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Punchopalypse now

Mark Trail, 3/29/14

OK, fine, I haven’t been keeping you properly up to date on the doings in Mark Trail, but at least I’m letting you know when Mark finally gets around to punching someone! Let’s all … wait, what? That’s … that’s not Mark’s fist? That’s Mark’s face? Oh, man, I gotta … I gotta lay down. Gotta rest up. Rest up for next week. There’s gonna be all kinds of punching next week. Mark hasn’t been punched in a while. You can tell from the dust cloud that puffs out from where Marlin’s fist makes impact. He’s not going to like this. Not one bit.

Apartment 3-G, 3/29/14

Wait, did Lily the deer just say “bleat”? Jeez, the forest animals are never going to accept her city ways! “I say, fellow deer, this grass certainly is more lush than what I’m used to in Central Park! Anything around here to wash it down with? Surely there must be a Starbucks nearby! Bleat!”

B.C. and Wizard of Id, 3/29/14

B.C. did a joke about “haters” and Wizard of Id did a joke about “cougars,” in case you were still holding on to your will to live! The best I can say here is that at least B.C. didn’t try to draw a hater.

197 responses to “Punchopalypse now”

  1. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    MT-Mark deserved that punch. He’s been acting like an asshole for the past couple of weeks.

    MT-”Taste my mighty Fists O’ Justice, Trail!”

    MT-Finally someone gives it to Mark Trail.

    Spiderman-A year or two? Is that how long this story’s been running?

    A3G-It looks like they used the ‘Random Park Background’ for Happiness Falls.

    JP-Of course they hit it off. As soon as anyone says that they like ‘The Chambers Affair’ you have the Judge eating out of your hand.

    JP-April’s reaction in the last panel says a lot. “Drone you captured? Is that some sort of euphemism because my father doesn’t swing that way.”

  2. Myrtle
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: If anyone is into vintage autos, what is that vehicle Tommie was driving? I’m getting a 40s vibe from those fenders. I guess you can rent anything in NYC.

  3. Mibbitmaker
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Um…. Tommie…. there IS no ‘Happiness Falls’. You know we’re still in the parking garage, right? And this Jack Reilly of yours is an actor. From a TV sitcom. About a shrink, appropriately enough. (pause. Tommie stays silent with a vacant smile) He played a patient! You know that, right? (pause) I’M NOT EVEN A DEER, YOU LUNATIC, I’M A STREET URCHIN! *sigh* Oh, never-mind! Bleat. Bleat….”

    MT: Thanks to Trail’s unconstitutional Dirty Harry methods of investigation, I’m actually sympathizing with the punching villain here. Uh…. can he also punch the Phantom, please? Same basic reason.

  4. Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    Peanuts: the more things change…

  5. Congo Bill Bailey
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#y59):

    Beetle Bailey: Beetle also told Zero to drop his trousers and bend over for the “punchline.”

    No wonder Sarge Snorkel is ticked off. He’s the one who originally told Beetle the “joke” — and the one who came up with the “punchline.”

  6. lorne
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    The Wizard and Rodney are gonna get laid.

    FAMILY NEWSPAPER COMICS, everyone!

  7. Ned Ryerson
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @Myrtle (#2): I think Tommie is driving some sort of 40′s model Smart Car.

  8. John C Fremont
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Myrtle (#2): I think Tommie drove all the way to 1947.

  9. Braniff
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    FC: Is Billy wanting to become a member of Greenpeace or Earthfirst!(R)? Stay tuned for what could be some interesting times in the Keane Kompound . . .

  10. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    3G – Happiness Falls is a magical place, where fawns have bodies and Tommie even has a pelvis. Look at that tree! It might even have roots! Abandoning her plan to deliver the fawn to Riley in person, Tommie’s going to leave Lily by the road and hightail it back to New York. This place freaks her right out.

    Crank – Batiuk’s finished breaking his character’s heart for now, but before he wraps up, he’ll just see if he can spoil a classic movie for anybody.

    Mark – It’s on now. Mr. Fists-o-Justice has been introduced to Mr. Fists-o-Fed-Up. But surely, if Marlin has nothing to hide, he won’t mind a self-appointed vigilante nature writer rummaging through all his stuff. Sadly, I suspect this won’t be the time somebody just beats Trail up and kicks him out of his house, but it’s still kind of refreshing to see how Mark reacts to a right to the face. (“I don’t understand your hostility toward me at all!”)

    Family – I remembered today that around five years ago, I wanted to see how Bil would look with eyes. I’d forgotten just how far I carried this feeble conceit before wandering away to find a snack. Start here, and (because flickr is chronically time-challenged) work leftward until you’re as tired of it as I was.

    Annie – I like the nuanced way Sandy is barking today, in reply to a long statement from Annie. “Arf…” In my mind, it’s in an understated, low-pitched voice, stretched out over two syllables, almost like a question. “Well, yes, definitely arf, but on the other hand…” (Sort of arf and arf.)

    Peanuts – Big Sister is watching you!

  11. Mycroft Fox, Slylock\'s smarter brother
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail apparently grew up in a totalitarian dictatorship with no concept of ‘illegal search’ or ‘probable cause’. “If you aren’t engaged in subversive activities, citizen, then you shouldn’t mind if I rummage through your personal items. O-ho, what is this? This copy of The Rights of Man will earn you two years in the gulag, if I know the judge! Which I do, because he is I!”

  12. Ken
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m still thinking Mr. Riley’s promise to “take good care of you” means Civet de Cerf aux Champignons.

  13. Rusty
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#6): I agree. They look like johns approaching a whorehouse.

  14. Congo Bill Bailey
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#8): Tommie is permanently stuck in the 1940s.

    “Is Your Trip Necessary? Needless Travel Interferes With the War Effort…”

  15. Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Mycroft Fox, Slylock\’s smarter brother (#11): Mark Trail is justice personified.

  16. Poteet
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ordinarily I might have to rant yet again about the illegality of everything that has happened to Lily. Fortunately, Lily is a poorly-disguised alien on a reconnaissance mission. And thanks to Tommie, the Fakecervids of Planet Zox will stay far away from Earth in the future. In the Fakecervid tongue, “Bleat!” means “Fakecervideity, I can’t take much more of this!”

