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I’m the best there is at what I do — and afterwards I like to go to Applebee’s

Spider-Man, 6/7/09

My only experience with beloved Marvel Comics character/franchise/cash cow/fetish object Wolverine comes from watching the first two X-Men movies, so I’m very much looking forward to getting lots of huffy blowback for making fun of what I don’t understand as the beclawèd one slums his way through the Spider-Man newspaper strip. My first big laugh came with Spidey’s thought ballooning, in which he wonders why Wolverine hasn’t stayed in the limitless wide-open spaces of Westchester County (population: 923,459; population density, 1,847 people per square mile). “Wolverine doesn’t think the cultural attractions, amazing nightlife, and youthful energy of New York make up for the high rents, crowding, and dicey public schools! He prefers ample parking, neatly trimmed lawns, and chain restaurants to public transit, high rises, and hole-in-the-wall ethnic joints — just like a real wolverine!”

Of course, as Mark Trail has taught us, real Wolverines do need to come into human settlements to steal weapons, which may offer a clue to Wolverine’s intentions in Manhattan.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/7/09

Poor Uriah looks more panicked to be seized bodily than one would expect if the upshot will just be a little impromptu umpiring. I thus assume that the dialogue has been bowdlerized by the syndicate editors in the final panel, with “Shanghai ya into bein’ thar ump” replacing “slice ya up as an off’ring to thar pagan god” and “Play ball!!” replacing “Soon our holy altar will steam with sacrificial blood!!”

Crock, 6/7/09

It should come as little surprise that characters in the poorly drawn hell-world of Crock would choose the easy way out: suicide.

192 responses to “I’m the best there is at what I do — and afterwards I like to go to Applebee’s”

  1. Cami
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    I like how global warming is linked together with Facebook: “You nasty teenagers and your social networking sites! You made me kill myself!”

  2. cj
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]


    Josh, don’t tell me you never saw the early ninet ies X-Men cartoon! I have fond memories of watching it on Saturday mornings as a kid. Though I must add that I also have not read as many comics as I would like (Perhaps some I could provide some service in exchange for the necessary funds *chin scratch*).

    June 7th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    GT: I have come to the conclusion that this strip is one of the five worst-drawn comic adventures of modern times.

    Of course it is also one of the five worst written comic adventures of modern times.

  4. Charlene
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    BC: What the hell is going on with BC? It’s funny again.

  5. Anonymous
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Appreciate any emails to save Judge Parker in my paper here in Duluth, MN.

    They made the change this past Monday and continue to hear from “readers”. So, thank you. Maybe we can change their mind as was with the Washington Post. or the Editor, Rob Karwath,

    Thank you!

  6. Papers
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    It should be noted that the rule for reading Wolverine/Spidey team-ups is *always* to read it like they’re seeing each other having once upon a time had an awkward one-night stand.

  7. Joe Blevins
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    CROCK: The inclusion of the word “boomboxes” on this list is a flourish for the ages. Bravo, obsolete seniors who write Crock!

  8. Patrick
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Crock was almost entirely up-to-date with cultural references, and theeeeeeeennnnn — BOOMBOXES!

    Whew! That was close.

  9. BigTed
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    What’s Wolverine doing in New York? He’s obviously hunting down film critics, whose 36% rating led to his movie doing far below boffo business at the box office. So now we can look forward to at least of month of Spidey protecting Gene Shalit, because he certainly can’t allow anything to happen that might affect his future TV viewing.

  10. Steve S
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Gotta love how easily Wolverine turned the tables on Peter. Of course, that’s what you get for trying to shadow someone while you’re dressed as Spider-Man.

  11. Patrick
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Damnit, I’m one minute behind Joe Blevins.

    Much in the way “Crock” is about twenty-five years behind the times, amirite?


  12. BigTed
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Not that I expect “Snuffy Smith” to make sense, but why is the mailman leaving mail in his own mailbox? Unless the phrase “put m’flag up” is actually some kind of hillbilly slang for his lustful intentions toward the schoolmarm, in which case I don’t want to know about it.

  13. mister beautiful
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Shemeese is yellow.

  14. mister beautiful
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I like that Uriah guy. He’s pretty smooth.

  15. Comrade Denny
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Logan’s heightened sense of smell + Peter’s non-breathing spandex costume = Peter Parker pwned.

  16. BigTed
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Wait, are we sure that’s a spy in today’s installment of “Crock”? Because from the list of his grievances, I’m pretty sure they’re about to execute Andy Rooney.

  17. yellojkt
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Wolverine’s just in town to catch the Tonys. He’s really rooting for that Billy Elliot guy.

  18. 150
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    I am excited beyond all reason to see Wolverine in the Spider-Man comic. And not because I think it’s going to be exciting.

  19. Rock Ripsnort
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Juuuust missed this yesterthread– OK, I could understand if Beetle Bailey’s resident dork character misunderstood the doc’s instructions; but Sarge, whose raison d’etre is eating, drinking and physical abuse? If you’re gonna make a stoopid joke, at least keep it IN CHARACTER!

  20. Allison
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    Josh, there’s an extra e in “Westechester”. And I had the exact same reaction to “uncivilized” Westchester County.

  21. ChrisV82
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Hey Schemeese, since when is “health care” a bad thing? I guess the writers of Crock just listen to the 6:30 news every night and pick up the same words over and over again, presuming them to be problematic to a good society. “Murder, disease, terrorism, health care, Twitter, Obama…these must all be terrible things!”

  22. meep
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    I had wondered why Wolverine was hanging out at the Croton Falls Metro North station. I thought he was there for our first street fair today…. figures he was just going to bum around in Manhattan. Maybe take in an off-Broadway show…

  23. Just Human
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Was anyone else creeped out by the child in the throwaway panel in Dennis the Menace?

  24. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    I too have only seen wolverine in the first two movies, in both of which he was much better looking that that hideous mug in the middle panel. I’m almost distracted from his ugliness by wondering that those things coming from his forehead are. Are the supposed to be stray hairs? His hair looks shellacked, so certainly that can’t be it. Does he have antennae then? Is he perhaps impersonating a bug, and thus about to get snared by spider man?

  25. Uncle Lumpy
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    #20 Allison -

    Thanks; fixed!

  26. Stroker Ace
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    BG & SS ~ Uriah is mail ordering Extenz.

  27. gleeb
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    You know who else thought Westchester County was civilized?

    Herman Tarnower.

  28. Rusty
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Uriah looks like he served under Robert E. Lee at Gettysburg. Isn’t there a mandatory retirement age for Federal civil servants?

  29. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    SSmith: Uriah made the mistake of wearing his blue army cap that day, as he was also bearing a bag with the loathed US initials on it. Wrong neighborhood to represent the Union, chief.

    Shoe: I knew something horrid was on its way, but I wasn’t prepared for just how awful the punchline turned out to be.

    H&J: This is not a hard one, guys. Assuming Sarah is sane, she should be satisfied with, “Dunno. I don’t have anyone in mind right now.”

    MW: Since she’s expecting company, Mary has to change the sheets, and get rid of the drained corpse.

    Blondie: Dagwood can leave satisfied, having fulfilled his mission to release the flesh-eating virus.

    SFx: Sliick Smitty is caught out because he couldn’t get the tip of his banana to point up. There’s nothing I can add to that.

    9CL: If Elliott ever burst into Juliette’s classroom to make out with her, there would also be chalk involved. A police crime scene tech would be wielding it to draw an outline around Elliott.

  30. Oside
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Just Human: The child in Dennis the Menace? Yes, I found him creepy. Reminded me of the cartoon kids in Rankin-Bass’s Frosty the Snowman … the stuff of nightmares.

  31. mister beautiful
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    #27: Too bad Jean Harris didn’t.

  32. McManx
    June 7th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy — When you consider how Appalachian folk tend to drop their consonants, I suspect Uriah is about to become a “stump”; his femurs becoming bats and his testicles, balls.

    Spiderman — Since he knows so much about Wolverine and his personal life, it would seem he would just drop down on his web and say “hi”. But then Spiderman is sort of an ass hole, after all.

    Crock — Why is the firing squad standing around in their boxer shorts?

  33. Nekrotzar
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    New beginnings are always exciting, so I’m thrilled to be present for the inaugural episode the comic strip Crock-Shaft.

  34. Clint
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    I never met a suicide joke I didn’t like.


  35. Isaac
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    We get it, Crock. The characters are French. There is no need to strap one to a baguette.

  36. Mibbitmaker
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    #21 (ChrisV82): Possibly, or else the clumsy-as-the-art writing was meant to convey HMOs, or health care costing too much (read as, “Getting ripped off by… health care…), thus he’d favor Obama overhauling the system.

