybody’s guess.

DT – Introducing new guest characters at the end of a story arc; isn’t the writing in Dick Tracy fantastic?

FC – Protip to Jeff Keane: Soccer balls, basketballs, and beach balls are not all exactly the same size.

GA – Guest-starring Marvin.

GT – To all those naysayers who believe that the days of glorious insanity in Gil Thorp are past, I give you today’s strip, with impossible angles, loud Hawaiian shirts under sport coats, and parenthetical asides in (the middle of) spoken sentences. Repent and believe, doubters!

Love Is… – finding out about that one night at the bar in Bhagdad.

Luann – That underhanded slut, using sales tactics to sell things!

MF – Who? What? Huh?

Marmaduke – If this did not remind you of Don Cindy from Casey & Andy, boy do you have some reading to do.

MW – Frank, you fool. Asking Mary to talk to someone in the hospital is like asking Dracula to help you bandage a cut.

SM – Big-Time, you fool, that’s not a clock! That’s a giant watch battery!
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Grargh, preview is your friend.
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

(The only reason Tibet still stands is because Margo is waiting for Eric to get out of it and bediamond her naked, ringless fingers.)
temporarilyjaded
December 6th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

@aloha_breeze-it isn’t just today that is in reruns…
I think Darby needs to let the mudges know when it is vacation time so they don’t have to waste their oh so valuable time re-snarking.
bats :[
December 6th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

162. LBFF: the first time I heard about an “open kimono” was when my mother told me the old dirty joke she knew (I’m sure she knew more, but she didn’t tell me a lot of things, particularly when it involved s*x) — hence, it’s always been associated with sex to me:

“The Open Kimono,” by Seymour Hair

(And it wasn’t a particularly funny joke, either…)
bats :[
December 6th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

And because my mind is wedged firmly in the gutter, the first thing that popped into it when Thel mentioned the house needing a ballroom is Bil responding with something like, “We have four children — doesn’t the bedroom count?”.
aloha_breeze
December 6th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

170 temporarilyjaded: If Conley is on vacation, instead of these reruns, he should do something like what he did in the couple of weeks after he hurt his arm. I have to admit, though, I prefer these earlier strips where Rob et al. actually leave the apartment once in a while.
Charles J
December 6th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

#147 bats :[ — I love the Rex Morgan a la Warhol! Too clever. But yes, the Mary Worth would be perhaps too much for any one person to take on!
odinthor
December 6th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Yesterthread’s Emotional Fainting — Ooh, an in to tell my total downer year-old Funky Winkerbean-type story! ‘Twas just over a year ago that my doctor phones me and says, “Well, the tests came back, and you have leukemia. Bye!” (I think the cheery “Bye!” part pertained to the phone call rather than to my having leukemia.) OK, I didn’t quite faint; but I was fading fast and had to lie down flat on the floor to keep from doing so. So, yes, I can readily believe that people faint from emotional causes. (And don’t fret about me: It’s “chronic leukemia” rather than acute, so I get to plug along merrily for 15 . . . 20 . . . 25 . . . “or more” . . . years as long as I follow a strict regime of doing whatever I want and having plenty of hot sex with attractive people.)

Baldo — Strictly speaking, Baldo, the lazy, incompetent, irresponsible Joey is indeed better qualified to be mid-level management.

Ziggy — Made me laugh. Help me.
dreadedcandiru2
December 6th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Sunday Canadian Zombie: Tomorrow’s strip supposedly shows John being stooooooooopid and useless because, despite Elly’s belief in tough love, he can’t ignore the cries of his infant daughter. Someone is stoooooopid and useless, all right; she eats phone books and fears motorcycles.
Esther Blodgett
December 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Re: Get Fuzzy. In my hometown paper, it says above the strip: “The artist is on vacation. This week’s strips are reprints. Suckers.” Or something of the kind.

Circus: A ballroom? You’ve got four kids. Which room haven’t you balled in? (I’ve decided I’m ashamed of myself for writing that, but I’m going to leave it in anyway.)

RMMD: “Calling us lazy and arrogant…What a wacko!” “Why, I’d have him flogged within an inch of his life, if I could be bothered.”
Zaq
December 6th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Saturday!

9CL: I finally figured it out! Brooke’s making the rest of the strip as repulsive as possible so we’re actually glad to see week upon week of Thorax.

MW: Frank asking Mary to ~~meddle~~ talk to Lynn is the equivalent of the teenagers in the slasher horror flick deciding “hey, no one’s around, let’s screw.”

DT and S-M engage in a thrilling SATURDAY EXPOSITION-OFF! WHO WILL BE VICTORIOUS?

GT: Please let Sacko6′9″ have a heart attack live on camera.

A3G: I… wow. That’s a special kind of dumb.

Big Dog: The only way Suburban Hitler’s dialogue could be any more stilted is if it were emphasized Jackelrod-style. “BUT I did not order fifty cases OF cookies.”
Sorako-chan
December 6th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

For laughs, I thought I’d try putting the title of this post through a translator cocktail (English-Romanian-Korean-German-Croatian-Spanish-English is one of my favorites). About half way through, I got:

Oh, I did! The dead man to steal food from the “means of exit.”

You heard it here first people, a Plugger is the “means of exit.”
John DeGroot
December 6th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

We get it, people in Luann-land, Tiffany is a great big whore who seeks to get through life attempting to seduce men into helping her to get ahead. I also predict that she will have a fetish for cheerleading costumes long after it ceases to be a healthy kink…
Dingo
December 6th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Am I allowed to feel sorry for Tiffany? I mean, Brad was a complete doofus a few years back but now he’s a hot firefighter with a kickass bod and I’d pay good money to see Poteet work him over with a strap-on. Tiff might grow out of her “love me!” phase and become a wonderful devoted suburban soccer mom. Or vice president. Or both.

Luann will be that woman at the end of the bar hoping that her hot friend’s blind date brings a pathetic friend with him for possible pathetic sex.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
December 6th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Mice also get their houses upturned by plows, according to Robert Burns. Pluggers are mice, all right!
Lorem Ipsum aka temporarily jaded
December 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

173. aloha_breeze-I am thinking that ebola must be spreading and Darby came down with a nasty case. Either that or he has been snogging Ces and Josh.
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

#181 Dingo – It’s always okay to feel sorry for the cardboard villains who have their whole existence defined by their position as antagonist to whatever hero(ine) the lazy-ass author has barfed up. Tiffany in particular suffers the double ignominy of being both the cardboard villain and the cardboard assclown.
queek
December 6th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

112: We used to get Correctional Foodservice News where I used to work. (worked, not lived, thankyouverymuch.) Riviting stuff.