  17. Mr. Confused
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    OK, admission time: I don’t get today’s “B. C.” at all. In “Wizard of Id,” I know what a cougar is (older woman attracted to much younger man), but what’s a snowcap? What’s a hater, unless it’s simply someone who hates? Some assistance, please!

  18. John C Fremont
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT – This reminds me of that scene from Plan 9. But that means Marlin is Gregory Walcott and Mark is – Dudley Manlove!

    All this fuss over a bag of solaranite. Or solarbonite, depending on your source.

  19. Oregonian
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie’s big, white Studebaker is blocking a sign that says “Welcome to Happiness Falls, home of Jack Riley’s Gourmet Venison! Deer me, it’s tasty!”

  20. TheDiva
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    A3G: Lily’s not a deer, she’s a sheep with an identity crisis.

    MT: Of course the only person who would be able to punch Mark Trail is his own evil twin. (And of course he’s evil, because if he didn’t have something to hide he wouldn’t be objecting to having his privacy invaded, right?)

    WoI: “I’m not up on this trendy new slang–’cougar’ is a synonym for ‘prostitute,’ right?”

  21. Mibbitmaker
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    FW:
    1) VIDEO GAMES AREN’T COMIC BOOKS!!!
    2) How dare males enjoy anything sexual! Guys, amirite? (within reason, fellas…)
    3) It’s always good when ignorant myths about the medium are debunked, especially by someone perpetuating the other annoying myths in the process. Comic book readers, particularly indie/alternative ones, just LOVE that!

    Phantom: He’s planning murder now, isn’t he? The HERO, ladies and gentlemen!

    Popeye: Coy or obtuse? Both! I can’t wait for Olive to explode in a violent rage. We’re with ya, Olive Oyl!

    Zits: Even the other teens parrot the condescending sarcasm of the adults in this strip now.

  22. Poteet
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: I’m begging you, Manhattan Project people. Work faster.

  23. Mibbitmaker
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    RMMD: That last panel! The fact that Sarah’s drawn less like a troll and more like a normal-looking little girl just makes her implied, blackmail-like threat to Kelly all the more chilling.

  24. Aphthakid
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    9CL: Hey, sorry about flipping out after the whole fake seduction thing and then siccing General Squarebody on you, but can you help me find the deranged lunatic I’m engaged to? Well, not super engaged. I’m totally available to screw Nazis. Do you know any Nazis? Or do I need to go troll the POW camps again?

    BLEAT!!!

  25. Horace Broon
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Confused (#17): A hater is indeed someone who hates. Specifically, it’s someone who hates a particular work, or celeb, and dedicates time and effort to knocking everything they do. (This might sound familiar, but I think the difference between haters and Mudges is that haters have no detectable sense of humour. At least when people aren’t using to mean “anyone who criticises the thing I like for any reason”.

    “Snowcap” I’m less sure about. It actually means a small hummingbird (something I only discovered just now, by Googling – I thought it was another word for “icecap”). The only pun I can think of makes sense, is the gangsta rap term “capping” meaning to shoot someone dead. So this is a gag about a beloved children’s cartoon character shooting anyone who doesn’t like him. Ah, whimsy.

  26. merde
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    On 9 Chickweed Lane: “So, I know I cocktease you to the point where you try and grope me and I scream ‘RAPE!’ and I pump you for information–hence, the cockteasing–but all that aside…could you help me find some other guy that I like better than you?”

    On Crankshaft: Because you know eBay works–if you lose the bidding on an item, you’re totally screwed because there will never be–FOR ALL TIME TO COME–another of those items ever up for auction again. You’re screwed. Really. No, don’t bother trying to search for it ever again.

    On Family Circus: “No, son…global warming is a myth perpetrated by the leftist elitists and liberal media. By the way…NO SOUP FOR YOU! COME BACK 18 YEARS!”

    On Funky Winkerbean: “I know I just walked in on the tail-end of this conversation, but I heard ‘comic books’, ‘bazoombas’ and ‘superheroines’ and now I have this huge erection…oh wait, maybe that was from when you said ‘boys’…”

    On Spider-man: And in NYC, there’s not another rival paper guy like JJJ who has his reporters taking photos of all this property damage JJJ is going and painting Iron Jonah as a menace too?

    On Phantom: Wait…so when you say (and put it in bold) “DEEP WOODS”…

  27. Mibbitmaker
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FW:

    Holly: “Lop ‘em off!”

    GalGamingNerd: “Thelma and Louise!”

    Holly: “Towanda!”

    galGamingNerd: “BLEAT!”

    Crazy: “……help………”

  28. merde
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#22): I’m also putting some bets on an asteroid impact…I’ll settle for a comic strip editor with an eraser at this point…

  29. seismic-2
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m just waiting for Jack Riley to show up, clad from head to toe in buckskin.

  30. Leonard
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I think Luann is going to end… as we all know what happened to Saved by the Bell College Years

  31. TheDiva
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: Today’s McEldowney-to-Human translation:
    Edna: Do you mind if I ask you if you saw Bill in Normandy? I’m trying to pretend I still have a relevant role in this mess of a plot.
    Officer Nondescript: Well, there were thousands of men there and I was mostly too busy trying to stay alive on a chaotic battlefield to actually pay attention to any faces, but sure, why not?
    Edna: Good, here’s his picture.
    Officer Nondescript: No, I can’t say that I saw him, but to be honest we all kind of look alike to me. Hell, that could be my own picture for all I know.
    Edna: Yeah, I get that a lot.

    C’shaft: Because a suburban empty nester not winning a bid on eBay is exactly like the lost innocence of a dead tycoon. Or something.

    FW: Really? Out of the myriad of euphemisms for female breasts that the English language has provided us with, you chose “bazoombas”?

    JP: I love how casual she is about it. “Oh I’m sure they’re just going to check on the high-tech spy equipment we single-handedly brought down on our morning constitutional…another margarita?”

    Luann: Never mind graduation, they’ll stop talking to one another immediately after finals are over.

    MW: “You know, Mom, you could be looking for work yourself…”
    “Me? But Tommy, you’re the man of the house! It’s time for you to step up to your pre-appointed gender role!”

