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Friday quickies

Family Circus, 4/10/09

Don’t believe her, Jeffy! She claims that the mystical orb she holds is the key to spiritual enlightenment, but its roiling inky blackness tells a very different story.

Luann, 4/10/09

I don’t know if I’d call a guy who can however briefly be in two places at once “pathetic.” “Unsettling,” maybe.

Ziggy, 4/10/09

I was pretty shocked to see that Ziggy has a vanity plate that reads ZIGGY, because I always assumed that he lived his life under the constant, crushing burden of the shame of being Ziggy. If he doesn’t, he should.

Spider-Man, 4/10/09

The Spider-Man comic strip in a nutshell: Our terrifying supervillain, concerned about his son and determined to wreak revenge on the city, takes some time out to hang out in somebody’s cubicle and eat a sandwich.

47 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. DamienBixlan
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    Define how pathetic Gunther is with a numerical value? I don’t think a number that high exist. And if it did, mentionning it would rip apart the space-time fabric.

  2. Lisa
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    So is 1 the good number or the bad number? Did Luann diss him or did she compliment him? Numbers never lie.

  3. alamo
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    dolly: “and if this bowling ball hits you, you will be cremated.”

  4. NoahSnark
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    Ziggy’s mechanic is simply being kind. The truth is his car has chosen to refuse life saving treatment in the desperate hope that drivers in the afterlife wear pants.

  5. The Scientist
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    The car is just misleading you. The garage is clearly on the other side of the street. What we are witnessing is Ziggy’s meeting with his proctologist… *shudder*

  6. mrbadmood
    April 10th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    Of course it’s no surprise at all that Dolly has come into possession of a Palantir, and is using it to torture her siblings before delivering it to Saruman.

    Seek the eye, Jeffy; seek the eye!

  7. Godjesus
    April 10th, 2009 at 4:07 am [Reply]

    illumi–…?

    OOOH. Illuminated=eliminated. Fuck you Family Circus for making a fool out of me.

  8. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    April 10th, 2009 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Don’t think of it as a vanity plate, but rather a shame plate. Ziggy feels that other motorists deserve to be warned when he’s on the road, like a “student driver” sign. It was cheaper than the “Caution: Pathetic Human Being” sign.

  9. It's time to pay the price
    April 10th, 2009 at 5:18 am [Reply]

    Maybe Ziggy’s car has become resistant to repair. But then again the mechanic appears not to be holding a wrench but rather a tuning fork. So he’s probably just a fraud who has no idea whats he’s doing, and plans on both insulting Ziggy’s intelligence and charging him an exorbitant fee. Its a laff and a haff all right.

  10. akgreentea
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    A3G – Because Ruby knows huffing cleaners is a good way to get high.

  11. Twinkles the Elf
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Mystical orb, my ass! That’s a BOWLING BALL. I guess Dolly’s out to break some limbs with this dodge ball wheeze… how I would love to join in! Do you think their little heads really would come apart like melons? Do you think we could get ALL FOUR of them? Am I exhibiting sociopathic tendencies?

  12. Twinkles the Elf
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    How the hell does Ziggy reach the pedals in that or any other car? Probably he just sits in it and bounces, and maybe toots the horn. I fear he leaves wet ass-prints on the seat, wearing that mini-muumuu thing. Ick, I just got queasy.

  13. Sue D. Nymme
    April 10th, 2009 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    How long can Luann keep throwing herself at Gunther before he finally caves?

  14. Sed
    April 10th, 2009 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    #8 – Yes, or like how some states want to make convicted sex offenders have special license plates – it’s warning all around that a creepy pants-less dwarf is on board.

  15. ounceofreason
    April 10th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Is double-Gunther really the dolls from that What Am I? video? Because that would explain a lot. “What is self-esteem? What are boobs? I’m putting my tongue in my mouth!”

  16. Grant
    April 10th, 2009 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    I love both crosswords and Scrabble, and often do/discuss them with my mother. And I considered myself a qualified success at life. Time for some reevaluation…

  17. Chicago Bob
    April 10th, 2009 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Luann: She may consider Gunther pathetic now, but that’s only because she hasn’t considered the Doctor Manhattan / Silk Spectre possibilities of their situation.

    Ziggy, 9: I think you’re right, that tuning fork indicates that Ziggy is consulting with one of those holistic auto mechanics who just tires to increase auto wellness and feng shui. They don’t fix much, but by doing so they decrease our carbon footprint.

    FC: Mr. Badmood: Nice call with the Palantir. It’s always the little people who catch them.

  18. tb4000
    April 10th, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Gunth, Woody Allen and George Costanza have nothing on you. Literally.

  19. Blueberry
    April 10th, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Apparently “pine cleaner” is the A3G euphemism for “corn whiskey.”

  20. Jobrill
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Poor Electro just wanted to Eat a Sandwich (Like a Boss).

  21. thurston unger
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: I don’t read Spiderman but my second thought, upon seeing today’s strip, was that if Electro’s got such a cool hideout, why is the window open? If I was a super villian and lived in Manhattan, with all the superheroes flying around looking for crimes in progress, I’d, you know, shut the window, especially if my arch-nemesis could run up walls and swing from building to building. I’m just saying.

    My first thought was that Electro’s mask looks like what I would imagine an aggrieved rectum would look like in cartoon form in a television commercial for, I don’t know, Preparation H, if television commercials featured cartoon rectums.

