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It’s like Snuffy Smith, without even attempted humor

Mark Trail, 12/9-10/05

I never would have pegged Jack Elrod as part of the chardonnay-swilling liberal real-American-hating elite, what with his love of the outdoors and camping and hatred of swarthy people with facial hair. Still, this latest plotline has managed to indulge in just about every vicious stereotype about the proud, overall-wearing rural folk that make up the moral backbone of this great country: that they’re stupid, they’re lazy, they wear overalls all the time, they’re by and large hideously unattractive (except for the young womenfolk), they refuse to give up pet-napping for honest work, etc. Just about the only slander that we’ve avoided has been the one about incest and sexual depravity … until now. Yuck. Thanks, Mark Trail, thanks a lot. Still, I have to admit that I like the wordless tableau in the last panel of the second strip: Andy the hero dog valiantly comes to the aid of our blue-haired heroine, with Scrawny Hillbilly Dude stumbling backwards, his dumb hat falling off of his stupid head. Meanwhile, No-Neck Hillbilly Dude is lumbering into action in the background, afraid that his dreams of “over a thousand bucks!” are going to vanish in a fit of intrafamilial squabbling.

Meanwhile, Sunday’s nature lesson takes us to chilly Arctic:

Mark Trail, 12/11/05

Yes, I’m sure that, when choosing the beasts that would pull his sleigh, Santa gave careful consideration to reindeer’s endurance, their special heat-spreading circulatory system, their “unique hair” … and also the fact that they can goddamn fly. Sheesh, Mark, for a naturalist, you’re sure leaving out some important details.

103 responses to “It’s like Snuffy Smith, without even attempted humor”

  1. Uncle Lumpy
    December 11th, 2005 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Um, doesn’t raising the temperature of the venous blood, you know, COOL THE ARTERIAL BLOOD? And how does this help the body?

    That, and the flying thing.

  2. Mumblix Grumph
    December 11th, 2005 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    What the hell is up with the come-hither ASS SHOT of the reindeer? Did Santa pick them because he loves that view?

    I, myself, prefer a big rack, if ya know what I mean.

  3. Lor
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Mumblix, I think Santa has a wicked sense of humor and chose reindeer because they like to moon people.

    That, and the flying thing.

  4. mooselet
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    Santa clearly chose reindeer because they are buoyant. If he has to ditch over the ocean, the reindeer can keep his fat-ass afloat. That, and the flying thing.

  5. Robert Flaxman
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty bothered by the ass shot there. Does Elrod have these animals in a studio, instructing them to “look sexy” as he sketches away?

  6. weiser
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Although “both sexes have antlers” I’m pretty sure Santa employes only males. The sultry eyes of the Reindeer pictured Sunday may give the original 8 some competition in Santa’s book, if ya know what I mean.

  7. Zzedar
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Gak! Have you seen Zits today? What… what… gah!

  8. Jay Nickola
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    If reindeer are reported in your vicinity, turn on your NOAA radio and AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

  9. Leo
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    Apparently Zits has done away with pretense and is now just completely about pointy sagboobs.

  10. Kaliflower
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    With today’s strip the creator’s of Zits have to be taking the piss. I can only assume that they read this blog, have seen how weirded out by Mama Zits’ boobs we’ve been and have subsequently said, ‘You think those are weird boobs? I’ll show you weird boobs!’

    I hope that’s it because the alternative is just too weird to imagine…

    Meanwhile, in Spider-Man, Peter demonstrates his incredible quick thinking. Open the bag? Oh shit… um… Come on Peter… think of an excuse… What will make her less suspicious? What if I refuse to open it? Hey… smart thinking!

    Finally, over at Mary Worth, Ms. Hand gets a major, and seemingly uncalled for, burn from her co-worker.

  11. tommy
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    goddamn fly…

  12. Dub Not Dubya
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    Our blue-haired heroine in Mark Trail now magically has brown hair. I’m guessing they were running out of electric blue ink from having to color all those overalls.

  13. Dub Not Dubya
    December 12th, 2005 at 5:24 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Mary Worth was just begging me for some Photoshop. I think I could have done better with the dialogue, but I think it’s not too bad. Here’s the link:

  14. Lydia
    December 12th, 2005 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    So they switched from oddly pointy boobs to round, floppy ones. Not much of an improvement there.