    Phantom: “We’ll say she tried to steal your wallet–it was self-defense! No jury would convict us, even if we weren’t out living in the jungle as a law unto ourselves…”

    SM: Oh God, this is never going to end, is it?

  32. Tophat
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    “Oh my God,” Mark thought to himself, rubbing his jaw. “Is that what I’ve been doing to people this whole time? That sucked. And… and I used to enjoy it. Forget Rusty. It’s me. I’m history’s worst monster.”

  33. TheDiva
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Confused (#17): @Horace Broon (#25): The term “hater” further carries the implication that the person’s dislike springs out of pettiness, bitterness, or resentment, ie. “Ignore the Twilight haters–they’re just jealous because Stephanie Meyer is so rich and famous.” Obviously, the line between “hater” and “person with legitimate and well-argued criticism” is very thin, and highly subjective.

    In non-Wiley terms, a “snowcap” is the snow on top of a mountain, or those chocolate candies with the little white sprinkles.

  34. walt d
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Cougar: Woman, middle-aged or older, who hits on younger men.
    Hater: Term generally used to describe someone who is passionately opposed to someone or something that you personally approve of.
    Snowcap: My take is a variant of kneecapping. The reader will have to provide his/her own image of what actually would happen.

  35. Formerly Wounded Elk
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    APT3G: For the love of …. now they’ve hired a #@%* DOG as a stand in for “Lily the Fawn.” (at least it’s a bilingual dog) But I guess her “bump” was showing by now. This %$&^# story can’t end soon enough – some of us in the Wood have petitioned the Wildlife Defamation League to order a cease and desist.

  36. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MT: “Do you mind if I do a cavity search, Marlin? If you aren’t involved in poaching, then you shouldn’t mind if I look inside!”

    MW: Iris, you do realize that most adults who return to school do so while holding jobs, right? Not that Tommy shouldn’t be pulling his own weight, but perhaps campus dining hall needs someone to sling glop.

  37. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#25): I immediately thought of “cap” as “shoot,” too—particularly in conjunction with “hater.”

    Yeah, pretty dark.

  38. Horace Broon
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    FW: The final day of the “comics (including video games for some reason) aren’t just for boys” lecture, and Batuik actually stumbles upon a valid point (albeit one other strips have made better). Probably a coincidence.

    Marv: A terrifying look into the subtle mental world of a “monstrous adult-infant hybrid” — The part of Marvin’s mind that is actually a baby is motivated to engage with the expensive toys his parents got to stimulate him. The part that’s a cynical, sarcastic horror must, of course, place this desire into some kind of context, something normal babies don’t worry about. But that part has no interest in childish things like “playing”, so can only interprete this feeling as a compulsion coming from outside, presumably from the toys themselves. Apparently, being Marvin is just as unpleasant as being around Marvin.

  39. Joe Blevins
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    A3G: Looks like Tommie is trying to give that overly-clingy deer a subtle hint by imitating Jackie Gleason’s famous “And awaaaaaaay we go!” move.

    B.C.: Wiley’s gigantic, constantly-on-display dictionary is like something out of a Harry Potter novel. It appears totally blank until you stare into it. Then a joke emerges — a joke only you can see, a joke which epitomizes your true essence, a joke which is every bit as funny as you deserve but no funnier than that. No wonder people always look so disgusted in the second panel of these strips. They’ve just seen themselves… and the reflection isn’t pretty.

  40. Ian R. Beste
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    La Cuc See, it’s a pun ’cause “Brewja” sounds like “Brewer” in English and also like “bruja” in Spanish, a word that is usually translated to “witch.” Hah hah, subtle.

  41. Alter Ego
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    love is… distracting her with flowers while you cop a feel.

  42. Fritz H.
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    I would just like to say that I think “snowcap” is funny. Thank you.

  43. Yahtzee
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Happiness Falls” is a bad name for a town. it sounds like the place where happiness falls, down into the dirt, to be ground down by the heavy tread of the countless uncaring until it is no more. Is “Funky Winkerbean” set there?

    MT – So, there’s no reason anybody wouldn’t want a near-stranger to go pawing through their stuff UNLESS they’re up to criminal activity. If the high-glamour world of investigative reporting on the hunting & fishing industries ever loses its luster for Mark, I think he has a bright future with the TSA.

  44. walt d
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    MT: So does this guy have some sort of junior game warden badge that he found in a box of cereal or what? “You’re goddamn right I object to people skulking around my property, and going through my stuff. You apparently didn’t know that the southern part of the state, adjoining some salt water, really frowns upon that behavior. Now where did I put that gun? ”

    MT: Twins.

    Wiz: And Rodney just happens to be a younger man. Win-win.

    BC: I predict that Curls will do nothing at all, April 1st, the prank being that everyone will be living in fear that day waiting for him to do something. It’s been done, doubtless including in BC, but pretty much everything has been done, over and over.

    FW: Pretty much since the day you entered the strip, Harry.

  45. Cassandra Cat's Lawyer
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Id: “Gosh,” thought the anonymous cartoonist, “this large panel consists of one not-funny joke, and looks as if it were hastily scrawled by an untalented twelve-year-old. Hmmmm….it needs *something* to elevate it into the realms of the artistic….but what?”

    “Wait, I know! Three — no, four — *four* exquisitely detailed birds, flying majestically across the cloudless Idian sky, their strength, power and beauty inspiring us all to soar along with them! Yes! Okay, so, uh, draw an M, and another M, and two more M’s — aaaand done! Brilliant!”

  46. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Ian R. Beste (#40): What’s all this brewja bruja brouhaha?

  47. Congo Bill Bailey
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: Love is… letting your boyfriend get a tattoo of your face just before you break up with him.

  48. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    (I still fondly remember Gene Amole, columnist and classical deejay. I used to die inside around ten each morning when he’d say “The nice folks at Vollmer’s have just brought me a large Black Forest cherry torte, which I will now describe to you…” as I sat at my desk with my miserable cup of cold cereal, sixty miles from Vollmer’s, but other than that, he was a great guy. He was thoughtful, and explained things for listeners:
    “That was the Ritual Fire Dance from de Falla’s ‘El Amor Brujo.’
    That’s Spanish.
    It means THE Amor Brujo.”)

