The Comics Curmudgeon

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Don’t look back

Gil Thorp, 7/22/09

You know how sometimes you get wind of the fact that they’re making a sequel to a movie you loved, and you allow yourself to get all excited about it, even though you know, deep in your heart of hearts, that it will probably never live up to the magic of the original? And you go to it and pay good money, hoping that among the Terminator: Salvations and Ghostbuster IIs you’ll have stumbled upon that rare Godfather: Part 2? Well, that’s how I sort of feel about the bubbling storyline here, in which Coach Kaz, P.I., is being urged to reprise his role from the utterly awesome summer of 2007, in which he stopped rock-and-roll legend Gail Martin from being harassed by her Ben Franklin-esque drummer. What Kaz, doesn’t mention, as he and Kelly enjoy their mid-up-scale dinner at Ricoze (called “Rico’s”, back when it was only mid-scale), is that he didn’t crack the Martin case by luck — he cracked it by hiring an actual detective to do the work for him. Perhaps he never admitted this to Gil in all the grandiose tales he told about that fateful summer?

Anyway, if there’s anything that makes me hopeful about a return to ’07-level awesomeness, it’s panel one here, in which Coach Kaz is lounging casually around in his Wayfarers, enjoying summer to its fullest. But remember, back in those heady days, Gil was teaching a kid who had accidentally cut off his own legs to box, and that was only the B-story. It’s going to be a tough act to follow.

Dennis the Menace, 7/22/09

This would be a good time for Mr. Wilson to be portrayed with his archetypical single bead of sweat; instead, his brow is dry and his eyes are thoughtful, if shifty. It’s almost as if he’s broken through years of anxiety and emotional turmoil on the subject of his irritating neighbor, and has reached a place of clarity; now, he’s attempting to apply rationality to the problem, beginning by contemplating the best places to stash the body.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/22/09

While the punchline in today’s Snuffy Smith is easy enough to parse — “Ha ha, the residents of Hootin’ Holler are subsistence farmers living in a pre-industrial economy” — I’m not sure what to make of the visual in the second panel, in which we see that the Smifs’ shack is perched at the end of a rocky, isolated outcropping. Are we meant to understand that relying only on local food sources and cutting ourselves off from the larger industrial food chain is like wobbling precariously at the edge of a cliff of starvation? Or that if these simple hill folk can extract sustenance from their boulder-strewn soil, surely we can too?

Judge Parker, 7/22/09

“I’m also concerned that your life vest is inflating! That shouldn’t happen until you’re out of the plane and in the water!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:42 am and is filed under Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Dennis the Menace, Gil Thorp, Judge Parker.

230 responses to “Don’t look back”

El Santo
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Kaz, PI: “Looks like our culprit…” (puts on sunglasses) “… has his hands full of balls.”

YYYYEAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
commodorejohn
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Agnes – Ooh, F Troop!

A3G – “How do you know my name? You can’t read my mind, can you?”
“Goodness, I hope not. Not if you’re anything like what Eric told me.”

Archie – Is that another Cammie sister? Fascinating.

BB – There’s some sort of terrible innuendo to be made here regarding soft pink nubs and shafts of wood, but I’ll leave it to the pros around here.

Crankshaft – Ha ha ha oh god kill me

Crock – I think this is the first time Crock has ever made me laugh in the way it intended.

DTM – Hey, wow, that’s actually sort of vaguely menacing. But Mr. Wilson would do well to remember that those things are made of shellac and thus would serve admirably for cracking over the head of an impudent little twit.

DT – Are they doing the Trilogy cover again? Look, guys, I love that album too, but there are other ways to show three people watching the same event. Also, is it me, or does the trapeze show in panel two look like it belongs in a Brooke McEldowney strip? At least there are no diddling hands.

F- – Guest-starring Elly Patterson.

FC – …

FW – “Well…oh, embedded. Never mind.”

GA – ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH

GT – Oh. My. God. I’m pretty sure this story is being specially tailored for the audience here at the Curmudgeon. Say, Rubin, is there any chance of seeing the return of Cully Vale, while we’re at it?

H&J – …

Lio – I assume that Fred Basset tastes as bland and unremarkable as he entertains?

Luann – “Did I mention you’re a Nice Guy? You know, because girls should fall in love with Nice Guys, right? Right. Hear that, folks?”

MT – “The more I race the engine, the deeper the tires go! I almost kind of think I should stop racing the engine! But then how would I get out of this ditch!?”

MW – Okay, is there a single mirror in Charterstone that doesn’t reflect a different expression than its subject is actually displaying?

PBS – I love this strip.

Ghost-Who-Disregards-Due-Process – Hey, isn’t that the pot/poultry farm from Judge Parker?

PC – Alternatively, the sooner space colonization becomes practical, the sooner people can just move dozens or even hundreds of light-years away from the people they don’t get along with. We just might achieve a Planet Of Hats universe yet!

Shoe – Truly, cutting-edge satire.

SFx – That’s quite the watchagot stew they’ve got going there.

SM – Thank you ever so much for that first panel, Mr. Lieber. Words cannot describe my reaction.
Chyron HR
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Prediction: Godiva Danube accidentally adopts Frankie D’Vito, thereby tying together these seemingly random storylines.
DAS
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

This would be a good time for Mr. Wilson to be portrayed with his archetypical single bead of sweat

This would be a good time indeed. It seems that our Young Dennis is actually being menacing for once:

“are you an antique Mr. Wilson? why don’t I take you to antiques road show. if you’re worth enough, we’ll sell you to the highest bidder who’ll lock you in a safe … otherwise it’s to the garbage with the trash”
commodorejohn
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Also, I think that second panel may be meant to indicate that the Smiths live in the House on the Borderland. Whether they are unwitting tenants there or in fact descendants of the pig-creatures mentioned in the story, I’m not sure.
smacky
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

I miss me some legless boxing!
Frank Parsnip
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 am [Reply]

GT: Kaz’s investigative skills have hopefully been enhanced by a year of practice. Hiring a “pro” to millivanilli your background checks is a rookie mistake!
smacky
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

El Santo: VERY nice reference. And in the first comment too! Starting this post strong!
TheDiva
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

2 commodorejohn re: MW: I think the mirrors in Charterstone are the unholy instruments by which Mary traps the souls of her victims, and what we’re seeing is their tormented spirits struggling in vain to escape their hellish prison.
tb4000
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Penance: Wilson’s little aside glance to the reader isn’t exactly breaking the fourth wall, it’s him slowly descending into psychosis. He thinks he’s in a comic strip but he’s just a sick individual who is about to get a child murder rap on his record.
Poteet
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

GT — I’ve always found the strips featured on CC to be fairly incomprehensible, and now I’m having some trouble even understanding the commentary. I shall take the cosmic hint. GT is not intended for my kind of brain.

JP — Those lips! Those eyes! That all-purpose expression! She could be uttering any of the dialogue in the strip and it would fit just as well.
The Dark Cheetah
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Gil was teaching a kid who had accidentally cut off his own legs to box

Wow, as opposed to teaching someone who deliberately amputated his limbs in order to qualify for disability payments that would allow him to afford boxing lessons?

(Sorry – the awkward sentence structure there actually pushed that thought through my head on first reading.)
Trilobite
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

It bothers me that characters in Judge Parker are constantly shrouded in mysterious and dramatic shadows while they say and do utterly mundane things. Meanwhile, the characters in Gil Thorp are invariably well-lit, despite their totally incomprehensible behavior.
Phred22
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Mesuspects that DTM’s strip must be a re-cycling from the old days as Mr. Wilson would have to be around 90 if that Victrola was originally his. Who do he now remember with Henry when they get nostalgic? I daresay not Tom Mix or the original Rin Tin Tin as I recall from younger days. Maybe Rudy Vallee.
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

They found Ziggy off the coast of Alaska!
Shinji
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

SM-Was the chin hair added with MSPaint?
UncleJeff
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

#2: commodorejohn: sorry, john. The folks at Gil Thorp, Inc. have informed me that Cully Vale won’t return until the annual football rally of fire/sacrifice of the innocent. School rules, y’know.
B
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Ok, I’m not a Lawyer, so I need a clarification. Can an appellate judge really reverse a bail decision? I thought that the appeals court came into play after the verdict, not before the trial.
Hogenmogen
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Three strangely related comics and one that doesn’t.

JP: Randy goes from normal in panel 1 to putting on his black warpaint in panel 3.

Luann: They’re in sunlight in panel 1, and wreathed in dark lust by panel 3.

MT: The giant squirrel turns black with rage when he realizes there is a mob agent skulking in his forest. (by the way, BC, it’s “Flava” not “Flavor Flav”)

And Marmaduke: No one turns anything. Marm is begging. His squiggly owner tells him to stop. See, it’s funny, because he’s a BIG DOG.
Hogenmogen
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Archie: What is going on behind Reggie in panel 3? Is that an alien spacecraft landing back there? Other than that, this strip ain’t got no game.

And speaking of “no game”, Elmo from Blondie ain’t got none, either, yo.
Bootsy
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Oh, Gil Thorp! How I love your giant manly knuckles, and your large slablike faces and guyish locks of hair falling over intense mysterious sunglassed eyes while you speak in deep tones of incomprehensible things!

Oh my. I need to sit down.
Niall
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Y118. Mollificent: I’ll let you know next time I’m in Seattle? I’ll make sure to bring my time-delay camera. :)

Y131. Rotten Arsenal: there is, of course, no excuse for that BC strip to have made it to print – everyone along the chain is guilty, but obviously the worst offenders are the creators themselves for making it in the first place. I think the people under “Mason” are trying a little too hard to re-inject life in the strip; at times they did succceed, as we have found a few strips genuinely funny, but too often it’s just head-scratching – and the risk was that they’d try too “edgy” or too “far” too fast. Reaching for the sky, the failure drops too deep. The strip should just be retired now.

Especially considering today’s strip. Flava Flav?? Honestly?? That’s the very definition of “trying too hard”.

Y142. Anonymous: please let us know if you did manage to work the phrase in!

