The Comics Curmudgeon

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Kaz’s new fighting style is unstoppable

Gil Thorp, 7/23/09

There’s a song that’s traditionally sung at the Passover seder called “Dayenu,” a Hebrew word that means, roughly, “It would have been enough.” The thrust of the song is that, during the whole fleeing-from-Egypt thing captured so memorably on film by Cecil B. DeMille and Charlton Heston, God did any number of classy things for the ancient Israelites (smiting the Egyptians, parting the Red Sea, establishing a law code in easy-to-carry stone tablet form, etc.), of which any one would have been plenty good for most people; after each verse, in which one of said divine acts is described, everyone shouts “Dayenu!”

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that we may never get to the promised land of classic Gil Thorp summer wackiness (and the so-far snoresville B-plot about hobo Ted Pearse and the Uninterested News Bears doesn’t raise my hopes), but no matter how it turns out, we’ll always have today’s glimpse into Coach Kaz’s Pier-1-Orientalism-ariffic living room to remember fondly. Is the man some sort of secret martial arts master, running his own dojo out of whatever shabby one-bedroom apartment he can afford on an assistant high school coach’s salary? Or does he just really like having a bunch of random Asian crap scattered around his love pad? You know, when I first saw that hanging gong thing, I thought for a minute that it was a framed record album, and that his rap-metal single “Playdowns (Next Year For Sure)” had finally gone platinum, which, you have to admit, makes exactly as much sense as whatever’s going on here.

Not to be neglected in the midst of Coack Kaz’s unsettling decor are his unsettlingly ripped shoulder muscles. Fortunately, Kaz knows that ordinary humans would be intimidated and terrified by his rockin’ body if they saw it without being adequately prepared, so in panel two he’s thrown on a Hawaiian shirt that covers up the guns and illustrates how fun and relaxed he is.

Dick Tracy, 7/23/09

Despite being quintessentially American in subject matter and politics, Dick Tracy is always on the verge of becoming some kind of Weimar-era expressionist film in tone and presentation, and the current plotline, in which Tracy’s daughter Bonnie Braids (really!) insists on taking her parents to the circus, is no exception; one assumes that “Here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky” sounded less stilted in the original German. And anyone who finds clowns even slightly unsettling will be seeing panel two, in which a grim-faced, dead-eyed specimen cocks his gaily painted musket at the ready, in their dreams for weeks to come.

Mark Trail, 7/23/09

The orange-clad Mark Trail assassin in the current storyline may not be the brightest guy in the world, but I have to say that I like his style. There’s something that might tip off the cops to his identity? YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE’S GONNA SET THAT SHIT ON FIRE! I can’t wait to see what he does when he realizes he left a witness to his latest crime alive; we’ll see if Mark’s extremely wooden speech style means that he’s actually made of wood, and thus particularly flammable.

Family Circus, 7/23/09

And with that, the printed material allowed inside the Keane Kompound was further limited; now only the Bible and issues of Reader’s Digest published before 1989 would be permitted.

UPDATE: Oh my goodness, I almost forgot to add: BID ON this Ziggy cake pan on eBay! It appears that any cake made in this pan will more closely resemble E.T. than Ziggy, but whatever. ONLY FOUR HOURS LEFT!

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 02:20 pm and is filed under Dick Tracy, Family Circus, Gil Thorp, Mark Trail, Ziggy. |

224 responses to “Kaz’s new fighting style is unstoppable”

AlmostAGhost
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

I assume “#@X*&!” spells “JESUS” in the Keane Kompound
alex
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Pretty impressive her knowing the names of all those underused punctuation marks, though.
Aging Hipster
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

Can we talk about coach Kaz’s tribal tattoo? On second thought, let’s not.
Cranky
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

“Unofficial P.I. Bob Kazinski gets to work” is the greatest intro ever, assuming that you’re cool with “getting to work” meaning “asking your unofficial client an awkward question,” and “leaping to an unjustified conclusion from said question and relating it to Kelly.”

More importantly, it’s not a Hawaiian shirt, it’s a dress shirt with live starfish stapled to it, and the one by Kaz’s belly button has a pretty terrified look on its face.
sloopygoop
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

I still can’t believe that the Keane Kids were watching The Simpsons on Sunday.

I also can’t believe how yesterday’s B.C. was about setting dogs on fire. (Before they replaced it online.)
ScienceGiant
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Dear budding arsonist in Mark Trail: Hey! Rusty took a picture of you in the restaurant. Better burn him and his camera too, just to be safe!
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Well, Babelfish gives “Here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky!” as “Ist hier, wo die Clownfeuer in die Luft und in eine Überraschung aus dem Himmel heraus fällt!” I have no idea whether that’s any less stilted, and I’m sure that any native German speakers we might have here could better it, but I definitely do like it better than the English version.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

The villains in Dick Tracy are the most mournful lot I’ve ever seen — anticipating inevitable grisly death, no doubt. But c’mon, guys, could we see a little joie de la criminalité? I mean, even Spider-Man villains put more passion into their work.
survivor
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Josh –

Gil Thorp prominently features a gong in Coach Kaz’s living room. A fucking gong.

And you still won’t allow yourself to just sit back and enjoy this?!? Jeez …
DAS
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

I thought the whole point of Dick Tracy was that it was a Weimer era German expressionistic portrayal of the American (socio-political) mentality in the person of an archetypal “American hero”, Dick Tracy.
Raymo
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

I know this has been brought up before, but does anybody know what the hell is going on in “Crankshaft”? Has he time-jumped too, a la Finky? Do we get to see him just sit in his wheelchair now, with the permanent frown and oxygen tubing? I mean, WTF? Batiuk is one warped dude.
Old School Allie Cat
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

DT – I love that second panel of Dick Tracy. Several years ago, I was having dinner with my parents, my father described an episode of Real Sex he’d seen the night before where people who get off on dressing up like clowns and getting busy were featured.

Suffice it to say, clowns are a whole new kind of creepy in our family.
Cornwhacker
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Bob Kazinski + Ted Pearse = Ted Kaczynski (AKA the Unabomber).
Case closed.
Josh
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

#9 survivor — This is me enjoying things, pretty much. Damn you, ironic, post-joy Gen-X sensibilities!

Josh
bats :[
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Some Thursday observations:

CS: “If there’s a better way to spend an afternoon, I’d like to know what it is.”?
Dying in a wheelchair while watching a Little League game?

MT: Orange-dude can do whatever he’d like to hide his tracks, but the squirrels…the squirrels…

Anyway, we can only hope that he’ll literally get lost, and it’ll be up to Mark to find him and summarily punch him.

FC: using Dean Booth’s gonna-be-patented-any-minute-now Universal Comic Cursicons ( http://comicbooth.com/blogengine.net/post/Universal-Comic-Kursing.aspx ), this translates to “#OXRP!”
Utter filth.

JP: did Randy Parker always have such a bull-neck? Steroids? Gym-rat? I’m not keen with the Dan Fielding brushy hair thing, either.

MW: oh, F you, Lawrence! Go crazy, Delilah — the least you can do is give him an STD when he gets home.

MC: is it just me, or does Rex have the voice of Patrick Warburton?

RMMD: does Alzheimer’s work this way? I know memories are lost, and patients will often make new friendships in care facilities (this is the case with Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband), but are things that never happened pop up and are believed? (Honest question here.)

9CL: THIS is funny. Okay, Brooke, you have an itty-bitty reprieve.
Chyron HR
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane – Oh, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, will I ever stop wanting to kick you in the head?

For Better or For Worse – Young Lawrence trains to make a man very happy someday.

Funky Winkerbean – “C’mon, four-eyes, I’m getting embedded one way or another!”

Jumble – Feint; Irony; Packet; Thwart; The “Twit Racket”.

Mark Trail – Friday: “There are a lot of prints on these clothes… I can’t just leave them for the police!” Saturday: “Wait, I might squeal… I can’t just leave me for the police!”

Rose is Rose – “Yeah, I see yer problem, pal. You’ve got one o’them magical rainbows jammed in yer axle.”

Six Chix – Getting hot off a medical diagram, huh? We’ve all been there, honey.

Zits – Yawn. Wake me when he can play Tank.
150
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Is it bad that I’m treating that Family Circus like a cryptogram? “Hmm, six letters long, every letter different, unprintable in a newspaper comic strip…‘comedy’?”
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

#11 Raymo –

Crankshaft got stuck in a time-warp eddy current — the strip now consists of Ed dying in different ways, over and over forever.

It’s a lot funnier!
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

I’m not afraid of clowns, but I might decide to be after seeing the size of that one in relation to the other teeny-tiny figures on the stage.

Of course, those dead eyes alone should qualify him as the Anton Chigurh of the circus world.
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

y220: I’d like to congratulate (sincerely) gnome de blog on the Typo of the Day: One-Eyed Wolfdong.

Unless it’s not a typo, and there’s something you’d like to share with the rest of us….
ScienceGiant
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

FC: Depends. Was the “!” a cursicon, or the punctuation at the end of the word?
Jackuul
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

Josh, you should have mentioned this. The backlash is growing. It’s feeding the hate machine. It hungers…

@sloopygoop: When you first mentioned it I thought you were joking. The truth is sadder than fiction. What other horrors do the comics now find funny?
Comrade Denny
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

That clown also looks like he escaped a Don Martin cartoon – a German expressionist Don Martin cartoon, with a touch of Dali, Dada and Laudanum. Wait, let me re-simplify that. A Don Martin cartoon.