Speedbump and Argyle Suckitude both did prescription drug jokes today. Speedbumps was funny. AS, not so much.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

re: “open the kimono”
Sorry to be late to the party, but if it appears in Dilbert, I guess it’s legitimized.
dyslexic dog
December 6th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

oops. #186 turns out to be me, post cookie disembowelment.
dyslexic dog
December 6th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

ahh, much better…
Edgy DC
December 6th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Meth is to Josh as golf is to Mort Walker.

Meth. We get it.
kalki
December 6th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

9CL: Ugh, what won’t this girl put into her mouth??? (Can Edda deep throat the rose?)

Archie: 3rd panel…ever notice how Archie can’t manage to stand straight up around Jughead? Like his pants would explode if he tried?

Blondie: So if Dagwood dies or goes on a diet, then the entire food industry collapses? Just one of these days, I’d like Blondie to say to her friend there: “Forget that idiot, let’s strip down and compare our bodies.”

Crank: Key that damned Hummer!

DTM: “And they oughta sew his mom’s vagina shut. Huh? What do you mean? She’s standing right behind me? Doh!”

CircusJerk: At which point, Bill deposited his family jewels into Thelma’s waiting hand and said: “Ball room? Take me to it!”

FW: “Stop touching me! Help! My dad is a perv! Call CPS!”

GA: Yep. Pee, as predicted. Dang…maybe old Slim ought to see what his elf there wants for Christmas? Maybe some of Santa’s Yule Log, flaccid of course.

Monty: Not bad. I like eco-humor.

Luann: Don’t worry, girls. Tiffany is destined to wind up in the porn industry for the 10 years her looks last after she turns 18 and then it is off to spend her last years servicing guys at various Nevada brothels. Of course, if Luann keeps lusting for her brother Brad, she might end up as Tiffany’s fluffer. How humiliating would that be, huh?
Amateur
December 6th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

#175 — Wow, I didn’t know leukemia could be chronic. But I’m glad you didn’t get the really really bad kind. (No wonder you fainted!)
Muffaroo
December 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

9CLane – His cello kind of shrinks after he’s done performing.

A3G – The owner leaves his apartment? Notify the tabloids at once!

Blondie – Jeez, CNN is closing down its science desk, but whatever network Dagwood watches has a gumbo desk. Counting 9CLane, this could be the second sly cameo from “Rose is Rose” today.

Curtis – This is actually one of Viz magazine’s “Top Tips”: “Save on expensive nicotine gum by chewing a stick of regular gum whilst smoking a cigarette.”

DTracy – “Battery.” wackawackawacka!

FWbean – “Dad, please…” “…I know damn well you haven’t really got my nose there!”

JParker – Uh oh! Somebody else wants the damn dog too!

MFmore – I was going to give this credit for not being political, but on closer examination, Roger’s eyes are crossed, which is a 100% certain sign (in this strip) that Roger is a liberal. Damn you, Roger! You’re responsible for the mess we’re all in!

Marmupuke – Oh, that dog. He must have picked up the phone and barked an order for 50 cases of cookies again. Time to get him fixed, by which I mean put down.

MWorth – “If you’ll just talk to her, Mary, I’m sure she’ll agree that I’m not so bad. Especially if you give her your fifteen-minute ‘Turkish prison special.’”

Mutts – What, the junipers? No, they’re faux firs.

Phantom – Uh oh! No more ebola medicine! Phantom needs to go to plan B — fingerpainting a “NO EBOLAZ HEAR” hex sign on his chest.

R=Rose – I’ve heard of stupidly misinterpreting plain and unambiguous English, but this is ridiculous!

Tiger – It’s not hilarious, but there’s a certain childlike logic in this strip that I like.
Muffaroo
December 6th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Mibbitmaker @125 – re: DTracy — Yes, but it would have been in bad taste had the head been held a little higher so that you could see the exposed wires and the dripping hydraulic fluid. I’d say more, but my diet pills are wearing off.

Angry Kem @141 – Hooray for law-abiding bike riders! Squashing Crock with a clock would be a sort of performance art for people who pronounce their arrs and ells the same way.

Dingo @181 – Or, as I put it once, “Nice guy with bad luck seeks woman with poor self-image for mutual pity-fuck.”
papa zita
December 6th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

#141 Kem, don’t be a jackass. No cyclists except small children ride on the sidewalk in our city, and apparently you didn’t read what I wrote. I live in an old neighborhood with bike lanes (many of our neighborhoods have them), and I take two walks in my neighborhood a day. All I can say is even scooter and moped riders follow the law far better.

Not a single bike rider in the many months I have walked the neighborhood has stopped at a sign. Most have not even slowed, whether traffic was there or not. Except me, on a rare ride (my bike is nearly shot so I use it only rarely). Some day I hope to see another bike rider stop. I’m not holding my breath. The more casual/careful riders will stop at the stop lights, the more aggressive do not. I had a friend who drove a trolley bus in SF and the obnoxiousness of the Critical Mass rallies were notorious. They would block public transit (even rail) along with individuals in cars and made themselves a menace in the city. The PR value was immense – against them.

My neighborhood is also an area which is near a number of large state and university buildings. The employees (who drive cars because other than the resident doctors who rent, wouldn’t be caught dead living in the city) are wonderfully oblivious to the fact that one must stop fully at a stop sign. The cops could make a fortune here if they took the time to set up a patrol in the area.

So what am I saying? Flip the record over, son, I heard this song before. I rode bikes for years (long before such niceties as bike lanes, helmets and lights) and don’t seem to have been nearly run down as many times as you in all the years I rode, even when I was young and irresponsible. Maybe my city/state is just nicer than yours.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
December 6th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

At the risk of grossing you all out, let me point out that in today’s Hagar, Helga is telling Hagar while they are both in bed, “I wish you’d hurry up and finish!”
Joe Blevins
December 6th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

In an attempt to come up with the next Garfield Minus Garfield internet sensation, I at first devised Ziggy Minus Ziggy, but this proved a total failure as Ziggy is exactly the same with or without its title character.