    Either way, I’m sure Rechin and Wilder didn’t even put a tiny fraction of the thought into it that we just did, Chris.

  37. Steve L
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    How very French of you, Crock denizen – giving a man you’re about to execute a cigarette, of all things.

  38. boojum
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Wow. I had no idea Spidey spoke fluent Exposition.

    Maybe that’s why Narration Box appears to have been studying Mandarin. And, you know, 1920′s hep-cat.

    Take that, comic sans!

  39. Amateur
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    How do you pronounce “beclawèd”?

  40. boojum
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Also, I solemnly vow to work “There is no need to strap one to a baguette” into one conversation every day. In fact, I’m calling Mom now!

  41. Amateur
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and #38 for COTW. (Yes, I’m horribly fickle.)

  42. Mibbitmaker
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Crock: Schmeese’s problems with the world (besides having a name that sounds like a sarcastic reference to Reagan’s attorney general: “Him? Oh, Meese, Schmeese!”):

    Paying Income Taxes — Stupid stupid taxes!!

    Global Warming — Danger to our environment

    …Jobs I hate — Schmeese was never a career man

    Failed IRAs — Recession bait, financial misery

    Old Age — Too close to death (always a sensible reason to want to die! — ???)

    FaceBook — Because, of course, people going to a place online is a GREAT SOCIETAL PROBLEM AFFECTING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS! — ???

    Telemarketers — I loathe those people at least as much as Schmeese does. Still, dying to escape that seems a tad harsh.

    Boomboxes — With those little preprogrammed thingamabobs people carry around with earpeices/headphones to keep the music out of unwanting ears… Problem solved, Schmeese!

    …Politics — Naturally, whichever politics he disagrees with

    …Health care — (covered in both #21 and #36)

  43. Digger
    June 7th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    SM: As a superhero, you know you’re losing your mystique when people start referring to you as “Bub.”

  44. Amanda M
    June 7th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    I never read Barney Google, but I have to say I thought that woman said that the young’uns would shanghai him into being the rump. How awesome is that?

  45. Jackuul
    June 7th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    And now for some death and confusion

    By the way, is Cow and Boy featured in many newspapers? I have been looking at the online comics and so far I have yet to be disappointed in it. It’s like this… thing I don’t think I have seen in a long time. I just cannot think of the word for ‘not-stale’.

    Any time I see a cow with a flame thrower, I smile. I do not know why.

  46. Beatrice
    June 7th, 2009 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe that Spidey’s Friends and Villains boxes don’t include Sponge Bob and Simon Cowell.

  47. Moss_Moses
    June 7th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is quite the toxic avenger. First he warns Andy to back off from the same toxic waste that is killing animals left and right. Next thing you know, rather than contacting the proper authorities, he’s gone off himself in his typical half-cocked vigilante style, and is wallowing in those same barrels of poison without a care in the world.

    I can’t figure out why a woman breaking up with her husband would go live with a nosy old biddy who reminds her of her mother. I think she should go down to the Santa Royale wharf and troll for Selkies.

  48. Three Owls
    June 7th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    I love how the folks behind the Spider-Man daily tease us with the visages of all these cool supervillains in panel two, only to completely let us down by showing supposedly bad-ass Wolverine wearing a jogging suit in panel 4 and what appears to be vintage captoe swing-dancing shoes in panel 5.

  49. dale
    June 7th, 2009 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith
    Uriah the mailman has outgoing mail. He puts it in his mailbox for the mailman to pick up. Uriah forgets to raise the red flag which informs the mailman that there is outgoing mail.
    Stupid is funny.
    Don’t forget: If you can’t take advantage of stupid people, what good are they?

  50. Vince M
    June 7th, 2009 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    45: I’ve been enjoying ‘Cow & Boy’ online for some time and I love its bizarre continuity, as per their recent Easter and Mothers’ Day Sunday strips.

  51. commodorejohn
    June 7th, 2009 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    You know, what’s with the sarcasm quotes around “school?” It’s not like it isn’t a school on top of being a front for Dr. Xavier’s base, so it reads more like Spidey is just randomly dissing it. What’s the matter, is a private school just too wussy for an urban kid like Peter Parker? Douche.

  52. AMC
    June 7th, 2009 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    SM – you know your comic has gone into the shitter when its ubiquitous tag line gets dissed for a bad pun by Funky Cancerbean:

  53. boojum
    June 7th, 2009 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Beatrice @46: Ni-i-i-i-ice!

  54. P
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]


    Million’s of readers are gonna be shocked when they can’t remincese about milking Elsie the Cow because:


    RMND: Oh, Willy, you profusedly retarted sweetie, you asked that yesterday. (BTW, nice to see Willy ditched the Poo Brown color for his hair)


    I wonder if Sir Sean Finnerety will greet the Cameron’s when they land in Scotland.

    “So, my Ian, after we take a peek at wee Susan Boyle’s house, why dont we have a party at the pub for your wife going through so much trouble just to get a DVD with ME in it, what do you say lad?”

  55. Niall
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    42. Mibbitmaker: It’s actually ShEmeese, a really bad attempt at disguising “chemise”. It makes the non-joke even lamer.

  56. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Meddle House Pool Party! Now we KNOW the meddling will commence! It’s like Capistrano is to the swallows; Ground Zero for high profile meddling.
    Rex Morgan, Man Whore Rex looks freakishly like a ghoul shuffling along in panel two. And would SOMEBODY PLEASE find the kid’s mother and wrap this story up? I’ve only got one nerve left and the kid’s all over it like a cheap suit.
    Sam Driver, Window Dressing Those cheerleader moms don’t know what they’re in for! Here comes hot-tempered Sweaterpuppies, a sensitive artiste, and a lawyer who is evidently coming along for ballast to all that emotion.
    Margo 3-G Margo is thinking “dammit, I already bought my ticket!” while Tommie thinking, “A man! I wonder if he’s married?” Priorities, priorities.
    Fist O Justice Theater Mark’s going to solve a Mystery on his IBM 704!

  57. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Dont Ask Dont Tell Palimony!
    Children of the Circle Dolly anticipates her future of dull lifeless tedium, unaware she already lives there.
    Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi experiences the soul-chilling hell of his life merely by answering the phone. Just imagine what the 1-900- number girls go through when they hear your heavy breathing during a “call”, Hi.

  58. survivor
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    Wolverine’s spider sense > Spiderman’s spider sense

    Although Spiderman’s spider senses are going wild in the final panel. Eleven bold lines radiating from his head. I suppose spider sense kicks into gear only after a powerful mutant with a metallic skeleton and deadly claws peers over your shoulder and speaks loudly to get your attention.

  59. Will
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    Oslylock Ofox: Opatty Opossum ohid othe oring oin othe osoup. Oask ome oa ohard oquestion onext otime.
    Mary Worth: Her meddle-ometer is turned up to eleven … thousand.
    FBORFW: Bulimic Canadians. Ew.

  60. bats :[
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    Monday, Monday…

    FW: …aaaaaaand we’re back to Zombie (or Ghost or Doppelganger) Mom and Creepy Dad. I am so looking forward to the week…

    JP: “Those cheerleader moms won’t know what they’re in for! Abbey, I put the AK-47s and the extra ammo in the Jeep!”

    MT: hmmmm…..Walgreens…Wal-Mart…Wham-O…Wittle-Bitty Shoes…

    MW: well, okay. Maybe this week won’t be a total bust…

    RMMD: wow, Guido tearin’ it up is the most action and passion I’ve seen in RMMD in…um…maybe that old fart getting smacked by the boom and Rex being thrown into the bay to save him.
    Oh, and you, Willy? Shut up.

  61. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    # 55 Niall — Per yesterthread, thanks for enabling me to read the Slylock solution.

  62. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    I’ve known several Wolverine artists. None have had him looking like this … However, if our couch potato ALREADY knows him as Logan at least they won’t fight for a stupid reason.

  63. Steve the Pocket
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Cathy: Ha ha… that’s certainly not anything like MY mom! Ha ha ha… *looks around* hey why is most of my room empty?

    Curtis: That looks suspiciously like a check. Please tell me it’s not a check.

    FOOB: This is kind of irrelevant since they’re, like, five, but has any one else noticed that there’s a time barrier between when the uvula was typically called “that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat” in comics and TV, and when it was mainly referred to by name?

    Hagar: Hagar must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. And into a time machine.

    Luann: “Gunther, you do the asking next time, OK? It’s not a woman’s place to ask a man out on a date.”

