The heartbreak of RBS
Dick Tracy, 1/28/09
I spent longer than I care to recount staring at the final panel of this cartoon, trying to figure out what Dick was getting at. Was there some other way to pronounce “perfume” that would cause this apparent play on words to make some sort of sense? “Especially because you’re making perfume for my wife. Or is it per-foom-ay? Just like your house went a-boom-ay? Wait, no, hold on a second…” Eventually, I figured out that the final word panel should be read as “Or is it perfume?” I don’t want to single out Dick Tracy, because Random Bolding Syndrome is an affliction that strikes virtually every comic ever created, though some more than others (*cough* Mark Trail *cough*). Here’s a helpful tip for comics artists: try reading your dialogue aloud, adding emphasis, before committing it to word balloons, OK?
I did not, however, have to think very long to figure out what Dick was getting at with “Just want to know you better” in the first panel; obviously it involves electrodes, sensitive body parts, pleas for mercy, etc.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/28/09
I can’t even begin to tell you how unsettled I am by panel two Rex, with his pursed, fleshy lips and suddenly beady and lizard-like eyes. Maybe he’s trying to cut his usual condescending tone to his wife by feigning a sympathetic and concerned facial expression, but he has no real idea what that would look like, so he’s just flexing his face muscles at random and hoping for the best. Meanwhile, in panel three, Rex and June look less like they’re discussing the abstract possibility of some little boy they don’t know being lost, and more like they’ve been given some terrible, devastating piece of personal news, like “Little Sarah didn’t get into that elite pre-school because they found her uncanny and creepy” or “Honcho Magazine no longer has home delivery.”
Crankshaft, 1/28/09
It’s good to know that the ’Shaft occasionally feels a frisson of remorse for his many monstrous crimes.
Apartment 3-G, 1/28/09
“Love! Happiness! The giddiness of a new relationship! I … I … does not compute! Should I just slit her throat now and make a run for it?”
Trix
January 28th, 2009 at 11:56 am
It came to mind that the Crank may have been remembering other types of “movements” that many elders are known to comment on. I know that is disgusting but it is Crankshaft who never fails to comment on things too personal to mention.
willethompson
January 28th, 2009 at 11:56 am
RMMD: “Yes, Rex. Anything is possible. Even your heterosexuality. Though I’m not betting the farm.”
LITTLE A. WITH THE CRYSTAL BALL WHO HAS NEVER WON THE LOTTERY
January 28th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Luann: I know after I admit what I am going to admit, that I will get even more ignored n this site than normal, but — I just read through about a year’s worth of Luann (around 1995 or so) and found in entertaining, funny, and entertaining! Am I crazy? Do I need some fresh air?
teddytoad
January 28th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Rex looks very Montgomery Clift in Panel 3, I must say. And very Joan Crawford in Panel 2. Neither bode well for June, or explain Sarah.
Stroker Ace
January 28th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
A3G – Nora, your desire is painfully transparent. Margo is more than enough man for any gal. Kiss her.
Matmaduke
January 28th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
BC- FYI Scientists usually tag animals in the most non-intrusive manner so it does not affect their behavior, but I guess this strip is set in the BC so they probably just want to drown you and eat your delicious flesh.
Family Circus: You named your cat Kittycat, get some friggin imagination kid, you disgust me.
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
#3 Little A. – Yes you are. A brief run through the Lio archives should restore your sanity and sense of what’s funny.
The Magic Mel
January 28th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Is it wrong that I like the turn 9CL has taken? Something very sweet is coming, and perhaps it will happen in real time?
Who am I kidding…it’s going to be another week of handjive. But a girl can hope!
Cranky
January 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I think we can safely add Ziggy’s cat to the list of pets he’s having sex with. Someone is keeping this list, right? Not it.
Smokin' Grassroots
January 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Family Circus: Is Billy holding a dead cat and waiting for it awaken to enjoy the rest of its lives?! I’d love to see follow up cartoons as kittycat slowly decomposes in Billy’s arms and he realizes that it must have been on its ninth life already.
Patrick
January 28th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
“Anything’s possible, Rex! Like, if I turn away from you, you could mistake my butt for that of a hunky cruise ship pirate! Butt…pirate…butt…pirate…get it? GET IT?!”
Sam
January 28th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
RM, panel 2: I think June just tried out her new “golf grip” on Rex’s “driver”
Chyron HR
January 28th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
9 Chickweed Lane – A reporter “suggested [her] career might be on the line”? Yeah, sure, blame the reporter, not the girl who had sex on worldwide television.
Archie – Don’t worry, Arch, just handle the test the Prickly City way: announce that you refuse to recognize the so-called Math/Science/History [delete as appropriate] that the liberal education system is trying to brainwash you into believing.
Assholine Galley – Oh, I remember when I got my first job and even though I had no experience, they just told me to get to work without explaining any of the information necessary to perform the job. No, wait, that never happened because it would be fucking stupid.
Dick Tracy – “Dick Tracy asks Dr. Noll if a substance is perfume or perfume, and threatens to kill him gruesomely if he answers incorrectly. How did Dr. Noll outsmart him?” Answer: He’s fucked.
Luann – Oh, Luann, standing around chewing your cud requires way more brainpower than you can muster, Miss “Gee, Pud, do you think Aaron Hill would like me if I was even clingier”?
Spider-Man – A shout-out to The Electric Company? See, Quesada, this is how you return Spider-Man to his roots!
Nathan
January 28th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I feel empathy for the mad scientist. He always looks like he is on the verge of crying. Confusing word game logic is sure not to help. Also, in that third panel of Rex Morgan it appears that June and Rex’s eerily similar haircuts are trying to morph themselves back into the sentient being they once were.
aric
January 28th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I agree with comment #1 – Crankshaft is talking about taking a dump that brought tears to his eyes.
Unrelated to comics but I am curious: All the ads that build on the page make sense in that they have to do with drawing / comics except for the International Asian Dating and the 1-877-FEAR-AWAY (which judging by the picture appears to be some sort of nurse cosplay fetish site)
bartcow
January 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
My family’s legacy has been built on the love of a good fart joke. Potty humor is so ingrained in me that I have had to retrain myself to keep my giggles quiet while in public. So naturally, I too was drawn toward thinking that Crankshaft was speaking of his bowel movements, and that on occasion the stench of his own flatus has caused his eyes to well up, or that they were so satisfying that he wept tears of joy.
Now that I have fulfilled my calling and pleased my ancestors, I’m going to go giggle at the word “poop” some more. Excuse me.
Lawyerbob
January 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
It’s obvious (at least to me) that Rex and June are doing the nasty. This conversation about the little boy is just part of their “role play” to help Rex get in the mood. Rex’s face in panel 2 is the expression he gets at the moment of his petit mort (note that it happens at the thought of a little boy alone on a cruise ship), leaving June in panel 3 to fend for herself, as usual.
shMerker
January 28th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
You guys are jerks. Can’t you see that when they asked Crankshaft about violations his mind immediately went to all the times he’s been sodomized? Think of all the pain he’s been keeping insi…spreading around to every person he’s come into contact with. Yeah, sympathy’s already used up.
Dragon of Life
January 28th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I have to disagree with those commentors suggesting the ‘Shaft is playing off of “moving.” See, the idea is that “moving” means emotionally so, thus the tear reference. We can therefore conclude that he’s waxing maudlin over “violations” — in other words, he’s taken his misanthropy to dark new levels of sexual assault and violence, and considers this the apex of the sublime. Or possibly he has tear duct cancer, which frankly is the only way I’d ever envision those benighted canals to ever see the slightest hint of activity. The gouts of escaping dust when they fired up must have been horrendous.
Erik A.
January 28th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Josh, I think the joke in Panel Three was “Or is it perfume?” As in, haha, what’s with all the fire?
Alex Blaze
January 28th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Judging by the sultry look in Margo’s eye in panel 3, I’m guessing “this” refers to Nora mentioning Margo’s only weakness: schoolgirls.
No, that’s not a lesbian joke. It’s a Wizard of Oz joke, because them schoolgirls have a way of throwing around buckets of water like there’s no tomorrow, or at least that’s what Margo’s heard.
Hey, 2000th post! Congrats!
McManx
January 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
D Tracy — I know this is supposed to be two different people, but Tracy and this guy resemble each other in a “This is your Dick…This is your Dick on drugs” kind of way.
RMMD — Rexie sure prissed up in panel two; he looks like Joel Gray in Caberet.
Crankshaft — I’m afraid that I keyed on the word “violation” here. Perhaps Crankshaft is remorseful for violating some of the kids on his bus. Afterall, he did nickname them the “roughriders”.
queek
January 28th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Amos has one less thing to worry about:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/01/28/uk.cello.scrotum.hoax/index.html
Mutts seems to have borrowed the punometer from MG&G.
MC: what they don’t tell you about catgirls. Destructive, but cute.
Tank: at least its not another week of Lions bashing.
JP: thank you, Mr. Baretto
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
#15 aric – The “Fear-Away” ad is for F.E.A.R. 2, a video game, but I’m unsure as to what either that or the Asian dating site is doing here.
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
#18 shMerker – I’m glad I’m not the only one who interpreted it that way.
Donald the Anarchist
January 28th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
DT I have a hard enough time figuring out what’s supposed to be funny in POS legacies like Crock and Blondie. No WAY am I giving a guy named Dick the same courtesy.
RMMD “Rex, didn’t we once have a boy? A boy we lost? My memory’s so fuzzy ever since you started giving me the happy pills.”
A3G “Let me see a picture. Oh, he’s so good-looking. You know that means he’s cheating on you, right? Good, then Margo’s work is done.”
Malethoth K
January 28th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
18, 25 – That was what I thought, too.
Spider-Man – I half-suspect that “the electric company” is a football team, and that this flashback is unrelated.
Luann – Luann thinks she’s a head of cattle… or is she a head of cattle?
Frippin in the Krotz
January 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Marmaduke: “It’s not his normal smile…he just ate a 7-year-old girl who drank milk every day, and her high-calcium bones did a spectacular job on his tartar problem.”
Yanni
January 28th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
RMMD: I think the artist started drawing June, but than realized that it should be Rex and just changed the hair style.
Malethoth K
January 28th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
29 – Excellent theory. He also added cheekbones, though.
cheech wizard
January 28th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
FC – Billy has a cute way of letting his parents know that he killed the cat. Again.
Archie – Why is Miss Grundy wearing jodhpurs and handing out her quiz on 11×18 sheets of paper?
Big Dog – The man on the right seems exceptionally composed, considering that he’s gazing into hellish maw of the gullet down which he will shortly disappear. Either he’s terribly naive or today’s comic was guest-authored by Rudyard Kipling.
FW – “Remember how we said there’s no ‘I’ in team? Well, commit another five turnovers and there won’t be any ‘U’ either.”
DtM – But they do come in different flavors, Dennis! Like roof tar, bird droppings, fly ash and gutter mold, not to mention 28 dazzling carcinogens and other toxins commonly used in the manufacture of asphalt shingles.
OBH – Harlot in training – a few more years and she’ll be ready to move up to a job as one of Tiffany’s friends in LuAnn.
MC – Ed nails this one. Bliss.
Uncle Lumpy
January 28th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
1. Perhaps Luann thinks she’s a head of cattle!
2. In the last month or so, My Cage seems to have made the transition from “sitcom” (e.g., Blondie, Sherman’s Lagoon) to “character-driven comedy” (e.g., Doonesbury or Sally Forth). Nice! Of course, the next stop is “mind-numbing repetition of the same goddamn tropes” (e.g., Cathy, Marmaduke, Hagar the Horrible, Garfield, and oh, so many others). But I’m going to enjoy this little plateau as long as it lasts.
3. Many thanks to the unsung genius who coined “Assholine Galley.” (Teh Google says it was Arglebargle .) Sir or madam, you have enriched our lives!
4. Josh, congratulations on your 2000th post!
Cheese-n-Pear
January 28th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
What I particularly loved about today’s Dick Tracy is that the misplaced bolded text was perfectly positioned so as to transform the usual inane and unlikely dialog into total barking insanity. (Excuse me, I think I meant “total barking insanity.”)
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
RBS is like the printed version of the guy in the Monty Python sketch: “No!!!!!! Time to lose!”
No congrats for bimillenipost because the post numbers are going up typically by fives now. Cheating!
Comrade Denny
January 28th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Archie: The AJGLU-3000’s Either/Or logic circuits only recognize to ways to express emotions. If one isn’t crying, one must be laughing. If one isn’t laughing, then one must be crying, never mind that neither is an appropriate response to the given situation. Humans either are laughing or they are crying. It’s all just 1’s and 0’s. That said, I can only hope that AJGLU-3000 keeps trying to make us laugh for fear of what will happen when it realizes how easy it is to make us cry.
BB: I love the toonishness of Miss Buxley physically lifting the smoke cloud in Panel 2. Also, who are those four men menacingly shrouded shadow? OGA, no doubt. I think I’ve figured out where Obama’s going to send the remaining Gitmo prisoners.
Curtis: “A gruesome discovery as a child’s dismembered and partially eaten remains were found crammed – some say ‘dragged’ – into an Anacostia River sewer pipe. Washington DC’s Department of CHUD Control is urging residents to remain calm.”
FC: So there’s 1 of 3 behaviors on the Macdonald Triad. If we go through the FC archives, I’m sure we can find the other two.
JP: How, maybe Sophie’s got more in common with Janie than I thought.
Zombie FOOB: I’ve ridden many a couch, never have I been unable to cover my feet with a blanket. Why is it, however, that comics, cartoons, and sitcoms invariably portray exposed feet as one of the inevitable inconveniences of sleeping on a couch?