Y149. Anonymous: They at least took steps to recognise they erred; this is more than most legacy strip creators. They were fools to have made the strip in the first place, and are trying to mitigate damage. True dicks would not even have admitted wrongdoing, so let’s give them at least that.
Tonyfo98
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Quick, call Coach Kaz, PI, I have solved the case! It was Mr. Wilson who stole the Han Solo Vest from A3G. Now it is going to be all sweaty and strechy. Ick. You know what… keep it you miserable old b@st@rd…
AirForbes
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

SM: Today’s first panel shot of Wolverine’s blue-chinned, open-mouthed snoring has cured me of my Hugh Jackman yen. That took some doing.

GT: All right, a new case in the Kaz Mystery Files – the Case of the Baffling Baseballs!
Old School Allie Cat
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

RwO – Ok, maybe it was a little silly, but I love the way Hillary Price draws birds. But it also didn’t want me to gouge my eyes out in despair. Are you listening, Tom Batuik?
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

Too many words in GT panel 2. With shades like that, a man doesn’t have to say anything more than “Yo, bitch.”
Edgy DC
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

Um, Joshy, that bulbous portion of her sweater is not an over-inflated lapel, but her comely arm reaching back toward her fetching neck.
AirForbes
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

“Yes, Margo, you look exactly as Eric had described you – black hair in a bun, big yellow earrings, flesh colored eyes and lips, han solo vest, aura of malevolence. The Dalai Lama hopes that through his blessing, he can expunge this evil from the earth.”
Marion Delgado
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

In moving from Dirk to Brad, Tony Daytona continues her well-known winning streak.

You go, girl! You know how to pick em!

Funky Winkerbean haters: admit it, you’d like a dose of cancer in Luann right about now. Even taking Delta’s Hodgkins out of remission would do, in a pinch.
Marion Delgado
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

“But Tony, who’s Anthony? Last night you called me “Anthony” and said the point was for the guy to get it over with as quickly as possible. Then you said all those horrible things about how you were dirty and this was how you needed to be punished.”
Marion Delgado
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Erratum: “Toni” of course, unless Greg is more edgy than we think.
jvwalt
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

If you’ve ever wondered what “the opposite of cameltoe” looks like, just take a gander at Mr. Wilson’s package in today’s DtM. That’s a picture that could provoke nightmares.
Jackuul
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Why am I enjoying this most despicable of comics as he’s wheeled around with medical tubing coming out of his face to his O2 tank? Is it because I secretly hope he dies? Or rather, is it because I secretly hope he keeps on living for the next thirty years in the strip in this catatonic state, deteriorated to the point of silence as everyone takes advantage of him?
Hogenmogen
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

What if Luann did a time jump like Funky? Toni, looking at an old photo of herself, when she was hot shit, sighs deeply. She looks at the mirror and sees a wrinkled, haggard woman with an expanded waistline from popping out three or four Bradlets. “Which is it? Three or four?” she thinks. “Goddamn it, who’s even counting those wretched pains in the ass anymore. God, I need another drink. Brad. He did this to me! And where is he? Playing video games with that permagrinned shit, TJ. I could have been a friggin’ runway model, for Chrissake! What the fuck am I doing here???”

Reverse time jump.

“Brad, I love you, but I seriously gotta go.”
Jackuul
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

@ Hogenmogen – thank you for that link.

All I have to say is WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS HE DOING!? ISN’T THERE A LAW AGAINST THIS? GAAAAHHHHHH When did Marmaduke become some low-budget human-animal rape/love porno!? HIS EYES! LOOK AT HIS DEMON EYES! THEY ARE COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD!
Shem
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

#25 Old School Allie Cat: Weird thing is, Rabbits Against Magic did the exact same gag yesterday. Great minds?
Calico
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

#35 – I’m not so sure if Marm is, uh. begging from that woman.
BTW – I hope you are feeling better Re: your loss. I’m getting there to a better place, having recently lost our dog too, slowly but surely.

Y – Josh – I would love to see Margo in Judge Judy’s place, ripping apart souls and injecting guilt and hellfire into the plaintiffs and defendants of civil crimes like the Fisher Cat she really is.
Hogenmogen
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Yesterday’s BC: But would it be funny if the dog were really BIG?
Jackuul
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

@Calico: It’s hard to lose something you love, during the day it is easier, but at night when you see the empty bed, the chewed bone, or even just some dog hair that escaped the maws of a vacuum cleaner it hits you again and again like cinder-blocks to the gut. It’s like when you have a picture on a TV screen and the power goes out – you see the outline, but the middle is gone. You keep expecting to be greeted again by the wet nose and flapping tail, and instead find silence.
Pozzo
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

“Looking for the best private eye in Milford” is sort of like looking for the Stooge with the most hair — how many alternatives can there be?
Joe Blevins
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

BG&SS: I have three thoughts here.

1. I’m kind of surprised that Hootin’ Holler’s newspaper has a column devoted to fads and trends, apparently written by the area’s only style-conscious (read: gay) resident. How desperately lonely he must be, trying to play Morrissey songs on the banjo and whittling tiny, wooden effigies of Rita Moreno.

2. It’s good that comics of this nature don’t have continuity-obsessed fans. Otherwise, that second panel would be a damned big commitment.

3. The unspoken message of this comic is: If you still rely on print journalism for news and information…. you might be a redneck! By the time it took to write, edit, print, distribute, and read this newspaper, “eating local” has already gone in and out of style twelve times and is now only done ironically by hipsters.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft — If that really is Ed hooked up to oxygen like that, then why hasn’t he caught himself on fire?
Bitter Scribe
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

I think the reason the Smiths’ shack is on the edge of that cliff is to show how impossible it would be to trundle processed food, like those newfangled “metal cans” we’ve heard so much about, to the Smiths’ door.

But Joe Blevins is right about the lack of continuity. This is almost as bad as the old “Nancy,” where Nancy’s backyard would sprout, say, oil derricks if a gag demanded them.
Baka Gaijin
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#Y134 gabacho: Delilah’s using this to keep the girls covered. It’s the same thing Mary uses ~~to keep the elder Dr. Cory’s dick stuck~~ never mind!

#Y146 anonymous: Even though I thought that went without saying, I said it anyways. I mean, really. A Plugger hand-churning ice cream is about as true to character as Cathy being happy about her bathing suit or Dennis being menacing.

Dingo: You may have some residuals coming from these people.
BigTed
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

The real lesson of today’s “Snuffy” is what an expert moonshiner he is…. If the corn-likker still he runs in the backyard ever exploded, that house would be in the valley by now.
Calico
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

#39 – As Sting wrote, “The bed’s too big without You.”
Oui, je comprends totalement.

Re: Snuffy, I think if Loweezy ever saw the inside of a “regular” grocery store, she’d have s stroke.

She would really enjoy the VT Country Store, though, except for those pesky electric box thingys and post-Olivetti keyboards referred to as “Computers.”
seismic-2
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Crank: Today we learn that the Death Angel Nursing Home from RMMD is in fact only one small part of a global ranchise. In the branch where Crank (or non-Crank, as the case may be) is confined, the eager attendants wheel their infirmed charges out to the municipal ballpark and position them just outside the chain-link fence, so that the first pop fly that goes foul will deliver the Fungo McDeath coup-de-grace to their miserable existence. And Shep Trumbo isn’t even around to put the whole thing on Youtube, or on America’s Funniest Demise Videos.

BB: Sorry, General, but your real problem isn’t the manliness of your eraser. As Mrs. Halftrack was telling you last night, it’s the manliness of your pencil.
zooby
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Now, he’s attempting to apply rationality to the problem, beginning by contemplating the best places to stash the body.

My, my! And Mr. Wilson is already in the attic! Look out Dennis! Your menacing days are over! Unless you menace the spiders and rats in the crawl space over there!
sugarpie
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail The sniper’s car in today’s strip appears to be drawn by someone with no interest in automobiles at all. Is Jack Elrod Amish?
Jono
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

BG&SS

The way the second panel is drawn, I didn’t think the house was on a cliff. I thought the two mentioned characters were riding some kind of flying contraption, tearing through the space-time continuum like some kind of universe destroying steam locomotive. It gave the comic flavoring I wasn’t expecting…
“Why, I didn’t know there was an alternative to eating local! Come quickly Barney, we need to explore and destroy the 2nd dimention!”

Your interpretation makes more sense, but I’m disappointed :(
Muffaroo
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

AD – The stone-age rock thinks the guy with clock hands on his suit who jumps out of a tree phone is a late-20th century celebrity! Be still, my gorge.

Cshaft – A half dozen guys with bats? This must be one of those retirement homes I read about in “V for Vendetta.”

DtMenace – Is Mr. Wilson an antique? Yes, by my calculation, he’s been one for about nine years. Dennis will be one in 38 to 42 years. If Mr. Wilson was, say, 65, he’d have a stack of 45s and one of those little portable players with a fat spindle to drop the platters.

FCircus – Biting topical humor. What a wag!

GThorp – Wow! A license-plate shout-out to us! …who they have somehow confused with the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 crew, but it’s the thought that counts.

MTrail – “All units, be on the lookout for a shooter dressed in hunting gear, driving a 25-year-old Lincoln. At last report, he was fleeing in the direction of China, straight down.”

[Dialog balloon coming from the car: "Yow! I was shooting a squealer and now I'm in a car."]

formerly Ben @y151 – I was Jonathan Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace back in 1980. An interesting show for me, in that I was a bit sick and the leading lady was deceptively wiry, and when she acted scared, she really threw herself into it and could have thrown me around the stage.
AirForbes
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

49 Sugarpie – By the time Jack Elrod is done lavishing attention on the detailed giant squirrels in panels one and three, he has no interest (or time) left for mundane subjects like cars and humans.
Rob
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

Blondie- so he has to explain what “peeps” are even though the word has been around in slang since the early 2000s yet doesn’t explain tweeting. But thank god they made sure to add the “birds make the same sound as this new fad” joke, cuz really I can’t get enough of that. They are forcing me to root for newspapers failure.

DT- lets draw scantily clad women and ask if Dick is excited, can the FCC please expand their jurisdiction to the comics.

FC- Aww the dog days of summer, reminds me when I would stand uncomfortably close behind my brother and whisper nonsense in his ear.

FOOB- Yes just represivly stiffle all questions about sexuality, that won’t have any negative consequences and it certainly won’t turn anyone gay.

Garfield- Yes an improvement on Garfield minus Garfield, Garfield minus Clothes

SM- aww I feel bad for Wolverine, I grow splotchy facial hair too, of course I don’t try to color in the missing areas with blue sharpie.