Meanwhile, I just can’t look away from the Ringo the Ringmaster’s sad, soulful eyes in Panel 1. You can tell he didn’t think his life would turn out this way. He didn’t want to get involved in circus-themed crime. He just wanted to make children smile, and now Dick Tracy is going to punch out his spleen, shove it down his throat, and throw him into the tiger cage. Probably over some petty larceny or something.
Dragon of Life
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Family Circus is delivering a more subtle message than anticipated: the X in the midst of punctuation, typeset normally and completely out of place, is not a symbol; therefore it must either be a letter… or a multiplication sign. Converting to ASCII hex we get 2340×2621, which is 6133140. A quick check of the googles reveals this is a patent number referencing “Method of manufacturing dual damascene utilizing anisotropic and isotropic properties”. Taking this acronymically, we get MOM DD, U A AIP. What Dolly has discovered, and revealed to us discerning readers, is that her mother is curvaceous and either the reader, Dolly, or the rest of the FC family are apes — oh goddammit, I wasted a perfectly good conspiracy to discover what we already knew?!
BigTed
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure “Bob Kazinski, Unofficial P.I.” was a failed Andy Richter show a few years back.
Isaac
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

That is quite honestly the meagerest ditch I think I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure a Hot Wheels car wouldn’t get stuck in what appears to be simply a tire track perpendicular to the car, but hell, if it’s an excuse to set stuff on fire…
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

7 — When you have Babelfish translate it back to English, it reads “Is here, where the clown fires into air and into a surprise from the sky falls”.
BigTed
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Dolly isn’t upset because of the swearing, but because she just noticed that this awful “Family Circus” comic in her local paper is all about her and her family. If she ever learns what “meta” means, she’ll turn into a psycho-killer even earlier than expected.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

I assume the title of this post is referencing the recently publicity surrounding Get Your War On and Jamba Juice?

I’m surprised you didn’t mention the Oedipal competition that is so creepily foregrounded in today’s Curtis. I don’t know what’s most disturbing about it. The elongated “yeahh!” Curtis sighs out as his mother rubs him, the jealous looks exchanged between father and son, the fact that’s she’s rubbing his open, seeping sores? It’s like a Victorian morality play in which the open sores of Curtis are meant to symbolize a venereal disease brought about by non socially sanctioned sex. In this case, with his mother. Just doing naughty thing could make you sick back then, no germs needed.

Yuck.
Lxndr
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

The “Uninterested News Bears”? Why not just call them the “Bland News Bears?”
Chipper
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Was Tim Mills being held captive in the apartment of Coach Kaz? Is that where Eric is now? And is Dolly actually asking her mom what the hanging on the wall behind Kaz says?
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

y142 Shave Ezra,
And you see here why I can’t really sign onto the “let’s all wait for Josh” plan. He’s a much harder act to follow than I am, and most days that goes for everyone here.

Now, as Beavis and the would-be assassin from Mark Trail have said, FIRE! FIRE!
DaveyK
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

I suspect that is not Coach Kaz’s apartment, but the interior of Kaz’s Massage Therapist’s apartment. By which, obviously, I mean “hooker”.
Alison
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

I’m sure FC mommy is one of those people who will now write an angry letter to the editor demanding all comics be taken ot of the newspaper so her melon-headed kids will never again accidentally stumble on a bad word. Having thought about that, she will also demand that they should stop printing the paper entirely, just to make things safe. Then she will decide it’s best just to demand all books everywhere be banned. And then she will decide all language should be banned as well. Then she will teach the melon-heads how to talk in grunts since language is bad, and from now on FC will only be written in grunts. Which will make it much better.
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

I’m now seeing Coach Kaz as the infamous “Coach” from last season’s Survivor: the longish hair, the stringy musculature, the tattoos, the fixation with the pseudo-Asian… If he starts doing the crane pose at sunrise and talking about dragon-slaying, I’ll be convinced.
Perky Bird
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

That’s a gong? I thought it was a strange clock, or a lovingly-displayed model of the Death Star.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

DT:

one assumes that “Here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky” sounded less stilted in the original German.

Okay. “Hier ist, wo der Clown Feuer in die Luft und eine Überraschung fällt nicht in den Himmel.”

I don’t know, Josh. Still looks a bit stilted but maybe a bit more poetic.
Niall
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

I still can only give sidelong brief glimpses at Dick Tracy. Gah. Guh. Gobble.

I might have to reinstate Mark Trail in my Chron page; there’s something fascinating about a deranged pyromaniac assassin who, while musing aloud that this car might have too many prints, gleefully busies himself touching it everywhere to leave more prints, so that his psyche can have all the justification it needs to SET THAT SHIT ON FIRE INDEED. When (not if) he meets Mark, he’s going to paw him up everywhere, leading to more firey exchanges. …wait, no, dammit, I’ved Dingoed again.
McGarrett
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Is Coach Kaz’s awesome tattoo supposed to be an abstract portrait of Gail Martin?
Lolsworth
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

David Rees reference = eleven awesomes.
UncleJeff
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

I thought Coach Kaz was living in Chevy Chase’s place from “Caddyshack”.
These Strange Worlds
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Gil

What I find particularly disturbing about Coach Kaz is that yesterday, when he started talking to Gil, he was wearing some kind of tee-shirt. But today, still deep in conversation, he appears shirtless.

The unescapable conclusion is that as he spoke to Gil, he undressed!

He at least took off his shirt (no doubt funbling as he transferred the phone from one hand to another so he could get the shirt over his head).

There is no evidence one way or another to determine whether he continued and undressed completely.

(No! I refuse to picture a totally naked buff, tatooed PI standing next to his gong and talking to his patron on the phone! I’m 100% hetero and I just refuse).

Excuse me, I’m going back to re-read Rex Morgan. And Luann. And Nancy, for ghod’s sake.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

I got to admit that the only time I read Gil Thorpe is when Josh presents it in this blog (that’s fairly often so I think I’m not missing much). Viewing what I do, I just can’t get motivated to add it to my Houston Chron log (or even chain it to a log).
What confuses me in the third panel, are they standing on a sidewalk outside County Park and are those bats (if they are bats) splayed all over the street? If so, I can’t wait until a cyclist rides by, hits the bats and goes sprawling. I hope the cyclist is that guy from Mark Trail who, having burned his car, borrows Rusty’s bike and takes off into Gil Thorpe.
TheDiva
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

That clown with the rhinestone blunderbuss is going to haunt my nightmares. Also, “Clown With A Rhinestone Blunderbuss” would be an awesome name for a band.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Fun fact: To ensure uniform viability in the worldwide market, the dialogue in Dick Tracy is actually cowritten by an international team of linguistics experts, none of whom – this is the clever bit – have any mutually intelligible languages in common whatsoever. The entire process is thus a marvellous cross between Exquisite Corpse and a game of Chinese Whispers. At one point in the chain, today’s third panel actually read “The clown that can be named / is not the eternal clown / The surprise that falls from the sky / is not the eternal surprise”.

I think we have to admit that things went downhill a bit from there.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Me@43
Did I say “borrowed Rusty’s bike? Ha, ha, ha, yeah, right, Ho, ho.
Carpeteria
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

According to Dean’s Comicbooth cursicon translator, Dolly is reading aloud “Komrpi”, a very common black magic Slovakian witchcraft curse which, having been read aloud by the innocent girl child will surely spread its evil throughout the Keane family, leading to what will likely be a very entertaining series of Family Circus.

What I want to know is, which comic is Dolly reading? And how meta can one get when discussing comics with characters who are reading comics while existing themselves in the comics?
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

DT: Clown. Third panel. Compared to the people next to it. Just how big is that #@X*&! clown?
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

47 Carpeteria
I would imagine Dolly is reading what Rat has to say.
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#22 – That is downright unacceptable.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
I never liked those stupid, self-serving, usually pseudo-evangelical “limericks” and “poems” anyway.

Just a suggestion – as LJ should, just give it up already, B.C. people. There are plenty of new, talented cartoonists looking for some prime real estate which may not be around very much longer.
Digger
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

I always enjoy the educational benefits of Mark Trail. Today I learned that if you’re trying to sneak through the forest undetected, you should wear bright orange and start a big-ass fire.
Steve
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: I dearly hope that the characters in Coach Kaz’s Chinese motto hanging on the wall might mean something.

After working a couple of combinations, the most “logical” seems to be the “Dali (a city in Taiwan) Neighborhood Ballet” or the “Dali Neighborhood Hero”, as the bottom character is somewhat obscured.

So Coach Kaz may either a member in good standing of a Taiwanese amateur ballet troupe, or has been awarded a commemorative plaque for his crime fighting in a small Taiwanese city.

Or the artist Rod Whigham just threw some characters together. Either way, Gil Thorp fans win again!
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

#50 Calico: Here’s my email to Hart, Inc.:
Frankly, I am surprised and disgusted that anyone would have thought that burning a dog would be fodder for humor. Why did it take angry letters to make you realize that? It’s disturbing to think of you creating this comic in the first place, and then even more disturbing to realize that you all signed off on it. And the brief, glib apology isn’t sufficient. Why don’t you take some of the money you make off this strip and the others and donate it to a group that fights the kind of cruelty that you advocated?