    Marvin: Stop right there, pal. You will never be able to top “Labradoodle.” So don’t even try.

    MyCage: “And all the rest just try going for the irony crowd by being meta.”

  64. Jackuul
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    Logan: Blah blah blah Mary Jane blah blah blah affair blah blah blah divorce.
    SpiderMan: Blah blah blah why is this happening to me? Blah blah blah never get away blah blah blah blaaaaah blah with this.
    Spiderman: Blah blah blaah blaaaah darkness blah blah eyes blah blah blah my body is over there blah blah bleeding blah blah blah.

  65. Mibbitmaker
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    Nyew Daye:

    666CL: Don’t listen to him, Dr. Burber — if that twit is a deity at all, he’s Satan! …..Then again, if so, you two have alot in common. Carry on…

    A3G: Well’p, we nipped that potentially exciting Margo adventure in the bud! …..Why??

    DT: “Okay, King of Card Analogies… um… could you keep repeating that in slightly different words each time, over and over? We need a week (or 2) to kill here…”

    ReFOOB1: No, Ellie, don’t STOP him!! It would help alot of people in the future.

    ReFOOB2: Big deal — it just goes “Ding! Ding!” like a train bell thingy…

    FW: “Uh… What’m’I doing up here? Um…. just having another psychotic episode, hon’!”

    GA: Gah!! Even Dick Locher is saying, “Enough with the freakin’ contrived names, already!”

    GT: Looks like the coaches’ Goofy Gophers Club is getting a third member.

    MW1: Well, if you loved how Delilah got together with her husband, you’ll really like seeing how they break up. I know I won’t.

    MW2: White shirt, light blue pants guy in p.2: “Hmy, M Cmn’t Smee, m’ fmce im cmvered mp bm ym tmlkim blmmn! M cmn’y tmlk, mmther! Plmse hmlp mr! Gmy thms ftmpmd thmng mff mf mr!!”

    Bitts: “…Because I am … a WIIILD and CRRRRRAZY CAT!!”

    MC: Good one, Ed!

    OBH: Oh, lady… you forgot “mercenary”.

    Popeye, just think back to how you dealt with a similar situation at your house in one of your Famous Studios cartoons.

    SL: I’m not sure why, but some denisons refer to it as the “fisherman fin bump”.

    S-M: What’s all the hubbub, Bub?

    Zits: Well, you just did it in front of Scott and Borgman, thus also in front of all us readers, so I thiiiiink your cover is blown, Pierce. Sorry.

  66. Sheila Sternwell
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Hey Schemeese, since when is “health care” a bad thing?

    I assume he meant “the undertrained staff and the waiting and the copays and the side effects and the hey”. But who knows.

    MW: I made the universal sign of WOOO! — arms raised in the air — when I saw the pool party. Until I saw the freakin’ dialogue, that is. “I loved how she and her husband got together” is so improbable my brain cannot properly process the words.

    A3G: In what universe would this be breaking news? Wait. Don’t answer that.

    MT: It’s hard keeping up with this dynamic plot. First Mark was taking pictures, then he was somewhere else looking at the pictures he had just taken, then he was back at the picture-taking place looking at what he had already photographed. Pure poetry. It’s like I’m reading Hound of the Baskervilles for the first time.

  67. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    WTF GT Gil and Kaz are lookin’ to get sued when one of their players dies of heatstroke.

    Spider-Lame If strolling up behind someone in an alley during broad daylight, wearing a bright red and blue skin-tight jump suit is Spidey’s idea of discreetly tailing someone, then he has just become the Don Knotts of the Marvel Universe.

  68. Nurse with a penis
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    MW – had a tough night at work, thought, aw screw it, I don’t have the energy to read CC comments tonight. Though I think I’ll just check Mary Worth. WOW! POOL PARTY! So I just had to read the ALL the (hilarious) comments – all y’all made me laugh and was salve on a hard night at work.

  69. Mibbitmaker
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    #65 (me):

    “Bitts” should read “Mutts”.

    I don’t thiiiiink there are any typos in my MW2 comment………

  70. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    #69 Mibbitmaker – You know, I wondered about that but I thought you’d found something new to snark.

  71. Dr. Weird
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]


    Regarding the X-Men in Westchester County… they’ve had the mansion there since the early 1960s, when I presume it was more isolated, and since then, haven’t moved it.

    Also, what’s up with the art in the throwaway panels? The “good guys” one looks like John Romita artwork… has he ever done the strip? And the “Bad guys” are very dated… the bullet-headed person under Dr. Doom is the Beetle in his very first suit, also from the 60s… the Chameleon hasn’t had goggles like that in some time either.

  72. Anonymous
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    71. I once read a Nero Wolf novel that was set in Westchester County in the 40′s and it was pure country, not that I have ever been there myself, but I thought it was still rural.

  73. boojum
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    Steve the Pocket @63, regarding uvulae:

    I date the change from the early ’70s. There was an infamous series of commercials in the mid-60s for Lark cigarettes (stay with me here), in which a man rode around in a truck holding a sign asking people to “Show us your Lark pack!” This bit of advertising madness was set to the William Tell Overture — “Have a Lark, have a Lark, have a Lark today…” George Carlin was the first, I believe, to make fun of the ads: “They better not try that in the Bowery; those guys will show you their larks!” Then, in its first season, Saturday Night Live ran a hilarious parody ad, “Show us your Guns!”

    Soon after that, another parody ran on TV. The truck drove by; the familiar music blared out; people turned around, inanely smiling, their hands searching their pockets to display their cigarettes – only to be confronted by the sign, “Show us your uvula!”

    Consternation reigned.

    I tried to find a clip of this on the Intertubes. I wlll say only that a pefectly innocent Google search for “Show us your uvula” is not a good idea. The main thing one finds is just how much the world has changed…..

  74. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Spiderman: Logan looks truly bad here. :(

  75. Hobbes Fan
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    It’s Monday!

    A3G: “You’re watching K-PLOT: all loose ends, all the time.”

    FW: “I’m doing the same thing I’ve been doing for the last ten years…feeding my unhealthy obsession over the first girl who ever gave me a hand job!”

    GT: Who the hell’s Rick?!? And shouldn’t they be inviting Clambake over for the picnic?

    MT: “…and, appropriately enough, includes two ‘Cs.’”

    MW: “Wish me luck on my trip, Mary. It’s all right if none of my credit cards are signed, right?”

    Popeye: Geez, and here’s Olive Oyl, star of “Bipolar Theatre.”

  76. It's time to pay the price
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    He hates Facebook, get it? Because the people who write the comic are friendless non-entities.

  77. gleeb
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    Lio: Just because she hasn’t got a mouth doesn’t mean she ain’t speaking.

    A3-G: Rick Landers covers the Dharamsala beat, hoping, month after month, for a story like this.

    Blondie: So, Dag’s into rubber pants.

    FC: 27073 Hidden Trail Rd. Oh, Bil, are you lonely for mail?

    ‘bean: “And why are you talking to a chair? Who are you, Neil Diamond?” Am I to believe that Creepy Les dragged a second chair up on the roof for his dead wife to sit on? He can’t imagine one?

    Gas: Hmmm, I wonder if this guy is up to no good?

    Abbey Driver on a timetable!: Why wouldn’t Rocky leave now with them? Does he have to finish his brownwine?

  78. colonial
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    GA: Upton O. Goode? Was the guy driving to wherever Dick Tracy lives when he broke down?

  79. John C Fremont
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    #63 & 73 – And remember, guys, as Babs learned the hard way, “It’ll behoove ya’ to care for your uvula.”

    MT – Leave it to Mark Trail to fashion a chair from the grill of an International Harvester tractor.

    Warsaw Community College? Wacky Circus Clowns?

  80. dyslexic dog
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    . . . or Wiccan Charterstone Community

  81. Little Guy
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    6: SpideySlash It…. works!

    MT: The speculation was over when the Wiccans became the prime suspect. I’d like to see Mark’s reaction when he tries to use his Fist o’ Justice on Dark WIllow as she says, “Bored Now.”

    Then again, “Bored Now” encompasses many strips.

    Curtis: The teacher holds…. tomorrow’s strip. How surreal.

    GT: I am *really* looking to one of the kids going into cardiac arrest, and Gil trying to keep the offending footage off teh internets. Silly coach. You can’t stop the signal.

    yPV: Full of Win!

    yLio: Full of Win!

    BB: No one’s watched JAG? NCIS?

    JP: Unfortunately, it’s not the county-singing father that tweens care about these days. It’s the underaged, sexually active double-life daughter that’s been lampooned on The Soup

    RMMD:. I was hoping Guido was going to hulk out and start smashing.

