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Haha, the little boy is saying what we’re all thinking!

Wizard of Id, 8/23/13

Wizard of Id doesn’t go in for meticulously researched historical detail like Prince Valiant or whatever, but usually its strips include its pseudo-historical characters in its faux-medieval milieu, or at least people who might be plausibly presented as existing in said faux-medieval milieu, even if there are also jokey non-medieval angles to the gag. But today all of the strip’s 49 years of accumulated baggage has been cast aside so that we can enjoy this entirely contemporary joke. Not that it isn’t worth it, obviously, since the punchline is so original, so groundbreaking, that once it had been conceived of it would have been a literal crime against humanity to give it anything but the widest publication possible. (It’s about how kids today use computers instead of magazines, you see, and also about how the magazines in doctors’ offices are generally quite old.)

Family Circus, 8/23/13

Remember, old people aren’t better at hugging because their age and wisdom have opened their hearts more fully to the possibility of loving other human beings without judgement or fear. They’ve just done it more than you have! Have you ever been hugged by a child? It was awful, right? They’re terrible at it. They need more practice.

176 responses to “Haha, the little boy is saying what we’re all thinking!”

  1. Huckleberry Fink
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy: Ruthie does her best to emulate Matilda Wormwood.

    Hägar: “As long as you persist in wearing a pink snuggie and a silly bowl
    on your head, I refuse to answer that question!”

  2. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Grandma kind of resembles some old Hollywood actor cross-dressing. I can’t identify who though.

  3. pugfuggly
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    WoI with special guest appearance by Denis the Menace…..’s mutated older brother.

    FC I get the sense that Dolly answers a lot of questions nobody asks…

  4. bats :[
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    Eh. Might as well check in on Mary and Shannon; I guess this was the rep-roaring Pax: Healthiness Resort, Part 2, that I’d been anticipating (*sigh*).

    RMMD: I still think it would’ve been cooler if June had been referring to the English Navy.

  5. C. Sandy Cyst
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Id has given up. Next week it will be renamed “Jacques Derrida’s Golfing Funnies” and consist of nothing but three xeroxes of a library picture of a monkey on a trike.

  6. Chareth Cutestory
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Id: Laugh it up kid! You just joked your way out of all the fun prescriptions.

  7. Mibbitmaker
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    WoI 2013: Reverse archaic setting aside, I’m afraid the strip has society dead to rights on this one. It’s not so much “these kids today” as it is “here’s new technology… well’p, must wipe out basic mainstays of human existence like books and magazines. We can’t just give people more options where they can choose any way to do things they wish! Where’s the money in that?! Wipe out all competition! Wipe out all competition!”

    9CL: Satire FAIL!

    Pibbeth Gorn: That Burber way in a nutshell. It’s in all Brooke’s female characters, after all. “The wimp is so gauche. I can seduce him way too easily to be bothered.”

  8. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: In one strip, these “young” ladies are producing more excitement than Tommie has in the entire history of the comic. (“Underage” boozing, whoo!)

    WoI: This is Wizard of Id, doctor. Face the damn camera.

  9. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Nancy PSA: I’m not sure what Popeye’s nephew Poopeye (or Pipeye or Pupeye or Peepeye) is doing in today’s strip, but yeah, bullies bad.

  10. Anonymous Voshkod
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    As with Hart’s B.C., clearly the Wizard of Id occur after the collapse of modern civilization. Here we see one of the first moments of that collapse; a sick child making a note about the dehumanizing tendencies of modern technology alienates his doctor, is not treated, and spreads a civilization-ending plague.

    The question for scholars is this: It the timeline modernity-WoI-BC, or modernity-BC-WoI? Does civilization fall into the middle ages before collapse, or does it collapse and then rise to the middle ages?

  11. pugfuggly
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    A3G “My stupid mom is out with her stupid boyfriend! Of course my smart mom is still at home working on that concerto. How those two got together, I’ll never know…”

    B 1/2 You say more with your eyes than your mouth? The two of you must be in constant bewildering shock.

    C’shaft Looks like the bus drivers celebrate the first day of school with an aggressive orgy.

    FW Hmmmm…looks like Batiuk caught Mean Girls on Netflicks last night. Or, you know, one of the thousands of other comics/movies/TV shows to use that moldy joke.