And here’s their (quite breezy, cheery reply):
That’s a good idea! We will take it into consideration.
Thanks for writing, we appreciate your feedback.
Patti
fdtutf
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

And with that, the printed material allowed inside the Keane Kompound was further limited; now only the Bible and issues of Reader’s Digest published before 1989 would be permitted.

Sadly, that won’t stop the Keane Kiddies from getting their sweaty little hands on racy stuff like Ezekiel 23 and I Am Joe’s Man Gland.
Baka Gaijin
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: Clown? Clown! CLOWWWWN!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH…
Baka Gaijin
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! [pant, pant] AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Evil clown! HROOP!
These Strange Worlds
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Wilton Ziggy Cake Pan

OMG, I just had to look.

I once made an “alien autopsy” cake for the Indiana Science Fiction Club… Giant white domed head and black almond-shapred eyes, and if you carved open the torso, the vanilla cake was hollowed out and filled with organ-shapred pieces of carbed apple and oranges in blueberry sauce.

But as ghod is my witness, I’ve never seen or contemplated something as horrible as a cake shaped like Ziggy.

This makes me want to find what other Wilton cake pans are available.

Gotta love the Internet.

http://www.wilton.com/shapedpans/browse.cfm

None come close to the ick factor of Ziggy, although what’s up with the Stars and Stripes pan? Isn’t that, like, unpatriotic or something? Plus there are only 20 stars.
Old School Allie Cat
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

#36 – Perky Bird – Yeah, I didn’t see it as gong either. I thought he had a framed Gold Record. See, I live in Nashville, where that kind of thing would actually show up in someone’s house more than a gong might.

I like to think Gail Martin gave it to him after “Tarzana Nights” went triple platinum.
Treadwell
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Okay, this was yesterday.

Luann: As a fellow loser lug, I can’t help rooting for Brad in his quest for plumbing the hottie.

But I was rudely reminded I was reading fiction when “You’re the guy I can trust, you’re the guy I can turn to…” was followed by “…the guy I love”.

Because in real life the closing phrase would be “which is why I know I can freely tell you all about the 4-hour sex romp I had with your best friend last night”.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Anybody know CPR for Baka Gaijin?
Dingo
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Does anyone here read the language posted on the banner in Unofficial P.I. Bob Kazinski’s home? Behind him is a gong, a painting of mountains, and that banner. Somehow, I believe it has something to say about virility and Old Spice. Plus, when did he get that tribal tattoo on his left bicep? This could be the only Gil Thorp character with a Prince Albert. Well, other than Marty Moon.
Mac
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Is the “fighting style” title a sly reference to David Rees’ war on Jamba Juice?
Toby
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Dolly was apparently reading the strip that Billy wrote here Meta is Murder.
Dingo
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin, I’m currently at work. When I get home, I’ll post a link to a Rolando Merida comic involving clowns. That should get you screaming like white trash at a bake sale.
jth90c
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

#11 and #18, to be perfectly fair to Tom Batiuk, his father died recently (it was in the July 16, 2009 Elyria Chronicle Telegram) so he may be dealing with that in his own way, which is to say in front of the entire world.
Baka Gaijin
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Ziggy cake pan on eBay? I now know why Wilton is headed for bankruptcy.

#64 Dingo: Too late. Any more scared and only dogs can hear my screams.
Steve S
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

I love Coach Kaz’s cheerfully deliberate incompetence as a detective. “I asked one case-related question today, and so far I’ve eliminated Major League Baseball, Walter Cronkite, and the neighbors’ dachshund as suspects. Whew, time to relax!”
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

DT: Now we know what happened to Flunky the Clown from the old Letterman show on NBC. (Don’t look, Baka.)
Katya
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

I never read “Gil Thorp” and, in fact, had never even heard of it before becoming attached to “The Comics Curmudgeon.” I still don’t think that I’ll be able to muster the energy to start following it, even though Josh has been showcasing the thing all week.

However, I feel compelled to comment on that assistant high school coach’s living room. That is to say, I never would have guessed that it was part of an actual living space in a person’s home if Josh hadn’t clued me in in his commentary.

Judging from all appearances, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought: why, obviously it’s a dojo! The guy’s even got a towel thrown around his neck, as though he’s just finished a good round of kickboxing or something.

A couple of troubling questions remain, however. First of all, what does that Asian script on the wall hanging mean (or not mean — perhaps they’re just random characters for all I know, or maybe they’re not even real characters in any Asian language, for that matter)? Secondly, what’s up with that Asian-looking tattoo just below the coach’s “unsettlingly ripped shoulder muscles” on his left arm?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Bootsy
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Everybody was Kaz Fu fightin’
Giant fists were flying fast as lighting…
crazyjerseygirl
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: #2, yes that tattoo is what’s getting me. It looks like the kind of tribal tats you get down in AC during spring break. Anyone want to check if Kaz is sportin’ the ole tramp stamp? Cause I sure don’t

Mark Trail: Did he remove the license plate and vin number as well? PRobably not as any assassin who is dumb enough to dress in safety orange and drive a 89 buick le saber into the woods is too stupid to understand the basics of evidence tampering.

Dick Tracy: I was afraid of clowns. Now I’m VERY afraid of clowns.
~Crazy
bats :[
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

Okay. Are we ALL CLEAR that Delilah and Lawrence are having problems? Everyone? Come on — there’s no shame in admitting to something you don’t understand.
All right. Let’s try to move on, shall we?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3749662983/sizes/o/
Dingo
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin #64, that sounds like sweet love I had with a man back in college. He was huge. HUGE. I stared at it as though a talisman. He came toward me and I bit my lower lip. He entered and I wanted to scream but could not. My vocal cords were as tight as my sweet patoot. Neighborhood dogs began to bay and howl at my beckoning. I thrashed. I flailed. I pounded the walls, the floor, and the cushions of the couch. Thrusting, thrusting, thrusting, he plowed like a demonic machine. The smell of sweaty flesh, bargain store lubricant, and Old Spice filled the air. Finally, he began to snarl and growl. I knew soon that I would be flooded with his emotions. He grimaced like a corpulent dowager passing the turd of death. I grabbed for anything that I could to brace me. And then, at that very moment that he shouted out “Oh! Lawzy!” and seeded me, I shattered my porcelain swans into a thousand tiny pieces.

So I know what you mean.
Lawyerbob
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

#36 Perky Bird & 58 Old School Allie Cat: That’s definitely a gong! I mean, what else would a shirtless unofficial P.I. with a tantric tat have in his home office?

M.T.: Let me get this straight. Bad guy sets the fucking car on fire so he won’t leave any clues?

FC: So Dolly reads Doonesbury?
gnome de blog
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

#20 buckyswife:

Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.

There’s less there than meets the eye. It was a typo. I caught it but left it in because, um, I thought it was funny.
Haven
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

By ’surprise’, she means ‘dead body’, right?

I think I’m starting to get the hang of Dick Tracey… It’s like all those times I tried to construe other comics to refer to horrible things, such as corpses from just off panel, except this time it’s all true.
Buchholz Surfer
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: “Tips on Stealthily Avoiding Detection and Authorities While Hiding in the Woods,” by Burny McGee, master criminal:
1. Wear garish, bright orange clothing.
2. Wound a man by firing your gun without a silencer, but don’t finish him off, and don’t even bother shooting at the witness who carries him away.
3. Rev your car’s engine really loudly for a while, but don’t go anywhere.
4. Set the car on fire.
5. Narrate every one of your actions out loud, so any passersby will immediately realize that you’re a dangerous fugitive, and that you’re the one who set that car fire.

Shaft: Thank god we can’t see Shaft’s hands in the second panel of his fantasy, as it’s likely that one is on the knee of the young hippie girl next to him, and the other is… well it’s doing the same thing it was a couple weeks ago, when Shaft was driving that ice cream truck around the block ogling young teenage girls.

Since this is all in his mind, I guess it’s also lucky we can’t see his hands in the last panel either.
crazyjerseygirl
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

#73: Thanks Dingo, thanks alot
Now I need brain scrub to get the images of Mary Worth and Chinbeard out of my skull.
Sigh
~Crazy
Donald The Anarchist
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

18 Uncle Lumpy So you’re saying Eddy’s in the space-time continuum?
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

75 gnome de blow
That was hilarious!
Nomstrosity
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

Anyone able to translate the kanji on Kaz’s overpriced scroll behind him? Or is it ‘kanji’? To me, it just reads as “starfish, running guy, frowny face, smirky face.”
Jonny Quest
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: I don’t understand the concept of time in Judge Parkerville. A day goes on for weeks and a storyline of a few days can go on for months, but an incarcerated accused criminal can get a bail ruling reversed on appeal in a few hours. Also, I don’t think the appellate court would release the accused, but would send the matter back to the trial judge with instructions. Why are the police talking with the judge rather than the prosecutor. I’ll stop here. It’s just a comic strip.
Chibigodzilla
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

79 Donald The Anarchist
And this is his sofa, is it?
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

#77 Buchholz Surfer: I think you forgot 2a: Assemble a panel of giant squirrels to observe your every move.
Niall
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

70. Bootsy: Finish it and I’ll sing it.
Jonny Scrum-half
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

I know that everyone likes to make fun of Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft with their unrelentingly gloomy storylines, but I really like that Batiuk is dealing with serious and emotional issues rather than regurtitating BS jokes. It doesn’t always work, but he brings something to the comics page that no one else does.
LA Steve
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Eeww, the Ziggy cake pan offers WAY too much opportunity for frosting embellishment. Anyone seen whipping up a batch of pink frosting, or reaching for a can of Vienna sausages for garnish, will be IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED.
Snakedart
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Though I hate to be critical, I think “blunderbuss of mirth” beats “gaily painted musket” any day.
bats :[
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

54. fdtutf: I remember when “I Am Joe’s Man Gland” was first published! I must’ve been about 10 years old, and prurient even back then. Imagine the disappointment when I found out it was about one of Joe’s old testes, not about his wiener at all! (Yes, I really was disappointed, with that coy title and all…)

57. These Strange Worlds: one of the cool things with Wilton cake pans is seeing how creative cake makers can be with an original pan, using it to create other themes (like turning Dora the Explorer into a 21st C. Alien Autopsy). I think inverting the pineapple pan and judicious frosting could result in “Portrait of Chinbeard as a Pompous Ass,” for example.
While the Ziggy pan is no longer available from Wilton, it does include a word balloon, so you can go crazy with that: “Please. Kill me.”
Richard
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Luann: I’ve told you people that when it gets to this point, Dirk will show up. Brad cannot be allowed this level of happiness.

