Doing Dick’s job for him
Dick Tracy, 11/3/09
For me, the trajectory of a Dick Tracy storyline goes something like this: first it’s interesting because it’s so hilariously wacky and surreal; then the strip refuses to in any way engage in traditional “storytelling” that “makes sense” and I get irritated and start ignoring it; then the climax, with its promise of unspeakable violence, looms, and I get interested again. In this case, obviously-guilty-from-the-beginning evil clown Mr. Pops is about to be strangled, or ripped in half, or thrown down into a tiger cage and eaten alive, by circus giant/strongman Fee Fi. While it’s true that bad guys in Dick Tracy inevitably die in agony, they generally either perish in ironic accidents while trying to escape or are killed by Dick himself. I wonder therefore about the legal issues that might arise from this act of freelance vigilantism. Or will Dick merely praise the behemoth for his perp-mangling skills? “I like the way Pops’s enormous shoes kicked in terror right before you hurled him to his death! That was a nice little flourish.”
Blondie, 11/3/09
Dagwood should not be worried about the complexity of Elmo’s sidewalk diagram here — after all, what is childhood for if not the creation of elaborate and impractical systems? No, the real issue is his concern for Dagwood’s safety. Any self-respecting American youngster ought to be over the moon with joy at the prospect of two adults running pell-mell into each other face-first and then collapsing to the sidewalk in a heap of slapstick pain. Yet Elmo is determined prevent this hilarious event from recurring. Is this the end result of a generation raised on play dates and non-violent cartoons?
Mark Trail, 11/3/09
Oh my goodness, in my recap of possible Mark Trail plot points, I completely neglected the obvious: Sassy used as gator bait! I certainly hope we continue along these lines when Rusty inevitably comes out in his pajamas to look for his mewling pup. “We may be in luck, fellows … alligators love hideous, deformed little boy meat!”
Spunde
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Fee Fi mangles Mr. Pops, Dick shoots Fee Fi. Best of both worlds.
Will
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Reposting, because I don’t want anyone to miss my pearls of wisdom.
MW: Jeff: “So what else is new?”
MT: Boy bob is dumb. How is he still alive?!
PBS: Twitter jokes are lame. I expect better of you, Pastis.
Crank: Speaking of lame, how about Ed and his malapropisms? “Inside the fanbelt!” Oh, ho, ho, ho. Call a doctor, my sides are splitting.
FW: Look at the bright side, when you’re fired, you’ll lose your insurance just in time to get cancer.
And Y49, TheDiva Ed was going for “inside the beltway.”
Muffaroo
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Dick – I can see Mr. Pops’s funeral now. Thirty-nine clowns piling out of a little hearse in the touching ‘Missing Mime’ formation.
Hägar – Lucky Eddie’s come a long way. He wanted to turn back the first thirty times they did this gag.
Mark – “THAT DOG’S A PET!”
“HOW do you know that, Bob? That collar AND tag could just BE naturally occurring markings, LIKE that crap on top of MY gimme cap.”
Marmaduke – Marmaduke is feeling bad, kid, because… you’re his friend. But he’s hungry! So he’s crying, for about ten seconds.
Marfield – “As you can see, I’m not the least bit interested in you. Now fuck off.”
Pearls – Rat’s on to something here. That Whitman contained multitudes, and contradicted himself.
Pluggers – Another attempt to force non-pluggers into pluggerdom. I have the four-inch slide rule that used to be my uncle’s, two or three ten-inch models, and an eight-footer that used to be in the physics department at the University of Houston (useful for precise calculations).
Rx – Let’s cut to the chase. A week from now, Cue will accept $35 and two tickets to the circus.
Rose – Christ, what a gumbo.
Shoe – The real dialog: “Look at them struggle! What’s their problem?”
“Mouse traps below the surface.”
Because human birds have no sympathy for bird birds. Two wings good! Two arms better! THAT is the LAW!
Muffaroo
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
MolyBendum @y19 – More information about what you don’t know about the internet can be found on the internet.
KarMann @y24 – Nice young men in the clean white coats are coming to take you away? Ha haaaaaa!
Digger
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Alligators love dog meat? Where did Sideburns Guy learn that? In all the nature shows I’ve seen on TV, I don’t ever recall seeing a gator slither out of the swamp to track down an unsuspecting cocker spaniel. Maybe the swamps of Lost Forest are inhabited by some sort of indigenous Swamp Hound. Hopefully, Mark will tell us more about Swamp Hound in an upcoming Sunday strip.
Bootsy
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Mr Sideburns in Mark Trail: Did he just get splashed by oil? Otherwise, what is that on his hat? An evil shadow?
Also, Is Fee Fi pronounced “Fee Fee” like a French poodle? Or is it “Fee Fie” as in “Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman”?
Do these things mean I need help?
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
y20: Who are you calling stupid, small mammal?
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Post-jumped, goldurnit!
11/3
A very gratifying and enriching crop of COTWs. The day starts well.
A3G: Looking at the background of panel one, it seems Condi Rice wants to be one of the “I Dressed in the Dark” contestants too. Well, she does have more time on her hands now.
MW panel 1: Scott sees that Adrian is wearing the ring. Does he know they’re engaged now, or does he think he’s in a J-horror movie? And is there a difference?
MW p2: Look, you’re Mary Worth. The “at length” part is completely unnecessary.
BB: “Sarge, baby! You’re way too hung up on this inspection. We need to find a way to relax you.” *zip*
Phantom: “Are you always this useless, old man?”
“I haven’t had my coffee.”
BC: In another context, I remember Josh saying something along the lines that “Girls Gone Wild” references had stopped being funny or relevant, and were now just offputting. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new prime example.
DT: Don’t kill him yet. He hasn’t gotten to why, where or when?
GT: As Gregory House said, all that porn on the Internet isn’t going to download itself.
Shoe: That’s not the full name of the store, but you don’t always have time to say “Unexplained and Unsettling Non-Antrhopomorphic Bird Bath and Beyond.”
OBH: That… that’s actually a pretty good question.
Garfield: “… in bed.”
RMMD: Sounds like a pretty fair exchange. 2,000 for the return of the elderly couple, 8,000 not to expose the nursing home’s collective incompetence.
SSmith: Maw brings with her the most blatantly unnecessary narration box of the day. Has she been visiting Spider-Man?
Marvin: Marvin’s wide-eyed expression can only mean he’s just met the most awesomely hung baby in day care. When he regains power of speech, his first words will be, “My God, are you related to Milton Berle?”
GA: This is the point where a corpse opens its coffin, pushes its way through six feet of dirt and sod, and says, “Never heard that one before.” Then eats Gertie’s brain.
Écureuil Écumant
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Crank: Don’t anybody tell Ed that vehicles have electric fans now, and the “fanbelt” is now called the “serpentine”. He’ll be afraid of getting bit by one — inside the beltway, of course.
But then, this is the guy who started calling the junkyards for Cat D10 hydraulic cylinders when Doc told him he needed to consider an inflatable penile prosthesis.
Muffaroo
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Years ago, I saw a classic episode of “Superman” that had an honest-to-gosh CLOWN FIGHT, with the Good clown battling the Evil clown (I know, they’re all evil — this was FICTION) at the edge of a roof. Well, it could only end one way, with Good knocking Evil off, sorta accidentally. After it was over, Superman managed to show up. A policeman told him what he’d missed, but I felt that his speech was lacking a certain je ne sais quoi (or something), so I rewrote it as follows:
“Superman, you just missed it! They were up there fighting away, with pies and horns and blunderbusses. I’ve been on the force for thirty years, and I have to tell you, none of us has ever seen anything as classic as when that evil clown took his last spill.
“He swung at the good clown and missed. Then he realized he’d overbalanced, and he stood at the edge of the building, waving his arms like a couple of windmills. He leaned in forward; he leaned out backward. Then his ass shot back, and he knew he was going down!
“He tried flapping his arms to fly! He tried running on air! He pulled out a little umbrella that turned inside out, and shrugged eloquently as he threw it away! And then, he hit the ground, nose first, with a HONK you coulda heard in Smallville!
“Yeah, he was evil. Sure, he robbed and hurt people. But when push came to shove, he was one heck of a clown! Every one of us here just had to laugh, and when he hit the ground, we gave him a standing ovation. He had just enough life in him to tip his hat.
“So, where were you, by the way?”
Muffaroo
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Baka Gaijin @y23 – I’m pretty sure I could walk into a store today and find a “Bun” bar. It wouldn’t be the closest store to my house, but I’ve seen them here and there over the years, and there are a couple of specialty candy boutiques around. I can even get Big Hunk bars now. (I should get more soon.)
Dr. Shrinker
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
DT: Umm…the evil clown is holding a handgun about 3 inches from the giant’s head. I know he’s busy recalling all the interrogatives he possibly can remember, but it seems like the sensible thing to do would be to, I don’t know, shoot the freaking giant in the freaking head?!?!?
Dr. Shrinker
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
And BTW, how can Fee Fi find the clown — instead of eyes, he’s got two holes in his face.