  15. Robert Canipe, PhD
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    I cannot keep my eyes off the girl in the “Git Sum Clothing” ad long enough to think about mama Zit’s boobs.
    Lord love a healthy set of lungs. I sound like my jock students.

  16. Islamorada Girl
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    Whoo Hoo! I’m CPOW! I’d like to thank Josh and the Cards and my life coach and my personal trainer and my hairdresser and my doula and . . .

    Why does MT Hillbilly Girl suddenly have this horrible beige hair? Did contact with Andy the Wonder Dog release her inner Jessica Simpson? Does Elrod gain inspiration from Dick Cheney’s Big Book of Stereotypes?

  17. Len
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    #11 – From the way she was inked, it’s obvious that our hillbilly heroine was intended to have brown hair. A dark brunette would have had most of her locks inked black, and the colorists would have colored the highlights electric blue. (it’s an old comics convention that brunettes have blue highlights to their hair.)

    Meanwhile, in Monday’s One Big Happy, I enjoyed this Christmas-themed observation:

  18. Len
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    #16 – I think this link will work better…

    #9, etc. – Poor Jeremy is totally confused about what causes teenaged growth spurts. He wants to add weight (which might not make him any taller); or he wants to defeat gravity (as if gravity were keeping him short). Send this boy to Popeye for some spinach! Meanwhile, Momma Zits is hoping inverting gravity will keep her boobs from sagging (despite their being dangerously too sharp in earlier portrayals). Try plastic surgery, Connie!

  19. GotFuzzy
    December 12th, 2005 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    Upon seeing the deeply disturbing boob effect in today’s Zits, I immediately wondered what the discussion would be here. I like Kaliflower’s take on it.

    Onto other physiological oddities, yet another awkward arm position from our friends at (DT)GT. Kenya’s mom must be triple-jointed to get that much range of motion and flexibility. Kenya may be similarly gifted, but our goody-goody Sean will never even think about trying to find out.

  20. GotFuzzy
    December 12th, 2005 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    Oh, and ick to the delightful quasi-incest storyline and the soft-core porn reindeer in MT.

    And yeah, that flying thing.

  21. Zorba the Geek
    December 12th, 2005 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Hey, Isla, congrats on COTW! You go, Girl!

  22. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy: The exchange of heat from arteries to veins in the legs means that less heat will be lost in the legs, retaining more for the body core where it’s most needed. The cost of this is, of course, very cold feet.

  23. Sheila
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I don’t get today’s MW. Okay, so the man made VP. This is relevant how? (1) His ex is kicking herself because a workaholic VP husband would have been soooo much more tolerable than a workaholic manager? (Higher salary?) (2) Or she thinks he’ll relax now that he’s “made” it, and stop being a workaholic — so if only she’d stayed the course, he would have “changed”? (She knows for a fact that he never wants to be CEO?) (3) Or she’s just chagrined because the divorce didn’t slow his trajectory one bit? What?

    And man, that divorce sure came through fast — one minute she’s agonizing about whether she’s doing the right thing, and the next minute the divorce seems to have been months ago. What’s up in Mary Worth Land? I thought time was supposed to go v-e-r-r-r-r-r-y slo-o-o-o-o-o-wly…

  24. yellojkt
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    I think comics writers are deliberately trying to keep our libido in check. Nothing will deflate you like the thought of Zits-mom hanging like a bat nearly blinded by her knee length knockers.

    And speaking of fat asses from up north, Mark Trail’s reindeer have nothing on this morning’s moonshot of Elly in FBOFW today.

    Which segues into my blog-plug of the month which features a nearly nekkid April. Check it out before the foob lawyers make me take it down. But wait, I got it from their site. I guess they can’t complain then.

  25. laska
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Can someone tell me how long I’ve been in a coma? I read the “months after Jane and Josh’s divorce” box and realized I’ve missed out on years. Dang, probably the best years of my life, too.

  26. Jimmy
    December 12th, 2005 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    MW telescoped MONTHS into the future… check it out 12 / 12… !

  27. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    December 12th, 2005 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    I thought so myself…until I came across this little tidbit: “According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and
    female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
    Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

    Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.”

  28. ISBN
    December 12th, 2005 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MT: What’s going on with Mark’s dog in cell 3? He looks like he’s about to vomit.

