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Dialogue beyond the last panel (and also Judge Parker)

Spider-Man, 11/10/09

“I dunno, I guess I thought … he put people to sleep? You know, like the mythical figure you tell your kids about? ‘Mr. Sandman, Bring Me A Dream,’ and all that? But this is just a man … who turns into sand … and who calls himself ‘the Sandman.’ I mean … huh. It’s kind of a little too on the nose, isn’t it?”

Judge Parker, 11/10/09

So, wait, Frank D’Vito’s widow is a leggy, amoral blonde who lounges about her mansion wearing a dress so short and tight that she would find it literally impossible to sit down? I for one am totally shocked to see such a development in Judge Parker.

Mary Worth, 11/10/09

“Oh my God, he has … rightlegitis! And Scott’s father’s right leg was so shapely, too! Damn you, you smack-dealing bastards! Damn you straight to hell!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/10/09


143 responses to “Dialogue beyond the last panel (and also Judge Parker)”

  1. bbug
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    OOH! I smell an amputation storyline!

  2. mollificent
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    bourbon babe, unbuckled: YESSSSSS!!!!!!! :D (Hmmm…I’m considering changing mine to “harpdancetronica”…)

    Today’s My Cage: I have a cousin who still sniggers at “Slow Children” signs. Takes one to know one…

    OBH: Awwwww…:)

    FW: I’m completely serious about dropping this strip. As I mentioned yesterthread, my neighbor across the hall drank himself quietly to death a few weeks ago. I have no interest in watching Wally put through a similar experience, even if he is somehow “saved” from it in the end. I can read about death and misery in the works of Victor Hugo and feel spiritually uplifted even as I weep; you, Tom Batiuk, are NO VICTOR HUGO. And to introduce this arc during Veteran’s Day week…just the icing on the crapcake.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the Chron to do some hack ‘n ‘slash on my custom page.

    P.S. Medium Large: Thank you, Ces. You are as always funnier and more succinct than I could ever be.

  3. 150
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Drew appears to be horrified at the thought of the numbness in Scott’s right leg, but Mary seems intrigued. I wouldn’t have pegged her for an amputee fetishist, although now that it’s in the open, it seems so very clear.

  4. Chyron HR
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    If the Sandman has shape-shifting powers, couldn’t he have just turned into, like, a lady made of sand, thereby concealing his real identno never mind I’m not going to give this any more thought than Stan Lee did.

    (And is that statue supposed to be D’Vito’s wife with wings, or did he just think a life-size Serra Angel would spruce up the place?)

  5. survivor
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    MW “He has trouble feeling his right leg? That’s amazing! Right now, I’m having trouble feeling my left arm! I, uh …” (grabs chest)


  6. Niall
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    5. survivor: Oh, we wish.

    2. mollificent: I’d definitely listen to harptronica…

  7. Larry Fine
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Another lighthearted storyline unfolds in Funky W. Did Batiuk fry ants with a magnifying glass as a child?

  8. Steve S
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Jeff is actually thinking “What a coincidence! I’m experiencing a constant, major pain in my neck. She’s sitting to my left.”

  9. Écureuil Écumant
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Melange? Hmm. Well, it certainly explains Kwanzaa.

  10. MolyBendum
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    I like Bigshot sneeringly gesturing “Why d’ya think hes called….The Sandman?” I swear to god, ‘beyond the last panel’ he’s twirling his mustache and cackling.

  11. krazykat
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    …and that’s the leg he uses!!!

  12. doug rogers
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    That minor pain in the neck would go away if Adrian would stop visiting.

  13. doug rogers
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    What? Doctor Drew’s middle name is Gregory House?

  14. Josh N.
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Gosh, every time I read Mary Worth, I feel like I lose brain cells. Why do they feel like they have to repeat themselves all the time? Are the regular readers of Mary Worth this slow that they need it in order to understand the glacial plotline?

  15. Perky Bird
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    How is turning into grains of sand going to open the bank vault? Is Sandman going to get into the bank manager’s underwear and chafe him mercilessly until he agrees to open the vault?

  16. doug rogers
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Adrian says; “But I felt his leg and it felt just fine!”

  17. indrifan
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    MC There are signs along the Merritt Parkway in Connecticut that warn of “Depressed Storm Drains”. We always supposed that if we pulled over to the side, we’d never be able to get them to stop telling us their troubles.

  18. MolyBendum
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth - This is where we find out that Jeff’s medical specialty is “Sleepy Leg Syndrome” and he gets to make a joke about how he majored in “legs” in med school. Then, after his lame joke, we’ll find out why only Jeff could diagnose Scott’s condition and not the “doctor” who’s been spending all day and night at his bedside. And Mary, after being mistaken for a giant, advice-giving banana by someone who hit the morphine button one too many times, will be bludgeoned to death with a dirty bedpan. Good times in the serial comics, indeed.

  19. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @bbug #1: They’re going to amputate Scott’s neck?

    @Perky Bird #15: Um, yes. Just to, uh, get the safe open. Correct.

  20. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    #15 P-Bird:

    How is turning into grains of sand going to open the bank vault?

    Ha! He will swirl about and erode his way in! By the standards of this strip, erosion is a pretty brisk process.

  21. mollificent
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Done! I banished Batiuk (both Crankshaft and FW) and in a fit of frustration also dropped Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley.

    Seriously, the insanely glacial plot development in those strips (and the lack of sexy/interesting artwork or unintentionally hilarious characters to compensate, as in JP/RMMD) have pretty much made me lose interest in them completely.