I think I got a little closer with Mary Worth Minus Mary Worth But Plus Mark Trail.

As you can see, it’s a complete improvement.
Islamorada Girl
December 6th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

185: Correctional Food Service sounds like the best trade mag EVER! When I was covering court, and the jury went out, the judge would have mercy on us poor courthouse barnacles and order us the same stuff the jury and the defendant got, sent up from the jail’s kitchens. I must say, the fried chicken was really good.

Which reminds me, I just dropped in to observe that RetroFoob seems to be set in some Stalinist gulag of despair, depression and existential ex-husband hating.It’s almost as if it’s set on some Siberian ice floe of a frozen thought re-education camp
where your neighbor in the next cell is Betty Friedan.
Red Greenback
December 6th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

SQ.B@195: Did you notice that Hagar is eating a turkey leg, yet the turkey still has both legs attached?

JB@196: I really like both Z-Z, and MW-MW+MT, I think you’re onto something there. Weird thing is, I was messing around earlier with this one, I suppose it could be titled: MW+Z-Z+JJJ.
Mooncattie
December 6th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

MT – Hello? Hello Ma, it’s me! I got some great news! I got work, and guess what? It’s in Mark Trail! It’s just a supporting role, but they say it’s for at least 2 weeks, and we’ll see how it goes from there! I play a big, beefy guy named Salty, and I’m working down in the Everglades or somewhere, and I’ve got my own shrimp boat and a gun and everything! And get this – I start off with a real Snidely Whiplash moustache, but it grows over the course of just one strip into a real evil-looking beard! I think it’s gonna be my big break, Ma! I’ve been studying the part real hard, and I even came up with a back story of my own! The way I see it, I show up there with the boat and stuff and say, “Hi guys! My name’s Salty, if you know what I mean! And you, mister, you must be Mister Rabbit! Is there anything I can get you to do for me? I mean, anything at all, so that I’ll really owe you in boldface?” Anyhow…Ma? Ma, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
Amateur
December 6th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

#196 — I think you’ve got something there.
Alfred E. Neuman
December 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

#165 gleeb— It is understandable that you missed my Kreutzer Sonata post. Like most of my posts, it was made in the middle of the night (3:34 am CC time) when there was no one around to read it. I was probably the only one on site at that time because the next post was at 4:20.
I snark the comics all night so that you don’t have to!
Mibbitmaker
December 6th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

#198 (Red Greenback): That MW+Z-Z+JJJ strip looked like it could’ve been a pair of Will Elder panels for Mad. Nicely done.
Dingo
December 6th, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Martinizing Mary

Frank and Mary stood outside of Lynn’s hospital room. He agonized that this slip on the ice may have been the last waltz for his daughter. Competition in ice skating was fierce, and the mean streets that lay ahead filled him with silence. Lynn was now beyond the age of innocence and soon enough some goodfellas may lure her with the color of money into an after hours skating deal where no one would mutter, “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Would you talk to her, Mary?” he asked. “I’m afraid if I try again I’ll just sound like a raging bull.”

Mary entered the room, first cautiously and then with the bravado of a Boxcar Bertha dripping with diamonds in a casino. She knew that she had to get the information out of Lynn but that it would be akin to bringing out the dead. Lake Tranquil wasn’t a town for the big shave; it wasn’t New York, New York with its street scenes and gangs of New York. This town was as placid as oral sodomy with a Belgian cellist.

Mary moved to the side of the bed where the young girl with her pert breasts and pouty lips was resting. The top of her nightgown was unbuttoned and a small portion of pink bosom invited Mary’s hand for a massage. This is what got her fired from being an orderly out in Santa Royale but Lynn was slightly sedated and it was the last temptation of — Christ! — she’s waking up.

“Well, my bonnie Lynn.” Mary said with the saccharine tone of a nun about to waylay someone about the head with a metal ruler. “We worried that you were one of the departed. Now why don’t you tell me what’s the matter? I know that your father wants to know but I call first.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Lynn cried.

“Oh, am I too old?” Mary pondered. “I may have been around for the rise of Theodore Roosevelt but I’m still hip to the withit. I’m Fred Basset basic and Tom Cruise crazy rolled into an Elrod ball and baked until golden brown.”

Lynn bit her lip. “Did you see that girl on the ice with me, Mary?”

“The one dressed like a Mormon pioneer?” Mary asked. Lynn nodded.

“Mary, I’m so foolish. I’m so utterly, utterly foolish. It was that outfit. It frightened me! The frills, the lace, the cape!” Lynn put her hands to her cheeks and screamed like white trash at a tent revival.

“This is what caused you to faint, Lynn? A cape fear?”

Lynn burrowed her head into Mary’s musty cleavage and cried. Mary, in turn, felt a wry tingle in her labia.

“No one must know, Mary! No one! If the judges found out my father would be the king of comedy.

Mary held tight to the waif. “Oh, Lynn. You silly girl. Life shouldn’t ground you like a taxi driver in a cab. You’re the aviator soaring above us all. Let’s see if we can come up with a trick to burnish this fear.”

The minutes passed like hours which passed like days in Apt. 3G. Suddenly, a light went on! Mary jumped to her feet and headed for the door.

“Mary? Mary, where are you going to?”