Look for the Jerk to arrive by the end of the week.
Sock Puppet
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

I realize that clowns are inherently creepy, and the one in Panel 2 is even holding a freaking firearm, but that just makes it all the odder that this is one of the LEAST creepy-looking Dick Tracy characters in years. And that includes Bonnie, whose deranged glee in Panel 3 is far more likely to give me nightmares than the musket-packin’ clown.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

#89 bats :[ – Ah, but that’s not a gland, now, is it?
bats :[
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

92. commodorejohn: yeah, but I was about 10 years old. A girl can dream!
(Oh, yeah, so can Dingo.)
Donald The Anarchist
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

GT Should we just call this Milford Express? Kaz is so baked. Next he’ll be calling athletic supply companies: “Did somebody order a lot of balls? Like…a lot of them?” And did Gil ever consider that just maybe the culprit is someone who has access to a shitload of standard high-school baseballs, like, oh, someone with access to a high-school’s ATHLETIC FACILITIES? Is he that intellectually lazy? Did I even need to ask that?

DT Why is it never a happy surprise, like a big bag of weed, which I suspect I’ll need to last through 6 more weeks of this? It’ll be a body, but because the laws of physics, or three-dimensional geometry don’t apply here, solving it will essentially involve Dick viciously beating and shooting people at random, because that’s how his universe works. Dick’s gun is infallible.

MT I’m so glad this vicious criminal is taking trouble to keep his language clean. Bil Keane appreciates effort like that.

FC Dolly’s brain has just been conditioned to transform such words as ‘rationality’, ‘originality’ and ‘creativity’ into unpronouncable gibberish, as these things have no place in her world. The “Dollypropisms” are a hilarious side effect of this conditioning.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

A clown with a musket quite fancy
Thought he could impress his new fiancee
He shot in the air
A surprise waited there
He got shot in the heart by Dick Tracy.
Old School Allie Cat
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

#86 – Jonny Scrum-half – I have nothing against comics dealing with serious topics – politics aside, I think Doonesbury is doing a fine job of accurately representing the ups and downs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think Mutts makes a good case for adopting strays (maybe a little too frequently, but…).

I remember a story arc in Curtis some years back where the mother lost a pregnancy as a result of being randomly assaulted on the street that was incredibly moving.

I think Batuik, has in past, done great things with Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft – teen suicide, drunk driving, Alzheimersm, illiteracy.

But I started feeling that at some point, as a reader that I was being patronized and manipulated (see also: Lynn Johnston) and I responded by hitting Google, finding this site and jumping in with both feet.
Charterstoned
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

MT – You can’t make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the ‘64 Buick Skylark!
Scott S.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

Glad to know that I’m not the only person who feels that way regarding Dick Tracy.

Now if only someone could translate “Here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky” into German, I’d be quite pleased.
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Non-comic-related good news! I told many of you I’d keep you posted on the job front. Last week I got called in for a last-minute job interview as a page in the children’s section at the library. They called back on Tuesday to offer me the job, and I found out today I passed the background check and I can start next week! It’s 19 hours a week, and they’re willing to work around my school schedule, so I’m going to continue pursuing my computer science degree.
Dingo
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Using Babelfish, you get “Ist hier, wo die Clownfeuer in die Luft und in eine Überraschung aus dem Himmel heraus fällt.” Translating back, it becomes “Is here, where the clown fires into air and into a surprise from the sky falls.”
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Back to the comics!

DT: Am I the only one who immediately thought the surprise falling from the sky might be hurled monkey dung?
Violet
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Mama Keane: Well, Dolly, that would depend on the context. Let me take a look. Oh, well in that sentence I’d say that almost certainly stands for “motherfucker,” though possibly it could also be “cocksucker.”
Rob
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Oh no, Josh stole my comment on family circus from the last thread and improved it, there goes any comment of the week chances I had @#$*&
queek
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

all of this discussion of Weimar clowns with guns reminds me of a famous foody and his method of making donuts.
gnome de blog
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

#82 Jonny Quest said:

I don’t understand the concept of time in Judge Parkerville.

“Judge Parkerville” is in the Spencerverse, an alternate, non-Euclidean universe where the space-time continuum cannot be perceived or measured accurately by outside observers.
zerowolf
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

GT: There are three suspicious people with baseballs down at the county park. They’re easy to recognize as they have no facial features.
Evan
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

I’m a little unclear on how “#@X*&!” is pronounced. Did Dolly say “what does pound sign at sign ex asterisk ampersand exclamation point spell?”

Or “what does assmuncher spell?”
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

#86 Johnny Scrum-half – I could kind of agree with you if I could even half-believe that Batiuk was dealing with serious issues. He doesn’t deal with them, he just uses them to inflict one misery after another upon the sorry bastards who inhabit his creation. As Old School Allie Cat said, Doonesbury deals with serious issues, as do a few other comics, and they actually try for a fairly accurate portrayal of everything about the issue in question.

Batiuk, on the other hand, doesn’t really give a tinker’s damn about believability or accuracy; take, for example, the most recent development in Funky Winkerbean, with the US being apparently A-okay with the idea of letting a few terrorists go free as long as some American soldiers are returned in exchange. The only reason this happened is because Batiuk saw some potential to inflict misery on his characters by turning what should have been a joyous homecoming into a gut-wrenching realization by all three corners of the love triangle that there would have to be a decision by two of them that would alienate the other. (Slash-ficcers, feel free to speculate about a Comic John/Funky pairing.) Lisa’s death was never about believable drama, it was about inflicting misery and garnering attentioon; why else would she have gone fucking blind before she could see the leaves turn color like she wanted?

The list goes on and on and on over decades of this shit, from Harry Dinkle’s tragically-ironic hearing loss all the way back to Lisa’s teenage pregnancy (well, that one was probably more about punishing the love interest for failing to throw herself in the arms of the Nice Guy, but you get what I’m saying.) The man just loves depicting people in pain at the cruel, arbitrary whim of fate. Similarily, I do not for one minute believe that the latest developments in Crankshaft have anything to do with Tom B. doing a well-written look at aging and acceptance of mortality; he just has some clever new way to torment people that he’s thought of.

And even if he were trying, the man has a bigger tin ear for true drama and all its necessary components (sensible, efficient writing, good pacing, etc.) than Michael Bay, only he covers up his failings with pain and misery instead of giant explosive fireballs.
fishmorgjp
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

DT: At first I thought it said that a clown would fly in the air and drop a surprise; I thought it was meant in the sense that a bird drops a surprise on your car (or you).
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

104 queek — Bork bork bork! I knew even before clicking that’s what it would be!
Dagger
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

That’ll take care of any evidence I left behind! Now to walk back to the city on foot with a sniper rifle.
Mokichi
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Dingo #61, Nomstrosity #81:

It looks like the artist copied the characters successfully, but the phrase itself seems to be random — ???????. The characters could be interpreted to mean “greatly establish village virtue,” which seems pretty ridiculous. Banners like this are usually in Classical Chinese, which can be read in China, Korea, or Japan — but the phrase doesn’t make any sense to me (and I googled it and found nothing).
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

By the way, I sent an email over to Tian at Hanzi Smatter, and he replied with this explanation of the mystery characters in Gil Thorp. The top character is ?, meaning big, great, vast, large, or high, and the second is ?, meaning child or boy, or the surname Tóng. Any combination of the above is pretty hilarious, but feel free to pick your favorite.
Joe Blevins
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

FC: I can remember being a kid in the early 1980s and reading the comics aloud with my mom. She’d always read the curse symbols as “blankety-blank.” For some reason, this came up as an issue most often during Beetle Bailey. I was a big Beetle Bailey fan back then and even had paperback collections and a Beetle doll. (I liked that under the brim of his hat he had two little dots for eyes.) I bring all this up only because the Keane children must be the last ones in their age demographic to still read the newspaper comics on a regular basis…. apparently of their own volition, too. I can’t imagine a kid being a Beetle Bailey fan in 2009, which is probably for the best considering the strip’s recent descent into geriatric fetish porn.