    MT “A carnivorous Tyrannosaurus Rex! And it sees me! What do I say? ‘Hey Mr Rex, I’m a big fan and…‘ No no no….’Hot enough for ya, Tyra?‘ Ugh NO!….’Hi, T. Rex, I know this is a little forward, but I was wondering if…‘ Oh god he’s coming over now….”

    MW And with a wave of her hand, Mary moves Aggie and her deep-seated personal problems to the ‘unsolvable/don’t care’ bin and moves on to more serious
    issues, like why Shannon decided to go a ‘talking circle’ wearing a fishnet haltertop.

    SM “I’d sure be able to enjoy those soldier’s deaths more if my sister wasn’t being held captive. Alive, mind you, but still.”

  12. Dennis Jimenez
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    WoI – Ah, very good one, young squire – now just let me get my leech jar….

    FC – I have a theory that Thel’s mom was the inspiration for the Commodores hit, Brick House….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  13. seismic-2
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    WoI: I for one, would be skeptical of going to a physician whose medical diploma has a seal that consists of his caricature, in profile.

  14. cheech wizard
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    FC – Children don’t need more practice. That would mean they need someone to practice on. Now get off my lawn, ya little bastard! And no, it’s my ball now.

  15. Nekrotzar
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Grandma is able to convincingly pretend that the blob-child is appealing and deserving of affection. That takes YEARS of practice.

  16. White Rabbit
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

  17. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    The Phantom: “you’re no hit man! You’re a guy in a purple leotard with a striped crotch! You…. you…. you’re the *superhero* from the Village People!”

  18. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    A&J’s blog repeat is TOTALLY the QG and I when we go to our favorite Mexican place. El Az cheese dip is to die for.

    rMC: YAY!!!! little shark as Masky McDeath!!! *buttwiggles in glee*

    Dilbert: Casual Friday has gone too far.

    Lio: AAAGGHHH! o dear, that’s hysterical!

    JumpStart is several MT story arcs behind.

    SBp: should have invited Camus on the road trip.

    Zits: mmmm, bacon.

    JP: I wouldn’t be able to sleep either with that hideous of a sofa in the room. brrr.

    RMMD: the smugness, it burns.

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . better when done by Eva Rose.

  20. Stephen J
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

  21. Ed Dravecky
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    I want to keep up with the current Spider-Man plotline but every time I try, I find myself listlessly slouched on the couch watching reality show reruns. That Gordon Ramsay is a scamp!

  22. Justin T.
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#12): My same thought. The Doctor just wants to bleed the comeuppance out of this brat.

  23. bats :[
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#5): And yet, it would be funnier.

  24. Nekrotzar
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous Voshkod (#10):
    And what about the recent drug-induced Heathcliff strips? Do they depict the last few days before the collapse, or the rise of a new civilization on the radioactive ashes of the old?

  25. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    In light of yesterday’s A3G, I was amused to read this parental warning in my morning paper about a movie opening this weekend: “R, extreme violence, gore, coarse language, smoking.” Not necessarily in that order, I presume.
    //”A girl who will commit extreme violence will use coarse language, and a girl who will use coarse language will smoke, and I think we all know what a girl who will *smoke* will do!”

  26. White Rabbit
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

  27. Droopy Says
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous Voshkod (#10): BC could fit into the cyclical Canticle for Liebowitz format, where a postnuclear society collapses into the Dark Ages, slowly rises until it reaches a level where it has starships and colony worlds, then nukes itself into oblivion. WoI could arise after the destruction of our world in a limited nuclear war, (cf. the scenario cited by Raghead the Fiendly Terrorist), in which modest amounts of background radiation would permit a semblance of normal life, marred by certain freakish mutations (dragons, the Fink King and the Spook) and some survival of pre-holocaust technology. This world could rise through the level of Crock (a good theory should predict such conditions), pre-TRMT Mark Trail and Reply All, until it destroys itself through another holocaust. More nuclear and biochemical devastation would leave the world barely able to support a few radiation-addled survivors, as well as mutated dogs, lizards and birds.

    Does this make any sense? How can it, when we’re talking about WoI, BC and other unthinkable horrors?

  28. Kristian
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#14): … and you’re not getting your rock back either!

  29. Bootsy
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): sez

    Grandma kind of resembles some old Hollywood actor cross-dressing. I can’t identify who though.

    Ernest Borgnine? That’s what I thought.