Steve S
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
When exactly does Dagwood go to work? Elmo isn’t in school and the mailman is at the door. No wonder Dithers gets so angry–you would too if your employee rolled in at 3 PM.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
MT: “How do you know that, Bob?”
It’s an annoying little yap-dog out in middle of the swamp wearing a collar with a license tag. You think it’s a feral, dumbass?
Jeffsterr
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
GT: Did I miss something? Probably, but if they just beat Madison (Panel 2) how can Madison still be 5-0 (Panel 3). Is this a flashback? Was Gill not at the same game? Is he preparing for the girls field hocky game???
Niall
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I was wondering if Josh would talk of Apt 3G, but it snarks itself – again – so brilliantly and flawlessly that all he could do is run the second panel and applaud. Which I did this morning when I saw it.
Ms Shulock, you DO love us!
Chip Whittle
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Mark Trail: So Luann’s faintly-creepy “faux” millionaire boyfriend Elwood grows up to be the dumbest poacher in Lost Forest County? Is he just now learning that people are capable of remembering facts once established?
Mary Worth: “Jeff, I spoke at length with Adrian… We’re worried. You’ve been holding that Twinkie in your mouth for five days without moving, chewing, or even blinking. If you’re trying to win Adrian’s love you should know being motionless is not all it takes. But your lack of personality is helping you, I admit.”
ArtisticPlatypus
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
“I like the way you paret your legs, showing your mildly lopsided crotch right before you hurled Pop to his death! That was a nice little flourish.”
ArtisticPlatypus
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Parted*, ’scuse me.
queek
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
5: actually, ‘gators do eat dogs. I seem to remember reading about one that had eaten 15 grand worth of coonhounds. There’s been plenty of attacks in Florida as well.
“Yap-dogs, it’s what’s for dinner!*”
*Old ‘gator saying, in the Crocco tongue.
Tosy and Cosh
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Blondie: Shouldn’t Dagwood be more impressed at Elmo’s apparent ability to sketch photo-real figures with sidewalk chalk?
jwright
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
MT: We can’t do that…that boy’s a…
Here, let me help you.
Jeffsterr
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Muffaroo @10. Awesome and Thank you. I never knew was Elvis Costello was singing about in the song of that same name. Now I have a visual.
tb4000
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Blondie: Yes, in order to prove that we are not still living in the Roaring 20’s, an allusion to a popular video game franchise in lieu of actual football must be made. Dagwood’s bowtie and wingtip shoes are merely him dressing in an ironic hipster motif.
LUJBEM FEJF
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Dick- Fee Fi Fo Fum, look ya stupid clown, use your gun!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Panel two is ellipsing the “IF” in “If we beat Madison Friday….”
Last week’s victory was over an overmatched Tilden team.
However, Milford already has two losses, though only one is in conference. Still. Playdowns? You’re talking playdowns!? PLAYDOWNS!!?
MrGuy
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Pluggers: I was under the impression that pluggers had only just begin to accept the foreign devil-magic of the “ah-bah-kiss,” let alone something so advanced as a slide rule.
Mark Trail: “Boys, we need to be far more over-the-top if we want to make it as villains. Throw that dog into a gator-infested lake!”
Stij
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
MW: The way that Scott emphasizes the ring makes me think that’s talking about The One Ring. Or maybe the movie The Ring.
Also: good lord, what is Jeff eating?
Jacob
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Mark Trail: Note the ellipsis between ‘that’ and ‘that’. I think there was an awkward pause involved here. WE CAN’T DO THAT!.. the conversation lurches to a halt at this outburst. When he realizes his companions are waiting for a reason, he yells again, THAT’S A PET!
Mary Worth: Here we see Jeff trying to ignore Mary, and Mary not noticing.
Crock: Ha! Little does Maggot know that there is approximately zero chance of getting infected with rabies in this hellish, desolate wasteland! Ha, ha! Back to work! *f-TSH*
Stij
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
*bleh, replaced “that’s” with “he’s”
Stij
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
*replace
I really cannot type today.
Dragon of Life
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Dagwood is going to kill Elwood. Oh sure, he still has some scruples about it — look how he breaks the fourth wall with a pleading gaze, begging the readers to understand that he doesn’t want to do this, oh god, why did it have to come to this — but his pathetic excuse of “too many video games” is not only entirely inappropriate for the 1950s (where he lives), but is clearly just a cover. Elwood must die because he has stripped Dagwood’s pretenses away. Now every time he slams into Mr. Beasley, everyone will know how incredibly deliberate and avoidable it is — unless Dagwood gets rid of the proof.
Onomah
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
What I like best is the guy’s look of concern when he asks Bob how he knows that it’s a pet. It’s as if he’s thinking: Has Bob developed psychic powers? Is he going to make my head explode just by thinking it?
Note to self; kill Bob.
Esther Blodgett
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I want to know what happened in the missing middle panel of Shoe that made Roz’ friend lose her glasses, her earrings, and her hairstyle and acquire that stunned facial expression. I want to…no, wait, I don’t. Oh God, please, I don’t.
cj
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Blondie:
Only morons buy sports games, and it only holds their attention for three weeks. Then they go into the bargain bins at GameStop for $3, where…they are purchased by Elmo?
Alan's Addiction
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I would like to know why Fee Fi’s hands (and spiky bracelets) are brightly illuminated today while the rest of him appears to made out of shadow. I have a few theories. The first is that Fee Fi is dressed in bondage gear and is, in fact, The Gimp from “Pulp Fiction,” which would be cool simply for the allusion to pop culture (such a rarity in the “Dick Tracy” universe). The second possibility is that he actually IS made of shadows, which would be even cooler as it would be the first time we’ve seen actual super powers in DT. The even bigger question: after seeing the silent giant’s obvious capacity for brutal violence, will Dick Tracy recruit him as some sort of side kick? I can only hope so; the only appeal of DT is the violence, and tossing in a giant psychopath can only increase that appeal.
I’m amazed that Dagwood even knows what video games are. I’m amazed he even knows the word “video.” But, all amazement aside, I do applaud Elmo for his brilliantly innocent explanation for why he’s vandalizing Dagwood’s property.
I never thought that pet-related exclamations could get better than “That’s a PET raccoon” (Mark Trail, 11/13/08), but today’s “Mark Trail” may well prove me wrong with “THAT DOG’S A PET!” As an aside, you know that the villains are in for some ultra-punching action if one of the henchmen finds their actions morally objectionable. Also, how does ball-cap wearing villain know that alligators love dog meat? That’s just disturbing. And, my final question, why does everyone keep running into each other? I’m guessing that this swamp is the size of a small mall, based on the fact that the characters seem to bump into each other every three hours.
Esther Blodgett
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
JP: “Ill ask you just one question, Rocky…Do you know how to unlock a department-store security tag? I seem to have gotten one attached to my ear.”
gnome de blog
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I’m a little surprised there are no chaining-to-a-log jokes today. Well, maybe when they find Rusty…
Debidawg
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:05 pm
#2 Will: In defense of Pastis, he writes about a year and a half ahead, and that long ago Twitter was just starting to be a big deal. Unfortunately, reading PBS this morning, I was not as amused as I usually am by this strip.
Fashion Police
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Miss Thompson’s dishwater-brown jacket perfectly suits her. She doesn’t need a makeover.
Elsewhere, Mrs. Worth has changed clothes four times since arriving at the hospital. Miss Cory – presumably still at work – has switched indiscriminately between her salmon-square dress and the black sweater-with-pearls. Yet Dr. Cory, Senior remains mired in the hideous orange suit and mismatched necktie. One cannot be certain he dresses in the dark, but the lights are certainly dim where he purchases his clothing.
Larry Fine
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Luann — TJ should say: “Yes, Mrs. DeGroot, Toni comes over quite often, and we always end up having a torrid three-way sex romp, usually involving Cool-Whip. Speaking of which, do you know what aisle they keep that in?”
Enchilada
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
“HOW do you know that Bob? Aside from the collar and tag the fact that it’s obviously healthy and well-fed? More important, why do you care?”
Lolsworth
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Dick’s still fighting that god damn clown? Weren’t they showdowning about three months ago?
Shlomo
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Dick Tracy as usual is a big letdown. From the looks of panel 2, I thought Fee Fi was going to grab the clown by both legs and make a wish.
AndyL
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
The Poachers would never say “We may be in luck, fellows … alligators *love* little boy meat!”
They might say “We may be *in* luck, fellows … alligators *love* little boy meat!”
Or they might say “We may be in luck, fellows … alligators love little boy *meat*!”
toxic
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
A month ago that clown was holding a gun on Dick… WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON FOR ALL OF OCTOBER? My god! This makes the Wheel of Time series seem fast paced.
Will
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
40, Debidawg, fair enough, but it’s still strikes me as flirting with a pluggers-level joke. Especially by comparison with the inspired Alice in Wonderland bit last week.