    I also added Jumble (yay!) and Heart of the City.

    Last but not least, I dropped Marvin. One poop joke too many. I’ll enjoy the snark when Josh posts it, but on a daily basis…too much.

  22. DAS
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    And Mary, after being mistaken for a giant, advice-giving banana by someone who hit the morphine button one too many times – MolyBendum

    Anybody good with PhotoShop? Mary as a giant, advice-giving banana is an illustration whose time has come.

  23. Alan's Addiction
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    So, the Sandman is going to… leak into the locking mechanisms of the bank vault door and cause it to rust in 5-50 years time? I guess he’s bigger and stronger in his sand form, but, realistically, an ability to turn into sand has to be one of the most uselss abilities ever. It’s good if a small child wants to build a sand castle and there’s no nearby beach. But, hey, when your main character’s abilities are that he’s very, very strong, can walk on walls, and can jump really high, I guess you have to scale your super villains down, too.
    You know the “Judge Parker” story line is taking off when the hot, evil women in revealing outfits start showing up. You may proceed, Your Honor.
    Today’s “Mary Worth” is great. I like to think that Detective Scott has named the minor pain in his neck “Adrian.” Also, I thought that the major attraction of the strip was that it’s fairly realistic – there aren’t any spies, explosions, weird tales of long-lost twins vying for the same woman or anything else interesting so that it can tell stories that we can all relate to and seem grounded in reality. So how is it possible that Detective Scott survives after the drug dealers try to turn him into a sieve? He may wind up with some sort of crippling nerve/spinal cord injury (as indicated by the numbness in his leg – well spotted, Dr. Adrian), but he should probably be dead. Being shot in the neck and upper torso usually has that effect.
    I see that the Random Emphasis Syndrome that’s plagued Mark Trail for so very long has infected Snuffy Smith. Either that or the writers decided to emphasize their attempt at a punchline to let us know that it is, indeed, a punchline.

  24. Poteet
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I really don’t understand this superpower. How does he get his clothes to change into sand? If it’s because they are touching him, could he turn a handkerchief into sand by holding it? How about a flashlight? How about a gun? How about his daught….oh, never mind. This is why I avoid superhero movies.

  25. Sequitur
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: When they say “right” leg, do they mean “right” as in “correct?” That could be the short, little, middle leg.

  26. laurie
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Bigshot’s associate clearly has just come to learn not to expect the obvious. As he had initially assumed taking this job would get him a strong glass of tequila, but he was instead presented with a demure man with a mediocre sense of villainy.

    The Sandman has just reassured his sense of reality moments before having it ripped apart again when Spiderman inevitably shows up minus 6 legs and several pairs of eyes.

  27. Poteet
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    S-M — Is he made up of wet sand? Dry sand? Is he classified as fine, medium, or coarse? Is he rounded or sharp? Does he worry about rampaging arenophiles?

  28. mr 12 oz can
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    i think dr jeff is surprised detective scotts leg is numb because he recreated the park bench scene his daughter did before old chinholder got in the room .you gotta give mary credit for the inside out dress purple one side canary yellow the other

  29. Esther Blodgett
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    As they say, there’s the left knee, the right knee, and the wee knee in the middle. I mean, dreadfully immature people say that. I’ve heard.

  30. Jacob
    November 10th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Holy crap, it’s an explosion of emphasis!

    Spider-Man: I didn’t realize that Sandman glows when he changes into sand. I guess you could say that he’s experience a holy a-sand-sion! Am I right?

  31. hmm
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    MW – Maybe Adrian’s comment about Scott not being able to feel his right leg is literal…. The way he’s been flinging his right arm around, I doubt he’s noticed yet that it’s in a sling… Also, the top half of his bed has been up and down more times in the past few days than a roller coaster… my neck’s starting to hurt just watching it…. Final comment… how come Mary and Adrian have managed to change outfits half a dozen times, and old Dr. Jeff can’t even swap out his tie?

  32. Poteet
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    S-M — What happens if someone goes after him with a front end loader? If a large part of him is carried away by a front end loader, does that kill him? Wound him? Embarrass him?

  33. cj
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    I’m no Comic Book Guy, but doesn’t that look less like Sandman in the first panel and more like a bulkier, dumber Norman Osborn?

    Shouldn’t San be more concerned that the angel statue is missing its spear?

    Charterstone’s power couple is already dressed for Thanksgiving. Also, news of possible debilitation is inducing Mary’s smug (not that that’s anything new).

  34. PattyCake
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I figured his superpower was that he rides the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that’s abandoned.

  35. The Ridger
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    #24 – Since Stan Lee referred us to the movie, those were the horrible clothes Sandman was wearing when the SCIENCE Machine turned him into sand. So I suppose they switch as if they were part of him … The question now arises: can he wear something else? Or only over those?

  36. Anonymous
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @25 Sequitur says — MW: When they say “right” leg, do they mean “right” as in “correct?”

    I think they mean “right” as in “right angle” or “right triangle”, i.e., perpendicular, and hence in Scott’s case that would clearly be “incorrect”. Unless he’s got a case of the John Dillinger spinal reflex.

  37. Shlomo
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth- “He has trouble feeling his right leg? Well, I had no trouble feeling his right leg a few minutes ago. Or maybe that was his middle leg.”

  38. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    JP: What the hell is the widow holding and speaking to? A glass of champagne or a wee little bird? My hope is that it’s a bird, her right eye is patched and we got a righteously leggy pirate on our hands!