DT: Out of context, the last panel could be from a storyline in which someone finally explains the basics of human reproduction to Dick Tracy and resorts to very, very abstract metaphors to do so.
Mokichi
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Damn — that row of ????? were the characters — guess they don’t come through in HTML (or I don’t know how to do it). Apologies.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Blasted Unicode troubles. Oh well, the characters are in the linked image, if you really need them.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

Hey! I can contribute!

Kaz’s faaaabulous wallscroll says “Great Fighting _____” (the last character is cut off too much to read; could be almost anything, possibly “dream.” Or “recruiting.” Or… yeah, about anything.)
Mokichi
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Oops — sorry commodore John. Tian seems to think what I think are two separate characters are actually one, and so reads “establish village” as “child.” Could be.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

A day late and a dollar short, but the two characters (written pretty poorly) mean something different when read as a single unit.

In Japanese, together, “great” and “child” (?? if it doesn’t also get gobbled into gibberish) will become “great fighting spirit,” don’t ask me why. For those who like this sort of thing, here’s a dictionary that lists that reading option: http://www.edrdg.org/cgi-bin/wwwjdic/wwwjdic?1C You have to know how to input the characters, though.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

Okay, if you look up “oowarawa” (the oo is the top that looks like a cross with legs, the warawa is the bottom two parts that aren’t cut off and should be closer together) at the link I posted, plus click the “Search using romanized Japanese” option, it’ll take you to the reading I got.

Sorry, but it is coherently something, just badly, badly written.
Nekrotzar
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that Coach Kaz’s scroll says “Ist hier, wo die Clownfeuer in die Luft und in eine Überraschung aus dem Himmel heraus fällt!”

Today’s FC reminds me of a story, which I will relate to you now.

When my daughter was about 5, I took her to the National Zoo in DC. At the time she was just starting to learn to read.

While there, she needed to use the bathroom, as kids are wont to do. She sat in a stall, while I waited just outside. Then I heard her say, “Z – O – O. It says ZOO in here.”

I asked her if there was a sign in the stall, she said no, it was just scratched into the wall.

There were a few minutes of silence, and then she asked, “What does fuck mean?”
Calico
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

#53 – Well done.

#54 – Do you think the Keanes allow for Chick Tracts in the Kompound, though?
Asterion
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

Can’t help but feel that today’s Family Circus might be another dig at Pearls Before Swine (Which has actually featured Mary Worth for the past few days).
Bryan
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Luann: Dirk shows up and pounds Brad. Like Cool Hand Luke vs Dragline, Brad keeps getting up even though he keeps getting knocked down. Toni sees this and gets even more moist for Brad. Dirk is vanquished once and for all. The End.
stand
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Dolly is reading herself thereby initiating an infinite regress of self-commentary. The philosophical implications are staggering!
ChattyGenes
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Re the foreign language characters in GIL THORP: Mr. ChattyGenes (who is Japanese) says the sign doesn’t mean anything. He is of the opinion that the artist tried to copy some characters and did not do such a great job. He says that one character means “big” and that another one means “kid” …and that was as far as he got before he gave me back the magnifying glass and the printed out comic and said he wanted to watch the news on TV.
Red Greenback
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Around the World with Bonnie Braids:
Her sentence translated (“gisted”) from English to Romanian:
“Uite, tata, aici e unde mascariciul focuri in aer si o surpriza cade din cer.”
-Back to English:
“Look, Dad, here’s where the clown shots into the air and a surprise falls from heaven.”
-Aaaand English to Norwegian:
“Titt, Pappa, her er hvor klovnene skuddene inn i luften og et overraskelsesfall fra himmel”
-Back to English (here’s where it starts to get good): “Look, Daddy, here is how klovnene shots into the air, and a overraskelsesfall from heaven.”
-English to Hebrew (here’s where smoke started venting out of my cheap-ass computer): ????, ???, ??? ??? ????
” klovnene ????? ??????, overraskelsesfall ????? ”
-Back to English:
“Look, my father, here is how klovnene shots were fired into the air, overraskelsesfall from heaven.”
-Let’s go to Japan, shall we? (maybe this will look like something on Coach Kaz’s wall)
“??????????????klovnene???????????overraskelsesfall???????????????”
-And finally back to Esperanto:
“Situation [the glance], my father, this are how the klovnene bullet was released into overraskelsesfall from air, Heaven.”
Brunhilde
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

Wolverine has been waiting to use that Crocodile Dundee line for 23 years.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

For pity’s sake… if you look up the combination of characters at the dictionary I linked in #119, it will show those exact characters (pronounced oo and warawa in this case) as the conjunction which has a different meaning from the two, distinct characters. It isn’t a common phrase but it is legitimate.

If you use Chinese input instead of Japanese or the romanized version, it should work also on that particular dictionary’s search.

Am I posting invisibly or something?
Poteet
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

DT — I don’t have time to read all the preceding comments, for which I apologize, and therefore I’m probably the fifty-seventh Mudge to say this, sorry. I predict the falling surprise will be a mangled corpse.

GT — I did understand the top comment this time, and now I’m afraid of Coach Kaz and everything about him, including his hair.
Rachel K
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

You have to appreciate an assassin who, after committing a crime, presses his fingertips to the getaway vehicle and says loudly in case anyone’s watching, “Oh no! Now I got fingerprints all over the car! Gosh, now I’ll just have to light it on fire!” Presumably, the cost of things he “has” to set on fire is included in the bill — car, hotel room, small woodland creatures…
Muffaroo
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

9CL – By design or not, Brooke’s phrasing, “Where, then, shall we stash their clothes?”, reminds me of a piece in The Wittenburg Door, now known simply as The Door, a Christian — possibly even Southern Baptist — humor magazine somewhat unusual in the existence of humor within its pages. It was a period of deep soul-searching articles in other publications, so they had an article titled, “How, Then, Shall We Brush?” I expect it’s a parody of another title I’ve never heard of. Well, it was a happy memory. Carry on, then.

Bizarro – Another happy memory. Mushrooms. Sigh.

DTracy – “Look, Dad, here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky!” Oooh! A new plot would be aces — a genuinely new plot, I mean — but what the hell. I’ll settle for the surprise being Eric from A3G.

Marfield – We join our scheduled comment in progress.
…but this is ridiculous! (laffs)

PCity – Wonder, Adventure, and the Spirit of Exploration all would have required tax dollars to be deployed. How far do you want to pursue this, Stantis?

6Chix – Is that what the kids are calling it now?
cj
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Note to Locher & Brozman:

You may not have been aware, but young women do not have old lady smile wrinkles.
Muffaroo
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Big Ted @28 – “[Dolly]‘ll turn into a psycho-killer even earlier than expected.” Will this be before or after she hits puberty, currently estimated at 2063?

Nomstrosity @81 – starfish, running guy, frowny face, smirky face. I’d translate that as Patrick, Charlie Brown, Margo, Funky. I could be off in the second item, of course.

Jonny Scrum-half @86 – He brings something to the comics page that no one else does. It’s called bathos. It might have been halfway original when he first did it (though it’s always possible to find earlier cartoonists doing somewhat the same thing in the soapy days), but he’s milked it for so long, most of us here just can’t give a flying funk any more.

Donald @94 – And did Gil ever consider that just maybe the culprit is someone who has access to a shitload of standard high-school baseballs, like, oh, someone with access to a high-school’s ATHLETIC FACILITIES? So, you’re saying the balls could have come from an athletic supporter? Interesting.

Aqua Karen @129 – I feel your pain. Between you and me, I suspect that some posters don’t read the comments before they write things.
Poteet
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

# 131 Rachel K — Yes indeed — this may be my favorite assassin ever. One reason is that I’m a snappier dresser than he is, which has never been true of any assassin I’ve ever seen before.
Aitherion
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

If this Crankshaft arc doesn’t end with a comic that shows Ed having a heartattack in the first panel, him enjoying a bowl of soup in the middle, and him dying in the last, I’m going to be incredibly ashamed that I actually read the whole damn arc.
cheyenne
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

#121 Nekroztar- I agree! xD
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

#129 Aqua Karen – Nope, it’s just that we rarely take the time to see if someone else has beaten us to the punch.

#132 Muffaroo – I don’t think the Door really had a denominational affiliation, although they did get a lot of mileage out of trolling the various fundamentalist groups back in the day.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo #134

Well, I know I cross-posted accidentally with the first person’s link (sorry, #138 and #113 commadorejohn, it was minutes off and I was overeager, though I did acknowledge it had been late in my second post) to images of the characters seperately. (I think copypasting them together into the Japanese/English online dictionary will also get you to the rare but actual meaning that is not gibberish, come to think of it, for people who don’t have/don’t know how to input Japanese.) I think over 30 minutes is probably a safe leadtime…

I just translated a 12 page article from Japanese, so I’m testy about Japanese today. (And I’ve learned over time that it’s never safe to say “Those two characters? Why, that’s gibberish together!” without being absolutely sure, because Japanese is an insane language.)
Ista
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

And here I was, left without anything to bring my friend to her suicide party. A ziggy cake will work great!
sugarpie
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

I wrote this earlier today but got called away from the computer. Old School Alley Cat, commodore john, and Muffaroo have all made much more thoughtful replies since then though.

There is one thing though, Johnnie S-c. I do admire your willingness to give him the benefit of the doubt during what is surely a painful time for Batuik.

86, Jonny Scrum-half This was mentioned several thread ago, Monday maybe, when Crankshaft (?) first appeared in the wheelchair.