MT: “Now lean in a little more, Patty. That’s good … now put your hand on on his antlers … yes … stroke it like you would a – perfect! Say, your coat’s really throwing off the composition. Would you mind taking it off? Nice. Nice. Would you mind undoing the top button on your shirt? And the next? And the next one? Great, great…”
RxMD: Panel 2 Rex looks like Michael York and Mickey Rourke had a child who inherited their plastic surgery.
Pop Culture Gangster
January 28th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I think everyone’s over-thinking Crankshaft (can’t believe I just said that). Very simply, he has had some traffic violations in the past year, some of which brought such joy to him that he’s shed tears. That time he ran over the foot of little Johnnie the soccer star the day before the big game? That was a good one. And that morning he terrorized the neighborhood by driving down the sidewalk, knocking over everyone’s mailboxes? If that doesn’t make you so happy you’ll weep, then there’s something wrong with you my friends.
Malethoth K
January 28th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Maybe Luann is a cattle of head?
pyano
January 28th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Is Margo concerned about Nora romancing Eric? I don’t see why. If worse comes to worse, she could just kill Nora and change her hairstyle to match that of the dead woman.
Pozzo
January 28th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
“Who would intentionally leave their son on a cruise ship?” Well, if the parents in Family Circus, Luann, or Curtis could afford a cruise, I think we have a few volunteers.
Annon
January 28th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
DtM Now Dennis is wearing saggy mummy pants. And apparently Joey is wearing baggy leggings. Jesus, how hard is it to draw cartoon pants?
The Not-So-Amazing Whitney
January 28th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Rex’s transition into Angelina Jolie is almost complete. Next up: a boob job, tattoos, and a brief but oversexed marriage to Billy Bob Thornton.
js
January 28th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
The random BOLDING is a legacy of comic books going back to the Golden Age. I read a bit where, I think, Archie Goodwin (longtime DC editor) addressed it as something that letterers used to believe made the comics easier to read, especially for kids. But he was writing about it as one of those things that was a total WTF tradition, rightly discarded in modern lettering.
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 28th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I can’t believe I sat through the whole thing (well, most of it, anyway) – but if you have 20 or minutes to
wastekillspend. check out the podcast link at the left: Johnny Hart’s grandson Mason Mastroianni talking about continuing the “B.C.” strip as a “legacy comic”.It’s not particulary riveting (except for one Comics Curmudgeon shoutout!) – neither Mason nor the interviewer are overly articulate – but gives a (minor) insight into the issues of being a “legacy” cartoonist.
About the only positive note I garnered from it was that it’s unlikely that future B.C. is going have much (if any) more of the overtly religious stuff Hart used to shove into the strip: Mason hemmed-and-hawed,about it, but I gather it’s because he just doesn’t care.
4 out 10 on the Tadpole Scale.
tb4000
January 28th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Curtis: Apparently Barry was the one that provided the suggestion for the most recent stimulus package.
Charterstoned
January 28th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
MT – It’s nice that Patty is looking out for Bucky’s business interests but couldn’t give a rat’s ass about Ken’s. The next word balloon will be Mark and Patty speaking in wide-eyed unison: “Say, maybe we can teach Bucky to take a picture of the two of US for the magazine article!” After all, there’s nothing in the wildlife rulebooks about animals shooting people.
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 28th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@ #40 – Annon:
Jesus, how hard is it to draw cartoon pants?
Apparently, for some, very hard indeed !
Master Softheart
January 28th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Looking out at the falling New England snow, it’s easy to be Softhearted about today’s comics:
JP: Sam decides that it is finally time to teach Sophie his own technique for dealing with being smarter than everyone else: emotional disengagement, boredom, and condescension. Remember, Sophie, arrogance is more than a social handicap, it’s a psychological defense mechanism!
Phantom: Oh my God – it all suddenly makes sense. Old Man Mozz is the Phantom’s narration box!
Ziggy: There is no way to read this that isn’t deeply disturbing and very few that aren’t also deeply repulsive. For a Ziggy comic, this counts as a win.
Garfield: Is this a character we should know, or in Jim Davis just shuffling in a random extra in service to the day’s gag? Well, either way, it’s getting Garfield out of his sensory-deprivation tank, so it counts as a good day.
MT: This plot strikes me as bizarre and borderline insane, like some kind of absurdist performance art. But then, I laughed at the bird strike plotline, so I suppose I should just trust that Elrod is really addressing a serious and widespread issue of domestic abuse caused by taking wild animals as pets.
9CL: Without exception, the only classical musicians I know who can afford to even buy costume jewelry (aside from what they wear while performing) are ones that come from ridiculously wealthy families and are gliding through a merciless, brutal profession on the wings of a massive inheritance or a trust fund. Other musicians, like one I know who left performance after getting his musicology Ph.D. to sell pianos because he wanted to get married and be certain that he would be able to eat each month, hate people like that.
BC: The thought that – lacking sophisticated metalworking skills – the Midnight Ornithologist tagged the bird with a small stone tablet featuring carved letters actually struck me as funny. There’s no evidence that this was actually part of the intended joke (and the “CLAMP” effect in the strip where the tag is attached suggests that it wasn’t), but given the improvement over the last year, I’m willing to cut this strip some slack. It remains the most experimental and dynamic of the zombies.
Dilbert: Technically, this is character driven comedy. It’s not very good, but when I think of how many strips that have been around for decades would be unable to effectively lever the established traits of a character to set up a joke, I still have to applaud.
Ed Power, My Cage guy
January 28th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Hey again kids.
See? This is why I didn’t want to start wrting again. I have work to do. :D But a few comments caught my eye from my last comment and…what the heck? It’s my birthday anyway. :)
Uncle Lumpy:
In the last month or so, My Cage seems to have made the transition from “sitcom” …to “character-driven comedy” … Nice! Of course, the next stop is “mind-numbing repetition of the same goddamn tropes” …But I’m going to enjoy this little plateau as long as it lasts.
Thanks. I’ve always tried to have the comedy be character driven. Berke Breathed wrote a great essay for a Bloom County book about ‘truth of character’ that I always try to keep in my mind. I fail a lot, but I do try. :)
But…what’s wrong with sitcoms? I love sitcoms.
Also, did you put up our tvtropes page? If so, thanks! I’m addicted to that site since someone here introduced me to it.
Pendragon
they say a hit song is like a three-minute novel. Today’s My Cage is like a thirty-second novel. Good stuff, like Updike on the comics page.
Whoa. Thanks. That’s totally undeserved, but…well, thanks (blushes). Updike is my favorite author. I screamed like Chuck Heston at the end of POTA when I read he’d passed on. That and my favorite alternative radio station switching over to a pop hits format the other week have really rocked my world. :(
Write me at mycagecomic@yahoo.com. I’d like to ask you something. BTW: Any of you can write me and Melissa at that e-mail address.
One-eyed Wolfdog
I definitely love the strip more when it indulges in old school Warner Brothers-style cartoon violence…
Yeah, I’m starting (and trying) to get more comfortable with sight gags. My comfort zone is dialogue, but Mel is such a talented artist I’m trying to break out of that.
and way, way less when it’s wallowing in the self-referential stuff which seems pretty played out to me.
YAY! Constructive criticism! One, question: Can you be more specific with “self-referential stuff” ? Do you mean, like, having to know the characters to get the joke, or the meta-humor?
Also, thanks to Uncle Jeff (yes, there is no ’s’ at the end of my last name, but even some of my best friends still forget that. :D ), Little Guy, Commadore John, Queek, migellito, cheech wizard,and anyone I missed for your feedback.
Charterstoned
January 28th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
RM – Rex is morphing into June.
Calico
January 28th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I haveth no snarketh today, but saw this and wanted to share.
THIS is what can happen when you get too close to wild animals – Sneaky, Bucky, Kangaroos, etc.:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece
To hell with water bowls and furballs by the fireplace.
Mighty Max King
January 28th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I recognize that Rex Morgan expression, it’s Derek Zoolander’s Blue Steel!
AeroSquid
January 28th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
BG: AW AW AW ! He’s so bodacious ! Snuffy is shootin’ himself some Rev-er-nooers and Co-eds tied to a tree.
BB: Never mind that smoking is illegal in gov’t buildings: That scene reminds me of fire fighting training in the Navy.
Blondie: Seriously, Bitch. Make me an economic sammich !
Crock: Judge: Hanging or Foreign Legion. Your choice !
Dilbert: Dilbert was part of the MS Flight Sim Team. He was SO close to developing a neural interface !
PBS: The inter-species bath-time sex thing is freaking me out !
Sherman’s Lagoon: Little Herman is introduced to web-porn.
Frog Applause: It’s like a scene from SAW: 7
Love is: To Us ! And our drunken perpetual pre-pubescent bodies !
Acadamia Waltz: Steve Dallas had not yet honed his date rape skilz in 1978. Kitzie ?
Brewster Rockit: Winky is man-sized SPLEEN !
FoobRetro: John is an Asshole.
GmG: John….I accidentally saw a video like this…in German.
Luanne: Knock Knock. Who’s there ? Cow. Cow who ? COW MOOOOOO !
Shaft: Bowel movements ?
Curtis: The Obama girls have a new BFF ! Or he was found semi-conscience in a dumpster. Great situational skilz there, comic family !
Ed Power, My Cage guy
January 28th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Oh and Uncle Lumpy…
We hope to avoid most of the “mind-numbing repetition of the same goddamn tropes” by having our characters change as the strip goes on. By the end of the strip, no one will be in the same place they are in as they are now. Marriages, kids, divorces, etc, will all happen over time. This year we have a marriage and a break up planned.
That is if we aren’t canceled before that. ;)
-Ed
troy macgregor
January 28th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Crankshaft: Oh, I guess that means Crankshaft probably bludgeoned a traffic cop with a bag of onions.
Calico
January 28th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
#48 – Happy Birthday Ed!
I think My Cage is getting better and better all the time, BTW. I like the irony and kernels of darkness within the laughs.
Occipital Lobe
January 28th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Curtis: Who was it yesterday who wrote the scenario about Barry being taken in by the Prez and his family? You win the kewpie doll.
Luann: Don’t be so literal, Luann. Just because you’re not technically bovine doesn’t mean that your date with Elwood won’t end up with your udders getting milked …
(I think I’d better go lie down.)
Krankenstein
January 28th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I’m inclined to agree with the ‘taking a dump’ interpretation of today’s Crankshaft. It’s a good thing for ol’ Crank that this isn’t FW, otherwise it’d be a sure sign of ass cancer. Even worse, an assole-ectomy would be out of the question, as that would involve tossing Ed’s entire corpus into the medical waste bin.
Cranky
January 28th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Mr. Power, My Cage is wonderful but what I really want is a Sunday Ed the Human to replace Ziggy in my local paper.
Comrade Denny
January 28th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
My Cage: I like the flaming telephone. Nice touch. I’ll have to start reading this regularly.
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
23. queek: But.. the destructiveness of catgirls only fuels the cute!
32. Uncle Lumpy: Actually, having read all of My Cage, I’d say it vacillates between moments of situation and moments of character-driven. I will add my voice that the meta moments should be spaced apart much more than they have been recently; but even those were enjoyable by themselves. It’s still a young strip and finding its paper-legs. But as long as they have winners like today’s strip at least twice a month, all can be forgiven. :)
(…I really need to find someone…)
Lack of sleep, bad sleep and simmering anger means I’ll continue to refrain from actual snarking, let it become incoherent. Or worse: boring.
But: Happy Birthday, Ed Power
s! (The fun of Previewing, kids!) You are well-liked in these parts, and happy any time you visit. Break-up and Wedding, eh? From the way things have been going the last two months… it’s certainly not impossible that the break-up would be Norm and Bridget… Very nice slow tension building there. Wedding is definitely Max and Violet. And oh, the disaster that will be! But a funny one, unlike foob. :)Poteet
January 28th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
PHANTOM — I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to be so deeply respected and possibly feared that everyone would address me, under all circumstances, as “O Poteet.” Not appealing, but I’m surprised Margo hasn’t made “O Margo” a requirement for living with her.
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Oh yeah, kudos on referencing a main character’s change of status by expository dialogue in a natural fashion. I hope we see Maureen’s boyfriend more often than we see Ashley’s… if she has one. :)
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Ed Power: I believe Wolfdog was talking about meta-humor; knowing the characters in order to get the joke is one facet of character-driven comedy, which is a good thing. Meta-humor is like salt: a little dash now and again is a good thing, as it helps keep tongue firmly in cheek (okay, salt doesn’t actually do that, but you know what I mean.)
Too much, on the other hand…well, you can look at a lot of second-string webcomics for examples of what happens when meta-jokes get out of hand. It becomes a crutch that the author relies on in lieu of actually being funny, and it makes them look like they’re striving to be hip or avant-garde. And if 9 Chickweed Lane has taught us anything, it’s that that level of pretentiousness is unbearable in the funny pages.
My Cage isn’t anywhere near that level at present; your meta-jokes have been entertaining (Monday’s was particularily well-executed,) but you do seem to be relying on them more often recently. Just remember that tapping on the glass every now and again is funny, but doing it every day will quickly make it lose its impact.