  30. Anonymous Voshkod
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#27): I think we’re approached a grand unified theory here, folks. Beetle Bailey is about the dying military structure just before another great war. Get Fuzzy is in a civilization rising again, but with mutated talking animals. Over the Hedge is the talking animals getting ready to take over, and Slylock Fox is after the animal conquest.

    And Garfield just sucks.

  31. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Phantom, the pilot suddenly realizes that this guy in the purple tights is no hit man – he’s…he’s… the guy in purple tights he saw in Bangalla! Because, like, what are the odds that there’d be two guys in purple tights?
    //and I do mean ‘odd’.

  32. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): She looks very much like Lionel Barrymore in his later years. Also, she seems to have squeezed into her tight girdle for this picture.

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    brainmush for bb,u. squared.

    meanwhile, in Canada.

    Pluggers.

    Pudge.

    corgis make ponies 20% cooler.

    kissy foxes.

    a little something in white for Poteet.

  34. Dennis Jimenez
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#32): I’d go with Jack Benny in Charlies Aunt….

  35. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    a note for bourbon babe, unbuckled, from yesterthread.

    yes, Zooborns is a site full of squee. :-D

  36. Dennis Jimenez
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#34): Wait – what if a 1980′s era Bob Hope did Charlie’s Aunt – at a dinner theater in Scotsdale – with Bob Crain as Charlie….

  37. Anonymous Voshkod
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#24): Ah, Heathcliff. Clearly a very symbolic strip, in which the cat represents an increasing decedant civilization; think Rome in the age of Caligula, but with a cat, and heavy drug use. There are several symbolic strips; Marmaduke, for example, is really all about the nuclear-industrial complex, with Marmaduke himself representing the hydrogen bomb. Thus the frequent sights of bones, craters, and Hitler in the comic.

  38. wossname
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MT – Quick, Rusty, quick! Give him Sassy!

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2) @Bootsy (#29): My first thought was Ernest Borgnine, too.

  39. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    I should be taking notes. I just *know* there’s gonna be a test on this

    @Anonymous Voshkod (#10): @Droopy Says (#27):

  40. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#34): Benny had a more classical nose, while Barrymore had that weird underbite and bad-false-teeth look that Granny has in profile.

  41. Downpuppy
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): She’s drawn exactly like her husband, Richard Nixon, with more hair. Somehow the hair & grim smile add up to Karl Malden.

  42. Walker of Dog
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    AS-M: All that forward pressure on his toes is about to set off Peter’s bunion-sense.

    A3G: Tori, people living in glass houses wearing off-center ponytails shouldn’t throw stones.

    JP: Abbey is so rattled that she’s clearing the serving tray herself.

    MT: The Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction explained in one panel.

  43. Peanut Gallery
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#4):

    RMMD: I still think it would’ve been cooler if June had been referring to the English Navy.

    I thought it said “There’s no substitution for an English navvy.” Sarah does look like she’s had some schooling in ditch-digging.

    And why “no substitution,” rather than “no substitute”? Is June wistfully recalling a failed attempt at screwball comedy, when she planned to have the nanny kidnapped and replaced by a disguised Robin Williams, but he wanted too much money?

  44. seismic-2
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#32): Are you saying that Grandma wants the Keane Kompound to become Pottersville? Because I could really get behind that.

  45. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#44): Isn’t it, already? The mere advent of the melonheads would assure that.

  46. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Josh picks one of the anonymous comments from yesterday as COTW?
    //not trying to put ideas in your head, Josh, but it would be funny.

  47. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Why read “Pibgorn” when I can follow the adventures of Flapper Fritzi Ritz right here:

    http://cartoonician.com/fritzi-ritz-before-bushmiller-shes-come-a-long-way-baby/

    Today’s Fritzi looks pretty good for a woman who’s over 90 years old!

  48. Downpuppy
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#40): I’ve found it – Little Caesar

  49. Illustrator Steve
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    MT – The T-Rex says… “OH NO! An anachronistic Rusty Trail … and it SEES ME!”

  50. Kibo
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Like Jerry Seinfeld once said, “What’s the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines.” “Wizard of Id” could do a whole week of riffs on that, “What’s the difference between a barber-dentist and a headsman?”, “What’s the difference between a bloodletter and whoever enjoys cartoons about crudely-drawn people chained to dungeon walls for decades?”, etc.

  51. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MT: Even in The Land Before Time, Rusty will manage to get himself kidnapped.