Zits- My god they are actually going to do all 101 of these zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dingo
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin #44: Wow. It even gives me a bar pickup line: “Hey, buddy, check out these legs. Wanna see the meat in the middle?”
Crankenstank
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Snuffy lives right next to the Walmart, which is local enough for him. They’ll even cash his gummint check for him!
Pozzo
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

#41 – Shouldn’t that be “whittlin’?”
Perky Bird
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

When Masky McDeath finally shows up for Crankshaft, will we find that the Angel of Death has traded his Phantom of the Opera mask for a Mudhens ballcap, or the giant foam head of the Cleveland Indians’ Chief Wahoo?
bats :[
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Luann: it’s nice that SOMETHING has been resolved, or spoken, between Toni and Brad, but geesh…their future kids with duck lips AND pig noses (and hedgehog spines for hair, unless Brad is moussing)? Sad.

PBS: oh, the goodness continues! (at least for four more strips, if someone has her way…)
Jesse C
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Thought the CC community would appreciate this:

I was at the Poulsbo public library last night for a presentation called “The Art of the Comic Strip”. After going through the regulars like Krazy Kat, Nemo, Katzenjammer Kids, he talked about some newer comics like Calvin and Hobbes, Non Sequitor, Foob, 9CWL, etc.

He also explained the premise and story line of Funky Winkerbean, which is much more depressing than I realized.
Harold
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

Who knew that Hootin’ Holler was located at Vasquez Rocks? “Eatin’ Local” apparently involved devouring a Gorn and a Federation starship captain who happened by one day.
Chyron HR
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

#58 bats :[ – Don’t forget their kid with duck lips and sunglasses that it never takes off.

Y’know, the oldest one.
Old School Allie Cat
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

#59 – Jesse C – Sounds like a fun night – who was the speaker?
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft is greeted in the afterlife by Harry Carey…

CS: Just where am I?
HC: HEY, ‘SHAFT. HOW YA DOING? OH, YEAH, YOU’RE DEAD. YOU’RE IN THE AFTERLIFE.
CS: The what?
HC: THE AFTERLIFE. YOU KNOW, THE LIFE AFTER YOU DIE.
CS: You mean like heaven?
HC: WELL, MAYBE. IT’S MORE LIKE THE LACK OF HELL.
CS: What? No fire?
HC: NO FIRE.
CS: Just a sec, I’ve got to have fire! I’d die without fire…eh, hey, aren’t you Harry Carey?
HC: GUILTY AS CHARGED. “TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME…”
CS: Okay, okay, I get it. Eh, do I at least get a bus?
HC: NO BUS. BUT YOU GET TO PLAY BASEBALL. YOU GET TO START THE NEXT GAME AND THE LEADOFF HITTER IS HANK GREENBERG. BOY, HE’S HAD A LOT TO TIME TO THINK ABOUT THE LAST TIME HE FACED YOU.
CS: Oh, hell.
HC: NO. OH, AFTERLIFE!
CS: Okay, okay.
HC: THERE’S ONE THING. WHEN YOU PITCH, YOU’VE GOT TO THROW THE BALL THROUGH A MAZE OF MAILBOXES THAT YOU HIT WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE.
CS: What? That must be about..
HC: YEAH. I HOPE YOUR CURVE BALL IS WORKING.

(This could go on and on and on… but I’ll end it here. YEA!)
Steve S
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

I think the remote cabin suggests that the Snuffy Smith version of eating local is cannibalism. On the other hand, maybe it’s just swallowing your e’s and g’s.
Bootsy
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Calico @ 37 and Jackuul @ 39: Robinson Jeffers wrote a beautiful poem (it’s in the Selected Poems) called The Housedog’s Grave. I know the title sounds depressing but it isn’t. I’m not good with the linky things but it’s easy to find and it ends:

You were never masters but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you and was well loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

We’ve lost our share of good dogs, and this poem never fails to comfort me. I hope it does you too.
Darkefang
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

A3G: Eric might have mentioned me before. I’m the Tibetan/Chinese guy who inexplicably looks like he’s from Nebraska.

Blondie: It’s hard to know where to begin on this one.

A. Elmo is supposed to be five, per last Saturday’s strip. Even five-year-olds aren’t texting, tweeting, or using any other newfangled electronic methods of communicating.

B. You don’t tweet individual people. You tweet your Twitter account, and if people happen to be following it, they get the message.

C. Texting is not slower than tweeting, since they’re the same damned thing.

D. Nobody except middle-aged white men have used the term “peeps” since about 1994, unless they happened to be referring to little pink marshmallows shaped like chickens.

DT: Well, we managed to avoid a close-up of that clown, but Jim Brozman has apparently taken a surreal approach toward perspective in portraying this trapeze act.

FC: Bo Obama might have to worry about the remote possibility that someone might attempt to assassinate the President’s dog, but at least he knows that the White House lawn isn’t littered with the family’s dead previous pets.
boojum
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Joe Blevins @41:

How desperately lonely he must be, trying to play Morrissey songs on the banjo and whittling tiny, wooden effigies of Rita Moreno.

That, my friend, is funny! Seriously, I bow to your untrammeled genius.
tblue
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

JP: Panel 2

OMG! The collagen-injections/fishlips craze has gotten into the comic strips! Now we know where all those big boobs in this strip came from: they’re implants. I never knew that drawings had to rely on cosmetic surgeryand other procedures to get the look they want. What next? Will they have to start using Botox instead of erasers?
buckyswife
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Calico, Jackuul, and Bootsy: You all are prompting me to go hug my dog extra hard—and that’s not a complaint; thank you. Calico & Jackuul, I feel for the losses you’ve both had recently, and I honestly appreciate the reminder to value those friends during the time we have with them.
buckyswife
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

#49 sugarpie: I don’t know—it was Elrod, after all, who took the time to design cars that one could stand up in while driving, and where would we be without those?
corinthian
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Maybe BG&SS is transitioning into a Mark Trail-style with random cuts to talking animals and plants. All I know is Snuffy getting his mustache punched off will make my day.
tblue
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

BTW, Josh–The current Pearls before Swine story line makes it pretty obvious that Pastis reads The Comics Curmudgeon. Maybe you should give the stroy line a shout-out here.
Donald The Anarchist
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

GT Any chance this gumshoe storyline will result in a sultry female added to the mix? How about a weirdly androgynous teenage girl? Or maybe the guy who clubbed himself? If he starts watching TV all day and referring to himself as a crimefighter, I’m gonna be PISSED!

DTM At least he isn’t calling you a fossil…

SS I just think this was an awkward attempt for Snuffy to bring up the subject of “Eatin’ out.” “Well Maw, now that you mention other options…”

JP For a judge he sure has some badass tatts. Either that or shadows work very differently in his world than they do in mine.
Stij
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

@32: Moose knuckle? Ewwww.
McManx
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Snuffy — I took this as a thinly veiled reference to Appalachian cannabalism, which accounts for why in the whole 75 years of this strip we have seen only 10 regular characters. Any new characters are eaten before they get established. Want proof? Have you seen the strip’s namesake Barney Google lately? Ah ha, I rest my case.

Spiderman — Ha, ha. Wolverine is about to carve up a mugger who looks like Mr. Clean.
Talking Squirrel
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

666CL: Today’s situation seemed to call for some cross-dressing, cross-strip cron(e)yism.
Dingo
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

bats :[, have you ever seen Halle Beary’s parents? There’s a lot of cow ass ugly genes in her stock but somehow it all came together to create her. Brad and Toni could end up with the cutest set of tykes known to man. Or Sophie.
Muffaroo
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Bootsy @65 – Thanks for the lead to the Jeffers poem. Here’s one place that quotes it. Apparently, I’m a sentimental slob, based on the evidence.
Spiderman Defense League
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Luann: So panel three tells us that Greg Evans is handing the strip over to Tom Batiuk. Can’t wait.
buckyswife
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

78 Muffaroo–Well, then I don’t know what that makes me, since I’m sitting here with tears running down my face after reading that…. (But thanks for linking, really.)
bats :[
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

77. Dingo: well, there is a lot to be said for heterosis (aka, “hybrid vigor,” or why we spend a lot of time crossbreeding animals to create a better offspring, be it appearance or meat or milk or egg production). And then there’s also ugly-to-the-bone dominant genes that nothing short of TNT will get out of the gene pool.
Nonetheless, I am off to cruise the Intertubes for photos of Halle’s folks…
Rooty Toot Toot
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Brilliant, rare form today, sir. I chuckled so loud, it alerted the entire cube farm. Prairie-dogging everywhere.
Steve the Pocket
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

@#77: Was the MyCage reference intentional, or just a typo?
Mr. Nice Guy
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: “I’m more concerned someone will kill him! Auugghh!! The eclipse! The change — it’s — it’s happening again!”
Bryan
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith: I just wonder how they handle the septic.

34, Hogmogen: “Toni, looking at an old photo of herself, when she was hot shit, sighs deeply.”

I’m not so sure. You gotta think that Toni will wear the sexual pants in this relationship. If she and Brad decide to have kids, it will be on her say so and she will have the number she wants and then she’ll make Brad get a vasectomy. And Brad will go along without complaint because he knows he’s batting way out of his league.
Buchholz Surfer
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

SFx– Wait, carrots can help you see in the dark? I thought that was an urban legend.

Sally Fifth– a little typo there in the last panel: “has anyone notice”
Bootsy
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo and buckyswife, that is one of my avorite poems from one of my favorite poets. (Though I know it by heart, I thought it more appropriate to offer a link which I can’t do so thanks for linking the entire poem, Muff.) There is a line in another one of his that talks about finding peace in the honeyed words of old poems, which is why I love poetry so much.

OK, enough of this, me! Back to comics and snarking!
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

86 Buchholz Surfer
My paper has “Uh, anyone notice…”
cheech wizard
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Like the old joke, Crankshaft is going to be visited by a dead friend who tells him about the great heavenly all-star team they have – with Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig and all the other greats in the lineup.

“The bad news is, you’re pitching Sunday,” he tells Ed.

“So that’s what heaven’s gonna be like?” Ed asks.