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
61. O Poteet: You already have True Fable address you as “Poteet my Queen” often enough, it shoudn’t be much of a stretch! :) :)
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Whoa, thanks for responding to everybody, Ed. By “self-referential stuff” I mean what you’re probably referring to as metahumor – strips where the main gag in the strip is somehow simply the fact that the characters are aware that they’re characters in a comic strip. Like, Duck Amok was fantastic, but then there was a huge run of cartoons in the nineties (probably starting with Tiny Toons) which beat the shit out of this particular formula, and it’s a (in my opinion) way too prevalent ingredient in a lot of webcomics – I’ll avoid naming names, but there are a few comics out there that I’d love to love except they fall back on “we’re aware that we’re in a comic strip” for humor all too often.
I really love a strip that I feel like I can fall into and live inside a little bit, and I’m a sufficiently head-in-the-clouds type that that’s easy for me to do even in as fantastical a universe as MyCage. But it’s jarring for me if the strip itself is deliberately breaking the fantasy all the time – and doubly so if it’s just for a cheap effect. I know some people love when the strip breaks the 4th wall, so take that all with a grain of salt, but I hope it gives a rough idea of which I was trying to say, over-tersely, before.
Your dialogue is frequently hilarious, though, don’t get the wrong message on that point. There are a lot of lines that are absolutely beautifully deployed and perfectly in character. I start chuckling every time I hear Max’s voice pop up my head saying “I’m such a fun boss!” – and your characters do sound in my head with clear voices, which is a tribute.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Whoa hella-jinx.
Poteet
January 28th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
# 48 Ed Power — Happy Birthday! I started reading MC about two weeks ago, and I like it.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
commodorejohn at #63 is spot-on with what I meant.
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
63. commodorejohn: I know of only one webcomic that dealt properly with the meta, because it was the whole foundation of the strip (cartoonist’s actual friends shown as drawn into a strip space, therefore leaving reality and entering drawn cartoon land with its own laws they try to figure out.. once they realise the narration box is their tormentor cartoonist. Its high point was a giant crossover into tons of other webcomics all part of the plot and extremely well-executed. Which then comes back to bite the cast in the behind in an extremely sudden change of pace/locale, which was never resolved, alas. But while it went, it was a fantastic brain-mangler. So far, it is the only one to have done lots of meta successfully and consistently funny.
So, I agree with you, in other words. :)
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
67. O Poteet: what took you so long?? Although it would be interesting to see what you’d think after reading all the archives in one sitting…
Baka Gaijin
January 28th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Luann: No, Luann, everyone thinks you’re the cattle’s other end.
cheech wizard
January 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Happy birthday, Ed – for what it’s worth, MC is one of the best new comics I’ve seen in years – gawd forbid that anyone should cancel you.
For what it’s worth, I had a psycho work spouse years ago at a former job, back before the term was coined. It was kinda stressful, because I was working next to this married chick who was bubbly fun and cordial at times, but who could immediately turn into a total pissed-off harpie. It wasn’t until I heard the term “work spouse” that I had a lens for understanding the relationship.
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
#69 Niall – Which one was that? The example of good meta I can think of is 1/0, which sadly ended a long time ago, but it was fantastic; the strip had no fourth wall whatsoever, and the cartoonist himself was a regular character, through his narration box, but it didn’t just rely on “look, we’re in a comic strip.” It was absurd, philosophical, creative, and entertaining. I highly recommend it.
James
January 28th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
On another note, isn’t this the 4th or 5th time in the last two years that Crankshaft has renewed his driving license?
Poteet
January 28th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Comic cooking — This question isn’t inspired (not that inspired is the right word) by anything I’ve read today, but I happened to wonder last night why, when a comic strip is trying to illustrate the kind of meal that no “normal” person would want to eat, the mentioned ingredient of choice is so often eggplant? STONE SOUP does this fairly often, but I’ve seen it in other comics. Not that eggplant is my favorite veggie, but among people I know, it’s liked well enough.
Or am I missing another food item that is used more often for such purposes? Besides fruitcake? And oh yeah, tofu. Which also isn’t bad. When prepared by a good cook. Not that I claim to be one. Sorry, this comment is getting longer than I planned. When I thought about eggplant and comics last night. Which I wouldn’t ordinarily think about, being occupied most of the time with thoughts that have significance and importance. Of course.
*slinks away*
Baka Gaijin
January 28th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Dennis the Menace: Follow Marmaduke around for the “lemon” and “chocolate” flavored icicles. They may even be a little warm, too!
cheech wizard
January 28th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
LuAnn – You’re not cattle LuAnn – you’re way too thin for a cow. No, what you are is a chicken – and a scrawny one at that. Probably the stewing type that would benefit from a few hours in the pressure cooker.
Uncle Lumpy
January 28th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
#61 O Poteet –
You say Poteet-O, I say Potaht-O!
Aviatrix
January 28th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
On another note, isn’t this the 4th or 5th time in the last two years that Crankshaft has renewed his driving license?
Every time he gets a 30-day suspension he has to go back to the DMV for the re-issue.
Poteet
January 28th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
# 70 Niall — I try to limit my daily comic reading to a certain number, and when I dumped GF, I replaced it with MC. And you’re right, I should have started MC sooner. I may resume GF if any of the characters are ever shown outside the apartment again, but I’ll keep MC.
Thanks for giving me a brief taste of “O Poteet.” Definitely it’s better suited to Margo:-). And I hope you’ll soon feel like snarking again. May your sleep tonight be long and peaceful.
Poteet
January 28th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
# 70 Niall — And as evidence that incoherent and boring comments are very kindly allowed here, I present # 75. Not that providing such evidence was my original intention:-).
Crankenstank
January 28th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I’m rarely a stickler for narrative details here, but in what universe is the DMV asking a driver — a school bus driver, at that — whether they have any moving violations and not just checking their own $#)@)@ing computers? Because, I’d love to register my car in the state of that parallel universe. Then I could plow it into Ed’s with impunity. Although I’d probably catch cancer at the same time, come to think of it, since he’s in Funky Winkerbean’s world. No, I’ll stick to my own reality where the people in charge of tracking moving violations don’t use the honor system.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
“he’s just flexing his face muscles at random and hoping for the best”
That’s why the boss makes the big bucks.
Also, #51 Mighty Max: spot on
But, Josh, I take exception to your statement that “all strips” do the Random Bolding Syndrome. Yeah, maybe. But Judge Parker is the clear all-time-champ at this.
Joe Blevins
January 28th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
A3G can barely maintain sustained interest in two of its 3 titular Gs, and this ancillary-to-an-ancillary thinks she’s getting a storyline?!? Take your healthy, fulfilling relationship and peddle it on Rose is Rose, missy, where that sort of thing is tolerated!
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
75 Poteet: O Eggplant! Food of the gods! …when prepared properly. A local Chinese restaurant has an Eggplant and somethingelseIforget as a sizzling dish – which is poured on the hot plate at the table, not in the kitchen. I nearly died and went to heaven right there. Since eggplant does not reheat, we were forced (gasp!) to eat it all in the restaurant. Sacrifices! :)
So yeah, I don’t get it either, other than it has a funny shape, and funny shapes are goldmines to cartoonists.
78. Uncle Lumpy: I should hurt you, but I’m giggling too much. And that pretty much nails the coffin of that in-joke.
80/81 Poteet: Ah, I expect then you have more comics on your reading plate than I have. I could add another 5 or 6 easily. Also, your ramblings are far more entertaining and intelligent than mine, I daresay. (So are most other mudgeons’.)
69. Commodorejohn: I’ve heard of 1/0 but never read it. This shall be the impetus. The one I know is called Framed!, and is drawn by someone I knew of my days in the university student newspaper. He was fairly well-known in the webcomics community, doing articles in well-read websites dealing with said community, but his life took a different turn a few years ago and he seems mostly out of it now. A shame.
Malethoth K.
January 28th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
My favorite webcomic to deal with meta was Kris Straub’s Checkerboard Nightmare, because it did it so ruthlessly and angrily and cleverly, and it was meta about meta and by the time it ended my head had exploded. Unfortunately, the archives aren’t available for the most part, since he’s re-running them with creator commentary. I haven’t bothered to check it out.
Malethoth K.
January 28th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Also, I think it’s worth noting that Vaporware the homicidal, droll robot showed up three years before HK-47 and CAD’s Zeke.
gnome de blog
January 28th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
49 Charterstoned (and others, more or less) said:
No Rex, two Junes. I can live with that. I mean, June is really just as prissy and fussy as Rex, but she looks way better in a skintight spaghetti-strap dinner dress.
75 Poteet:>/b>
Eggplant has a funny name. If we called it aubergines or melanzane it would get such a bum rap. Can’t say the same for tofu.
You actually made a good point. You can come back now.
Phoebe Katz
January 28th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
My newspaper stopped carrying Apt. 3-G some years back. The strip seems to have changed artists since then. The characters all remind me of Superman’s Bizarro characters: http://www.toonopedia.com/bizarro1.htm.
gnome de blog
January 28th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
88 me:
I messed up my bolding. As penance I’ll read Dick Tracy for a week.
thehollis
January 28th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Good lord, Dick Tracy is on the porch of Ronald Reagan and Don Knott’s lovechild. I hope the next villain is a hybrid of Marty Feldman and Jimmy Carter.
CanuckDownSouth
January 28th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
#75-Poteet: Maybe many cartoonists come from a generation/ background where eggplant was a rare, weird veggie, and usually badly prepared by cooks not used to it. The first eggplant I recall was a family dinner, and I’m pretty sure (my mind tries to forget) that it was steamed and served with no sauce. It wasn’t until about a decade later that I discovered eggplant marinara, grilled eggplant sandwiches, and Thai or Chinese dishes which involved eggplant.
Trogdor
January 28th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Luann: Okay, let me get this straight. When their plan to make money by charging guys to see Tiffany in a wet T-shirt failed, they’ve moved on to the escort business. (What else do you call it when someone pays you to go out on a date with them). I suppose at least this gives Luann two things to console her. First, in her later years, and to the disbelief of all, she can now tell people she worked as a paid escort when she was younger. Second, she clearly won’t be the last escort that this creep is going to pay to spend time with him.
9CL: Once more I have to see that I fully understand what’s going on. Edda’s career may be in jeopardy because she has had sex with her long term, very serious boyfriend, because someone illegally filmed her doing it and even more illegally posted those pictures on the internet, and because thousands of people have gone to the internet specifically to find and watch pictures of her and Amos making the beast with two backs. (Those sorts of things don’t come up like pop-up ads, you know.) The only part of this Edda is actually responsible for is the having sex part. And I find it hard to believe that anyone is going to even blink at finding out that a 19 yo (or so) living and working in NYC is (gasp) having sex with her boyfriend. For God’s sake, we’re not in the 50s where premarital sex is considered bad. Most people would probably tell her it’s about time.
Dan B
January 28th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Panel 2 Rex Morgan is the spitting image of Klaus Nomi. See here. Lightning, apparently, strikes Rex again.
Charterstoned
January 28th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
88 – RMMD – Sure, June the way she looks NOW! If I were more HTML-savvy, I’d post a vintage panel to remind you of what she USED to look like back in the day. Somewhere right after she had her baby, June morphed from Sexless Insipid June into what you know and love today. And that whole baby thing sure happened fast, now that I think about it–it took Rex about a bazillion years to even notice June’s gender, then he put his arm around her one day when they were sitting on a sofa, and the next thing I knew, they had gotten married, had a baby, and undergone that amazing makeover. Geez, you skip a couple of days in the comics and all hell breaks loose. (Except in Mark Trail, of course.)
CanuckDownSouth
January 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Oh, and JP? Sophie not having these problems before just means you lucked out for a little while. Majorly. Previously-homeless, smart kid, dressed funny (for an 11-yr-old, until recently) – only in the comics world where a special needs student can climb up on a table, speechify to teens, and have them become insta-tolerant, is that *not* going to be a problem from Day One.
Perky Bird
January 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
9CL– Maybe we’ve gotten this all wrong. Edda’s career isn’t in jeopardy because she had sex and a tape of it was plastered all over the Internet and international TV. Her career is in jeopardy because she wasn’t having sex with Amos–they were actually just doing that silly hand jive stuff and are such innocents that they thought that is how you make love. And the tape was posted on the internet for all to mock. Now her dance company is angry because everyone thinks they hire only complete dolts, or that they are a special dance school for the mentally challenged.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Oh, and Ed! Happy Birthday! It is a catchy song for you.
(Ha ha, OK, here, I will tell you some important bits:
Remek a hangulatom, ma van a szülinapom = “I’m in such a good mood, today’s my birthday!”
Nem tudom a szövegemet = “I don’t know my line”,
and – this is the one no-one should travel without –
Hol a torta = “Where’s the cake?”)
True Fable
January 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
# 61 – POTEET, MY QUEEN!!
O Poteet… yes that does have a dashing, grandiose, MGM-Technicolor kind of roll that would have been tailor-made for a Charleton Heston biblical movie. “O Poteet, you who tend the fields and valleys of Earth, hearken unto my cry and witness my pitiful offering of snark…” Ahhh.
But I am your true knight, my dear, and I will leave the thunderous tones of such noble language to those whose lantern jaws can form the words just right. I have a duty to my queen, even if it does come out as a less-than stentorian mid-tone Southern Drawl when I address you. One can only do what one can within one’s limits, o liege.
Sequitur
January 28th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
C’mon Luann, admit it. You’re just a dang cow ripe for milking.
queek
January 28th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
75: you forgot squid.