I’m still not certain why the comics page is the best place for Batiuk to deal with these issues. Many readers have probably gone through this with family and friends. I sure have. The morbidness of his stories is relentless, and hasn’t provided anything edifying or redeeming (so far).

With a few exceptions, CS has been a big old jerk for most of his life. If Batiuk has modeled CS on his father, I am ashamed for him.
Rusty
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Dingo, I’m afraid to ask, but will anyway: What’s the Prince Albert reference mean?
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

“…either the reader, Dolly, or the rest of the FC family are apes…”

OH NOEZ!! EVILUTION!!!!ONEONEONE
Disingenuous Penguin
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail’s bad guys are awesome. “Oh yea! I’ll burn the car! That won’t be at all suspicious and/or attract police! In fact, the smoke in the sky and burning smell of rubber will drive people away! Yea! I’m so glad I didn’t go to college.”
Katya
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey:

If Zero has inherited any of his (lack of) intellectual ability from his parents, as is usually the case, they probably haven’t really lost their farm, but only misplaced it. I’m sure it’ll turn up.
Donald The Anarchist
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

142 Rusty Oh, Rusty, you just HAD to give Dingo an opening, didn’t you? For future reference, information about Prince Alberts can be found on the…ah, YOU know….
Nekrotzar
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

OK, I am now seriously thinking about having this made into a T-shirt on cafepress.

Indicdentally, as best I can tell, the first word on the second line means ‘clown’; it is pronouced ‘joker.’
papa
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

FYI, on Coach Kaz’s oriental wall hanging there are two (poorly-drawn) characters visible and an unrecognizable third character mostly hidden by Coach’s head. The two visible characters make the Japanese word “owarawa”, which means strenuous effort or hard fighting. It tickles the inside of your mouth when you pronounce it correctly. Kudos to the artist for looking up something obscure but fitting to decorate Coach Kaz’s pad.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

*tears* I… I love you, 148 papa, for being the other person to admit it isn’t amusingly gibberish but a real word, however obscure.

I don’t even care who posted what, I’m just happy someone else is saying what it actually means.

And a Prince Albert is something you put in a can, or a piercing of the male genitalia. And Google’s image today is for ComicCon, one of the largest comic conventions in the US. And my favorite color is probably green.
Deena in OR
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

Commodorejohn-re: Wittenburg Door-

IIRC, back in the early days, they were loosely affiliated with the Lutheran Church, I think? The Wittenburg Door reference came from Martin Luther’s nailing of the 95 theses to the door of the church. Of course, I may be completely wrong :)
papa
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo #134

Guilty as charged. In my rush to show off my Japanese, I missed Aqua Karen’s and ChattyGene’s comments. Apologies.
the angry black woman
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

I’m still amused that, ever since Pearls Before Swine stole her, Mary has not appeared in her own strip. I wonder if this will be revealed as a plot to help Delilah more effectively sneak off to argue with Mr Points Awkwardly To The Left.
papa
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

#149

*sniff* I love you, too, Karen.

It gives me such a warm feeling to know that my post made on stolen company time to this blog devoted to deriding tired old newspaper comic strips is valued.
Aqua Karen
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Hugs all around!

I think a lot of people here either speak some Japanese and Chinese, or know someone who does, and somehow over the day nobody posted, then in the last couple of hours, there was a rush.

Hooray for the Kaz getting his just credit of having an actual word there, even if it’s not really written very well. Maybe he did it all properly and formally for the season, knelt in his little shrine there and wrote it himself as he channeled his manly power, earrings aglow with the force of his testosterone. Brush pens are hard to use, I always have lousy sizing and spacing when I write with them too.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

#150 Deena in OR – Could be; I only know it through the back-issues my parents had. At any rate, they certainly didn’t shy away from poking at anybody :)
boojum
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

97 Charterstoned: I know.. but try to tell it to today’s youts.
Steve the Pocket
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

Heh. I wish I’d known about the Ziggy cake pan sooner; I’d have posted a link on Cake Wrecks. Of course, the shape is vague enough that we may yet see the results of its use on that blog soon enough. If I do, I’ll be sure to link it here. :D
Deena in OR
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

@155: I loved the Door in college. Of course, I much prefer my religion administered with a large dose of self-deprecating humor.
wagmore barkless
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Am I the only one who is concerned that Josh seems to have his ebay settings on “Notify me when Ziggy cake pans come up for bid”?
seismic-2
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

I suppose we shall learn the truth soon enough, but for now I am happy to assume that this story arc in Crankshaft is an alternative timeline. It fits in with the “many worlds” interpretation of quantum mechanics, which in effect asserts that at every instance of time every event that occurs forks off an alternate reality with multiple outcomes, thereby generating an infinity of alternate timelines. Of course, according to the familiar principle known as “BLUM” (Batiuk’s Law of Universal Misery), in all of those infinite possible realities Crankshaft is still an insufferable dick.

This same principle of BLUM will of course be applied in the upcoming Funky Winkerbean story arc “Crisis on Infinite Cancerverses”, which reveals that Montoni’s Pizza Parlor is in fact a portal to alternate timelines in which Funky and pals have been afflicted by every single malignancy known to medical science, often five or six different ones all at once.
Judo Throw Toy
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Dude, I wish I were Coach Kaz!
Wig
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

Dear Abby,

Please help me. I used to have a great relationship with a fun little comic strip I’ll call “8 Dudeplant Drive”. We were drawn together because of its cleverness and originality and charm. For a couple of years I was enchanted, and everything was wonderful.

But over time things have changed. There are no more laughs between us, just the occasional polite acknowledgement of an attempted bon mot. I have come to hate the characters for the very brightness and precocity I once admired and loved. I sometimes feel physically ill when I see my once-beloved strip. The magic is just gone.

I’m not asking you to tell me it’s over, Abby. I know that. The problem is, I can’t seem to break away. It’s like watching a train wreck, Abby! I know it’s going to be painful and wrong, and yet every day I find myself drawn against my will, just to see how bad it can be. How do I break away and move on with my life? Please help! I’m spending at least 30 seconds a day in this hell!

- Hates Monte even more than Thorax in Chicago
anty a
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

FW: I figured out why Cindy looks twenty years younger than her decrepit peers. She escaped Westview years ago and thus no longer eats Montoni’s Pizza every single day. Maybe she even occasionally eats a vegetable that is not an oil-drenched topping.
Mark
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

First time poster, long time lurker – I won the Ziggy cake pan on eBay. When it arrives I’ll make you a cake!
Jeff
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Re: Gil Thorp

The first two characters:
?? ??????? (adj-na,n) (sens) strenuous efforts; hard fighting

The rest is obscured…
Mars
July 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised Josh didn’t mention the Family Circus gag is a redraw of a 1974 gag, only with Billy instead of Dolly. Maybe he just figured everyone already knew. Is recycling jokes a foregone conclusion now?

About the banner ad: Nice to see Hsu and Chan still going after the demise of EGM.
NoahSnark
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Willing to wear bright orange when stealth is your best option? Can you get a car stuck in a ditch trying to escape from the woods? Do you think setting stuff on fire is a good way to avoid notice? Do you accept your destiny compels you to be mauled by a bear (possibly a coyote)? Then congratulations – you qualify as a Mark Trail assassin!
queek
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

142 > 146 : dang, I was going to say that. . . .
Citric
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

Silly dog, Pluggers don’t know the meaning of words!
Steve
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

Re: Coach Kaz’s Chinese scroll – Coming at it from Chinese as opposed to Japanese here’s what I got

After working a couple of combinations, the most “logical” seems to be starting with the characters for the city of Dali in Taiwan, followed by the character for neighborhood. The bottom character is somewhat obscured, and I’m guessing on the second half of the compound.

This gives either the “Dali Neighborhood Ballet” or the “Dali Neighborhood Hero”

So Coach Kaz may either a member in good standing of a Taiwanese amateur ballet troupe, or has been awarded a commemorative plaque for his crime fighting in a small Taiwanese city.

Alternatively the Japanese translation seems to make more sense . . .
Rooty-Toot-Toot
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Alright, I noticed with some surprise the thread yesterday about you not being as funny as you used to be. Well, accurate or not, you made up for it yesterday and today. I barked out loud over your Dick Tracy commentary. Someone SHOULD film Tracy in the style of Weimar German Expressionism, fer shur.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

I think my new personal interpretation is that every proffered translation of Kaz’s wall scroll is, in fact, correct. This thought fills me with much joy.
Rusty
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

146: I know enough not to click on his links. Anyway, Aqua Karen has clued me in.
Packherd
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

Nothing ever sounds less stilted in the original German.
Sheila Sternwell
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

#108 CommodoreJohn, you said it much better than I did last night, where I was so damn irritated with the whole thing that I forgot to post anything about a non-Batiuk strip, even forgetting all about HOT KAZ ACTION.

Really, that’s an excellent summary. I take Batiuk’s stuff personally because, having been through a few of the things he’s used for “edgy” storytelling, I’m a bit peeved that these things are played for puns and attention.

I just got here, but I’ve been reading Aqua Karen’s posts with fascination. Fun! And GT was accurate! Ish! Usually, the in the non-Asian bad B-grade martial arts movies I love so much, the Asian characters on decorations are complete nonsense. According to people who know more than I do, of course, I am barely monolingual.
TromboneGuy
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

9CL: I will continue to read this strip so long as he persists in drawing Edda like that. Shallow? You betcha.