“Fuck no!” his buddy snorts. “Didn’t you hear me? You’re gonna be facing Ruth, DiMaggio, Gehrig and all the others. Eternally! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!! Welcome to Hell, dickface!”
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

cheech wizard
Hell for Crankshaft? Ruth, DiMaggio and Gehrig have to look at Crankshaft for eternity.
Calico
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

#65, 69: Thanks so very much. Kind words and the poem excerpt is lovely. : )

#86 – I was thinking that this scenario looked a little too much like a “Hell’s Kitchen USA” episode.
Jesse C
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

62 Old School,

It was an English professor from Washington State U.

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/

He was pretty knowledgeable, but shockingly had not heard of Cul de Sac haha.
Vince M
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail – I’m looking at the scheming big squirrels and I’m thinking -
“Shall we?”
“Oh yes, lets! After you!”
“Oh no, I insist – after *you*!”
Violet
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

You know what, Dennis the Menace, when you’re relying almost exclusively on quips that were already played out when Beaver Cleaver made them, you might want to be a little careful throwing around accusations of antiquity.
Rainbird
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

#53 Rob:

What is really interesting about Blondie, is not so much that he is making the tweeting joke is that the whole thing is false. My daughter, a bit older than Elbow, or whatever his name is, says it all isn’t true. No kid she knows actually uses Twitter to communicate to their “peeps”. She says that is for old people. She uses Facebook and IM and texting.

I said, shouldn’t you give credit to the blondie author for writing about something in this century? She said “no, not if it is wrong.”
Rainbird
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

#60 Harold
Actually Vasquez Rocks, long the place to film other worlds in Star Trek, is right next to whatever new developments have been built out there. It is about as far out in the country as a walk down to the 7-11. Bleck to overdevelopment.
Lupin the 3rd
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Can’t the artist in Gil Thorpe LOOK at someone holding a cell phone before trying to draw it?
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

19 Hogenmogen said:

Luann: They’re in sunlight in panel 1, and wreathed in dark lust by panel 3.

79 Spiderman Defense League said:

Luann: So panel three tells us that Greg Evans is handing the strip over to Tom Batiuk. Can’t wait.

Call the Center for Disease Control. The contagion is spreading. I blame Mary Worth.
gnome de blog
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

98 was me.
AuntJed
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

DtM: I’m trying to figure out what’s going on with those lines on Mr. Wilson’s nose. I’ve decided that he’s combing the hair above his left ear all the way around the back of his head and onto his face, ending on his nose.
Fashion Police
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

Edda’s bathing suit appears to have a built-in waist cincher and her posture suggests she’s wearing high heels out in the muck. There is less insanity than puerile silliness on display here.
Hogan's Villains
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Shock! Blondie making a joke about Twitter without any idea of what Twitter is or how it works. Shocking lapse from the hippest strip around.

And then the Keane kids discussing “lucky” Bo Obama sent me scrambling to Wikipedia to find out who the hell Bo Obama was. Bo Obama like Socks Clinton, Checkers Nixon and Gertrude Pierce (Franklin Pierce’s pet orangutan)? Who the hell attaches the president’s family name to his pets?
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Looks to me like what Mr. Wilson has in his hand is the much thicker Edison Diamond Disc from the late teen’s early 1920’s. The machine behind him kind of resembles my 1915 Diamond Disc player which makes the disc in Wilson’s hand perfect as a weapon. He can crack Dennis’ skull and then still enjoy listening to the record as he stuffs the former Menace’s body into a steamer trunk.
Violet
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

I feel like Maw is being a bit disingenuous here. While it’s true that the cannibal feasts she and Paw regularly consume principally comprise Hootin’ Holler natives, she has been known to throw in the occasional traveling salesman or delicious-looking hobo.
AeroSquid
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

‘Shaft – Crankshaft now depresses me. Will the the last strip involve ‘Shafts head falling off of his neck onto the field, rolling towards home plate as the Toledo Heights Turtles (or whatever AA team is playing against the East Toledo Trilobites in exhibition) attempt an RBI, only to be thwarted by a blinking, yellowed skull wordlessly mouthing invectives at the runner.

Dear Lord ! It’s 2019 ! ‘Shaft should be hooked up to fully immersed VR Porn simulation until his kidneys and spleen give out ! Please give him an honorable death !
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

#72 – I think the current PBS storyline makes it pretty obvious that Pastis just can’t say no to the juicy taste of low-hanging fruit.
Beatrice
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

#85 Bryan: “Maw! I’m goin’ out back to the outhouse!”

“Son, we ain’t got no…oh, that’s why the folks down in the valley ain’t speakin’ to us!”
Poteet
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

# 65 Bootsy — I did find that poem and it had me weeping over my keyboard, and I’m not even a dog owner. I will definitely share it. Thank you.

If he wrote a cat version, I’m going to drink a lot of water before reading it or I’ll dehydrate completely.
klaus tommy baggs
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

Luann: Given the pace of the strip, and the projected depths to which newspapers will sink to remain relevant, it’s quite possible that in my late 80s I could be treated to a holographic display of Toni and Brad’s first (abbreviated) night together, complete with full frontal nudity and TJ peeking through the closet he refuses to exit. Only forty more years!!!

Crankshaft: Ed looks not long for this world. This is the first joyful event I can recall occurring in this strip, ever. I can barely type through my tears.

Judge Parker: Cleavage and decolletage have apparently gone on strike this week. Move along, absolutely nothing to see here.
Jamus The Bartender
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: You don’t know how lucky, Billy. The Secret Service has orders to put a bullet into the First Dog in order that terrorists can’t use him as leverage against the leader of the free world. Don’t you feel better now, Billy? Gosh, it’s a beautiful day…
Crankshaft: DC Comic’s Blackest Night ( a series featuring lots and lots of superheroes come back from the dead, in case ya didn’t know) looks a lot like Cirque Du Soleil compared to this.
Mary Worth: Uh oh. Abusive spouse alert. Let’s see, loosened tie and shirt collar…check. Angry face…check. Shouting over the phone…check. Hands waving around…check. Looks like the guy in the stripey shirt’s gonna get some play after all…
Funky Winkerbean: Wow, this is actually kinda cool. The first looie is giving away troop movements, and Funky’s ex is lookin’ for some ” behind the lines” action as well. Okay, you know what would make this cool? If someone like…say, WOLVERINE would come in and slice the tent open, say something about how he’s the best there is at what he does and how he tries to keep his berzerker rages inside….say, where is he anyway…
Spider Man: Oh. Right. Sleeping it off on a park bench.
Never mind.
Jamus The Bartender
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Crock: Sweet :) Wolverine would be cool here too. But he’s not gonna show up to save the day, is he?
Quack! Ahhh...
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

#106 Wolfdog — Yeah, but it’s sweet, sweet fruit….
Poteet
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

# 78 Muffaroo & # 80 buckyswife — Thanks. Per # 108, now I feel better, even though my face looks like a tomato.
Poteet
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

# 106 Wolfdog — I just want you to know that since you posted that photo of your namesake, I have a new image of you as sort of a James Bond type with an eye patch. That’s one good-looking dog.
Jamus The Bartender
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: So….when does the family trapeze act get killed and their son has to avenge them with police training by Dick?
Jamus The Bartender
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith/Eating Local in general: As luck would have it, I live next to a small french restaurant that uses only local ingredients and makes a pain au chocolat to DIE for. So, eating local hasn’t gone out of style yet.
Poteet
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

DT — Given the Iowa connections favored by Locher, I’m just grateful this new scene of future carnage and mayhem isn’t the Iowa State Fair. My sympathies to the circus-lovers on CC.
Steve T.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo: You understate the case. As a retired museum curator I would date that Victrola at about 1928. It’s disturbing that so many of these legacy strips seem to have locked “today” into about 1950. If today really IS 1950, that DtM makes sense, even if it isn’t funny. If today is 2009, then Mr. Wilson is at least 120 years old, and vampire status is a possibility.
BigDave
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

Jesse C – #59, 92 – Poulsbo? Washington State Prof? Are you, by chance, in Kitsap as well?
Still a Fan
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Josh, random comment – I found your blog a couple years and ago and thought it was hilarious and have been a faithful reader since then. But when I go back and read through your archives, it dawns on me that the new posts aren’t as funny as they used to be.

I give you credit for creating a successful site, and it’s certainly influential within the comic strip world – I would just challenge you to go back through your old posts and see if you can’t recapture the magic that made this blog what it is today.

Of course, all your loyal fans will come down on me and assure you that they love you and you’re as good as ever, and that’s fine. I’m just expressing my opinion here. But even today when I read through the archives, I’ll come across a post and laugh out loud with no one in the room – I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that with one of your new posts.

Anyway, I do think this is a great site nonetheless. Good luck keeping it going.
zerowolf
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

Hootin’ Holler a place so remote not even Walmart has found it yet.
Marion Delgado
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

“That’s right Margo – I’M the new Dalai Lama! … I wanted one more night.”

“Eric, I …”

“Better make it good, Mags – it’s got to last me through a lifetime of celibacy!”

“But Eric .. YOU SMELL LIKE YAK BUTTER!”
Uncle Lumpy
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

#116 Jamus –

Using good ol’ American chocolate? Shenanigans!
Doug Puthoff
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Alt FC Caption for 7-22: Bad news, guys, Michael Vick is a free man.
Uncle Lumpy
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

#120 Still –

Well, it would help if the comics found new ways to suck.
Jumper
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

The daily colorist doesn’t know to put the red splotchy marks on Mr. Wilson’s cheeks and nose to show he’s snockered enough to try to get Dennis to appreciate his old Spike Jones 78s. The artist does catch him in that exact moment of drunken clarity when he realizes neither Dennis nor anyone else is ever going to give a damn.
Jamus The Bartender
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

123. Well, mostly local I suppose. Still, it’s a good place.
NoahSnark
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

What exactly will Gil do when he finds out who is give him baseballs – ask him for other equipment appropriate for the sports season? Whoever it is may be creepy, but when you consider what he is donating to the Milford teams you can view him as a great athletic supporter.
Deena in OR
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

@ fantasy Daddy!Jamus-How’s Cassandra feeling? ;-)
Deena in OR
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

…and I’ve just branded myself as a nerd forever.
Josh
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

#120 Still A Fan — I’m certainly open to criticism, and admit that occasionally I feel I’m getting a little stale myself. If you’re interested in helping me improve, would you mind telling me what that magic was that’s missing? (Of course, that’s the problem with magic — it’s hard to quantify.)