  82. Frank Parsnip
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    MT: After hours of internet research, Mark will catch on that the barrels come from the Waco Cask Company, were sold to the Wholesale Chemical Company, which filled them up with bulk product sold to the Woodson Chemical Company that was then stolen by Walter C. Codgson, a man with facial hair he can punch off.

    MW: And if I boldface houseguest, you can wink-wink, nudge-nudge, get what I mean, say-no-more, say-no-more!

    DtM: Dennis trying to be a wiseass while walking out of Mr. Wilson’s house? Not menacing. Dennis being a wiseass about knowing other ways to break into Mr. Wilson’s house, a bit better.

    Marvin: Oh, crap. A doggie version of “Belly Laffs”. Hey, why does a dog lick its private parts? Because it can. And if they repeat the one about the dog who eats garlic having a bark worse than its bite, I’m sure someone’ll put a flaming bag of dog poop on Armstrong’s doorstep.

    Slylock Fox: I am hoping for many more appearances of Lulu Lynx (apparently a wealthy version of Cassandra Cat), but the coloring idiots made her fox/lobster-red instead of the mottled light orange of her sort. Not to be confused with the shower gel:

    Jugs Parker: Freckles McSpectacles is ready to give a vicious backhand to any cheerleading moms, if that’ll be useful.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: Guido thought the boy was with his mother, down in the ship’s automated coal bunker. And now we’ll get to see the most welcome cast addition since Oliver started appearing on Brady Bunch episodes.

    A3G: Oh, this is going to go down like a lead balloon. As if in the wake of the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square masscres the PRC’s security guys aren’t going to be all juiced and ready to kick Rick Lander’s ass? And since when was a monastery “sanctuary” anywhere but in medieval Europe? Keep in mind that up until recently, Eric’s brother was being kept in a prison/monastery, which may give some idea as to how co-opted the local monks were just a few weeks ago.

    Blondie: Yeah, it would be cool to wear black-rubber hip boots around Herb, who often frequents the Fly Fishermen’s Fetish Fair each year in Sheboygan. But to really fit in with that Tom of Finland Gummihosen crowd, Dagwood needs to take off his shirt and grow the sort of ‘stache Herb sports.

    Beetle Bailey: Don’t ask, don’t tell. Once again, Beetle’s quest for recognition has been shushed down by his lover.

  83. Little Guy
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    MC: We look forward to the spinoff strip, “Squishy WIthout Squishy”.

  84. Vince M
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:39 am [Reply]
    Okay, but I sure don’t wanna watch the love scene!

  85. Bryan
    June 8th, 2009 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    During the Secret Wars arc back in the 80′s Spiderman proved himself to be one of the Marvel Universe’s heavy-hitters when he pretty much mopped the floor with all of the X-Men. If I remember correctly, it was only Professor X’s mind control that finally stopped him in the end. But he definitely made Wolverine his Labatt’s-swilling bitch.

    Of course, that was back when Spiderman was awesome and this comic strip iteration of Spidey has nothing to do with that.

  86. wanders
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    MW: Josh, you may have called a Mary Worth “Pool Party” on June 3, but I scooped you on June 2. I suppose neither of us should be too proud as it was inevitable. Everyone’s getting a little antsy waiting for the pretzel sticks!

  87. buckyswife
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    JP: Marie certainly is getting worked up over those moms; she looks like she’s ready to get all Dixie Julep on their ass.

    MT: Some of you may laugh at the idea of Mark doing research on the google and all. But when he can’t find what he wants and he punches the internet, we’re ALL going to be sorry.

    MW: I, and others, have mocked the color coordinated universe of Mary Worth. But today’s strip, a horrific medley of lilac, raspberry, Pepto, burnt orange, watery sky blue, and just plain blue (which wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t applied to Ian’s sport coat), should make us a little more content with the status quo.

  88. kalki
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    85: Bryan–Back during the Secret Wars, I also was impressed with Spidey and how he defeated the X-Men, but then I realized later that it wasn’t a true battle because the X-Men weren’t really trying to hurt Spidey, just stop him from revealing the X-Men’s plan to the rest of the heroes. Also, it wasn’t exactly a X-Men lineup of heavy hitters, if I recall correctly. I guess Storm and Cyclops were the only ones who could hit Spidey from a distance.

  89. mordock999
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 06/08/09

    “You do the ASKING, next time”?
    Ohhhh, brother.

    Okay, then. Gunther: ‘ASK’ Luann if she wants to get laid.

    I Double-Dog DARE you!


    DEATH yo TJ!

  90. kalki
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Archie: Veronica’s dad is so evil that he has now inflicted shrinkage on Archie and Jughead.

    Baldo: Hello! It’s called “reading”! It’s fundamental! Learn to do it because computers won’t work during the blackouts ahead and masturbation won’t entertain you forever.

    Blondie: Great, now Herb’s erect, so what next?

    Crank: I guess at that age, it’s time to put the childproof locks back on the doors to the chemicals under the sink.

    CircusJerk: Sadly appropriate for Dolly.

    FW: I think Susan is busy right now with Les’ involuntary commitment papers if she read the parts about all of his conversations and visits with dead Lisa.

    Wolverine, featuring some guy named Pete: oooo Wolverine mixes his past and present tenses in his last sentence. His toughness knows no bounds.

  91. anonymous
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    #48 – It’s obvious that Woverine does his shopping for reasonably priced jogging suits at Loehmann’s in White Plains (or maybe there’s a Champion outlet?) – he did browse in Macy’s and Bloomingdales in Manhattan, but you can’t believe what they were asking? The shoes I can’t account for – maybe he found them in a dumpster.

  92. Hip Young Urban Plugger
    June 8th, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    At last, today’s strip gives me what I’ve always wanted in Gil Thorp: all of the “different” “characters” lying on the ground, dead or dying. I hope this lasts all week!

  93. gleeb
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    82 (Parsnip): Dharamsala is, in fact, in India. The Tibetan “Government-in-exile” is based there.

  94. 8th Man Fan
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    #84 Vince M: My guess is that Sunday’s WYH is the one with the potential love scene. Today’s is more of a “Scratch Your Head” entry.

    A3G: Is Margo still using analog TV? Wouldn’t want to be in the FCC’s shoes on June 12, when she finds out that the digital signals for many channels are so poor, half her channels will be gone.

    Pluggers: A Pluggers speed date? No way. They’ll hit 7 p.m. just waiting on line at their first stop.

    FW: Somehow, I’m reminded of someone else who regularly had conversations with a dearly departed loved one.

  95. Terry Howard
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    These legacy comic strips are really getting some mileage out of the keynote from last year’s comic creators conference entitled: “Facebook, What’s Up With That?”

  96. sangwij
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    I love how houseguest is all in bold. It’s like they wrote bitch and had to erase it and put something else in.

  97. sangwij
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Post #96 refers to MW. Obviously.

  98. Anonymous
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Sorry to interrupt the snark, but the X-Men are in NORTHERN Westchester, not Yonkers.

  99. Winky's Spleen
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth – The part in Faye’s hair moves according to which way her head is turned. I can’t get mine to do that.

  100. labradog
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    The uncensored version of Snuffy Smith was “tha kids’ll shanghai ya into bein’ their RUMP!”

    Remember, these little hillbilly snot-ranchers are the grandkids of the guys Ned Beatty ran into in “Deliverance”!

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]


    MT: Of course! Who else could be dumping chemicals in the Lost Forest but WC Fields? “Just dump the little bastards in the woods, ah yes. Go away kid, you bother me.” I picture that last part spoken to Rusty. By a lot of people.

    MW: Mary ensures that when Delilah arrives she’ll be the subject of gossip and pitying looks. That’s classic Mary Meddle phase one all right.

    FW: “Um, just sitting up here. Not thinking about jumping, that’s for sure.”

    DtM: No offense, Dennis, but I don’t blame Mr. Wilson for playing it safe.

    Ziggy: Small mercy in that the “tweet” sound heard over the phone doesn’t lead to a Twitter joke.

    GA: That’s some crazy crossover going on today. Upton O. Goode obviously should be getting gunned down by Dick Tracy. His sister–or girlfriend he disturbingly calls sister–and her hot ass belong in Judge Parker.

    Baldo: Dim as he may be, Baldo has a point. Sergio can’t really take credit for not staring at a computer all day when he didn’t have one.

    SFx: Of course Slylock is wrong, and he doesn’t have the warrant needed for a cavity search on Patty Opossum.