  49. Baka Gaijin
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Luann: This whole setup is about as genuine and true to life as is Cheez Whiz.

  50. Congo Bill Bailey
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @walt d (#44): BC: I predict that Curls will do nothing at all, April 1st, the prank being that everyone will be living in fear that day waiting for him to do something.

    On the contrary, Peter lost a Slap Bet with Curls — and on April 1st the latter plans to collect.

  51. Stroker Ace
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    DtM – Dennis causes Henry to wonder “If I can get sex on a streetcorner why do I need Alice?”

  52. walt d
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    DT: Went to look at this because of the comment about the cartoonist’s palatial digs. Nothing I see today could possibly make me laugh more. Straightedge is great, and Tracy is great too. Looked at the week’s strips. These are hilarious, and so damned well done. Plus the Orphan Annie story. This strip is definitely not being mailed in.

    Dt: As for Alldid. He is apparently the cartoonist who entered the strip long ago, and created Sawdust. I don’t know what year that would have been (sometime around Moon Maid), but that presumably was the first minimalist strip of modern times, even though it wasn’t freestanding. It might have given Trudeau the idea for the strips which are essentially writing above an unchanging background.

  53. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    A3G-”Look I even have a signed agreement from him saying that he won’t have you for dinner.”

  54. pugfuggly
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    MT Finally we can move on from ‘Touchy-Feely–Nature-Lover’ Mark and on to ‘Violent-Authoritarian’ Mark! C’mon, Marlin, let’s look in the bag! The innocent have nothing to fear. Just answer me: are you, or have you ever been, a POACHER?!

    A3G I’m looking forward to a qualified veterinarian seeing Lily so we can finally nail down exactly what species is. Going by today’s strip, I’d say some kind of fox-antelope hybrid, with a little german shepherd on her mom’s side….

    WoI What, you mean we don’t get to see the next panel where the Wiz and Big-Nose tag-team the medieval cougar in her cramped shoe-shaped bedroom? Well that is a shame…

  55. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    RMMD-”She’ll be available because I’m blackmailing her. Aren’t you so proud of me. I’m only five and I’m blackmailing people.”

    Beetle Bailey-From the people who brought you ‘Dull Surprise’ comes ‘Dull Laughter’.

    Gil Thorp-Sadly he isn’t lucky enough to get run down in the parking lot.

    The Lockhorns-And this gray hair is in an area that we can’t see?

    Lio-And the ending of a tedious sketch is done by a giant foot.

    Marmaduke-If you value your life don’t try to neuter Marmaduke.

    Marmaduke-”I have seriously shit my pants.”

  56. Roto13
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Holy crap, a view of one of the A3G girls below the shoulders! It looks like Tommie wears pants that are the exact same colour as her shirt, because of course she does.

  57. carbunicle
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Myrtle (#2): A white Rolls Royce is my impression. Did the Lt. Gov give Tommie a ride to the sanatorium?

  58. Odie Odo
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Congo Bill Bailey (#47):

    Love is… laughing about your boyfriend getting a tattoo of your face just before you break up with him.

  59. johnny lt
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Luckily for Mark Trail, his violation of the 4th Amendment will be upheld by the Supreme Court on a 5-4 vote.

  60. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Luann-And by the end of the night they might be in each other.

  61. Odie Odo
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff: “…and make sure you insert the pill in his anus!”

  62. Mysterion
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Tommie has less junk in her trunk than that sub-compact Rolls-Royce she drives.

  63. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

  64. Dale
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Doesn’t somebody read the story lines, at least the outlines, before they start publishing?
    I have no idea why Elrod is out, but he should have been removed years ago.

  65. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#61):

    He’s gonna use it as a snowboard or as a boogieboard.
    He’s Heathcliff; not a pill popper or a poopshoot pill puckerupper.

  66. Arabella
    March 29th, 2014 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Well, here we are, Lily. This is the card with Jack Riley’s address; if he’s not home, go down to town hall and ask for Thelma. Don’t forget to write.”

  67. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    MT-”I can stand you breaking into my office, Trail, and rummaging through my stuff, but I’ll be damned if I stand here let you go through my bag.”

  68. Liam
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Well bye forever, Lily. I promise I won’t remember you.”

  69. Myrtle
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Uh, why is Lily just standing there? Wouldn’t even a domesticated animal make a break for it after being let out of a car? Don’t they have leash laws in Happiness Falls?

  70. BigTed
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    “Frosty the Snowman” is a secular song about magic (with a totemic object that can transform inanimate snow into an intelligent creature) — and yet it’s usually sung at Christmastime among the real carols! So why is the religiously correct “B.C.” mentioning this musical outrage? Maybe because it’s the end of March, and these prehistoric people living in a strangely weatherless plain are as sick of winter as everybody else.

  71. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: Bad move, Marlin. Yes, you sucker-punched Mark Trail, but that heavy cloud of talcum powder emanating from his face will knock you out in seconds.

    WofI: This isn’t the old woman from Mother Goose. It’s one of her grown daughters. How many of them turned to prostitution due to their unstable background is truly sobering.

  72. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Tune in next week as Heathcliff savages Ziggy’s dog in retaliation, the blood feud widening.

    Crock: “We don’t cotton to Brecht/Weill fans in this man’s army.”

    9CL: Can’t really say that I’d be eager to help if I were in Kronjuwel’s shoes either.

    JP: Drones are the kind of thing April deals with on a daily basis, so that can’t be what’s shocking her. More likely she thinks Katherine is talking in code about the two men going upstairs to have sex.

    RMMD: “Oh don’t worry, she’ll be available,” the sinister homunculus said before laughing and rubbing her hands together in glee.

    BB: It’s a very special Beetle Bailey, as Sarge notices that Beetle isn’t there and that Zero’s arms are covered with track marks.

    DT: Vera keeps calling Dick “Fosdick” which means that the Lil Abner parody of Dick Tracy must exist in this universe too. And also that Vera isn’t self-conscious about having a girl’s name.

    FC: If you’re so worried about global warming and so uninformed about what it is, mommy will be glad to feed you nothing but cold gruel from here on out.

    H-Clliff: If Heathcliff can expand his mouth and gullet enough to get that thing down, I’m not sure I want to see it.