    Zits: Good. god. That is so upsetting. I’ve never been very pro-plastic surgery but… Mama Zits is making me change that stance.

  29. Barry
    December 12th, 2005 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Not to get off-topic, but is it more or have there been a ton of marijuana references in B.C. lately? I should brace this statement with two things:
    1: I know Johnny Hart is losing his mind.
    2: There’s actually been two over the last week and a half, which doesn’t quite qualify as a ton, but it’s above average at any rate.


    I can’t find the previous one in their archives, but believe me, it was stonerific.

  30. Isaac
    December 12th, 2005 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Ugh… Zits just defies belief. I believe that there is always a hidden panetl after the punchline, and today, it’s Jeremy’s dad walking in.

  31. Dennis Jimenez
    December 12th, 2005 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    MT – 12.12.2005

    Don’t it make my blue hair,
    Don’t it make my blue hair,
    Don’t it make my blue hair brown

    Lyric – Canine Love Call

  32. mop
    December 12th, 2005 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Holy crap, was Zits disturbing today! I think I’ll punch myself until that image is out of my mind. I actually want the pointy boobs back with the bad sweater.

  33. Smitty Smedlap
    December 12th, 2005 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Yes, I was disturbed by Mamma Zits’ flooping flapjacks this morning — but I think today’s Dennis the Menace bothered me even more.

  34. Bigfoot
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    We need to protect the children of the world from sagging pancake breasts, horny stepbrothers, and old men lathering themselves in the bath. Keep your children from the comics pages for their own wellbeing!

  35. Tacy
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    That Dennis the Menace cartoon reminded me of Blondie in years past. Elmo often appeared in the Bumstead’s bathroom with Dagwood in the tub.

  36. Archivalist
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    I love the background in the first two MT sets. It’s got that green-to-white then green-to-yellow fade that I remember fondly from that old Star Trek meets the OK Corral episode. Thanks, Elrod!

  37. Nom du Jour
    December 12th, 2005 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Elmo often appeared in the Bumstead’s bathroom with Dagwood in the tub.

    Although Dagwood dreamed of that happening, Elmo never once got in the tub.

  38. Concerned Citizen
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Mama Zits is right to be concerned about her penciltittedness (despite some recent fullness). Is it mere coincidence that Jeremy’s portly buddy bears a striking resemblence to Papa Zits? I think not. Ms. Zits has to work overtime to keep the old man on the straight and narrow, so to speak.

  39. Nom du Jour
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Mama Zits is right to be concerned about her penciltittedness (despite some recent fullness).

    She is working hard to maintain her MILF standing in the community.

  40. Irina
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:32 pm [Reply]


    Wow. I’d never thought of that.

    That’s way creepy.

    And pretty funny … Walt, you old dog you, gettin’ some latina booty on the side!

  41. Irina
    December 12th, 2005 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    No wonder sis is being attacked! She keeps changing from a long sleeved to a short sleeved shirt every other panel!

    Showing those fine boobies to her poor depraved stepbrother … she must be askin’ fer it.

    I figure she’s just spending plenty of time hanging upside down to keep them that bouyant.

  42. Concerned Citizen
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    #28 – Not only that but he’s apparently altering the space-time continuum, note the ripple effect on the matter behind him. Would make me a bit sick, too.

  43. Mark
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Mmm… floppy titties… soo sexy. But any arousal I might have gotten from her quasi-human breasts was immediately negated by a certain semi-nude Canadian girl.

    That and the flying thing.

  44. Finrod
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Other reference in B.C.

  45. Mark
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Makes me wonder if Johnny Hart has been gettin on the ganja train himself lately.

  46. AK_Teacher
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Oh my gosh, I’ve been a lurker for about 6 months and was always too intimidated to post, you guys are way too clever. But finally something I can comment on! I just moved from Nome to Juneau and can say that Mark Trail is wrong! There are about 50,000 wild reindeer in Alaska. And last time I checked, we are sill part of North America!

  47. Mark
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Unless the reindeers’ buoyancy allows them to swim (or fly, I suppose) across the Bering Strait from Russia.

  48. DRiLl
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    What about the hairball that St. Bernard looks like he’s coughing up in the last panel of the first run? What kind of seizure is he having?