  39. Baka Gaijin
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    #23 Alan’s Addiction on Spiderman: “[R]ealistically, an ability to turn into sand has to be one of the most useless abilities ever…” How about the ability to transform into olive loaf or to communicate telepathically with refrigerators? Or communicate telepathically with refrigerators filled with olive loaf? Or be Marvin?

  40. Will
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Mollificent, I’m right behind you. I banished Gasoline Alley during the Earl Lee Byrd storyline, and haven’t looked back. FW and Crank are next on my enemies list. If Wally’s story goes as all of us, including Ces Marciuliano , seem to think, then I’m out.

    Cheech Wizard, on Ces’ blog, aptly describes the artistic process:

    I usually visualize Tom Batiuk as sitting at his drawing table, idly chewing on the barrel of a pistol, while composing FW.

  41. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: Why is it that as Scott nears death senior Dr. Cory drops about 20 to 25 years in age? I want to reopen the books on Scott’s father’s death and get a gander at Jeff’s birth certificate. It certainly explains his unholy alliance with Frau Worth.

  42. Gal Friday
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Wow! Sandman has the proportionate strength of a radioactive clump of sand!

  43. Elliegal
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Judging by Mary’ s expression in panel 1, she just swallowed her teeth.

  44. Frank Booth
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    He’s turnin’ into a candy colored clown!

  45. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    Sandman’s mortal enemies: cats!

  46. mollificent
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    #40 Will: LMAO!! Such an arresting visual image Cheech Wizard gives us.

    (Also, thanks for reminding me to add “Medium Large” to my list of non-Chron comics bookmarks.)

  47. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal:

    What the hell?!? Do people really do that?!? I mean people outside of Bugs Bunny cannibal cartoons?

  48. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    In the second panel, Mary stifles a laugh, showing her to be compassionate. A less compassionate sociopath wouldn’t stifle the laugh at all.

  49. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    48. Thinks He’s Brenda Starr -

    Compassionate sociopath? Now there’s an oxymoron. Reminds me of the Year 2000 for some reason… BUT, what I mean to say is, Mary is not showing compassion, she has learned that “Normals” get wary when she laughs out loud about dismemberment, pain or death.

  50. queek
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    “Its Platitude and Meddle-Time!
    Its Platitude and Meddle-Time!
    where ya at?
    where ya at?”

    *runs for cover*

  51. Calico
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy, it’s a straight shot from here-riight to Hell!

  52. Calico
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    #43 – Goddammit, I just spit white wine (really) over my keyboard, thanks to your comment! : )

  53. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    52. Calico says:

    I like your style!

  54. cj
    November 10th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    41. Sans:

    Mary has perpetually been the same age for decades, while Dr. Jeff has noticeable de-aged over the past 2 or 3 years. Speculation about what is actually going on can be found in the comment archives.

    I don’t know if this has been suggested before, but here goes: unlike other soap opera strips e.g. A3G, where we actually see the characters go to other places, Mary Worth appears to take place pretty much all within Santa Royale. Perhaps the strip’s whole world is just Santa Royale, isolated from other realities like the inside of a snow globe. Characters that leave the strip alive and never return actually enter parallel realities. Actually, this lends credence to Mary’s insistence in Vietnam that Jeff “doesn’t belong there” – it’s not because she’s a horrible racist, it’s because they’re from a parallel reality that doesn’t include a Vietnam.

  55. Sans Sense
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Is there an award for Most Long Suffering Super Villihero? I duly nominate Sandman.

    Creeps kidnap his daughter (sigh), force him into crime (not again), force him to dress like a French sailor on leave (stands there patiently) and then giggle at his less than spectacular powers (slooow burn). I don’t know the history of this character but he should be renamed Punching Bag.

  56. Adjuster
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Nothing is more action-packed than Sandman trickling his way into the safe. Perhaps once he’s in, he’ll discover that safes don’t open from the inside. Then he’ll trickle his way back out.

    I could continue reading Spiderman, but watching an hourglass is more exciting.

  57. Carlo
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    2. Mollificent: I’ll cop to it. I still get a chuckle out of “slow children” signs as well.

  58. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    The very sexy naked lady angel statue in panel 1 of Juggs Parker is hilarious. I want to imagine that the widow commissioned it to be of herself. And then afterwards, her jealous husband arranged for the sculptor, who was also her lover, to be blinded. This all somehow lead to her being a widow. She memorializes this by cheerfully taking the statue that caused so much suffering and putting it in her front garden. “Corporate crime in America is alright” she says, but gets cut off before she can finish, “but it’s much more fun in places with paramilitary death squads.”

    I think she’s bad. /Margo/ bad. And really, isn’t it all too easy to imagine Margo commissioning a naked statue of herself as an angel. It’s probably why she got into the gallery business in the first place. I mean, she clearly doesn’t care about art, normally. I bet she also has a bunch of paintings of herself as the Blessed Virgin Mary. I bet they both do.

  59. cheech wizard
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    40/Will – thanks – wasn’t expecting to be quoted off-site. Glad you liked it. Nice to be back on the float this week too – been a long time since I had a ride.

  60. cheech wizard
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Mis-posted the following to an earlier thread, so I’m repeating it here:

    FW – Someone should tell Wally that it’s pretty damn hard to drink yourself to death with beer. Unless he’s merely planning to drown himself in his own urine.

  61. Farley's Revenge
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: But what about the patients Adrian was tending when the news about Scott jigged her into over-emoting on a scale not seen since Carol Burnett channeled Gloria Swanson? You remember her patients, right? Yeah, well, neither does Adrian, apparently.

