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Oh, God, he’s going to call these guys “amigos,” isn’t he

Mark Trail, 8/27/13

Welp, Rusty’s dino-dream only lasted a week and he avoided being eaten, so we’re spared any Inception-inspired musings about how if you die in a dream you die in real life or enter some weird limbo state or whatever. Still, I’m a little miffed that Mark is giving credence to his ward’s assertion here. The fevered images that Rusty’s REM sleep recycled from whatever outdated dinosaur books were available at the local library do not provide any kind of scientifically rigorous evidence about what human-dinosaur interaction would have been like! It’d be more accurate for him to say that “it probably is a good thing that humans and the burgeoning proto-sexual anxieties that my subconscious represents as terrifying beasts of yore don’t coexist.” OH WAIT WE HUMANS DO HAVE TO COEXIST WITH THOSE, RUSTY, THANKS A LOT.

Later, Rusty returns to Lost Forest and expresses his pathetic delight at whatever terrible room-temperature pizza Cherry drove an hour to get from an off-brand convenience store at the nearest highway exit. I’m kind of surprised that the pizza isn’t being depicted on panel, though? Just add some pepperoni to a pre-existing pancake drawing and boom, there you go!

Spider-Man, 8/27/13

OK, Spidey, look, we get it, you’ve voyaged to a foreign land where you don’t speak the language, it’s not ideal but lord knows many of us have done it, I certainly have. Also, you’re hanging out with a friend who, in addition to being a native speaker of the local language, is also fluent in your language. You know what bilingual people aren’t really impressed by? Monolingual people picking out occasional words in languages they don’t speak and being super self-satisfied about understanding them! I mean, if your spider-sense can’t protect you from being banged in the back of the head, why should we expect it to protect you from social embarrassment, I guess.

Pluggers, 8/27/13

Today, Pluggers takes a break from blurring the line between dog-men and actual dogs and blurs the line between bird-ladies and actual birds instead.

348 responses to “Oh, God, he’s going to call these guys “amigos,” isn’t he”

  1. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#y400):

    I strongly suspect that “Tip Nunn” is a combination of Tip O’Neill (former House Speaker) and Sam Nunn (former Senator from Georgia).

    I called Gil Thorp’s Neal Rubin to ask if your theory is correct, and he said:

    “Nunn of your damn business!”

  2. Cayuga
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    S-M — Do they really need passwords and countersigns here? Who else would show up at the door dressed like that, other than trick-or-treaters?

  3. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (Y#412): Dragging a child spotted with a stack of doodles in front of a contract must be a regular occurrence here.

    If you dig through Museum Lady’s resume, you will find that this is a pattern with her. On her previous assignment as an elementary school teacher, she was fond of dragging kids into her office, checking out their doodles, and making them sign a contract. Of course, this was before she was fired when a number of students came forward to complain that she had caused them to have trouble with their pants.

    Seriously, though, why do they need an academic achievement clause? Will patrons pick up the book, leaf through it, then whip out their iPad and google the artist? “For $25 a copy, I expected an A student! C’mon, Martha, lets find somewhere that imposes higher standards on their toddler artists!”

    Does 1st Grade even use the A, B, C, D, F scale? Isn’t it more of a “Tries Hard” “Tries Really Hard” “Most Improved Trier” kind of thing?

  4. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    HAMMY THE MORBIDLY OBESE SQUIRREL! also makes a cameo in today’s Pluggers.

  5. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Scruffy beard. A scar on his face. This guy is the traitor.

    Gil Thorp-”And do you know how many of those boys are gay?”

    JP-This is getting ridiculous. Are they actually planning on rescuing this guy themselves?

    RMMD-Who knew that contract negotiating could be so exciting?

    MT-What a thrilling and exciting story. I can’t wait for the one when Rusty dreams about Cherry.

    MT 2-”I love eating your pie, Cherry, but could you shave next time.”

    MW-Of all the resort people that I’ve met off panel you’re the best.

    Sally Forth-”But instead I made you this cheap and simple friendship bracelet.”

  6. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Yes, Rusty, it’s probably a good thing that dinosaurs and humans don’t coexist. I mean after all, the ginormous squirrels are terrifying enough. And so are you.

  7. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Nancy: Nancy Ritz as Wonder Woman is tame compared to Fritzi Ritz as Wonder Woman:

    http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/91/2e/nancy3.jpg?itok=8SpMwlQ-

  8. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Frazz has an inner furry.

    Lio: good news & bad news. *gigglez*

    SBp: /fail at concept.

    Zits: everybody, now!!!

    Bizarro: buh, whut??

    Lockhorns: still a better love story than Twilight!!!

    Mutts: fun with grawlexes!!! (<3)

    RwO: *snurk*

    6Cx: *SNURK!*

  9. pugfuggly
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    MT I strongly suspect that Mark and Cherry have convinced naive Rusty that ‘pizza’ is actually ketchup on cucumber rounds, just like ‘hamburgers’ are wads of SPAM between milquetoast and ‘antibiotics’ are stale tic-tacs. Hey, it’s hard to support a family on a wilderness writer’s salary!

    ASM I’m guessing the ‘spins no web’ part is code for “and I’m here with a clumsy idiot. Please hide the breakables.”

    Pluggers feed their bird-kin as a way of dealing with the guilt of killing countless members of their own tribe in the kitchen.

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .cocaine binging.

  11. Nekrotzar
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    I picked out the Spanish word for spider, and I know that cojo means lame … so you’re talking about me, right?

  12. lorne
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    I just keep thinking the Tarantula is Marc Maron.
    Which makes it awesome.

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    JP – I can only hope that this is being set up as a counter-point to April’s “kill them all and let the President sort them out!” fascism. After all, if two teenage girls can find the ‘terrorists’ using google maps and plan a rescue operation, then what is the need to pick through everyone’s email and phone calls?

  14. Chareth Cutestory
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Today’s strip features two men in skin-tight costumes using passwords to gain entrance into a secret location. Now is about the time to sit and think about what happens next to Spidey in all the different variations along the Multiverse.

  15. Old Folkie
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    JP & RMMD: Which strip has the real scam?

    MT: TMRT at work – a normal-sized deer!

    Luann: OK sure – your hat and glasses stay on after a cannonball?

  16. Ratiocinator
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    JP: “I can hear those gears grinding in your head, Soph! We need to open the access panel in the back of your cranial unit and take care of that, stat!”

    Slylock: “Is that house flooding through its keyhole, or is it just happy to see me?” wonders the plumber.

  17. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    MT – Home made “PIZZA” in the Trail cabin means a personal size or jumbo size pancake topped off with cheese, pepperoni and mushrooms…a very special type of mushroom that Doc’s been growing in his basement laboratory, as evidenced by Rusty’s dreams he’s been having lately.

  18. KreatureFeatures
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Today we see the moment just before Jeffy’s infuriating dimwittedness prompts Grandpa to draw back his foot, and kick his grandson through the uprights.

  19. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    9CL – I’d pick on Fleurry’s ongoing struggle with being an asshole to everyone around her, except that I can understand why she would be feeling pissy that, even when she is on trial for a case that has nothing to do with Edda, Edda still managed to make herself the center of attention for three weeks.

    And she still isn’t wearing the short skirt that was going to be the key to her defense. Or maybe she is wearing it under there but hasn’t been able to show her legs because she is having a problem with her pants?

  20. aphthakid
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    S-M: The best way to keep your rebel hideout secret is by having brightly costumed superheroes stroll up to the door in broad daylight. It’s like if Osama Bin Laden routinely walked around the neighborhood wearing a green and purple spandex bodysuit.

    Pluggers: Afterward, Mrs Plugger poured herself a big bowl of that bird seed.

  21. pugfuggly
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    A3G You can take the man out of the army but not the army out of the man, which explains why Cole is receiving calls on his vietnam-era backpack radio.

    B1/2 No, you’re called ‘baby boomers’ because of the cohort you’re in. The one that got the jobs and the security and the benefits so you can sit around in your ‘old geezer’ age tut-tutting about the kids these days.

    C’shaft Mary Marzipan: sweet, nutty and a bit sickening. It’ll be fun watching Westview break you…

    Crock is either trying out Heathcliff-brand absurdness, or is doing a tribute to Miley Cyrus’ MTV-MVA performance.

    MW “Shannon, I’ll write a letter to one of the resort administrators. I’ll even send them one of these tiny novelty cactuses. Look, it’s so light you can balance it on your the tip of your fingers!”

  22. Joshua
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    SM: Apparently Spider-Man has forgotten that his name contains the word “spider”.

  23. Ratiocinator
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#19): I like how you worked that last part in there; I wasn’t expecting it today. XD

  24. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Mutts: Right Rev.s Pasdordan and Scudder, please take note.

  25. ScienceGiant
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Well, it’s sort of password. “A spider who spins no web” is also a folk expression. I believe you Americans describe it as a “couch potato”.

  26. Buck Ripsnort
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Bird-Lady is dining al fresco tonight, but shouldn’t she just regurgitate something for her little bird-friends?

  27. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#4): HAMMY THE MORBIDLY OBESE SQUIRREL! also makes a cameo in today’s Pluggers.

    Sad to see him so out of shape. No doubt he has trouble with his pants these days. Has to shop at Casual Squirrel.

  28. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#23): I wasn’t expecting it today.

    It looks like you picked the wrong day to stop having that problem with your pants!

  29. Chip
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    What if the visitor to the safe house is NOT Tarantula?

    I think the password is the secret nok! “Shave and a haircut, two bits!”

  30. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#27):

    He could use the tailor from Mark Trail, he is used to big and tall squirrels who have problems with their pants.

  31. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#11): If ‘cojo’ means ‘lame’ in the sense of pathetic, now I know what the St. Bernard in that Stephen King novel was so ticked off about.

  32. Brett
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    MT: I am thoroughly disappointed that a Mark Trail dream sequence ends without Mark unleashing the fists of fury on a T-Rex.

  33. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#28): heh, heh, but it’s time to let it go, boys.

  34. Bunivasal
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    I feel like we’re witnessing the Shoe-verse version of a bank robbery. In lieu of a bag with dollar signs on it, the obese criminal sports one reading “birdseed”

  35. Tom Allen
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    So the Pluggers chicken lady owns a cat (“Tabby”). And not only that, she keeps the cat’s food dish next to the bird feeder? That’s … that’s all sorts of messed up right there.

  36. Holly Folly
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    So according to the magic of reused Mark Trail plot lines, he is going to have to fight some dinosaur poachers now, right?

  37. Irrischano
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    “Boy, I sure LOVE pizza! So how about we order some, instead of eating this possum casserole? For real, I know Papa John’s is three hours away but it will be worth the wait.”

  38. Missal
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    ASM: And, of course, bilingual foreigners (i.e., non-Americans) always use the word “American” in front of everything, because Americans are not only monolingual, we don’t even know what nationality our crap is.