  49. Dennis Jimenez
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Poor Andy is just coming off his PCP hangover!

  50. Mark
    December 12th, 2005 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    That is NOT Plaster of Paris.

  51. Isaac
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Arghhh. Didn’t even see Dennis the Menace [or, as I like to call him, Dense the Menace]. Mr. Wilson and Mama Zits are made for each other.

  52. stavner
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    One problem: _Santa doesn’t exist_, you dummies!

  53. joeyjoejoe
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty MT has a completely different artist today. Take a look at the detail in Lucy’s face today compared with Thursday. She looks like Mark with a blue helmet on in the latter, but the most recent incarnation smacks of the kind of care Jack normally reserves for our four legged friends.

  54. joeyjoejoe
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure, that is…

  55. Wren Wah
    December 12th, 2005 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Ok, the MT storyline promulgates an insulting stereotype, but having Lucy around almost makes up for RMMD’s Penny mysteriously disappearing after only a few cameo panels. After all, it is necessary to maintain a certain minimum quantity of rural CILFs around. Daisy Mae can’t carry the whole load by herself.

  56. Marc
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Zits makes me want to poke my eyes out with Connie’s pointy, saggy boobs..I have been blinded..How am I typing this? ha

  57. Marc
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Borgman and Scott had to have read this blog…how else could they have come upon such a subject? Kaliflower has to be correct to some degree.

  58. Lauffly
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    WAHHHHHHHH more weird boobs from Zits…I thought the other one where they were all pointy was disturbing, but this…it defies not only gravity, but also words!

  59. Marc
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Jane Hand, need some aloe for that burn?

    I have devised a list of the pros and cons of Jane and Josh Hand from MW getting back together

    1) Live together again…’nuff said.
    2) Enjoy his even larger six figure job.
    3) Make that busy body-MWIT (Mary Worth In-Training) shut up for once about their “horrific divorce.

    1) Joshy has a potential girlfriend with short-dykish hair. Although, you can always kill her off, like Ritzilla.
    2) Josh may turn her down, seeing as Jane started this whole fiasco.
    3) If Jane writes back to Wendy that she got back together, we will have to endure another 4 weeks of one-handed 40-key computer keyboards, and WASP arguements.

    You be the judge. Should they get back together?

  60. prepressmonkey
    December 12th, 2005 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    “Ugh… Zits just defies belief.”
    And when you flip it upside down, the horror just grows…

    “I believe that there is always a hidden panel after the punchline, and today, it’s Jeremy’s dad walking in.”
    And the panel after that, Jeremey’s dad hanging on the bar upside down.


    And if you have the constitution to imagine the panel after that, you are a better man than I, Gunga Din.

  61. 'Anon'
    December 12th, 2005 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Great Momma Zits’ t!ts! Dennis the Menace is into fat old hairy men. And Mr. ‘Darb’ Conley got away with saying “nut sack” in the funny pages. And April’s dancing around in her panties on the FoobNet.

    I am wondering now about tomorrow’s funnies. What will Drabble be wearing? What will those strange sounds be coming through little Billy’s walls tomorrow night


  62. Sassy_Rocks
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    The Sunday sermon according to Mark Trail is often way less than factual despite it’s gospel-like tone. The Monday-Saturday soap opera portion isn’t necessarily too accurate either. In the fish stuffing drug dealer episode Mark Trail kept waiting for the tide to come in so he could walk to shore from the oyster bar. This bassackwardness actually continued for several days.

  63. Sassy_Rocks
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Nice COTW Islamadoora Girl. It reminds me of Waldheimer’s disease – when you forget you used to be a nazi.

  64. Some Guy Here
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    You know it’s strange, but today’s stupid little and boring (in other words, nothing new) Mark Trail actually proved very useful and helpful to me in a big way.

  65. Len
    December 12th, 2005 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    #53 — With Thursday’s artist, she resembles Mark wearing a blue helmet, yes… and a LOT of mascara and eyeliner! (Bleah!)

  66. bubujin
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    Ah, Zits, you’re a complete suspension of disbelief!

  67. 2fs
    December 12th, 2005 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to thank you all: you’ve helped me deal with the trauma of Connie’s inverted sagging boobs. Just in time to be traumatized by Elrod’s apparent fondness for reindeer games.