#16 Chyron HR: When you said Tank I was sure you were referring to Yoko Kanno’s “Tank!” – the theme song from Cowboy Bebop. Which is also full of win and awesome.
Silruin
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Oh, thank God they’ve stopped fingerpainting in the dirt, coach! Heaven only knows what would become of them if we allowed them to begin harnessing any motor skill not necessary to Sport. Honestly, I’m always anxious until we quash any artistic tendencies in these children. I heard painting makes you gay.
buckyswife
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

99 Gold-Digging Nanny: That’s great news, and congratulations! (I think your good news got lost among all the translations of Coach Kaz’s wall hanging!)

And 164 Mark: Welcome, and congratulations to you on your acquisition of a fine Ziggy cake pan!
tb4000
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

DT: I always suspected the late Vincent Price was into dressing up as Snidley Whiplash during his S&M sessions, but I never dreamed it went this far.
Poteet
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

# 99 Nanny — Congratulations!
Maggie
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

GT: I really did think that was a framed gold record hanging in Coach Kaz’s apartment until I realized, with your help, that oh my God, it’s a GONG?? Wicked! Who has the balls to buy a gong anymore? Here’s what buying a gong says about you: “I really really like Asian stuff, but the extent of my knowledge ends at Street Fighter II and Long Duk Dong. Oh my gosh, Long Duk Dong, ‘no more yanky my wanky,’ awesome!!” Good for Kaz that he’s not too proud to admit it.

Also “Playdowns (Next Year For Sure)” made me laugh out loud.
Ari
July 24th, 2009 at 12:04 am [Reply]

God help me, but the second panel of Gil Thorp got a chuckle out of me.
Dingo
July 24th, 2009 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Baka Gaijin and others, the Rolando Merida story about the circus that I promised you starts here (NSFW). There are, in all, about forty images. You can scroll through Danny Ella, uma vida to find the entire story. The site is in Brazilian Portuguese but it’ll be easy to spot the circus story images. Enjoy!

Postagens mais recentes moves you forward in time. Postagens mais antigas moves you backward.
fdtutf
July 24th, 2009 at 12:18 am [Reply]

93. bats :[ : So can a boy. ;) I had the same thought, and was keenly disappointed.

I just saw a reference to the Ezekiel passage earlier today (before I originally posted), and it just fit so well here. Apparently we kind of glossed over that particular chapter in Southern Baptist Sunday school.
bats :[
July 24th, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

Yay, Gold-Digging Nanny!

And now, TGIFunnies!

CS: oh, crap. Why would I think anything more optimistic, though?

FC: oh, shut up, Billy, you obnoxious little asswipe.

MW: okay, so Delilah is probably a dink first-class (then again, how can you grow up normally with a name like Delilah?), but Lawrence just strikes me as a butthole, not unlike Assanthony. “I have no wiiiiiiiife!”
mollificent
July 24th, 2009 at 12:23 am [Reply]

#71 crazyjerseygirl re MT: Oh crap…that dude just totally torched my mom’s car!

#162 Wig: My thoughts exactly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AguVSw_6l0k
Poteet
July 24th, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

7/24 MT — My gawd, they’re supposed to be ruffed grouse. For the past two days, I’ve been trying to figure out what in the name of Zeus those bilious blue birds shown on 7/21 could possibly be. And now they’re back, and their hideous miscoloring is clear.

I wonder now if the color monkeys are imprisoned and are trying to signal us somehow.
Poteet
July 24th, 2009 at 12:28 am [Reply]

7/24 MW — Charley, you are so in. Congratulations!
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

Meddle House Only Picasso could love Delilah’s face today. Holy SHIT but that image was approached by no less than four different directions!
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]

Margo 3-G To which Margo replies, “Yeah, let’s see how fast you can get when my foot is up your ass!”
Kit Walker, Tattoo Ranger I saw a Mythbusters episode where they tried to see if a superhero could actually leave an indentation brand on someone’s face, and they decided that the force needed would actually shatter the bone underneath the skin before it would leave a mark deep enough to last like that.
Unless, of course, Kit uses my ancient Aunt Hattie’s Blood Red lipstick and stencils the skull on. I thought I would NEVER get that shit scrubbed off my cheek when I was a kid, once Aunt Hattie branded me hello.
Poteet
July 24th, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]

7/24

A3G — Any bets on whether Young Lama will survive this conversation?

MY CAGE — Last I heard, half the pregnancies in this country are still unplanned, so I can’t be as concerned by this approach to childbearing as I probably should be. At least they did give it a little advance thought.

S-M — Face it, Mugger. Wolverine’s is longer and harder than yours. Crawl away weeping.
Farley's Revenge
July 24th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

#99 GDN: Yay on the new job!

#132Muffaroo: The obscure reference may be “How Then, Shall We Live” by Wayne Muller or perhaps “How Should We Then Live” by Francis A. Schaeffer.

The former is closer to the article title but I immediately thought of Schaeffer’s book.

Thus ends my offering for “Trivia Nugget for the Day”.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 12:45 am [Reply]

C’haft I sort of feel sorry for Crankshaft in all his feeble, ancient glory today, what with getting rained on in the middle of his memories and all. But then i remember the hard-headed, smart-assed bad-tempered old fucker that he is in the middle panel, and then I revert to thinking he’s lucky he wasn’t shot by any one of the people he’s pissed off over the years.

At any rate, Batiuk, you need to put your pencil down and back away. All the story writing in the world is not going to change the past, no matter how hard you try. Go grieve and come back when you’re ready to write something that isn’t toxic to the FUNNY PAGES.
commodorejohn
July 24th, 2009 at 12:46 am [Reply]

#175 Sheila Sternwell – Aw, you flatter me…

#177 Silruin – I think the concern is more that they might wear down whatever gnarly, malformed sausages Nature has given them in the way of fingers. They’re not as bad-off as the denizens of Dick Tracy, but still…
boojum
July 24th, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

The mighty Wittenburg Door (yes, they know it’s spelled wrong) is still around. My favorite cover was “Can Penicillin Cure VBS?” The jury is still out on that one.

Recent articles include “Image of Virgin Mary found on back of Grand Theft Auto” and, of course, “Anglican Steel Cage Death Match Might Be Postponed.” More info can be found… at wittenburgdoor.com.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Children of the Circle You know, it’s days like this that are just tailor-made for treatment by Dean Booth, bats:[ or Red Greenback, or someone equally Photoshop-snark talented.

S4th Is that curly-haired girl in panel one sporting a mustache?

Scenes from Suburban Hell What Chip needs is to look through the Curmudgeon archives and find some of those wonderful song parody classics!
boojum
July 24th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Also, somebody should totally translate that banner behind Kaz’s head. I bet it’s awesome!!

What?
Carly
July 24th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

Does Coach Kaz have a tattoo there? And did the entire strip strike anyone as funny?

Also, I had NO CLUE Tracy had a kid. Or a female companion (wife/girlfriend/ex-wife/what have you). I guess I assumed that all the time spent killing people violently didn’t leave him time for dating.
Red Greenback
July 24th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

Dick Tracy’s daughter is GAIL MARTIN ?!
Poteet
July 24th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

9CL — Apparently the pastures in New England are really different than the ones here. And I’m glad I live here.

DILBERT — Is it possible that the intended word was “hurtling”?
Baka Gaijin
July 24th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: The potential for snark is great on ths one.

Pluggers: Again I call shenanigans! Pluggers can’t outlive their children due to their low exercise, high fat lifestyles with a generous helping of inhaling toxic fumes from their ancient but not antique cars and trucks.

Red and Rover: Sure, blame it on the dog. It’s not like he can’t defend himself against “The Fart Defense.”

Rose is Rose: Where are the sunshine and rainbows and green clovers and blue diamonds now, putz.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 1:37 am [Reply]

#199 Red Greenback – RED! haven’t seen you in a dog’s age, man! Or maybe I’ve been lax in attentiveness.
Julius
July 24th, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

I haven’t ready all the comments, so sorry if this was already covered, but: Are we really supposed to believe that Dolly (or any of the Keane children, for that matter) know how to say “ampersand”?

I don’t buy it.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

#202 Me – make that, I haven’t seen your comic parodies in a dog’s age, hint hint.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

3203 Julius – No, we’re supposed to believe that Dolly didn’t actually say, “What the fuck are they talking about, Mama?” and getting her mouth washed out with a bar of Irish Spring.
OMJulie
July 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

I’ve gotta agree with #96 Old School Allie Cat and #108 commodorejohn re: Batiuk. Not only is Doonesbury a fantastic example of dealing with a difficult topic realistically in his various PTSD storylines (during the BD-has-PTSD arc he even touched upon the issue of rape in the military), but Trudeau actually manages to inject some humor into his believable tragedy without resorting to lame puns. Take, for example, today’s cartoon – or yesterday’s, for a more direct example. I can only assume that this is why so many people responded so emotionally to BD being seen without his helmet, while most of us just rolled our eyes (or recoiled in disgust) at the sight of Crankshaft without his trademark cap on Monday. I have a certain morbid fascination with Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean, and I’ll admit the Lisa story very nearly made me cry on more than one occasion. In fact, at times I even enjoy the strip quite a bit. But so often it feels like the efforts of a deeply depressed man to exorcise his demons via his artistic creations, rather than a genuine effort to address challenging topics in a previously unexplored forum. Like True Fable (#193), I’m sorry that Batiuk is grieving, but if that’s the case, then he needs to take a break. Dealing with it publicly doesn’t seem to be good for anyone.