    On the upside, now those poor schmucks are getting the care they need and deserve from doctors who didn’t get their medical licenses from one of those claw machines at the local supermarket(Adrian had probably been trying for the teddy bear but got the medical license instead).

    I’ll leave it to Fashion Police to discuss Jeff and Mary’s coordinating outfits.

  62. Fashion Police
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Although we guffawed inelegantly at MolyBendum’s description of Mrs. Worth as a “giant, advice-giving banana,” we believe she more closely resembles a piece of banana cream pie that is embarassingly short on the whipped cream.

    However, we continue to be impressed that Mrs. Worth, like the Victorian matron she is, continues to change clothing several times a day to suit whatever occasion is at hand, even if she has more outfits than there are occasions. We recall that, when they received word of Detective Hewlett’s misfortune she and Dr. Cory appeared to be dining out. One wonders if she brought the steamer trunk with her to dinner, or if they stopped to get it on the way to the hospital.

    We sincerely wish Mrs. Worth’s attention to Victorian propriety extended to her escort. It would be so much more lovely with Dr. Cory in evening attire.

  63. Gal Friday
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]


    He’s not a supervillain, but props, too, to Cue in RMMD!

  64. Fashion Police
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    #61, Farley’s Revenge:
    Dr. Cory should be forced to appear on “I Dressed in the Dark” until he gets it right.

  65. gnome de blog
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Aha! The Jake Barnes resolution is still alive! Adrian’s statement that she’ll marry Scott “no matter what” is foreshadowing of the best kind.

  66. gleeb
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    Brenda Starr: Can no one in this family do anything the easy way?

    Archie: The glutton has a dog that is itself a glutton! He also seems to have killed, skinned, and mounted Archie as a trophy.

    ‘bean: So, why does Wally even live here, anyway? Wouldn’t the smart move be to take his back-pay and move to a vibrant city with a strong support system for veterans? I mean, Cancerdeathville has about one vet, him, and it’s not like he knows anyone there, or at least recognizes them. But these are questions that would imply that there’s a coherent plot, and not just a Grand Guignol buildup to horror and violence. And smirking.

    Sam Driver, Bogus Insurance Adjustor!: There we go. There’s been way too much Sam sitting around talking, and not enough intrigue and cheesecake. Hell, even the statuary in panel one ain’t half bad.

    One Big Happy: What she’s really thinking is how stupid he must be to nail a board to his crotch, as he is doing in panel one.

  67. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    You know, if Cue rescues Pearl, Henry, and Becka from revealed-as-bad Tim, driving Becka back into the arms of revealed-as-not-cheating-with-Estelle-Kirkland Peter, I will be nice to Rex Morgan, M.D. for days and days!

    It’s a sweet deal! How about it, Rex Morgan, M.D.?

  68. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    I mean it Batuik, if I find you, you’re going to eat some beer cans.

  69. PeteMoss
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers –

    Rolly Church of Crete! He’s back! Or, at least, recycled.

  70. PeteMoss
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    MW – “He has trouble feeling his right leg/” “Yeah, its like he can barely reach it. When he does reach it, his back gets kinda sore. What do you think, doc?”

  71. PeteMoss
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    JP – I’d like to see leggy D’Vito Widow report Sam to the state bar. Once he gets suspended from his law practice, he can devote himself to celebrity marriage counseling.

  72. Baka Gaijin
    November 10th, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: You know you’re a Plugger when…your grody BO causes your hammer to say “EEE-YEW!”*

  73. Reedzilla
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    most uplifting episode of FW ever…stay tuned tomorrow, when our hero will silently toast the wall with a sneer of self-loathing as he gets to work on all that BEER-brand beer.

  74. Yolm
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Wow, nobody cares about that Barney Google strip… I understand it’s so bland and the drawing’s too horrible to try to read.

  75. Joe Blevins
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I’m pretty sure this strip is for the benefit of newspaper readers who may not be familiar with Marvel mythology and might think, “Holy crap! He’s transmogrifying into pancake batter!”

    MW: What’s that little cupping motion Jeff is doing in panel two? Is this a key into what he’s really thinking? “Yeah, yeah, his right leg is numb… what about the meat and two veg? They’re still attached, right? DAMNIT, WOMAN, I NEED BIOLOGICAL GRANDKIDS!”

  76. Joe Blevins
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    You’ve gotta go some to beat Snuffy Smith. Most people, when directly confronted by a clergyman and asked whether or not they will be attending services that Sunday, would get all sheepish and apologetic. “Oh, uh, hmm, dunno… I’ll, uh… try to make it, uh…”

    But not Snuffy! No, sir! Snuffy knows the short, direct answer to the Parson’s question is no, and he could just say that and walk away. But instead Snuffy — dear, sweet, godless pagan Snuffy — decides, “You know what? I’m gonna fuck with him for, like, thirty seconds. I’ll just openly mock him and his so-called ‘faith’ and then stride off with a big grin on my face.” And that’s what he does. Snuffy Smith — the Richard Dawkins of Hootin’ Holler. Balls of steel, that one.

  77. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Yknow, if you read this whole _Mary Worth_ plot line with added twist that *Jeff* is Scott’s father, then it’s a lot more creepy.

    A lot more interesting, too.

    *And*, it makes more sense in a _Lone Star_ (the movie) kind of way.