McManx
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Mark Trail — “A stray dog; We may be in luck fellows” ? Why? Because you dumbasses have been fruitlessly hunting gators with NO bait til now?
Dick Tracy — Given the nature of Fee Fi’s arthritic hands, it’s a wonder he can even get a grip on the clown. The evil clown doesn’t have to shoot him, just keep withholding his ibuprofin.
Blondie — News item: John Madden sues writers of “Blondie and Dagwood” for copyright infringement.
Hank
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
RE: Mark Trail. Just a thought, but shouldn’t a reknown “nature writer” and “outdoorsman” like Mark know that taking a puppy into a swamp and leaving it in a situation where it can wander off is a BAD thing?
BeeF
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
MT: Watch it, blondie. The Sideburns Twins are giving you the “Mebee time we see if gators like Bob-meat” look.
BRWombat
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
“Fee fi,” huh? I sincerely hope the follow-up story line takes us back in time to little Fee Fi’s childhood, wherein he dismembers his parents for giving him such a girly name before he runs off to join the circus.
Jackuul
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:56 pm
DT: Fe Fi Fo Fum I want me some bubble gum. Fe Fi like bubble gum. Mr Pops not give Fe Fi bubble gum. Fe Fi ANGRY! FE FI SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!
…Fe Fi done a bad thing Dick?
Alternatively:
After disabling Mr. Pops, Fe Fi, otherwise known as Professor Charles Johnson Montgomery explains that Mr. Pops was attempting to thwart his attempt to cure cancer, and the Ringmaster has the key in a note within his pocket. Acting for the greater good, he decided after much deliberation that the morally correct answer would be to use violence to stop violence. He then invites Tracy to tea.
Amateur
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
New catchphrases to work into my vocabulary:
“What? Who? It’s Fee Fi!”
“We can’t do that . . that dog’s a pet!”
Eh, that last one’s not as good as “chain to a log” or “friend of mine’s pet bear.” You’re slipping, Elrod.
Curtis: “Children of the Corn”!? Mr. Wilkins, is there something we should know?
Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
“Oh my goodness, in my recap of possible Mark Trail plot points, I completely neglected the obvious: Sassy used as gator bait!”
So what you’re saying, Josh, is “OMG! I’m dumber than Jack Elrod!”
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I forgot to remark on yesterday’s Frazz. It takes a lot to even get me to read Frazz, but I was alarmed by the revelation that Cauliflower or whatever his name is is culturally illiterate. Despite the best efforts of his elders to expose him to the wonders of poesy, he’s glued to those young adult novels and it’s making him distant with his peers. His only close relationship is with an older man with terrible hair who wears a jumpsuit and always has solvents around. I fear for Coldfred’s safety and his future.
cheech wizard
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Archie – A cloud of hearts in a comic strip are supposed to signify romantic love – you’d think they’d come up with something else to represent sheer horniness. Then again, I guess it wouldn’t do to just show Archie with a massive boner in his pants.
odinthor
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
DT. — The first dozen times I looked at panel three, I observed those two series of triangles at the upper corners, and said to myself, “Self, are we really observing this from the inside of the tiger, looking past his teeth up through his mouth? That is so cool!” But, sigh, I suppose that those are actually strings of pennants. Bah.
Baka Gaijin
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Why didn’t anyone warn me about today’s post? EVILSCARYGHOST above the fold! See? It scared me so much I can’t even recount what I saw. AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!
#11 Muffaroo: Really? It sounds like it should be floating in a pool ala “Caddyshack.” Actually, it sounds like the perfect gift for kids whose parents I hate. I can just imagine the chocolatey-mapley smears all over the walls, couch, and big screen.
Mark Trail: Dog Meat? From a dog-shaped chocolate chip cookie? Am I missing something?
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
What I like about Blondie today is that Elmo thinks a “safety diagram” will help a man who’s been slamming into the same mailman over and over again for decades now. And that his instructions are basically football jargon for “go around Mr. Beasely”.
cheech wizard
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
MT – Bob’s lack of facial hair will save him from a punching, but I’m afraid that saving Mark’s life won’t help him avoid prison time for poaching – justice must be served, y’know. But the good news is, his challenges in feeding and sheltering his family will be one-third solved.
KarMann
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Pluggers: Completely aside from the fact that this strip would make a Plugger out of me, I thought Pluggers were more around the take-their-shoes-off-to-count-to-twenty stage of mathematical development.
Crankenstank
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I think Young and Young missed out on a good punchline: Dagwood, enraptured with Elmo’s cute and preternaturally prodigious Rube Goldbergesque diagrams, runs right into the mailman, similarly enraptured, for the mother of all collisions.
Scherzo
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:40 pm
MT
This will require caps lock…
CHAIN SASSY TO THE LOG!
Écureuil Écumant
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Today’s Speed Bump is eerily reminiscent of the Halloween FC, and has a Twitter joke that’s creepy enough to be amusing.
Écureuil Écumant
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@63 Crankenstank: Or conversely, that both Mr. Beasley and Dag run right over the little twerp while he’s all ass and elbows scribbling on the front walkway. That’d work too.
aloha_breeze
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
#5 Digger: Umm, what about unsuspecting Yorkshire Terriers?
Bobdog
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
What’s with the obvious dummy being used in the last panel of Dick Tracy? I expect this sort of chicanery from low rent TV and blaxploitation films, but from a comic strip?
Violet
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I am utterly enchanted by the sheer crackheadedness of the off-panel interlocutor helpfully shouting back the identity of the person who is throttling Mr. Pops preparatory to hurling him across the room without in any way intervening. Please don’t ever change, Dick Tracy.
Batman Beatles
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Luann – Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Brad’s a freakin’ adult now! Gah!
Jumper
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:29 pm
So close… Mark Trail almost achieved a legendary Trifecta of Inappropriate Boldface. If the center panel dialog had been “Alligators love dog MEAT” it would have been perfect.
cheech wizard
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:33 pm
LuAnn – I think I get it now – despite her apparent refinement, Mrs. DeGroot was actually raised by wolves. Meaning she’s not going to allow any mating by anyone except the alphas. And Brad’s never going to get any until he succeeds in driving off his dad in a bloody savage fight, but he’s still going to have to mate with his mom unless Toni can succeed in doing the same thing.
Jumper
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:36 pm
#25 TB400 – yet a conjured image of Dagwood in a leather football helmet seems completely normal.
Violet
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Meanwhile in Mary Worth, Jeff mournfully nibbles a lone Pringle while Mary tries to tactfully explain why he can no longer go within 200 feet of Adrian’s fiance.
Chip Whittle
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I’m not positive but is today’s Dinette Set making fun of Pluggers? And if it is what do we root for? Besides cannibalism?
The Ghost of Jarrod
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
To be fair to Elmo, Josh, the whole Dagwood-runs-into-the-mailman thing stopped being funny in 1964. I’m sure at this point he’s just hoping something — anything — will put an end to it. Little does he know that this will just lead to more Dagwood-likes-big-sandwiches jokes.
queek
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
21: Here is the hunting dog eating gator story. A blogpost with the story is here.
Carly
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
I believe Elwood is referring to the position of Safety, not the physical well-being of the adults in question. In fact, he probably wants to see some intentional tackling.
Meanwhile, Dick Tracy exists in a world that doesn’t have anything like due process. The accused are always obviously guilty, though, so it’s okay.
Indichik
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Hmmm…”freelance vigilantism” is a career pursuit I’ve never considered. I think I could really excel in it. Then again, as is typical these days, it most likely offers no health insurance, and all the employers are probably hiring interns who will do all their vigilante work for free.
mr 12 oz can
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
dr jeff laments if i knew this cafeteria food was gonna be so good i would have wore my green jacket. meanwhile detective scott sees adrian is wearing his precouis !!!!
mr 12 oz can
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:14 pm
like the sideburn brothers have any peanut butter to lure sassy into there evil deeds .
Esther Blodgett
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:29 pm
#70 Batman Beatles – Now, now, just because Brad can lay down his sweet ‘n nasty monkey love whenever the primal urge grips his trunk, that doesn’t he should. That’s what being a gentleman is all about.
Kibo
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Oh, if only Dick Tracy could see a clown murdered in front of him every day. He goes to the circus every time he has a day off, but he’s rarely satisfied. Today he got what he wanted. Today’s Dick strip finally allowed him to enjoy the circus.
Right now he’s thinking, “Why don’t they have special magazines for this?” And as he always does when the circus is over (tragically or otherwise) he’s going to go bust a pornography store and spend eight hours frantically pawing through all the magazines just in case there’s a picture of another clown being offed.
Of course, this being the glacial pace of syndicated daily “action” strips, Fee Fi might not finish killing that clown until Friday. Tracy will probably bouncing up and down with excitement while Fee Fi spends four days instantly snapping that clown’s neck.
My theory is that Friday’s Dick strip will contain two panels. The first will say “*SNAP!*” and the second will say “*SPURT!*”
UncleJeff
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
83: Kibo — And the last panel will be Dick going “Ha Ho Hee”
Muffaroo
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Sassy doesn’t understand your hostility toward her.