    Lockhorns: Leroy gave Loretta grey hair, but not where we can see it. Enjoy that thought for a minute.

  73. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 29th, 2014 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#39):
    Re BC:
    The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.

    The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.

    ~Albert Camus Oscar Wilde

  74. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#54):

    WoI What, you mean we don’t get to see the next panel where the Wiz and Big-Nose tag-team the medieval cougar in her cramped shoe-shaped bedroom? Well that is a shame…

    Well, there’s nothing stopping you from creating fanart to that effect and posting it on an image host. Nothing but the anguished cries of your own conscience, that is.

  75. I speak Jive
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    CS – At least when 9CL makes a travesty of a classic film, it gets the black and white part right.

  76. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    hey kids, just looked in my ganderbag. Time for a folk song:

    Folk Song

    ♫ There was an old cougar who lived in a shoe,
    I don’t know why she lived in a shoe.
    I guess she’ll do.

    There was and old wizard, who lived in Id,
    I don’t know why he did, but he did.
    Ain’t that splen-did?

    There was an old knight, the wizard’s best friend,
    Did they go cougar hunting? Oh, let’s pretend.
    That’s not the end…

    The cougar had buttocks, jauntily bouncing,
    She had plumpish thighs, perfect for mounting,
    The wizard and knight, gave her a greeting:

    “Oh Lady fair, how may we serve you?
    We’re both pretty old, but might two of us do you?”
    She answered them, yea… and now I am through. ♫

  77. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#76): “an” old wizard — I hate screwing up simple stuff!

  78. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie, when Lily tells you to bleat, we expect you to bleat!

  79. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#76):

    Solid gold! Burl Ives could not do better.

  80. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Q. What’s Lily’s favorite reading material?
    A. The Bleat Poets.

    Q. What are Lily’s favorite songs?
    A. Michael Jackson’s “Bleat It” and “We Got the Bleat” by The Go-Go’s.

  81. Flippin Arkansas
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G: That deer has always looked suspiciously canine and now the “bleat” suggests to me perhaps a sheep or goat/dog hybrid. Hmmmm. Did this creature possibly wash up on the Ditch Plains, New York beach a la
    the Montauk Monster?

  82. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#79): Thank you. Sadly, Burl did not play the ukulele. Therefore, my version is better.

  83. teenchy
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Myrtle (#2): Considering how it just comes to an end behind her, my guess is Tommie’s borrowed a Citroën 2CV.

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#72):

    DT: Vera keeps calling Dick “Fosdick” which means that the Lil Abner parody of Dick Tracy must exist in this universe too. And also that Vera isn’t self-conscious about having a girl’s name.

    Well, the Dick Tracy Wiki (yes, of course there is a Dick Tracy Wiki) says the name came from Vera’s ethnic father proclaiming the birth of his final child, “Ve’re-a all did!”

    As for “Fosdick” — In-universe Dick Tracy is the person Dick Tracy. But a cartoonist like Al Capp or Vera Alldid, gifted with special sight, might see him as a cartoon, Fearless Fosdick.

    I really like what Staton and Curtis are doing with Dick Tracy conceptually and artistically. I’d like to see the plots smooth out, but I suspect that’s the hardest part. Hard to beat Gould and Gray for models on that score (except for Caniff, but c’mon).

  85. Simple Stuff
    March 29th, 2014 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#77):

    “I hate screwing up simple stuff!”

    Not much fun for me, either, Scudder….

  86. Alison
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Has there ever been a character in this strip who was poor? We learn today that even the single mom going back to school and her unemployed ex-addict son (generally people you’d expect to be struggling financially) actually have a trust fund.

    I guess Frannie and her mom count as being poor since they could not afford dining the Bum Boat anymore, but heck, Mary made that all better by paying for their food, right?

    “Rex Morgan”: I wonder again where the hell Sarah was supposed to be tomorrow, before she brought up the idea to hire Kelly to babysit her at the museum.

  87. Another Kiwi
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    MT: Dangnabbit Mark you should know better than to look in another man’s bag. Marlin may have been clothes shopping at a different shop from the usual Men in Mark Trail shop. He may have a different style of shirt and different coloured trousers in there! You deserve to have the greasepaint slapped offa you!

  88. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Simple Stuff (#85): heh, heh, … sorry about that! You made me spill my morning gin!

  89. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#82):

    That was a ukulele? I thought it was a theremin.

    I was going to praise the use of the diminished 5th chord in the second line that gave it that jazzy blues feeling. I know how hard that is to do on a theremin. But a uke? Meh.

  90. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#88):

    Morning gin? Is that what you kids are calling it now?

  91. Droopy Says
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m calling it. Marlin knocks Mark out, trades wallets and personal belongings with him, then goes to the local hotel and shoots both Doc and Rusty. After that he calls the police and has Mark arrested for poaching, punching, pinching, prying and purloining, and lets them figure out the double homicide part on their own. Mark goes to jail for life, maybe longer, while Marlin-as-Mark gives Cherry the LoFo cabin in a no-fault divorce. Marlin and Jessica then have outdoor adventures that don’t involve diamond smugglers, Rusty-stealers or incinerating forest valleys. Every Christmas they send out a letter describing their past year, and meanly include Mark on the mailing list. Sitting in his cell, Mark reads each letter and thinks “That would make a terrible story!”

    Either that or Marlin grabs his fist and screams in pain, because punching Mark’s jaw left him with broken bones and knucklefuls of splinters.

  92. Elk Meadow
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: I might have a little more respect for Iris if we actually saw her doing some homework, or taking Tommy to the campus with her to show him where the job office is or to sit-in on some classes. Heck, I’d have respect for the strip if a parole officer showed up. As it is, I’m still annoyed at the “Ma” bit, and that Iris hasn’t bought him some different clothes and burned the old ones.

  93. Odie Odo
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Nancy: Never mind Odie Goosepimple and Narfield, I want to see what Juggo Arbuckle looks like.

  94. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    MT: In the second panel Marlin is holding the bag in his right hand. In the third panel Marlin punches Mark with his right hand.

    Mark should have known something was up when Marlin transferred the bag from his right hand to his left.

  95. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#89): I know how hard that is to do on a theremin.

    Tell me about it. Theremin is hell.