    - yeff

  78. mr 12 oz can
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    you think adrian would try to cheer detective scott by telling him not one herorin od has come into the hospital since he pretended to be a minor league umpire in a shootout with guys with flashlight guns . BUT NOOOOOOO soon as she leaves the room she tells her father he has a bad leg as tweetybird just smiles

  79. maryworthless
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    MC – I always loved the “watch for ice” signs in the middle of 100degree heat in August!! Now they’ve changed most of them to “bridge may ice in winter” or something like that!

  80. Ham Gravy
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    RE the Luann musical site, what is the deal with Bernice’s tongue hanging out over the edge of the frame? I mean I know what it makes me think of. It is “upbeat”, as advertised. This is how you sell musicals to high school drama departments?

  81. Stij
    November 10th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Melange? Is Curtis doing a Dune crossover now? If it means that we get to see Barry and Gunk get devoured by a giant sandworm, I’m all for it.

  82. Jess
    November 10th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    #50 thanks for the laugh… my brain attempts to visualize anything I read (which I why I don’t read Marvin) so I now have Mary Worth in a giant banana costume dancing around in my head!

  83. gnome de blog
    November 10th, 2009 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    66 glebe – obviously not. I’m wondering if anybody’s ever going to cut loose the bound and gagged guy out in the shed.

    67 uncle lumpy – I think (hope) that where this story was headed all along was Becka learning that she needn’t be so suspicious of her husband. Maybe after Cue restores order Becka and hubby take a six-month sabbatical to Charterstone for a little marriage counselling from Buttercup Worth and we can get back to the June Morgan bikini-fest.

  84. Elliegal
    November 10th, 2009 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    MW – Jeff is absolutely shitfaced!! Look at his rumpled clothes, sheepish expression and OMG he’s trying to pick up his own daughter…gad.

  85. Farley's Revenge
    November 10th, 2009 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    #64 Fashion Police: Agreed, especially since it does look like he dresses in the dark.

  86. Tazistan Jen
    November 10th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    You all are going to feel pretty sheepish when it turns out Wally is having some guys over to watch the game. Yes indeed. Batiuk is going to be owed some apologies.

  87. hmm
    November 10th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    MW – What happened to the wounded “bad” guys; heroin dealers? I think Adrian should have been on call in the ER tending to them…. now that would have been a good story line or at least a blue-light special….

  88. Esther Blodgett
    November 10th, 2009 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    #86 Tazistan Jen: Right, but the “game” will turn out to be Russian roulette, so we’re back where we started.

  89. mr 12 oz can
    November 10th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    hey #87 nobody cares about details like that no one cares that adrian and scott have said the same bs for the last 2 weeks. fuck no one cares that mary is wearing yellow when she entered the hospital in a purple outfit.

  90. mr 12 oz can
    November 10th, 2009 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    the bad guys always get sent to state hospital i assume #87 not country club hospital like are favorite detective

  91. sugarpie
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    MWorth My God! The glow on Mary’s face! Its the most girlish, eager look I’ve ever seen on her mug. All is revealed. She’s one of those hospital harpies that gets all wet thinking about the maimed and terminally ill. If Scott gets a staph infection she’ll be pulling a train in the nurses’ station. As it is, Jeff’s going to be dealing with a Banana Cream Pie when they get back to Mary’s lair.

    Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled Great new name. Best wishes for years of happy snarking under your new banner!

  92. zerowolf
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    You know your a plugger if you don’t bathe….

  93. heyhey
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    “YORE”- so to show these ignorant bumpkins’ backwoods accent, we phonetically spell a word to sound exactly like the standard pronunciation of the word it’s meant to represent? Furthermore, “yore” is more fully articulated than the more common “yer.”

  94. Judo Throw Toy
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: I love that smug little look on Mary’s face in the last panel. “She’s just a minor pain in the neck? Huh! Adrian is such an amateur.”

  95. Dannymo
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Wowwowwow I got a copy of the Luann script. Wow.


    GIMME A P!


    GIMME A P, E, R, F!


    And walk.
    (TIFFANY and POSSE EXIT as the GIRLS mockingly mimic their saucy strut.)

    LUANN: (Picks up a magazine)
    Anyway, that’s why I got these magazines. No more ordinary for me! Look at this one. It’s completely
    devoted to hair. See, first you gotta get RID of it by shaving, plucking, waxing and bleaching… then
    you gotta get MORE of it by conditioning, mousing, curling and spraying.

    You want your hair to have body but you don’t want your body to have hair.

    And here’s an article on fingernails. It says some guys like long fingernails on girls and some guys hate ‘em.

    BERNICE (Pointing at Luann’s nails):
    Looks like you have something for everyone.

    It sure would be nice to look like this model, instead of so… PLAIN.

    Luann, that model had ten people to make her look good.

    Yeah, you’re not plain. You’re just… understaffed.

    How can you take anything in these magazines seriously? They’re full of contradictions: “Be
    yourself but look like this model. Love your shape but change your shape. Be natural but use all
    this makeup.” What’s it all about?

    It’s about looking your best, Delta. Everyone wants to look good.

    DELTA (Stands up, holding a magazine):
    But what’s “good’? All these rules about what’s in and what’s out, what’s hot and what’s not. It’s nothing
    but confusion! Come here, Luann. I’ll show you.

  96. Poteet
    November 10th, 2009 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    # 34 PattyCake — BWAHAHA!

    And now I just hope I can lose that earworm overnight.

  97. troy macgregor
    November 11th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Making the COTW runners up list yesterday list made my day, too bad I didn’t realize it til now!

    FW- Uh-oh, looks like Wally’s fixing himself up for a Mary Worth-style intervention! Though I’d rather endure all the cancercancerdeath over a bombardment of platitudes anyday!