Die, Clown, Die! Ow Ooh Eeee!
Old School Allie Cat
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Luann – Not to split curly black hairs, TJ, but that looks like a lot more than just onions in your cart.
MW – Mary, to add “at length” after saying you talked to Adrian is redundant. We *all* know that you can’t make a point in less than six weeks.
S4th – Sally, there’s geniune “reason for the season” sentiment, then there’s just you being a cheap ass.
MolyBendum
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Baldo Sometimes I say “Geez, I’d like to see comic characters sit around watching unlikely TV programs as some sort of possible commentary on the state of cable news today”. And this week…BAM! Baldo delivers. Thanks, Baldo.
Bizarro Is there a stick shaped somewhere like a ‘Y’ that I didn’t see? Just making sure.
Gil Thorp I read this as:
“(I’ve) Got lots to smile about, Robb.”
“(If) We beat Madison…”
Trying to emulate how kids talk and all. Hip and the like. I did not initially see the small word bubble “No” at the bottom of panel two and continued reading like:
“….Friday, I might even party a little.”
“Really?”
“At Gil’s house.”
Which made me think horrible, dirty things about man-boy sex. Not that, y’know, there’s anything wrong with that.
Herb & Jamaal OK, I might be the only one who didn’t know Jamaal was a former basketball star, I just always assumed Herb was 4’ 10”. I also can’t make heads or tails of what’s going on in this “storyline”. Please, god, nobody explain it. I’ve been heard mumbling incoherently throughout today: “So why does he live with the little guy? What happened to all his money? Isn’t “basketball” too specific a term? Shouldn’t it be just “ball”?” It’s resolved a lot of issues around here for people who thought I was loopy to start with.
Marvin From the expression on Marvin’s face as he stares at the other boy’s junk to the way (I call him) Bob just stands there, nonchalantly, penis and belly protruding – this is possibly the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. Deride me if you want, I don’t care.
Mary Worth ”I spoke at length with Adrian…” ranks right up there with “Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons” as a massive understatement.
Pearls I like Whitman as much as I like any poetry. That is to say, I like to know enough to get me laid. So twittify that shit so I can remember it easier. Twitter! Twitter! Twitter! My comment just got 3x lamer. HaHA!
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus @ 56 – Yeah, as a Frazz liker, that’s one of the things that irritates me too. Culpepper knows every book ever written and can make random allusions and references to them that I don’t even catch (not that I’m that smart, but I’ve read the shit, I feel like I should at least recognize it but don’t all the time). But he doesn’t know a piece of candy and hasn’t heard a song that’s been on TV in the last couple years in a commercial referencing a popular cartoon character (BK/SpongeBob). So I don’t really have a point, I’m just saying I agree, and remind myself it’s a comic strip. Which doesn’t help much, since I’m on a comic strip blog bitching about comics. Here’s where I say ‘lol’ and lame this comment up some more.
fishmorgjp
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm
WHAT? WHO? Mr. Pops has been seized by Gigantor!!
Gigantor the Space-Age Robot
He’s at… your command
Gigantor the Space-Age Robot
His power is… in your hand!
Uncle Lumpy
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
#87 MolyBendum –
ROFLMAO!
Baka Gaijin
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Arlo and Janis: Yet another visual double-entendre. Is Arlo looking for Janis under the suds to:
1. Pull her lifeless, drowned body out of the tub to start CPR or
2. Hop in the tub with her for some squeaky clean dirty sex?
Yolm
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I’ve read all of the Dick Tracy on CC and… good lord THEY SUCK! Whoever hired that artist must be fired!
Hairhead
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Luann – “Brad’s a total gentleman” – Translation – “Don’t worry, Mrs. deGroot, you cut Brad’s balls off years ago and you have totally screwed up his sexual response. He definitely won’t initiate sex; in fact, if Toni ripped off her clothes and screamed ‘Take me now!’, Brad would run back to you and ask where he should take her. Which is fine by me, ’cause it leaves my ’seduce Brad into hothothomosex’ plan still running. OOoo! I just love firemen, don’t you?”
queek
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:53 pm
90: BG, I think Arlo was frantically checking to make sure that your Option 1 wasn’t going to be necessary.
We can all hope that Option 2 happened off panel. ;-D
zerowolf
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Yes Scott, it’s my precious…..
OMJulie
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:33 pm
I do not know what a slide rule is. While this ensures that I am not a Plugger, that’s only because I am somehow too stupid to be a Plugger. I…I’m not sure how to feel about this.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Okay, I have an important question…Important to me:
The buckyhusband has moved out—yes, I’m rid of the 15-year-long husband infestation, although I still have the stinkbugs.
So I’m sitting here sipping bourbon (the good bourbon–Evan Williams, which I believe Uncle Lumpy recommended, and he wouldn’t steer me wrong!), and I realized that I have an important matter to take care of: I need to change my CC screen name.
But I’m not sure how to change it—buckys exwife? buckysXwife? buckysexwife has an odd ambiguity, as I think molybendum pointed out.
So—ideas? Suggestions? (Thanks!)
Joe Blevins
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:58 pm
BLONDIE: GAH! Can’t Dagwood just say “Madden 10″ or something? I thought Seinfeld established once and for all that there’s humor to be had in specificity — actual, real-life product names, titles, etc. Hasn’t that idea filtered down to the comics YET? I realize newspaper comics are the last to catch on to the trends, but it’s been over a decade!
MT: Wait, did Sassy stop to accessorize herself somewhere on her journey? Where did that collar come from?
Uncle Lumpy
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Well, time to de-link from all matters bucky, no? Who were you before? More important, who will you be next?
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
98 Uncle Lumpy: See, that’s why this is an important decision! But between the stoopid job and the stoopid marriage, my creativity is at a low point—too much energy going to, you know, lesser matters.
Susan
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I’m sorry to say that Shel Dorf, who founded the Comic-Con, has died at 76.
mr 12 oz can
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
i always wondered what bucky was doing when you were doing all those posts . how bout just duckywithoutbucky or futuremrscue . by the way dont fall for the first guy who calls you queenie
cheech wizard
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
96 – Buckysexwife sounds intriguing – and invigorating. A lot of guys would wish they were so lucky.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:27 pm
101 mr 12 oz can: Let’s revise; how about if I don’t fall for ANY guy who calls me “Queenie”? Because the less I have in common with Adrian, the better….
102 cheech wizard: I don’t object to the “sex” part; it’s the “wife” implication that I have a problem with!
Hmmm… I’m still thinking…. Evan’s helping me out here—or pretending to….
gnome de blog
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
How about short and sweet? buckysex.
gnome de blog
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Just kidding there, I think. I tend to agree with Unc Lumpy about de-linking from all matters bucky. You could go with a temp for now, until the real thing comes along. I don’t think the folks around here – the ones who pay attention anyway – will be too flustered if you change it a couple of times.
commodorejohn
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
#96 buckys???wife – I like the weird ambiguity of buckysexwife.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
104 gnome de blog: Hmmm… has potential. (And I’m short. Not very sweet, though.)
sugarpie
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
womanformerlyknownasbuckyswife Pick a name that makes you happy when you see it on posts. Sugarpie was Anna Nicole Smith’s wee doggie in her trainwreck TV show. That dog made me laugh everytime I saw it.
Uncle Lumpy is pretty smart-what do you want to do next? Its OK if you dont know right now.
Sorry you have to go through all the hassle, but your life will be better for it. (Oh shut the fuck up sugarpie!) Its OK to talk to Evan for a while, just dont take too much of his advice.
teenchy
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
#104: I think that’s been tried numerous times in Madison, WI, with varying results.
Will now sit back and wait for the organic chemists to make buckyball jokes.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
The de-linking seems wise, incidentally. And more appropriately symbolic.
One of the best things anybody’s ever said about me here was Dingo’s “demented harlot of snark”—I’ve not been too demented lately, but I hope to get my snark-mojo back, so maybe that will help!
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:18 pm
sugarpie—Thanks–and yes, I’ll be fine, I know. I mean, if I weren’t, I wouldn’t be spending time pondering something like my CC screen name!
sugarpie
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
86. MolyBendum The little icons in Bizarro are coded shout outs to his inner circle of friends. He probably regrets having started doing them but cant figure out a way to stop. There’s also a piece of pie and a firecracker and others even I’m to embarassed to admit I know.
Old School Allie Cat
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
buckys???wife – your screen name here is no small thing. I was Allie Cat for two years, then Alley Cat came along and hung around long enough that to differentiate myself, I converted to Old School Allie Cat, which works on a few levels, but I’m still irritated that I had to get creative with it. Especially since Alley Cat hasn’t posted here in awhile, that I know of.
Good luck with the life change and all the goods that come with it!
True Fable
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
OOOH! How about Feral Goat for a screen name?!
No, well; okay. I guess it is a kind of an acquired appeal.