    Marvin: “Bitsy’s Dog Blog” aka “Sketches Tom Armstrong left lying around before he went into detox.”

    Blondie: Man, whatever scene Dagwood and Herb are part of, I’m not sure I want to know about it.

    BB: Well Mark and Chase from Doonesbury have kind of stolen their thunder. Beetle and Sarge can still be the second gay couple to get divorced in the funnies, though.

  102. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Herb: I’ve got the matching rubber top with the rubber face mask, too. Wanna come down to my basement?

    JP: Here’s the plan – the drunken aging rocker distracts the moms, the evil cheerleader girls are all like “Who?” Sophie is clear to strut her cheerleading stuff. But what they don’t consider is that cheerleading is a subjective judgement. Who is judging this thing? If it’s someone who wants to keep Sophie off the team, they’ll do it easily.

    Gil: With the recent revelations that Gil has become aware of this new internet thing, surely he can use it to find out that every year a few kids drop dead on the field due to heat stroke from being overworked on hot days. Way to think of player safety, Gil! Oh, and he’s videotaping the savagery which he inflicts on his kids while sipping lemonade and laughing. Yeah, looks great in front of a jury, Gil.

    Hagar is so awful today that it makes my head hurt. The Guillotine was named for its inventor, Joseph Ignace Guillotin, who wasn’t even born during the time of the Vikings. He did not “invent” the device until 1791. I say “invent”, because it was based on a similar contraption, the Halifax Gibbet, but even that was invented in 1286, after the Vikings.

    Historical inaccuracies aside, the titular character is relegated to a non-speaking part pushed to the back of the crowd. If, 4 people lined in single file could be considered a “crowd”. Hagar merely stares silently at the rabble of peasantry before him as if he’s working off a wicked hangover. And who is this never before seen king person?

    But threats of gruesome death on the comics page = comedy gold!

  103. Hank
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    RE: Archie. Wow. Even the Lodge family must’ve been hit hard by the current recession if they can’t afford to heat their pool. Either that, or Mr. Lodge’s latest plan to turn his daughter off Archie involves “shrinkage.”

    RE: ReFOOB. I see that Laurence developed his fascination for shoving something down Michael’s throat at a very young age. Too bad it remained forever unrequited.

  104. Rusty
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    FW: Les has had those chairs up on the roof for over 10 years now. It can only be more embarrassing for him if he is shown with his pants around his ankles.

  105. Rusty
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    103: We don’t know if Lawrence deflowered Michael. Maybe Johnston will fill in the back story on their “special” friendship when drawing the “new” material.

  106. Larry McAwful
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    I lived in New York City for three years and Jersey City for seven, and I can vouch after ten years of working in Manhattan, there really is a widespread belief that a place like Westchester County is as wild and as sprawling as the middle of Wyoming. There really is a widespread belief that New Jersey is a similar expanse of wilderness. There’s also a widespread belief that if you go an hour’s drive west of Philadelphia you might as well be in Alabama. Actually, that part about central Pennsylvania being like Alabama is accurate, which I can vouch for, having lived there for a long time, too.

    Peter Parker is just as insular as most New Yorkers. And he might as well be, because what good is webslinging if you’re nowhere near tall buildings in the first place? “Hmm… Wolverine’s on the 6 train. I’ve got to catch him before he gets above 125th Street, or my powers will be useless to stop him!” “Well, sure, I can follow Wolverine on the L… wait, he’s not getting off at Bedford Avenue! Where’s he going… and why? You can’t get a lambic or café au lait or even decent Chinese past Williamsburg! What do people do out there, anyway? I wouldn’t move there, even for rent control!” Etc.

  107. Luftkissen
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Is that Steve Jobs?

    Are the Croc-ites shooting Steve Jobs?

  108. Trogdor
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: I’ve never loved Ted more than when he was telling Phil to choke on the tears of his impending divorce. Great job Ces! Ted is now the perfect coach – supporting the kids, but not taking any crap from the abusive parents. I never thought I’d say this, but when my kids get old enough for organized sports, I hope they have a coach like Ted Forth.

  109. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    BB: Is one of those lawyers Mr. Froofram from Hi & Lois? I didn’t know that’s what vague industry he was involved in.

    AJGLU 3K: I have to say that I love panel 2. That is, I at least imagine that Mr. Lodge rigged up a 50,000 volt line to that pool and is getting his daily yukks from watching his daughter’s friends writhe in the agony that they fully deserve.

    Big Dog: Yes, we all know that Marmadick is a devil dog, hound of hell with a taste for human flesh. I think this is supposed to be some kind of reference to the census next year. Couldn’t Marm’s owners have just sent the forms in by mail? No, they need to lure that pollster to her horrific end to ensure that the Great Dane doesn’t eat his captive family for a snack.

    MW: I think we’re supposed to see that Mary uses discression when it comes to revealing Del’s marital problems. But the way she beefs up the word HOUSEGUEST is sort of telling. And wouldn’t it also raise suspicions that she’s planning to stay for months without her husband even though she lives a few miles away in the Valley? Wouldn’t anybody pick up on these… Oh, wait, she’s talking to Toby. Del’s secret is safe.

  110. Josh
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    #98 Anon — Even the most sparsely populated town in Westchester has about 200 people per square mile; contast this with, say, Wyoming, which has about 5 people per square mile. My point is that the whole county these days is solidly suburbia, which is a wholly artificial environment, aka “civilization”.

  111. Alan's Addiction
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    I hope I’m not the only one who spent the entirety of today’s Spider-man wondering, “Hey, are those antennae coming out of Wolverine’s forehead?” It’s also a sign of a comics lagging popularity when, instead of serving as a plug for a movie that came out recently, the comic is forced to use references to aforementioned movie to improve its own popularity. What makes it even sadder is that the “Wolverine” movie Spider-Man’s writers are hoping will boost their popularity was an unholy abomination of celluloid. In that sense, it’s kind of like the film was actually the movie version of the Spider-Man comic strip.
    I can only hope that there are two possible outcomes of today’s Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: first, that Uriah wakes up in a bath tub full of ice, with the words, “You have had a kidney removed – seek medical attention” scrawled on the ceiling, and Uriah can only think to himself, “Not again.” The second potential situation I’m hoping for is that this is the beginning of some sort of horrible reenactment of “Lord of the Flies,” except that, instead of a conch shell, the kids use mailmen or other minor authority figures.
    Today’s Crock offers an interesting alternative to the traditional comics tactic of being humorous: be so horribly depressing that you drive your own readers to suicide. I can’t imagine what sort of marketing value this would have, but it would take care of “overpopulation” on the big list of depressing events.

  112. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    The Dim Mind of Edison Lee: Yeah, that’s a real funny one. I remember our IT people make jokes about it back in 1995. What, Edison, can’t find anything mundane to say about MyPageBookSpace?

  113. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Well done with the lynx, Mr. Weber, and the ear tufts in particular, but you seem to have neglected the equally characteristic cheek tufts. I hope that a future episode will compensate for the omission.

    (I recognize the possibility that they’re present in principle but covered up by her sweeping hairdo, which is a less characteristic lynx feature.)

  114. Brick Bradford
    June 8th, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Enjoy, pool party fans.

    A3G: Bad writing 101: Resolve dangling subplot by way of television news story. This probably means Margo’s trip to China is off. Too bad, I was looking forward to her causing a nuclear war. The Chinese’ target could have been the old Minuteman silos in South Dakota, thus eliminating the Luann subplot as well.

    Archie: It’s funny because Mr. Lodge is a dick. Actually, it was mildly humorous.

    9CL: ?

    DT: Tracy appears to be instantly teleporting between the casino and the Plenty manse. What will Vitamin Flintheart come up with next?

  115. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    #81 Little Guy – Curtis: You made me spit-take my coffee.

  116. Foobaphobe
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Is this the author’s response to all of us who said the strip makes us vomit? The characters are now trying to puke in our faces? Lynne has more gumption than I thought.

  117. Larry McAwful
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    If we can have a Spiderman/Wolverine crossover, can a Spiderman/Apartment 3G crossover be far behind? Then maybe Peter Parker and the Green Goblin’s alter ego can double date with Tommie and Margo. They can fight about olives, maybe. The mind just reels.

  118. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Mrs. Nelson’s boyfriend was Ted Confey with some shoe polish. She’s holding a check for $10K that she was going to lend him.

    Doctors smarter than teachers? Even a dumbass like Adrian Cory got out with only $5K.

    Teachers smarter than doctors? Mrs. Nelson didn’t actually give him the money.

    Meanwhile Curtis can’t adjust the time on his watch.