  98. bats :[
    November 11th, 2009 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    50. queek: oh, yeah! We don’t need PhotoShop for that — all I need is to sit back, close my eyes, and imagine that little banana .gif

  99. Anonymous
    November 11th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @79 maryworthless says: “I always loved the ‘watch for ice’ signs in the middle of 100degree heat in August!! Now they’ve changed most of them to ‘bridge may ice in winter’ or something like that!”

    My favorite all-season bridge sign is “Open joints on bridge”. That always got a chuckle out of me, more so on the way back afterwards.

  100. mcgraw
    November 11th, 2009 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    “He has trouble feeling his right leg?”

    “Yes, they had to cut his arms off.”

  101. Buck Ripsnort
    November 11th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    As a long time Spider-geek, I have to defend Sandy’s honor, which is more than he ever does. He’s actually turning to STONE here, and will undoubtedly tear the vault door off its hinges. Yes, I know steel is stronger than stone. Blame Stan Lee.

  102. Ktrout
    November 11th, 2009 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Mary’s expression in the last panel can only be described as “pleased.” My theory is that she knows further medical complications will be a rich and fruitful territory for her meddling.

  103. Fashion Police
    November 11th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    #89, Mr. Can:
    We feel we have been adequately dutiful in chronicling Mrs. Worth’s numerous changes of clothing since she entered the hospital. Like the virtuous Victorian matron she is, she dresses for every occasion, even when there is no occasion to dress for. As we noted previously, we do wish Dr. Cory was equally assiduous in maintaining proper attire. We would have expected evening clothes at a minimum, since he was dining when he learned of Detective Hewlett’s misfortune.

  104. Toronto
    November 11th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    99: On a long and boring road trip, I once convinced my girlfriend that the highway department sent people out to verify if, indeed, the “bridge freezes before road.” Second year civil engineers, I think.

    But the ambiguous “slow watch for children” signs around Muskoka always get me. If you give them slow watches, won’t they always be late for things?

  105. KCL
    November 11th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Why would snuffy skip out on church on sunday? Their window is a giant game of Simon!

  106. David B
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    MW: You mean…You mean…You mean he might end up walking with a limp? Gasp and horrors! My daughter may end up coupled with someone who’s imperfect in some way!

  107. bluepencil
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Adrian, referring to her wounded fiance: “He’s sleeping now … and he was groggy the last time I spoke to him.”
    Dr. Jeff: “Don’t worry. We’ll see to it he gets the best care possible.”
    Nice knowing you, Det. Hewlett: Scott’s off to the Squad Room in the Sky.

  108. True Fable
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    Sam Driver, Inexplicable Chick Magnet What’s this? Sam Driver, ICM, rattled?!? Well all right! This could prove interesting!

    Fist O Justice Theater Fortunately for Sassy, the Jackelrod ball is made of cream cheese, and the alligator is not lactose intolerant.

    Marmadick The Big Dog is humping the yard?!?

    Mary, Bringer of Meddle Good lord, Adrian; you’ve just presented a banquet to Dr. Jeff. Scott is groggy and sleepy and just ripe for Jeff’s special brand of bedside manners.

    Kit Walker, Lone Ranger Wannabe What the hell is with him?!? He thinks he just lost his wife, so right away he wants to dump his twins off on the president of Matiwan or wherever. What a dick.

    Rex Morgan, MIA Ode to an MD by Truman A. Fable

    Oh, once upon a time
    A doctor once lived here
    He made a few house calls
    He drank imported beer

    He had a hot hot wife
    And was usually in a fix
    For else is a doc to do
    Married to a domanatrix?

    They took a little voyage
    And made friends with a silly man
    But it took a twist and turn
    Just like a trip by Gilligan

    Oh Rex where are you now?
    We miss your ice cream fancy
    And the sight of June in bikinis
    And the fact that you’re kind of nancy

    Come home, Rex; and soon!
    We hate the current story
    We want to see your face
    And June in all her glory

    Wrap up your Caribbean cruise
    And while you’re going through this phase
    Send little Sarah upstairs
    To stay with Chuck from “Happy Days”

    Oh Woody, hear my plea
    Stop this dull nursing home bit
    I want our Rex and June
    Without them, the strip is shit

  109. Victory Garden
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    SHOCKING TWIST: One of the heroin dealers is Ol’ Mustachio Mc”Queenie”! Whatever that guy’s name is! I was even friends with him on Facebook and I still can’t recall his dumb name.

  110. MolyBendum
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    True Fable Your Ode to an MD is outstanding. I’m clapping like a kid in a bike helmet on a short bus.

  111. Marion Delgado
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    In this Season of Luann I feel compelled to share a couple of characterizations from an old foma page:

    Gunther: I loathe him. He’s like a larval Anthony Caine–needy, judgmental, insecure, prissy, pretending to insult himself while looking up through his hands, waiting for someone to say, “Oh no, Gunther! You’re wonderful!”

    Bernice: Bernice was not only romantically interested in her own brother last year, she often hits on Delta! Bernice is the desperate creep of the strip. While everyone else is practicing their half-lidded come-ons that never go anywhere, Bernice is in the corner hiding behind the curtains.

  112. Ace
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    SM: Great Scott! Who would suspect that one of the most infamous supervillains in all of New York would use the exact same powers he’s had for the past 44 years? It boggles the mind, I tells ya.

  113. Crankenstank
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:39 am [Reply]

    Kudos to Judge Parker for working nudity into the first panel. Very classy. Then there’s the second panel to remind you what trashy is like, and the implied third panel of true filth, tastefully left out of actual reader vision. Touche, JP — touche toi-meme.