Josh
True Fable
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Fist o Justice Theater No evidence left? – hellO, you left a fucking WITNESS who for all you know, is getting information whispered to him from a dying man or something. Yeah, go get lost, you putz. Like I care!
Meddle House OOoh, plenty of pointing and waving and stern looks today! Like I care!
Rex Morgan, Absent Doctor Like I care!
Here Come De Judge Parker April has the tiniest waist; how’s she going to learn to work the claw? Like I care.
Margo 3-G The dark forces are gathering to strike as soon as Margo discovers she’s STILL going to be without a husband to wave around under Tommie’s dreadfully dull nose. Okay, I care about that one a little.
The Amazing Wolverine I’d call them a challenge down at Miss Pixie’s Nail Salon and Bait Shop.
Jason1981
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 am [Reply]

7/23:

Blondie: I think she should wear that blue dress all the time. At least Elmo would appreciate it, even if Dagwood doesnt.

Spider-Man: That’s not a blade. *SNIKKT!* These here are blades.
Baka Gaijin
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Zits: Me thinks someone better lay off the Starbucks and meth.

Mark Trail: Tomorrow this guy tries to hitch a ride to the city with Mark. Mark, being even more clueless than Inept Sniperman, doesn’t notice the long gun and aura of freshly-fired gunpowder, and deposits him in front of “Mafia Headquarters.”

Pluggers: Again I call shenanigans. Pluggers don’t have cross words for each other. They have frying pans, rolling pins, and fists.

Rose is Rose: Service station guy, please call the guys in the white coat now. Do it now before Jimbo goes all berzerk on you for not encouraging his psychosis.

Doonesbury: So that explains it. That’s how Toggle and Alex could make sweet sweet love last night. Let’s see if trailer trash mom is going to get all Pluggers on her ass.
sugarpie
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:37 am [Reply]

Crankshaft OK, so it is Crankshaft his own self.

What can possibly be the point of this? It’s hateful and not all that interesting: like a horrific auto accident.

Gil Thorp I’m loving Coach Kaz’ swinging batchelor pad. Bonus points for having a more Asiatic backdrop than the current A3G.
True Fable
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

Kit Walker, Prisoner Abuse Ranger How did he open the door with his hands tied behind his back, or are the doors to an Official Assassin’s Lair equipped with swinging saloon doors? And maybe that WHAM! on the ceiling is someone’s graffiti declaring his love for an ’80’s pop band?
Rednecvks Hey Brookins and Ann Lawrence, if a Plugger can spell and know what “dodecaphony” means, then fuck you. I’d rather be a plugger than a dumbshit.
Birdshit Ha ha, ten year old references sure are funny! Ten years ago.
Sheila Sternwell
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:18 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: I’m still going with the alternate timeline theory, although you’d think that if we were seeing Crank’s life if he’d been in the majors, we’d have seen some of the majors in a flashback.

Crankshaft fails on many levels, the most basic being that Crankshaft is played as a rude curmudgeon, yet he never gets any kind of comeuppance. Everyone around him has to sit and suffer through his intolerance and anger, which is only occasionally broken up by the death of an insignificant character. Crankshaft on occasion becomes so offensive that it garners widespread derision, especially when Shaft told his gf Lois she didn’t have to carry pepper spray for protection because she’s old.

There is nothing entertaining about this — and note that entertaining doesn’t necessarily mean funny. Strips don’t have to be funny to entertain. Batiuk, however, seems to have the impression that the world is binary, it’s either “funny” or “death”. He chooses death. Fine, sure, but what does anyone get out of it?

I, generally, have no sympathy for Batiuk. He has spent decades using issues such as date rape, cancer, and the plight of POW’s as attention grabs. Some of the serious soap strips do the same thing, yet they manage to be low key about it, they don’t use ridiculous puns, they never resort to “No one would attack an old woman because she’s old amirite! LOL!” as a joke.

If this series in Crankshaft turns into some kind of “working through” the death of his father, there would be no way I could see it as anything but scavenging something meaningful and real in life and turning it into unimportant trivia for the comic pages. Again.
Raymo
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 am [Reply]

#120 – Still A Fan: Long time reader & very rare poster here, but you know what? I, having no life, read this blog almost every day from start to finish. There is not a day that I don’t laugh, or marvel at the intelligence and harmoniousness of the commenters – or cry as hard as I laugh sometimes (loss of beloved persons or pets). I’ve been reading since 2005, and CC is every bit as funny now as it ever was, IMHO. I mean, how can it not be, with the current Mary Worth and Mark Trail story-lines? Maybe you need a fresh look.
Thanks to all CC’s, you make my day, everyday!
Mibbitmaker
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:30 am [Reply]

Must See TV, Shouldn’t Bother Comics Thursday:

9CL: That is either the greatest thing to do, or the worst possible thing to do. I say it’s both.

A3G: Just as nobody in Luann can ever have sex, nobody in A3G can have marriage.

ReFOOB: “Aw, no fair! The kids in Cleats get to run through the sprinklers!!”

Luann: …But no dream intercourse, I’m guessing.

MT: “There are alot of prints on this car — Whoops, I just made some more. Oh, darn.”

MW: Uh-oh, Ricky Ricardo sure looks pissed!

RMMD: “Wilson, Nolan, and Batiuk 7/23″

Zits: Drummer? Looks like an entire percussion section! And y’know what it needs? More cowbell!
Mibbitmaker
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:39 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Why?
True Fable
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:51 am [Reply]

Here, Still A Fan. Relax with a friend.
Shave Ezra
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 am [Reply]

I’ve been reading since about 2006, and I think the most amazing thing about Josh’s posts are that he manages to catch things in the comics that the myriads of posters don’t mention.

My understanding is that he wants to have original comments – so perhaps we’re the ones making it so difficult for him.

If we would only comment on the days comics after he would, we’d leave more room for the funny from him. Then we can have our say the following day.

Just a thought.
Frank Parsnip
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 am [Reply]

A3G: All those who still have a fiance who is alive and well, please step foward. … Not so fast, Magee!

Funky Pantysniffer: So as the military rolls out for its super-secret exchange of prisoners, are they really going to like having a camera along? Oh, Batiuk, you really loathe your characters.

MW: In today’s installment, the role of Lawrence will be played by the scary monkey from “Family Guy”.

Family Circus: Six typographic characters? I’m going to guess “fucker”.

MT: Oh, like lighting this car up is going to obliterate the Mafia-issued Vinnie numbers located on the dashboard and radiator support bracket.

Sex Organ, M.D.: By the time this story arc is over, we’re either going to need a scorecard or some LSD to keep this all straight. And poor Tim Howard… his dad can’t stand to see her making out with that Mr. Morse fellow.

Luann: Brad’s had so many kisses just like it? Apparently Toni either kisses just like TJ or, more likely, just like Brad’s own hand.
gleeb
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 am [Reply]

131 (Josh): Perfect response. Have you ever considered the Foreign Service?

’shaft: It’s a lesson in Nietzschean recurrence, isn’t it?

Dick: Knowing this strip, the only surprise would be if a body doesn’t fall out of the sky.

‘bean: Looks like she wants to tape her mattress gymnastics with that lieutenant. Wait, wasn’t there something about Wally about three months ago? What? A week? Huh.

Mark: If the existence of a car threatens the success of his mission, he instantly consigns it to the flames. Orange hat and coat or not, this guy is hardcore.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 am [Reply]

Keep it up Josh – you can’t please all the people all the time. If he wants consistent funny, let him go look at old Milton Berle You Tubes. Ha Ha ha.

I’ve been a “reader” and occasional snarker for a couple of years and I don’t note any decline in your wit. In fact, I am sometimes amazed that you can be so consistently witty, week after week.

Let’s here it from Josh’s fans!
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

It’s still early. I meant, hear. My Bronx education again. Sorry.

MT: This guy is consistent, speaking about consistent. You don’t want to attract attention in The Lost Forest, set your car on fire. Nobody will notice flames s hooting ten feet into the air, except the giant squirrels.
Buzz Buzzard
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 am [Reply]

Re: Snuffy

There is absolutely no inconsistency here. As you can see from the enormous plumes of smoke venting from their cabin, they’re simply burning the local coal in gratuitous amounts. Snuffy gets his corn liquor on every couple days and goes out to beat at the ground with Maw’s hat/scarf/whatever the hell it is (and sometimes her actual head if she gets mouthy). But soon enough Snuffy will excavate a briquette too far (in a timely reference to the mountain stripping currently under way in Appalachia), and their beloved rat-trap will fall into the valley.

There, the wretched bodies of Maw and Paw will remain preserved for eons, because even the vilest of creatures wouldn’t feast on carrion composed of 40% stupid, 35% coal fumes, and 25% fat. The only worthwhile remnant will be Paw’s paper, which he fished out of the local river and is a mimeograph from the Depression providing advice on hunting squirrels. It’s an heirloom, and Paw has read it every day for 80 years. But he done got no mind left, and now he done gone. RIP, Snuffers.
smacky
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:15 am [Reply]

This week’s Crankshaft strips pretty much write themselves:

Panel 1: Child at bat
Panel 2: Crankshaft’s father telling him: “Ok, son, you go in and use the bathroom and I’ll get the snacks.”
Panel 3: Crankshaft in a wheelchair, a puddle of urine spreading under him
smacky
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:26 am [Reply]

GT: Is that Kaz’s apartment, or is he chillin’ at the Master’s dojo?
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 am [Reply]

A3G: For the record, I said yesterday that Eric was toast.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:49 am [Reply]

If Eric isn’t toast, but instead simply fell out of love for Margo while bonding with his prison buddies, he will wish he were simply toast instead of the horrific mangled mass of bloody goo that Margo will make him for breaking the engagement.
mordock999
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann — July 23rd. 2009

“So You’re SCARED, Brad, eh? If you THINK you’re Scared, now, My little ‘Love Puppet’, WAIT til I DRAG you home and get you in the SACK and sex you to within an INCH of your life. Then before Your HORRIFIED eyes I’m gonna SLICE your ‘Pal’ TJ into a THOUSAND individual bite sized pieces and serve him as hourdouvres to the RICH. DON’T worry, My Love. We’ll just blame it all on Mordock…,” —- Toni

__________________________–

(My USUAL signature TAG-Line REMOVED on the Advice of My Lawyer)
willethompson
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 am [Reply]

MT: Y’know what I like about the assassin? He gives up fast and solves his problems with fire. Bagel stuck in the toaster? Cover it with gas and toss on a match. Peanut butter jar lid won’t budge? Kerosene. And don’t ask about the time he couldn’t get his girlfriend’s bra hook undone.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:20 am [Reply]

BC: This comic makes no sense. The ant’s father is clearly quite slender. The kid seems a bit chubby. Three servings of fruit, grains and veggies. Is that the three, or is it three each? Must it be three from each category, or can we mix and match? I’d say that the current recommendations is five fruit and vegetable servings per day, with preferably more veg than fruit, but these are ants and thus the nutritional requirements must be different. But don’t insects have, like, a few more arms than that?