  52. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD – I know a lot of mothers might think that, but notice how quickly June vocalizes her assumption that the credit for Widdle Sawah’s ‘talent’ goes to her good parenting. Precociousness, sure you can have an impact, but if she really is supposed to be some kind of artistic prodigy, I don’t know how June’s half-assed lectures contributed in any way.

    Of course, she throws in a humblebrag about having a British nanny to cover herself. Once again it raises the question of who reads the strip non-ironically. Wealthy people presumably don’t need wealth porn in their daily comics, and less-wealthy people might resent the entitlement on display here from little miss June. “Everyone should have an English Nanny! Oh, the convenience!”

    Why is it important that Sarah do the drarwrings herself? Would there be an Oprah-sized scandal if it was learned that mommy actually contracted out the work to little 5YO slave kids in China? Would the first million copies be burned on the steps of the Morgan Mansion in protest if their authenticity as actual horsie drawings made by a litte girl was questioned?

  53. Ian Beste
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Bizarro Unclear on the concept.

    Peanuts I’m so surprised my cap has reversed gravity.

    Lio Perfect accompaniment to the last Krabby Patty you’ll ever have.

  54. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    MW: “Because let’s face it: Neither of us is a licensed psychotherapist or otherwise in any way equipped to deal with someone’s deep-seated emotional issues, and we really have no business mucking around in other people’s psyches because we could do irreparable damage to them! So, anyway—how about a smoothie?”

  55. geogreg
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    MT: The real question is this: can a T. rex kidnap Rusty using only its tiny little arms?

    Heathcliff: Something’s wrong with Heathcliff today. He’s doing something that actual cats do. Sure, the mice are talking, but where are the jet packs, African charismatic megafauna, or costumes?

  56. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2):

    Grandma kind of resembles some old Hollywood actor cross-dressing. I can’t identify who though.

    I’m going to go with Lou Costello in drag:

    http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/lou.jpeg

  57. Walter Matthau
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): That’s Walter Matthau. I’m sure of it.

  58. geogreg
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#51):

    Dang… beaten to the kidnapping joke. Also, I forgot to mention the expression on the face of that T. rex. What’s it thinking? Is it anticipating the meal soon to come? Astonished that such a hideous creature could exist? Plotting a scheme to poach pteranodons?

  59. Odie Odo
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

  60. Anonymous
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in the Lost Forest…
    http://pinterest.com/pin/262475484506231820/

  61. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

  62. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#56): I’m changing my vote. Lou Costello, definitely.

  63. Jack Lemmon
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

  64. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    SF: Woo hoo! Let’s get the preg lady stoned!

  65. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    9CL – No, the “tried in the press” diatribe didn’t come out of nowhere at all!

    Just more evidence that Edda is truly the center of the universe. When she loses her virginity to a doofus in a hotel room in Belgium, she is of course secretly videotaped from a hot air balloon full of onlookers, who post the video to pornhub where, overnight, everyone in the world watches it. When she farcically testifies in a small rural court over the issue of a purloined (and probably sirloined by now) cow, the global papers fall all over each other in order to sensationalize it. When she models for lingerie ads, the board of directors of the company drops everything in order to focus all their attention on finding a way to punish her for being so damned sexy and popular and amazing and wonderful. Why, it is almost as if Sarah Morgan and Sophie Driver and Liz Patterfoob didn’t exist at all!

  66. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#y343): Christ, you’re longer-winded than I am.

  67. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#66): Don’t underestimate yourself.
    //Also, name of the Lord in vain, etc.

  68. Anonymous Voshkod
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

  69. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#66):

    Sheesh, if anyone could successfully petition the Lord with prayer, it would be louis vitton handbags sale. They would drone on and on and on, saying something almost coherent but just not quite there, until finally the Lord just said ‘screw it, you are messing with my day off’ and gave in.

  70. Odie Odo
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#47): Why read “Pibgorn” when I can follow the adventures of Flapper Fappable Fritzi Ritz…

    FIFY

  71. comicsgrl
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2):

    I’m thinking Jonathan Winters.

  72. seismic-2
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    I would say that Grandma is played by Jim Backus, if that means that the Melonheads will be sent on a 3-hour cruise on the Minnow.

  73. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#69): This is my theory when I pray.
    //”Send her away! She is following us and making all this noise!” – Mt. 15:23

  74. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    A new application of an old joke (I’m pretty sure Thorax would allow it in his courtroom).