MC Mr Power: you’re welcome, thank you, and keep up the great work! Oh, and since you mentioned TVTropes (great maker what a time-hole that site is!) I have a two-word suggestion for you:
Beach Episode!!! :-D
also, someone yesterthread mentioned Kate Worley. I met her briefly, and Reed on several longer occasions, and they were neat people. I miss Omaha greatly, it was an awesome comic. One of these days, the final wrap-up will see print.
kalki
January 28th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
9CL: You know it just occurred to me that Juliette is supposedly still on her fiery path to Belgium to intervene in Amos and Edda’s personal life. Amos has already instinctively protected his groin by buying what we presume is an engagement ring for Edda. But, in Brooke’s warped imagination, I sense an upcoming moment when Amos will be on his ass on the floor looking up at Juliette in fear just before she pulls a Mrs. Robinson on him to get him out of Edda’s life. I see this all leading up to some awful Panther Woman vs Superlative Girl showdown.
Then I yawn, see something shiny across the room and wander off to more interesting matters.
MoroccoMole
January 28th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Mazel tov on hitting 2000!
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
101 queek: …thank you. Should I ever meet Ms DeJesus, I now know what to ask her to draw in my sketchbook. :) :) (Not even one guess.)
Anonymous
January 28th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
#75 Poteet – When I read your comments, I thought you were channeling Jerry Seinfeld: “Hey, what’s the deal with eggplant, anyway?”
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
#75 Poteet – I can’t speak for professional humorists, but I dislike eggplant because of the texture. Disgusting.
Chance
January 28th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Haiku to Rex Morgan
Autistic doctor
Practices his Guido face.
June talks on, unheard.
Tamatra
January 28th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I thought Crankshaft was talking about, er… sexual violations. Then I freaked out, because I had just connected Crankshaft and sex.
I feel dirty.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I believe it’s been scientifically proven that watching too much daytime TV will actually turn you into an eggplant.
markytom
January 28th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Maybe if Dick Tracy had said, “Or is it PERFUME? nudge, nudge, wink, wink” we would have a little better idea what he was alluding to.
Bryan
January 28th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
1) Count me in for liking My Cage. Question: What species is the platypus’s girlfriend?
2) Count me in for liking tvtropes.org, too. Warning: It will kill your productivity deader than Dixie Julep.
3) Congrats to Josh for the 2000th post. If anyone hasn’t already, I highly recommend going back and reading the archives. I’ve laughed myself unconscious over them.
4) Luann: So, let me see if I’ve got this right, because I’m movin’ kinda slow at the junction: Luann was perfectly willing to whore out Tiffany for the money but when it’s her ass on the line all of the sudden she’s got scruples? Gimme a freakin’ break. Give the guy a hand job for an even thousand instead of $950 and pocket the extra money.
odinthor
January 28th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
#106. commodorejohn. –
Generally speaking, professional humorists have much better texture than eggplant. Oscar Levant was a bit tough, as I recall, and it could be said that Robert Benchley was best with a little sauce; but, on the whole, whenever the menu offers a choice, I always choose a professional humorist over an eggplant.
Galuaboy
January 28th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Ed Power: I love “My Cage” and look forward to it every day! I am also impressed by an artist who not only reads the comments on this site, but who takes them as constructive criticism and even encourages feedback. Can I take self-confidence lessons from you?
Shifting gears . . . in the Crankshaft debate, I’m voting for bowel movements only because it’s the most disgusting interpretation and that’s what I expect from the Shaft.
Little Guy
January 28th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Now I know what the Wilkins family is gasping at on the TV… Breaking News coverage of Pope Josh’s 2000th blogpost!
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
#111 Bryan – Count me in among the TVTropes
hopeless addictsfans.migellito
January 28th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Phantom – Mozz doesn’t sound like the name of an elderly African wise man. It sounds like the nickname of an American jazz musician who moved to Africa to wear traditional clothes and discover the culture behind his music. And that’s how I’ll view him from this point forward.
Bootsy
January 28th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Happy Birthday, Ed Power, writer of My Cage! I recently added MC to my comics reading, and I like it. When I say the pink-haired chick who is the girlfriend of Norm is an annoying drain of life’s energy, it is a great compliment because I’m actually thinking about the characters. (I know many here like pink-hired girl. let’s just say it takes all types.)
O Poteet! Hmm. I like it. Don’t like eggplant though. Not at all. And I’ve had it prepared by some awesome chefs and I still don’t like it. Even when they call it aubergine on the menu.
vanya
January 28th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
#97 – That would make sense, except for the fact that we know Brooke is a perv. So I think we have to assume the opposite – that Edda and Amos jumped straight to some sort of horrific exhibition of every paraphilia you can think of, with toilet play and bondage, and possibly even mutilation, featuring heavily.
SpiffBereft
January 28th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Re: RMMD panel 2: It finally happened. Mary Worth’s smug condescension has grown too large and uncontrollable for her own strip and is manifesting randomly in other strips.
UncleJeff
January 28th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
DT: Dear Old Professor Meltedface looked so happy when he was making perfume/blowing up things.
Then, a knock at the door.
And there stands Dick.
gnome de blog
January 28th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Edda’s career is in jeopardy because she’s in Belgium screwing off when she should be working.
UncleJeff
January 28th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
or..There stood Dick.
I gotta learn how to work that “preview” button.
ConcreteQueen
January 28th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
My new definition of hell — being in line behind Crankshaft at the DMV.
One Happy Claude
January 28th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
A couple of years ago, in the weeks leading up to when Josh reached post #1000, there was a ton of anticipation and nostalgic “flashbacks” to earlier posts. Now that he’s a grizzled old-timer in the blogging world, #2000 is just another brick in the wall without much notice or mention.
Well, the hell with that! Congrats, Josh, on page #2000! Keep up the great work. Other than complaining about how often you go on vacation, your loyal readers are behind you all the way and appreciate the great work.
Josh
January 28th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
To answer questions in a general way about the ads: Some of my ads are auto-generated by Google with each page load; those are the ones that can change every time you open the site. In theory Google’s magic computers tailor these ads based on the site content (though so much weirdness is discussed here that they can go in some pretty strange directions). Other ads are from Project Wonderful, an auction-based service that started out in the Webcomics community, and which thus has a lot of comics-related ads, though it’s no longer exclusively so. These ads are a bit more stable but change if the current ad is outbid. Finally, there are the ads from BlogAds, which are bought for set blocks of time and will be there for a week or more. These are the ones that I give hat-tips to every week in the COTW post. Ads from the latter two services are here because some human decided that my site was a good spot for advertising, for whatever reason. For more information go here!
And thanks for people’s kind words on the 2000th post! I had almost missed it myself! Good lord, I’ve been doing this for a long time.
crazyjerseygirl
January 28th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
oh God OH GOD!!!
Is Crankshaft about poo?!?!?!
And futhermore did that Dick-Tracy-scientist’s mouth reverse? Could have sworn it was the other way around……
These Strange Worlds
January 28th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Happy birthday Mr. Power…
For the record, My Cage is the one ex-Houston Chronicle comic I never ever miss — and considering the number of ex-Chronicle comics out there, that’s saying a lot.
My favorite character is Ashley. If I had a work wife, I’d want one just like her.
My least favorite is Squishy. Bleh. I suppose the natural pet for a world of animals would be a little naked human, so I suppose a protozoa is a good compromise!
Story arc I’d like to see the most: More crossovers!
Baka Gaijin
January 28th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
#119 SpiffBereft: That reminds me. This is, what, the third storyline in a row Mary’s been out of the meddling. She complained about having a beagle for a week without even nosing into the rightful owner’s life and problems. Next she took a leave of absence with the the enormoushop.com incident, subcontracting the self-righteous browbeating to a new black-clad hottie. Then she let the answering machine tear down Dr. Wuss’ self esteem in the Mary-steps-out-on-Dr. Jeff-but-makes-him-feel-like-it’s-his-fault and shrimp scampi arc. Which brings us to upstate New York, since mid-October last year, where she barely got her buttinsky wet.
She’d better be conserving her biddying for a meddlegasm of biblical proportions this summer. We’re due for another Aldomania. Aldomania! ALDOmania! ALDOMANIA!
These Strange Worlds
January 28th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
125
Josh on Ads
A perfect time for me to note that two weeks of Project Wonderful ads here and elsewhere cost me about $60 and generated over a thousand hits for my otherwise obscure blog and web page. (Sure, most were just looky lous stopping by for a quick look at the train wreck, but not all).
It’s genuinely easy to use, fun, and a lot cheaper than golf.
What more can you ask for?
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 28th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
leaving the snark aside for a moment….
Congratulations and felicitations on your birthday, Ed Power! Count me (thanks to CC) as another My Cagefan!
And congrats as well to Josh (and all of us) on yet another blog-o-millenium of comics snark and community mockery! May this be the first two of many thousands of pages to come!
…now back on track…
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 28th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Here’s my favorite text ad I’ve seen on here.
Harry F
January 28th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Rex Morgan in panel two is actually getting strange feeling in the nether regions. That doesn’t happen around women. In Panel three, he’s going at it Herb and Jamal style. Note June’s encouragement: “Anything is possible!”
cheech wizard
January 28th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Not to be a party pooper, but as someone mentioned above, this isn’t Josh’s 2000th post – if you scroll back, you see the post numbers have been advancing irregularly, sometimes by 5, sometimes 12 – but the sum of it is, we’re still a ways from #2000. What’s really too bad is that when J2K finally does arrive, we won’t know unless someone goes back and does some really good bookkeeping.
gnome de blog
January 28th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
#133, cheech:
Literalist. If it’s Post #2000, that’s good enough for me. Party on!
Jen X
January 28th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Oh God, secret shame time — back in my avid Archie-reading days (so, two weeks ago), I used to amuse myself more than is sane by reading the word balloons the way they were emphasized. It reads as if William Shatner found himself in need of money, and took to whoring himself with
annoying advertising gigspenning comic texts.cheech wizard
January 28th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Curtis – Ok, it’s going to turn out that Barry’s on TV as the adorable little lost boy who’s someone managed to find his way into the good graces of the Obamas. By the time Greg and Diane can get to DC to retrieve him, they’ve become the national poster couple for bad parenting. Obama launches a new child welfare program to replace No Child Left Behind, called “Don’t Be a Wilkins.”
Both Barry and Curtis are placed into foster care, but can’t go to the same home because Curtis is in the hospital in traction. Barry ends up with a loving upper middle class family that runs a puppy rescue and ice cream shop in an idyllic little town out in the country; Curtis eventually ends up with a chain-smoking, foul-tempered Medusa who’s gaming the system for the support checks. She has 14 other charges, two of whom are Derrick and Onion.
Greg and Diane seek to redeem themselves and agree to go on Oprah to tell their side of the story. At the last minute, they learn they’ve been hoodwinked and it’s actually Jerry Springer. Their protestations of innocence are shouted down by an angry audience of single mothers who took their kids out of school to come to the show with them.
Gunk comes to Curtis and the others and offers to fix things with the help of some Flyspeck Island magic. He gives everyone a special potion to drink before going to bed, and when they wake up, everything will be as it was before. They do as he directs and the next day, George W. Bush is president once again, having been sworn in for an inexplicable third term. Everyone beats the living crap out of Gunk.
Vince M
January 28th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
RMMD, panel 2: “I call this look ‘Blue Steel’!”
Man, I’m suddenly hungry for eggplant. I can’t stand the stuff when it has the texture of a freeze-dried kitchen sponge, but a nice ratatouille or spicy braised style would hit the spot. My local Chinese restaurant does it to a custardy texture that is the awesome.
Malethoth K
January 28th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
136 – I think you mean Derrick and “Onion”.
Gal Friday
January 28th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
More fun with Dick Tracy!
“Is it disemboweling? Or is it disemboweling?”
“Is it electrocution? Or is it electrocution?”
“Is it ground into ground beef by a tank? Or is it ground into ground beef by a tank?”
Gal Friday
January 28th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
#137–excellent! Happy memories of Zoolander!
Jamus The Bartender
January 28th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
My Cage: Happy Birthday , Ed. Aside from Cassandra Cat, the ladies of My Cage, Ashley, Bridget, Violet and Maureen are amongst my favorite comic strip characters, but then , that should be obvious.
Also, Happy 2000th post, Josh. Here’s to 2000 more.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Those Citigroup execs, who bought that $50 million jet with bailout money, must be fans of the Patersons
GT: Apparently Bobcat hoops isn’t a big thing at Central
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
January 28th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Josh, The bold S in RBS in the post link is a nice touch!
CupOJoe
January 28th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I happen to love eggplant parmigiana, it’s a real pain in the ass to make but when done right, it’s heaven.
So I think I understand what Fonzie’s nephew Spike wants: he doesn’t want the original “Luann video”, he wants to make one of his own. But let’s look at it this way: he may look like a dork, but he’s a friggin’ millionaire! Marry the sucker, wait till he does something stupid (which he will, sooner or later), then you can dump him, drop out of high school and spend the rest of your life eating lobster and sipping pina coladas at your beach house in Maui, and buying the best Winnie the Pooh panties money can buy.
Angersloth
January 28th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Looks like the artists over at Rex Morgan, H.Q. forgot they were drawing Rex and started to draw June before realizing their mistake!
CCMars
January 28th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Luann: I’m not liking where this storyline is going. And Bernice? For the 9000th time, please die. I’ve had high school enemies that were better friends than you.
Islamorada Girl
January 28th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Dick Tracy: Would YOU let this man make a perfume for you?
I didn’t think so. Maybe if he wore an eyepatch.. .
O Poteet! O Poteet!* How I love that mambo beat!
Keep on snarkin’, Sister O Poteet!
*Master Snarker Who Comments.