    “Hola, Tarantula’s American friend! Did you see today’s episode of that American comic strip “Mark Trail”? We really thought that American boy would finally die in that American forest, but instead he’s safe at home eating American pizza! Maybe next time, eh? Anyway, we just downloaded the new episode of your American ‘Breaking Bad’ from your American Internet. Want to watch?”

  39. Oregonian
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    S-M: “I know ‘arana’ means ‘spider’ in Spanish, but what does ‘nok nok-nok nok’ mean?”

  40. Digger
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    MT: As Rusty devours his “pizza” Mark is scribbling in his notebook “drugs only gave Rusty insane dreams. Next time, use stronger dosage.”

  41. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis, Heathcliff: were there ever to be a crossover, it should be Ludwig and Heathcliff down at the pool hall (do those even exist any more? I’m not even sure the local bars have pool tables any more, now that I think about it)

  42. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: Well, that explains the problem with Grampy’s pants. We can be grateful that John Rose decided to tell, and not show.

  43. Chyron HR
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Tarantula: “A spider who spins no web, and also a spider who doesn’t do much of anything.”

    Spidey: Oh, I recognize THAT word! Our housekeeper says it all the time.

  44. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#33): I sometimes have trouble letting it go with my pants.

  45. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    JP/Rex, MD & FW/Crankshaft: staking out the dramatic range of the comics page, from the “boobs deluxe and bucks to boot” of the Woody Wilson epics to the “life is a living hell that either happens to you – or you make someone else’s life that way” of Tom Batiuk’s anti-epics.

    ’9CL’ tries to put all of that into one strip, but McE’s just too much into legs

  46. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#42):

    Ice cubes may work well in Grampy’s pants but they don’t work well in bellbottoms.

  47. wossname
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Maybe I worry too much” ranks right up there with “What could go wrong?” and “Let’s go explore the old haunted house” on the foreshadowing scale.

  48. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    SPIDERMAN – Since it’s to do with spiders that password was way too easy! I thought for sure the password would be something more clever, like BONEFISH!

  49. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MT – PIZZA?! Pizza being served at the Trail’s? No way! Apparently Rusty is still dreaming!

  50. Doctor Handsome
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Here’s the rare situation where Peter’s ignorance actually mitigates his incompetence a bit. If he could communicate in Spanish, ALL the bystanders would catch his “THIS IS YOUR REBEL GROUP’S SECRET HIDEOUT, HUH?” exposition, instead of just the ones who know some English.

  51. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#48): “bonehead” comes to mind when thinking of Spiderman

  52. aphthakid
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#41): If we’re talking crossovers, I want to see a Shoe, Pluggers, Shylock Fox crossover.

  53. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Cool squirrel in Pluggers!

    And while I’m going to really miss the dino-story, Mary’s Pax Adventure (at least the part with Shannon getting the axe)? Not so much.
    If ONLY! there were a way to finish at least that one off…
    (I’m not even going to attempt dealing with 9CL — that is a lost cause.)

  54. Francis Hobbs (Somewhere on Brokeass Mountain!)
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#1):

    I made the mistake of asking Rod “Tarantula” Whigham about Huck’s theory in person. He started yelling Costa Verde Libertad! and kicking me in the posterior with his steel-tipped boots. Then he broke a bottle of Blue Nun over my head.

    It’s the last thing I remember before I woke up in the hospital.

  55. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @aphthakid (#52): a shoe, Pluggers and Sly Fox crossover.

    Well, at least that would be bearable to look at than a shoe, Pluggers and Slylock Fox crossdresser!

  56. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#45): ’9CL’ tries to put all of that into one strip, but McE’s just too much into legs

    That is probably due to the problem he is having with …. NO! LET IT GO, CCB, LET IT GO!

    I’m jonesing for the new daily meme! How about “That’s the first DON’T!” from Gunther in Luann? Or is the first Don’t that you Don’t try to force a daily meme, it has to come naturally. Like I did when I had that problem in my … Damn! Cold turkey is rough, especially if you eat it when trying to let go of yesterday’s meme.

  57. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#44): Ay yi yi.

  58. FleaBailey
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#39):

    I was wondering that myself. I figured it was either “Knock, knock-knock, knock” in Spanish, or secret code for “Knock, knock-knock, knock.”

  59. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#53): Beautiful!

  60. Doctor Handsome
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Obviously, Rusty has no first-hand experience of what dinosaurs were actually like, but he’s really buit them up in his imagination. Much like pizza, and fishing.

  61. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#19): You know what has been nagging at me for ever since this trial started? Since when do trials get underway that quickly? I mean, yes, speedy trial and all that, but this was like the next day. More evidence of (a) dream sequence (b) BMcE’s incompetent research-and-story-telling skills or (c) both?

  62. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @Francis Hobbs (Somewhere on Brokeass Mountain!) (#54):

    Sounds like that must have happened during happy hour in the Bonefish Grill across the street from the Costa Verde safehouse.

  63. Fred C. Dobbs
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Francis Hobbs (Somewhere on Brokeass Mountain!) (#54): This is Dobbs, Hobbs. Could you help out a fellow American who’s down on his luck?

  64. Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail/Josh: Based, sadly, on my own childhood living in the sticks, Cherry didn’t drive to a convenience store to pick up a pizza. She made her own using one of those gawd awful Chef Boy Ardee mixes, complete with tube of tomato paste and packet of articificial mozzerella cheese sprinkes.

  65. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#61): re: 9CL

    Yes, we skipped the whole pre-trial investigation/disclosure phase, which is where we should have developed the storyline that the cow was being abused, and had Fleurry and her lawyer gather evidence to that effect. They would also, presumably, have been notified that the prosecution intended to call Edda to the stand in order to testify to some nonsense that had nothing to do with the case, and had the opportunity to object.

    Instead, we spend a few weeks discussing how naked Fleurry will have to be. I’d say that this is typical 9CL, except that we seem to have forgotten that part and just kept her in the long-sleeved turtleneck and black slacks. Yes, that means I have a problem with her pants! There, I said it!

  66. els
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    *sigh* Yes, Spider-Man, two people talking to each other in a language that isn’t English could only be speaking in code. Spanish is a cipher, clearly made up by a bunch of sombreroed (that’s code for “hat-wearing”), mustachioed tequila-drinkers puffing cigars and saying, “Hey, I know how to confuse those gringos. Let’s call ‘water’ agua. They’ll never see it coming!” Because Latin America, amirite?!

  67. bbofun
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    PIGPORN- So Brooke’s redisributing lines now. Hmph. And honestly for no good reason- these lines are meant to end the scene, but he effectively did that already with two days of silent panels. And “the county stays” is a line he should have cut, as its meaning (the count is waiting) is terribly unclear to most modern eyes and ears, and really doesn’t work in this 1920′s setting.

    RMMD- So, yesterday, museum-lady said this was their “standard publishing contract-” which apparently has penalties for authors who don’t maintain their grades? How many children does this museum have writing book for them?

    Is this a real thing? Are children being suckered into onerous contracts with museums across the country? Because, if not, this is not only ludicrous, it’s a pretty wretched thing to suggest. Museums are having enough problems keeping funding- they don’t need comic strips attacking them for no good reason.

    LUANN- Was Tiffany invited to this party? Because I find it hard to believe Evans wouldn’t be lovingly drawing her undoubtedly scandalous swimsuit into every panel.

  68. Mustang
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    MT – Fishing trips? One-on-one chats about things you are interested in? Pizza? Watch your back my little friend. I think Mark and Cherry have noticed that you exist, and it won’t be long before they decide to do something about it.

  69. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Josh: Spiderman laughs at social embarrassment! Which lets us laugh at Spiderman! I consider this win-win situation…

  70. Esther Blodgett
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MT: In the Lost Forest when you “pick up a pizza,” it refers to scraping up roadkill. Rusty loves it when the possum eyeballs stare up at him while he’s eating.

    JP: Not that I notice these things, but have Sophie’s breasts deflated since her cheerleader storyline?

    Pluggers: I applaud the creepy Island of Dr. Moreau underpinnings here. I’m sure that’s what was intended, right?

  71. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Is it possible that this whole “book contract” thing is just a scam whereby museum lady hopes to get cash out of the Morgans by means of a punitive contract?

  72. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MT: What a waste of a story arc. They didn’t even bother to break out the pancakes for it.

    Pluggers are busy training their avian army to obey their every whim.

    SM:Pendejo does mean friend in Spanish, right?”

    Is “The Spider and the Fly” really that well known outside of English-speaking countries? Seems odd that they would make that reference…..

  73. Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail was given to a test group of those who suffer from anxiety. The resulting boredom was found to lower anxiety levels 42%. Mark Trail: saving lives the old fashion way.

  74. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

  75. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @Missal (#38): When speaking Spanish, Latin Americans normally refer to citizens of the USA as “norteamericanos.” The way they see it, living on the American continents makes them Americans as well. The one exception to this rule is of course Spiderman, but I can’t think of the Spanish words for brain-dead asshole.

  76. cheech wizard
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT – But monsters still walk the earth, don’t they Rusty? Monsters still walk the earth.

    JP – So the Driver women are scheming how to locate this army of mercenaries and track them to their jungle lair? Looks like everyone’s going to make it to the wedding after all.

  77. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    I’m a little late to the party this morning. I had some trouble with my pants.
    Have I missed anything?

  78. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Lio-I love Zombie Days. The only bad part is making up for the lost school days.

    MT-”I love how much a pizza can look like a pancake since they are both flat and round.”

    MT 2-”I mean could you imagine all the shenanigans a person could get into with dinosaurs and all the ways that dinosaurs could be used into of using actual machines.”

  79. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#71): Re: RMMD

    I sometimes wonder if it is intentional that Wilson always hints at the possibility of a more interesting story before reverting to the usual “all my protagonists are perfect, especially the child prodigies” nonsense. The book deal sure sounds shady and nonsensical, but I fear it is all to set up an “How will Sarah handle the pressure? PERFECTLY! There is not a single ounce of self-doubt or self-awareness in her body!” angle. The kidnapping in JP sure sounds like a scam (as with the promise to repay Neddy x2 her investment as soon as the UN comes through with the cash), but I fear it is all to set up an “How will Sophie and Neddy free the hostage? By directing Seal Team 9 using Google maps and their iPhones, of course!” angle.

  80. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I’m not American. I’m Canadian. Who says I’m American?”

    MW-And without her ‘friends’ Mary can’t go to Aggie to change her mind.

    Zippy-This would be hell for Baka.