Mary turned and smiled. “Just you wait, Lynn. Just you wait.”

to be continued
Joe Blevins
December 6th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

UPDATE! Removing Ziggy from Ziggy proves shockingly easy and offers a gateway to a strange, haunted world where there is anger, misery, and frustration and no one there to passively absorb it all.
Lorem Ipsum aka temporarily jaded
December 6th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

204-JoeBlevins-much improved, sucksasitis!
AMSTERDANG
December 6th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

FW: At first I assumed that FW was making a stab at cultural relevance by way of the “terrorist fist bump.” But upon careful consideration, it seems clear that Les is advising his daughter to “relax” by masturbating. Hey, Les, the whack-it hand signal is generally reserved for boys. Also: Eww!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
December 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

204 — I love it. My favorite is the one with the sad cat looking at the TV.
Gojira
December 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Phantom: This so-called “New Adventure” began 9/1 and here’s what we’ve gotten so far:

* Way back then, Chatu (The Python) was, contrary to his usual M.O., working solo.
* Chatu captures some bats.
* Phantom kicks Chatu’s butt, then ridicules his bat blood collecting hobby.
* Chatu reveals it’s actually an Ebola-collecting hobby.
* Dr. Phantom diagnoses Chatu’s Ebola infection, admitting that’s why Chatu was so easy to beat.
* Phantom then presumes he caught Ebola from punching The Python and decides to summon his pygmy physician.
* The past two months-plus have consisted of Guran showing up, producing an Ebola cure, and Phantom giving the cure to Chatu rather than himself. Ghost-Who-Hopes-He’s-Got-a-Good-Immune-System also takes time to harass that poor old guy and the kid.

So, what was Chatu planning to do with his Ebola collection in the first place? Why collect this stuff without using protection? How soon before Phantom progresses to diarrhea, vomiting, and internal/external bleeding?

And when’s the promised “Adventure” going to start?
Lorem Ipsum aka temporarily jaded
December 6th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

204-something very disturbing about the Psycho talking to himself in the first panel, though
bats :[
December 6th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

204. Joe Blevins: these are great. Ziggy is the Swifter to mop up the ills of the world. Without the long handle up his ass.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

12/6

Garfield: “And while you’re giving me my pants back, could you take this dildo out of my ass. It’s kind of irritating.”

DT: Dick is a cop. Why is he telling young Bob Hope of the Genesis Corporation who to arrest?

GT: I hope Matt and Jeff will be comfortable with the widespread (Milford-wise) Internet speculation on when they’ll kiss.

Archie: “I do have some questions though, Jug. Why did you choose Veronica’s dad as your subject? And why paint him with female genitalia?”

6C: Sorry, blondie. Recessions effect boyfriends too.

FC: The horrifying suspicion creeps over Bill. Has his wife somehow switched bodies with Jeffy?

9CL: While the whole “I write the songs” aspect of this week has annoyed me, I like the nice little gesture we see today.

Luann: Hey, there’s two of you and only one of her. Start making out and you’ll more than even the odds.

S-M: So Big Time’s plan depends on a crowd of people seeing Spider-Man swing away from the dead reporter? And yet no one noticed him knocking out and tying up a 5′10 middle aged man? I’d look again to see if I missed anything, but I’m afraid of losing crucial IQ points.

Phantom: “Oh come off it, old man! Do you think I don’t know Wild Berry Tang when I see it?”
Islamorada Girl
December 6th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

I do believe that the Phantom thinks being covered from head to toe in latex protects him from ebola. What he doesn’t seem to understand is that ebola is not an STD. The Phantom was absent several times in Jungle Patrol Sex Education Class, and now he’s going to pay for it.
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2008 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

Here’s a Slate video of a prison food convention.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

# 181 Dingo — Now that’s an image of myself I don’t see every day:-). But Brad? Dingo, I gotta be honest and say I don’t think I could give you your money’s worth. For one thing, I’d be too distracted by the weird shape of his head.
Uncle Lumpy
December 7th, 2008 at 12:00 am [Reply]

#211 AFKaB –

Yeah, every once and a while the Phantom needs to get away from Diana and the kids and enjoy some Wild Berry ‘Tang.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 7th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

#215 Uncle Lumpy.
But not Wild Thornberry ‘Tang. That would be wrong.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

Surely I’m not the only one who noticed on Friday that Dagwood and his son were watching a show about a band called the Poo Smashers. (What’s his kid’s name again?)

http://www.blondie.com/dailies/index.asp?month=12&year=2008&comic=2008-12-5
Comcis Fan
December 7th, 2008 at 12:37 am [Reply]

That was I who mentioned Dagwood and the Poo Smashers.
Uncle Lumpy
December 7th, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

#217 Anonymous –

Alexander.
Charlene
December 7th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

#136: and when they don’t like the traffic, the precious little darlings whine about how “everyone is against us!!! Those mean drivers are trying to kill us!!!” while they fucking drive on the sidewalk, threatening the lives of pedestrians.

Bicyclists: if the road is too dangerous for you, leave your damn bike at home and take the bus. You do not belong on the sidewalk, ever. No exception, no discussion. Never.
migellito
December 7th, 2008 at 1:04 am [Reply]

204 – yeah, that’s about how I look when I watch tv, I think.
bats :[
December 7th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

Very Early Sunday Observation:

Not too much to snark (I’m tired, though), only it’s official: the Morgans are on the Voyage of the Damned.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 1:34 am [Reply]

# 184 commodorejohn — I seem to remember that it’s you I have to thank for being able to follow PRINCE VALIANT. Thank you again. It’s fun to be reminded, after many years, that for Val, just about every day is far worse than any of my bad days. And that Gawain is entertainingly not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

12/7

DtM — It’s mid-December, snow covers the ground, and Dennis claims he’s got two frogs and a grasshopper in his pants? Kid, you are SO lying. Probably it’s crabs.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 1:58 am [Reply]

# 222 bats — Yeah. Now I’m kind of hoping for a norovirus epidemic and prolonged mass vomiting. And Rex being expected to treat everyone. HAW!
alamo
December 7th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

198. Red Greenback says:

December 6th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
SQ.B@195: Did you notice that Hagar is eating a turkey leg, yet the turkey still has both legs attached?

i believe it was probably a male turkey and that was no leg!!!
Red Greenback
December 7th, 2008 at 2:15 am [Reply]

The artwork in Rex Morgan, M.D. is en fuego today! I just love the seasick dude standing next to the Rex Morgan, M.D. logo, and Sarah in panel 3 looks like she can bench about 220. And meanwhile, out on the deck…Rex appears to be reading the bottom half of the “NEWS” front page…upside down!