    You make the call.

    I looked at the map of Westchester, and even in the northern areas, it’s pretty heavily developed. There’s a nature preserve here and there, but it’s an exurb for sure. Maybe Wolv was just passing through Manhattan to get to the rambling wilds of Queens.

    I saw a documentary of NYC once, and I got a chuckle every time they mentioned someone purchasing land “out in the country” where it’s now skyscrapers. For example, to trim the budget of Town Hall on 43rd St., they used the better looking stone in the front and the less appealing, cheaper stone in the back. They reasoned that no one would ever be approaching from that direction. They said Central Park was useless, because it was too far out to be accessible to the public at large.

  119. TheDiva
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    FW: “Contemplating the hollow void that the last fifteen years of my life has been. Care to join me?”

    Luann: Oh, I can’t wait until Gunther tries to get Luann into bed. “I’m thinking of having sex. Sex is fun. It’s more fun with two, though…”

    MW: This is the first pool party I’ve ever seen where not a single person is wearing a swimsuit. And I can’t tell you how eternally grateful I am for that.

  120. wagmore barkless
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Alas, it appears the Charterstone portfolio was heavy on the toxic assets: they’ve had to do some serious downsizing on the size of the pool.

  121. Pester
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    #2- I watched the x-men cartoon, although the plots on that were often ridiculously convuluted, to the point where when I was studying the war of the roses and the Stuarts from there or the persian dynasties for AP tests, I had the mantra of “If I can understand x-men, I can understand this.” whenever I got frustrated.

    Speaking of the cartoon version, I just noticed from the throwaway panel’s in Sunday’s Spiderman that a lot
    of the character designs from the old spiderman cartoon seem to come from this version rather than the comic books. Mysterio, Rhino, Vulture, Kraven, Dr. Doom, the especially ridiculous-looking Green Goblin could’ve been traced from this page, and the faces of supporting characters like Aunt May, MJ, and Jameson.

  122. Old School Allie Cat
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Luann – Where I come from, fairs aren’t usually held this early in the year – because the “exhibits” Gunther is mentioning are largely agricultural, and wouldn’t have had time to grow yet. The largest pumpkin in June would be puny compared to the ones you’ll see in September.

    And even thought I never joined FFA and my brief stint in 4-H was a requirement of everyone in my 5th Grade Class, I know a thing or two about fairs.

    That’s right people – who has two thumbs and a Tennessee State Fair 3rd place ribbon for her 2008 Pepper Jelly entry? This girl, right here!

    Yeah, I may live in the urban metropolis of Nashville, TN, but I still grow my own peppers and turn them into jelly. What do you think of that, Mary Worth?

    Also, in the heat of June, the last two things in the world I’d want to do are: 1. Go into the outdoor animal pens and 2. Eat a molten, greasy funnel cake.

    I think the only way this plotline could get interesting is if Gunther runs off with a Carnie. Or if they ride The Scrambler and Luann barfs.

  123. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    MW: And here’s what’s in those small styrofoam cups…

  124. Jamus The Bartender
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    88. You don’t consider Storm, Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue, Professor X AND villain turned reluctant ally Magneto heavy hitters? You’re tough my friend.

  125. commodorejohn
    June 8th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    A.D. – Clever.

    Crankshaft – *facepalm*

    Curtis – !?

    DT – Okay, seriously, we’re not just stalling here, we’re slowly working our way backwards. A few years from now, we’ll be watching the Queen of Diamonds fly up out of the smokestack just as Dick yanks his foot away from her.

    FC – You know, there’s been lots of times where The Family Circus has made me angry, but I think this is the first time it’s depressed me.

    FW – Batiuk, are you even pretending that this is metaphorical anymore?

    GA – Introducing: two random nobodies who are a billion times less annoying than Slim.

    Lio – Win.


    MT – What is that? Is that a word processor? But…how could Mark look up information with a glorified typewriter? Unless it’s the Word Processor of the Gods? Maybe we’re about to witness the first Reality Alteration O’ Justice?

    MW – It sure was nice of them to invite the Fonz to the pool party.

    MC – Ed, you better keep the meta in balance, or I’ll have to get out the rolled-up newspaper.

    OBH – Ruthie prefers commercial success to artistic purity.

    Phantom – So…what late ’60s minicomputer is that the front panel of, anyway?

    RMMD – It’s like this sequence was written especially for bats :[ – thank you, Wilson!

    Edison Lee – beats The Simpsons to the punch by about -15 years.

  126. Niall
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    121. Pester: Your x-men mantra is extremely valid, and could be used to great effect to any teenager who is a Marvel or DC continuity fan but who disdains history: Hey, it’s less complex than your comic books!”

    …somehow I just suddenly felt immensely sad.

    123. Sequitur: An amazing and hilarious find!

  127. Friend Record
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Weird: The throwaway panels were indeed creations of John Romita Sr., who did the art for the SM strip when it started, in fact his name used to follow Stan’s in the “credits” box (yellow in this case), but his name was removed when he left. I don’t mind the art now, but JRSr’s strips were magnificent.

    In regards to today’s strip, I am disappointed that Wolverine has stopped referring to himself in the third person. Try doing it yourself, it’s fun!

  128. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Sunday Crock: No one pointed out that Schmeese’s hands are alternately tied up and free. But maybe Schmeese is the master of escape. Look how he convinces Captain Poulet to take his place. Those ropes are nothing, and now the firing squad will shoot one of their own, allowing Schmeese to again plot against the much feared French Foreign Legion.

    I don’t know if this was part of the so-called “joke”, but Captain Poulet asks a man tied to a post to “Move over.” I think that was unintended, but it’s wittier than the intended punch line of “Life is such agony.”

  129. Black Drazon
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in the throwaway panels, Doctor Octopus has beheaded all his fellow villains for the sole purpose of throwing them at Spider-Man! Will Spidey be able to protect himself with a shield made of the heads of his own loved ones, including, somehow, himself?

  130. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Monday’s FW:
    Someone smack Creepy Les hard. And then again. Until he stops.
    Can’t someone stop Brooke? It’s Monty again. How the F- is this entertaining or funny? And why ugly people?

  131. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    When I was little, I would pretend I was king, or space admiral or some exalted position of prestige. True, I fell short of being a space admiral, and not just because they haven’t yet built my armada. Dolly Keane, realizing her limitations, is setting her sights on being an office drone with long, dreary hours and a pittance of pay. She, too, will fall short of her childhood fantasies and be some kind of house cleaner. At best, her career options top out at a cameo on “Orange Headed Big Booty Chix 4″. Things just haven’t been the same in the Keane Kompound since Bil & Thel sold all the kids toys for meth money.

  132. Muffaroo
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    What with vacation and all, even my reading of comics grew a beard and started wearing sandals, which means I lost track of some things. Not that it matters a whole lot, as many strips seem to be on their usual holding pattern. Anyway, it’s nice to be back.

    A3G – Who cares about Margo’s guy pal? Who even cares about the missing Lama? I want to know what life is like for Rick Landers in the Lhasa bureau, sitting around awkwardly in his tie and blazer in this quiet months between his dispatches.

    BBailey – Did they change artists? There’s a sort of an unexplained touch of life in the first panel.

    DTracy – Whoa! I’ve missed a week of explanation that (I’m guessing) will bring me up to date to the day I stopped reading. Let’s hope that newspaper publishers don’t ever realize they could probably just run each strip one time per week without losing anything.

    FCircus – There’s Dolly in a box. She has an entire cardboard box (judging from how much bigger it is than Dolly, it probably held a toaster), so she tapes paper to the sides to draw on. Psst! Dolly! It’s a box! You could write on it! I know you can’t think outside the box, kid, but try and think inside it.

    FBasset – Ha! Fart joke today.

    Les @24 – Since Wolverine is now on a comic page, he must take on the aspect of a comic strip character, just as he adopted the face of a movie star for the big screen. Those hair things you’re wondering about are technically known as “dagwoods.”

    boojum @73 – “Knock knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Gilda’s uvula.”
    “Gulda’s uvula who?”
    “I don’t know, Gilda . (pause) But I do know this…”

  133. Vince M
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    94: 8th Man Fan, re. Sunday’s WYH:
    Shocking – positively shocking.

  134. Fashion Police
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    We long to see Mary Worth re-imagined as a Victorian melodrama. We should be careful what we wish for. Apparently, Ms. Moy and Mr. Giella can only reach back to 1967, and that only via and old Playboy discovered in Mr. Giella’s hope chest.