  81. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Somewhen near the end of the Mesozoic, a tyrannosaur wakes in a cold sweat. He looks around, heaves a sigh of relief, then sees an asteroid grow ever brighter in the evening sky. He realizes that in his last moments he has been vouchsafed a glimpse of the distant future. He could face extinction with equanimity if it were not for the furry little egg-stealers skulking near his feet. These are the creatures whose descendants will inherit the world? The land shall be ruled by hideous, scaleless dwarves who cannot even properly flee for their lives? As the asteroid enters the atmosphere, the tyrannosaur consoles himself with the thought that he represents the zenith of evolution and it’s all downhill from here.

  82. NoahSnark
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Leave it to Spider-Man to demonstrate his tenuous grasp on Spanish when everyone else is speaking English enclosed in angle brackets.

  83. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#56): I’m jonesing for the new daily meme!

    Me too. I have the same problem with my pants, though.

    // Ouch! My spleen! Hey, no hitting!

  84. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    9CL: I’m guessing he got his legal degree from the same place Brooke did his research for this strip.

    A3G: All right, stop. This arc is too crowded. You need to drop one of the following: the lecherous governor, the PTSD, the brain tumor, or the wayward daughter.

    C’shaft: Hey, a happy, sweet woman who genuinely loves working with children! Let’s crush her spirit!

    FW: Great, because what better way to follow up all the abuse you’ve been heaping on your students than with “Oh by the way, you have to pay us to keep doing this”?

    Luann: Who put them in charge? Also, why is Gunther wearing the skirt to a naughty schoolgirl outfit?

    MW: Oooh, Mary’s getting ambitious! She’s taking this meddle all the way to the management!

    Pibgorn: As noted above, that second line is supposed to go to the Nurse, and I’ve always found the contrast rather telling–Juliet’s mom is all “come on kid, chop-chop, this marriage ain’t gonna arrange itself,” while the Nurse in effect says “go on out there and have fun, fall in love and be happy.” Needless to say, that’s lost here. Also, if Juliet and Romeo are already making eyes at each other it lessens the effect of his “O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!” speech later on. But hey, what did Shakespeare know?

  85. Gary
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers may have blurred the lines between bird-ladies and actual birds, but for health’s sake bird ladie Plugger ought to return to a regular diet of bird seed herself. Did you see the size of her legs?

  86. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#74): You have a heck of a nerve using my Wonder Woman picture.
    //Hey, it was band camp…

  87. Stroker Ace
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Dammit! Now I’ve got the Goofy/Pluto thing in my head!

  88. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#80): “Spiderman-”I’m not American. I’m Canadian. Who says I’m American?”
    //Well, that would explain a lot. Like his mellow attitude as the brick slooooowly arcs toward his noggin.

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @els (#66): Lorem puto non modo turpe est, quae Latine loqui Latine, quemadmodum ceteri?

  90. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89): Fortasse res cum bracis suis habebunt.

  91. Odie Odo
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#75):

    “…I can’t think of the Spanish words for brain-dead asshole.”

    idiota con muerte cerebral

  92. some short guy with weird hair
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#80): *tap on shoulder*

    “gotta problem with Canadians, bub?”

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#72): Is “The Spider and the Fly” really that well known outside of English-speaking countries?

    See how diabolically clever the revolutionaries are? The secret police will NEVER figure that out!

  94. greghousesgf
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    are Grampy and that other guy hanging out with Snuffy twins?

  95. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex and June will soon be getting to the part of the contract where the parents have to front the money for production.

    //Dang! What’s with these pants?

  96. Senor Larry of Laredo
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#39):

    “S-M: “I know ‘arana’ means ‘spider’ in Spanish, but what does ‘nok nok-nok nok’ mean?” ”

    Eet ees de sound El Curly makes at El Moe jooost before El Moe does El Kabong on nut of El Curly.

  97. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#81): hey, it was a good 225 million year run, Rex!

    @TheDiva (#84): re A3G: tomorrow Tommie returns, with a simply brilliant idea of cheering up hospitalized children with Show Tunes!

  98. Shrug, Working on His Bad Slice
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#49):

    The Lost Forest Domino’s is the only pizza shop in the world to not only offer “pancakes” as a topping, but to have it outsell all other toppings.

    “Hello, we’d like to order delivery of a pancake pizza with everything, but hold the sausage, pepperoni, ham, bacon, Canadian bacon, black olives, green olives, mushrooms, green peppers, anchovies, and cheese please. Also we’d like double extra pancake on it, on the deep-dish pancaky crust. Oh, and a side order of Crazy Pancake Breadsticks.”

  99. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Knute: Hey, Rosa is all wet!
    Gunther: “I have the same problem with my pants!”

    /I gotta get some new material here…
    (Heh, material…pants…get it? Crap!)

  100. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#74): There’s a picture of “Mary Worth as Wonder Woman” by Joe Giella floating around somewhere. And Guy Gilchrist has drawn both Nancy and Aunt Fritzi as the Amazing Amazon.

    Considering that he’s already wearing women’s culottes in Luann, it must be Gunther’s turn to dress up as Wonder Woman.

  101. Shrug, Dodging Shards
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Francis Hobbs (Somewhere on Brokeass Mountain!) (#54):

    “Then he broke a bottle of Blue Nun over my head.”

    I have the same trouble with my pints.

  102. SurrealKangaroo
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: At least they are different kinds of birds. It is just as bad as us feeding squirrels.

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#95): What’s with these pants?

    Try putting a bag of ice down the front. It works for Grampy!

    // And really impresses the ladies!

  104. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: “Also, if’n I happens to piss m’self, I kin jest tell folks it’s th’ ice cubes meltin’! It’s a durn sight cheaper n’ buyin’ them adult diapers they sell down to th’ general store!”

  105. Shrug, or as Others Might Say, Tisvh
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @els (#66):

    There is an apallingly bad late 19th century sf novel, THE GODDESS OF ATVATABAR, in which our protagonists have little trouble communicating with the aliens (center of the earth dwellers) when they discover the alien language JUST HAPPENS to be a simple letter substition code version of English.

    //// JUST HAPPENS. Beacuse of The Reasons.

    **********

    http://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/008967329 (pp. 58-59)

    WE LEARN ATVATABARESE

    Professor Goldrock, besides being a naturalist, was an adept
    in language. He stated that our captive appeared to be either
    a soldier or courier or coast-guard of his country, which was
    evidently indicated by the last word, Atvatabar. ” Let us take for
    granted,” said he, “that ‘Plothoy’ is his name and ‘Atvatabar’
    his country. We have left the two words ‘wayleal ar.’ Now
    the pronunciation and grouping of the letters leads me to
    think that the words resemble the English language more
    nearly than any other tongue. The word ‘wayleal’ has the
    same number of letters as ‘soldier’ and ‘courier,’ and I note
    that the fourth and last letters are identical in both ‘courier’
    and ‘wayleal.’ On the supposition that both words are identi-
    cal we might compare them thus:

    c is w
    i is e
    o ” a
    e ” i or a
    u ” y
    r ” 1
    r ” 1

    The word ‘wayleil’ or ‘wayleal’ means to us leal or strong—
    by the wav, a very good name for a soldier.”
    At this moment our mysterious friend yelled out:
    “Plothoy, wayleal ar Atvatabar, em Bilbimtesirol!”
    ” Kape quiet, me boy,” said Flathootly, “and we’ll soon find
    out all about you.”
    “Rather let him talk away,” said the professor, “and we’ll
    find out who he is much quicker. You see he has given us two
    new words this time, the words’em Bilbimtesirol.’ Now an
    idea strikes me—let us transpose the biggest word thus:
    (snip)
    Here we have the word ‘perpendicular.’ What does ‘Bil-
    bimtesirol’ as ‘perpendicular’ mean? It may mean that the
    interior planet is lit by a perpendicular sun, and that we are
    in a land of perpendicular light and shadow. See how the
    shadow of every man surrounds his boots! Now, granting
    ‘wayleal’ means ‘courier’ and ‘Bilbimtesirol’ ‘perpendicular,’
    we have a clue to the language of Atvatabar. It seems to
    me to be a miraculous transposition of the English language
    thus:

    a is O

    n is m

    (snip)

    According to this transposition our friend means, ‘Plothoy
    courier of Atvatabar, in Bilbimtesirol.’ Let us see if we can
    so understand him.” So saying, the professor approached and
    said:
    ” Ec wayl moni Plothoy?” (Is your name Plothoy?)
    ” Wic eel, ni moni ec Plothoy” (Yes, sir, my name is Plo-
    thoy), promptly replied the stranger.
    ” Good!” said the professor; ” that’s glorious! We understand
    each other now.”
    I congratulated the professor on his brilliant discovery.
    It was magnificent! We could now converse with our prisoner
    on any subject we desired.
    We had the key in our hands that would unlock the wonders
    of Plutusia, or rather Bilbimtesirol, the interior world.

  106. Lady
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#103): Hey, is that a bag of ice in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?

  107. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#74): cosplay fail. So, I get that the guy is supposed to be George Lucas. Who’s the girl supposed to be?

  108. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    PLUGGERS — Since the squirrel can easily hop onto those feeders, it appears the only bias in this yard is against raccoons. And I’m not sure that guard is big enough to stop them anyway.

  109. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    S-M: In the first panel, the ribbons are mostly out of sight and behaving in a fairly rational hang-down manner. But look at the second panel — there they go again, flying off to the right for no reason. I hate those ribbons. As for how Spidey and The Tarantula might smell at this point in the tropical heat, good luck, you folks in that room.

  110. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, or as Others Might Say, Tisvh (#105): But isn’t it kind of fun picturing the look of controlled glee on the face of the author as he/she works that out:-)?

  111. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#107): his sister?

    *insert Lannister joke here*

  112. Not Just any Dipstick
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Lets stop blaming the problem on the pants, and admit the problem is IN the pants. Not mine of course, just yours.

  113. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    LUANN: I hope the homeowners have a good umbrella policy. Also, why is Gunther standing there? It’s not his house or his pool, and I’m sure Rosa can read without his help, and he sure doesn’t add to the scenic splendor.

  114. Not Just any Dipstick
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Note the ‘Tabby’ bowl. Pluggers feed their cats by luring birds to the yard.

  115. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers name their Maine Coon cat “Tabby.”

  116. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, or as Others Might Say, Tisvh (#105): I like that book! It is, as it says on the title page, profusely illustrated. Now that is a fine young goddess there. A full-hipped beauty, a kind of proto-Frazetta, such as you seldom see in literature anymore. I imagine she bounces jauntily!

    // Ooh, I seem to have some kind of problem with my pants!

  117. Midtown
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#84): re Luann: “Who put them in charge?” Rosa is reading the rules because the pool party is held at the home of her fabulously wealthy Latino family. (Her father is obviously a drug kingpin.) “No boys in skirts/skorts” is NOT one of the rules.

  118. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#116): I cannot approve of her choice of headgear, Reverend.

    // Though I fear you didn’t look at anything higher than her necklace.