Oh, and alamo@226: I just saw your post whilst previewing. If that’s the case, Helga shouldn’t have cooked that bird! The Horribles could have cornered the turkey porn market.
Angry Kem
December 7th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

#194 papa zita: I’m not being a jackass. I’m pointing out that a common driver response to cyclist complaints of dangerous roads is, “All cyclists disobey the law, so why should we care?” I’m sorry every single bicyclist in your entire city is apparently a dickweed, but since I have never come across a situation in which every single person in a certain category behaves in exactly the same way, I assumed–unfairly, it seems, but based on my past experience–that you were exaggerating. As I said myself, I get angry when cyclists disobey the law. Your implication that I am an irresponsible cyclist is incorrect; I obey the rules of the road and tend to bike rather more slowly and cautiously than usual when I am passing parked cars (I’ve been doored before; I didn’t enjoy it). Toronto is quite a dangerous biking city. It has few bike lanes, and drivers have been conditioned to regard all bikers (law-abiding and otherwise) as nuisances.

#220 Charlene: Though I always walk my bike on sidewalks, I do see people riding on them. I don’t think they have a right to do so (there’s a law against adults riding on the sidewalks; whether or not one agrees with it, it’s there), but I do understand the logic of their argument that the road is too dangerous. NOTE: I DON’T AGREE WITH WHAT THEY’RE DOING. I simply think they have a point (about the roads, not the sidewalks). They shouldn’t ride on the sidewalks, but the city should work to make roads safer for cyclists…not because cyclists will hijack the sidewalks in droves if they don’t (there are always some idiots who feel it’s more convenient to break the law) but because it’s the right thing to do.

As well, you could perhaps alter your argument a bit; you would, in my view, make it more effective by doing so. Cyclists who ride on the sidewalk rarely “threaten the lives of pedestrians.” They do pose a danger–a biker/pedestrian collision could result in bruises, gashes, or broken bones–but unless the pedestrian in question is extremely physically fragile, his or her life will not be in danger. Again, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT CYCLISTS SHOULD RIDE ON THE SIDEWALK, but I also don’t believe that using hyperbole against them does anyone a favour. An argument that sidewalk-riding cyclists threaten to injure pedestrians is perfectly valid.

I’m sorry if you guys have had bad experiences with rogue cyclists. I can only repeat that a lot of us do obey the law (maybe not wherever you are, but certainly where I am.

I don’t want to fight, and I’m not trying to be a jackass or a self-righteous prick. Shall we just agree that there are many different sides to this issue?
Alfred E. Neuman
December 7th, 2008 at 2:37 am [Reply]

#211, 216 AFKaB, #215 Uncle Lumpy— More wrong yet would be Marty Moon ‘Tang.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

# 224 — Or pinworms.

Come to think of it, pinworms could be dramatic gold for ReFoob. And pinworms are common in Caucasian children in Canada. How about it, Lynn?
commodorejohn
December 7th, 2008 at 2:57 am [Reply]

#223 Poteet – My pleasure. I’ve been wanting to follow that strip for years now, but I don’t get the paper, so I was plenty motivated myself :)
Alfred E. Neuman
December 7th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

#194 papa zita, #228 Angry Kem— Now folks, let’s not get all torqued out of shape about bike riding. I think I can help you resolve your differences. If you both come to my neighboring city of Wichita Falls, Texas on Aug. 29, 2009, you will have the opportunity to race 100 miles in 105 degree heat along with 12,000 other riders. The race is called the Hotter’N Hell 100. If you get through that (the fatality rate is less than 1%!), all other biking issues will fade into insignificance. You’ll become best buddies and will never again argue about biking.

This meddle was approved by Mary Worth.
dyslexic dog
December 7th, 2008 at 6:23 am [Reply]

Dead of night ramblings on the Sundays…

9CL: I’m afraid the only amusement for me is the Beavis and Butthead quality of Juliette’s comment in an out-of-context Panel 5 (or Panel 3 if the throwaways are thrown away).

Blondie and Curtis: Telegraphy in fine fettle.

DT: Dick solves a case and gets a little Rockette practice in at the same time.

Dilbert: It might be noted that Pointy-Haired Boss’s necktie fleetingly achieves the same wing lift as Dilbert’s constant.

FC: So many functions, so little time.

F-Minus: The joke seems rather close to the vest. (GONG!)

H&L: Yipes! Way too close to home!

JP: Well, at least Sam has grown a pair, although for the family audience has had his expletives bleeped.

Luann: It’s the extra fireplace stocking with TJ’s name on it, just off camera. Frank resists the urge to stuff it down Nancy’s throat.

PBS: Recalls the great Wayne & Schuster exchange in “Rinse the Blood Off My Toga”:

Antony: I just made a speech over the body of Caesar. I said, “Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears!”

Flavius: Yeah? What have you got in that sack?

Antony: Ears!

Phantom: Kit enters the world of the Blue Lagoon.

Popeye: The same admonition was given to Slammin’ Sammy Sosa.

RMMD: Despite all the new threads introduced today, I’m most interested in the newspaper story about “Unemployed Nits,” and the dialog bubble at the end of the headline.
Saluki
December 7th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

HtH:
Grabbed hold of your coat tail but it come off in my hand,
I reached for your lapel but it weren’t sewn on so grand.
Begged, promised anything if only you would stay,
Well, I lost a lot of love over you. Yeah! that’s right
Fell down to my knees and I hung onto your pants,
But you just kept on runnin’ while they ripped off in my hands.
Di’mond rings, vaseline, you gave me disease,
Well, I lost a lot of love over you. Oww oh play it yeah alright whooooooo
Boozin’in the bar rooms, cruisin’ in the dark;
Tie your hands, tie your feet, throw you to the shark.
Make you sweat, make you scream, make you wish you’d never been,
I lost a lot of love over you. whooooooooooooooooo arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Saluki
December 7th, 2008 at 7:16 am [Reply]

H&L: “You’ve taken over every other room in the damn house. Get the hell out of my garage woman!”
Saluki
December 7th, 2008 at 7:20 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Well this should keep us occupied until MLB’s spring training starts.
Saluki
December 7th, 2008 at 7:23 am [Reply]

RM: Ha ha. The government has taken over a bankrupt cruise line.
Alan Harper
December 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

Looks like ol’ Rex is taking fashion tips from Charlie Sheen.
True Fable
December 7th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