Mibbitmaker
January 28th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Ed Power of MC loves sitcoms (hopefully the good ones), metahumor, referenced Planet of the Apes, lets characters’ situations change in the strip (sort of the anti-Curtis… or the anti-almost-every-TV-show-comic-strip-or-comic-book-that-always-forces-their-creation-to-return-to-the-status-quo-no-matter-how-played-out ….of Ulm), and I think a couple other things from yesterthread. As well as comes here as much as he does in general. Coolest comics person on the planet!
ED POWER POWER!
(Oh, and I did the unnecessary pluralization thingy myself a couple threads back. Sorry ’bout that, Chief)
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
#144 CupOJoe – Hey, if Vern Troyer can do it…
Talking Squirrel
January 28th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
#50 Calico sez:
THIS is what can happen when you get too close to wild animals – Sneaky, Bucky, Kangaroos, etc.:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece
———————————
Interestingly — according to the link on the right side of that article — it appears that the very same raccoon seems to have gone rabid and subsequently killed a “BBQ Dad”.
“Alexander Kirilov, 44″ may have bigger issues than bobbitry to deal with, if he’s transmitting rabies to innocent wildlife. He’d best keep a bleary eye out for the RFO’J.
LITTLE A. WITH THE CRYSTAL BALL WHO HAS NEVER WON THE LOTTERY
January 28th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
56: Curtis: That was me, last week. Give credit where credit is due. Thank you everyone. Every once in a while my crystal ball works
Rest in peace, John Updike.
gnome de blog
January 28th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
147 Islamorada Girl said:
Eau d’orchidée noire?
Comrade Denny
January 28th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
#151 – Little A…
Updike is one of my favorite writers. My graduate thesis was entitled “Lesbian Themes and Homo-hustling in John Updike’s Name.”
Speaking of Updike, just think how differently today’s Hi & Lois strip would have ended had he been at the pen.
Mr. O'Malley
January 28th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
O Poteet. The late great Al Scaduto used squid frequently. Piranha Club uses octopus. I just noticed somewhere else (maybe on the history of TV comedy that PBS is running) meatloaf being used. Not to mention all those seasonal fruitcake jokes that somehow manage to ignore the fact that a good fruitcake is a delight to consume.
I think eggplant is used because it sounds funny. Maybe also because if you don’t cook it properly it is either bland or absorbs a lot of grease.
Eggplant used in Chinese cooking is a different smaller variety which I prefer in stirfries and such.
Guacamole, and burritos and bean dip are also considered funny-sounding foodstuffs.
sugarpie
January 28th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Congrats Josh! I havent been at your site long but I do know it’s not easy being consistant and funny- and you do it with such good will and generosity. I wish you continued success.
I’m going to miss Updike’s recent spate of art reviews for NYRB. As to the fiction, he was rewarding when I had the fortitude to push through and concentrate. The literary scene is undoubtedly affected by his passing.
Thibault
January 28th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
As a former
Bus DriverTransit Operator, I should point out that Crank can’t just go down la-la-la renew his driver’s license. He has to have a commercial license because ‘ol number 13 has a GVWR over 26,000 lbs. She has air brakes…that’s another test. He transports more than 16 passengers…that’s another test. He has to pass a DOT medical exam (ick!ick!ick!ick!) before they’ll even let him apply! His (asshole) cat Pickles has a better chance of driving a bus than that old crone does!Muffaroo
January 28th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
9CL – Between Amos’s freakish face and the dopey camera angle, I feel like I’m looking at an episode of “Batman” from the 60s. Bam! Pow! Barf! (And hello to commodorejohn @y213, whose comment was just different enough from mine that I’m going to go with it anyway.)
FCircus – Fixing it in Photoshop so Billy’s holding the cat by a leg or tail is too time-consuming. Fortunately, we can always just change the cat’s eyes to Xs, and it’s Mission Accomplished.
FBasset – Speaking of dead animals, all this one needs is a comma between “Drop Dead” and “Gorgeous.” Mission Accomplished.
Luann – Ha ha the socially inept rich nerd is a Trekkie. Groundbreaking stuff on Aisle Five.
MTrail – “I don’t really need pictures of the pet deer by the fire.” “Just stand in front of this blue screen.”
They could get one of the three of them together if the raccoon’s around. And if the camera’s waterproof.
Mduke – “I’d just kiss that golf ball goodbye if I was you.”
MWorth – “Hey, whatever it takes, honey… Say, I’m shrinking, aren’t I?”
Momma – Francine seems to be modeling a BC ™ Caveman Suit in the second panel.
Mutts – The parade of real pets of the cartoonist’s friends continues.
RMMD – There’s a face just made for use by photoshopping parodists.
6Chix – Seems like every time I find one of these amusing, it’s by Piccolo. If she was batting 1.000, the strip would be batting .166.
monsieurjohn
January 28th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Rex knows exactly what he’s doing with his face, and it’s called Blue Steel. Or maybe Le Tigre, or Magnum.
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
…I’m now going through 1/0. I think I see what you mean, Commodorejohn. I guess it’s good I’m too tired to do cleaning…
Niall
January 28th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Oh, and whether or not it’s Josh’s 2000th post, it’s still post #2000 no matter what! :)
Joe Blevins
January 28th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Panel two Rex looks like one of the doomed androids from A.I., perhaps a Gigolo-Bot version 1.0, made obsolete by the likes of Jude Law. I can imagine Rex, just as he’s being shot out of a cannon at a Flesh Fair: “Wait! I know how to yaaaaaaacht!“
commodorejohn
January 28th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
#159 Niall – Indeed. It starts out a bit slow, but it gets better as it goes; by the end, it’s damn good.
Josh
January 28th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
#133 cheech wizard — huh, that’s … really weird. Weirder, if you try to plug one of the “missing” numbers into the URL, you get redirected to the nearest actual post. Not sure when that started — maybe when I updated to the latest version of WordPress a couple of months ago? A look at the blog’s admin platform shows that I have 1849 posts, so the bimillinipost is a ways off.
Josh
Old Doc Yak
January 28th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Say what you will about the Phantom. His strip beats the shit out of Spiderman. The Phantom actually occasionally does something, such as. . . umm, pilot a tugboat and Old Man Mozz, who is like my favorite Phantom character ever, after that little pygmy leader guy who knows how to cure ebola. Nobody in Spiderman knows how to do jack shit. What the hell does Spiderman actually do? In his previous incarnation, watch TV and whine. In his current incarnation, I’m betting, the exact opposite–whine and watch TV. Oh, and bitch about his broken camera, while Electro tells his origin (yawn) story.
Oh. And God DAMN I hate 9 Chickweed Lane now. There. I said it.
sugarpie
January 28th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
#163 Wow. Bummer Josh. But I wont take any of it back.
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 12:03 am
163/Josh – Yeah, it’s kind of a drag, too. I remember where J1K came around and it was kinda like a party here, esp. since one of the mudges (I forget who) had been building it up for a week or so beforehand. But, being from Metro Detroit, I can at least offer congrats on turning over the odometer, so to speak.
sugarpie
January 29th, 2009 at 12:06 am
More posts, Mule!
Li'l Bunnë FooFoo
January 29th, 2009 at 12:13 am
js@42:
Fascinating! I’d always wondered about that. Especially in Mad Magazine, when the excessive bolding always made me imagine the lines being read by a very bad actor.
And re: Crankshaft: Yes, when in doubt, shoehorn a bad pun into a manufactured situation using the characters available to you. Why, it’s hardly noticeable,even reduced to two wide panels.
Muffaroo
January 29th, 2009 at 12:19 am
Speaking of MAD, they’re cutting back to a quarterly schedule. Dang. It’s not like I read it more than once in a blue moon (I picked up a half dozen for a quarter each last year at the library, and haven’t finished reading those yet), but I hate to see the passing of such a proud institution. “Our Publishing Schedule: Quarterly (Cheap!)”
Doctor To
January 29th, 2009 at 1:18 am
The nonplussed expression on the face of the perfume maker (or is it “maker”) can be chalked up to the fact that after going undercover as a mime two strips ago, Tracy has forgotten to remove his makeup before slipping into a trenchcoat and going out skulking.
True Fable
January 29th, 2009 at 1:32 am
Cathy (Must Die!) Have MERCY, not two Cathys! One is bad enough.
True Fable
January 29th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Canadian Zombie After watching her Delicate Genius run off and lose his hat only seconds after she just reminded him to stay warm and not overexert himself after his sickness, Elly no longer wondered why little Mikey still attended preschool at the age of 5 going on 6. At this rate, Lizzie was going to pass him in grade, and she wasn’t even out of diapers yet.
Poteet
January 29th, 2009 at 1:39 am
# 78 Uncle Lumpy — Well, I did ask for that:-).
# 85 Niall — You are waaaay too modest, but thank you.
# 88 gnome — Thanks, and it’s good to be back. This site is a lot more fun than the other things I had to deal with today.
# 92 Canuck — Thanks for the grilled sandwich idea! And I do enjoy your Foob work.
# 99 Sir Fable, My True Knight — I treasure our special relationship, and I could ask no more than to watch you ride forth to do fearsome and noble rant-battle while I wave my kerchief in support. If I had any fiefdoms to offer, they would be yours.
# 105 Anonymous — I’ve only seen SEINFELD since it went into reruns. I’ll hope and assume you are referring to one of his better spiels, so thank you:-).
# 106 commodorejohn — I’m glad you weren’t around the first time I tried to cook eggplant, because I managed to make something even eggplant lovers would hate. Eww.
# 117 — O Bootsy, I know the feeling. I have given up on even trying to like pickles, no matter what state fair prizes they win.
# 147 Islamorada Girl — A rap by you, for me! I am honored. And I didn’t know Islamorada meant “purple island” until two days ago — what a great name.
# 154 Mr. O’Malley — Thanks for providing the big, interesting picture. I’m going to watch for other comic foodstuffs from now on.
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
January 29th, 2009 at 2:00 am
DICK Tracy – Nice DICK, goad the freaky little man into commiting some minor Crime so you can set him on fire with his own perfume, or just pop him off with a couple of hot lead slugs. Thus begins yet another bloodsoaked chapter in “Officer” Tracy’s genocidal campaign against the hideously deformed. And yet the Keane kids with their oversized melon heads somehow escape your homicidal rage. Why God? Why!!!?
MaryRC
January 29th, 2009 at 2:19 am
The “surprised” look, the eyes that don’t match, the pursed lips and skin stretched tight over the cheekbones — Rex has had some work done. By Priscilla Presley’s plastic surgeon, I’m guessing.
Helena Handbasket
January 29th, 2009 at 2:24 am
Am I the only one who reads the latest Funky Cancerbean as an oblique coming out message from Summer?
bats :[
January 29th, 2009 at 2:28 am
Something for Poteet, eggplant-free (and remarkably, Stowaway Boy-free, just because this plot is getting as rehashy as the Mary-Lynn-Frank skating loop):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3236180930/sizes/o/
Anonymous
January 29th, 2009 at 2:29 am
The Family Circus of Doctor Moreau: “That was back when Daddy wore a muumuu and made us repeat ‘Are we not melonheads?’ all the time.”
Steve the Pocket
January 29th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Buckles: “Ninjas are nor–” wait, what does that even mean?
Cathy: You know what… I want to try that now. And there happens to be celery in the house.
Curtis: Well, I sure wish I could say that was surprising. Also, since when do they make flat-panel TVs that are 4:3?
Gasoline Alley: More information on diner lingo can be found on the Internet. Too bad Slim doesn’t have a laptop handy. And I’ll bet the waitress isn’t going to bother being helpful after this. Watch him be stuck guessing and getting all the orders wrong. Oh wait, no, that probably won’t happen. Because it would be funny.
Prickly City: You know, it’s odd… I used to find right-wing comics amusingly bad during the Bush years. Now they’re just annoying. Granted, like a puppy without a newspaper, they have nothing to go on yet.
True Fable
January 29th, 2009 at 2:52 am
(WT)DT I love this “Much Later” narrative box. No doubt in future strips we will see the follow up “Even Later Than That” as well as the retro “Earlier Than We Thought” and “On A Random Tuesday.”
FC JESUS DOLLY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD!?! YOU’RE HUGE!
FW Awww. I suppose we’re expected to feel sorry for her, but I can’t help but recall what a cocky little eye-rolling shit she was before now.
WTF GT Look at that first panel and TELL me that you don’t hear the strains of “The Jets Song” from West Side Story in your mind.
HotC Dair dair dair dair dair dairrr…! oh, it hooked me, I admit it.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi reflected that he would feel right at home behind the cold, bleak desk in the middle of the yard on a raw frigid day. It would be just like his living room, only cozy.
JP YES!! Call Neddy and ask to talk to Cedric! He can come bump off the cheerleader and all will be well! Ooooh I like this, Woody! Say it’s a keeper!
LC Say… is that Count Andy Morgu, M.E. guesting in today’s strip with Mex Morgan? They must read this blog and got inspired by bats :[ !
Luann Yeah, fine, whatever.
MT Bucky moved away upon hearing his life was in danger, but he got the feeling from the playful smile on Mark’s face, that his presence wasn’t needed anymore. Bucky could tell it was Mating Season in Mark’s pants.
Marmadick Oh my GOD, Norman! Don’t make any sudden moves!
MW Oh COME ON, that was a Cheap Meddle and you KNOW it, honey!
Phantom “Something is wrong with our humanoid lizard-friends! Something that they need an old man and a guy in purple tights to straighten out, they are that desperate!”
PC Chris Matthews is the bomb!
RMMW Well…! Are you two going to fuck or not?
