The Comics Curmudgeon

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Soapy Tuesday

Mark Trail, 11/24/09

Rusty may be intensely stupid and hideously deformed, but he knows how the world — specifically, the world of Mark Trail — works. Having literally swung into action to defend an irritating puppy, Bob will have all of his past transgressions forgiven. Anyway, he was only killing and skinning gators to feed his family, as opposed to his more hirsute co-poachers, who were probably using the money to feed themselves, and whatever other non-related individuals they might share their backwoods shacks with, the greedy bastards. Rusty obviously doesn’t want Bob to labor under the misapprehension that there will be consequences for his actions, which is why he’s stage-whispering to Mark well within earshot in panel three.

Still, the point is largely moot, because nobody’s going to jail. Obviously there are no such things as “courts” or “police” or a “criminal justice system” or “institutions of government with a monopoly on legitimate violence” in Mark’s universe. There are only Mark’s fists and the righteous punishment they dish out. This explains why the poachers are just glumly sitting around the swamp; having been punched, their villainy has been drained away, and they are hollow of motivation and await further instructions.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/24/09

Cue may be intensely stupid and have dumb piercings, but give him this: he is a total fanatic about referring to his sad little trailer as his “crib.” Here, he almost seems to be using the word as an act of defiance: “Yeah, all you squares might look down your nose at ol’ Cue, just because I deal weed and hold old people for ransom. Well, you know what? I won’t use some bourgeois term for a dwelling, you hear me? I won’t! You can put me in jail, but you can’t stop me from calling my cell a ‘crib.’”

Apartment 3-G, 11/24/09

Well, it looks like the staff of I Dressed In The Dark met with complete and total failure in their attempt to gussy up Tommie. I visualize wave after wave of highly trained makeover artists charging at her, only to watch their best efforts vanish beyond Tommie’s event horizon of blandness. At least they convinced Ruby that her ridiculous hair ribbons should complement her outfit, rather than being the exact same color as everything else she has on.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 10:09 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D..

204 responses to “Soapy Tuesday”

Muffaroo
November 24th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

archie – The return of Medium-Sized Ethel.

Crock – Facts of life? How long can it take to tell little Otis that life stinks and he has nothing to look forward to except endless, smelly labor and marriage to a shapeless lump in a bag?

Dick – “I’ve had my fill of cotton candy, clowns and conspiracies.” “Time to move on to dentists, drug dealing, and dynamite.”

Hägar – Oh, that Lucky Eddie. His concerns are always so darn inappropriate! They should call him Inappropriate Eddie. Or maybe Fucking Boring Eddie, though that honorific could justly be applied to everybody in the strip.

Judge – “Well, all I can say, Mrs. D’Vito, is that I’d better meet somebody else soon, or you’re going to be the guilty party by default. That’s how it works in this business.”

Luann – It’s time for everybody to stop staring at Quill’s package.

Marfield – The Curse of Crankshaft is spreading.

Mr. O’Malley @9 – May I see… your passport… please?

nicky @y11 – I’ll remember not to buy any stupid nike shoes, thanks. Now disappear.
Muffaroo
November 24th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

(Obviously, it was Mr. O’Malley @y9…)
Écureuil Écumant
November 24th, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

FW: Stuff ‘n’ nonsense!

A3G: “I met hiim at a rehearsal dinner for one of my brides.” Same-sex polygamy. I knew it was just a matter of time. I just never expected it’d be A3G that went there.

9CL: When I bring together the words “sing” and “enemy”, this is a little closer to what I envision.
anty a
November 24th, 2009 at 10:18 am [Reply]

A3G: My impression was that the ladies were going to get a call if they were chosen for the show. Neither one of them has gotten a makeover yet.
dyslexic dog
November 24th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Unfortunately, the Disembodied Claw is about to rip off Rusty’s face.
BoulderDan
November 24th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Luann: I can’t wait to see TJ’s flirting with Quill this week. That is if Greg Evans has the guts to be true to TJ’s character.
Écureuil Écumant
November 24th, 2009 at 10:20 am [Reply]

A3G: In an inspired crossover from Sunday’s MT, Ruby accessorizes with kelp.
ladadog
November 24th, 2009 at 10:24 am [Reply]

A3G: Ruby’s makeover plan backfired. When Professor Papagoras sees that Ruby’s hair bow no longer is the color of rice pudding, not only will be ignore her, but, he’ll recoil in revulsion.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 24th, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Yester-congrats to all the funny float riders!

MW: After all he’s been through, shouldn’t Scott be a little more…. withered? Instead, he has soft, rounded arms, and rosy, fleshy thighs; he’d be in perfect health if he were a 19-year-old girl.

MT: “You’re right, Rusty. I will talk to my ranger friend, and we will get started on subverting the local and federal legal statutes. Of course, we might need to do some legal research; I will have Andy get right on it!”

And Rusty, get your tiny, deformed hand away from your face; who do you think you are—Adrian Cory?

A3G: To be fair to Ruby, headbands with bows and flowers are actually pretty stylish right now; this is what one learns when one teaches affluent college freshmen. Then again, I don’t see my students with large, flat Christmas-present bows lying on top of their heads, coordinated with a jaunty, matching cravat. Now, Ruby, if you were wearing a keffiyeh, you’d be on to something.
skullcrusherjones
November 24th, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

Fist O’ Justice don’t give out probation. Or learn good grammar none.
Dingo
November 24th, 2009 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Looking at Tommie Thompson today, I realize how David Letterman would look in drag.
ArtisticPlatypus
November 24th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

I’m terribly sorry, my little friend, but turtles can’t go to prison. I’m afraid you’ll have to live in the same forest as Mark Trail for a long, long time.
dyslexic dog
November 24th, 2009 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Another scary image of Tommy Thompson.
It's time to pay the price
November 24th, 2009 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Mark, you can’t let Mr. Jackson go to jail after what he did. You know that by Lost Forest law he must be subjected to the same treatment he put animals through. You get the gun, I’ll get the skinning knife and the shoe-making kit.
Alan's Addiction
November 24th, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Actually, I doubt anyone goes to jail in the “Mark Trail” universe because Mark doesn’t know about jails, the courts, or the police. I doubt Mark has the mental faculties to understand such higher-order concepts as “justice,” or “due process.” If we let today’s Rusty/Mark exchange continue past that last panel, it might look something like this: “Mark, you can’t let Mr. Jackson go to jail after what he did!” “Go where?” “Jail, Mark, we’ve talked about it before. It’s where bad people are taken so they don’t continue to hurt society or alligators.” “Impossible, Rusty, my fists are the only things that punish evil-doers.” “No, Mark, there’s actually… Never mind. Let’s just go home before the cops arrive and arrest us for aggravated assault.”
Speaking of justice, I like the message that the latest “Rex Morgan” story sends to the readership; “Don’t ever try to help anyone! Opening your door for frightened, lost elders will only result in your inevitable arrest, so the only safe thing to do in today’s society is maintain a constant level of crippling paranoia.”
I would like to know if Tommie will ever realize that she’s some sort of minor character in a larger universal theme/story that is consistently cruel to her, like the titular characters in “Rosencrantz and Gildenstern Are Dead.” That would be the only way to explain the vicious irony that she drove Ruby to that gruesome reality-show audition, gave a heart-felt plea for help to the producers, was callously turned away, and somehow someone with an even less interesting life was selected over her. Tommie’s only hope from the conclusion that God hates her is to realize how horrible those garish green paper napkins Ruby’s been accessorized with look.
Professor Fate
November 24th, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

FW: becuase we have always sold Band Turkeys – you fathers and forefathers sold band turkeys, indeed the founders of this town before they succumbed to cancer sold band turkeys to the Indians.