  68. Len
    December 13th, 2005 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    Tuesday’s Dennis isn’t a great punchline. But significant in that Joey flashes a glimpse of butt-crack. A sign that he wants to be a plumber when he grows up? Or was he jealous of the attention the reindeer was getting in Mark Trail?

  69. walt
    December 13th, 2005 at 4:06 am [Reply]


    ain’t pot, Laddie.

  70. Woodrowfan
    December 13th, 2005 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Mama Zits Tits don’t bother me as much as the “come hither” look that Reindeer is throwing off.

  71. luluchappel
    December 13th, 2005 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    So if the chick in MT knows what Andy’s name is, and who he belongs to, why is she not reporting to the sheriff that her pa & stepbrother stole MT’s pet?

  72. Smitty Smedlap
    December 13th, 2005 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Inspired by Hooty McBoobely over there on the left side of this page, the reindeer is inviting one and all to “Git Sum.”

  73. csr
    December 13th, 2005 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    luluchappel: Daisy Duke has ‘special’ plans of her own for Andy.

  74. joeypants
    December 13th, 2005 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Good thing the Jack Elrond bubble is there to protect her in the fifth panel. He’ll never get by!

  75. Lor
    December 13th, 2005 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    #70: I knew there was something wrong with that reindeer. Besides the exhibitionism, that is.

    In other news, it’s a red letter day! Pearls Before Swine is hilarious.

  76. mop
    December 13th, 2005 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    I totally forgot about the nut sack Get Fuzzy got away with! That was hysterical.

  77. BigJoe
    December 13th, 2005 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    DTGT: Yesterday’s strip was quite revealing. It explains a lot about that weird looking cheerleader Kenya (was that “her” name?). Not sure if this version was printed in everyone’s paper, it may have been edited for family viewing:

  78. Lor
    December 13th, 2005 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Ewww! Chef Tellitall’s repellent little chihuahua is drinking tears off his face! Brenda Starr, how could you do this to us?

    Talk about a banner week for stomach-churning comics.

    To make it worse, I was thinking about what will happen when Mrs. Zits has hung upside down long enough. If her boobs sag when she’s right side up, and they’ve gotten all stretched on top, won’t they just start to stretch the other way now? Soon they’ll droop down to her ankles.

    Ha! I just ruined your lunch!

  79. rich
    December 13th, 2005 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    24 – Thanks for the links, Yellojkt! Topless toddler April might just be the most disturbing thing I’ve seen online, and that’s saying something. (Though it’s good to know that in the future, anyone horny dude who Googles “topless toddler April” will be able to score a direct hit.)

  80. rich
    December 13th, 2005 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I meant “any horny dude”…Preview, Rich, preview!

  81. gershwin
    December 13th, 2005 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    walt says:

    December 13th, 2005 at 4:06 am

    ain’t pot, Laddie.

    Aye, and if I’m Scottish, how’m I s’posed to know that? (And if it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!)

  82. BigJoe
    December 13th, 2005 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    DTGT – Okay, in today’s strip a supposedly championship caliber varsity team has to practice chest and bounce passes? And what’s the deal in the third panel? Why is a basketball orbiting that girl who invaded the boy’s practice?

  83. Woodrowfan
    December 13th, 2005 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Yep, that reindeer is clearly a little tart. How typical of Mark Trail to promote ungulate porn! There’s more self-licking in the average Mark Trail than in the entire collection of “Oral Frenzy” videos…

  84. Len
    December 13th, 2005 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    #75 — Orcas eat pizza? (You can recognize “killer” whales by their sideburns!) More predators moving in? There goes the neighborhood!

    #82 — Evidently the blonde is catching and bouncing back the ball with the hand that grows out of her back?

    #83 — Is there a link to an image of Mark Trail licking himself? Talented man! I thought that’s what friends (or Andy the dog) were for…

  85. Kaliflower
    December 13th, 2005 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I have a prediction for Spider-Man: The security gaurd will mock Peter for pretending he’s Spider-Man and all will be well. Because that’s what always happens. I find it very difficult to care even remotely about Peter, or any superhero for that matter, protecting their secret identity, and that seems to be all Spider-Man has been about lately. For Christ’s sake can we get back to some butt-kicking anytime soon?