Nvrmnd. :)
mr 12 oz can
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
you can always move to lost forest and meet a wildlife writer bucky . i beleive target is having a sale on red flannal shirts for woman.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
114 True Fable—Hee! But, uh, no. Cute as the goats may be…. But why isn’t that YOUR screen name?
115 mr 12 oz can: You know, I think I’ll stand a better chance on the dating front if I stay away from red flannel….
Red Greenback
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
What would Margo do?
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
117 Red Greenback: Margo would have kicked his ass to the curb about 5 years ago. I’m behind the curve, Margo-wise.
Sequitur
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
buckys???wife
I always have a deep feeling of sorrow when I hear of couples I know breaking up. Even though I don’t really know who you are and you don’t know who I am, we’ve traded enough snark that I consider you my friend so I’m having that feeling right now. I just hope whatever happens you will become a stronger and better person because of the experience. And please don’t take it out on your students. However, you can kick us all you want. We’re tough and we like you and we don’t bite (well, maybe bats :[ does).
A new screen name. Hmmm. No suggestion (unless you want to use a symbol like ? or something). But I’m sure you’ll find the name that is you and you alone and we all can smile when we see it.
NoahSnark
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Do all Mark Trail bad guys get voice acting lessons from William Shatner?
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
119 Sequitur: Thanks–that’s nice, really.
And my students…. Oh, dear. Actually, the ones who are doing what they’re supposed to are fine. Those who come in late, or talk in class… Well, let’s just say you wouldn’t want to be them.
buckys???wife
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
You all have helped to make a difficult evening better—thank you. (non-inappropriate boldface) (And I’ll be pondering screen-name choices….)
bunivasal
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:55 pm
“What? Who?”
“It’s Fee Fi!”
“Well, that answers that BANGBANGBANG”
Muffaroo
November 4th, 2009 at 12:05 am
buckys???wife – How about luckyXwife or lucky@life or something with ducky… luckyducky? Artist formerly known as buckyswife? buggywhips? recovering buckyswife? stuckeyspecanlog? fivepoundeyeball?
I’m sure we’ll have more great ideas for you. You’ll have a hella tough time deciding!
buckys???wife
November 4th, 2009 at 12:10 am
124 Muffaroo: Ha! You’re on a roll…
Isn’t “Lucky Ducky” or “Lucky Duck” a Tom the Dancing Bug character? I don’t think I want his identity…..
odinthor
November 4th, 2009 at 12:15 am
buckys???wife — How about “AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent”? A little long, yeah . . . but it’s your cookies that have to worry about that, not you.Good luck! I know it’s hard.
buckys???wife
November 4th, 2009 at 12:36 am
126 odinthor–Oooh, Python reference–nice! (And, thanks.)
Chip Whittle
November 4th, 2009 at 12:43 am
I’m quite sorry, buckys???wife. I hope the result of the splitting up ends up well enough.
buckys???wife
November 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
128 Chip Whittle—Thank you. It will. (But, yikes, I won’t get through tomorrow if I don’t go to sleep soon! What the heck am I still doing up when I’m getting up at 5 tomorrow?)
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 12:58 am
# 96 buckys???wife — Glad you have the good bourbon! I agree with previous comments that you deserve a name that makes you feel happy when you see it on the screen, and that interim name(s) are just fine until you find The One.
Sympathies, and best wishes getting through what must be a difficult time. And as things get better, I hope your future will be so bright that you need to wear shades.
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 1:12 am
11/4 MW — So Adrian doesn’t regret having loved, with an open empty brain, Mister Scam Artist. Yeah, right.
odinthor
November 4th, 2009 at 1:29 am
buckys???wife –Or perhaps “throatwarblermangrove”…
Farley\'s Revenge
November 4th, 2009 at 1:37 am
buckys???wife: Um…Are congratulations in order? Weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth? Much booze and chocolate in celebration?
I’m never any good at these things. Instead, I’ll offer a few ideas for your next nom de plume:
NoMoreBuckyswife?
FutureFormerBuckyswife?
LuckyWithoutBucky?
Bourbon&ChocolateBabe?
Farley's Revenge
November 4th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Oh, I know!
EYEPATCH!
Farley's Revenge
November 4th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Gosh. I came here to gather suggestions as to what the hell that thing was Jeff was ramming into his pie-hole while Mary waxed meddlesome. For someone who was so torn up with the condition of his daughter’s boyfriend, Jeff seems to have recovered nicely. He must have studied the “Melchet Method”* of grieving.
*Convenient Blackadder reference.
Galuaboy
November 4th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Hideous Deformed Little Boy Meat? Thanks for reminding me of my nickname in junior high.
Aviatrix
November 4th, 2009 at 1:55 am
I tried to help with the naming thing using the anagram finder, but “If Web Yucks” or “Icky Few Bus” probably don’t suit you.
Joe Btfsplk
November 4th, 2009 at 2:02 am
Apt. 3-G – Ruby, you look fine. You just need to understand our Hallowe’en traditions up here. Next year, just give the kids some candy, and they won’t tee-pee your head again.
Girl Reporter
November 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am
I agree with going with a name that makes you happy when you see it on the screen. If it engages others so much that they go to babblefish to look it up (I’m looking at you, Foaming Squirrel), all the better.
And the flannel shirt thing? It might actually double your dating prospects – if you know what I mean and not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 2:08 am
BourbonBabe?
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 2:09 am
Catwoman?
Poteet
November 4th, 2009 at 2:12 am
SnarkMojo?
Jack Parsons
November 4th, 2009 at 2:13 am
I like the way the Popes’s enormous shoes…
Ah, the joys of misreading.
Donkey Hotey
November 4th, 2009 at 2:21 am
DT: Look at those short, stumpy fingers on that circus giant/strongman. Truly, Fee Fi DOES have [wait for it]…fo’ fums.
Jason1981
November 4th, 2009 at 2:40 am
3-11
Luann: Actually, Luann, the bore would be YOU.
True Fable
November 4th, 2009 at 3:02 am
Apartment of Doom Oh, dignity schmignity, Tommie. Your dignity dies a violent death every time you put on those 50-year-old outfits and button them up to your nose. Guess that’s why you can’t tell your fashion sense REEKS.
Sister Sestina
November 4th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Place no pressure on yourself, dear snarker formerly known as buckyswife; I hate to think of you saddled with a rebound name that sounded sexy for ten minutes only to end up feeling vaguely foolish with a name you don’t truly love but don’t have the heart to ditch.
But can I throw “Unbuckled” into the pool?
Sister Sestina
November 4th, 2009 at 3:22 am
And your bourbon could be an Unbuckled Belt.
Mr. O'Malley
November 4th, 2009 at 3:52 am
It’s not like getting a tattoo or even a personalized license plate. You could try a few different ones on for size.
Add ex-bw at the end just so we know it’s you, and go wild!
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 3:54 am
buckys???wife:
How ’bout: Satchelsgal?
Or: Fungoferretfan?
(Too Lynn Johnston-y? {Not to mention too Darby Conley-y})
Or: AtLeastHesNotRod?
(waaaaaay too Lynn Johnston-y!)
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 3:57 am
#150 (me): “Lynn Johnston-y” = revenge-on-the-ex, of course.
True Fable
November 4th, 2009 at 4:23 am
Mary, Bringer of Meddle STOP IT MARY stop it right now. Don’t make eyes at Jeff while he’s talking about loving with an open heart. He’s not talking about getting ready to shaft an open heart patient, you hideously scary old soul. And since when did either of you regret anything? Like never. That’s when.
C’haft It’s not even struggling to be entertaining. It’s just sitting there on the page, glumly gumming its fingernails.
Vaguely Winkenblinken “…because that’s the day the principal says he’ll cover me all in extra degradation and depression, and names me Westdale Prom Queen.”
Scenes from Suburban Hell Lois is just about to snap and fly into a murderous rage. “I’ve only got one nerve left, Ditto, and you’re jumping all over it.”
I, Platypus Norm would totally get me.
9 Dickweed Lane Amos looks creepier than usual in the last panel.
BaBloos JEEZ give the kid some privacy already! Or is bathing now a spectator sport in your house?!
I still don’t care about Dick Tracy because I’m sure it’s predictable. See, there’s not even an exclamation point to “oh no.” Just “Oh no.” As in, Oh, no. This sucks.
Broni Fuck OFF, Mrs. DeGroot.
Pupps Shelter Stories already?
athena
November 4th, 2009 at 4:25 am
Apt 3G: Isn’t it cute how Tommie thinks she has dignity to lose?
Ed Dravecky
November 4th, 2009 at 4:36 am
Will @2: Health insurance? “Living in Westview” is a disqualifying pre-existing condition for anybody seeking coverage.
Christi
November 4th, 2009 at 5:08 am
If his silhouette is any indication, Fee Fi is wearing a diaper. Maybe he can donate it to the clown above him, for he most certainly will be needing it (and hey, with that kind of shading, it’s not like we’ll be exposed to anything).