And these are locally grown turkeys – the farm is on the outskirts of town on the site of the abandoned Chemical plant and uranium mine.

I don’t see your problem.
worthinator
November 24th, 2009 at 11:15 am [Reply]

Cue is under arrest? What for? What he did may have been laudable, but I don’t see that it was a crime. He wasn’t holding anyone against their will; he didn’t even lie to anyone. If Cue only knew a lawyer, I bet he could file a suit for false arrest…
Bart
November 24th, 2009 at 11:18 am [Reply]

MT – I think that the turtle in the 2nd panel is a metaphor for the next MT storyline emerging from the goo. The pacing is about right too.
MolyBendum
November 24th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Apartment 3G It never occurred to me before now, but I can never stick a bow in my hair and hope someone calls me gorgeous. On the other hand, I’d probably make a more convincing woman than Ruby, so maybe I’ll give it a shot someday.

Archie Archie cocks an eyebrow and a finger at Jughead and says “What’s the deal?”. He couldn’t look more like a douche if they’d drawn a nozzle in place of his head.

Crock OK, Otis, here’re the facts of life for you: you live in the semi-fluid desert surreality of an unfunny comic strip in a dying medium and your poorly drawn parents are an ankle-titted, burka wearing heifer named ‘Grossie’ and a ditch-digging, shirtless scumbag named ‘Maggot’. Now go forth and multiply you fat, Waldo-looking, cardboard cutout little fucker.

Pluggers No. Normal dudes who are bored and half-lit on Sunday afternoon cut coupons out of the paper and then go shopping and forget to use them. I do that. “A Plugger holds up the grocery line for 45 minutes while they root through their purse for a coupon to save 15¢ on a box of Kleenex”, that is what Pluggers do. And they should be shot for it.
Laocoon
November 24th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Today’s issue of Marvin is meant to show that a mother is essential to the workings of a family, and also that homosexual marriage is just silly
Shlomo
November 24th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

In panel 2, Cue would have brought more dignity to his arrest by saying “and I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for those meddling old people”. Of course, nothing really will dignify Rex Morgan.
MolyBendum
November 24th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan When you live in a portable house and get carted off to jail, what happens to it? Do they impound your house? Also, I wonder if anyone will try to rape Cue’s extra holes while he’s in prison. “Boy, you better shut the fuck up or I’ll fuck your nostril raw!” It’ll be a hot time in the hoosegow tonight, fer sher.
Écureuil Écumant
November 24th, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

MT: “I was poaching”. No, his pricking conscience aside, Bob’s conduct doesn’t rise to the level of “poaching”. I doubt, given the documented evidence, that he’d even be guilty of intent to poach.

I guess they could charge him with “conspiracy to commit poaching” on the basis of being in the same swamp on the same night. In which case, methinks Dame Justice needs to pluck her chin hairs right peart.
StriderGirl
November 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Re: Écureuil Écumant’s comment at # 7.

Thank you for totally cheering up my morning! That’s the first time I’ve ever actually done a spit-take from laughing so hard. I’m still giggling!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

15 Alan’s Addiction, re: A3G: Hmmm—with some minor alterations, it pretty much works:

Rubycrantz: Did you ever think of yourself as virtually dead, trapped in a serial comic strip?
Tommiestern: No.
Rubycrantz: Nor do I, really. It’s silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a serial comic strip. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one might as well be dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn’t it? I mean, you’d never *know* you were in a serial comic strip, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a serial comic strip. Not that I’d like to exist in a serial comic strip, mind you. Not without any air. You’d wake up bland and ridiculous for a start, and then where would you be? In a serial comic strip. That’s the bit I don’t like, frankly. That’s why I don’t think of it. Because you’d be helpless, wouldn’t you? Stuffed in a serial comic strip like that. I mean, you’d be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you’re stuck wearing a bright green head bow. It isn’t a pleasant thought. Especially if you’re forced to enact attraction to a rice-pudding eating, head-shrinking quack, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, “I’m going to stuff you in this serial comic strip. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?” naturally, you’d prefer to be dead. Death is better than life in a serial comic strip, I expect. You’d have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, “Well, at least I’m not stuck in ‘Apartment 3G.’ ”
Tommiestern: Huh?
Croc
November 24th, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

I like the turtle in Mark Trail. Turtles are guuuuud.
Patrick
November 24th, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Today’s Apartment 3-G looks like an art class exercise in drawing facial lines to indicate advanced age.
commodorejohn
November 24th, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

A3G – I Dressed In The Dark is apparently using Ruby as a test subject for the new breakthrough in feminine hygiene: ear-mounted spare tampons.

Bizarro – Fashion Police, is it proper to wear cuffs (let alone cufflinks) with a hooded robe and scythe?

Crankshaft – So you know what I just realized? These snooty upper-class neighbors? They’re the neighbor couple from Christmas Vacation, aren’t they?

Curtis – So it looks like Curtis is gearing up for a Thanksgiving discord storyline, too. Thankfully, Curtis is at least 75% less likely to have a horrifying Oedipal subtext than Luann.

DT – F(*%$*^&^&*&;’[\”/,ING FINALLY.

FW – “Because it’s TRADITION, you little ingrate! You snot-nosed punks think you can just waltz into our strip and change things up whenever the hell you feel like it? You will sell turkeys, you little worm, and you will damn well LIKE it! Praise Batiuk!”

JP – You know, now that we’ve got the rimshot button, we really need a “muted trumpet riff” button.

Luann – Oh joy. Looks like we’ll get two “Nancy deGroot lusts after a man twenty-plus years her junior” stories for the price of one, with a side of “and one of them is her own son” thrown in! On the up side, though, if some of the Australians I know are any indication, TJ may have just marked himself for having his smug rictus punched off his face.

MT – You know how, in about every third kids’ movie ever made, there’s the one reluctant henchman? You know how as soon as he declares his change in allegiance, his entire past with the world-conquering, hero’s-parents-murdering villain becomes null and void? Yeah.

MW – So…let’s see. Scott was shot! four times, one in the shoulder, one in the back of the head, one in the back of the knee, and one in his chest, the only area where his little life-preserver Kevlar vest provided any actual protection. I’m no ballistics expert, but…if the bullets were underpowered enough to where a completely unarmored headshot didn’t do any kind of serious damage, why would the shoulder or knee shots cause enough harm to actually need physical therapy? “Piece of cake” indeed.

NAOQV – So very, very true.

Phantom – Ruby might be trying out the tampon earrings, but Mrs. President Lamanda goes one better: she totes fortune cookies around with her, just in case an impromptu stir-fry should suddenly break out.

RMMD – I’m beginning to wonder if Rex Morgan doesn’t take place in a universe like Judge Parker’s, where the main characters and their associates have the police at their beck and call and can never be questioned.

SM – Spider-Man: because the best way to write a storyline is to every possible and bleedingly obvious resolution except the one that drags things out the longest.
Larry McAwful
November 24th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

It doesn’t seem that enough cartoonists hang with real underworld characters to really get a feel for tough slang. This has always been true, I think. Not that any of you asked for it, but here’s Cue’s dialogue as it would have appeared in Rex Morgan, circa 1954:

Hey–Those cats were holed up in my pad before I blew in! (Hey–They were in my crib when I got home!>

So what if I tried to pull in some iron men? I didn’t want this scene, Jim! (What’s wrong with wanting a reward? I didn’t ask for this!)