S4th I’m going to put Sally 4th into neutral/avoid until Ted shows back up; these peevish new people are boring.
papa zita
January 29th, 2009 at 3:00 am
A3G: If Margo doesn’t attempt to kill Nora after that line…
MW: I see Mary’s having her traditional glass of blood after a successful meddle.
Rex Morgan, Pretty Vacant: Rex’s questions just keep getting dumber, and this strip is going to take six months to get through Day 2. By Day 6, we’ll all be dead unless one of us lives to 100.
Mibbitmaker
January 29th, 2009 at 3:01 am
Thursday 29:
Agnes: Looks like Bob’s in the process of being Abu Graibed!
A3G: The woman’s morphing into Margo’s mom???
Curtis: We all knew this was happening, yet it’s still like “REALLY?! Oh, GIVE ME A BREAK!!” It’s that stupid.
DT: “Correct… it wasn’t a perfume I was making then — it was a perfume.” Oh, let’s not start THAT again!
GT: Nobody, but NObody, has “too much depth” in this strip.
MT: “…He even invited Sarah Palin for dinner tomorrow!”
MW: In this strip, you don’t need to get a hangover from those drinks to throw up.
NS: Well, that’s one way for a business owner to beat this recession.
Ghost-Who-Just-Is: I’ll say something’s wrong — shouldn’t that boat read “Rock of Gibralter”?
RMMD: Remember when this wonderfully warped insane cruise line storyline showed such oddball promise? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?
Uncle Lumpy
January 29th, 2009 at 3:18 am
#182 Mibbitmaker –
It’s the Rex Morgan Problem: just when things start to get interesting, they get insufferably boring. Alas, it’s like the Pythagorean Theorem — can’t be solved.
Sheila Sternwell
January 29th, 2009 at 3:35 am
RMMD: Wow. Judging by that first panel, we’re going to have to come up with a clever nickname for RMMD like we did with Juggs Parker. How about “Breast Morgan, MD”?
Wangdoodle
January 29th, 2009 at 4:39 am
Curtis: We knew Barry would be all right, and suspected he’d be on TV with the Obamas, but I never dreamed Billingsley would poop out such a strip. Not only is it butt licking on an epic (or if you must, “historic”) scale, Michelle has made it quite clear that only she and Barack are allowed to exploit their daughters like that.
Still, this is the “out” for the whole “last straw” declaration; Greg and Diane will turn into bliss-ninny sheep as they bathe, slack-jawed, in the glorious light streaming from The All-Holy One, and Curtis will be (relatively) mildly punished (after initially assuming he’s off the hook). Never mind that things probably would’ve turned out far worse under even slightly more realistic circumstances, and Curtis should be shipped off to military camp with his butt still smoldering…
I’d love to know how Barry got within eighty yards of the the First Kids, anyway. Don’t try it in real life, folks.
Marion Delgado
January 29th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Luann being worth around $1000 for a no-promises escort date makes her OFFICIALLY hotter than Tiffany, and has her within sight of Toni Daytona. Uh oh. If Sgt. York comes back, Brad will get “protective” again. The peer into the bathroom keyhole while Luann’s in there kind of protective.
This will end in tears. Tears in Luann’s camel-toed gym shorts.
Mr. O'Malley
January 29th, 2009 at 5:42 am
9CL: Yes, yes, of course, it’s Wagner’s ring.
Archie: Everyone knows how much high school girls are impressed by academic achievement!
Crankshaft: I’ve said it before, but these “long lines at the DMV” jokes (seen in so many strips) are as out of date as Snuffy Smith’s telephone. When I need to go to the DMV, I make an appointment online and I’m in and out in 10 minutes. I’m surprised we don’t see more jokes about the long lines at the bank on Fridays when people need to cash their paychecks.
GT: I haven’t been keeping up with this strip since the armed robbery, but is this the team known as the Orangutans?
JP: Neddy … now in her second week at art school. How much she must have learned about glue!
And within a short time Luann came to meet Eliot Spitzer, but missed out on the opportunity to make $3 million on EBay.
MT: I’m guessing the key to Ken’s hostility can be found in his favorite hobby—growing vegetables.
Monty: Laughs … from someone who’s been there.
Phantom: So much for those Gibraltarean criminals!
Ha ha! Pluggers scratch their glasses with their claws! And can’t get replacements because their medical plan won’t cover it!
PC: I thought that Chris Matthews was a right-wing pundit, but even so I imagine that he usually wears jackets with sleeves made out of the same kind of fabric.
RMMD: June looks like a Maidenform ad from the 1950s.
RwO: Do pregnant women regularly offer to show off their tummies to random people at parties? This is a trend I seem to have missed. Although points for showing a pregnant woman, which doesn’t happen often in comics.
ZtP: This is rather clever—if you’re an elitist intellectual. But will The Des Moines Register carry it?
True Fable
January 29th, 2009 at 6:54 am
# 187 Mr. O’Malley – Nooo, Chris Matthews used to be a Republican but he’s been a Democrat for a while, and an Obama man all the way. I actually laughed at Prickly City because I could just imagine Matthews saying those words.
dreadedcandiru2
January 29th, 2009 at 7:07 am
#93 – Trogdoor:
For God’s sake, we’re not in the 50s where premarital sex is considered bad. Most people would probably tell her it’s about time.
We’re not in the fifties but the same cannot be said of the maniac writing this. The only way he can stay thirteen is by living in the era when he was thirteen.
Amanda M
January 29th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Rex Morgan: “Who would intentionally leave their son on a cruise ship? By the way, which celebrity do I look like when I make this face? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not NOT Joan Rivers.”
gleeb
January 29th, 2009 at 7:43 am
A3G: No, he proposed an alliance against Bourbon meddling in the Spanish Succession. Of course, marriage! What else?
Between Friends: What do you care about some guy’s toaster oven?
Curtis: Michelle Obama’s not a real woman. Where’s her colorful beret?
‘bean: Summer does seem sort of snippy and childish, but then, her main role model is Creepy Les.
Gil: Like when the Bobcat’s suggested our whole universe might be just one atom in some giant’s fingernail? That’s deep, man.
H&J: As long as she doesn’t ask her grandson to cure her hiccups.
Duck: Oh, that Chet. Heh, heh, he-wait, what? You have to establish actual characters before you can do character-based gags, Brucie.
Shoe: Oh, yeah, those kids today can’t stop talking about Sullivan. How old are the geezers who squeeze this strip out?
Barney Google: By the time he is 15, Tater’s weight will be half nose.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 29th, 2009 at 7:49 am
GA: “OK, gotcha, with the raft and the hay bales and stuff. But now someone’s yelling about a ‘dumb tubby fucker in a striped shirt’ – what’s that code for?”
Little Guy
January 29th, 2009 at 7:58 am
136: Except, it would still be Oprah, but she’d be in “Million Little Fiber Outrage” mode and rip the parents a new one in front of her rabid Two-Minute Hate audience.
185: Because he’s Barry! How could anyone resist him?
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 29th, 2009 at 8:01 am
I would love to have been privy to the train of thought that led to today’s Fred Basset. Departure from Deadline Pressure Station with a planned destination of Humorous Dog-Related Anecdote, inexplicably and terminally arriving at Two Panels Depicting the Installation of a Window.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 29th, 2009 at 8:08 am
♪ …all over the meadow and the hill… ♫
colorado
January 29th, 2009 at 9:08 am
papa zita, you took the words right outta my mouth….
buckyswife
January 29th, 2009 at 9:11 am
MW: Isn’t Frank the one who’s supposed to be drinking the Kool-Aid?
Curtis: You know, I’ve heard this about prominent politicians and celebrities in general: When their kids make friends, they don’t want them to pick the other kids from their toney private schools. No, they prefer them to make friends with grubby urchins with no parents around or even a home city that they can name.
buckyswife
January 29th, 2009 at 9:12 am
PBS: While I’m enjoying the “my former associate Mr. Snuffles” plot this week, I admit to being a bit freaked out by the raised toilet seat in the final panel today. Does the Li’l Guard Duck need to stand there to urinate, tiny duck pee-pee in wing? It’s all quite… disturbing.
crazyjerseygirl
January 29th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Since when did the basketball team of Gil Thorp recruit hunchbacks?
And now a public service for those of you who have not been following The Phantom:
Day 1: “Something is wrong on Crocco island”.
Day 2: “Look it’s Mozz, he must know something is wrong on Crocco island”.
Day 3: “Mozz, do you think there is something wrong on Crocco island”?
Day 4: “Yes O Ghost, something is wrong on Crocco island”.
Day 5: “There is Crocco island, something must be wrong”.
Thank you.
kalki
January 29th, 2009 at 9:35 am
9CL: Now…why isn’t Amos hiccuping and why isn’t that clerk blowing him? This strip is so inconsistent.
Archie: “Oh, and could you do some origami with the paper and roll in the shape of my penis? Again…for Veronica.”
Beetle: Looks like Beetle is about to crawl into the sack with Sarge. I guess the new Obama openess policy for gays in the military is working out A-OK.
Baldo: Why isn’t this joint being closed because of the economy? I want to see Baldo out of work and forced to turn to street crimes to make ends meet.
Blondie: I’d give Dagwood a dollar if he smacked that kid hard on the head with his briefcase and stole his cell phone.
Crank: I know Crankers is an organ donor in character and personality, but I didn’t really think he was dumb enough to think his barely-operable internal dustbunnies would ever be used on another living person. They’d disintegrate when they are exposed to air for pity’s sake!
DTM: “Hey! Let’s all write our names on Mr Wilson’s prostrate body like we do in the snow. Eat hot pee pee, Mr. Wilson! Joey, get his wallet! Margaret, put Mr Wilson’s hand on your boobs so I can take some blackmail photos. Say cheese, old fart!”
CircusJerk: “Don’t ask why there are six toes on each foot. I tried that once with Dad and he yelled at me and then called Mom ‘Sis’ for some weird reason.”
FW: Don’t worry…Les is about to give his daughter a thumbs up like Keisha got in the locker room. Unfortunately, instead of “nice game”, Les told Summer, “nice ass”.
Hi/Lois: “Great, kids. I’ll crawl under the snow desk and cry for awhile like I do at work while you two make me a nice snow noose.”
GA: “Because, not only do we want to take advantage of you, but we want to humiliate you in the process. Now, go clean the shitter…and do it without using your hands.”
Luann: Wrong answer, Luann. Instead: “Fuck you, Bernice, oops sorry…I forgot that nobody, including members of other species, will ever want to fuck you. As for you Tiffany, why don’t you just blow Elwood 950 times for a dollar each? Isn’t that what you usually charge guys? Elwood, you’re a little dipshit. I hope you get cancer and die like Lisa Moore. Keep your money, I’ll stay home and Delta can go to Washington in my place. Assholes…”
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 29th, 2009 at 9:38 am
“Ezekiel, I can really get into this Enchanted Rod stuff.”
“You mean Magic Wand.”
“Whatever.”
sugarpie
January 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
#180 True Fable. Am I allowed to do that? Just stop following for awhile? Cool! Thanks! Because I’m going to ftake your suggestion and bail on Luann for awhile too. Yeesh. This strip is a real mess.
#177 Bats :[ Thanks for the only real laugh this morning! I wonder what the bats gloss would look like on Luann?
papa zita
January 29th, 2009 at 10:03 am
9CL: Amos, c’mere. Listen bud, you ain’t Sly Stone. You can’t blow gigs and get away with it. I mean it’s not even for doing some blow or groupies servicing you, but just to Buy A Stupid Ring? I don’t want you still pondering there when I collect my first Social Security check. There’s enough fresh hells to come from McEldowney’s pen. Got it? Alright now, get back to that concert hall and take us out of this hell. That’s a good boy.
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 10:05 am
DT: “It’s a go just as planned.” I can’t help thinking that if they had just inserted the missing comma into that sentence the last six months of this comic strip (and my life) would make some sense to me.
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 10:12 am
MT: Is it wrong for me to suggest a t-shirt that says, simply, “KILL BUCKY”?
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 10:17 am
How We Know Rex Morgan Did Not Go to Law School: “There are 15,000 people on this cruise ship. I asked one of them if there was a stowaway hiding on this ship and he said no. Ergo, there cannot be a stowaway aboard this ship. QED.”
Muffaroo
January 29th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Cshaft – Crank’s an organ donor? Let’s fast-forward the strip ten years and follow the exciting adventures of the formerly nice person who got his spleen.
Crock – Toxic levels of stupid, inappropriate ideas in life-or-death situations? I’d say Seymour’s this strip’s “Lucky Eddie,” only just about everybody in this Legion outpost seems to be the same way.
Curtis – Michelle Obama can’t be too mad at Billingsley for putting her daughters in the strip. He carefully avoided caricature by drawing them as Curtis with better hair.
DTracy – Let me state this as positively as I can: Tracy looks much better than anyone else in the strip today.
Dbury – Other strips take note, please, of the proper use of boldface in this strip.
FCircus – “This is either PJ’s paw prints or an extreme close-up of Rorschach the night he took away Not Me.”
FWbean – “Sorry, um, Summer, but be fair! I already scored with your mom!”
GFuzzy – Eternal Truth Alert.
MTrail – No wonder Patty loves Bucky. He’s a dead ringer for her conscience!
Marvin – Ha ha they like that TV show.
Ha ha they dance when the TV plays dance music.
Ha ha old people am I right?
MG&Grimm – I can’t decide if this is edgy, or if it proves that Gitmo has lost its edge.
My Cage – When I say that this is two strips worth right here, I don’t mean drag it out to two next time. It’s just approval.