Just some guy
November 4th, 2009 at 6:33 am
I like how the strip implies that it’s fine to feed a puppy to an alligator, as long as it isn’t somebody’s pet.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
November 4th, 2009 at 7:10 am
DT: All right, I have changed my mind. Dick Tracy is the worst-drawn comic strip in the universe, not Momma. Look at the miserable drawing in the last panel.
Dick Tracy may be the worst comic strip in syndication right now, and that’s no small accomplishment (as the saying goes) — lousy drawing, stupid plots, ridiculous characters.
AND NOW THE SECRET IS OUT: Dick Tracy is TJ’s father! Look at the grimace on the two of them — It runs in the family.
and now the see
dyslexic dog
November 4th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Buckys???wife:
As you seem to appreciate Python references, may I submit the following:
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfernschplendenschlittercrasscrenbonfrieddiggerdingledangledongledunglebursteinvonknackerthrasher- applebangerhorowitzticolensicgranderknottyspelltinklegrandlichgrumblemeyerspelterwasserkurstlichhimbleeisen- bahnwagengutenabendbitteeinnürnburgerbratwustlegerspurtenmitzweimacheluberhundsfutgumberabershöne- dankerkalbsfleischmittleraucher von Hautkopft of Ulm (without the awkward spacing).
Or maybe Eric.
Sheila Sternwell
November 4th, 2009 at 7:24 am
MW: Clearly, the salmon squares from that pool party a few years ago contained a slow-spreading dense dark matter ingredient. It has moved on to the walls of the hospital and Dr Jeff’s jacket, and slowly, so slowly, makes its silent way toward the refrigerator room and the packed red blood cells…
DT: Man, they just walk you through the story, don’t they? Repeated dialogue and slow pacing, it’s like a Hanna Barbera cartoon, except without the accidental phallic symbols in the background.
KarMann
November 4th, 2009 at 7:34 am
@buckys???wife: Well, you can’t very well consider Throatwarbler Mangrove, without also giving due consideration to Raymond Luxury Yacht!
Écureuil Écumant
November 4th, 2009 at 7:45 am
@159 Sheila Sternwell says: “MW — Clearly, the salmon squares from that pool party a few years ago contained a slow-spreading dense dark matter ingredient. It has moved on to the walls of the hospital and Dr Jeff’s jacket, and slowly, so slowly, makes its silent way toward the refrigerator room and the packed red blood cells…”
And already metastasized to Sideburn’s hat in MT. This was inevitable once they started making ink from genetically altered soybeans.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy
November 4th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Beetle: What the Fuck?? It’s Wednesday. Where’s Miss Buxley?? Mort??
John C Fremont
November 4th, 2009 at 8:02 am
#110 bucks???wife – If you shorten that to “Demented Harlot,” I think you’d have a winner. Pretty sure we’d all get the connection. Plus, it sounds cool.
Someday I’ll get around to changing mine…
Elliegal
November 4th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Oh, God…Mary is trying to flirt. Stick to meddling, Mary. Please.
queek
November 4th, 2009 at 8:34 am
147 gets my vote. :-)
MC: annnnd there’s Violet with a baby bump.
9CL; girl, you’re 19. That’s a different clock that he’s winding.
F-: the bi-weakly laugh occurred today.
Doonesbury just made the Ultimate Twitter Joke. The rest of the strips can just shut up about it now. (please?)
MolyBendum
November 4th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Beetle Ahh, Walkers, we’ll know you’re completely out of touch when we get Buxley-less golf strips on a Wednesday in January.
Cathy Boots. Cathy. There’s a joke there somewhere between a boot in the ass and Cathy’s boot-y, but I hate Cathy too much to even want my Cathy-related comment to be funny.
Curtis Haha, it’s funny because the United States is an evil, capitalistic, money-grubbing pig society. And Curtis can’t get none.
Get Fuzzy Satchel saying everything that pops in his head…in short bursts…it’s more Twitter humor! Take that Twitterers!
Mutts Awwwwwww, he knows I’ll need tissues when I vomit from his tales of bestiality, that’s so sweet.
Snuffy Smith ”But Mama Smith! Ah’ve lost 10 pounds! Those’re jest mah boobs on mah hips!”
queek- I’m pretty sure every comic strip is contractually obligated (by their contract with the devil) to mention the lastest technological trend 5x per year. It’ll never end.
MolyBendum
November 4th, 2009 at 8:52 am
bucky???sex - No input from me on screennames. I’ve thought I should have gone with moly, which is what most people call me in the real world anyways, but then people think I’m a chick online…whatever. Good luck with a name. Eyepatch (Farley’s Revenge) was good. And good luck with the divorce (I mean that in the best possible way). I’ve been through three and even when it was my choice it’s never been easy. Fish in the sea…better off without…time heals… You know. I just drank a lot mostly. Not that that helps a lot.
112 sugarpie - Thanks, I didn’t know there was an inside joke going on. I’ve noticed things here and there in it but never paid much attention. Oh, and Anna Nicole’s dog? Nice. I loved that show.
Nerowolfgal
November 4th, 2009 at 9:00 am
buckys???wife – when my first marriage broke up (he actually DID ran away with my best friend) I spent a year hoping to be hit by a bus. Since then, I realized it was the very best thing that could ever have happened to me, and I am thankful every day the marriage didn’t last.
After some years went by, after I found out who I actually was and what I wanted out of life, I remarried a wonderful man. Whether you remarry or not, you will probably look back on this breakup as your first step to happiness. First there is pain, I know, but then will come the joy.
ladadog
November 4th, 2009 at 9:01 am
@buckys???wife: I am very sorry to hear about your troubles, and hope you rebound in every good way.
In the meantime, my non-Spidey sense is tingling. How do you feel about writing about it? With your smarts and skills, I foresee a good book, either non-fiction or fiction, on your experiences.
Mela
November 4th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Wednesday Comics:
A3G: Tommie, first you need to have a personality, then you’ll get some dignity.
Archie: I never would’ve pegged Mr. Weatherbee to be the kind of guy who has a photo of himself for his wallpaper. That’s vaguely alarming.
‘Shaft: Braindead malaprop aside, Ed’s smarter than most senior citizens.
ReFOOB: Elly’s showing the same amount of concern for her poor care of a fish that she’ll later reserve for April.
FW: “It’s when everyone with a sense of humor about life is rounded up and killed. They chose the day to blight the work of Douglas Adams and his audacity not to wallow in misery.”
GA: If Walt fell into a freshly-dug grave, this will go from painfully stupid to darkly amusing.
Luann: Mrs. DeGroot, it’s only natural that your son will want to shack up with non-relatives. Deal with it.
My Cage: I’d totally have kids if I could have a babysitter like Norm. They’d be uber-geeky.
Pluggers: Pluggers buy off-brand “Choklit” from the dollar store that’s been banned by the FDA for decades.
Zits: Hahahahagreenjokehahahaha… kill me.
commodorejohn
November 4th, 2009 at 9:21 am
A3G – I’d try to come up with something snarky, but really, I don’t think anything I say could top the idea of Tommie being concerned about her dignity. Girl, you live with Luann and answer to Margo. Dignity left the equation in tears decades ago.
Archie – So, he’s watching his face, plus…flying gobs of…something…dear God, is Mr. Weatherbee watching Mr. Weatherbee porn?
Crankshaft – ARGH ARGH STOP IT STOP IT
Curtis – I’m not sure why they’re surprised about this, when it’s been the case since as long as there have been companies large enough to where the higher-ups don’t have to deal directly with their customers. This was old news when Dickens was writing about it.
DT – WE CAN SEE THAT, YOU TWIT.
Dilbert – Well, it looks like someone learned about aerodynamics from Hawkman comics. But I kind of expected better from an engineer.
F- – F Minus shows The Argyle Sweater how it’s done: a simple joke, a simple elegance to the art, proper perspective, and absolutely minimal wordage.
FW – …?
HOTC – Are these shops common in Philadelphia? Or did Heart have to trek over to Lio?
JP – If this were a sitcom, it would wind up with some kind of hijink-larious plot where Sam and Abbey have the Danube-Ledge children over while Rocky and Godiva go out for a night out or something. As it is, it’ll probably just feature Sam smugly doling out advice while people shower him with money. At any rate, ZARTAN CITY!
Luann – “Also, because I’d treat him much better, and I don’t want some attractive bitch stealing my man. Son, I mean my son.” Man, if I were an attractive girl, I’d be really pissed about this. Well, even more really pissed.
MW – No, I’m pretty sure Jeff has regrets. Plenty of them.
Monty – Okay, does anybody but Merrick think these guys are funny? I like Monty well enough, but these storylines just make me want to claw out my eyes and/or fall asleep.
MC – Yep. This is probably why nobody ever asks me to baby-sit.
NAOQV – By the time this has finished, there’ll probably be a whole bunch of younger readers scratching their heads and wondering what a “Guru Meditation Error” is.
Pluggers – Pluggers can’t afford the money and risk involved in marijuana trafficking, so they have to get their THC fix in less conventional and more pathetic ways.