Like, when I pulled a creep, those squares were saucing a little on the much side! (Look, when I left them, they were having a drink–livin’ it up!)

If you approve, snap your fingers accordingly, daddio.
Jacob
November 24th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Wait, ‘no reason to keep you’? Recommending Adrian take care of the physical therapy sessions? Has the good doctor already gotten enough of Scott’s supple thighs?
MolyBendum
November 24th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Mark Trail Somewhere in Bizarro LoFo, the fully bearded Kram has just concluded a caper where he, his handsome young lad and their pet alligator plundered the meadows for puppy carcasses while carrying on an intelligent, non-bolded conversation with bald industrial CEOs.
jayjaybear
November 24th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, Ruby…considering just how much “fruit” the wedding business bears, I’m guessing her “date” is going to take her to a Broadway show, with a late dinner at this little place on Christopher Street in the Village…
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

A3G: Well, stick a bow in my hair and call me Ruby! …Same old Ruby…

MT: “Ol’ Bob will be okay, Rusty. The man has no sideburns… no facial hair to speak of. No jury on earth would convict him.”

RMMD (said with folksy charm):
Well, it’s time to say goodbye to good ol’ Cue, the sensible, ultimately innocent thug. The man just wanted a reward for good work, he did. He never asked for this. His only crime (well, besides dealing drugs) was doing the reward thing a bit backwards. Asking for it in advance is not the correct way, folks. People just don’t have the common sense to understand the desire to get what is truly coming to them.

So we say adios to our good friend, his life ruined by venal nursing home executives, their incompetant staff, and the overzealous offspring of the old folks. His only offense (with the aforementioned backwards-reward-asking, and, of course, dealing drugs) was caring too much and holding a crooked facility responsible for its actions. And he pays a heavy price for his “crime”. Timothy, I hope you’re proud of yourself now! (*sigh*)

Cue, here’s hoping for a quick release. We’ll keep a light on for ya.
Edgy DC
November 24th, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

No, wait, something’s wrong. Tommie is more than boring here. Did 25 years pass between panels one and two?
Niall
November 24th, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Holy crap I’m on the float!! Worse yet: I’d forgotten I had made that comment, and chuckled it at and blinked. I said that?? Also, it must be near the end of the year, it’s the only time I make the float.. #3 now! :) :)

I obviously didn’t read any mid-week snark as many of them were new to me. Funny funny stuff! (How’d I get on there??)

Y23 Iadadog (and YY Poteet too): Thanks for the kind words on my video. Oatmeal-burning? Aw, now I feel a little bad…

Y28. queek: If there wasn’t Norm/Rex before, there will be now… You know how the game goes.

19. MolyBendum: I full agree with you on Pluggers. I have to, otherwise I too get hit with the wave of nusea of “holy crap am I a Plugger now?” I went to buy my bed and when putting the receipt in my pocket, found the $50 rebate coupon I had brought. When I bought cleaning supplies at Canadian Tire I finally remembered to bring all my CT money – and forgot I had it until I put my hand in an unusual pocket where I had put them. (Of course, the mattress store was able to process the coupon since it was immediately after buying, and I had to return a crappy mop to Canadian Tire and get a better one so I used the coupons then. Though found new ones when cleaning. As a true Canadian, there’s always more CT money lying around somewhere. You are never free of it.)

25. bourbon babe: I so need to read that play some day.

Oh, and general call to Baka Gaijin: Dick Tracy is now ~~safe to peruse~~ clown-free.
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#1 – Muffaroo, RE: Hagar, specifically, Lucky Eddie

Muff, you misunderstand Eddie. He alone is responsible for saving Hagar’s life weekly. Disguised as an unassuming lightweight, he has the power to violently dispose of hundreds of adversaries at a time. He is Thor, God of Thunder. He is Ares, God of War incarnate. How often have you seen Hagar and Eddie at the brink, being closed in on by a swarm of angry soldiers? Why don’t Hagar and Eddie surrender? Why does the enemy army not kill them outright? They witnessed Eddie destroy ten times thier number before he was surrounded. He is so confident of victory over the few paltry remaining forces that he is able to think of irrelevant or banal minutae at times like this. He is the Angel of Death, appetite for destruction. Too bad all of this cool shit happens off-strip and is never mentioned. Blame that on his boss, Hagar, for not wanting to appear weak in his own comic.
Larry McAwful
November 24th, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

Did anyone ever see the Twilight Zone episode where Tommie finds out that Ruby is actually her, traveled from the distant future, to warn her that she needs to live, live, LIVE! before it’s too late, but she never learns the lesson?
The good ship thetis
November 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

The eleventh commandment: sooner or later every Gil Thorp plot must circle around to teenage drinking.
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

Poacher Bob is going to go free, but Cue is getting 5-10 in lockup? It’ aint right.

I’m starting the FREE CUE movement now, if anyone is interested. The first meeting will be in my basement bar. An unidentified high-proof liquor will be served from a small flask and drug deals will be unfortunately denied. Don’t tell your loved ones where you are going, because it’ll ruin the surprise when I phone them asking for ~~ransom~~ a finder’s fee.
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Dammit, I shouldn’t have said “in my basement bar”, I should have said “in my crib”. Come on down anyway, and don’t offer me golf lessons. Do I look like I take golf lessons???
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 24th, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

35 Niall—Yes, read R&G—and if you ever have the chance to see it performed, do so—smart, absurd, and hysterically funny (a winning combination—and, as I write that, I realize that it’s WORLDS away from the Tommie n Ruby show).

(And: congrats!)
Écureuil Écumant
November 24th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

MW: Better vacate, Scott. You’ve ambulated, you’ve taken an unaided shit, and the Utilization Management coordinator just wrote your discharge order.

Outpatient PT will certainly be necessary for the elbow contracture you picked up by lying flat on your back with your arm in a sling for two months. We’ll take care of those adhesions in, oh, five seconds or so. *rrrrrriiiipppp!!!* There, all better now.
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

3. Écureuil Écumant re FW: oh, VERY nice! Just like a real smart-alecky teen, too.
(Har! on #7. comment, too!)

Cul de Sac: is Big Shirley a specific breed of dog…lupin…whatever? Or is she more of a Wendigo creature — no one has ever quite seen one, so the details are a bit fuzzy in the relating (or only in Alice’s mind is Big Shirley actually big).
She looks like a Schipperke on steroids. Lots of steroids.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 24th, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: Wouldn’t it be a pip if the guy Ruby met at the rehearsal dinner were actually the groom? Oh, who am I kidding. Only Margo pulls stuff like that. Say, where is the Margmonster? Is her actress holding out for more money?

SFx: That dog is pissed, and you can see why. “Hey! Why does the cat get opposeable thumbs when I don’t?”

Ziggy: “I mean that hula dancer is in real good shape. There oughta be a law. Hey, you might want to reupholster your seats now.”

Popeye: Yeah, he’s still running the machines in his factory. That’s because he doesn’t know you sabotaged it. Just sayin, a note might be nice.

Archie: At first I thought Big Ethel was gabbing about her trip to the “omelet mall.” But Jughead would probably listen in rapt attention if that were so.

JP: I don’t get it. DiVito never confided in his wife? If he didn’t feel like he could confide in her, why did he marry her? Does she have something else going for her?