  86. Sassy_Rocks
    December 13th, 2005 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    “I haven’t met another man that measured up to Josh before or after our divorce”. That implies that Jane was fooling around on the side before they got divorced but dude didn’t “measure” up to Josh “Long Dong” Hand. I wonder if that’s what those transparent divorce pigeons were trying to tell her…

    Jane’s meddling busy-body secretary looks Dawn Weston kinda butt ugly viewed in profile.

  87. Marc
    December 13th, 2005 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    I like how the secretary whose name will still do not know (?) tried to hook Jane up already!

    AND LOOK!! I forgot to say yesterday, that I was surprised that there seems to be a sense of time moving forward in MW! “Several Months Later” in that white ominous box..

    It is me, or in yesterday’s MW, does lamp in the background look similar to the leg lamp from “A Christmas Story?” Similar, not same, otherwise Janey has some secrets..

  88. rich
    December 13th, 2005 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    61, etc.: Funny – in my paper they changed Monday’s “We’ll turn you into a nutsack” to “We’ll turn you into a nutcase”. Both versions exist online on various pages.

  89. Bill Peschel
    December 13th, 2005 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    I know how much y’all love the Lockhorns, so I’m sure you can’t wait to bid on three pounds of strips cut from newspapers in the ’80s and ’90s.

    Think of the children for Christmas!

  90. fuzzmaster
    December 13th, 2005 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Could someone set up an alert system to let us know when 9CL gets around to having a plot again?

  91. Isaac
    December 13th, 2005 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    “Yes, I think someone took him!”
    Notice that Mark has decided to forgo searching for Andy, and just naturally assume someone took him. Mark is getting sharp. Maybe he realizes that we went through the entire dog-napping crap earlier.

  92. laska
    December 13th, 2005 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Big Joe- You need a spew warning on that!

  93. gnome de blog
    December 13th, 2005 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Bounce passes and chest passes?

    What kind of lame staff do they have in Milthorp if the assistants can’t even run a practice without the Big Guy around?

  94. Mary Brandt
    December 13th, 2005 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    I must agree, the ass-shot plus the mention of how both sexes have antlers leads to mental scarring due to some kind of horny reindeer/caribou/reinabou presenting itself to you in its own, nonspecifically gendered way.


  95. Mibbitmaker
    December 13th, 2005 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Didn’t anyone notice the first strip at the top of the page?: Half-brother’s humping the dawg half way off panel! See the dog’s physical response? No wonder he protects half sister in the next strip. He’s probably thinking, “I let that guy ‘do’ me, but no way in HELL am I letting him attack HER like that!”

    Yeah, the sudden “family relations” subject matter in MT. Maybe “Arrested Development” creator and current Neilsen punching bag Mitch Hurwitz is ghost-writing it now. Job security and all.

    And the Sunday nature sermon. Notice all the talk about reindeer and Santa, yet nary the word “Christmas” the whole time? Josh’s right, MT really IS written by left-wing elite!

  96. Mibbitmaker
    December 13th, 2005 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Besides reindeer/caribou ass (eeewwwww!), I concur about Monday’s Zits. That cartoon character’s gonna put my gender off breasts now! So THAT’s how she’s helping the ‘sisterhood’.

    Her abscence today must be because she’s spending time in the hospital for yesterday’s little routine. I think it’ll be trouble, though… tomorrow, she comes home with SQUARE boobs!!

  97. Lor
    December 14th, 2005 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Sisters … are stretching it for themselves!!

  98. kippetje2000
    December 14th, 2005 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    mary’s worth? “Back then I loved freely and deeply…We threw caution and convenience to the wind…” Now we’d be open to any fill-in advice column hack from a small newspaper or meddlin’ oldwhite haired busybody who could help us find that convenient free love once again. So it’s probably a good thing that he’s been grounded for diabetes….

  99. Lor
    December 14th, 2005 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    Re the new guy in (DT)GT: looove that Patty Duke flip ‘do.

  100. yellojkt
    December 14th, 2005 at 8:14 am [Reply]


    Oh and that Petey carries a Spidey suit with him everywhere is the worst kept secret. ever.

  101. andrew
    December 14th, 2005 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Life Imitates Mark Trail
    No creepy incest in this story, (un)fortunately.

  102. Mark
    December 14th, 2005 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    101: And he didn’t even have the balls to ask for “over a thousand bucks”!

  103. Gordon Craft
    December 16th, 2005 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    I’m sure comics are a great way to start the learning process. How much better is the Web?

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