  119. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#111): See, since I don’t watch/read Game of Thrones I was going to have to go straight to the Joe Dirt joke.

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon (#118): Not at all! And there’s nothing wrong with wearing pottery on one’s head. It’s so darn comfortable. I predict, someday, everyone will.

  121. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#84): Also, why is Gunther wearing the skirt to a naughty schoolgirl outfit?

    That was one of the rules. Gunther is going to be learning lots of new rules. Did we forget to mention that Rosa is a Domme?

  122. Cloudbuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): You be careful. People wearing pottery on their heads cannot be trusted.

  123. Northern lurker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    ASM: do Spanish speaking people tell nok, nok jokes?

  124. Victory Garden
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Luann: I thought Rosa was cool, dammit. Now it seems like she’s just as uptight as her boyfriend there. Meanwhile, Tiffany and some young thing are enjoying the jets in the hot tub.

  125. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Working on His Bad Slice (#98):

    Yes, and I’ll have a large pancake calzone with that order, please.

  126. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    “Hey, I’m having trouble…..”

    “In your pants!”

    “Will someone please tell Geoff Peterson to clam up?!”

    “Sorry. Just being nostalgic for back when I was pre-recorded. Also for before that stupid horse is always upstaging me upstaging Craig!”

    “Will you–?”

    “Oh, and is ‘clam up’ anything like ‘clam down’?” (bringing this back to comics again)

  127. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): I thought that was the papal Triple Tiara.

  128. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Loretta knows her husband is already on “Team Edward.” So suggesting that Leroy defect to “Team Jacob” is nothing short of treasonous.

  129. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    GT He was tagged “Tip Nunn” when the guys in the locker room saw he was the only one who was circumcised.

  130. geogreg
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#81):

    I’m going to nominate that for COTW (if I have such authority).

  131. Shrug, Holy Indefensible
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#127):

    I’m having the same trouble with my pontiffs.

  132. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    FC That’s funny because Grandpa Carne hasn’t spoken a word since the brood arrived. He’s even quieter than Grandpa Keane.
    I think he knew it was best to turn down the volume on his hearing aid when the grandkids showed up.

  133. Ken Beegle
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Bird Lady’s backyard feeder is suspiciously close to “Tabby’s” bowl. Dominance over a cat and using her half-human powers against her close, yet distant, avian cousins provide the only joy in her genetically tortured life.

  134. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Hey, don’t bring us into this furshlugginer travesty!” – MAD

    FW: Oh, we’re back to THAT again! (“pay-for-play” is the new cancer)

    MT: Rusty, reflecting the above comments, continues: “…it’s like pancakes, but with stuff on it!”

  135. Écureuil Écumant
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: In Pluggers, there’s always something to feed…

  136. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    A3G “Tori just likes to play the tough girl.”
    I think LuAnn just identified Tori as the butch one in the relationship.

  137. Costa Verde Comedian
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    “Nok-Nok!”
    “Who’s there?”
    “The American Spider!”
    “Yeah, and I’m the Spanish Fly!”
    “I have the same problem with my Spandex tights.”

  138. terrapin
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    MT: “Boy! I sure LOVE pizza! But what is this Topping? And why does Cherry keep calling it Oscarroni?”

    Pluggers: When plugger chicken people retire they never cook again.

    Love is… getting so baked you can’t see your toes.

  139. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    FW Great. Bull makes this “arrangement” without asking anyone squat, including Becky, the band director. She should rip his arm off.

  140. AhClem
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    MT – “Oh boy, Mark! My favorite kind of pizza: cheese, pepperoni, sausage, mushroom, otter entrails and … wait. What?”

  141. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#134): : “…it’s like pancakes, but with stuff on it!”

    What a coincidence! I often put stuff on my pancakes. Syrup, butter, blueberrys, etc..

  142. geogreg
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff:

    1) Heathcliff’s prisoner-father is named “Pops”. Did they name him this before Heathcliff’s birth? Or did they change the name once he began filling the town with his spawn? If so, what was his birth name?

    2) Yet again we require a human to explain Heathcliff’s behavior (and Pops’) to another human. In this case, the often-observed behavior of a cat playing with its food has been extrapolated to a game of kibble ping-pong. But couldn’t we have a caption that’s just not a straightforward statement? How about “They don’t have to like the food, but I wish they were more subtle”? Or “At least they aren’t playing kibble hockey”? Something at least approaching Fred Basset levels of humor. Of course, the universal New Yorker caption, slightly modified to “Christ, what a pair of assholes,” works here, too.

  143. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#121): LUANN Did we forget to mention that Rosa is a Domme?

    While at first glance this makes sense, I just can’t imagine that dominating Gunther would really be much of a thrill. It’s like knocking Spider-Man out with a rock, or meddling down at the mental ward. Where is the challenge, the taste of the forbidden?

    “Alright, slave, I want you to shut up and get down on your knees! Where did you go?”
    “I’m already cowering in the fetal position under the bed.”
    “Ok. Um. GOOD! Now, I want you to ….”
    “Already did, can’t you see the yellow stream trickling into the carpet.”
    “OK. GOOD! Now, next thing is you need to … Ah, heck, what is the point?”
    “Are we done then? Because this apparatus is really causing me to have trouble with my pants!”

  144. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#129): “Tip Nunn” is what the servers at Olive Garden call a Canadian who doesn’t leave a tip.

  145. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Heard in an upcoming scene from 9 Chickweed Lane:

    “I’m having some truffles with my pants.”

    (I don’t care to imagine who says it…)

  146. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#141): Rusty adds, “With OTHER stuff on it!”

  147. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: In some strips it might be considered symbolism that Cole’s telephone grows significantly larger while he’s talking to Lu Ann, but in A3G it’s just age.

  148. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#146): ….Truffles, possibly?

  149. terrapin
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

  150. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    FW – Lefty looks even more like a pubescent boy than usual in today’s strip. I’ll bet she wanted to reward her husband for all the time she spent away from him while she was at band camp.

  151. Apartment 3 G is for Loers
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Missal (#38):

    Of course people from Latin American countries always add the word “American” to things from the States. The same way that people in France always add the word “European” to things from Italy, but from no other European country!

    Given that Spider-man is, well, Spider-man, it’s much more likely that he’ll get into the whole “But I’m American!” “Um… so are all of us. What continent do you think we’re in?” thing. (Apologies if Costa Verde is, in fact, supposed to be a thickly-veiled surprisingly jungly Franco-era Spain.)

  152. Ethan Shuster
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure there’s really cause for confusion in these pluggers and animals comics. It’s the same explanation for why Goofy and Pluto can coexist. These bird and dog pets in Pluggers are simply lower on the ladder of evolution then the now human-like plugger species. A dog-man having a pet dog is the same thing as a human having a pet monkey.

  153. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Seeing the pizza and believing it to be a pancake, Mark will tell Rusty that Cherry puts ketchup on inappropriate things.

  154. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: I don’t know why, but seeing the name “Sherry” spelled “Cherry” but pronounced “Sherry” just makes me cringe.

    MW: They will keep your jaw from falling off too.

  155. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Alfred E. Neuman, upon hearing about where Thorax got his law degree:

    “I’m having trouble with my potrzebie!”

    Which Edda misconstrues as actual (if inaccurate) use of the Polish language, thus thinking Alfred has trouble with his needs — then takes credit for it.

  156. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Marth, you’re the greatest.

    Marmaduke-Seriously you should pet him. You’re life depends on it.

    Zippy the Pinhead-A clown themed hotel seems like the place to go to die. It’s either the place you would commit suicide in or it’s the place you would murder someone in. Just something about all those clowns.

  157. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Apartment 3 G is for Loers (#151): surprisingly jungly

    Come to think of it, I don’t recall seeing any jungle yet. Just the airport, and backstreets. Did I blink?

  158. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    This thread is produced by WORLDWIDE PANTS.

  159. AhClem
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#76):

    JP – So the Driver women are scheming how to locate this army of mercenaries and track them to their jungle lair? Looks like everyone’s going to make it to the wedding after all.

    They all want to join the Jungle Patrol!

  160. Midtown
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: A “hello kitty” reference pops up – again! First it was Kenosha, now Hello Kitty! There’s something sinister behind all this…

    Pluggers: When did Henrietta “retire” from the kitchen? Did she finally see the horror of baking up her sisters for her carnivorous dog-husband?

  161. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Tom, the Sailor Man (#99):

    And sadly Gunther wouldn’t know what to do if he was told that Rosa was wet. He would probably hand her a towel.

  162. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Cyrus Durand Chapman (1856-1919), illustrator of shapely goddesses, was a pupil of the French artist, Benjamin Constant. You can see the influence. Chapman was also known for his sentimental patriotic posters featuring little blonde boys and girls in sailor suits waving American flags. I like his goddesses better. His stuff seems to go at auction for anywhere from a couple of hundred, to just under a thousand dollars.

    // Why? Because you needed to know, that’s why. For insurance purposes, as Antiques Roadshow would put it, in case you find a Chapman in your attic.

  163. Joe Blevins
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark’s not even listening. “Indeed, Rusty… indeed!” is just the generic response he has cued up whenever the hideous demon-child starts to speak. “Can I bring this plugged-in toaster in the bathtub with me, Mark?” “Indeed, Rusty… indeed!” “What lies beyond this world, Mark? Is it just a blank, formless void, an inescapable vortex where our screams go unhead for all eternity?” “Indeed, Rusty… indeed!” Meanwhile, Mark’s thinking about beige shirts or tree sap or something like that.

  164. The Ridger
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Barney and Clyde: Argh. Although they are correct that vultures have a keen sense of smell, that is true of turkey vultures. What they have drawn there – oddly for a supposedly Washington DC-based strip – is most assuredly not that, but resembles an Andean condor. Which (like almost all birds) doesn’t have a sense of smell.

    I wish American cartoonists would stop drawing vultures with that little white ruff.

  165. billman
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#162):

    I feel you might enjoy this silhouette.

  166. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”But what does mean?”

  167. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#165): Well, that couple will be The Lockhorns in a matter of weeks!

  168. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#162): … in case you find a Chapman in your attic.

    I found a Chapman in my pants!

  169. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Tom, the Sailor Man (#168):

    I found a Chapman in my pants!

    That could be a problem.

  170. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#166):

    I had the middle part of the sentence in this < and the computer got rid of it.

    Spiderman-"What does 'Can you believe that I had to save the hero who came to save us' means?"

  171. sporknpork
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    So Henrietta has a sex slave named Tabby, who she humiliates in public by eating out of a bowl in the yard on all fours, like the filthy animal they both are.

  172. Mikey
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    ASM-” Cool place Tarantula! Wow! Neat basement! Tarantula, What’s mordaza da bola mean? Tarantula?”

  173. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I’ll make them offers they can’t refuse.”

    FW-What does pay to play mean?