    We are particularly taken with Professor “Chinbeard” Cameron’s brocade electric-blue dinner jacket and mock turtleneck, which, while reasonably true to period, represents a depressing failure of nerve. That jacket just screams to be paired with a ruffled shirt worn open at the neck with a paisley ascot. We find the Professor’s effort at retro kitsch sadly wanting.

    The rest is no more than the expected bad taste and blandness, but no less depressing for all that.

    We shall now go shopping, and attempt to avoid contemplating the Camerons’ visit to Scotland, where the chinbearded one will no doubt feel compelled to purchase a kilt.

  135. tb4000
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Crock: Goddammit Schemeese, Twitter is where it’s at, man. Even though these other decades old strips name dropping of it are causing it to be dated way before its time, at least attempt to follow suit, dawg.

  136. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Ah! After reading today’s Funky about 37 times, I finally get it. That’s not Dead Lisa calling to him from outside the panel. I think it’s a not-dead-yet person who has discovered wallow-in-misery Les sitting alone with a convenient spare chair for an unsuspecting haven’t-heard-enough-depressing-monologue companion. My bet is that it is mopey-daughter Summer or his way-too-chipper-for-this-strip girlfriend.

  137. kalki
    June 8th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    124 If I recall correctly, the X-Men were going to join Magneto–he wasn’t part of the encounter with Spidey. Compare the lineup you mentioned to one with Phoenix or Magneto or even Juggernaut…well, you get the idea. Then compare with say the Avengers lineup of Thor, Iron Man, Cap–I would have liked to have seen Spidey mess with those guys…

  138. Bryan
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Hogenmogen: Doctors smarter than teachers? Even a dumbass like Adrian Cory got out with only $5K.

    Not to be persnickity or anything, but didn’t Mr. Confey soak our dear Adrian for 50k? Because I remember thinking, “She just cut the guy a check for fifty thousand dollars?” All of my internal organs harvested and sold on the Chinese black market aren’t worth that much. To quote Ruthless People: “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the Earth.”

  139. Phred22
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    MT: After Mark locates some suspects with the right initials, he’ll find out which have excess facial hair. Since WC might stand for my alma mater, I could give him a few leads.

  140. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    C’Shaft The cig issue aside, that Rose is one grand old snoop.

  141. Winky's Spleen
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Hogenmogen #128 – Schmeese as a master of escape would make some sense, since he’s usually shown awaiting the firing squad. Unless it’s a very, very slow and disorganized firing squad, which in Crock also seems plausible. But it seems rather plausible to thing of Schmeese as a semi-master of escape, who keeps getting away and being caught again. That way he’d also have had the chance over the years to find out about the swine flu and boom boxes and such.

  142. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    # 122 Allie Cat — I read today’s LUANN quickly and somehow missed the fact that they are supposedly going to a fair, rather than a circus. A fair??? Are county and state fairs held this early even in the South? I hope we’ll get to see this fair.

    And congrats on your win! Woot woot! I too have known the joy of being one of the top five in a State Fair competition. In my case, the feeling of joy was way out of proportion to the actual achievement, but that was part of the fun.

  143. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    # 122 Allie Cat — I should add that the Iowa State Fair is held in the middle of August, so incredible heat and humidity are part of the experience. June would be far more comfortable, but the veggie exhibits would be sparse.

  144. Bryan
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I love how the parents are all, “Where did you get these things!!!
    Gee, maybe she bought them at the store. She walked in, plunked down her $7.50 and said, “Gimmee some smokes!” They’re not illegal, even in Ohio, yet.

    Personally, I’m amused by an old woman who says, “Fuck it! I’m smoking!”

  145. Packherd
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Crock is the penultimate example of the Old Person Scattershot Complaint strategy, where they just rattle off buzzwords they’ve heard recently on Fox News, having no real idea what they mean. Someone about to be executed does not have internet access, the right to vote, or any income on which to pay taxes. They also get free health care.

    We should execute old people, is what I’m trying to say.

  146. Eldaglass
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #16 COTW!

  147. Jackuul
    June 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    144. With it being the Cancershafted Universe, I believe that anyone in it who does not smoke will die a long and painful cancer related death, while the old woman who took up smoking will outlive them all.

  148. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    #142 O Poteet my queen! – Well of COURSE state fairs are held in the South – just where do you suppose we get all our Beauty Pageant queens from? Listen, when Justine Butterswing won the Miss June Bug Festival crown at the Greater Metropolitan Roopville Fair to Middling last year, it made all the papers. Both of ‘em.

    We take great pride in our Collard Green Queens and our Dixie Peach Festival Maids – and where would the Featherhams get their attitude, if not for the legacy of their girls winning the Little Miss Fruit Fly Festival each and every year down to the county fair? Oh you betcha we have fairs here, although sometimes they make an effort and become Pretty Good Actuallys.

  149. Fashion Police
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    #122, Old School Allie Cat:
    Perhaps Gunther will win the dressmaking ribbon. The cast of Mary Worth would be much improved if Gunther made their clothing.

  150. Old School Allie Cat
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    #142 and #148 – Truman, I think Poteet was asking more about the timeline rather than the actual existence. The Tennessee State Fair comes right after labor day, and given that it’s in Tennessee, it’s still way too hot to be civilized.

    I have to think if they tried to do it any earlier, the kiddos might get 3rd degree burns riding the ferris wheel. Fried Oreos, OK. Fried Toddlers, Bad.

    This last year, my husband and I (in our mid 30′s) got our faces painted and our friend took our picture – it ended up being our Christmas card and got rave reviews.

    Truman, I know it’ll interest you that my favorite exhibit is always the goats. They are so sweet and friendly – plus, I find the horizontal pupils mesmerizing. Then of course, poultry and rabbits.

  151. Jamus The Bartender
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    137. You’ve got a good point. It HAS been twenty years since I read Secret Wars, and it’s no doubt buried under a good dozen long boxes of some kind of DC product by now. Still and all, comic book Spidey is no one to mess with. Comic STRIP Spidey on the other hand, go right ahead.

  152. Jamus The Bartender
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Luann, et al: It could be one of those ” let’s get the people out to spend money” fairs that happen early in the summer. The ” Canal Days” summer fair from The Bartender’s hometown of Lockport Illinois, not NY, should be in the carny-shipping stages right about now.

  153. True Fable
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    #142 again O Poteet my queen – Ahhh, you meant you were surprised they had them this early. In that case perhaps I should clarify.

    We have Festivals in the early part of the summer while we are waiting for the corn to ripen and the squash to overrun the garden. A Festival can celebrate anything just as long as it makes for a nice poster to hang up in the window of the Git-N-Go or near the cash register at Carl’s Pig Stand And Barbeque. Or, in the case of the Fruit Fly Festival, if the harvest is lousy and you need something, anything, to celebrate real quick-like.

    In the fall we have the fairs, where many a family pride takes a beating if their canned peppers do not earn a certain level of ribbon at the judging table. Miss Aletha Vineworthy was fit to be tied last season when her lovely plump Red Peppers lost out to the spectacular Hot Chow-Chow Salsa entry from Loquatious Nabors, but that’s how it goes at Fair Time.

  154. Niall
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    bats :[, you are still the grandmistress of photoshop.

    Poteet, why did it take you so long to click on Angry Kem’s name? Tsk tsk

    On the current Sunday Phantom storyline: I don’t know why it took me this long, but the wizened old advisors, considering the mores of the time in which this seems to take place, should have had a single, time-honoured tradition to offer: concubine! Marry the girl, boink the grown woman, learn a heck of a lot on how to pleasure a woman and make the girl go absolutely wild. And all completely legally!

    Slylock today: Didn’t we see a Lulu Lynx before? The name rings a bell, but I know she wasn’t this fur colour. Maybe she’s just so steamed that her ring got stolen, but that’s dangerous in snooty French restaurants (judging from the server’s moustache and attitude) where one could be confused with the homard au beurre. Sly, that goes for you too. Also, who ever takes the soup home?? And which fancy restaurants give you enough soup of enough depth to hide a ring inside? In any case, she should just have slipped it in her pouch, no one will investigate there without a damned good warrant.

  155. Little Guy
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Sundays with the Stripeybutts: So, they’re not into Big Love, but they’re into delayed One Prince One Vagina Marriage. Personally, I think Kit and Di just want to keep Rex in the basement of the Skull Cave

  156. bats :[
    June 8th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    113. One-eyed Wolfdog: awwwww! Thank you for the pretty kitty pictures!

  157. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    #132 Muffaroo: Inna Gilda yew-vyu-lah, honey, don’t cha know that I LUH-HUV you-hoo…

    All this Wolverine talk makes me think about huge jackmans. I just can’t help it.