JP“Sam? It’s Heidi. I’m downstairs….and I’m not wearing any underwear!” Yeah, it’s the dialogue they leave out that really makes the difference.
Scenes from Suburban Hell At last, a reason why Hi keeps trying to keep their marriage going. He doesn’t know what else to do with it, and that may be the problem.
FC Kitchen table…work bench…morgue slab…performer’s platform… forensic area…artist’s drawing table…dissection lab…conference site…rack…vacation planning center.
MW Mary’s pink and white/ she’s pissed for the night/ Mary’s yellow and blue/ the meddling is true. Yep, it’s time for Lynn to ‘fess up; Mary’s color scheme rhyme never lies.
RMMW June baby, how I’ve missed that perky rack, glad to see its return! Meanwhile, Rex is taught a lesson about taking the cheapest cruise deal available.
Canadian Zombie Undermining: the lesser known Canadian industry.
Buck Ripsnort
December 7th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Saturday’s FW: Late to the party, but really, is there any other way to read that last panel than abuse/ threat of abuse? The joke, of course, is that Les’ daughter could break him in half without working up a sweat.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 7th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Attention all bicycle riders and those who have ever driven near one: This is not The Cycling Curmudgeon. Please take any further discussion of road etiquette to The Cockpit before Josh sends it there. Thanks.
anonymously
December 7th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

RMMD: I still say the hired help on this boat is not the real hired help. Since they’re so rude. Maybe they’re rude pirates who took over the ship, disposed of the original employees, and are now headed to Malacca to sit in a disco, watch strippers, and drink alcohol (as per a Slate.com article).

Doonesbury: And so we prepare to wave goodbye to the Bushes as they pack up a moving van and depart for a life of splendor, kicking back in the most expensive and exclusive house in Dallas. Good one, Trudeau! It’s like tossing a paper cup at a passing tractor trailer, but it’s the thought and gesture that counts.
gleeb
December 7th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

9CL: Thorax. I ain’t readin’ that.

Baldo: Yep, Tia Carmen really finds happiness with her bananas. Fer cripes’ sake, someone introduce her to a nice kumquat-munching single guy, huh?

Dick: Killing a robot won’t satisfy Tracy’s bloodlust. If we’re lucky, it’ll just be a rare steak he takes apart tonight.

Beetle: Take a page from the Major’s book: it’s not a party without a pale blue baseball cap.

‘bean: It’s the circle of stupid hats.

Phantom: Guran just wants some time to get back at him for the “fat midget” remark.

Rex: I can see why they got a good price on cruise tickets. The ship is crewed entirely by the rude, the arrogant, and the depressed.

Slylock: Slylock isn’t really into this. He can tell the snake isn’t anthropomorphized, and that this will never stand up in court.

Brenda: Sorry, Miella, you’re too “foreign”, y’know? Besides, you throw Sage’s idiocy into too much relief.
Niall
December 7th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Sunday My Cage is nothing but WIN. I laughed quite out loud.

Ed Power, after complaining about the static layout of the last few strips, I guess you already knew that and went for a complete change of pace. My faith in you is restored. I should not have doubted you! :)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 7th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

And now, to kill the thread with some Sunday snark:

A3G: We regret to inform the audience that Detective Collins has taken ill. His part this evening will be played by Alan in hair dye and a mustard jacket.

BB: No, you dumb bimbo, it’s the one day a year you wear anything other than black to work. Halftrack wants to make sure he cleans his contacts the night before, since lighter colors make it easier to spot erect nipples. It’s not much titillation, but it’s all he gets.

BH: Ha ha ha! It’s funny because it mentions technology! And bonus points for being as specific as your average Two Black Friends of the Same Gender Who Run an Eating Establishment Together strip!

Blondie: “…So, how about that babe to your right? The blonde in the light red dress?”
“Oh, yeah! Some cranium, huh?”
“I know! Her head’s the size of a watermelon!”
“…Still, I’d hit it.”
“Oh, definitely.”

DtM, HtH: Two strips about frogs and grasshoppers on the same day? This is no coincidence, this is a conspiracy.

(WT)DT: Ha ha! I get it, “battery charges”!!!

FC: He forgot “pole-dancing platform,” “body-piercing station” and “caning bench.”

FW: And Tom Batiuk crosses hat shopping off a long list titled “Things that are funny,” a list that also includes the entries adoption, amputation, awkward teen sex, birth out of wedlock, cancer, creepy voyeuristic dad, deafness, dementia, drunk driving, explosives (improvised) and fat. Maybe next weekend’s strip on Hepatitis C will show potential.

H&L: The “Tops and Bottoms” drawer should have a picture of Hi and Thirsty.

JP: And now, a brief break from the snark for some well-deserved praise: As much as we like to comment on the lovingly rendered sweaterpuppies in this strip, Barretto deserves mention for a talent that’s rare on the comics page: the ability to render characters’ faces consistently and recognizably from panel to panel. Dixie/Kathleen looks like herself from every angle in this strip. Well done.

Hateeachothers: Lower-left panel: Apparently, children in the Lockhorniverse are born at normal proportions, and as they mature, their skulls form jagged edges and swell to the size of beach balls.

Marvin: And the Throwaway Panels Most Deserving of Being Thrown Away Award goes to… oh, wow, it’s Tom Armstrong! Again!

RMMD: Geez, thanks for sailing the Surly Seas!

SFx: Wow, this may seem like another one of Slylock’s cutesy little misdemeanors, but when you think about it, this may be the first case in the comics of infanticide.

SS: Whereas you do? That’s news to me.

S-M: Next: Hickory Dockory DICK!
John C Fremont
December 7th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

DT – I don’t think being an underqualified repairman is exactly a crime. This seems more like a chapter from the IneptitudeStoppers Textbook.

I’ma gonna miss Brute Force or Magnum Force or whatever the hell his actual name is. He’s the only one with any sort of human-like personality. Plus, he gets the best lines. And he’s cute, cute, cute.

MW – Hoo, boy! This is gonna be good. And by “good,” I mean suck worse than anything has ever sucked before, but in a good way. In a “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” sort of way. And since I won’t have anything particularly witty to say, I call the role of Cambot!

RMMD – Today’s Rex Morgan answers the question, “”What would ‘The Shining’ have been like if it had been set on a boat and featured cameos by a weepy Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials, Duke Phillips from TV’s ‘The Critic,’ and, eventually, Kathie Lee Gifford and Lee Majors?”