  96. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#76): Well done! I wonder what else is in your ganderbag? If you aren’t involved in poaching, then you shouldn’t mind if I look inside…

  97. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84): I really like what Staton and Curtis are doing with Dick Tracy conceptually and artistically…

    They are minced oath good!

    // Oh, crap. I feel another folksong coming on.

  98. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#96): If you aren’t involved in poaching…

    Pete Seeger often quoted his dad, the musicologist, “Plagiarism is basic to all culture.”

    // I’m sure Albert Camus said it first, but in French, so that’s ok.

  99. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Confused (#17): I had the same reaction as @walt d (#34); I thought it was a pun on “kneecap” (def. 3).

    Collectively we have just put about 100 times more effort into figuring out this alleged joke than its author put into making it.

  100. Triteon
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Myrtle (#2): I often rent a fully restored ’41 Packard Wagon for my livestock-relocation needs.

  101. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#98):

    “Le plagiat est la base de toute culture (or not).”
    – Albert Camus

  102. Dr. Pill
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    “BLAART!” beats “BLEAT!” any day.

  103. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#102):

    You know, that “BLEAT!” balloon pointer is rather indefinite. It could be coming from the deer’s ass.

  104. Dr. Pill
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    This cannot be the end of “Luann.” There’s still the prom, and that family could starve to death awaiting delivery of dinner from non-existent characters. How can you live with that, Delta?

  105. Dr. Pill
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#103): Well, that”s not exactly what I was thinking of. More along the lines of goblins and such.

  106. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#105):

    I’m sure goblins fart too.

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#106): Goblin Fart! At last, a name for my new Death Metal Electric Ukulele Theremin band.

    // We specialize in traditional folk songs.

  108. demoncat_4
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    rmmd. of course kelly will be okay with watching me at the museme espically if she wants to keep the secret of her and nicki doing the nasty. proving sarah is not the sweet princess rex and june thinks she is as once again black mail time . mary worth. of course i will give you money jeff for after all you said you are not spending it on drugs. besides we can always borrow from mary.

  109. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107):

    Go for it!

    I can’t wait to see the album cover.

  110. Joe Btfsplk
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G – I guess if the people in this strip have no lower bodies, then logically the cars should have no rear halves either. At least the artist is consistent.

    I don’t get Tommie’s posture in Panel 1…

    “Towel, Milady?”

    “You hold the football tight with your arm, see, and knock the other guy away with your shoulder, like this…”

    “I’ve got no strings
    To hold me down
    To make me fret, or make me frown
    I had strings
    But now I’m free
    There are no strings on me!”

    “Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!”

  111. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109): Oh, yeah. Our version of “Silver Dagger” totally kills! And the cannibal take on “Fair and Tender Ladies”…

  112. Albert
    March 29th, 2014 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Crock – The speech that logically, to the extent that logic is a consideration here, should be given by Crock appears to be coming from one of the recruits. A more appropriate comment for the recruits should be along the lines of “BLEAT”.

  113. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#111):

    Don’t forget to do A Mighty Wind is Blowin’ in your own inimitable style.

  114. walt d
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    JP: These people dropped about ten years for today’s strip.

    JP: So was Katherine waiting for just the right moment to drop that into the conversation, or was that just part of the general cluelessness of the characters?

    JP: We not only disabled a drone, operated by unknown but probably hostile forces, that saw us where we were specifically not supposed to be, but we brought it back with us. How awesome is that?!!

    JP: I’m sorry but I do not believe that the Parkers are sufficiently rich and powerful to be able to walk through life so utterly clueless and get away with it.

  115. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#113): I’m going to try getting Bats Colon Left-Bracket to do the album art, but you know how she is…

  116. Bartlett
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#98):

    “Unsuccessful artists plagarize. Successful artists steal. Really successful artists have assistants to steal for them.” — Albert Camus’s Assistant

  117. the REAL Mark Trail
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Is Josh going to be okay? I didn’t mean to shock him with Mark getting punched. :)

  118. Shrug
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#102):

    ““BLAART!” beats “BLEAT!” any day.”

    Why be forced to choose — just blend them!

    BLAEARET!

    /////The sound of Marvin doing a Number Three?

    //////// 3. Profit!

  119. Lob Let-One-By-The-Fire
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#106):

    “I’m sure goblins fart too.”

    BLAEARET!

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#113): BTW, probably my favorite movie ever.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Bartlett (#116): Fulgent.

  122. Uncle Lumpy
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#117):

    Hey, James – I realize it’s probably a sensitive subject, but have there been any discussions about when your name goes in the circle?

  123. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#115):

    Perhaps she could start with this.

  124. Droopy Says
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    RM, MD: Is this story going to turn into a “Bad Seed” knock-off? If so, will it steal from the book or the movie? Because if Widdle Sawah turns into a killer and gets away with it, like in the book, that would be cool, especially if she slaughters the strip’s entire cast. But if she gets hit by lightning, that’s fine, too. Just as long as she kills Rex and June on the way out.

  125. Flippin Arkansas
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I’m reconsidering my previous theory. A more careful look reveals the deer may in fact be the elusive chupacabra!

  126. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Flippin Arkansas (#125):

    Yup. You got it. Nailed it. Tommie’s deer is a goat sucker.

  127. walt d
    March 29th, 2014 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL: A really long shot when you consider that all of the folks in the current story are engaged in espionage, and it is entirely unclear just which side any of them are on. And yes it can hurt to ask under those circumstances. As for the specific reason why Nazi-until-just-recently is blatantly lying, who knows? It would probably not make Edna feel a lot better to hear that her boy friend was last seen sporting a serious head wound and walking off into the mists of war with an attractive French spy of unknown loyalty. Nazi-guy has apparently also not made any real report on Bill and Souris to the colonel. If he’s not one of the colonel’s agents, why is he freely walking around the base?

  128. Carolina Boy
    March 29th, 2014 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    So, have the forums — at long last — been quietly put out of their misery?

  129. the REAL Mark Trail
    March 29th, 2014 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#122): Lumpy … Thanks for asking. These strips are done way in advance. As Ed Dodd used to say “Wait and read it in the strip”. :)

    (psst – “April 11th”)

  130. Uncle Lumpy
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Carolina Boy (#128):

    Nope – just a little harder to get to. Go direct via http://joshreads.com/forums/, or indirectly via “Posting and Discussion Policies” below, and then the “discussion forum” link.