Muffaroo
January 29th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Wangdoodle @185 – Yeah, but how long before Barry pulls the old “WAAH! Sasha hit me for no reason!” and ends up getting paddled by the Secret Service? We can only (pardon the expression) hope.
Mr. O’Malley – It goes without saying that you’re funnier than McEldowney. And Elrod. Now the thing about pluggers is that there’s no glass in their glasses. It’s kind of a cargo cult thing. “Are we not pluggers?”
Amsterdang @205 – Why not just a picture of Bucky in a circle with crosshairs?
Hibbleton
January 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Six chicks: What exactly is she asking him to look at in this strip? Her mucous plug? Stretch marks, How much she’s dialated?
commodorejohn
January 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am
9CL – Any ring that costs less than four figures means you’re a cheap bastard with no taste and your woman is little more than a whore! This message brought to you by the American wedding industry.
A3G – You know, I should probably be mocking Nora’s ridiculous reaction and inability to make obvious connections, but to be honest, the idea of Margo getting married would probably make me bobble, too.
BB – Otto wanted the cat to drown horribly. Ha ha!
Blondie – I…uh…ARGH NO THAT IS NOT AN ACCURATE COMPARISON. Just…NO.
BrS – You can check out my treehouse any day, Brenda.
Curtis – God. Gee, we sure never saw this coming. Also, I’m confused as to how, but Billingsley somehow managed to come up with the most accurate picture of Obama in the funnies and yet have his nose look like a freakishly large beak-thing, even though that’s actually a perfectly reasonable rendition of it. Maybe it’s just by comparison with the little button-noses everybody else is sporting.
DT – No. No. One plot is confusing enough.
FC – I swear this comic is a rerun, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to bother going back and finding the original.
FW – Hey, Summer? If you can’t stand anybody else getting any glory, maybe you’re not cut out for team sports.
GT – Bizarre semi-quadripetal hunchbacks? It’s awfully cool of Coach Thorp to let all the horribly mangled mutant players on the regular team. Oh wait, that’s all of them.
HOTC – Okay. How could someone with enough taste to know “Birthday” possibly fall for the Jonas Brothers brand of manufactured pop? I call bullshit.
JP – Hey, yeah, how is the Youngest Drunken Socialite, anyway? I don’t think we’ve heard from her since…wow, almost since I showed up here, when there was that terrifying old crone and the chauffer guy she was bumping uglies with. How time flies.
Luann – “Luann, you’re a terrible person if you won’t prostitute yourself to help out a friend.”
MT – Um…wow, I don’t think I can even mock this. Um, ha ha?
MW – “And by ‘grit’ I mean ‘deeply-seated personal problems that actually have nothing to do with skating per se,‘ but it sounds better if I pretend this was some kind of insightful commentary on the sport.”
Momma – Again with Momma and cheese. Seriously, what is up with that?
Phantom – Okay, The Phantom, you’re building this up to be way cool. You just better deliver, that’s all, or you’ll be hearing from the Dork-Who-Posts.
Popeye – I’m Popeye the sailor-man/
I’m dumber than an orangutan…
RMMD – Rex launches verbal countermeasures to ward off June’s torpedoes.
SM – This would seem more villainous if “eh, screw it” weren’t everybody’s reaction to every problem in this strip.
Zipper
January 29th, 2009 at 10:56 am
I am taking an unofficial poll: how many people here actually bother to read the comics in the paper and how many [myself included] simply come here to suck up the highlights?
You know, I just think the Tribune Company bankruptcy and Josh’s growing poplularity may not be a mere coincindence.
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 11:02 am
209: I don’t recall the exact wording of the statute, but I am pretty sure the internets forbid the use of the term “muc*#s plug” until cocktail hour is well under way.
commodorejohn
January 29th, 2009 at 11:08 am
#211 Zipper – I would buy the comics on paper if I could get the selection I want and not have to pay for all the other content that I never read (okay, leave the crossword,) but until that happens I just read them online.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Mark Trail is really bringing back happy memories of a time when I used to wonder if someone was going to follow through on threats to kill my best friend. Yay.
Harpa
January 29th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Amsterdang @206 — actually, doesn’t that type of logic prove that he DID go to law school?
buckyswife
January 29th, 2009 at 11:16 am
#211 Zipper–I might be in the minority here, but I’m a devoted print-newspaper reader. The Washington Post has three pages of comics, including many of the ones snarked upon here; I follow a couple additional ones online.
Sometimes I think that when there are only three people left reading the print Post, I’ll be one of them (despite the fact that they’ve just devastated me by eliminating Book World).
Bob
January 29th, 2009 at 11:17 am
I thought The Crank was referring to his painful, very very dry bowel movements.
The Not-So-Amazing Whitney
January 29th, 2009 at 11:18 am
@ #135 (Jen X):
It’s so nice to see that I am not alone in my strange habits! I used to do this — actually, I still do, because I still read Archie comics (yes, please kill me now).
I remember when the Archie artists went through a weird phase where at least one word in every word balloon had to be emphasized, and the emphasis rarely made sense. They’re a little better now, but still too often fall prey to Random Emphasis Syndrome.
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Harpa @ 215: Careful…you might start a trend of people making jokes about lawyers.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2009 at 11:22 am
#151 – Me, Too! Me, Too! Told ya so, told ya so, told ya so! (well, no one should be surprised at how this turned out – how ELSE could it end?)
CanuckDownSouth
January 29th, 2009 at 11:27 am
JP “… I know it doesn’t happen very often, I mean, it’s been what? a week since Neddy left for art school so I’ve hardly gotten used to not finding her hair products in the bathroom, but sometimes it just feels like it’s been longer, I mean, months, and I get this wave of sadness like I’m trapped somehow …”
Today’s RMMD: if June doesn’t go around wearing vintage 50s brassieres under her robes at bedtime, then I think it’s settled that her doctor husband has arranged for some considerable silicone assistance in the torso area. No wonder Rex is staying well back from her in Panel 1 – you could put an eye out with that!
and #173-Poteet, grilling thin slices of the veggie and then making a sandwich not only made eggplant better than I had ever expected, it also gave me one of the first summer squash recipes I like.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 29th, 2009 at 11:27 am
1/29
A3G: Hold the (literal and metaphorical) phone here. Margo heard Eric propose in a phone message? So that’s the message she heard on his answering machine? Doesn’t it stand to reason that he really wants to marry himself when he returns from China?
Luann: Luann already subbed for Tiffany in the dunking booth. Sometimes I get the feeling that Bernice isn’t a very good friend. Can’t quite put my finger on it, though.
GT: The Bobcats are just too deep, man. You wouldn’t understand.
FC: It’s true, those are PJ’s pawprints. And those little moonlight transformations of his are cute now. But as he gets older, he’ll only get more bloodthirsty.
Ziggy: Only two minutes to reach orgasm. Can he handle the pressure?
Lockhorns: Loretta must make a pretty mean cup of coffee to keep getting guests at these little kitchen chats.
MT: Patty is worried about Ken killing Bucky. He could hurt her too, but that dumb innocent beast is too simple to even think of that possibility, much less worry about it. The deer doesn’t seem to be fretting either.
Marvin: I hope the Miller’s don’t have premium cable, because I don’t think I can handle the grandparents watching Califonication together.
HtH: Hagar and Lucky Eddie make their first visit to an S&M bar. Raiding Amsterdam has been a real experience for them.
SFx: That is one tiny flying saucer. Do extraterrestrial clowns fly around in those?
FB: Bassett delivers its New Years joke almost a month late, but I think we can all agree it was worth the wait. *crickets*
JP: “Neddy. I feel like I’m supposed to recognize that name, but I got nothing. Who the hell is Neddy again?”
H&J: “Oh, and be a honey and go get granny’s epilepsy meds, would you?”
Crock: Can’t be too surprised about running out of food and water. The men seem to have been keeping all their supplies in an Erlenmeyer flask on a tripod.
6C: Why is the guy with a word balloon coming out his ass skeeved out by the thought of looking at a pregnant belly?
DtM: Dennis outdoes himself and finds the most menacing thing he could do in this situation: nothing. More accurately, he stands over an elderly neighbor who may have a concussion and/or broken hip, and he gives him unhelpful advice. Notice that he’s even managed to corrupt Margaret on this one.
mav
January 29th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Hey, I actually like the turn Luann has taken. They were trying to pimp Tiffany out and suddenly the tables have turned and Luann is the one getting pimped out. Yeah, it’s a bit squicky, but Evans encroaching on teen sexuality usually is. Is it really that much different from a “date auction”, which is not an uncommon fundraiser? (ok, it’s definitely different, but not enough for me to consider it truly bizarre for a comic strip) As for Bernice putting the pressure on her friend, Bernice is pretty well established as a bitch who’s a bad friend, so it’s not out of character. I’m curious to see where it’s going, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see the intervention of Delta, the good friend who is conspicuously absent at the moment.
Sequitur
January 29th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Lio: The actual title of this song is “Tiger Rag.” That’s something I really rather not think about.
Meanwhile
January 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I am so confused right now. I’ve followed this skating story in Mary Worth for weeks. At this point, it appears to be winding down, and still no one has died of meddling.
Sure, that Greg dude bought the farm, but where’s the moral lesson? His death taught us nothing of the dangers of defying Mary’s will, or taking Mary’s name in vain, or snubbing an invitation to the Charterstone pool party.
So now my only hope is that someone might choke on the victory steak or something. Then again, I don’t know whose blood Mary and choreographer-lady are daintily sipping after the self-congratulatory toast. Maybe this story arc is just too subtle for me.
Muffaroo
January 29th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Sequitur @224 – Hold this tiger!
DTracy – “The reason I ask is that I’ve never seen anybody make perfume with his dick like that before.”
Niall
January 29th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Lack O’ Sleep Snarkings (I need a new mattress… but no money yet for it, and no busses to get to the store anyway)
A3G: It feels downright weird to see head bobbles on someone else than Margo. Who seems to be testing this carbon-based lifeform, and based on her reaction, will decide if she lives or dies. Those eye-lasers need the practice.
Archie: Why is Ms Grundy blushing?? Because she knows “impressing” her means Archie will do the oral tonsillitis in class, and she can’t bear to watch; it’s been so long for herself that she’s starting to project on.. no, I’m sorry, I really, really can’t pull a Dingo on Archie. My mind is rebelling.
Curtis: ho-hum. We figured it out over a week ago. Nice likenesses though. Wonder what the family will think of this.
DT: …okay, yes, this strip is the Delirius Tremens of the comics page. I generally don’t get headaches, but panel 3 is inducing one every time I do more than glance at it. ANATOMY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. Even in Locher’s world.
Garfield: *blink*… … wow, a strip where Odie acts like a normal dog?? No “brainless” joke? No stupid dialogue? Who let this through?? It’s a strip dog owners can actually relate to and find funny! The universe is in peril!
thorp: Anatomy never works well in this strip, and panel 1 is… so close to correct, and therefore fails so hard that it’s almost as bad as DTpanel3. Almost.
HtH: How many times has this joke been used just in this strip alone? I seem to recall at least four times, of the times I paid attention to it growing up. That’s just sad.
MT: SueEllenThingyWhatever-her-name is sporting a most fetching accessory, the rage of Lost Forest Fashion: the tiny Bucky Shoulder Figure, for when you want to always have your wild companion in your sight (while your spouse wants it in his sights). And if you’re feeling alone, you can lie down in front of the fireplace, pet its small back, and take hold of the small antlers while you bring it down to your… no, still can’t do it.
MW: the grit you’re hearing is our collectives teeth grinding. Or is that bees?
MG&G: I know I said I’d stop reading it, but I was too lazy to rework the URL of my Favorites at home and work. Well, now it goes away.
MC: No matter how bad or alone I feel, I can always take comfort Jeff has it worse. …oh, wait, he did manage to have a wife and son (who loves him). I take it back. Sigh.
RMMD: Graaaah! Rich people not being able to understand how one can be “resourceful” or “self-sufficient” or “sneaky”! I want to slap Rex around so hard! Also, June’s breasts: there in panel 1 (and how), gone in panel 3… reason enough to sob!
SlyFox: …I’m not even going to begin with the perversion in this strip.
I need sleep… well, better sleep. Though finally finishing Portal last night (grah, Still Alive is something I had heard for years but didn’t know where it was from, and now in context it’s almost bone-chilling) and reading 1/0 contributed, just fear of dreams was enough to make me stay up until I nearly collapsed at my desk.
commodorejohn
January 29th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
#227 Niall – Ooh, I finally played Portal a few months ago; it is just full of win.
Sequitur
January 29th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
226: Muffarro: Yow!
Actually, Toe-tapping tot thinks tuba toting tiger teriffic.
nowukkers
January 29th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Curtis:
Kudos to all those who picked this – which is pretty much the entire Mudge readership. Billingsley is so goddamned lazy and predictable. Now and again he stirs himself to interesting issues, but this strip, now 20 years old – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curtis_(comic_strip) – is starting to suffer from legacy-itis.
Little Guy
January 29th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Give Ray credit — I’ve thought more about Curtis in a non-Kwazaa way than I should.
I’d say Friday, Barry will make a statement on TV which, at the least, prevents Curtis from Gitmo-level beatings from his parents — for now.
Saturday will be the “pull out the stops” final panel where the First Family mirrors the Wilkins, with Barack smoking a pack and dazed on the couch while Sasha runs to Michelle, telling her that Malina is being mean to her “for no good reason”.