BB: “Oh yeah, Ingrid! I saw you after our ‘date’ and you’d gotten really fat. Then the next time I saw you there was a kid with you, looked like me without the mustache. Anyway, kudos on dropping the lbs.”

Phantom: The kids remind you of the creepy guy standing in your house looking guilty? High praise indeed.

GT: Duncan has his brother’s ID. His brother the convicted felon. I fail to see how this could go wrong.

Marvin: No, guys. No cooking the turkey on the backyard grill. You start stealing barbecue disaster schtick from Crankshaft, he may get his own back by crapping his pants.
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

26. Croc: well, that’s what the turtles would have you believe. They’re a tricky lot.
(Actually, I love turtles; I had a mature female slider for only a month or so this summer, and I miss her. She was a master of escape, so I hope she found her way into another yard.)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 24th, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

43 bats:[ —I saw a Big Shirley in the parking lot of the Petsmart last week: a huge, hulking mass of black dog. So I’d say that Big Shirley is at least possible.
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

28. commodorejohn: you mean this?
Darkefang
November 24th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

A3G: Yikes. Somewhere in that apartment is a portrait of a very young version of Tommie.

DT: Well, that circus storyline is officially over. And what exactly was the purpose of the FBI agent during that entire plot? We spent two or three days being introduced to her, then she contributed absolutely nothing to the story once she arrived at the circus.

I’d also like to point out that nobody died. We sit through weeks of terrible dialogue, incomprehensible plotlines and awful artwork in anticipation of the payoff: Dick brutally murdering the suspects. This time we got jack squat.

JP: If there’s one thing Sam Driver knows, it’s that sexy women do two things. They do paperwork, light filing and housework for Sam. The rest murder rich men. And Stella ain’t doing any filing.
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

# 7 Écureuil — Bwahaha!
Black Drazon
November 24th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

While her facade of happiness remains, and for all I know may not even be a facade on some level, Tommie does seem to have prematurely aged ten, twenty years during moments that others find personal happiness. No wonder she lives with Margo, who is only happy at the suffering of others.
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I do feel sorry for Cue, if for no other reason that he’s been, by far and away, the most interesting character in this story-arc. I’d take his arrest as a hopeful sign that the Morgans are back in town (soon!), but I’m not pinning my hopes on it, since it’s way too likely that:
* there’s going to be a confrontation between Tim and the nursing home owner…again.
* there’s going to be a long, drawn-out, heart-to-heart between Tim and Becca.
* there’s going to be some resolution/further plotting along, trying to find Tim’s mom and her beau (hint: dredge the bottom of the golf course’s water hazards).
* there’s UNLIKELY to be any follow-up on the intriguing “mystery mouth” who clued Cue in about the missing old folks.

Sigh.

Although the Morgans had batted around the idea of a cruise long before they set off on one (interrupted by Rex’s Sailing Adventure on the Bay!), 22 November 2008 is the date when the Morgans set off on the flight that took them to the start of their ~~Butt~~ Pirates of the Caribbean Extravaganza!
I’m just too disheartened to look up the last day we saw either Rex or June…
commodorejohn
November 24th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#47 bats :[ – No, the “sexy” muted trumpet riff, the thing Tom Servo/Kevin Murphy does so well.
Joe Blevins
November 24th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

MT: C’mon, Mark Trail, we all know how slow the plotlines in story strips move! You don’t have to show an actual turtle laboriously trudging across the frame.

A3G: I think this is Ruby’s roundabout way of saying she’s finally found a gay man who appreciates her ironically.
mollificent
November 24th, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Luann: Yup, Toni seems to be undressing Quill with her eyes. Well, you had a good run, Brad. Well…you had a run, Brad. Well…more like a sedate walk.

MW: Dude! Put some pants on, fer crying out loud! What is this, Ziggy?
AndyL
November 24th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe they’ve totally dropped the makeover plot line.

This comic strip is such a tease.

Why must Tommie Thompson be so much like (newspaper) Peter Parker? She is given the beginning of one interesting plot after another, and she always manages to resolve them in the most mundane way possible!
Why can’t she be more like Margo? Margo was given the most mundane premise ever, and she wound up meeting the Dalai Lama!
Bart
November 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

#53 Ha, ha, I had the same thought, Joe (#18)
AndyL
November 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

I don’t see why Josh is so suprised by the turn of events in Mark Trail.

Anyone with even the slightest cartoon education knows that while good guys need money for important things like food,shelter, and their children’s education, bad guys will invariably either spend their money on vauge poorly defined drug-like substances, or they’ll simply hoard it, in the form of cash or precious metals and gemstones, and cackle about how much they’ve managed to hoard.

They and their families are supported through some, other, somewhat mysterious mechanism.
Uncle Lumpy
November 24th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

@51 bats :[ –

I’m just too disheartened to look up the last day we saw either Rex or June…

June 28– cruising off into the Sunday sunset with a promise to “do better than try” to have another child.

I can’t imagine what’s taking them so long.
Comcis Fan
November 24th, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

S4th: I’m assuming that Ted Forth is not going to smother his father with the throw pillow, rather he will use it to shield himself from the barbed stares of his wife when we repairs to the kitchen to request a sandwich. Ted knows that his father believes a real man would never make a sandwich in the kitchen, and woe be to Ted should he try to convince him otherwise. Yep, better to cuddle that pillow and take his chances with Sally. And now we have a much clearer picture of the dysfunction and resultant neuroses that led Ted to Sally … and to Sally’s mother.
The Man Himself
November 24th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Why must Mark Trail always contain an innoocent cipher who just happens to be coereced into polutting/poaching/dog fighting/insufficient nature reverence to feed/save his wife/family/dog. This world of grey areas and moral ambiguity where regular folks are forced through circumstance and nescessity to commit evil acts for a good purpose has no place in my Mark Trail. My Mark Trail is about a clean cut vigillante who happens to live near the largest concentration of poachers in North America, who wanders the woods talking to no one in particular about the effects of industrial fishing on the international kelp supply and who isn’t the least bit concerned with things like “assualt” and “battery”. I want Mark Trail to face evil pure and unmitigated and punch it square in its evil face, fracturing its evil jaw and requiring it to drink evil Ensure for all meals for 6 to eight weeks.
Will
November 24th, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Today’s is the first Get Fuzzy that I’ve laughed at in a long, long time.
GT: It looks like “The Ghost” is about to get busted. And am I the only one that thinks that nickname is uncomfortably close to a racist slur?
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

58. Uncle Lumpy: good point. Shouldn’t it have been something like six and a half minutes?
NoVan
November 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

JUSTICE FOR CUE! What did he ever do wrong? Besides the marijuana?
commodorejohn
November 24th, 2009 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

If loving Cue is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
CanuckDownSouth
November 24th, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

TO: all “serial strip” cartoonists

SUBJECT: justice system

NOTE: Police procedures, legal requirements for lawyers, and the definition of what constitutes a crime are not “whatever I pull out of my butt”.

This is true even if it seems right to you in a cosmic-justice way. Just because somebody is “bad” does not mean they go to jail if there’s no evidence they’ve committed a crime. Nor does somebody “good” get to avoid the consequences of past misdeeds.

EXCEPTIONS: Clearly fictitious countries / kingdoms can have ill-defined and/or arbitrary rules (Phantom clause).