  174. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark was outvoted on tonight’s dinner, but at least the standard “flat and round” parameters were maintained.

  175. Mikey
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    MT- dig in Rusty! It’s the LoFo Meat lover from ‘Bassie’s and Big Mike’s”! No questions! ….just dig in…. Mmmmm….

  176. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Funk the Stupid Bean: Hey. Waitaminit. Band Turkeys. There’s always Band Turkeys you Funkyverse clods!!

  177. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Tom, the Sailor Man (#168): I found a Chapman in my pants!

    Was it a Homer? You may want to look into it.

    // Oft have I wandered in realms of pants…

  178. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    So this “fishing” thing: Mark goes looking for otter traps. Rusty falls asleep and dreams of dinosaurs. Mark returns and wakes Rusty. Then they pack their gear and go home for pizza. I’m glad no fish were harmed in the making of this comic.

  179. Lumaca Morente
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#153): For the win! Ketchup on pancakes and troubles with pants, these are a few of my favorite memes…

  180. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#173): FW-What does pay to play mean?

    It means that the parents of the students who actually participate in the extracurricular activities pay the costs, rather than having them be deducted from the general school budget , freeing that money to be spent on things like math and science.

  181. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#180): Often the school will pick up at least part of the cost, and of course, school facilities and materials are used. And booster clubs may contribute as well (for instance, if there’s a talented player, and his or her parents are impecunious).

    // I have the same problem with my pants. No money in the pockets.

  182. Dan
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Man, you can almost hear the resigned exasperation in that third panel. “Enter, Tarantula — *sigh* — with your American friend.”

  183. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#181): It hardly seems fair that parents who don’t use math or science should have to pay for those programs!

  184. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#180): So the students in the marching band have to purchase their own uniforms? Can Owen buy one that has ear flaps on the hat?

  185. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#183):

    Well, they do. The ones who don’t use math help pay for the programs anyway via their purchase of lottery tickets.

  186. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    MW I have to say I’m rather disappointed with where this story is headed. I was hoping for a little crime. Well, okay, a big crime. Murder and intrigue. But all Aggie can come up with is a customer complaint? Sheesh!
    So, I guess it’s up to Mary and Shannon now. Mary has some experience with “problem people.”
    They’ll need a good alibi to start.

  187. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#169): What if you find Chapstik in your pants?

  188. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#170):
    I have the same problem with my pants.

    As you have probably already figured out, the WordPress parser sees anything between “greater than” and “less than” symbols as HTML and disappears it. It tries to process it, of course, if it is valid code. If you MUST use those symbols, try &lt; and &gt;

    And you’ll get < and >.

    <This is why no one writes in Spanish here, amigo!>

  189. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): No, they did go fishing and even caught fish! Rusty caught more fish than Mark, too (which is probably why Mark is fed up and dragging Rusty home).

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#186): Okay…NOW I’m interested! Count me it!

  190. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#6): Bwahaha!

  191. Calico
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#16):
    JP – just be awere of the possibility of Arc Flash!

    MW – “Just take this little button with some water, go puke, and get some rest. Things will look brighter in the morning.”

  192. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#183): It hardly seems fair that parents who don’t use math or science should have to pay for those programs!

    Hopefully the school at least supplies the slide rules.

  193. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178):

    Yeah. I’m thinking Mark slipped Ol’ Rustoleum some “gentle sleep aid” (aka a 12 oz whiskey and coke) that had a T-Rex drawing on the resealed bottle.

    Rusto gets happy, forgets about baiting his hook and slams the Whiskey/ Coke and gets BLOTTO!

    As they pack their gear, Rusto is so flabbergasted at having a dream where a Dinosaur almost caught him that he doesn’t realize that the dream just signified a lack of attention from his parents, particularly from Mark. By constantly pining for going on a fishing trip (something most rural kids who wanted to could do on their own), Rusty was projecting, and confusing his desire to catch fish with being caught.

    Actually, it dawns on me that this may also explain why he is kidnapped so often. It is a self-fufilling prophecy that Rusty+Strange, Bearded Men=a vacation in a closet.

    Mark rescues Rustotron and promises something he should not have and the vicious cycle of the tease of attention continues.

    Snif!

    When Rusty cries, does he leak oil from his tear ducts?

  194. Calico
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

  195. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#187):

    Is that a Chapstick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

    /now that’s a problem!

  196. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#193):

    When he bawls like a baby, does he cry croco-d-oil tears?

  197. Calico
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#173):
    The director of Pax will find this in their bed in the AM, and be forever tormented by this aural horror:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psPN4xBC8nU&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PL7DAF143095DC4B6F

  198. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#188): < This is why no one writes in Spanish here, amigo! >

    You mean the only language allowed here is English? (*)

  199. Calico
    August 27th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Hagar – why aren’t they saying “Qvack”?

    RM – “We’ll see what we can do”, said the scammer.
    Now, Sarah, I want you to come over here, take off your shoes and socks, and place one foot gently into this little clay cast! That should seal the deal.”

  200. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#152):

    Yeah. You say that. But, I would think Dog-people, of all people would be running a profound risk of one of two things happening:

    1) the pet dog tries to establish Alpha supremacy and succeeds in doing so resulting in the owner being owned!
    2)the dog person falling in love with their pet, being caught and then ostracized from their community. (I expect at least one memoir explaining this “forbidden love” to be called, “I, Chihuahua”

  201. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#74):

    Mary Worth as Wonder Woman cosplay. *you cannot unsee!*

    *snerk*
    Move along folks, nothing jaunty to see here, please move along, keep moving…

  202. Écureuil Écumant
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#174): Parameter maintenance is crucial. MT: Round and flat. JP: Round and perky.

  203. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#185): I believe Alabama, where Stately Scudder Manor is located, is one of the five or six remaining states that don’t have an “education” lottery. We contribute enthusiastically to the lotteries and casinos in neighboring states, however, and I’m sure that Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, and Mississippi are grateful.

  204. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#198):

    Surely for some, it is better Latin than never!

  205. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#188):

    Thanks. My knowledge of HTML code is zero.

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#198): Si. <sigh>

  207. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#189): Wouldn’t it be rich if this played out in a way that we could mash up a complete murder mystery?
    Whodunnit – Shannon (who has a motive), or Mary (who has a streak of vigilante justice in her), or the former best friend (who couldn’t deal with Aggie’s neediness and stalking), or…?
    Or at least another Aldo “accident.”

  208. Mel Blanc
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

  209. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Can you believe how bad this guy’s Spanish? He understands one word of the entire sentence and he thinks we are exchanging passwords. He has no idea that we’ve just been insulting him the entire time.”

    Crankshaft-”Some hot coffee in the face will change your attitude.”

    FC-And he still ignores everything you say, Jeffy.

    Love Is-So are the clamps attached to the nipples or the genitals?

  210. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#187):

    Charlie Chapstick got into whose pants??

  211. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Who desires to come into my parlor?” Is this a safe house or an exclusive bordello?

  212. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    MT – I’ve thought long and hard about today’s Mark Trail. I knew there was something different about it but couldn’t put my finger on it. Then I remembered about how TRMT told us there would be something new in this Mark Trail story that has never been in any Mark Trail story before. And then it hit me … PIZZA!

    // That TRMT, he sure is a clever one, but I figured it out! For that, I’d say the least he could do is buy me one jumbe sausage pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and have it delivered to my front door … i’m waiting, TRMT!

  213. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: What if the situation were reversed? And Tarantula’s password
    was changed to fit whichever hero he brings with him to the safe house?

    “Who desires to come into my eating establishment?”

    “A Canadian who leaves no tip.”

    “Ah, Señor Wolverine!”

  214. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#205): There’s a pretty good (if incomplete) HTML editor here. You can cut and paste characters to your clipboard – and then copy them to a blog, such as here.

    // Does anyone know of a really complete reference online? — One that has odd symbols like ♪ and ♫.

  215. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#212):
    Were you asleep? Mark took Rusty fishing and then there were dinosaurs!

  216. Shrug, Catching a Code
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#205): \

    “My knowledge of HTML code is zero.”

    Well, ultimately *everything* is “just ones and zeros,” so if you already know zero about a subject, you’re halfway there!

  217. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#215):

    No, you are mistaken, that was Rusty who fell asleep. And as far as fishing … fishing – smishing! And as far as Dinosaurs … DINOSAURS DON’T EAT PIZZA! ..as far as I know.

  218. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Catching a Code (#216):

    101110010010101001101110000011011000011110, 11000010111 …ha ha ha ha!!! 100100111101110000!!! …and then some!

  219. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#187):

    What if you find Chapstik in your pants?

    You probably have chapped lips. Make of that what you want.

  220. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#218):

    Ha, ha!
    That’s the funniest thing you’ve written about Mark Trail yet!

  221. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Catching a Code (#216): if you already know zero about a subject, you’re halfway there!

    So, if I currently know zero, and study until I know twice as much as I did before, I will know all I need to know?

    Sheesh, there must be at least 10 things wrong with that statement!

  222. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Catching a Code (#216): I have an old computer — I have to use lower case “l”s and upper case “O”s.

  223. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#217):

    DINOSAURS DON’T EAT PIZZA! ..as far as I know.

    Yet, maybe they do! (Some may find this a bit gross.)

  224. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#221): A hex upon you binary thinking people!

  225. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    MT – Today I rested on a grassy river bank and I had a dream that…
    They were singing,
    Bye, bye, to Cherry’s big pizza pie,
    I drove my Chevy to the levee but the otter traps were nigh,
    And good old Mark was watching Rusty tie flies,
    singing,
    this will be the day Oscar died.

  226. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#223):

    What could possibly be gross about seeing Rusty’s and Mark’s severed heads and limbs sunken into melted cheese on a dinosaur’s pizza?

  227. Borborygmy
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#183): It hardly seems fair that parents who don’t use math or science should have to pay for those programs!

    Oh, the “lies straight out of hell” crowd? They have special schools for those people. Then they run for Congress.

  228. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#226):

    I’m sure Baka Gaijin would be filled with glee if they were clowns.

  229. Odie Odo
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#213):

    “Who desires to come into my bordello?”

    “A Yanqui who wears no shoes or pants.”

    “Ah, Señor Ziggy!”

  230. Dood
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: “Oh, I hope they have cable!”

  231. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#80) on Zippy the Pinhead: AAAHHH! Who wrote today’s strip? Stephen King? I’ve never seen such horror in my life, and I’ve been to Frankenstein’s Castle on Halloween and saw “Ishtar” though not at the same time. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! [QLUNQ!]

    It’s not just me. Have you noticed all the bear attacks recently? It’s strips like this that rile ‘em up.

    Also, AAAAHHHH!!! Where’s a good drone strike when you need one? Hell, this may be the time to pull out all the stops: send in Mary Worth with a sampler platter of salmon squares, orange glop, white ovoids, and a side order of massive meddle.