  131. Calico
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Lily must have originally come from Brooklyn, Queens, or Staten Island.
    In any case, deer don’t bleat, only sheep do.

  132. Uncle Lumpy
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#129):

    Hooray, and congratulations on joining the “Short-named people who create Mark Trail” club. Poor Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni could draw a duck like no other, but there was just no way to get his name in that circle.

  133. Majicou
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    I really feel like that should be “Punchpocalypse.”

  134. Calico
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#129):
    May the circle be unbroken! Congratulations again, and best wishes to Mr. Elrod.

  135. the REAL Mark Trail
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Jack is doing good… I spoke with him earlier today (it’s his birthday) and his whole family was there (LOTS of folks)

    Oh, and THANK YOU!

  136. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109): No doubt the album cover will feature a chubby, flying, stinky, possibly venomous pig-bat-skunk-python.

  137. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Bartlett (#116): That sounds so familiar…

  138. Peanut Gallery
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#133): Aha, you’re right! I tried to pronounce “Punchopalypse” a couple times, and gave up without realizing there was something wrong with it.

  139. NormanNormal
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: Wouldn’t a “hater” just be a Plugger holding a snow blower?

  140. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#136):

    I would be surprised if it didn’t include that. Maybe Weirdly too playing the theremin.

  141. Dennis Jimenez
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    MT – Papa’s got a brand new bag….

    A3G – Bleating heart liberal….

    BC – Perfect fit for a coke-head….

    WoI – It’s still MILF madness….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  142. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @NormanNormal (#139):

    Plugga gonna hate.

  143. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#135):

    Two or three weeks ago, I did post a link to a news story on his retirement and your taking of the reins.
    Pretty sure I offered congratulations then but if not, congrats. I hope you have fun with it and allow the franchise to continue and flourish.

  144. Dale
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    You’ve got him down, Marlin.
    “Kick him in the head until he can’t get up.” – Old Urban Jungle Saying

  145. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#86):
    We learn today that even the single mom going back to school and her unemployed ex-addict son (generally people you’d expect to be struggling financially) actually have a trust fund.

    What!??!

    Luh-haaaame! I’m tired of these picayune characters being somehow well-heeled.
    I’m not saying I want proof they work, but, don’t give me stuff like Doctor Jeff only being a doctor when he’s Off To Modern Day Vietnam!
    Or, how Wilbur is sooooo overwhelmed like a bologna sanwich smothered in mayo that he must give up some of his income to win the affects of a trust fund family????

    Pfffft!
    Boooooooooo!
    Booooooooooooo!

    At least with Mark Trail, we can presume Doc’s genetic experiments and his drone experiments are paying off in spades.

  146. Carolina Boy
    March 29th, 2014 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#130): Thanks, Uncle Lumpy! Bless the forums in their obscure corner, fading ever so gently and sweetly from memory into quiet oblivion. : )

  147. greghousesgf
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    Archie—I know I’ve said this here before and I don’t like buying into stereotypes, but a white kid named Leroy??

  148. Arabella
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#86): @tallyHO (#145): The trust fund theory explains why Wilbur would give up his lucrative advice column to woo Iris full time – she’s loaded! But first he must eliminate Tommy the Leech before all is lost.

  149. Majicou
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#138): Alternative: “Apunchalypse.”

  150. Midtown
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#147): ” a white kid named Leroy?” AKA Jethro Leroy Gibbs

  151. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @Midtown (#150):

    What about Leroy Neiman?

  152. Calico
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#135):
    Happy Birthday Mr. Elrod, from all of us MT and nature fans!

  153. tallyHO
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#147):

    What about Leroy Neiman?

    And, what about that mustache? Did he just cut up strip of carpet and glue it to his face?

  154. Government Cheese
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    I was NOT doing drugs!

  155. Ebenezer Wasabi
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#147): Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins!

  156. Calico
    March 29th, 2014 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

  157. Amos Snarkadder
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Family Curses Blue steam? Ewww! What is that, cream of smurf soup?

  158. Amos Snarkadder
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#129): April 11? 4-1-1!!!
    Sure you don’t want to make that April 20?
    // I’m putting that on my calendar!

  159. Alison
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#148):
    I like the theory that Wilbur has to get rid of Tommy so he can get a hold of Iris’s money! That would explain Wilbur’s impatient, almost angry, attitude towards Tommy’s unemployment.

    Bonus points if Tommy can’t/won’t find a job and Wilbur decides to kill him to get rid of him once and for all. Possibly by hitting Tommy in the skull with a king-size jar of mayo.

    This strip could use that kind of excitement!

  160. Droopy Says
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    If Marlin had hit Mark square on the mouth, would it be the Apunchalips?

  161. Dr. Pill
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107): You guys are a real gas, eh?

  162. Amos Snarkadder
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#36):

    … perhaps campus dining hall needs someone to sling glop.

    Mary has the monopoly on glop slinging in Santa Royale. Tommy will have to go through Mary if he wants that promising career as an apprentice glop slinger.

  163. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

  164. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#123): Hey! I know that guy!

  165. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#164):

    You ought to know that guy. You left enough of him laying around the place.

  166. SGT. STONED
    March 29th, 2014 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    MT: When Marlin goes to jail–and he will–I hope he gets to share a cell with Jeff Baucom where they can talk together about how great it was to kick Mark Trail’s ass.

    MW: “Mom, if I have a $300 a day heroin habit, how long will it take for the inheritance to run out?”

  167. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @SGT. STONED (#166):

    MW: “Mom, if I have a $300 a day heroin habit, how long will it take for the inheritance to run out?”

    How should I know? I can’t do the math. Why do you think I had to go back to school?

  168. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84): Thank you for letting me know about the Dick Tracy Wiki. That one should keep me for a while.

    “Ve’re all did”? Is it possible that Vera’s father was the janitor from Archie?

  169. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#165): You ought to know that guy. You left enough of him laying around the place.

    You’re welcome.

  170. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#169):

    Actually, that lil’ guy is a fun icon.