(This actually has a kind of Daniel Clowes feel to it today. I don’t hate it.)

JP – “And be cool, counselor. Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it. Stay loose, boy!” (I know, I messed with the lyrics. I don’t think Sondheim would really care as long as we get to watch Dixie Julep and her hypnotic navel.)

JP II – “And be cool, counselor, or I’ll get nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot. But you don’t want that, and I don’t want that, and Mister Nine Millimeter here, he don’t want that.”

Yep. They’re a couple of Fonzies – cool.
odinthor
December 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

HtH — They left out the panel about “I gave you crabs and you gave me syphilis,” the most traditional preliminary to any engagement.

BeBa — Dang, don’t you just hate it when your tee-time is approaching and you can’t think of the word you want for your cartoon?: “Audit.”

C’shaft — What do you mean? Your parents made the mistake of not abandoning you in Nebraska.

Crock — Ha ha! Because he knows what everyone supposes true about wine, it means he must of necessity be the local illegal wine dealer!

H&L — Hi, bud, don’t give in to victimhood. Trot the little lady over to her sewing kit and button box, and undertake the same examination. You’ll both feel better. Which means that you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight, and she won’t speak to you for a week.

JP — I like the title-panel as a stand-alone, though I’d like it better if it were the Lockhorns conversing, and it was Leroy saying, “I won’t take you out to dinner tonight, Loretta.”

And speaking of The Lockhorns — I see that Howard Huge is audience testing his new pic in the Lockhorns’ community! You go, Howard!

MW — “It was the photo in the first wallet I bought. I fell in love with the photo, and I spent years trying to find the picture’s model. And [sob] when I found him, it turned out the photo was taken in 1930, and it was Ed Crankshaft!” “Age has many beauties, Lynn!” “It sure as fuck doesn’t, Mary!” And the room fell silent.
indrifan
December 7th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

MC It’s great to see a spork being put to its proper use.

RMMD I was impressed by the timeliness of Rex’s newspaper headline: “Unemployment Hits Record High” – and it fits in with the Cruise from Hell theme too.

Trade journals. My personal fave is “Asphalt”. I got a copy in 1990 which I still treasure (I was working in a mailroom and saved it from the “return to sender” pile). The photos looked just like pictures of my grandfather’s workplace in the 1950’s. Hot topic: the advantages of asphalt over its bitter rival, Portland cement.
queek
December 7th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

MC: sporked! (made of win!)

Lio: made of awesome and win, in spades.

F-: I miss Squid Countess.

GF: Darby’s been watching FullMetal again, I see. No Lust, more’s the pity.

Zits: visually stunning.
Dingo
December 7th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

I’ve actually enjoyed all of the comments about B2B writing. It’s another of those realms that the general public doesn’t think to consider. In the past few months, I’ve emailed former students of mine and asked them to consider the world of corporate video. I’m making more than I did as a professor, have less strenuous days, and am really appreciated for what I can bring to the table. There’s still time for me to make La Moglie Calda Bagnata or La Signora nell’Acquazzone in the future.
bats :[
December 7th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

223 Poteet: I love Gawain because he is such an arrogant, dumb dork, and more often than not is called on it. The only consistent blonde in PV is Aleta, and she’s far, far, far from dumb — I guess Gawain has to pick up the slack.

233. dyslexic dog: gads, we performed “Rinse the Blood Off My Toga” in my high school Latin class in the early 1970s…I had no idea is was a real…um, thing. Thanks for the source!
Baka Gaijin
December 7th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s Comics:

Dilbert: Huh. The Pointy Haired Boss has an ass-dick. Just how close to autoerotic asphyxiation is this guy?

Mother Goose and Grimm: I laughed. I know, I’m lame, but it blindsided me.

Pluggers: An albino rhino? Or Michael Jackson treatments.

Pickles: Ha ha! Men are such simpletons!

Dennis the Menace: Garfield’s title panel is more menacing than you. Take that and stuff it in your frog hole.
Gojira
December 7th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

S-M: Out of curiosity, did an image search for Grand Central clock. Turns out, GC does have a big clock, but it’s on top of the information booth, not overhead. The likelihood of two goons, one in a Spider-Man costume, tying someone to it with no one noticing? Same as with Big Time’s fictitious weapon-of-choice: Zero.
dreadedcandiru2
December 7th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

239: True Fable — In this instance, I don’t care a bit that Elly got undermined; as a matter of fact, I applaud John for doing it.

Besides, something occurred to me just now. In a few years time, Lizzie will end up in the hospital with an unspecified illness whose sudden-seeming appearance baffled and frightened Elly. After I saw how frightened she was in today’s exercise in failed parenting, it seems to me that what will happen is that a chronic disease finally flares up enough that even Elly would notice.
Baka Gaijin
December 7th, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

#239 True Fable: Baaaaaa, BRRRRR!!!! BAAAAAA!
Nyborg
December 7th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I find it amusing that Pluggers is pretty much disqualified from capitalizing on the current economic downturn that is providing so much grist for the mill in the daily funnies. While others strips will be able to fall back on jokes about gas prices and “staycations” for months to come, it has been established that Pluggers use egg cartons as jewelry boxes and consider eating the free samples at Costco “dining out” under normal circumstances. The strip has elevated the value of thriftiness to such an unrealistic degree that its impossible to employ it in a topical manner. Also, it has been suggested on more than one occasion that Pluggers’ habits of cannibalism help their local economies thrive.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

DT — Dick’s hand in the final panel may be the worst DT allegedly-human extremity ever. Which is saying something.
Mibbitmaker
December 7th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

9CL: I know I’m not thrilled with Thorax… and I’m sure the Universe (and probably NASA) feel the same way.

JP (throwaway panels taken on their own): Next panel: “Mexico it is, then…!”

JP (non-throwaway panels only): Oh, Dixie, I think you’ve got something to lose, alright…!

MW: Well, it’s about freakin’ time!! Still waiting on the “something else” from almost a week ago, though…
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

# 254 dreadedcandiru2 — As a non-parent, I don’t know how one should ideally handle the situation in today’s ReFoob. But somehow I doubt if Elly’s way is it.