    PS: Did I mention AAAAHHHH!!!!!

    @Midtown (#117): How about twerking? Is that allowed?

    //What the heck is “twerking?” I saw it trending on one of the search websites and didn’t feel like it was worth a click.

    PS: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

    @Midtown (#160) on Frazz: Speaking of Hello Kitty, I recently saw some Hello Kitty laundry detergent. It came in two kinds, one for black clothes, one for other colored clothes. For some reason Europeans are really into special detergent for black clothes.

    PS: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

    @Sequitur (#228): To quote The Tarantula: “¡Sí!”

  232. Alison
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    “Rex Morgan”: My my, what a change! Suddenly Ms. Lanning is playing hardball. I see that Rex n’ June do not like it one bit. They were clearly expecting this part of the contract to state, “Every time author finishes a book, she will receive a new car and a wardrobe from Gucci.”

    “Mary Worth”: You’ll write a letter? Um, you are already at the resort. Why don’t you go talk to the manager in person, genius? (I know Mary followed up by offering to do that, but I would think that would be the first thing a normal person would suggest, not using snail mail.)

  233. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#232): the first thing a normal person would suggest

    And now do you see the flaw in your reasoning?

    A normal senior citizen would write a letter – to the editor of the local paper – protesting the poor treatment of the yoga instructor.

    However, this is unusually direct for Mary, who would be more likely to find the ‘friend’ who caused the rift in the first place, tell her to consider her past behavior for possible causes, meddle her into reconciling with her former friend, and then have the friend withdraw her complaint.

  234. Joe Blevins
    August 27th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    If Peter Parker had knocked on the door, would it have been spelled “knock knock knock” instead? Who am I kidding? If Peter had knocked on the door, he’d have missed it entirely and wound up knocking himself unconscious.

  235. Ratiocinator
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#65):

    Yes, that means I have a problem with her pants! There, I said it!

    It’s okay; this pants-related problem was preexisting.

    @TheDiva (#84):

    Also, why is Gunther wearing the skirt to a naughty schoolgirl outfit?

    Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

    Or maybe he had a problem with his pants. (Sorry, Lumaca.)

    @bats :[ (#187): Then they’d be problem-free for once. I’d wear them instead of naughty schoolgirl skirts if they had Chapstik in them more often.

    @Liam (#211): They’re not mutually exclusive, necessarily.

  236. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#39): He was expecting Kaley Cuoco.

  237. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    How does Spider-Man know the Spanish word for “spider”? I thought he learned all the Spanish he knows from reading the Spanish-language section of the manual for the TV remote control.

  238. tallyHO
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#234):

    Maybe it would be

    FRONK FRONK FRONK!

  239. walt d.
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Something sensible is finally happening in this story. The Morgans are reviewing the contract, and saying, appropriately, “What IS this shit?” It is also becoming clear that it IS a con, even if there is nothing particularly illegal about it. Ask any cartoonist who finally secures a niche in the comics about their original contract. “That’s just a formality. Means nothing.” “We can fix all that in the final draft.” “This is our standard contract.” “Naturally, we reserve the right. . .” “You see, our formal ownership of your characters is a way of protecting you.” And the dreaded: “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. I guess we’re done here. Have a nice trip back to Podunk.”

    RMMD: Somehow I have a feeling that if they signed the contract and it eventually (and inevitably) wound up in court, the whole thing would be thrown out. I can’t imagine that you could bind a child to produce work in this way. I can imagine the judge giving a sharp lecture to all involved.

    RMMD: I don’t know why they should be concerned about the money. “Aunt” Melissa is bound to die before Sarah reaches college age (about 2050 at the earliest, in real time), and June will presumably inherit the bulk of the estate after a nasty fight with a few peripheral relatives. Or they could get a start by selling the damn boat.

    The Barn/9CL: I much prefer Fleurrie to the vet in The Barn. Fleurrie is much better looking, much more entertaining, and potentially no crazier. I wouldn’t let either of them touch an animal of mine.

  240. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: Rusty has learned the lesson that will see him through to manhood, which is that coexistence is for pussies.

    S-M: Hey Peter, with Tarantula playing his spy games, maybe now is a good time for you to play the quiet game.

  241. mtfan
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I think Rusty may have a terminal illness. First, Mark takes him fishing, and now he’s having his favorite dinner. What’s next, a Make-A-Wish trip to Dollywood?

  242. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Wof I: Obviously, there’s no point in owning a dragon unless you can use him to threaten peons.

    FW: Welcome to the Special Snowflake Club, Becky. You can pretty much ignore the rest of the world going to hell now.

    C-Shaft: If Crankshaft wants to sour Mary Jokename’s positive attitude, exposure to him will do it quicker than any kind of coffee.

    9CL: I’d bet more on “Penthouse” than “Mad.”

    DT: Nice catch, Mysta. You almost said that last part out loud.

    GT: Drs Ghote and Sail from Dick Tracy have produced a young George W Bush in their cloning lab. The blond hair must be to cover their tracks.

    6C: I’m not sure who Adam would impress with his implicit claim of having three dicks. Some weird antediluvian goblin race, I guess.

    Lockhorns: Picture of what Edward Cullen would look like with Liberace hair. Trying to say something, Reiner?

  243. Alison
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#233):
    I still half-expect Mary to meddle with Aggie, but, I don’t know. None of this “Mary goes to the resort” story has gone the way I figured it would. The scenes with June were just Mary and June going back and forth about how they miss their husbands. Nothing juicy for Mary to really sink her teeth (dentures) into. It also finished very quickly by MW standards.

    Plus, Mary has expressed no interest in meddling with any of the other people in the discussion group, like the Mr. Dill lookalike who hates his job, or the blonde who made Aggie mad in the first place. Normally, Mary would be on those people like a duck on a junebug.

    At this point, I’m wondering if Mary will just pack up her bags and go home, without doing any real meddling. Shocking.

  244. Odie Odo
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis: Ludwig has been selling acai berry supplements to the juvenile birds again.

    Herb and Jamaal: Look on the bright side, Herb. You can always use one of Jamaal’s Denver omelets to patch the hole in your shoe.

  245. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#186):

    I was hoping for a little crime. Well, okay, a big crime. Murder and intrigue.

    It does seem a shame not to make use of all that pristine desert, so handy for burying bodies.

  246. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @mtfan (#241):

    Who are you and how dare you run away with the COTW award so fast?!

  247. The good ship thetis
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#231): It’s not worth a click. Unless you are home alone and having a problem with your pants.

    //I can’t believe I just wrote that. I have not made such a lewd suggestion since a graduate course discussion of “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” went badly awry…

  248. Great American Satan
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    How Mark Trail should have gone-

    Rust Monster: “Jeepers, it’s a good thing humans and dinosaurs didn’t coexist, huh?”
    Mark: “Indeed, Rusty. Indeed.”
    Extant dinosaurs, AKA Motherflippin’ Birds: “CAW CAW” *eats out their eyes*

  249. Borborygmy
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @The good ship thetis (#247): Twerking came up on the aptly named Questionable Content a few days ago. It looks kind of scary.

  250. Calico
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    Google “Dinosaur pizza” and you’ll see a lot of cute images. They all look safe and now I want real, fresh thin crust pizza!

  251. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#155) said:
    “Alfred E. Neuman, upon hearing about where Thorax got his law degree:

    ‘I’m having trouble with my potrzebie!’”

    My old girlfriend, Moxie Cowznofski, had a remedy for that, “Take one grunch with the eggplant over there.”, she’d say. While that did work, my furshlugginer axolotl was always eating my grunches and eggplants. An alternative solution turned out to be much easier: I discovered that it’s crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide! This always makes my potrzebie feel better, but it helps even more if I then run a mile or so. Unfortunately, it takes me forever to catch my breath afterwards — I gasp and sputter a lot. Lumaca Morente saw me doing that once, and expressed concern that I was having trouble with my pants.

  252. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#91): “…I can’t think of the Spanish words for brain-dead asshole.” —

    idiota con muerte cerebral

    Thanks. It’s pronounced “Peter Parker,” right?

  253. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

  254. ratnerstar
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Hey Josh, that’s two references to “blurred lines” in two days. Clearly you need to take a break from the radio for a bit.

  255. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    I was going to complain about the idiotic way in which Spiderman and The Tarantula approach a safe house while in costume. Then I realized the mask is a good thing for Parker. Without it, we’d have to see his smug, arrogant face as he bumbles along.

    Incidentally, does anyone actually live in this city? I know it’s nighttime, because The Tarantula said so the other week, but there’s just been a noisy mid-air collision and a double helicopter crash, no doubt accompanied by two separate fires from spilled avgas. These are the sorts of catastrophes that draw out crowds.

  256. Lenoxus
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Why would Spiderman induce the use of a password (technically passphrase) by the presence of the word “spider”? Wouldn’t a simpler assumption be “Tarantula’s either talking about himself or about me”? Or did Spidey already know about the revolutionaries’ rule that passphrases must be thunderingly obvious?

  257. flug
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    MT: Dinosaur Dream Sequence aborted after only one minor tyrannosaurus chase?! That just isn’t right.

    ANYBODY who’s been reading MT for a while knows how this should have gone down:

    First, the very visage of Cave-Rusty should have been hideous, HIDEOUS, HIDEOUS!!!!! beyond any previous measure, and should have been featured right up front in huge and HIDEOUS close-up in so many panels we couldn’t even count them. Completely regardless of whatever plot does or does not exist at the time.

    Then, Cave-Mark should have offered to take Cave-Rusty out coelacanth fishing, only to drop him cold turkey upon receiving a phone call about some mysterious goings-on in Lost Primeval Forest.

    Then, a group of nefarious velociraptors should have kidnapped Cave-Rusty and his pet diplodocus and kept them captive in a box or something, giving plenty of opportunity for HIDEOUS Cave-Rusty close-ups.

    Then Cave-Mark and his extremely dull-witted Cave-Congressman friend should have spent considerable time paddling aimlessly about in a cave-canoe, preferably made of granite or some other completely non-floating substance. Meanwhile, a pack of devious spinosauruses hatch a fiendish plot to cheat in the annual coelacanth-fishing content and so spend hours motor-boating around aimlessly in the shallow inland sea and splashing Cave-Mark and his Cave-Congressman friend and stuff.

    Then, after several more months of this type of thing, not necessarily needing to have any type of rhyme or reason but never failing to feature plenty of DINOSAURS and HIDEOUS CLOSE-UPS of HIDEOUS CAVE-RUSTY and MYSTERIOUS NEFARIOUS TROPICAL DINOSAUR-ISLANDS and boats and airplanes and stuff, finally Cave-Mark would have ended up in the biggest and awesome-est DEATH-PUNCHING-DUEL-OF-DEATH-PUNCHES-EVER!!?!?!11111 with a whole evil band of tyrannosaurus rexes, which of course Cave Mark would have won hands down thanks to the extra-wimpy punching ability of tyrannosauruses’ tiny little arms.