SF – She is her father’s daughter.
Edison Lee – Now that’s just low. NASA has enough woes right now without being dragged into a crappy comic about goddamn stoves.
AhClem
November 4th, 2009 at 9:23 am
buckys???wife (Debuckified?) -
A little late to the party. I was divorced 3 years ago. When friends asked if they should offer me condolences or congratulations, I said a little bit of both — and I meant it.
You mentioned an appreciation for Monty Python references, so how about SpanishInquisition? PiningForTheFjords? NorwegianBlue?
Écureuil Écumant
November 4th, 2009 at 9:30 am
MT: “Little dog”, huh, Bob. You sure got that right. Small enough that just the Brownian motion of air molecules is sufficient to keep him suspended. Not even an amuse-bouche for a gator, they’d be lucky if they could catch the Geico Gecko with the likes of him.
mordock999
November 4th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Today’s Luann 11/04/09
TJ: You’re holding two fruit.
Take one, THROW it and BEAN that Irrational, Meddling, Ex-Hippie Idiot Nancy.
Take the other one and Vigorously SMASH it in the Face of Nancy’s Strumpet daughter, Luann.
Then leave the Store WITHOUT paying for ANY items and walk out in FRONT of a speeding bus.
Then MOST of US WILL Live Happy Ever After….,
_________________________
DEATH to TJ and Nancy DeGroot!!!
Écureuil Écumant
November 4th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Luann: In the second panel, TJ furthers the latest comics meme by fondling his mangoes.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Wow—what a treat to find so many comments that made me laugh this morning—and so many nice thoughts. I’m not going to further hog the thread with individual replies—but thank you, all. (Seriously, could this site have any better people? I think not.)
And you’ve also given me some great options, which I’ll take a few days to consider…..
Thank you.
(sic transit) buckyswife
November 4th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Curtis: Because yes, Greg, only in the United States do we have money-focused corporations; that’s purely an American phenomenon. (Can somebody help Billingsley read a Business section or something so he can find out that a number of US companies are owned by foreign multinationals?)
HtH: Browne must be getting forgetful, too; he missed putting in a joke. Oh, wait—I guess he’s been forgetful for years, then.
A3G: “Because I gave that up when I got this haircut.”
MW: Yep, Jeff’s the picture of an open-hearted, regret-free man right there, slumped over his coffee cup, face sliding into the collar of his orange suit, as his eyes stare blankly into the black, bottomless hell that is his future with Mary.
MT: I confess that I’m one of those people who get really worked up over dogs getting hurt. But even I have to question the direction of the plot: It was okay when they were
poachingmurdering gators for their hides, but now it will be a problem because Sassy is in peril?Fish
November 4th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Mr. Pops is already dead in the last panel, as evidenced by the mandatory “x” that replaces the eye whenever particular types of cartoon characters snuff it. His last few nerve impulses are animating the movement of his feet.
Whippersnapper
November 4th, 2009 at 9:52 am
‘Shaft: Take note, Crankshaft: Twee malapropisms are not cute even when they are uttered by children (see Family Circus). Twee malapropisms are downright horrifying when they are uttered by bitter elderly people who spend most of their time ensuring that everyone around them is as miserable as they are.
Tom
November 4th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Josh, thanks for reminding me that this Dick Tracy crap has been going on since August! Since August the glaciers move faster than the pace of “story telling” in DT.
Mark McD
November 4th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Actually, I don’t think Dick has shot a perp in several years now. He ALWAYS depends on the villain of the day to be hoist upon his own petard. Like Dirty Harrt said, “No files, no trials!”
And none of Dick’s geriatric fans raised an eyebrow last year when the villain of the hoary “Dick spends a night in a haunted house plot” got run over by a bulldozer and turned to bloody paste. Instead, they raised their hackles because the punchline in a “Get Fuzzy” strip was a poem whose unspoken last line would have involved a swear word.
Bart
November 4th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Ya know how football players use black grease under their eyes before their games? Well, I think that bad guys on Mark Trail use black grease to make authentic-looking sideburns before their capers. I wonder what other kinds of pre-caper rituals they follow?
Edgy DC
November 4th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Of all the… using a pet dog as gator bait?!
Know what else alligators love, homeboy? Sideburns. Mark Trail may not be present, per se, but if you look up a few inches, you’ll see it’s still his name above the strip. You’re about to be born into a world of pain.
Islamorada Girl
November 4th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Buckyswife: I’m so sorry, although maybe you’re not. New screen name? How about The Professor Formerly Known As Buckyswife?
Bootsy
November 4th, 2009 at 10:37 am
(sic transit) buckys(ex)wife, on choosing a screen name: I chose Bootsy cuz it’s something my little sister calls me sometimes. It’s a nickname of my real name, which is Boo Boo (yes, like the bear, thanks Dad!), and I thought someone might think I was cool like Bootsy Collins.
No one does, by the way. Ahem.
Anyway, good luck on the life changes. Any suggestions I could possibly make have been outshone easily by Eyepatch and Piningforthefjords, and I guess fuckbuckyhesanassholeandneverknewIwasthebestthingthateverhappenedtohimanditstoolatenowyouasshole might be a little long.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Today’s OBH gave me a pretty good grin.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 4th, 2009 at 10:44 am
And – hang on – was there really some guy name bucky? I thought that name was referring to the deer in MT, which is why I still laugh just about every time I see it.
LUJBEM FEJF
November 4th, 2009 at 11:04 am
DT- That tent must smell to high hell. The corpse of the poor dead trapeze artist has got to be stinking up the place having been sitting there rotting for the last 2 months. Oh, never mind, it’s just my brain, having read this story for the last 2 months.
Niall
November 4th, 2009 at 11:06 am
…I’ll eventually read, but not comment on the last three threads. Work’s been kicking my butt, and I’ve been kicking my own butt in gear at home to clean.
Buckys???wife: Urg, not a situation I have know even remotely close, but many good thoughts are flying to you. As for a name, how about something involving someone or something you truly have affection for? I believe you said you had a dog?
170. Mela: On Archie: worse than that, it seems his O face. (here, have my well-used bottle of brain bleach…) As for Pluggers, it may be Mexican “chocolate” like Carlos V (”chocolate chemically seperated by alkali” – oh good gods but that was the vilest substance I have ever tasted). What’s weird for me is that she keeps the empty wrapped, with the foil inside it.
173 and 179 (for now): ugg! Ugg ugg ug, ug ugggugug ug uuuug ug!
177 (soon to be 176): okay, “(sic transit)” is damned funny. Bravo.
187 (soon to be 185). Bootsy: … … words fail me. Any epithet I might have for your dad would pale to what you may sometimes think. Did you ever manage to impart to him the wrongness of that line of thought? Or at least learn why he thought this was a good name?
Calico
November 4th, 2009 at 11:10 am
#178 – Curtis’ father has never heard of, let alone read, The Economist.
Professor Fate
November 4th, 2009 at 11:11 am
MW: I’m glad they didn’t put the sound effects of the slurping and the sipping and the talking their mouths full – that would be pretty disgusting. I wonder if they are having pudding?
Luann – fore shadowing with the subtle touch of the blow to the back of the head with a shovel.
FW: Batuiks mastery of the theater of the incoherent continues to dazzle.
CanuckDownSouth
November 4th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Wow. Not only do all villains in the Tracy-verse get their deadly comeuppance when they’re about to be caught, but police have no responsibility to stop an attempted murder in progress, so long as the victim was – oh, a while ago – a threat.
The clown is flailing and can’t point his gun … nobody’s able to get a weapon or restraint on him? Really? Stallone would blush if given a script with this.
I assume Tracy took care of all the Tracyverse’s watchdog groups, ACLU, etc a long time ago. The leaders probably had some petty thefts in their juvenile records and therefore had to be immolated in a gas-main explosion as Tracy tried to bring them in for their probation hearing.
Calico
November 4th, 2009 at 11:24 am
And Bucky’s???Wife, I’m very sorry about your divorce/breakup. It must hurt but I wish you the best for healing, taking care of yourself, and having a little fun in the process.
As far as a new screen name, my cold-addled gourd is a blank right now…
Sequitur
November 4th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I may be out of pocket the rest of the day. I’ve got to take Exit 15A and travel to Zartan City. I understand there’s no internet there. Not even satellite. However, I understand Zartanian wine is quite good.
Sequitur
November 4th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Oh,
buckys???wife. How about Zartan?Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 4th, 2009 at 11:30 am
@196 – Sequitur
Just stay off of Crime Street!! I hear the parking is a nightmare.
Dingo
November 4th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Dignity and Tommie Thompson are two items that should never be used in the same sentence. Then again, why talk about Tommie Thompson at all?
Hank
November 4th, 2009 at 11:46 am
RE: 9CL. Edda’s supposed to be, what, 21 or 22? And she’s worred about her biological clock? Better wear a condom Amos because you obviously can’t take the Catholic school out of THIS girl.