Today’s strip is a relief from the past week in one way — the characters aren’t hollow-eyed. Constantly, unremittingly hollow-eyed. Yeesh. When Edward Gorey does that, it’s fun.
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

JP — I was hoping that “take me to Mexico” was code for “screw me silly,” so I could see Sam do Jack Benny’s famous response, “I’m thinking, I’m thinking.”
Poteet
December 7th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

LIO — Awwww…*sniff* Now I may have to rent that movie again.
dyslexic dog
December 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

#251 — bats :[
Here’s an even better source, this time with “Canada’s best-known comic duo’s” names spelt correctly.

p.s. bats :[ , it was a joy trying to figure out how to colonize (artfully place a colon behind) your blognom, before eventually giving up. Thanks for the welcome mental gymnastics exercise, which I am convinced added several decades to the lifespan of at least a few of these addled bran cels.
Mibbitmaker
December 7th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Zits: I think I’ve seen that commercial.

S-M: Spidey: “I wonder where Maria went… hmmmm… if only there were a tell-tale sign… like…. maybe a written note or something….. Damn, can’t find anything… Oh, well, off I go…!” (leaves)
commodorejohn
December 7th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#246 John C Fremont – I call Servo!

A3G – So “detective” is just another word for “meddling snoop,” then?

AS – I’m pretty sure this is someone’s fetish.

Blondie – I got an honest chuckle out of Blondie today, because this is exactly the reason I don’t go to parties.

BS – Wait, what? If they weren’t stranded in the desert, why were they just kicking around in the tent while the bad guys got away? And why are we leaving the brightest character behind? I swear, Brigman and Schmich, if we don’t see Miella again I’m going to have to…write a scathing indictment and post it on the Internet.

Crankshaft – Ha ha, they view their children as walking exhibitions of their own failings! Ha ha ha!

Curtis – Where “new” is defined to mean nearly as old as I am, yes.

DTM – Insert filthy, filthy joke here.

DT – Oh man, between Brute Force’s quip and the McLaughlin-ized version of Tracy’s head punt, this totally makes up for the sub-par unquality of the past few days.

FC – This just in: horizontal surfaces can be used for a variety of things.

FG – Oh good. I was afraid we’d never see Werewolf Chick again.

FW – Tom Batiuk decides to borrow the “children exist to relive their parents’ lives” theme from Lynn Johnston.

HOTC – Oh man, that’s a keeper.

H&L – Lois, Angus MacGyver could kill you with that thought balloon. Show a little respect.

JP – She thought they were going to Mexico, but in the end it turned out he was just taking Kathleen home again.

MW – Oh my. Oh my. Having Mary engage in flashbacks was wonderful enough, but having another character relate her flashback to Mary should be…brain-boggling.

MC – Now that’s just badass.

NAOQV – As much as I may get exasperated with this strip for its straw-man politics, it’s all worth it for moments like the Very Best Family Circus Send-Up Ever.

OBH – ATTN: Tom Batiuk: this is how it’s done. (Is it just me, or does 20-something Ruthie look more than a little like Robin deSanto of Shortpacked!?)

Phantom – Today’s award for Most Awkward And Obfuscated Dialogue goes to The Phantom, for the truly confusing “We live in Mawitaan sometimes! Even the USA!”

Pluggers – Pluggers confuse Dreamworks potboilers with art.

PC – Even though desert whales don’t exist, they totally should.

RMMD – This has to be the most incoherent Rex Morgan in recent memory; I count at least three breaks in the narrative thread. And now we’re getting another subplot, as if the strip didn’t already have its hands full with “there’s a stowaway or possibly a pirate in the lifeboat,” “the crew of the liner are dicks,” and “Sarah reads while Rex and June have loud sex.”

SFx – Now just a minute! Snakes don’t go randomly gallavanting about stealing eggs pre-moult! They stop eating and find a safe spot. Note the stop eating part, which is precisely the reason a snake would be taking an egg in the first place; whatever the truth is about the gruesome infanticide alleged by Mrs. Duck, this snake is innocent! We should not stand for this clear guilt-by-association-with-Weirdly judgement on the part of Slylock! (Note to self: apparently anthropomorphic birds in the Slylockverse are oviparous. You’d think they’d take more precaution in protecting their babies. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.)

SM – Now there’s two artists credited for the Sundays, and both of the sorry bastards are still trying their darnedest to make Spider-Man seem dramatic and suspenseful. In a sort of perverse way, I look forward to the first time Peter Parker sits down to watch TV in a Sunday strip; the artistic shouting-into-the-wind that results should be fascinating.
agony
December 7th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s Pooch Cafe – anybody have any idea what’s going on there? They’re playing a game of telephone about Poncho’s ass? That can’t be it.
queek
December 7th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

264: darnit, you made go look at more funnies online.

NAoQV was awesome.

OBH flash-forward: I would have been happier not knowing that adult Ruthie is rack-tastic.
Gojira
December 7th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

#253 me re: the big clock in S-M: I stand corrected. Since the note on Maria’s desk doesn’t refer to Grand Central, did some more checking. Looks like what Stan Lee had in mind was the Penn Station Clock. Of course, the clock and the rest of the station were demolished in 1963 in order to build Madison Square Garden (a tragedy!), but I guess they still hold a high place in Stan’s memories.

#264 cj: Not that much about Alex Saviuk online, but there’s plenty on Joltin’ Joe Sinnott.
Angry Kem
December 7th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

OBH just made me go:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And I’m still not sure why.
Baka Gaijin
December 7th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#265 agony: I’m guessing that Poncho’s mouth told a story that his butt couldn’t corroborate. I couldn’t get past all the closeups of dog asses. That’s pretty disturbing.
Eldaglass
December 8th, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

I was so happy to find that I’m not the only person who remembers Dahl’s “Lamb to the Slaughter”!
Donkey Hotey
December 8th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

#265 agony – I took it to be an homage to Norman Rockwell’s “Gossip.” (Dogs, of course, sniff each other’s behinds instead of gossiping.)
Martin Gray
December 10th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Love the site. Have you ever seen Harold’s Planet? There is no lamer strip!

http://harolds-planet.blogspot.com/

http://www.haroldsplanet.com/mainsite.htm
Tom S. Fox
December 10th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Are you sure that what the parson eats is the weapon and not the victim?

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Oh, I get it! It means “Pluggers steal food from dead people”

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