  22. bats :[
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    12. Twinkles the Elf: I just love the image…well, except for the “wet ass-prints” one.

  23. Bitter Scribe
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Is it true that if you undo the top button of Gunther’s shirt, his head falls off?

  24. Joe Blevins
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy will cherish this moment always. Someone actually called him “pal.”

  25. Phred22
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    21: What I’m wondering, Thurston, is why this building with its new furniture and office equipment has the old-fashioned windows you can open.

  26. Donald The Anarchist
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    FC Dolly (Or the Keane writing this) got this idea from I <3 Huckabees. Either that, or Jeffy is once again pointing us to the source of his dysfunctions.

    Luanne Maybe she’s tired of the sound of you whacking off every single night, Gunther. When Mom thinks you need to get laid, you probably do.

    Ziggy What he says: “Your car has built up a resistance to repair work.” What he means: “Your car’s a piece of shit, and so are you.”

    S-M So Spidey surprises him when he’s essentially on his break. What’s next, jumping Mysterio while he’s on the can?

  27. Black Drazon
    April 10th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    “You know,” the social worker said to the mayor as they left the prison complex seven million dollars in unmarked bills lighter, “I know what Spider-Man said, but somehow this just doesn’t seem right.”

  28. Isaac
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Spiderman going for the old “–In prison!” joke. It’s like how you can add “–in bed!” to the end of anything, only it’s not at all funny.
    Not at all funny– in prison!

  29. MattC
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    At first I thought Spiderman was going to say “maybe it can be delivered to you, electronically” but cut himself off mid-sentence when he remembered the power was out. Of course the only logical final panel in this case is Spidey saying “D’oh” or something; possibly involving a trombone and a plunger mute. Since this didn’t happen my brain reorganized the whole thing to involve Electro getting his ransom money wired to him… IN PRISON!

  30. Batman Beatles
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Why exactly are there two Gunther’s?

  31. bartcow
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    While it is difficult to tell given the perspective of the drawing, I can say with relative certainty that Ziggy’s car is not wearing any pants.

  32. Some Guy Here
    April 10th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Ugh, as somewhat of a gearhead/car enthusiast (and with at least a little bit of basic knowledge in biology to boot) Ziggy bugs me from a technical standpoint.

    Just remember, it’s just a comic strip….

  33. MattC
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    There are two Gunthers because the upper limit on the human patheticness scale is 10, and Gunther, at that moment, is a 12. This is, of course, impossible: the universe is obligated to create a second Gunther to hold the extra patheticness. If Luann can grab hold of this doppel-gunther and stop him from popping back into non-existence, maybe his relatively low pathos-count will allow Luann to finally satisfy her curiosity about what goes on in Lower Guntheria and we can get back to stories about Brad making goddam crepes.

  34. Donkey Hotey
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    #33 MattC with an early COTW contender!

  35. Patrick
    April 10th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Electro’s ability to “hide” in a cubicle, sandwich or not, may be thwarted by the fact that he throws off visible bolts of electricity everywhere he goes. I mean, if you glow like a Tesla plasma ball in the Museum of Science, you may want to throw a shawl over yourself or something? Maybe?

  36. Furious George
    April 10th, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    I think Ziggy’s problem may be that the garage is across the street.

  37. Howlin' Wolf
    April 10th, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    In the Keane Kompound, malapropisms can be deadly: When Jeffy informs his parents that his sister has devoted herself to the Illuminati, she will be flogged within an inch of her life and then burnt at the stake.

  38. LanceThruster
    April 10th, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    If I didn’t know better, it looks as if Ziggy might be driving a Benz (sans hood ornament).

  39. indichik
    April 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    He won’t be seeing any prison movies there, either.

  40. zerowolf
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    In the Land of the Melonheads, “dodge ball” is a polite way of saying, “the testicle of our Lord and Master Satan”

  41. stand
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Gunther has been hanging out in the intrinsic field generator room.

  42. Dale K.
    April 10th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Dolly is about to attack her siblings with a laboriously rolled wad of Marvin dung.

  43. Charterstoned
    April 10th, 2009 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    MT – Is that supposed to be the memory card on the table next to Rusty’s camera? Maybe Rusty always buys the Extra Large card so he can fit all those Extra Large Ducks and things into his camera.

  44. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    April 10th, 2009 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    FW: Of course.

  45. Alan S.
    April 11th, 2009 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    I seldom chime in here, but I’ve got to note that I’ve finally figured out what was nagging at me about Electro, aside from the obvious mental retardation of both the character and his creator. It’s his resemblance to the Tick villain El Seed, whose head is a giant sunflower. Note to Marvel and the increasingly unhinged Stan Lee: El Seed works because he’s a parody. Electro doesn’t, for the same reason. Context, Stan, context.

    Also, I will mentally refer to him as El Ectro from now on.

  46. xpo
    April 11th, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Ziggy’s vanity plate is also noteworthy in that it is, I believe, the first time in the strip’s history in which a letter “I” has been drawn without a goddamned dot over it.

  47. stumps
    April 11th, 2009 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    FC – I thought playing dodgeball with bowling balls was the way it was done – On “Rollerball”. Yes, Jeffy – you will see angels when I smash your head in…
    Luann – I guess I missed it, but “doing the laundry” is synonomis with getting laid in my household – I guess gunther and luann were using the washing machine the old fashopn way – as a perch.

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