  114. clahey
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    Jumble: I really wish the answer to the second entry was “trafe”. Of course, then he might not be “wheel” her “iowa”.

  115. Baka Gaijin
    November 11th, 2009 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    #75 Joe Blevins: “Holy crap! He’s transmogrifying into pancake batter!” If this isn’t COTW, it’ll be a first runner up. Ha ha ha ha HA!

  116. Sheila Sternwell
    November 11th, 2009 at 5:32 am [Reply]

    #114 clahey: I do that with Jumble answers all the time. “He might not WINCH her ECHO.” Then I giggle to myself and move on; my time is too important to spend it on thinking.

    MW: So. Again, obvious question, but why is Dr Jeff saying he’ll take care of Scott when Adrian is the one actually employed by the hospital?

    SF: A baby fish is called a fry? That’s bound to cause a lot of confusion. Might as well just call it “lunch” to keep things clear.

    FW: I stopped reading ages ago because Batiuk is a heavy-handed clueless hack. But when people start commenting “OMG he’s doing it again!” I have to go read the strips, as I did this week; at least now I laugh bitterly when I read them instead of the wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

    Anyway, my point is that I can’t believe he thinks this is a good, edgy, or even acceptable story line. Today is Veteran’s Day, and his idea of commemorating it is having a depressed Wally listen to a phone message from people who were trying to help him but who he, apparently, ditched for BEER brand beer.

    I hate how we’re here at this point in Wally’s story and we don’t know what happened between “oh hey you’re home nobody really cares here’s your gravestone bye bye now” and the BEER brand beer purchase. Batiuk can’t juggle his characters effectively, there are too many. Which may explain why he’s trying to kill them all off.

  117. KarMann
    November 11th, 2009 at 5:36 am [Reply]

    @Niall Y#123: On the other hand, don’t ask me to explain today’s B.C. I’m quite befuddled.

  118. True Fable
    November 11th, 2009 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    #116 Sheila Sternwell – I like large casts of characters, as long as they are done right and not just constructed from pure cardboard. Writing for large casts can be done and although it’s not easy, I find it much easier to do than to center a story around only a handful of characters. There’s only so many times Garfield can eat a pan of lasagna in one gulp before it becomes mere rote.

    I’m putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak. However, I no sooner start up my comic strip online and really get it going, when my main computer choked with the Blue Screen of Death. As soon as I get the new computer I ordered, I plan to re-load the comics I was working on and continue. Mouse me, baby.

  119. Mr. O'Malley
    November 11th, 2009 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    FW: I found out something recently. Suppose that you have a husband and wife who want to be buried together. When the first one dies, they cut the gravestone for a flat fee. When the second one dies, additional lettering is so much per letter. So the best deal for the survivor is to have everything but your death date done at first … meaning that you will be able to go out to the cemetery and look at your own name on a gravestone.

    Since I’ve had to become more personally associated with cemeteries, I find I like to visit them more. Nice peaceful places. The only thing I find a little troubling is in 19th century burials to see how many children died … very high rates of infant mortality.

    To come to the point, I’m saying that if I were Wally, I might like to take a 6-pack of BEER brand beer and go out and contemplate my own gravesite for a while, like those old philosophers who kept a skull on their desks as a Memento Mori. Vanitas vanitatum, etc.

    The only problem is that people who run cemeteries don’t really like people hanging there around drinking. Except maybe on Dia de los Muertos, but we are past that for this year.

    But anyway it looks as though Wally is instead drawing the blinds to watch some porn. In another strip, he might be catching up with all the episodes of Dr. Who that he missed while in captivity, but here I doubt it. And he didn’t go to his group. (Too close to Doonesbury and not as good, I’m afraid.)

    One of the few things I liked about the old FOOB was the Remembrance Day strips with Grandpa Jim. I guess those are not slated for a comeback.

    Our family lost people in both World Wars, so I guess that has affected my outlook. Also that’s the reason that I always thought that the Peanuts “Snoopy and the Red Baron” strips were in very poor taste.

  120. Mr. O'Malley
    November 11th, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    EC: Real people that I know who have been in such a situation get earplugs rather than terminate their marriage.

    GA: Unfortunately this is more likely to be some small animal than anything interesting.

    MT: “A big head pops out of the water”. Leaving a trail of dashes behind him? Could it be the first MT/FC crossover?

    MW: It’s a funny thing. The last time I was in hospital, one side of my right leg went numb. Doctors and nurses kept coming around and asking how I felt, and whenever I told them my leg was numb, they just ignored me.

    Apparently they were right, because eventually it went away. Having subsequently done some research on the matter, I believe that during my surgery a particular nerve was damaged, but it recovered later. They could have told me, though.

    So with that in mind, I love how Dr. Jeff has practically pulled out the surgical saw and is totally ready to hack Scott’s leg off. Evidently tort reform has already arrived in Santa Royale.

  121. Doctor Handsome
    November 11th, 2009 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    “Wait, he’s just some jerk who actually turns into sand? I only joined this loser gang to meet the guy from the Apollo Theater.”

  122. ArtisticPlatypus
    November 11th, 2009 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    ‘H-He’s turning into grains of sand!’ exclaims the henchman, shaking his head vigorously. Bigshot, appearantly overwhelmed by the stupidity of this statement, topples and falls backwards.

  123. True Fable
    November 11th, 2009 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    #122 Artistic Platypus – I imagine he’s just stunned because he wasn’t expecting his henchman to reveal himself as Captain Obvious.