Burning dogs, Midnight Skulker, now this miasma of vaguely comprehensible crap. Have they resurrected Johnny Hart from the dead or what?

Crank: Is this where we get to see his life story? Ed Crankshaft: The Making of an Asshole
So, when do we get to the part where he played little league with Abraham Lincoln?

Curtis has had poison ivy for two weeks, and this is the first time he has shown any discomfort whatsoever. Then we find out the little shit was only faking.

H&J: Yeah, I woulda punched him, too.

reFoob: Several times, I have congratulated Lynn Johnston on her use of 5 panels to move a story along instead of the standard 3 for soaps, or in lesser strips even 2 (yeah, I’m talkin’ to you, Mary Worth). Today we get 5, but there is no story line other than “Can we use the sprinkler?” “No.” “Why don’t you play in the sprinkler, son?” “I want to play with that toy.” “No – ok.” “I want to go to the park.” “Sure, but you have to walk.” “I don’t want to walk.” “Ok, I’ll drive.” I’m amazed that we didn’t get three days of “I want ice cream.” “No.” “But what if I pay for it?” “Ok, you can have ice cream and I’ll pay.”

Anyway, no story line and the first three panels are all meaningless tedium. The only panels necessary are the last two, and that’s for a weak word play worthy of crappy strips like Family Circle of Hell.

Lynn Johnston developed her story line rationale because she said she was always wondering “And then what happened?” Is this the stuff that would leave ANYONE wondering “And then what happened?” They got some wet napkins, and changed their dirty clothes when they got home, duh. Not exactly edge-of-your-seat excitement. More like middle-of-the-toilet-seat-excrement.
Flocko
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:22 am [Reply]

I’m just a lurker here who enjoys reading without feeling the need (or wit) to contribute. But Josh, I just have to say that was the most mature and calm response to just criticism I think I have ever read on the interwebs. In a medium where everyone else seems ready to fly off the handle at the slightest excuse, your blog is a model of civility. Long may it continue.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 am [Reply]

A Plugger’s “cereal music” is the crackling drone of bad teeth on All Bran, punctuated by cardiac arrhythmias.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Snuffy:
“Ha ha! Good one, Doc!”
Well, at least one of us found it funny.

Shoe: Jokes that make obvious puns of TV shows that haven’t aired in years…

….COMEDY GOLD!

Spiderman: I see that this thief turned to a life of crime after being an out-of-work Shakesperian actor. “Stand and deliver, Sir, lest ye taste my blade!”
“Your blade, eh, vile ruffian? Nay, THIS is a blade!”
See, shamelessly ripping off Croc Dundee without the old English just isn’t enough to keep your insanity defense.
willethompson
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 am [Reply]

MW: “What if we had children? We’d let the XBox raise them like every other 21st century parent! Or we would abandon them near the Tiber where they would be suckled by wolves and found the city of Rome! Or are we playing the game where I’m George and you’re Martha and we PRETEND to have a son? ‘What if we had CHILDREN??’ What the fuck, woman, can we at least settle some real issues, like you not leaving the car with 1/32 of a tank of gas???”
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Marmaduke: Whatever that thing is that’s carrying the drinks, it looks like it was rejected from Pluggers for having too much morph in its genes, and not enough anthro.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Re: Posts losing “magic”: Part of the “magic” was the mere fact that the blog was new. Up until then, no one had seriously ventured into dissecting the comics and parsing them out into paragraphs worth of material. If a strip sucked, most people (and still most people) would simply shrug it off as “Meh.” And that’s why we still must endure shitty strips like Beetle Bailey/Hagar/Wiz of Id for decades. So the whole blog idea was young and fresh and the field was wide open.

I’d suggest trying to mock different comics for a week, aside from the dozen or so that seem to comprise the bulk of the posts. But I would have no good suggestions for what those others would be. There are only x number of nationally syndicated strips, and a fair number of those are actually decent enough to get a pass when they have an off day.

But take heart, Josh, Dave Barry said that when he handed in his third column, his editor said “You’re not as funny as you used to be.”

That being said, the PBS rip on Mary Worth isn’t doing it for me. A motionless comic character that doesn’t talk would be Garfiled. Even today, he sits for 2 panels then barely turns his head to thought balloon some unhelpful, sarcastic comment devoid of wit. Mary Worth, on the other hand, is hard to shut up. The Biddy spews plattitudes, slogans, bon mots and banal cliches. The bitch even quotes from freakin’ bumper stickers. That is what slows down the plot. Aside from their being terribly little plot to begin with.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 am [Reply]

#114 – Poteet – I feel as if I should swagger a bit.

*swaggers experimentally*
Jumper
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

It’s not easy because gradually the cartoonists – who no matter how often they tell themselves to not read Comics Curmudgeon – are responding. If this keeps up, by 2075 even Mary Worth will be hip. By 1980 standards, anyway.
Mooncattie
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

MW – I have yet to see the slightest evidence of this “perfect love” that Mary was ranting on about. Lawrence and Del appear to be this bitchy couple that are at their best when they’re apart. Also, I pray that the button holding Del’s top together is made of Adamantium!
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am [Reply]

To ensure a satisfying ending for today’s installment of Cathy, take steady breaths, line your sights up patiently and squeeze, don’t pull.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Oh, and then set your car on fire.
Old School Allie Cat
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Shaftgate, Day 4 – So, question one then becomes, who is this little boy? My best guess? Remember Angel, the Rough Rider that had a baby and named him Eddie after gruff old ‘Shaft? I’m guessing that this is Eddie playing little league and that the old codger in the chair is actually Crankshaft.

Which leaves us with the burning question…

Why?
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Friday MW: Lawrence is gored by a startled young deer. Everything works out for the best, with puppies and procreation for all.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Puppies for some, procreation for others, and little American flags for all!!!
TheDiva
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

C’shaft: Lather, rinse, repeat. Wake me when there’s a change in format, or they actually get around to positively identifying the old coot in the chair.

FW: So, Cindy flirts a bit with Private Sullen and suddenly she’s got an inside track to a secret prisoner exchange? I would have thought she’d need to at least boff a CO for that privilege.

GT: Help me out here–am I lost because I’m new to this strip, or is it always this random and incomprehensible?

Lio: Wow, Lio not only resurrected Lon Chaney from the dead, he convinced him to do public appearances in his famous Phantom of the Opera make-up. Color me impressed.

Marvin: Well, assuming Marvin’s not old enough to talk, he’s also not old enough to understand the nature of personal choice, let alone articulate it, so the whole exercise isn’t so much “harmful” as “completely pointless.”

MW: Tomorrow:
“No, you left!”
“No, you did!”
“Did not!”
“Did so!”
“Did not times a hundred!”
“Did so times infinity!”
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:57 am [Reply]

BB: Ha! It’s funny because people with below-average intelligence are losing their livelihood! Bonus joke: If Zero ever gets out of the Army, he’ll have nothing to come home to! Stop–you’re killing me!

Curtis: Dear Curtis and Mr. Wilkins: This is a Greek plot that you do not want to re-enact. That way lies death and blindness. Wait—now that I think about it, carry on!

MT: Bobo the Assassin is so dumb that he literally means his last line: His next obligation in this storyline is to be unable to find his way out of Lost Forest.

PBS: I’m horrified to be asking this, but are those Mary Worth’s nipples hovering above the tabletop?

Blondie: Apparently, Blondie needs a new dress to wear to a cocktail party at Judge Parker’s house.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Does Meddlin’ Mary know that she wasn’t the first person that Del sought refuge from when she wanted to go wandering from her marriage?
“Hmm, I’ve already pissed off Askin’ Abbey the Asshole, Buttin’-in Barbara, Cliche Camille, Dramaqueen Debra, Empathetic Emily… Now I’m down to M’s. How long til I get to Xena, the XXXtra-Matrital Affair Queen?
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Today’s Garfield got me thinking about the so-called “legacy” (or “cockroach”) joke strips. Most of them are like sitcoms; the situation should be the source or context for much of the humor. So, Garfield’s jokes used to come mainly from his being a fat, lazy, surly cat with a clueless, dorky owner. Beetle Bailey’s (I’m assuming) came from the military, Dennis the Menace’s from his being a troublemaker, and Hagar the Horrible—well, I actually have no clue about what might have been funny about a Viking situation.

But maybe a major sign that a cockroach strip should be consigned to the trashcan is that its “sit” is no longer part of the “com.” Most of the so-called comedy in Beetle Bailey could happen in any situation; today’s Garfield has nothing to do with his being a cat. These strips have exhausted all the comic ore to be mined from their situations; they are tapped out.

Of course, if I’m right about this, then the funniest legacy strips are the continuity strips. Mark Trail remains absolutely faithful to the sources of its comedy, after all.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

#169 – TheDiva:
“Infinity plus one!”
“No such thing!”
“There is!”
“Is not!”
“Is so!”
Lawyerbob
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]

#18 B: Excuse the late response, but my understanding is that in most states a defendant can appeal a bail determination, though it’s hard to get it overturned. In this case, Judge Parker is probably thinking that in retrospect it was a mistake to set bail at “a billion trillion dollars, mwah hah hah!”
Talking Squirrel
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am [Reply]

MT: Can’t be bothered to go all the way to the dump! I’ll just tip these drums over this roadside cliff instead! Too much trouble to get my car out of the ditch! I’ll just torch it instead!