  75. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#67): Hey now, I’ve only preached more than half an hour a couple of times.

  76. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#74): That should be “Astle”.

  77. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Speaking of ‘assles’, do you think McEldowney intended Juliet to look supercilious in today’s Pibgorn? Also, is her mother supposed to be tremendously tall, or is Juliet a midget? Also, where is the Mary Worth-led support group for people who waste time worrying about McEldowney comics?

  78. Jim in Wisc.
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Hi(gher than a Kite) & Lois: Wow, just how old is the recycled artwork in today’s strip? A radio with a coat hanger for an antenna, really? Shouldn’t Chip be listening to music on his iPhone these days?

    Rapey Cancerstrokebean: Maybe if you had a coach who could run an offense more sophisticated than Pee Wee League. Jes’ sayin’ is all.

  79. Écureuil Écumant
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#66): Yeah, spam like that leaves me indignant just like a ruffled policewoman.

  80. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#79): Maybe your tolerance for McEldowney has run its course. Have you reviewed your past interactions for possible causes?

  81. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#33): Aw, look at those pups! (And when I was walking Lolly this morning, there was a corgi walking in front of us; I kept giggling at the corgibutt.)

    @geogreg (#58): Yours was better.

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#82): *jealous*

    my neighborhood needs more corgis. :-(

  83. Esther Blodgett
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    I knew there had to be a good reason why the embrace of young children makes my skin crawl. It’s because they’re appallingly bad at it. Whew, for a minute there I thought I didn’t know how to love. Thanks, Josh!

  84. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Is this the end of little Rusty? God willing, yes!

  85. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

  86. Joe Blevins
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Two observations about this Family Circus:

    1. “I’ve just about squeezed all the life essence out of you. Yes! Yes, I can feel myself getting stronger… my hair getting darker! IT WORKS!”

    2. Dolly has the most menacing expression on her face when she says the most banal things. I mean, look at her up there. She’s like a gangster in a 1930s movie. The caption should be something like: “I ain’t tellin’ you nothin’, copper!”

  87. Illustrator Steve
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    MT – These great illustrations of dinosaurs sure are realistic looking! So realistic that the dino on the left in panel #1 seems to be sniffing something quite ripe coming from the fresh Jackelrod ball the T-rex just pooped onto the ground behind him.

    // Something else smelling quite ripe is a red haired mutant kid wandering around aimlessly in dream land filled with primeval life forms without having had a bath or shower in, what, about two weeks now?

    /// speaking of wandering around aimlessly, I wonder which area Mark has choosen today for searching out poacher traps, Disneyworld? Seaworld? Primeval world? The entire length of Route 66?

  88. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#4): Bwahaha! Brilliant! Tequilla shots! Clothing optional water aerobics! Love it!

  89. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#91): I think Dolly grows up to be Margo. She’s able to use her personality traits to extort a significant amount of plastic surgery.

  90. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#25):

    “… and I think we all know what a girl who will *smoke* will do!”

    Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar.

  91. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    MW “But I hope she finds peace with her situation. Somehow… and soon…. Hey, I’ve got an idea! Shannon, why can’t you be Aggie’s new best friend? You could spend the rest of her time here at the resort hanging out with her. Then when she returns home, you could call her everyday and plan vacations together. Maybe even relocate. Wouldn’t that be a great resolution to your ham-fisted attempt to help her? Think about it. I’m sure you’ll do the right thing.”

  92. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    MW “Perhaps I don’t really know her. I mean, you spend 5 minutes with someone in a small group setting, and you’d think you’d know everything about them – their likes and dislikes, family history, pet peeves, favorite songs, allergies, shoe size. I just don’t get it!”

  93. bbofun
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): I’ve gotta say Walter Matthau.

  94. Dennis Jimenez
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#99): The nose gives it away -Karl Mauldin….

  95. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    So. My new puppy chases water diamonds in the pool, round and round, until he’s tired. He rushes up, kisses me on the lips, and collapses in the shade of the bamboos.

    // that’s all.

  96. Liam
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    FC-”I won’t let those Nazis take you away, PJ. You’ll be safe with me.”

  97. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#110):

    // Why do people hate wannabe theocratic dictators so?

    Oh, I don’t know. Something to do with that controlling other people’s lives in areas that don’t need controlling thing. Some people are so picky.

  98. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#113):

    tallyHO started it.