    Meanwhile, Cave-Cherry would have been mentioned not even one little time, because that’s how he-man granite-canoe-paddlin’ tyrannosaurus rex-punchin’ cave men like Cave Mark take care o’ cave-man bidness . . .

    The episode would end with Cave-Mark punching victorious over a giant bloody field of death-punched tyrannosauruses, spinosauruses still motorboating aimlessly about poaching coelacanth, ignored by everyone, Cave-Rusty and his pet diplodocus still locked up tight and suffocating in the box because Cave-Mark accidentally forgot them, Cave-Cherry completely un-mentioned and irrelevant, and the Cave-Congressman mysteriously dropped from the plot-line after the colorizer changed his hair color five times in only four days, setting a new record officially recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records.

    And that’s how Rusty’s Dinosaur Dream SHOULD HAVE gone down!

  258. Liam
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    MT-Rusty dreamt that he was a dinosaur. When he awakened he didn’t know if he was Rusty dreaming of being a dinosaur or a dinosaur dreaming of being a Rusty.

  259. &!#%
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    I found today’s Mutts particularly amusing because I recently read a letter to the editor bemoaning the abundance of grawlixes in newspaper comic strips. (Sorry, queek, but according to the infallible Wikipedia, it’s grawlix, not grawlex.)

    To be fair, what apparently prompted the sending of the letter was the appearance of an actual curse word in Pearls Before Swine (it’s not specified, but I’m guessing that it was the “hell” in this strip). I will begrudgingly admit that the letter-writer may have a point there. It’s one of the mildest non-minced oaths I can think of, but it is not actually minced (although one could, just barely, argue that it was being used as a place name, rather than a curse). But taking offense at symbols for profanity? Boxcar!

  260. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#143): To paraphrase Sir Pterry, you couldn’t dominate Gunther any more than you could dominate a mattress.

    @Ratiocinator (#235): Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

    Who says I haven’t? :-P

  261. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#255): These are the sorts of catastrophes that draw out crowds.

    Well, there is a civil war or revolution going on. When non-combatants hear loud explosions, they’ve learned to keep quiet and hunker down.

    // Heaven help me! Have I just defended the logic of a TASM comic? I must go atone!

  262. Jolly Roger Kaputnik
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

  263. Amos Snarkadder
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#219) @bats :[ (#187): Chapstick in your pants told a tale on you
    Chapstick in your pants said your lips were dry
    Bet your jaunty bottom, you and I are through
    Cause chapstick in your pocket caught you in a lie. Yeah.

  264. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#24): Mutts: Right Rev.s Pasdordan and Scudder, please take note.

    I’m just a Rev.. He’s a Right Venerable. Big difference. And most of the billingsgate is on his part. My oaths are, usually, nicely minced, and seasoned with tasteful wit.

  265. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#264):

    Oh, buttocks!

  266. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @&!#% (#259): I usually double-check the spelling on that due to my tendency to have it wrong, but I didn’t do so this time around.

    my bad.

  267. Odie Odo
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#260): To paraphrase Sir Pterry…

    Must you use a nickname? Frankly, I don’t know which “Sir Pterry” you’re referring to: Pteranodon or Pterodactylus.

  268. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @flug (#257):

    You must have helped Jackelrod write some of his past story arcs before TRMT came along, right?

  269. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @flug (#257): …paddling aimlessly about in a cave-canoe, preferably made of granite or some other completely non-floating substance.

    Of course a granite boat can float! It merely has to be fashioned or carved in such a manner as to displace a weight in water equal to its own weight in stone, cargo, and crew. They made Liberty Ships out of concrete in WWII, you know!

  270. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @&!#% (#259): Matt Groening’s Life in Hell comic strip ran from 1977 to 2012. Why wasn’t it ever flagged for profanity (especially in the early years)?

  271. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Jolly Roger Kaputnik (#262): Moxie! What a Cutie! I never should have dumped her for Margo Magee.

  272. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @flug (#257):

    Dang. I wish I could read. That looks interesting.

  273. Illustrator Steve
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    MT – “MARK! MARK! I’m so full of pancake pizza I think I’m falling asleep again! And if I have another dream I’m afraid the T-rex will be waiting to get me! WHAT should I do?!”

    “Just think about me taking you FISHING, Rusty! Just the excitment alone of you thinking that I’m going to take you fishing always seemed to keep you awake before! …Here, Rusty, grab your rod and tackle and walk out onto the our rotting dock that I still haven’t fixed, and wait for me there while you hold your pole … I’ll be right along after I take this incoming call from Bill Ellis!”

  274. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#265): Callipygy is a beautiful thing, sir!

  275. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#273):

    Here, Rusty, grab your rod and tackle…

    I’m not sure I want to see Rusty grab his rod and tackle.

  276. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#270): Presumably because newspapers that are wary of the word “Hell” never picked up the “Life in Hell” strip in the first place. Newspapers have different standards. Some allow the publication of 9CL, proving they don’t read what they publish. Other allow the publication of Reply All, proving they are accepting bribes from the WaPo Writers’ Group.

  277. Peanut Gallery
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#33): Now you know the terrifying truth: Just because you started it doesn’t mean you can stop it. [*]

  278. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#270): Life in Hell was mostly running in alternative papers, not the mainstream ones. Same ones that keep Tom Tomorrow in knibbles and beer.

  279. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#274):

    Maybe Rusty can grab his buttocks and say, “Watch out Mark! I’ve got da bomb! Da bomb, I tell ya! And it could blow at any moment!”

  280. Bugs Bunny
    August 27th, 2013 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Fred C. Dobbs (#63): Hit the road!

  281. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Only 43 instances of the word “pants” today! It was 83 yesterday! Progress!

  282. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Pants!

  283. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#282):

    Trousers.

  284. Peanut Gallery
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, or as Others Might Say, Tisvh (#105): “Side effects of Bilbimtesirol are mild and may include perpendicular shadows, speaking in tongues, and ridiculous plot devices.”

  285. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

  286. walt d.
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#239): RMMD: More about the money. Sarah’s projected take from this project was $24,000. This is serious money to me, and probably to many of you. But to a doctor? They probably paid the nanny that much per year. Maybe a good deal more. If this strip operated in real time, by the time Sarah went off to college in 2026, $24,000 might buy a semester’s tuition at a respectable state university. It kind of irks me that they have this very comfortable life but are always acting as though they’re two steps ahead of the repo man.

  287. Peanut Gallery
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#162): What if I find a Constant in my attic? You know, like pi, or phi… Attic Greek constants.

  288. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

  289. billman
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#278):

    For a short time (mid ’90s, I remember because they had the tribute to Jerry Garcia strip after his death in ’95) it was running in the Orange County (CA) Register (Sunday strip only if there were more). Pretty conservative place but the paper itself more libertarian. Not sure when they stopped running it. They change up their comics pretty regularly. Had the big Sunday Zippy (I remember it taking a quarter page like the Sunday Life in Hell) for awhile before that I think. Both in black and white in a Sunday supplement.

  290. Bill Peschel
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#267): Sir Pterry = Sir Terry Pratchett.

    Can’t remember how he came to be Pterry, but the queen made him a Sir.

    (PS: If you haven’t read his books, you should.)

  291. Duke of Earl Grey
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    In the Pluggerverse, bird seed is sold in giant, potato chip bags, of course.

  292. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    “I’m sorry, Mr. Morgan, this is just our boilerplate multiple-book contract for a pre-schooler! I’m sure we can iron out the minor details, no pun intended!”

  293. Peanut Gallery
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#203): As the saying goes, “Thank God for Mississippi!”

  294. Mag
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Bird plugger is also feeding a cat, presumably so that it doesn’t stalk and eat her.

  295. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#164): Thank you. I agree.

  296. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    I’m not hallucinating, am I? That’s Heathcliff’s tongue transporting Troop L/7 across the desert, right?

  297. seismic-2
    August 27th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

  298. Peanut Gallery
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#214): The technique I know of for encoding the musical note symbols is a numeric Unicode reference. Theoretically, you can encode any Unicode character in HTML, which means the number of available characters is truly vast, but I guess most of them probably wouldn’t be displayed properly in any given user’s browser, and I don’t know how to predict which ones are most likely to work. For example, in this list, some of the symbols display for me, some don’t.

    (⇯ “Upwards white double arrow on pedestal”, anyone?)

  299. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#249): I’m guessing “twerking” involves ritually showing off one’s buttocks jaunting around. Hm.

    @TheDiva (#260): Why would one want to dominate either object?

    @Duke of Earl Grey (#291): Of course. How else do you end up with giant carb-bloated birds if not with giant bags of potato chips birdseed.

  300. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#298): That is an excellent list — thanks!

    // Who knew there were so many kinds of arrows?

  301. Alison
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#286):
    Did you ever read “For Better or for Worse”? It was the same thing. The whole family always acted like they were broke, even though the father had his own successful dental practice in Toronto. Yeah, I’m sure that kind of gig would leave his family poverty-stricken.

    I think people do this primarily because they want to look like they relate to “the little guy”. It’s the same reason why gorgeous movie stars always say things like, “In high school I was ugly and everyone made fun of me.” They want the masses to relate to them. I can’t speak for everybody, but personally this usually just ends up pissing me off, not thinking, “Oh boy, I can really relate to you!”

    At any rate, I think this is the reason comics do this, because they want readers to relate to them. Although, I have no idea how anybody is supposed to relate to a five-year-old who got her own book deal just by saying, “I wrote a book! Want to sell it in your museum?”

  302. Anybody who\'s tried to buy a men\'s shirt for a birthday present
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

  303. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, or as Others Might Say, Tisvh (#105): The Gutenberg.org scan of THE GODDESS OF ATVATABAR, seems to load a lot faster, btw. This book rivals Chronohotonthologos in my affections.

  304. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#281): If we buckle down we can suspend even the briefest mention of pants.

  305. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#301): I can’t speak for everybody, but personally this usually just ends up pissing me off…

    And yet it might well be true. You must have seen one of those features on famous Hollywood stars in their high school year book pictures.

  306. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, because of problems with their pants. — Howling Al Camus

  307. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#261): Or maybe they’ve just learned to hide when Spiderman appears. When you think about his power to make bricks pull out of walls and hit heads, he’s a lot more dangerous than he looks.

    But, really, why would the Costa Verdeans hide during a battle? It’s obvious that tourism is a major local industry. You’d think they would hustle out there and get massacred for the edification of all those tourists who flew in with Spiderman.

  308. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    April is the cruelest month, breeding
    Lilacs out of the dead land, stirring
    Problems with your pants

    T.S. Camus

  309. Sequitur
    August 27th, 2013 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#306):

    Wasn’t there a coffee table art book out there called, Camus’ Pants?