That’s the basic problem with the Mafia — poor impulse control.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

167 One-eyed Wolfdog
Actually, that sounds more like today’s My Cage.
aroo
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

buckyswife @80, Bootsy @87, Poteet @113, etc – Glad to be helpful. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing, and I hadn’t seen this one before. Even though we know going into it that the kitten we’re looking at won’t be supporting us in our old age, nothing makes it easier.

Steve T. @118 – I perhaps overstated, if you (as a former museum curator) say ‘1928′ for the Victrola. I was assigning it an arbitrary guesstimate ten years earlier, and then figuring Wilson could have been 18 when he got it. Perhaps it still works out the same if he was 28 when he got it, because then he could still date from 1900 and be 109 years old now. Solid construction on that Wilson, eh? They sure don’t make irascible neighbors like they used to. When he’s gone, and all that’s left are Crankshafts and crap like that, we’ll realize what we’ve lost.

zerowolf @121 – [insert Starbucks joke]

Josh Owes Us – It’s true that Josh’s writing style has changed. The writing now is more analytical. Having processed the lower fruit, leaves, and branches, he’s now looking at deep structure. It seems more like he’s paying the material a sort of compliment of taking it seriously, pretending that there is some logic to the strips, and teasing it out — and proving, in the process, that it was all pretty much random, all along.

You’ll be glad to know I snipped a lot — wait: I just snipped even more — but I find this place amusing. If Josh’s style of funny doesn’t agitate your humerus, you’ll find a range of snark from gentle ribbing to explosive deconstruction in the comments. There are also other venues for this, from Usenet to Twitter (well, there must be), though this one pretty much sucks up any free time in which I’d otherwise have to get a life or develop some sort of self awareness. Thanks, Josh!

Gotta run. Note to self: start with 139.
tb4000
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Luann: I don’t even get all into storylines like that, but I swear to God, if Evans makes this out to be some kind of St. Elsewhere-induced hallucination, I will lobby for this fucker’s head.
Professor Fate
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

FW: Two things – one prisoner exchanges can be kind of dicey things – especially when one side is composed of guerillas and things can go very very wrong and the last thing either side needs is a vain talking head banging around and possilby gumming up the works. Two – the press doesn’t work like that today – they would simply wait for the massive dog and pony show that would take place at the base – that way they would remain in air conditioned comfort and not too far from the drinks.

And last since we know what’s going to happen whats the point of this gibberish.
Muffaroo
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

What th–? Where’s my muff!

I was just thinking, “Hey, someone’s calling himself ‘aroo’ — that’s obviously a clever take on King Aroo.” Then just as I hit the button, I had that slow-motion “hey

wait

a

minute…”
Muffaroo
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

Shorter 180: That’s me at 177. Furrfu!
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

180,181 Muffaroo
I just thought the “B” was left off. You know, “Baroo.” They way bats:[ has Andy the dog talk.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

I guess I should give the link.
(second comic)
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

180 (Muff)aroo: Phew. I thought that I’d replied to someone named “aroo” and I couldn’t recall who that was—and of course, I take any little slip like that as a sign of impending mental deterioration.

And I agree with your comments about Josh’s comments. I don’t know that they’ve become “laugh-out-loud, snorting” funnier—but to me, they’re often “smarter, more intellectual” funnier, which I actually prefer. I often think of this site as my mental exercises: Josh and all the other commenters end up pushing me to try to think in more original ways. What’s amazing is that with so many people thinking so originally and cleverly, Josh still finds new things to say about these comics.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Luann–”So, what I’m trying to say, Brad, is that you’re boring, dependable and that I don’t have to worry that you’d ever cheat on me because although I’m settling for you, I doubt any other woman would…what with your whole mutated-potato-head look that you’re cultivating. It helps too that you haven’t pressured me into sex–what with my frigidness, total lack of vaginal lubrication and my psychological fear of sex that causes me to scream uncontrollably. I’m so lucky to have you. You don’t mind waiting patiently until I get the funds to complete my surgical transformation into a complete woman.”

If this were the Funkyverse, Toni would have terminal cancer already, but as it stands, does anybody really think she’ll live long enough for her and Brad to have sex anyway?

Odds: 5-2 Toni dies next week in a fiery building inferno
4-1 Toni dies in a murder-suicide via Dirk
6-1 Toni dies in a murder-murder-suicide with
Brad via TJ
8-1 Toni commits suicide when it sinks in that
she is in love with…BRAD!!??
'mogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

‘aroo, it happens sometimes, you know?
\'mogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

It’s funny the way things change (the art in JP and GT, Josh’s writing), and how they stay the same. For example, I looked at the Randomly Selected Post ‘O Mystery today and I found

Fuzzy says:

September 4th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Today’s Mary Worth = LAAAAAME.

My advice: Copy this post and paste daily, with the exceptions when Mary gets pissed off at Charlie, Aldo or some other male making obvious and ham-handed attempts at romance to her or anyone.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Agnes – Today is a good example of one of the things I like about Agnes: it has a very good handle on its characters and who they are, and a lot of the jokes flow quite naturally out of their established personalities.

A3G – He’s dead? Seriously? Honestly, if Margo’s boyfriend has been killed off (at least, not by Margo,) I think that would be the first time Apartment 3-G has truly surprised me.

Crankshaft – Har har! And by “har har” I mean “sweet Jesus Batiuk what the hell is wrong with you.”

Curtis – Coming soon: the long-awaited Curtis/Momma crossover!

F- – I am anything but a bleeding heart, but…deer suicide? Really? I don’t even like the bastards, but man.

FW – “Also, my video-editing equipment is apparently from 1979, and wherever we ended up in the time-WTF, that’s still outdated. I mean, geez, couldn’t they at least spring for an Amiga?”

GA – Please, please, please end.

GT – May I just say that I absolutely love Coach Kaz’s digs? With the vintage 1980s karate craze decor and Kaz’s non-negligible resemblance to actor Reb Brown, this panel could have come straight from some ’80s B-grade flick with a title like Ninja Detective. Also, it says a lot about Gil Thorp that it took me three readings to realize that the third panel was actually part of the B-plot.

Love Is… – seeing what the Anglicans will accept this time.

Luann – “Only usually you’re covered in cooking oil or cottage cheese, and sometimes there’s a coatimundi involved.”

MT – Uh-oh! Now this fellow has sealed his fate; after causing that much air pollution, he’s well and truly brought the wrath of Mark upon himself.

MW – The “perfect couple.”

MC – My Cage is hands-down the funniest thing on the comics page today. Bravo, Ed and Melissa. Bravo.

NS – Man, this is so much better than even the other Danae storylines.

Pluggers – No. Just no.

Popeye – Man, Popeye is such a bigot.

SM – And here, of course, is the primary problem with putting Wolverine in the Spider-Man comic: you’re generally not allowed to show eviscerations in a newspaper strip. Buh.

Edison Lee – You know, I think this is the first time Edison Lee has actually confounded me. What is this? A gun-control joke? A joke-less portrait of childhood disappointment? Neither? I honestly have no idea.

The Norm – And yet somehow, it still seems healthier than Lizthony.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

166 — This could work… after all there was an episode a few years back where Angel and Eddie attended ‘Shaft’s funeral.
Rob
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

Archie- That can doesn’t say “dog food” it just says “dog” Jughead his serving chopped up dog to his dog.

DT- Is it wrong that I’m really hoping that when the clown fires his confetti gun into the air, DT mistakes it for a real gun and opens fire. Of course I’m going to be disappointed because that is too ordinary of a death for DT, this arc is going to have to end with someone being trampled by an elephant.

FC- way to go dolly, now it looks like newspapers will be added to the list of things banned in the keene compoud

Heathcliff- Wait, What?!?!?

SF- yeah I’m sure they would cancell a season without even telling one of the coaches, unless he just forgot what with me so busy with his non-affair and all
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

188 commodorejohn, re Agnes: Yes–just the opposite of what I was bitching about in 172 above!
Fashion Police
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Either Blondie’s catering business has succeeded beyond her expectations, or Dagwood got a raise. She’s shopping at Boni’s Boutique instead of the sale at Tudbury’s Department Store.

We’re dying to see if the other two dresses were a shade more subtle. The blue one was a bit overzealous, like the cannons in the “1812 Overture.”
Chyron HR
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

#180 Muffaroo says: Where’s my muff!

(Jack Benny reaction face.)
UncleJeff
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

#180 Muffaroo says: Where’s my muff!

Surprise bikini wax? Brazilian ambush?
Bitter Scribe
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

#4 Violet: Meta-snark! I love it!
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

#108 – That really is beautiful, isn’t it?

I shall send you a case of Evian if you so desire! : )

BTW, the Taco Bell Chihuahua is no longer with us. However, 15 years, lots of love, and a natural affinity for the lens is not a bad thing at all.

#147 – Awesome. !
Bitter Scribe
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Oops, I meant #94.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

#192 – Blondie’s own cannons have been banned from the concert hall ever since an unfortunate incident involving stageside seating, a near-sighted timpanist, and a soft mallet.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

198 One-eyed Wolfdog
Ouch!
gnome de blog
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

#180 Muffaroo –

There’s never a merkin handy when you need it.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

#199 – Indeed. The recoil nearly put the man’s eye out.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

1-I’d Wolfdog @ 198 & 201
Now that is one Blondie strip I would like to see.
Gabacho
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

In the same way none of us will ever forget where we were when Aldo drove off the cliff or that idiot LJ gave Grampa a much needed stroke the same damn day that Funky Winkerbean showed death as an annoying mime, today is a day filled with comic awesomeness.

Apt 3G – So Margo’s fiance “was” in love with her? Eric is dead, thereby ruining Margo’s plans to snub her roommates by not inviting them to her wedding. The tragedy! I hope Margo dedicates herself to finding Eric’s reincarnation and making his life miserable.

Mary Worth – So the little skank has pulled a runner before, has she? That explains a lot. Well, not really. Lawrence could do better but he’d miss the blouse.

Crankshaft and Rex Morgan – Dealing honestly with age, decrepitude and imminent death has never been so much fun before.

Sally Forth – I don’t want to make anybody jealous or brag here, but I was a sitting member of a Budget Oversight Committee for nonappropriated, externally funded municipal projects. It was as you would expect all tinsel and glamor. I prepared a detailed presentation on key performance indicators and cash burn rates only to find out when I showed up for the meeting that the committee had been folded into another and the chair had neglected to send out the notice.