On a separate note, I’ve been trying to come up with something witty to say about Gil Thorp, but all I can come up with is COACH KAZ!!! COACH KAZ IS ON THE CASE!!!!! WOOOO!!!
Red Greenback
July 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

202 and 204: TRUMAN! Hey bruhthuh, I have been here the whole time. Anyway, per your request, I must say I am baffled by today’s Children o’ the Circle, but in the meantime, I’ve had this one laying around for a while.
Steve the Pocket
July 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane: I’ve finally put my finger on why this storyline has been creeping me out lately… beside the obvious. What is this nun doing way out in the middle of nowhere like this, and why does she see fit to randomly boss people around? I get an uncomfortable feeling Brooke’s answer to this, were anyone to ask, would be “Because she’s a nun, and that’s what they do.” Bonus awkwardpoints if he replaces “nun” with “Catholic.”

Crankshaft: OK, that nurse is just out of her everloving head. Dragging a perpetually-comatose man out to a baseball game and then just letting him sit there getting rained on. There’s almost something surreal about all this whole storyline that’s giving me reason to suspect it’s not really happening… again, besides the obvious.

Doonesbury: Well, I think we can put any fears of TrailerMom getting pissed at them for having sex to rest, at least. Good thing, too; they’ve got their conversational plate pretty full as it is.

Hi and Lois: Too, too, TOO runamuccing easy.

Pearls before Swine: Wow, this is going to be really obscure for a lot of readers. What are the odds of a paper carrying all three of these not-all-that-popular strips at once?

Wizard of Id: King Wossname is jealous of God. That’s quite an ego. Actually it’s perfectly in character for him too, so I guess that makes this one of the better strips.
True Fable
July 24th, 2009 at 2:40 am [Reply]

#207 Red Greenback – I slowed down and read through the whole thread and saw your earlier posts. Durrr on me. :P See, that’s what I get for skimming a thread instead of my usual read through every. single. post. Yeeeeeeaaaahh Won’t get fooled again!

As for your Children of the Circle art – HA!! yes, it was only a matter of time before Bil lost it and started talking to the walls. The kids do it all the time and calll it “Not Me”, so why shouldn’t Bil?
Mibbitmaker
July 24th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

New Ones (and I don’t care what the entire population thinks about it, I love the new PBS strip and that kinda humor in general (stoopid Arrested Development killing, Sam’s Strip killing public!)):

666CL: Wow, she handily perverted an obnoxious, puritanical nun semi-stereotype! That gal’s got the power.

A3G: Oh, shut the fuck up and tell ‘er what happened to Eric!! Yeesh! (Oh, by the way, you’re welcome, Margo)

DtM: AHA! I think we’ve just discovered the culprit behind the Gil Thorp harasser! Very sloppy, kid. The motive? Dennis doesn’t get to be a real menace in his own strip, so he enacts revenge by menacing other strips. (Oh, btw, you’re welcome, Coach Kaz)

MW: “Oh, that’s it! I’m gonna contact the hell outta you now, Mister!”

MC: “Curb yourself”. Brilliant, Ed and/or Melissa!

Ghost-Who-Ouch-That’s-Gonna-Leave-A-Mark: Sean Penn in the Assassins’ Lair? Somehow, that fits. Maybe he’s trying to assassinate Richard Nixon. (Never saw that movie, but the reference was too perfect)

PCity: Stress makes one more squiggly than usual.
lunarhalo
July 24th, 2009 at 5:21 am [Reply]

I can’t believe Kaz keeps letting “Gil’s balls” fly past him without taking a double entendre swing at them.
C’mon man:

“Made any progress today Babe?”
“Big Time, Princess Leia. No professional has ever touched Gil’s balls.”

It’s fucking T-ball, dude.

When Coach Kaz is feeling “gumshoey”
his fashion sense goes a bit screwy.
His cunning disguise
is Magnum P.I.’s
and his furnishings are Hong Kong Phooey’s.
Frank Parsnip
July 24th, 2009 at 6:28 am [Reply]

Pluggers: How does this work as a joke? I mean, given the enormously fat junk-food devouring manimals normally portrayed, now suddenly “pluggers” are exceptionally long-lived? Audrey Freed, you have broken the compact that holds this comic together.

A3G: All that circumlocution by these exiled Tibetan monks is only increasing Margo’s rage, and once you set her off you can bet that by the time it’s done the Chinese government will be awarding her a medal and building a statue in her honor.

MT: He burns the car because it has his fingerprints on it, but now he’s going to run about the forest and mountains with the rifle that is pretty much the only thing really pegging him to the botched shooting of Joey Williams.

MW: The insult of having Lawrence hang up on her has put Delilah’s mouth, eyes and facial bones on different planes from each other. It took Lawrence years to get used to her cubist tantrums.

Funky Pantysniffer: While I’m not sure if the people in the first two panels are the Winkerbeans, the Dinkles or perhaps some random junoesque Botero models, apparently Cindy has already been arrested in Iraq for trying to break into the hush-hush prisoner swap with a fricking television camera.

Spider-Man: Lamest rejoinder ever from a knife-wielding pickpocket who targets the wallets of bums sleeping in parks: “I’ve fought tougher guys than you!” What, like there was some guy he’s fought who had frickin’ chainsaws and lasers popping out of the middle of his biceps?!? Cherry Darling from Tarantino’s “Grindhouse” movie? I’d really like to know what tops having sharp blades spring out of your opponents fricking knuckles.

Beetle Bailey: Plato should not trust Cosmo with his money — anyone who doesn’t notice that his display case filled with three lipsticks, three fake moustaches, four packs of cigarettes and three books have utterly disappeared might not be a good businessman.

Jugs Parker: Frankie D’Vito has a lot of influence at the Capital, specifically appellate judges apparently. Welcome to Sin City.

FC: Billy and Jeff hunker down on the windowseat to watch the gators that have taken over their front lawn. The end days are upon us!
Guinness Elbe
July 24th, 2009 at 7:44 am [Reply]

De-lurking for translation:

#98 Scott S.:
“Here’s where the clown fires into the air and a surprise falls out of the sky”, translated literally, would be “Hier ist es, wo der Clown in die Luft feuert und eine Überraschung aus dem Himmel fällt.” Less stilted, but also odd-sounding: “Hier schießt (schießt=feuert) der Clown in die Luft und eine Überraschung fällt vom (vom=aus dem) Himmel.”

Babelfish’s “Clownfeuer” translates to “clownfire”.

But that doesn’t explain why the ringmaster is wearing a radish attached to his ponytail.

Also Dick Tracy-related: I discovered the other day that Dick Tracy, i.e. characters from the strip, are mentioned in Umberto Eco’s “On Ugliness”. Couldn’t find Crock or Ziggy in the book, though.
Vince M
July 24th, 2009 at 8:14 am [Reply]

213: And what unholy set of circumstances would ever require coining a word like ‘clownfire’?!?
Guinness Elbe
July 24th, 2009 at 8:50 am [Reply]

214: I have no idea, it was babelfish’s suggestion, after all… Perhaps the storyline in DT will make the usage of this hitherto nonexisting word necessary.
Katya
July 24th, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Re: #213:

Just for everyone’s general edification, and to clear up any confusion, since not everybody speaks German:

In the second translation of the sentence, at the point where the word appears to English speakers suddenly and for no apparent reason to have what looks more or less like a capital “b,” I just wanted to let everyone know that in German, that symbol (I’ve forgotten what it’s called) is the equivalent of two “s’s.”

So it would not be pronounced “schiebt,” but “schiesst.”
Scott S.
July 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Glad to see others were as interested in the translation as I was.

Now, if someone could only put the German on a t-shirt, possibly with the pic of the clown holding a gun, I think I’d be inclined to buy it, haha.
idathefossil
July 24th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Until coaches Thorp and Kaz learn there’s no difference in baseballs used in high school and the Major Leagues, they’ll never be able to completely fool the world into not realizing they’re advance scouts for an invading alien force. Or just incredibly stupid. Whichever is most plausible.
walty
July 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

Coach Kaz’s tattoo can be only one of two things: A badass tribal skull as protection from wayward fly balls, or (most likely) he had been practicing his K’s in script one night, came up with one to rival the skills of even the most talented calligrapher in Milford High’s penmanship club, decided to celebrate with a few too many wine coolers, and woke up with a beautifully etched “the KAZ” on his left bicep.
Bryan
July 24th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: I had thought that thing on Kaz’s wall was a reproduction gold record he picked up at Hard Rock Cafe: Bridgeport and thought was awesome while everyone else thought it was stupid.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2009 at 3:18 am [Reply]

The creator of Mark Trail, in what appears to be an move designed to generate the appropriate level of hatred for the current villain, appears to have dressed him in a Garfield costume (can’t you see it?)
Anonymous
July 25th, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Turn the cake pan over to get the Ziggy shape, genius. Once again you’re too quick to criticize , Lord Josh.
Chris
July 25th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

The Ziggy cake pan instructions (!) http://www.wilton.com/downloads/paninstructions/2105-5053Ziggy.pdf indicate that Ziggy should have a “brown pipe” in his mouth. Uh huh…

(Yes, I’m reading it wrong.)
HsvsRsvsesv
September 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

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