The Bookworld Humour SubCommittee of the CoG is still deliberating whether the dadaist artwork of Dick Tracy makes it sufficiently clear that the story takes place in a world with different physical laws, therefore a fictitious alternate reality subject to the Exception.
Carly
November 24th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Soooo, Ruby is working in the wedding business in order to meet single, desperate guys who realize this is the fourth wedding they’ve been to this year, none of which are their own. Margo may be rubbing off – we can only hope so.
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

RMMD — I’m not a big fan of piercings, but on Cue, they seem to work. At least they look no worse to me than Ruby’s hair ribbons, the poachers’ long sideburns, and Adrian’s alleged “hands.”
Calico
November 24th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

#59 – I think Ted is contemplating a Chief Broom move.
Red Greenback
November 24th, 2009 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

#64-commodorejohn: I wish I hadn’t just taken a sip of java when I read that! Ouch, my squeaky nostrils!
Old School Allie Cat
November 24th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

MT – I don’t really follow Mark Trail so I guess my question is, whose hand is that carressing Rusty’s cheek?

Luann – Old Double Standard Mama Degroot – Sonny Boy can’t date a pretty gal because she’s not trustworthy, but Luann can drag home any himbo that crosses her path? Come on! Also, I think it’s adorable that Brad is wearing his Barney Fife costume. Sheesh! That Toni and her Don Knotts fetish.
dyslexic dog
November 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Luann – So-o-o-o, is it one guy out, or one girl out?
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

DT — I sure hope the next (you should pardon the word) “story” will be at least marginally better than this one. It’s hard to imagine how it could be worse.
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

9CL: Singing as interrogation? Wow — our 21st century intelligence people could’ve avoided all that waterboarding “torture” brouhaha (brouhaha?) just by being horny girl-power male cartoonists.

BBlues: I’m reminded of the Twilight Zone sketch from the 1979 Rick Nelson-hosted SNL. Thanks, Kirkman & Scott! :o)

Curtis: Bone’s Fone Bone replies: “With all the trouble MY cousins get me into, I wouldn’t complain about some mere snobs and slobs if I were you, Mr. Wilkins. Try Phony and Smiley on for size, then get back to me, kid.”

DT: “Had your fill of circuses, Tracy?” Well, I know WE have!

FC: “Adults suck!”

FW: She is serious — she’s not smirking. (actually, all the smirks seem to have been replaced with huge, ugly grins lately. Not really an improvement)

GF: “Bucky’s head doesn’t feel right” — Rob just summed up Get Fuzzy entirely.
Steve the Pocket
November 24th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

And the comics continue to steal the turkey-on-the-grill gag from Sunday’s Marvin. Today’s offender…. Marvin??? Oh no, don’t tell me we’re getting the old “Sunday strip is just a compressed version of that week’s story” thing now. Look what you’ve started, Mary Worth. I hope you’re happy.

(Or was it Judge Parker? I admit I don’t read the soaps except when they’re featured here, but I remember someone pointing it out in a comment a while back.)
Soccerhead
November 24th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

marvin: So nobody thought when they were in the store turkey shopping, “Uh, is this gonna fit in the microwave?”
FW: Maddie has to go door to door selling turkeys 2 days before T-day?
Is she afraid her arm is gonna fall off doing
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 24th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

#65 canuckdownsouth,
You mean a corporate whistleblower-turned-ringmaster can’t be sent up for blackmailing just because an evil clown says he was blackmailing everybody? I think I feel the ground shfiting under my feet.
David B
November 24th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Luann: After years of putting up with his wife’s infidelities, Frank DeGroot just doesn’t care anymore. All that’s left for him is to remind his wife that while he accepts the terms of their marriage, he still doesn’t really like it.
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Other Coast: Now that’s how Mikey Patterson’s book deal should’ve gone!

JP: “That sounds too difficult, ma’am. I know — we can just pin it on some guy named Cue.”

PBS: If you want real insightfulness, change panel one’s dialogue to, “(This study) says if you want to convince someone that an idea of yours is widely accepted, you just need to do a ’study’ on it”, and leave it at that.

Ghost-Who-Abandons: Strong like Kit and Diana. Hell, the boy has an adult physique like Kit.

S-M: A sandstorm — or, as MST3K put it: “Deeeeeeeeeep Hurrrrrrrrtingggggg!” Next: Spidey climbs rocks.
Joe Blevins
November 24th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Re: #56 Bart

Whoops! At first I wondered if you meant the turtle-as-metaphor-for-the-pace-of-Mark-Trail thing or the Ruby’s-boyfriend-is-gay-and-appreciating-her-ironically-as-an-example-of-classic-Susan-Sontag-style-campiness thing.

Turns out you meant the turtle one.
Sister Sestina
November 24th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

To all Curmudgeons who read Pluggers and quiver in sweat for fear you might be one of them, just because one day’s strip bear an uncanny resemblance to your life:

Think of a day’s panel as one question on a “How Do You Know If You’re a…” test, where at the end they have a range key. So for the week: 0-2, not a plugger. 3-4, shows signs of plugging up. 5 and above, people-of-Walmart entry.

Hope this relieves global tension.
CanuckDownSouth
November 24th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

#76-artistFKaB – well, the committee is still debating that one. Feeling the ground shift, however, is a good sign, as it means you may be regaining contact with the reality the serial comics’ warped view of justice, anatomy, and timeflow have been drawing you away from.
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

#76 (AFKA Ben): Sure is different from the Rex Morgan Universe, where all you have to do to is claim someone is a blackmailer, and they immediately are!

…Right on Cue (*hides*).
gleeb
November 24th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

17 (Worthinator, re: Cue): And Tim, the man who loves to choke people, the guy with a line of patter even creepier than Les Moore, is a free man. Take a long moment and let that sink in.
Aviatrix
November 24th, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

I feel cheated by the omission of the RMMD panels showing how the person who was the victim of trespassing and assault in his own crib is now the one being pushed into back of the police cruiser.
Larry Fine
November 24th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

DT — And so probably the lamest story arc in Dick Tracy history comes to an end. That whirring sound you hear is Chester Gould spinning in his grave.
Écureuil Écumant
November 24th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

@48 Darkefang says: “DT: And what exactly was the purpose of the FBI agent during that entire plot? We sit through weeks in anticipation of the payoff: Dick brutally murdering the suspects. This time we get jack squat.”

I think you pretty much answered your own question. But in one respect you’re a bit ahead of the game. The upcoming storyline involves midget auto mechanics, so next time we get Jack Squat.

SF: Sally and Ol’ Lady Forth (yep, two different folks) have it easy this Thanksgiving. They only have to prepare the ucken. The turd’s already well-done and sitting in the parlor.
Uncle Lumpy
November 24th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#82) – Rex Morgan, M.D. – “Right on Cue — Wrong on America.”
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

DT: And the plot (?) wraps up just like that? Just when it was getting good?

Rex-minus-Rex: Arrested based on the scent of Tim’s mother’s perfume lingering about his crib? FREE CUE NOW!
What about Tim turning vigilante and pushing in to Cue’s trailer and throttling him? No repercussions? The man has facial hair. FREE CUE NOW!
Actually, Cue was very careful in what he asked for, and it was legally structured as a finder’s fee negotiated in good faith with the home director. He did not prevent his uninvited guests from leaving of their own free will. Isn’t that the basis for making kidnapping illegal? FREE CUE NOW!