  99. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): It’s the ‘wannabe’ part. Once one succeeds in becoming a totalitarian leader, no one will say they hate you.

  100. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#115): Yeah, yeah, ‘Not Me’ and ‘Ida Know’

  101. agony
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Aggie’s coming back with an AK 47, isn’t she? “Problems more deep-seated than they appear”, indeed….

  102. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#110): I’m a dog person, through and through. Anyone who is a dog-lover, is a friend of mine.
    There, I said it! And I’m not ashamed!

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#105): It was total squee. I could not make this stuff up.

  104. Homer and Shrug, But I'm All Out of Homer
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#25):

    “I think we all know what a girl who will *smoke* will do!” ”

    In the immortal, stirring words of Homer and Jethro:

    “Rooty toot toot, rooty toot toot,
    We are the boys from the Boy Scout troop;
    We don’t smoke, and we don’t chew,
    And we don’t go with the girls that do!”

  105. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): Aw, puppy kisses. Pictures, please. If nothing else, isn’t that the purpose of Facebook? To provide me with many many puppy pictures?

  106. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#117):

    SQUIRREL!

    //Well, I tried. I hear it can distract.

  107. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Homer and Shrug, But I’m All Out of Homer (#121):

    Homer and Jethro. Poets for our time.

    Maybe a bit past time since they’re both deceased.

  108. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @agony (#118):

    Aggie’s coming back with an AK 47, isn’t she? “Problems more deep-seated than they appear”, indeed….

    Yeah. She landed the lead in the Paxil Wellness Resort and Rehab’s Little Theater production of “Aggie Get Your Gun!”
    // Very cathartic.

  109. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): Something to do with that controlling other people’s lives in areas that don’t need controlling thing.

    Well, other than THAT, of course. It’s only for your own good, you know.

  110. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#18):

    SBp: should have invited Camus on the road trip.

    That’s the first thing I thought when I read Speed Bump today.

  111. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Homer and Shrug, But I’m All Out of Homer (#121): I once read that Norfolk State U students chant, “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, Norfolk, Norfolk.” Nice clean-living kids.
    //get your filthy mind out of the gutter!

  112. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#126):

    Well, you do like dogs.

    //Hmmm. So did Adolf Hitler.

  113. bats :[
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#93): I love this. Like the rest of the world, we all have work to do (but making fun of Rusty/Lu Ann/Luann/Mary is always more satisfying!).

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): Life. Is. Good.

    I’m going with Lou Costello.

  114. Odie Odo
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#107): Wizard of Id — “Your waiting room would be even better if you had those magazines called Playboy.”

    It’s an equal opportunity waiting room, so they also have copies of PLAYGAUL.

  115. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#115):

    Yes and No.

    I’m sayin’ VD had to start somewhere, that’s all. Lost Forest, The Lost World, Monkey with a dinosaur on its back, it had to start somewhere.

    With Rusty, maybe it probably would not have started with him. He’s not even a real boy. It couldn’t happen to him…unless…by traveling back in time, Rusty took the VD to the dinosaurs.

    Oh well. It doesn’t matter.

  116. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129):
    Taking issue with that: So do chicken ladies. And in turn dog dudes love bumping the squawk box.

    It’s true. I read it in the newspaper!

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#116): Why Lumaca! You are a special friend!

  118. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#132):

    …by traveling back in time, Rusty took the VD to the dinosaurs.

    So that’s how dinosaurs became extinct.

  119. Angry Hipster
    August 23rd, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#131):

    I’ve always wanted to start my day with a naked Asterix and Obelix.

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): It is, my friend. Consider the alternative!

  121. bats :[
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    (Oh. By the bye, I don’t think you can see it on flickr, but if you go to my blog, there’s a short animation of Rusty’s Jurassic Dream. Nothing fancy, but hey, these .gifs are a pain in the patoot to do, so pretend or something…)

  122. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#137): Umphskja;salk! ‘Scuse me.

  123. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#139):

    Now you’ve gone and made Sassy all horny.

    //It’s a PUN, Lumaca Morente. A pun. Don’t impute.

  124. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#135):

    oh.

    whaddaya know? I just accidentally postulated that, didn’t I?
    Though it would not have occurred to me if you had not clarified it.
    Now all that is left is to get credit and decide whose name is on the Nobel Prize.

  125. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#114): Generally, they only want to regulate ladyparts. Your guns should be safe.