RE: Mary Worth. Wow. Mary is really catty today. She actually said what we’ve all been thinking in regard to Jeff’s unrequited manlove for Scott’s dad.
Muffaroo
November 4th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Crankshaft – SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY! Come see the DUEL to the DEATH between Crazy-Talkin’ CRANKSHAFT and Malaprop-Spoutin’ DOLLY! You’ll thrill as Dolly says “INTENDO!” You’ll gasp when Crankshaft says “FAN BELT!” You’ll choke up when Dolly says “PASGHETTI AND MEAT BULBS!” You’ll beg for mercy when Crankshaft says “OX TO GRIND!” You’ll pay for a whole seat, but you’ll only use THE EDGE! WHO will win? WHO will live? WHO will die? WHO gives a duck?
Dennis – Is it kind of menacing that the hole in the glass is smaller than the football that presumably made it? I just can’t decide.
Pluggers live too close to Marmaduke. Lord, that big dog loves the candy! Come middle of November, he’ll still be barfing empty wrappers in front of his doghouse.
Prickly – “THERE’S A NAME FOR THAT!!!!!” “Imaginary straw person?”
Muffaroo
November 4th, 2009 at 11:48 am
dyslexic dog @158 – Your version of the name probably comes from official sources. I took it from an audio tape of the show, laboriously typed out what I heard, and memorized that, so today I can pop out easily with a name that’s almost that one, and say it the same way several times in a row. Then for an encore, I’ll sing “The Elements” by Tom Lehrer.
MolyBendum @166 – There’s no conflict between your version and the on in Snuffy — Loweezy ‘dropped’ the ten pounds. Okay, I’m done thinking about this one.
ddfsdg @173 – “year” — Now when this uninspired spam is deleted, nobody will have to wonder what it said. It said nothing. Lucky us for reading it. And then at 179, same bot said “the joys of misreading.”
Lucky for me, their removal won’t affect the numbering of the comments I’ve responded to here.
UncleJeff
November 4th, 2009 at 11:50 am
191 niall: Actually “milk choklit” in Pluggerland is manufactured by Harshey’s out of cocoa bean shells that were discarded by the Home Depot after they found out that when used as mulch, they were too tempting for dogs who ate them and died.
The shells are then mixed with reconstituted milk powder stolen from government surpluses.
Those poor, poor Pluggers.
Dingo
November 4th, 2009 at 11:55 am
buckyswife, hmm… names.
Snarkette
Dementia Snarkagoras
Free to Bet
Oregon Orgasm
sASSy
Buck Ripsnort
November 4th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I’m not THAT Bucky! Just wanted to put that out there.
Still, reminded me of a little drama I saw played out driving past a little saloon out west, over many months–
First the sign said: MY PLACE.
Then, OUR PLACE.
Then, MY WIFE’S PLACE.
MY EX-WIFE’S PLACE.
THE EX-WIVES’ PLACE.
I’ve always wanted to drive past it one more time, and see if she finally called it MY PLACE again. There’s a country song in there, someplace.
Dicky
November 4th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
9CL: If time hadn’t slowed down in the last eight years, Edda would be 24. But then their early graduation from catholic school in 2005 says that they are at most 22, maybe not even drinking age yet…
If your biological clock is ticking at 22 or earlier, you have some issues, even with no way to wind one of those things for yourself. Of course, they are supposed to have something like 8 or 9 (or more?) kids, all of whom have been named already and have been shown in a time jump panel.
Foob: I want Liz to put Frank in her mouth.
Luann: Smack her, TJ!! Even though you can potentially appreciate the disturbingly restrictive coils of Degroot mothering given your pathetic childhood, viciously reinstill in her the fact that her son is technically an adult and that she won’t be alive forever to protect him.
Red Greenback
November 4th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Re. ???’s transitional screen name: Being that you are a woman of the female persuasion, I’ve ruled out the moniker “Jacuzzi McDude” (a name that I dearly love) for you (Jacuzzi McDudette maybe?). Or how about the teacher from Family Circus, Miss McElfresh? Just thought I’d toss those against the wall, see if they stick.
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
#202: I second “Snarkette”.
sic transit buckys???wife: Maybe using the name of Mr. Katt that way was a bad sign all along, as Rob Wilco could’ve told you. Finding a more likable comics character’s name would be a better omen. Some guy calling himself margoshusband may not be a good idea. Neither would “batiukscharacter”.
Seriously, I came up with my one and only username (barring occasional reference-based variations) based on a type of character (also prone to variations) I draw that I call mibbits. There isn’t an even unlikely chance I’d need to lose the name, even if I never really get published, or not with comics involving mibbit characters.
Joe the Plugger
November 4th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
9CL: Following the discussion about Edda and Monkeyface’s age… Didn’t they just graduate from High School?
And as for the joke… It’s more of a single entendre than anything else… The non-joke portion of the double doesn’t actually make any sense…
tb4000
November 4th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
9CL: It should be obvious that Edda Burber is a 40 year old socialite in a 20 year old body. Now as far as Amos goes, that dude is just fucked up.
NSP
November 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
That’s a three-month-long Dick Tracy story line? We don’t get DT in the award-winning Cleveland Plain Dealer, but it seems like that strip out-drags Mary Worth, Judge Parker, and the Spider-Man combined.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 4th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
11/4
A3G: Tommie provides the funniest line of any feature today when she talks about preserving her dignity. Pretty soon Ruby’s pink blazer will be counterpointed by face blue from laughing.
H&L: By the time you get it in, you won’t want it anymore? Believe me, I think your mother understands.
MW: Mary has eyes in her head. She can see that Jeff is in love with Scott too.
S-M: So being able to hear when someone opens your bedroom window and climbs in is a superhero? Apparently being a superhero is a minimum requirement for surviving in New York.
Luann: Mrs deG is generalizing pretty hard off Dirk. Or she hired a PI.
MT: I can just see Mark’s vengeance now. “You took a friend of mine’s… You poached this little boy’s… Ah, fuck it, I just need to hit something.”
DT: “Oh no! Dick is going to narrate everything that the reader can already see! This is going to take forever!”
Archie: Dare I ask why Mr. Weatherbee is watching his own ecstatic face on the computer? Is this footage of the wild party where Mrs Grundy and Mr. Svenson took turns spanking him?
SFx: Of course the fish is smiling. For once, it will be the one to live to fight another day.
OBH: Skateboarding at 50? Fine. But at least turn the cap around.
9CL: Wha? Did Amos just take 5 seconds to get Edda pregnant?
Lockhorns: Leroy just got a look at Loretta’s newest cookbook, titled “To Serve Husband.”
Mibbitmaker
November 4th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
#205 (Red Greenback): Jacuzzi McBabe, maybe?
Python names:
Two Sheds Jackson?
The “It’s” Woman?
Gwen Dibley?
Pepperpot Lady?
Audience Full of Proper Old Ladies Applauding?
Audience Full of Proper Old Ladies Applauding of Ulm?
….. Lemon Curry?? (how’d that get in there?)
Ni?
Carol Cleveland?
Dinsdale? …? (using the first question mark)
Sister Sestina
November 4th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
If we’re going Python, why not Miss Ann Elk? A bit of antlered nod to bucky if you want continuity, while being defiantly single. But you have far better theories, I’m sure (A-HEM!)
Fashion Police
November 4th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
#146, True Fable:
We beg to disagree with you, sir. It isn’t the buttoning up that makes Miss Thompson drab. Buttoning things up can be very alluring indeed, if done so it whispers at what lies underneath.
No, this drabness has a deeper cause. The life and color have been sucked away from the formerly glamorous and acidulous Abigail Thompson by years of exposure to the frightening dimness of Mrs. Lu Ann Powers. All along, Miss Thompson should have been asking herself what Miss Magee would do. Blending into the wallpaper would not have been the answer.
Écureuil Écumant
November 4th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
@205 Red Greenback says: “Or how about the teacher from Family Circus, Miss McElfresh?”
Or mebbe Curtis’ 2008 summer school teacher, Ms. Honeystump? I pretty much guarantee that one’d stick to the wall.
Paul K DOG
November 5th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I just realized something. The mailman comes to my house at around 2 in the afternoon. My guess is that nobody ever gets their mail delivered any earlier than 9AM…and that would be like the earliest! So Dagwood and his carpool crew must work some strange hours.
Earthgirl
November 5th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Of all the possible explanations Bob could give for knowing Sassy’s a pet, I guarantee that the fact that she’s wearing a collar will not be the one used. Because for him to think of that, Bob would have to have brains.
Dark Grapefruit
November 6th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Blondie – I love those John Madden video games, especially the new one, John Madden National Football League 2010. I play it on my Sony Playstation Three video game console.
nightcrawler666
November 6th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Are we sure Elmo is not using some sort of Satanic runes to cause the immediate death of Dagwood and the other guy? Or possibly melding them into some horrible Lovecraftian creature?
Jacque Rodell
November 6th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
I had a dog for 14 years, and never in that time was she able to express open mouthed surprise nor exhale speed lines.