  124. Ed Dravecky
    November 11th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    If you’re not too busy quaffing root beer with a WW1 Flying Ace at Bill Mauldin’s house, today is an excellent day to remind folks you know that the USO needs volunteer help to support the brave men and women of the armed forces every single day of the year.

  125. Zamboni_Rodeo
    November 11th, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    GT: Shiv. The word you want here is shiv.

    MW “The best care possible”? So… they’re transferring him to Cedars-Sinai?

  126. gleeb
    November 11th, 2009 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Brenda: How does faking your own death get your hands on your husband’s money? And what ever happened to Pug?

    Dick: “Rarr! Please end this; my mouth is drying out and I’d like to take a nap.”

    ‘bean: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where’re you pulling this “Captain Meadows” out of? You already established that Wally was flown directly back to Cancerdeathville from Afghanistan without back pay, without medical or psych attention, without any facial memory because of some obscure plot-device-condition. You don’t get to start making up stuff now to give your creation verisimilitude when you realize things don’t fit. You made your bed or Procrustes, you lie on it.

    Ziggy: Introducing us to the idea of sex toys for rodents.

  127. CanuckDownSouth
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Remembrance Day unfunnies…

    If someone had told me that Cathy would have a more sensitive and appropriate remembrance of the troops for Veteran’s Day than Funky Winkerbean … well, actually I think I *would* have believed it.

  128. Libertarian
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    If there is a single sentence that has not been uttered in America over the past few years, my guess is that it is, “Corporate crime in America doesn’t pay.”

  129. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @99 – Re: “Watch for Open Joints on Bridge”

    I always assumed this was a warning that the bridge surface was uneven, so you should be sure to finish rolling your joint before crossing so that your stash doesn’t go flying all over the back seat when you hit a bump.

  130. queek
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    98: Platitude and Meddle with a mash-up bats:[ !


    A&J: well played, sir. well played indeed.

    MC: awwwwwww, the OB-GYN is a stork! Ed & Mel, you just keep bringing the win.

    DT: “the tiger and I are friends” should be added to the list of Famous Last Phrases, along with Hold my beer and watch this!

    MT: I’ve seen better alligators while playing Frogger.

    Lio: the character created to get away with things that Dean never could in HotC.

    MG&G: I’m loving this weeks “4th Wall” strips.

  131. UncleJeff
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    126 gleeb: re: Ziggy. At least it’s better than introducing the idea of rodents AS sex toys.

  132. queek
    November 11th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    For those who haven’t already seen it on ICHC:

    Garfield & Jon, the later years

  133. Carrie
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    MW: He can’t feel his leg! Quick, arrange a crossover with 9 Chickweed Lane! They’re all experts in leg-feeling. And when Mary Worth collides with a comic about fucking, there would be some sort of explosion, destroying both strips and creating a better world.

  134. Écureuil Écumant
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @119 Mr. O’Malley says: “If I were Wally, I might like to take a 6-pack of BEER brand beer and go out and contemplate my own gravesite for a while, The only problem is that people who run cemeteries don’t really like people hanging there around drinking.”

    If you were sitting on your own grave while drinking, as in Wally’s case, I suspect the caretaker would probably give you a wide berth.

    “Suppose that you have a husband and wife who want to be buried together. When the first one dies, they cut the gravestone for a flat fee. When the second one dies, additional lettering is so much per letter.”

    Since the wife usually outlives her husband, another good strategy beyond the one you mentioned is for women to marry men with short last names.

  135. maryworthless
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    #119 – When my DH died in 2007, I refused to put my name on the gravestone. We have a double gravestone, and our wedding date is noted – but I could not bring myself to put my name on a grave just yet! Even though I plan to be buried there when the time comes.

  136. Bootsy
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    #119, Mr. O’Malley, you like to wander around cemeteries, especially if you wanna do it with a drink in your hand, visit my town. That sort of thing is practised regularly here.

    MT: I love me a good (oxy)moron! Nothing like QUIET! to scare off your gator.

  137. JustAGuyGuy
    November 11th, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    “I dunno, I guess I thought … he hit people with a Singapore Cane and drank beer on his way to the ring? But this is just a man … who turns into sand … and who calls himself ‘the Sandman.’ I mean … huh. It’s kind of a little too on the nose, isn’t it?”

    …Someone’ll get it, I’m sure.

  138. rachel
    November 11th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    “Who says corporate crime in America doesn’t pay?” nobody. nobody ever said that.

  139. Anonymous
    November 11th, 2009 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    “Will I see you at church on Sunday, Snuffy?”

    “This strip’s been going since Jesus was actually alive, parson. Have you ever seen me at church?”

    “Come to think of it, no.”

    “Then stop asking stupid fucking questions. Also, hail Satan.”

  140. bats :[
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    132. queek: I love this picture. I’m not even going to pretend it’s Jon and Garfield, just two old buddies who revel in each other’s company.

  141. Thorzul
    November 12th, 2009 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    The Sandman’s hair bothers me… not exactly in the same way a Japanese terrace farm irritates me, but in a strikingly similar way.

  142. Gary
    November 12th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    “Did I say his right leg? I meant my right leg. Scott has trouble feeling my right leg but maybe that’s because it shall remain off limits until our magical wedding night which, under the best of circumstances, stil is far, far off into the future.”

  143. LA Steve
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Frank D’Vito’s widow can sit down in that dress, all right, but because it would immediatly ride up around her waist, and all the chairs are upholstered with sticky cold vinyl, she just doesn’t want to.

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