  126. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#139): It takes a long freaking time to do even something simple. I really need to learn some of the automated processes to speed things up.

  127. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Angry Hipster (#136):

    I’ve always wanted to start my day with a naked Asterix and Obelix.

    Wow! For a brief moment, I thought you were referring to a book I’d read as a twenty-something:
    Astra and Flondrix
    The cover art is provocative enough. I haven’t thought of that one in years. I wonder what ever happened to my copy.
    Anyone else familiar with it?

  128. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#143):

    Depends what you mean by “guns.” I make reference to the little poem in Battle Cry.

  129. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#139): Cool! Way cool! And a dog! Of sorts.

  130. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#146): Keep your dangling bits away from other dangling bits. Does that clear it up?

  131. Cloudbuster
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Morticia?

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): What’s she got that I haven’t got?
    And don’t say ‘buttocks’.

    ***
    Um. Ok.

  133. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#60): *snerk* “cuz it’s barfing” Bwahahaha!

  134. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#139): Thanks for the heads-up; I usually check your blog daily but I missed that one! Excellent! (Sassy looks like vintage Dr. Seuss…)

  135. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150):

    Wow, she has you speechless. I haven’t seen that before.

    Is that any way for a wannabe theocratic dictator to be?

  136. Peanut Gallery
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#145): After looking at that, naturally I had to see what other books the author wrote. I think I found one of the sources B McE steals from for Pibgorn. (See the review.)

  137. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): Look. I have this thing… about buttocks.

    I’m not ashamed of it or anything. It’s normal, really! Look it up.

    But… Butt. Butttt.Arrghehoiueoiu!

  138. Joe Blevins
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Alternate, more era-appoprite word balloon for Wizard of Id: “I just slayed a dragon in your waiting room. It kept screaming that it was a nurse as it begged for its life. How ’bout that?” rimshot

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#155): 30-32948-093842309485-2309485-234093940!!!!!

    bUTTOCKS! firm, large, jauntliiy bu\\ouncing!!!

  140. Amos Snarkadder
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#154): Thanks – I never thought to look for other books the author had written.
    I am not familiar with Pigborn. I see some of the comments here about it, but never have checked it out.
    When I read Astra and Flondrix I was young and anything that was “shocking” always made a big impression.

  141. Peanut Gallery
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#158): I don’t read Bigporn either; looking at 9CL a few times was more than bad enough. But from the comments I see here, apparently it has a lot to do with creepy djinn sex.

  142. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#157):

    Excuse me. I’m going to close the door now.

  143. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#157): I’m afraid that the Reverend Scudder has become overtired. With a little rest he will return to his ministry.

  144. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Holy moses, Scudder’s finally blown a gasket.
    //We all knew it would happen some day.

  145. DaveyK
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure even a well-practiced Grandma hug is going to make up for the fact that PJ lost his arms somehow.

  146. ErikTheUnready
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    FC: Lol, Dolly thinks that her mother’s cold refusal of physical contact and emotional comfort is normal consequence of her youth, but we know that their relationship will only deteriorate further until one of them dies or escapes. Kids have the darndest coping mechanisms for psychological trauma!

  147. Sequitur
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon (#162):

    Perhaps he needs a new project like when he brought Barney Google back to Barney Google and Snuffy Smith. Maybe something like bringing Blondie back to Blondie.

  148. Lisa B.
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    *Family Circus*
    Yes, it’s sad but true: I have a long-standing Family Circus conundrum. Todays’ Drag Grandma debate reminded me of my confusion:

    I thought Glasses Grandma – the one with the white hair – was already dead. As a kid, I remember thinking how sad it was she transparent/dead, since she vaguely resembled my own grandmother.

    This very long time ago back in the early 80′s or late 70′s (?) I know her hubby is a ghost now, but I thought he died after she did.

    Did they bring her back by mistake? Miracle? Zombie? Or am I just thinking she was a ghost, capering about with those creepy ‘Not Me’ and ‘Ida Know’ things?

  149. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Somebody send Nehemiah whiskey and pictures of Aunt Fritzi, stat!

  150. I speak Jive
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan -Who writes this crap – Gwyneth Paltrow?
    Seriously, I have about had it with this strip. Wake me in around six months when they move on to something else.

  151. Dennis Jimenez
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#170): I bow to the photographic evidence….

  152. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#170): Send that to Scudder, stat!