A3G: “I met him at the rehersal dinner.”
“And is he related to the bride?”
“He’s the groom’s dad.”
“Ruby, isn’t he marr–?”
“Umm.. Gotta go, Tommie. Don’t wait up!”
Victor Von
November 24th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

Let’s give Rusty a big hand! Seriously, anything would be less disturbing than that tiny prosthesis he is currently sporting.
Uncle Lumpy
November 24th, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

And he gave them a refreshing beverage to warm them up after a cold night outside! FREE CUE NOW!
Charterstoned
November 24th, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Who would you cast to play our favorite comic strip characters in a movie? Angela Lansbury as Mary Worth. Gregory Peck as Mark Trail. The Incredible Shrinking Man as poacher Bob Jackson.
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#28 – Commodore John asked why Scott’s head shot was of less severity than his other bullet wounds:

Some people are immune to brain damage, John.

#65 – CanukDS: I read a lot of Disney stories to my kids. You’d be amazed at how often the villian/villianess gets killed of their own doing when they have a perfectly good chance to escape. The witch in Snow White runs off a cliff. The evil witch/dragon in Sleeping Beauty falls off a cliff. Cruella DeVille of 101 Dalmation fame drove off a cliff. But it’s not just for the ladies. Gaston in Beauty and the Beast falls off a castle rooftop. So I don’t know what the artists at DT, Rex and MT are going to do with these ne’er-do-wells in the absence of a 50 foot drop off.

I once did see a holy horror of a movie called Traxx (starring Shadoe Stevens) where the bad guy farted 1000 times in a car, lit a cigarette, and blew up. That kind of flatulent justice would fall in to the bizarre world of Dick Tracy, more than the other two strips, and very little chance of it happening there, either. Oh well, one can dream.
Niall
November 24th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

89. Victor Von: good thing I had just finished my gulp of vanilla cream soda. That had better get on next week’s float. (I’m glad I wasn’t in the middle of my butter tart.. yes, I eat them occasionally, but I’m québécois and therefore have full licence to eat butter tarts, sugar pie and sucre à la crème.)
Sue D. Nymme
November 24th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

“Ruby, you look ~~gorgeous~~ exactly like me!”
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

MT:
Bob: I’ll turn myself into the rangers, along with these other guys… Ok, guys, ready? Shazam! We’re all rangers now.

Facial Hair Ranger: So can we beat on this Trail guy for trespassing in a federally protected wetland?
Aviatrix
November 24th, 2009 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

@88 Hogenmogen FREE CUE NOW! If they don’t, I’m going to write letters!

And speaking of liberty and justice, I’m still hoping for a Finnish speaker to address Y9’s mangling of the Pledge of Allegiance.
commodorejohn
November 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

#92 Hogenmogen – True, true. After all, if he was dating Adrian, there’s obviously plenty of matter in his skull that isn’t in use.

Also, congratulations, you’ve indepently discovered the Disney Villain Death!
Hogenmogen
November 24th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Marvin: I don’t get it. The thing here in KY is to deep fry a turkey. It’s macho. You take like 4 gallons of peanut oil, stick it over a Bunsen burner on steroids, drink beer for 4 hours, and BAM, you’re a chef, Vern.
Carlo
November 24th, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

36 Hogenmogen: You actually made me read a strip of Hagar for the first time in years. Kudos!
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

# 92 Hogenmogen — If the next DT plot featured a villain named Fartso who died in the way you described, I would totally forgive all the bad DT stories I’ve ever read.
Paul1963
November 24th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Luann, 11/24: OK, so, Brad brings his girlfriend, who has told him she loves him “with all [her] heart,” to Thanksgiving, and it’s a problem. But Luann brings this Quill dude she just met and Mom’s OK with that?

Curtis: Again, Greg (the dad) is always bitching about money being tight, so why do these people host Thanksgiving for an army of relatives? Are there no grandparents? Don’t the snobby relatives mentioned today have a home?

Sally Forth: Have we never met Ted’s parents before? Also, thanks to reading this blog for the last couple of years, when the elder Forths showed up at the door, I couldn’t help wondering if Ted’s father would greet him with “So, still gay or what?”

Smirky Whinerbean: Yeah, Monday of Thanksgiving week is the ideal time to start selling turkeys.
Chyron HR
November 24th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G – “My own clone! Now neither of us will be virgins!”

Crock – “Well, Otis, when a man and a giant squash love each other very much…”

Curtis – What’s the problem? Like the old song says, “Feed the rich to the poor, ’til there are no rich no more.”

Herb & Jamaal – Lord, I know I’m not perfect… but please turn the third panel into a puzzle from The Fool’s Errand! (Yes, I recycled that joke. SO DID THEY.)

Judge Parker – “Well, you’re rich and beautiful, so you’re off the hook, but I’m going to have to take Marv in for questioning.”

Rose is Rose – “Chili fillies cause fatal gastrointestinal distresstinals to lovey hubbies.”
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

# 97 commodorejohn — Uh-oh. I had of course seen references to TV TROPES on CC before. But because “TV” was in the title, I assumed the site used video clips, which are pretty much beyond my slow dialup access. So I assumed the Tropes site was not for me.

Now I click and discover it’s something funny that I can read. This is not good.
Aviatrix
November 24th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

@103 Poteet See you in a fortnight.
Poteet
November 24th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

# 102 Chyron — Because of your A3G comment, I am going to be giggling intermittently for the next two hours. Thanks a lot.
commodorejohn
November 24th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#103 Poteet – Oh dear. I really should have put a warning on that link…
AhClem
November 24th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

DT – The reason nobody died a grisly death in this story arc is that we were treated to several iterations of “Laugh Clown Laugh.” Thus, the Law of Conservation of Wretchedness is preserved.
Calico
November 24th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

#98 – Just use that thing away from your house, or dry weeds/brush etc. Make sure it is completely thawed as well.
Some guy, a DOCTOR of all people, tried to deep-fry a dinde on his back deck and caused $100,000 worth of fire damage to his house.
A couple of women in NY a few years ago tried to do this in their kitchen and got badly burned.
ChattyGenes
November 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

#97 commodorejohn. Thanks for linking to that. Reading it and laughing helped me get through some very strange back pain that I woke up with this morning.

(Now THAT’S a weird comment. But it’s true.)
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

108. Calico: huh. Dinde. I learned a new word today!
Muffaroo
November 24th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Hogenmogen @36 – If your theory is correct, we need to make a serious effort to kill Lucky Eddie. Perhaps lead him into a Dick Tracy scenario where he’s the villain, and accidentally puts his head into a vacuum hose and gets sucked through his funnel. Send him to Crankshaft and have ‘Shaft blow him up with charcoal lighter and a match.
Mr. O'Malley
November 24th, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

51. bats :[ The Morgans have been on a cruise ship for a year, but I’m glad our attention has been turned elsewhere. June in a bikini did not make up for that creepy child. The plot we have now has some entertaining characters, is vaguely medically related and doesn’t feature Rex solving problems by immediately jumping to some arbitrary conclusion that inevitably turns out to be correct. (”A teenager has MRSP! It must be the stolen gym mats!”) So I’m OK with this new crowd, though I’d like to see Cue become a regular.
Mr. O'Malley
November 24th, 2009 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

93. Niall. Does that licence also cover barbecued chicken on toast?
Mr. O'Malley
November 24th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

My plea for help with puns in Finnish is posted here.
Perky Bird
November 24th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

“You’ll need follow-up physical therapy sessions. She can help you with that as well. If you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.”
Mardou Fox
November 24th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

I nominate “Free Cue Now” as the next CC t-shirt!!!
queek
November 24th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

103: There’s not enough tabs in your browser. . . .