I feel Ted’s pain, but then I always feel Ted’s pain. Stop reading my mind, Mr. Marciuliano! The life of a disconnected milquetoast is not an easy one.

and finally, today, Gil Thorp shows my cartoon fantasy man, Coach Kaz, shirtless. Better than Tom of Finland, better than Kyle’s B&B, Kaz is what I swoon over – dumb, upbeat and well muscled.
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

#198 – Reminds me of a quote from Dolly Parton to an interviewer asked about exercise, health, etc. – she said something like “Honey, I’d go jogging, but with these I’d blacken both my eyes.”

Re: RM – It is sad indeed to see people in the throes of Alzheimer’s, but I have to say I just love Becka’s look in the last panel. Everything about her face is screaming, “Oh, shit! Why didn’t I just stay in the office this week and organize Rex’s sloppy paperwork?”

FC – Dolly, that says “Family Circus.”
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

When asked about exercise, I mean. Horp.
\\\'mogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Margo: First, Alan is killed, now Eric! So much death and pain! Sob! Hey, what if I start a career as a funeral planner?

… Oh, look, something shiny!
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Sorry about all the ///’s. I kept changing it, but it kept changing back. Darn those intertubenets.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

FC: “# @ X * & !” means KFMRPI. which stands for…Keeping Family Members Repressed, Perpetually Ignorant
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Since Dolly asks what it spells, it is obvious that she is not reading a profanity in the comics. Instead, she asks “What does pound, at, Roman numeral ten, asterisk, amperstand, exclamation point spell?” Given her affinity for malpropisms, I find it hard to believe that she would be able to ramble off this impressive list of polysylabic vocabulary without flubbing. Maybe the comic should have had Dolly showing Jeffy the paper. “They call it an ass-teriffic, because they use it instead of spelling out the words terrific ass!”
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

They think they’re actually married!
Becka: Yeah, I work for a couple like that.
Poteet
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

I’ve been here for a few years, and still find CC very very funny. Some days and comments are funnier to me than others, of course, but the bottom line is that I never leave without being glad I visited.

Anyway, tastes differ. The MT Pieta comment on 7/20 made me laugh like a drain, whereas I couldn’t really understand the current GT comment. For some readers, the opposite may be true. Chacun a son gout, and I bet I got that wrong again.
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

#209 – That would work, since Dolly is always pulling malapropisms out of her ass.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

JP:I worry about his investors!
Yeah, I stay up late at night concerned about the financial welfare of drug kingpins and mobsters, too. When one of them goes from riches to rags, it just weakens your faith in the American dream. Well, the Scarface-American dream, anyway.
Greenbrastic
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

DtM: Psst, Mr. Wilson… Stash the body in the “antique” umbrella stand behind Dennis. It’s the perfect size… No one will ever know! (I will gladly be the voices in Mr. Wilson’s head, since it’s for a good cause)
Pop Culture Gangster
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Its embarrassing, but I’ll admit it: it took me a few minutes to figure out what the hell was going on in Gil Thorpe today. Not that I couldn’t understand the dialogue, but because the scene changed three times in three panels, and I didn’t understand who was talking to who, and where. What a waste of brain cells.
AMC
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

MW – You’d think a college professor and a teacher would realize that hand gestures just don’t communicate much through the telephone.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Frazz: Alphie’s dad is yelling “KORI”
Baron Bizarre
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Well, I’m relatively new here, but I have to say that while I like to think of myself as a reasonably clever individual, every day I read something here that makes me wish I could be as clever as the folks that post here.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

7/23

A3G: “The concept of ‘wuv’ confuses and enrages us!”
rmmd: “Pearl” my ass. Oh, this puts Mary Worth in a whole new light. Even her appearance in Pears Before Swine (yet another connection) takes on a tragic hue now.

DtM: Do pigs and cows read the comics? If so I guess this might be a little menacing.

HtH: I feel for Hamlet here. A girl who farts valentine hearts is one you want to give a wide berth.

GT: I can just see Kaz getting a phone call from Gil while he pounds beers and watches Judge Judy. “Yup. I’m on it. It’s a continuing investigation, so I can’t really discuss it right now.”

Ziggy: Brings a whole new meaning to “cheap date.”

SFx: Is this a “count the Freudian symbols” contest? I’ve got about half a dozen so far.

SSmith: “Whut’s my exercise plan? Shoot. Yore wife, whut else?”

Luann: If someone doesn’t wake up from this nightmare soon, vomiting will ensue. Hey Evans, if there’s anyway you can wake me up, go ahead and do it.

Shoe: Oh for… This joke was hackneyed before David Duchovny started dyeing his hair.

S-M: Paul Hogan reads today’s Spider-Man, flashes back to his X-Men audition, and weeps. Dammit, they said they were open to casting an Australian!
gnome de blog
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

#201 One-Eyed Wolfdong said:

The recoil nearly put the man’s eye out.

I take it you were personally involved??

Presumably, Blondie’s “cannons” were tuned to D-Natural and not B-flat.
CanuckDownSouth
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

It’s a bad day in the comics when I actually think the Settlpocalypse was better-run than some of these romances. Is there something in the water? In cartoonists’ ink?

Between Foobs

Maybe because you’ve been an utter cipher shown with nothing in common with her and no loyal qualities whatsoever?

Maybe because he’s been a manipulative jerk who imposed himself on you, extended his grudging welcome, and lied about your phone messages to wreck your lovelife? Who in their right mind thinks that’s romantic?!

Ah, but far worse is Luann. How do I hate thee, let me count the ways…

(1) icky innuendo dialogue for weeks instead of either saying what they felt

(2) let’s not forget the parents of this legal adult spending far more time preventing him from having a love life than worrying about their teenaged daughter’s suitors

(3) no common interests – pure “insert love interest here” workplace character

(4) contrived “get them together” accident. Nope, couldn’t have them just *say* something.

(4B) remember the calendar auction-places-to-the-ones-who-should-benefit?

(4C) and the went-nowhere photo shoot?

(4D) thankfully I have repressed years’ worth of other missed opportunities.

(5) That Evans no doubt thinks he’s drawn a love story for the ages, with drama and twists and turns, instead of just idiotic jerking-around
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

I was going to snark today’s comics, but I’m not as funny as I used to be, so I’ll snark yesterday’s instead.

A.D.: Since when do members of a prehistoric/post-apocalyptic (take your pick) society even know who Flava Flav is? For that matter, since when do rocks and flowers talk?

B.B.: Please don’t zoom in any farther. The closer you get, the more grotesque Buxley gets. Judging from her lips, I’d guess that two more steps and she’d look like Grossie from Crock.

DB: Well done.

EC: BUSINESS NETWORKING LUNCHES. Got it.

thorps. There’s something missing from Panel 1. I’m pretty sure it’s an ’80s synth-pop beat and a sassy black partner.

H&J: Y’know what I believe? I believe that a racially conscious black child would totally say “I believe in segregation” when talking about her dinner plate. Because that’s such a natural thing to say. Tomorrow: Hilarity ensues when it’s revealed that when Herb told his wife “I’m gonna go O.J. on your ass” he’s referring to using Orange Clean to remove a stain from her trousers.

JP: I agree, there’s a good chance D’Vito will be killed. Have you ever seen Rhea Perlman mad?!

Luann: Why the ominous shadow? Is their love… doomed?!? DOOMED!!?!?!

MW: Ah, I see Delilah’s started her collection of Mary Worth Ancillary Characters Collector Plates with the “Delilah On The Phone” model. Seems a bit self-centered, but well, there ya go.

Pluggers: There’s only one thing that can put a look like that on a Plugger’s face, and I don’t want to contemplate what it is. Ewwww, I just did.

One-Eyed Sailor: Evil magic tomato. Right. Look, King Features Syndicate, it ain’t like this is a legacy strip being carried on by successors to the original creator, or even a zombie strip rerunning the original strips. These are reruns of the successor’s inferior work. The only reason this crap is running is because there’s nobody still alive to be embarassed about it. Let it die. Please.

Shoe: Ha, ha! Oh, won’t Jimmy Carter have a good laugh at that one!

6C: These are not the “chix” I have come to expect.

SFx: Listen, Fox, the day I want advice about how to cook my soups and stews, I ain’t gonna ask someone whose idea of haute cuisine is forest-floor carrion, capisce?
Marion Delgado
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

Mibbitmaker: don’t be too sure (re, dream sex).

Brad: wow. now THAT felt nothing like TJ’s left hand!
bats :[
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

183. Sequitur: it is so strange (and flattering, this Leo preens) to be linked! :)
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#120 Still a Fan,
Remember, it’s hard to stay in love with anything for an extended period of time. At least to the same levels. There’s a reason the divorce rate is 50%. So the site may be more of a routine to Josh, or it may seem like one to some of the readers. Who’s to say?

Anyway, I’m still having fun.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

#221 CanuckDownSouth – Hey, maybe you could do an alternate take on Luann once you’re done with Foob’s Paradise…
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

224 Bats:{
Well, Aquarians like to have fun and make people feel good.
Katya
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

#184 — buckyswife:

You stated it beautifully for me when you said that you “often think of this site as [your] mental exercises.” I feel the same way — Josh and the posters are so intelligent, clever, witty and hilarious that I really feel my mind being stretched. Ouch!

Seriously, though, that’s the main reason I’m here. The combination of high intelligence and a great sense of humor is just too much to resist. And I’ll let you in on a deep, dark secret if you promise to keep it strictly to yourself — I don’t even care about the comics themselves all that much! It’s everything else I’ve just mentioned that this site has to offer that keeps me coming back.

Who knows — maybe we’re all staving off senility, what with all this mental exercise! Now if could just find the same level of motivation for physical exercise…

Ha, ha, ha!
Katya
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Re: #228 –

Yes, proofreading before posting really is a good idea. Obviously, I meant to insert an “I” near the beginning of that last sentence (not counting the “ha, ha, ha” as a sentence). :)

It also doesn’t help to have your thirteen-year-old son looming over you and deliberately attempting to annoy you because he’s bored at the moment.
THe TRuTH
July 24th, 2009 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

Hey Mr. Wilson, you look at me like a pedo who just got busted …Putting on your dancing music so you can dance with that boy…Oh the shame

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