  171. Droopy Says
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Spidercan’t: Um, Brody? Protip: cut off the power to Jameson’s suit while he is in mid-flight, preferably over the Hudson River. Then let nature take its course. Or, better, cut off the power when he is on the ground and can get out of the suit unharmed. Yes, he will be angry, and that is normally a very bad thing when you’re dealing with a homicidal megalomaniac, but remember: you work for Tony Fucking Stark. Jameson won’t dare harm you! Go on, try it. Asshole.

    Family Circus: It’s a good thing, isn’t it, that Bil & Thel hadn’t been working on melonhead #5.

    FW: Oh, lordy, she’s perfect to anchor the Westview Review!

    Jugheaded Parker: Your old business associates, Flaccid and Rancid, are trying to find you? What tipped you off, Abbott? The two tracers in the armored limo? The pursuit car at the airport?

    Mark Trail: Mark, Mark, Mark! That had better be the longest string of thickly-veiled sexual innuendoes in history, or Cherry put on that two-piece bathing suit for nothing!

    Pluggers: That might have been funny, in a way, if the “man cave” had been a dog house.

  172. Sequitur
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#171):

    Pluggers: That might have been funny, in a way, if the “man cave” had been a dog house.

    Or a cat house.

  173. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 29th, 2014 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    Oh look! Somethings struggling to get out of my old ganderbag. Gosh! It’s a folk song, and it’s headed over to my ukulele!

    Folk Song for Archie

    Veronica, Veronica,
    Won’t you come to bed?
    Veronica, Veronica,
    Won’t you come to bed?
    Between your plumpish thighs, dear girl,
    I’d like to lay my head, poor boy,
    I’ve been all around this world.

    Betty, oh my Betty,
    Won’t you lay me down?
    Betty, oh my Betty,
    Won’t you lay me down?
    Your jauntily bouncing buttocks, girl,
    Are the finest in the town, poor boy,
    I’ve been all around the world.

    Been all around Riverdale,
    Parts of Omaha.
    Been all around Riverdale,
    Parts of Omaha.
    If I cannot lay my Betty dear,
    I’ll lay Veronica, poor boy,
    I’ve been all around this world.

  174. Sequitur
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    @Rambling Nehemiah Scudder (#173):

    I like it better in the original Japanese.

    ???????????
    ????????????
    ???????????
    ????????????
    ??????????????????????
    ??????????????????????
    ???????????????????

    ???????????
    ?????????????????????
    ???????????
    ?????????????????????
    ????????????????????
    ???????????????
    ??????????

    ??????????????????????
    ???????
    ??????????????????????
    ???????
    ???????????????????????
    ????????????????

    Now, isn’t that better?

  175. Sequitur
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#174):

    Ooh. I forgot. Japanese characters don’t translate too well.

  176. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#174): I think the sitar is a little too prominent. And it needs more cowbell.

  177. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    そぅ だ ょ!

  178. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#177): Just kana help yourself, kana?

  179. Poteet
    March 30th, 2014 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    MT: Holy moly. I’ll bet she even has a navel.

  180. Rambling Nehemiah Scudder
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#177): Hirakana, katakana, wouldn’t you like to be a kanji too!

  181. Huckleberry Fink
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan Mark Trail: “Oooo, I love it when you beg!”

  182. Huckleberry Fink
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Todd the Dinosaur: Yabba Dabba Doo…n’t!

  183. tallyHO
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#177):
    ?? ? ?

    It is well?

    Is that what that says?

  184. Huckleberry Fink
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Forget Belfry. His trophy wife is calling to find out where his wallet is.

  185. Purple Prosecutor
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    Did Tommie just drive around with a wild deer in a Bentley Mark VI?

  186. Snarky Parker
    March 30th, 2014 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Slick Smitty knows his victims can’t read.

    Bizarro: It’s what you get for marrying a Couch Potato.

    Dick Tracy: “I wish I were in the funny papers.” Careful what you wish for…

  187. Dale
    March 30th, 2014 at 3:59 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Not what I expected, but maybe next Sunday:
    The Trails are back at LoFo having ice cream and cake with Jack Elrod.

    Three gallons of water weighs 25 lbs. Could a pelican fly, walk, or even float, carrying that much weight?
    Three gallons of water would be the same volume as three gallons of petroleum or beer. Barrels would be a different issue.

  188. Dale
    March 30th, 2014 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH

    Iris seems a little bit suspicious of Tommy’s motives, but she carries $160 in CASH in her wallet.

    If I held my wallet like that, I’d hurt my arm and probably couldn’t get money out.

  189. Liam
    March 30th, 2014 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft-”Now I’m thinking of throwing you into a fire like that sled was.”

  190. Liam
    March 30th, 2014 at 5:28 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Sadly he isn’t lucky enough to get run down in the parking lot.

  191. Baka Gaijin
    March 30th, 2014 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I wish Mark Trail had a guest artist today, Mr. Baretto perhaps? He could really bust things out, so to speak.

    // Sunday’s Mark Trail.

  192. CanuckDownSouth
    March 30th, 2014 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    MW: Either Tommy spent his previous stack of money on a time-delayed tattoo removal procedure that just kicked is, or it really was a glued-on knife that fell off between Saturday’s strip and today.

    I’d advise Iris that they should be going over a budget for his expenses and she should give him money based on that, but this naive approach to his spending is all too realistic .

  193. greghousesgf
    March 30th, 2014 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    well, I know who Leroi Neiman is, so you’re right there.

  194. Hart of Johnny
    March 30th, 2014 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Fuck you, Mark Trail, and your warrantless searches.

  195. Dale
    March 30th, 2014 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Hart of Johnny (#195):

    MARK TRAIL is too stupid to realize he isn’t a cop, but he isn’t one. Therefore, he doesn’t need a search warrant. He is a criminal.
    Before Marlin calls the cops, a good beating is in order.

  196. Yahtzee
    March 30th, 2014 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    I think “bleat” is deer-speak meaning, “Tell Margo thanks for all the vodka.”

  197. Brad
    March 31st, 2014 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    I was going to make some kind of observation about Mark Trail’s Big Brother-esque statement trampling of Marlin’s 4th Amendment rights, but then I got distracted by how much he looks like a bad guy from an old-school video game when he gets punched.

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