TV tropes, ’tis a wonderful thing, but not if you have things you should be doing in the next 3-5 hours.
bats :[
November 24th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

116. Mardou Fox: with the choking Cue/AAAK! panel, naturally…
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

FREE CUE NOW!
FREE CUE NOW!

Big Bird from Sesame St. shows up. He hands me a letter Q.

BB: “Here ya go. No charge.” (he walks away)
Mibbit: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”
mr 12 oz can
November 24th, 2009 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

tootle tootle hello ruby this is bobbie i just had some of the best rice pudding ever and i made out with dr pappagoras and only showdogs wear bows in there hair .-rudy uh bobbie the 435 bus is speeding down the road now i gotta jump in front of it BITCHHHHH
DamienBixlan
November 24th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Cue’s not only dealing weed, he’s dealing meth, and judging from panel 3, “someone” just snatched a little bit of it!
mr 12 oz can
November 24th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

i wonder if the magazine that pays mark trail his salary if he got paid in 5s and fiftys would he turn down the money or just punch there lights out . by the way where is the gun mark took away from sideburn jones ???
Mibbitmaker
November 24th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

A3G:

Ruby: “He’s a real man, and his name is Melvin Spears (no relation to Britney). Who knows, maybe we’ll even get married ourselves one day!”

Tommie: “But….. then your name will be Ruby Spears!”

Ruby: “I know! Ain’t it great? I can’t wait to tell my best friend from back home — Hannah Barbera!”
Muffaroo
November 24th, 2009 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Mibbitmaker @119 – “Oh yeah? Well, freak you too!”
Dean Booth
November 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

As we saw in the Johnny Malotte case, the purpose of the criminal justice system in Mark’s universe is to motivate Mark by arresting his innocent friends.
Aviatrix
November 24th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

#112 Mr. O’Malley: I want to see Rex Morgan play golf with Cue. And afterwards they could go to the golf course.

#122 mr 12 oz can: The rifle? The alligator has it.
cheech wizard
November 24th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

Rusty is pretty insistent that Bob shouldn’t go to jail. After what he helped do to Sassy, Rusty thinks they should just kneel him down and shoot him, just like they did with them other two fellas. The swamp knows how to keep its secrets.
zerowolf
November 24th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

I don’t know about Mama Degroot, but I’m sure TJ’s checking out Quill’s package.
zerowolf
November 24th, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: Oh by the way, If you see Cue….

Sorry couldn’t resist….
gnome de blog
November 24th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

#28, commodorejohn said:

Bizarro – Fashion Police, is it proper to wear cuffs (let alone cufflinks) with a hooded robe and scythe?

The point is moot, really. In the days when hooded robes and scythes were fashionable, cuffs (let alone cufflinks) had yet to be invented. The larger point, however, is the blatant assumption by Mr. Piraro that cuffs (and cufflinks) automatically convey dignity. We are favorably disposed toward French cuffs, although we think them more dashing than dignified. Simple, understated cufflinks, too, can be an attractive accessory. However, anything excessively jeweled, or larger than a thumbnail, can fairly be considered gauche.
zerowolf
November 24th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

#61 Yes, it’s pretty close to a racial slur, but it’s like the n-word. It’s “ok” to use it if you are an African-American but not ok if you aren’t.
zerowolf
November 24th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Call the continuity police on Gil Thorpe. Yesterday left off with the foot ball team showered, dressed, and back on the bus. Today opens up with the team back in Milford fresh from the showers.

The worst part of this is before disovering CC I didn’t give a crap about Gil Thorpe, Mary Worth, Apt 3G, and hadn’t seen Mark Trail since I was a kid. DAMN YOU JOSH!
Jamus the Bartender
November 24th, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

9CL: Interrogating German prisoners by singing to them? Now maybe THAT’s something Jack Bauer and Gitmo can try doing. Wasn’t Keifer Sutherland in a band or something once?
Archie: That sing-songy voice balloon makes her look scary, but apart from that, Medium-sized Ethel’s lookin’ good.
Dick Tracy’s Last Panel: * ROARING APPLAUSE*
FOOB: Okay….so, i’m kinda wondering here, when’s the current ” Earth One” Pattersons gonna visit their “Earth Two” counterparts, you know, the ones with the HAPPY marriage?
Gasoline Alley: I don’t care. A deal’s a deal. The kid needs a sitter.
Luann: Did anyone else hear the strains of “Mrs. Robinson”, coo coo ca choo?
Sally Forth: Honestly….Ces, this year’s Thanksgiving episode’s really given me the giggles. If you can bring back Sally’s mom and have her get into a fight with Ted’s dad using pool cues, that’d be great.
Judge Parker: Ohh, I know what’s gonna happen next. Mrs. D’vito’s huge manservant Manute is gonna come in and cause Sam all kinds of pain without leaving a mark on him.
Funky Winkerbean: You just don’t get it, do ya red? You just don’t get it. Next, you’ll be asking why everyone has the cancer in Funkytown. It’s Funkytown, that’s why everyone has the cancer. So…get out there, those birds ain’t gonna sell themselves.
mr 12 oz can
November 24th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

#132 i never read any of this crap either i found out about this site from a beer blog . now the first thing i do every morning is washington post comics and then to joshreads . who knew soap opera comic strips would be additive my local paper comic selection by the way sucks thanks to the www
Jason1981
November 24th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

MT: “I’ll turn myself into the rangers, along with the other guys.”

“MASTADON!”

“TRICERATOPS!”

“TYRANNASAURUS!”

“POACHER RANGERS!!”
Carrie ForthWorth
November 24th, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

Yup there’s now a bunch of strips that I read, courtesy of CC. My local paper doesn’t carry A3G, Luann, 9CL, Mark Trail or Rex Morgan but they were blogged about by Josh and snarked upon by ‘mudgeons so humorously that I started following them.

However, despite the close attention Josh pays to them, Gil Thorp and Dick Tracy leave me cold….
Steve the Pocket
November 24th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

@#92 Hogenmogen: That’s odd. In the movie versions, (A) Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty is killed by a sword to the heart, (B) Cruella de Vil’s car is shoved off the road by her bumbling sidekicks, who then collide with her, and (C) the latter visibly — and audibly — is not killed in the spectacular accident. So those books you read must have changed an awful lot!
Stij
November 24th, 2009 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

@135: Comment of the Week? Comment of the Week.
Farley's Revenge
November 24th, 2009 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

MW: Scott says he’s “motivated”. I interpret that to mean “You know that loony drama whore who hovered over me while I was under, right? You know what I’m looking at if she surgically staples herself to me, right? You’ve seen ‘Play Misty for Me’, right? So yeah, I’ve got to be able to run like the hounds of hell are after me…because they are.”
Farley's Revenge
November 24th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

If you’re going to talk about violent Disney movies, don’t forget “The Little Mermaid” and “The Lion King”. In the former, two eels get blasted into little eel bits and we were favored with seeing the grisly remains as Ursula wept over her little poopsies. Then Ursula is impaled on a ship part by the story’s Prince Eric. In the latter, James Earl Lion is trampled to death in a stampede and the Jeremy Scar is torn to bits by irate hyenas offscreen.