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
DT: Maybe the tag line for the perfume should be something simple and catchy, but classy: This perfume smells like Dick.
odinthor
January 29th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
#232. AMSTERDANG. —
Not as odd as we might like to think. From the New York Post November 14, 2006 –”Tom Ford specifically asked executives at Estée Lauder to have his new Black Orchid fragrance smell ‘like a man’s crotch’ . . . “
AMSTERDANG
January 29th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
233: I like this Tom Ford fellow and volunteer my own crotch. I’ve never smelled it myself, but always imagined it has the pleasant odor of a newly opened roll of Smarties.
Sequitur
January 29th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
231: Little Guy
I like this scenario. And, of course, Malina is sent off to clean the Presidental bathroom.
AtomicDog
January 29th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
185 Wangdoodle: You really hate Obama, don’t you?
queek
January 29th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
104: Ashley in a french-cut one-piece gets my vote. We already know how well Maureen fills out a bikini. (although, Bridget in the “hot springs towel” look would be beyond adorable.)
111: you mean Bridgit T. Dog? Her species is one of the great mysteries of the strip. . . .
177: so close to the lyrics from the Nuge’s Wango Tango, yet so far away.
226: thanks! makes the strip even better.
DownwithOPP
January 29th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
As an avid amateur lepidopterist, I should like to alert you all that, in the first panel of the Rex Morgan strip, it would appear that some exotic form of butterfly or moth has attached itself to Rex’s ear. While indigenous to the locales frequented by cruise ships on which Rex Morgan is a passenger [in other words, I have no idea where the hell Rex is supposed to be], he should nonetheless have this dealt with promptly; as a trained physician, he’ll know that permitting an insect of this kind to deposit it’s brain-sucking larvae in his ear is to take his well-known love of flora and fauna to unacceptable lengths. Alternatively, could this be the beginning of a Rex Morgan-Mark Trail crossover? God please, let it be so!!
Spaceman Spiff
January 29th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Here’s what “Just want to know you better” means in different strips:
Dick Tracy – I’m going to torture you.
9 Chickweed Lane – I have unrequited feelings for you, which can only be explained through the power of interpretive dance.
A3G – I think you can do something for me, so I’m going to feign interest until I get what I want. Or I’m just going to cut you. That threat got Tommie to do all the chores in the apartment.
B.C. – I just want you to get to know Jesus better. Have you heard the good news?
Cathy – You want to get to know me better? What could that mean? This is moving too fast! But I thought this is what I wanted! I’m not even sure I want to get to know HIM better! Ack!
FBoFW – Let’s settle down and have babies together. What? We were born in the same town and have opposite genitals! What more could there be?
Funky Winkerbean – I want to know who you are as a person so I have something to say at your funeral.
Gil Thorp – I just want to know how your arm does that. I mean, the angle is just impossible.
Luann – I have unrequited feelings for you, which will cause me to do all manner of squirm-inducing things, including posing for a calendar.
Mark Trail – I just want you to shave off that beard.
Marmaduke – I want to eat you.
Momma – I want you to destroy my life. I wouldn’t let anyone else do it. Well, except my mother. I’d like you to meet my mother!
Rex Morgan, MD – I just wanted to get to know him better, officer! Can’t a grown man solicit – I mean, talk to – a young boy?
Shoe – I’d like to get to know you better; for example, how do they get you to taste so sweet? Oh, bottle of booze, never leave me!
and, finally:
Mary Worth – I’d like to meddle in your life for my own nefarious purposes. Why no, of course you don’t have a say in the matter! What a silly thing to say! (Stares intently)
Amateur
January 29th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
#236 — Actually, Wangdoodle is perfectly correct. As I wrote yesterday, Michelle Obama is reported to have thrown a fit over dolls designed to look like her daughters. “Impromptu” interviews with entertainment programs, yes — dolls, no.
Muffaroo
January 29th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Something else of a peculiar nature that I was recently reminded of — a hot-looking (or at least warm) Mary Worth from the 50s? It’s worth looking at the whole thing that came from, because the art is so vibrant and professional-looking for a Tijuana Bible. It’s like Ken Ernst and Allan Saunders — or maybe Raeburn Van Buren — just decided to go slumming one day. The whole thing is, as the kids used to say, full of Win. My favorite is the last panel , with the skeevy salesman in sock garters. (Smutfinders’ Textbook: Just pare the URL down to the basic address and it’s a collection of Tijuana Bible scans of varying vintages.)
commodorejohn
January 29th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
#241 Muffaroo – o_O
D:
AUGH
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
192/One-eyed Wolfdog – COTW material!
211/Zipper – I read the comics and the rest of the Freep daily. I’m personally pissed and in deep mourning over their plan to cut back to 3-day-a-week home delivery in March, while substituting an online pdf-like version for subscribers on the other four days. There’s just no substitute for a real newspaper.
Niall
January 29th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
222. AFKAsBen: Actually, I do remember Eric’s proposition-by-phone-message on Margo’s machine. Way, way, way back. Plus, of course Loretta Lockhorn’s cup of coffee can be nothing else than mean. It’s the Lockhorns.
239. Spaceman Spiff: I have to point out it’s no longer the case in B.C., withthe legacy authors veering completely away from this.
241. Muffaroo: I’m at work and I just bet they don’t allow me to visit that website. I’m not even going to try, attempts are logged. Maybe I’ll have forgotten about that post by the time I get home in four hours.
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
9CL – Is its wonderful? Or preciousss?
Archie – Blind squirrel finds acorn.
Big Dog – Aaacckkk! This is just depressing! The poor kid is fighting for his life, using any weapon at his disposal, and as he succumbs to exhaustion, the hideous beast is just toying with him! Just finish him off and be done with it!
RMMD – The kid is a ghost, doomed to wander the oceans forever! The Flying Berliner!
MT – Well yeah, hotheaded, jealous men sometimes do kill the rivals who are fucking their wives.
JP – We all miss Neddy too! Although Abby, Dixie and the others have been doing a commendable job of picking up the slack.
FC – Just as I suspected, the whole family has a criminal record.
Curtis – Today’s strip confirms my long-held suspicion that Barry, despite his tender age, has a 9-inch wanger. Curtis, obviously, does not.
DtM – Today’s strip is an homage to the actor Joseph Kearns, who played the original Mr. Wilson in the DtM TV show.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 29th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
#239 Spaceman Spiff,
Now you’ve got me doing it.
“I just want to know you better, translated.”
Dick Tracy (redux)–Talk now and maybe I’ll have a doctor look at the wound.
Snuffy Smith–Shouldn’t we do the baby makin’ thing? We’s kin and everything.
Judge Parker–I’ll try to memorize your name before the police put you down.
Ziggy–I’m looking to make new friends. That’s how come the no pants.
Phantom–I’m going to keep you prisoner in the jungle while I strut around in a purple wetsuit and some natives pretend I’m God. Don’t judge me.
Herb & Jamaal–I’d like to know what kind of generics you keep in that room in your house where the cooking is done.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 29th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
#222 Niall,
I sort of vaguely remember that message now that you remember it. Which means Shulock is still playing it cute as to what the message on his machine was. An exciting opportunity to refinance?
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
93/Trogdor – For God’s sake, we’re not in the 50s where premarital sex is considered bad.
By international convention, all comics strips must adhere to the customs of a half-century before. This is why Henry, Nancy and Sluggo were playing with hoops and sticks in the 1960s and Archie’s jalopy had a hand crank starter through at least the 1980s.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 29th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
#248 cheech wizard,
So the comic strips of the 2020’s will be filled with beanbag chairs, rolling papers, and bellbottoms? I hope that the colorists can work in some blacklight poster tones so we get the full effect.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
January 29th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Dilbert — I know this whole line strips is merely advertising for Adams’ new “dilbertfiles.com” business, but I’ll be damned if I’m trusting my important business files to some unemployed comics dude.
Spaceman Spiff
January 29th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
#244 Niall: Aw, but I wanna make fun of fundamentalists! It’s so easy! Plus, Cathy’s married now, so that one doesn’t really work either. Damn!
#245 cheech wizard (great name, btw): I’ll thank you not to make me think of Curtis’s or Barry’s junk.
#246 Artist formerly known as Ben: Excellent! I especially loved the Ziggy one.
Jamus The Bartender
January 29th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
239. You forgot one.
The Cat And The Curmudgeon: I’ll have sex with you the first night we meet, then i’ll steal your furniture in order to buy cocaine, then i’ll come back now and again and do illegal things so you can bail me out of jail.
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
251/ Spaceman Spiff – Thanks. Vaughn but not forgotten.
Jamus The Bartender
January 29th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Luann: Okay, so…little greaser guy is a software millionaire who is willing to shell out close to one K for a date with Luann? Did anyone call Maureen Fox over at My Cage? This is what she’s been waiting for. Okay, so Elwood’s not really parent material YET, but judging by the way Maureen recently dressed as a man, trying to get into Violet’s knickers makes me think the clock is ticking…
Little Guy
January 29th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
254: A Power-DeJesus/Evans crossover would have “Planet of the Apes”-like implication, with Elwood as Taylor.
I refuse to say who would be Nova…. wait, it’s TJ. It has to be TJ.
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
249/AFKAB – Since everything will be online by then, they’ll probably mix in some actual disco music as well.
BenG
January 29th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Luann: In all seriousness, how far removed from prostitution is this really?
Jen X
January 29th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
@218 (The Not-So-Amazing Whitney) – Ah, a kindred spirit. And yes, I’ve noticed the lack of sense in the bolding as well, which is where I (sadly) derived the majority of my joy.
Other comics tend to be a bit more consistent with the correct use of emphasis, but you still have to wonder just what goes through their minds.
rich
January 29th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Phantom: Oh, I know just how this “Crocco” story’s going to end… I’ve seen Beach Girls and the Monster.
(Hint: Check their backs for zippers.)
Trogdor
January 29th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
257 – BenG: Just one step removed, but it’s an important step. The fact that there are no sexual favors guaranteed makes Luann a paid escort, which is a step better than prostitute. In doing so, Luann stays just this side of the anti-prostitution laws. Then again, I bet other laws would come into play if you started hiring a 16 yo girl out as a paid escort. I just can’t imagine that’s legal
cheech wizard
January 29th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
261/Ben G: Luann: In all seriousness, how far removed from prostitution is this really?
About 36 hours, or however soon LuAnn and Elwood reach the latter stages of their “date.”
CanuckDownSouth
January 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
#257-BenG – Hmm, what? us, serious? We-elll, AFAIK, in much of the industrialized world, “prostitution” would be legally defined (whether it’s banned or not) to involve payment for sexual actions specifically involving *ahem* directly stimulating the private parts. Indirect stimulation through stripping (even right up close in “lap dances”) would not count, let alone paying someone to spend time with you. Legal escort services could easily be fronts for prostitution, but that doesn’t change the fact that a contract to escort someone as a companion (as one would expect for a high school date in Luann), while disturbing, would be quite distinct from prostitution, legally.
Now, morally – ewwww.
Uncle Lumpy
January 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
#247 AFKAB –
Remember Eric’s mysterious call from Lhasa about how Tim Mills was alive ‘n’ stuff? Betcha that’s what’s on the machine.
Betcha Margo just blurts it out to new-in-love Nora a.k.a. “Mrs. Tim” Mills. Ha ha Nora’s totally gonna bathroom. That Margo — wotta broad!
Wangdoodle
January 29th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
#236 AtomicDog: Because there can be no rational middle ground, right? One either worships with glistening eyes, or hates with mouth-foaming rage.
Luann: I’m impressed with the speed at which Bernice sided with Tiff against Luann. Not surprised, just impressed. I hope Luann is equally impressed. As for Elwood: you may be stupidly rich, but you still have to extort women for dates. HAW HAW!
Old School Allie Cat
January 29th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Luann – I never thought I’d say this, but – more Toni/Brad/TJ hijinks, please!
MW – You know what they say Mary. Fish and visitors begin to smell after three… months.
Based on that, I’m guessing that the ice rink is starting to reek like the dumpster at the Bum Boat on a hot day in July.
FBOFW – The only reason I’m still reading is because I’m too inert (and inept) to change my faves at Chron.com.
Niall
January 29th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
263. Uncle Lumpy: …we’ve been seeing this setup since last JULY?? *groooans* I was thinking October…
papa zita
January 29th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Luann: The little greaser troll will pay that much for a bad date? Imagine what he will pay for other (ahem), more stimulating services. Methinks he’ll be broke in no time.
Poteet
January 29th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
# 177 bats — Hahahahaha! Thanks! And now pardon me while I run for the brain bleach.
AtomicDog
January 29th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
264 Wangdoodle: Well, not being able to mention him without snark is a clue.
dale
January 29th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Luann
Luann and friends are seniors, so they are 17or 18 years old. Bernice is the only one smart enough to have maybe skipped a grade.
How old is Elwood supposed to be?
In panel 1, they’re talking price like Luann gets to keep the money. How long before she figures out she doesn’t?
ben Williams
January 29th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Please NEVER refer to Crankshaft by the name ‘the shaft’ ever again.
Disturbing.
Carly
January 30th, 2009 at 12:04 am
The first two cartoons and your comments had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Just thought I’d let you know.
Wangdoodle
January 30th, 2009 at 6:11 am
#269 : I’m that way about all political figures and celebrities and any combination thereof. It’s not “hate” (or any other negative buzzword).
I find it better than devout groveling worship, which (as the followers of every single one of his modern predecessors have demonstrated) always leads to disappointment, disillusionment, or outright delusion when Toto inevitably pulls the curtain back to reveal that the mighty and wonderful Wizard of Oz is a mere mortal.