  310. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#309): Not that I can find. There seems to be a brand of sweat or yoga pants, called Camus.

    // Help! I there a research librarian in the house? The googles are worthless!

  311. walt d.
    August 27th, 2013 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#301): FBOFW (general) Yeah, I’ve read the whole thing. I liked the middle third fairly well, some people liked the first third, and no one seems to like the last third. There were some very good individual strips. Gordon was my favorite character, although his rousing business success was even less believable than Mike’s writing career.

    RMMD: The old line was “Middle class means living in the suburbs and hiding from the paper boy.” The idea is that most people live up to the edge of their incomes, however high those may be, and thus feel pressured about finances. Rex and June have chosen to have a nice country home, a couple vehicles, a free boat that they have to pay a marina fee for, and Lord knows what else. They may be paying off a mortgage on the office building. Still, I cannot buy a doctor and nurse with a normal middle-class practice getting as excited as they do whenever money/property comes their way.

    JP: You notice that the people in JP have so flippin’ much money that they have moved beyond financial worries, or concern about being “just folks”. Although, as Katherine illustrates, the thrill of acquiring even a little more never seems to pall.

  312. TheDiva
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#290): One of the Discworld books (Pyramids, IIRC) has a character named Ptraci–the “P” is silent–so it evolved from that.

    (Finally got around to reading Good Omens and the Tiffany Aching series over here–can’t fathom why I dragged my heels on them for so long; awesome stuff.)

  313. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#309) asked:
    “@Nehemiah Scudder (#306):
    Wasn’t there a coffee table art book out there called, Camus’ Pants?”

    No, but there was a philosophical treatise on his obsession with women’s sleeveless undergarments, called Camus’ Soul.

  314. bats :[
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

  315. Droopy Says
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Spide and Spider: Rod, I’m impressed. You managed to say that with a straight face.

    Family Circus: It’s in the Bandar tongue, Billy, and it means “Who do we kill now?”

    Crappy Jokebeatentodeathbean: Batiuk, this “joke” is Dead with a capital rigor mortis. If you don’t have the decency to bury it, could you at least embalm it before it stinks up the place?

    Phantom: Kit, for bullet purposes, you’re just one man.

    Mark Trail: But if you fence it in, how will Lost Forest get lost?

    Pluggers: Pluggercat, if you want suggestions, you’ve come to the right place!

  316. Baka Gaijin
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#314): That’s hilarious! A jouncing buttock!

  317. Ben Wasabi
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#290): Sir Pterry = Sir Terry Pratchett.

    Any relation to that Bob Pratchett guy from “A Christmas Carol”?

  318. Huckleberry Fink
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#317):

    Or Nurse Pratchett from “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?

  319. Poteet
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    MW — I would have been so content to just imagine this letter. Very briefly.

  320. Morgan Wick
    August 27th, 2013 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    The great outdoors? Enjoying the beauty of nature? “Boy, I sure LOVE pizza!”

  321. seismic-2
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    ASM: We know he’s not a spy, because spies have to be competent.

  322. Not Worth It
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Also, how the heck do you /retire/ from the kitchen? You still have to eat, right? Do older Pluggers live solely on McDonalds and delivery pizza?

  323. Huckleberry Fink
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy: After her sword was stolen, the thief sold it to a fence.

  324. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Bigporn: On the plus side, this sequence evokes Rudolph Valentino’s famed tango sequence in Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. You can’t help but see Valentino in the aggressive poses with the implied violence and sexual menace, and you know that some half-willing innocent is about to be violated. On the negative side, Brooke, it isn’t the chick who’s supposed to remind you of Valentino.

  325. Ben Wasabi
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Dog Eat Doug: Obviously, the cats aren’t Canadian.

    Mutts: Yeah. I have the same problem with my shorts.

  326. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    what planet does Rex Morgan live on?

  327. Huckleberry Fink
    August 28th, 2013 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    Henry: The Queen of Candyland gets played for a sucker… an all-day sucker.

  328. Minstrel Man
    August 28th, 2013 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#317), @Huckleberry Fink (#318): Wasn’t “Molly Pratchett” an American southern rock/hard rock band from Florida?

  329. Alison
    August 28th, 2013 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#305):
    Yeah, sometimes. But it seems more often they looked just as good back then-they just wore dated clothes and had bad hair (or *gasp* wore glasses).

    My favorite example of this phenomenon was a magazine interview with Megan Fox in which she said that in high school she was ugly and everyone hated her. The magazine chose to put this quote on the same page as photo of Ms. Fox in high school, looking like a fashion model and wearing a cheerleader’s uniform, surrounded by other cheerleaders, who were all hugging her. There were quite a few disgusted comments from readers about that one. Methinks the magazine was stirring shit on purpose that time.

    @walt d. (#311):
    I liked the middle of FOOB. I didn’t much like the very beginning-Elizabeth was too whiny, and Elly was a real pushover-but I thought the middle years were pretty damn funny. The later years were garbage.

    I always felt bad for Gordo and wanted him to punch Michael or at least bitch him out. Gordo had real problems, like abusive parents, and all Mike ever did was complain about stupid shit like getting a zit or having to be home before midnight.

  330. Joel Bryan
    August 28th, 2013 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    Now that I’ve been exposed to it on a more frequent basis than usual (i.e., at all), the artwork for “Mark Trail” increasingly seems to be produced via machine-created clip art or rubber stamps. There’s nothing remotely resembling the human hand about it.

  331. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#330): Uh . . . Elrod’s work can leave something to be desired, but TRMT’s work has been very good.

  332. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 28th, 2013 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    @Not Worth It (#322): Also, how the heck do you /retire/ from the kitchen?

    Well, in my mother’s case, you have a husband who decides to take up cooking as a hobby after retiring. He gets to have the fun of making all sorts of fancy meals with his new skills, and she’s thrilled to not have to cook dinner any more.

  333. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    @Not Worth It (#322): Well, the Chicken Lady had to retire when she became to old to lay eggs and too gamy to make good soup stock.

  334. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 28th, 2013 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#330): Your statements are demonstrably false and have the appearance of having been posted only as a provocation to draw readers to your own comics website, which unfortunately appears to generate no comments whatsoever. Your comment is so far from reality that I dismiss out of hand the possibility that the opinions are sincere.

    If, as I assume, you frequent this site, you know that the artist posts here frequently, and is well thought of, you used that knowledge to try to provoke outrage, resulting in more traffic to your own pathetic modest site. I’m offended.

  335. Joel Bryan
    August 28th, 2013 at 4:56 am [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#334): Wow. Ranked by a bear! All I can do is sincerely apologize for overstepping my bounds in a comment culture I’m not completely familiar and for using the “website” field. I thought it was there for a reason, but I guess I was wrong. You know, if I were really doing what you accused me of, I probably would have linked to myself in the comment field. Since I’m using my real name and not a humorous pseudonym, I assure you my opinion is completely sincere. Since I fully admit it’s my own fool fault I got off on the wrong foot by insulting something sacred to this site’s comment culture, I won’t respond in kind to your own passive-aggressive insult.

    However so I don’t subject you to ideas you might not like, and I don’t really like passive-aggressive people or prickly comment cultures, I’ll just bow out completely and leave everyone to their fun. Once again, very sorry.

  336. gleeb
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    ‘bean-It’s going to be a series of alleged puns based on “pay to play”, isn’t it? Anyway, it isn’t a bad idea to highlight the increasing number of schools that have to charge money not just for extracurricular stuff like marching bands, but for taking actual classes. But Batiuk, with his flair for bad timing, preceded this week with two weeks highlighting how miserable the band and football team are, which rather lays the stress on the irony that students are asked to pay to be that miserable. Maybe new-guy art teacher’s classes are better, but we weren’t shown them. Anyhow, again with an odd use of “spinoff”.

    Thalia’s Grift!-Sophie is about to blow this caper wide open. At least i hope so, because it has become dull.

    Spidey-He’s wearing a mask with ridiculous eyes just like Tarantula. How could he be anything but a friend?

    Sequitur-Still a golf joke.

  337. Liam
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:05 am [Reply]

    I would like to contribute to the pants discussion but I’m having trouble coming up with anything in my pants.

  338. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#337): So until then you’ll keep your lip zipped?

  339. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:10 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#338): Lips. That’s what I get for making comments on the fly.

  340. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#313): …treatise on his obsession with women’s sleeveless undergarments, called Camus’ Soul

    I think I’ve seen that! Written by a clergyman, wasn’t it? A Reverend Teddy?

  341. Mr O'Malley
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    If Tarantula really had the proportional whatever of a tarantula, he would spend his whole life living in a little tunnel, popping out only to nab whatever food came walking by. Then finally after years of this he would decide to go out looking for sex, but most likely he would get eaten instead.

  342. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 28th, 2013 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#329): Ms. Fox in high school, looking like a fashion model and wearing a cheerleader’s uniform, surrounded by other cheerleaders, who were all hugging her.

    Heh! That does sound amusing.

    // Still, you know how insincere those cheerleader types can be. Guess it’s an occupational hazard. (Or would that be, avocational.) Still, the whole point of cheerleading is to appear to be insanely enthusiastic about something that’s not all that important.

  343. Huckleberry Fink
    August 28th, 2013 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#330): When I see the terms “clip art” and “rubber stamps,” it’s NOT Mark Trail that comes to mind:

    http://www.gocomics.com/redmeat/2013/08/25

  344. Droopy Says
    August 28th, 2013 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#342): The odd thing is that a century ago, Grandpa Droopy was a cheerleader. I always wondered how that worked out for him.

  345. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 28th, 2013 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#344): George Bush “43″ was a cheerleader — and we all know how that worked out for him.

  346. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 28th, 2013 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#335): I think that your comment brings up one of the tricky things about having a comics artist hang out here. While TRMT isn’t “sacred,” I think he is well thought of here, since he seems to be a genuinely nice guy who’s trying to do some good work–and I think many of us appreciate his efforts to bring some more life to Elrod’s strip and his explanations of what he’s trying to do.

    And all that is great, and I’ve enjoyed having him contribute here, but it also can make normal snark sound kind of harsh. So I think that’s where the reactions are coming from.

  347. Liam
    August 28th, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#338):

    I’ll keep it in my pants.

  348. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 28th, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#346): I agree. And the “Clip Art” comment has been very, very common in reference to Mark Trail for a long time, up to and including the past few weeks worth of strips.

    Over the years, several authors and artists of strips that are criticized here have posted. I remember Woody Wilson posting a few times, but that hasn’t prevented his strips from recieving the thorough mockery that they deserve.

    I love that TRMT is trying to revive a classic strip with some new elements, and that he listens to his critics but doesn’t seem to let them overly influence him. But that shouldn’t mean that the Mark Trail comic is off-limits for justified criticism.

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