  158. bats :[
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    154. Niall: thank you for the kind words! I’d dedicate this to you, but…well, I’ll dedicate the first panel to you, and we’ll call it even.

  159. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    #158 bats:[ That was great. It would have been neat to see Willy poking his head out from behind the bush in panel 2.

  160. Bobdog, Jungle Patrol SVU (not an elephant)
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Are the author’s of Spiderman deliberately baiting snarky bloggers with the phrase “just like a real wolverine” or are they in on the joke (ala ALGU3000 references in Archie) or just dim?

  161. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    I do like the yellow box on Sunday’s Spiderman
    And no one bats an eyelash.

  162. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    #138 – Bryan, that solves it. Teachers are smarter than Doctors. So Mrs. Nelson and Les Moore are smarter than the Drs. Corey: Jeff, Adrian and Drew. I used to feel sorry for Les’s students, but I should feel very, very sorry for Adrian’s patients.

  163. AAckTTpth
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Buzkashi has been introduced to Hootin’ Holler?

  164. Zaq
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    162 Hogenmogen: How does good old Rex fit into the equation here?

  165. boojum
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Fashion Police @149: The cast of Mary Worth would be much improved if the living dead made their clothing. That much ugly can’t be an accident. That much ugly is intentional.

  166. Hogenmogen
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    164 – Zaq – Rex is far from being the brains behind the operation. His daughter solved the mystery behind the missing kid. His office assistant is about to find Willy’s father. Abby the Wonderdog caught a meth dealer. Rex was supposed to catch Hugh Long, the impostor doctor, but Hugh Long is on the loose (I need a t-shirt saying that).

    After Les’s impressive insight into the construction of water bottles, I’d have to tip in favor of teachers smarter than doctors.

  167. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    # 153 — Sir Fable MTK, yes, I was trying to figure out if LUANN might be set in the South, since a fair is occurring so early. And then I wondered if fairs take place as early as June even in the South.

    Of course I know y’all have fairs down there, and I’m sure they are wonderful. Though I do believe the Iowa State Fair is the only state fair that has been made into a novel and a movie and listed in 100 Things You’re Supposed To Do Before You Die And Buying This Book Is Number One, or some such. (Please excuse — we Iowans have a thing about our State Fair, though it takes place during what is arguably the most hellish time of year in terms of weather.)

    And Festivals sound familiar. We too have small-town festivals during early summer, but they are often known as various kinds of Days. Scandinavian Days, Sweet Corn Days, Popcorn Days, Ice Cream Days, Lincoln Highway Days, Railroad Days, Self-Pleasuring Days — oops, I made up that last one, har har. Though at least it could take place in air-conditioned surroundings and would be more fun than anything we are likely to see in LUANN.

    I like goat exhibits also.

  168. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    #167 Poteet – The movie remake of State Fair takes place at the Texas State Fair in Dallas (which occurs in October, by the way).

  169. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    # 154 Niall — Sorry, don’t quite understand the reference to Angry Kem(?)

    And seeing your name and remembering your special gift made me wonder if, per # 167, there are Chocolate Days. And I just found out on the Internets that there are a number of national chocolate holidays. Just yesterday I missed National Chocolate Ice Cream Day. Dang.

  170. Ukulele Ike
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    There is a simple solution to the Mystery of the Faded Initials on the Mark Trail drums….they are filled with the discarded contents of someone’s “WC.”

    Mark should dip in a finger for a taste. All will be made clear.

  171. bats :[
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    159. Sequitur: no! Please! I really want the Morgans to leave Willy far, far behind…there are far more interesting characters who are introduced that I’d much prefer!

    Let Willy be a Cabin Boy in perpetuity, or something.

  172. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    #170 Ukulele Ike – Wow! Mark toughing crap will make it clear?! He must really be a super hero!

  173. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Uh, That’s touching, not toughing. On the other hand…

  174. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    #171 bats:[ Oh, god, no. Not the tights! NOT THE TIGHTS!

  175. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    # 168 Sequitur — How do the October dates work in terms of kids being able to go to the Fair? Just curious.

  176. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    # 171 bat:[ — Gaaaaaaah! You’ve just reminded me of why I’d rather see Willy drown in the ocean than become a permanent cast member. It would be a cruel, cruel blow to be stuck with Willy while wonderful Count Morgu has been left far behind. Dump Willy! Dump Willy! Dump Willy!

  177. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    173 Poteet – They have a special day during the run of the fair where they let the kids off to go to the fair. There’s also a couple of weekends that the fair runs through. It’s also the only fair you get to meet Big Tex!

  178. boojum
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Poteet: First Place, Blue Ribbion holder right here — Self Pleasuring Days, 2008.

    I’m, uh, assuming you don’t want to hold it. The ribbon.

    We have now officially devoted far more time to the question of Gunther’s fair than the artist has to the entire developmental arc of his primary characters.

    Myself, I was going to argue that Gunther was talking about a street fair, like the huge St. Joseph’s Fairs held March 19th in many big cities. Then Luann mentioned the midway, which seems out of place for a street celebration. Then I noticed that Gunther was holding a 16-page, apparently bound Fair Guide complete with advertisements. Then I said, screw Gunther. I’m making myself a caipirinha.

  179. Sequitur
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Ya’know, nowhere does it mention that it’s a state fair. It could be a county fair.

  180. Angry Kem
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    #169 Poteet: Niall’s reference to me is, I think, in regards to the fact that you have…well…been reading my comic lately. Clicking on my name will take you to it.

  181. Crunchy Frog
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    Charterstone pool parTAY! Oh, life is good.

  182. Uncle Lumpy
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]


    No Man on Stairs, no cuppa blood — this is a pool party in NAME ONLY!

  183. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    # 177 Sequitur — Wow. I’m in awe of Big Tex. I bet he could make mincemeat out of Spider-Man, and I wouldn’t bet against him even if he went up against Wolverine.

    # 178 boojum — BWAHAHA! Congratulations on your win! I think we may need Self-Pleasuring Days on a continental scale, with the caprihini as the official drink. These are stressful times.

    # 180 Angry Kem — That’s YOU? YOU are the person who caused me to stay up until 1 am last night reading BATHURST archives until my eyes looked like the eyes of a dissolute Gorey character?

    Boy, I’m slow.

  184. Poteet
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    # 180 A.K. — I found BATHURST when another Mudge recommended it, and never made the connection. Sorry.

  185. Old School Allie Cat
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    #179 – Sequitur – State or County – there’s still usually an agricultural presence, which would best be achieved in late summer.

    Look, I’m just hoping that Gunther steals Luann away from Mini-Elvis and that we never have to see that greasy little turd again – I don’t really care where he takes her, and God knows, I’m not looking to Greg Evans for authenticity.

    Really, I’m expressing anxiety over the fact that my peppers look a little puny, and I’m going to need them to produce so that I can defend my place in State Fair history.

  186. Fashion Police
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    #171 bats :[ and #174 Sequitur:
    Agnes Dunsmore is the most tastefully fashionable character currently appearing on the comics page (provided one ignores the horrid mess the colorists made of her lovely dress on Sunday). We thank you not to associate her with some lurid costume. Perhaps Professor Chinbeard could perform in tights for young Willy.

  187. WTF Larry
    June 8th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    “Boomboxes?” If you’re going to break the 4th wall, could you pick a starting point further up than 1986?

    Gay Uriah “put m’flag up” for OUTGOING MALES!
    Fugly schoolmarm is a beard.

  188. gnome de blog
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    The Texas State Fair is the only one in the country that’s just a sideshow for a football game.

    Maybe Luann misinterpreted. She thought Gunther meant a real fair with corn dogs, cotton candy and rides, but he was talking about a Renaissance Faire with, you know, costumes. Gunther likes costumes.

  189. Carly
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    Facebook = totally evil, maybe even as bad as swine flu.

  190. Dave G
    June 8th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Ok…where the heck do you read Spiderman daily on the internet? I want in on the fun, and I cna’t find it anywhere!

  191. Taeraresh
    June 8th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    #154 – Niall:

    Good point on the soup, especially considering that this is obviously a French restaurant. The soup is quite likely to be a consommé of some sort, which should be clear if made properly. Not exactly the best thing for hiding rings at the bottom of.

  192. Mike
    June 9th, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    I hate to admit it, but that Crock strip was actually amusing. Not bust a gut funny or anything, but mildly amusing. (except for the boombox reference….geez, couldn’t have said ipod or something). Thats a new one for me and crock. Usually its so painfully unfunny it depresses me.

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