  153. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#168): Somebody send Nehemiah whiskey and pictures of Aunt Fritzi, stat!

    How did you DO that? Thank you. Reverend Scudder is resting quietly. He’ll be fine.

  154. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Ha!

    VeeDee killed the Dino-saur!

    It all fits together so well, no?

    I am sure The Buggles would reunited to cut a new track that also name checks Rusty, Mark, Cherry and DOC!

  155. bats :[
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    She’s rather grandmotherly in a Mary Worth sort of way

  156. Inkwell
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    When I was a kid, I hated those “kids these days, they’ve never heard of [obvious crap that everyone's heard of]” comics. They were so condescending and I wondered why adults thought we were so dumb.

    Does anybody else share the burning hatred of my childhood?

  157. pastordan, on the road
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

  158. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#176):
    I’m glad you brought it up. I hated you then and I still hate you!

  159. tallyOY!
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#176):

    Seriously though…
    There is that song…well, this song

    Wow! That features a time-travelling actress who used to be married to Tom Cruise and who has that five head (vs. a forehead). She’s Australian. An Australian Time Traveller. A Temporal Wonder from Down Under, she is, OY!

  160. Alison
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#169):
    Gwyneth Paltrow would be the perfect writer for this strip! If she ever gets tired of that newsletter she writes telling people all about her favorite $500 tank tops and $300 yoga pants, I know just the job for her!

    “Rex Morgan”: I like to imagine that English nanny that June is so smug about, actually hates June and constantly says things to Widdle Sarah such as,”Well, looks like bloody Mummy’s gone off to eat free clams again. Why do people keep giving that barmy woman so many bloody free things? Rubbish.”

    “Mary Worth”: Okay, I know this is cynical, but really, I think it’s ridiculous how everyone in MW hopes for the best about people who aren’t nice to them. No matter how rude someone is, everyone else just says things like, “I certainly hope so-and-so can get to the root of their problem! She does seem to be bothered by a specific event! I wonder what it is?” Just once I’d like to hear someone say something like, “Oh, who cares what Aggie’s upset about? She’s just a mean old crone anyways.”

  161. Ratiocinator
    August 23rd, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Can a real legal professional here who subjects her- or himself to this strip on a regular basis tell us just how many different grounds for appeal Fleurrie has so far?

    Garfield: If they were going to make fish-flavoured ice cream, that wouldn’t even be the right fish to base it on.

    RMMD: “I mean, shit, can you imagine how screwed up she would’ve been if Rex and I tried raising her ourselves? HAHAHAHA!”

    Slylock: There is something very wrong with that cow. JUST LOOK AT IT!

  162. greghousesgf
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#2): He wasn’t a Hollywood actor but I vote for Howard Cosell. Ironic, since she never talks and Howard was notorious for not shutting up.

  163. Lumaca Morente
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#175): Hilarious AND technically proficient!

  164. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#184): “technically proficient”

    The best kind of proficient!!

  165. Damien
    August 23rd, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: so, by that rationale, grandmas are better at shitting?

  166. Peanut Gallery
    August 23rd, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#80): A ruffled policewoman who could possibly be called karen millen sale outlet rubber?

  167. Droopy Says
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#189): The Dead St. Lisa Memorial run will never be forgotten, alas. The only question is what disaster will befall this year’s participants? Will Coach Bullshit force the football and basketball teams to forfeit their make-or-break games so they can provide the requisite crowd scene? Will Fat Failure Funky provide extra-spicy pizza slices and hot coffee during an unseasonable heat wave? I’m hoping that a sinkhole opens in the course and everyone charges into it, lemminglike, because nothing can be allowed to upset the run’s sacred timetable

  168. Joel Bryan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    A3GIt’s heavily implied here John and Rioko Kishi are divorced and Rioko has move on, but it was a contentious split, hence this embittered, possibly alcoholic, tobacco-addicted Claudia calling herself Tori– an alter-ego as defense mechanism, no doubt. But what of Janine, the genius of the family? Please tell me she escaped and is off guiding some kind of wildly successful tech start-up somewhere warm and inviting!

  169. Dr. Pill
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

  170. Sgt.Stoned
    August 23rd, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: It’s not a dream and the fundamentalists are right: dinosaurs and humans did inhabit the earth at the same time! Oh, wait….I forgot. Rusty isn’t human.

  171. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 24th, 2013 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Once again, the animal nature of Pluggers puts this into strange territory.

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