Oh yeah, good kiddie fun there.
Farley's Revenge
November 24th, 2009 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

MT: What’s up with that half turtle struggling towards the JackElrodball? Guess it’s the result of the toxic waste that was dumped in the area in a previous storyline.
Mumblix Grumph
November 24th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Finally, the wedding business is bearing fruit!

I guess that’s better than fruiting bears.

I have absolutely no idea what the hell that means.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

#118 bats: Yeah, the choking ACCK! panel seems a natural. But don’t we somehow have to get the word “crib” onto this Cue t-shirt?

FREE CUE!

The guy who was choking Cue has a mustache. Can Mark Trail come punch him, and deal out some justice for Cue? That would really be sweet.
Muffaroo
November 24th, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

How about Cue shaking his fist and shouting, “YOU OLD FOLKS GET OUT OF MY CRIB!”
Mardou Fox
November 24th, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

#143 was me, just forgot to sign in!

Anyway, I’m back because now I’m puzzled about how Cue would figure into Mark Trail’s universe. He doesn’t have any facial hair. He’s bald, but he’s not fat. I think it is only a sign of evil to be both bald AND fat in MT. The piercings…. I don’t know what Mark would make of that.

When you get down to it, Cue took some confused, chilly old folks, let them warm up, and gave them a drink. Punchworthy? I don’t think so!

(Who thinks that Cue smoked ‘em up, too?)

FREE CUE!
Mardou Fox
November 24th, 2009 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Oooh, wait a minute, I just looked back at the Sunday strip. Cue does seem to have some kind of soul patch or something on his chin. We’d better leave Mark Trail out of this.

I like the way the woman with the strangler guy seems to think the only reason he should stop strangling Cue is because the cops are coming. Otherwise, go for it! Geeze!
Mardou Fox
November 24th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

144. Nice idea Muffaroo. Or possibly Cue saying “Meet me back at my crib for some weed!” ??
Red Greenback
November 25th, 2009 at 12:03 am [Reply]

UN-ENCUMBER CUE!
Aviatrix
November 25th, 2009 at 12:05 am [Reply]

@147 Mardou Fox Anything mentioning weed reduced the number of folks who can buy it. It’s far more socially acceptable to wear incomprehensibly weird t-shirts than those promoting drugs. Sort of like smoking weed is less acceptable than choking and punching someone because they don’t know where your mother is.
Mardou Fox
November 25th, 2009 at 12:28 am [Reply]

149. Oh my gosh, you are so right! I should be punched for being so stupid!!
Tabby
November 25th, 2009 at 12:37 am [Reply]

I’m telling you, Tim will turn out to have been drugging Mama himself in some kind of plot to disguise that he’d spent all her monies while “taking care” of her, or a more complicated one involving the owner of the home. What the oldsters consumed at the crib of the awkwardly hospitable Cue will have reacted oddly with their usual meds and made them aware enough to really run away. Also, June is now bearing twins.

#92 Somewhere in LOTR is the line “Oft evil will shall evil mar”, which repeated readings back in the day made no sense of. Forgotten until I re-read to the kids, but more intelligible to an older me!
Patrick
November 25th, 2009 at 12:43 am [Reply]

There are only Mark’s fists and the righteous punishment they dish out.

Chuck Norris fears only Mark Trail’s Fists o’ Fury.
Marion Delgado
November 25th, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

Okay, if Big-Time’s name came from his all-pervasive clock fetish, then Big Shot’s name comes from his all pervasive … never mind, just saying, he watches a lot of porn is all.
Poteet
November 25th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

…arrgh…tropes…
Left of the Pyle
November 25th, 2009 at 1:35 am [Reply]

Before the rumors start, Ruby is NOT dating Lyle Lovett. Lyle was born outside Houston, not in Austin.
Ikolis
November 25th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Huh. If Cue is referring to his ‘home’ as his crib, then should he not say: “they were in my crib when I got crib”?
Aviatrix
November 25th, 2009 at 1:57 am [Reply]

@151 Tabby: As long as Tim gets what’s coming to him, I’ll be happy. The only question is whether yelling at the nursing home staff, creepily hitting on blonde girl and physically assaulting Cue will turn out to be enough evil to result in his comeuppance.
commodorejohn
November 25th, 2009 at 1:58 am [Reply]

#154 Poteet – Oh dear. We may have to dispatch a rescue team.
Jason1981
November 25th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

11-25:

reFOOB: It may be a slow cooker, but it’s a million times faster than her brain
Poteet
November 25th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

pant…pant…it’s like quicksand, that tropes site.

11/25 GA — Now just one cotton-pickin’ moment here. Walt got lost because Gertie dragged him at the last minute to a concert to which she didn’t even have tickets, and then she bought fake tickets from a scalper, and then she refused to let the owners of the real tickets have their seats, and then she made a big ugly scene, whereupon she was very understandably thrown out of the theater. Walt probably wandered off just to try to find some place where he could actually sit down. Gertie deserves to get her ass fired. Of course I’m the one who’s still reading this strip, so I deserve to suffer its stupidities.
True Fable
November 25th, 2009 at 2:34 am [Reply]

Dear Toni Daytona,

What the hell are you doing, backing down from Mrs. Oh-My-Poor-Little-Boy-Is-About-To-Be-Defiled deGroot? Don’t you do it! You put up with Dirk Beat-em-up for how long? And now you’re letting Mrs. Oedipus push you around? Fuck that.

–

Dear Apt 3-G Ruby,

Fire your stylist. She’s ripping you off.

–

Dear Cathy,

You really must die, darlin’. May I suggest you eat yourself into oblivion; you won’t notice a thing.

–

Dear Dennis the Allegedly Menacing,

A note from the teacher? Really? Let me guess; she’s complaining that you’re waxing philosophical over Mr. Wilson again. Or that you did not make a compliment into a complete sentence. Whatever the case, you aren’t menacing enough so drop the martyr act. Alice isn’t buying it and neither do I.

–

Dear Mark Trail,

It’s who you know, I suppose.

–

Dear Adrian and Scott,

Are you still around?! Look, your check’s in the mail. Let the next set of dull, dense guest stars have their day. Move ON.

–

Dear Ruthie,

You rule, kid. Please teach Dennis Mitchell how to handle things.

–

Dear Rex Morgan,

PLEASE COME HOME!!!

Sincerely,

Truman A. Fable
Comics Advisor
Nekrotzar
November 25th, 2009 at 2:38 am [Reply]

#23 – If they get a good prosecutor, they can probably get him on ‘conspiracy to grow sideburns,’ but there’s no way they can get a goatee charge to stick.
Mr. O'Malley
November 25th, 2009 at 2:43 am [Reply]

154. Poteet has emerged from 7 hours of tropes!

A-3G: You can see why we need Margo around. Without her we get bogged down with middle-aged romances among the secondary characters.

Crankshaft: This explains why there is a market for band members to sell turkeys on the day before Thanksgiving.

ReFoob: If you read the instructions for a Crockpot, it tells you not to take the top off while cooking because it cools it down, and being a slow cooker it takes a while to heat up again. But since this could leave it at the right temperature for dangerous bacteria to develop, we won’t tell Elly.

Lockhorns: What operating system is it that gives you the Black Screen of Despair?

MT: Is this the way to find a job in today’s economy? This must be a national park because the state parks are not hiring.

MW: When people come to take you home from the hospital, they usually bring some comfortable clothes, like sweats and a T-shirt. But Adrian brings a garish orange jacket. Plus if you can’t walk very well, they push you out to the curb in a wheelchair so you don’t fall and sue the hospital. But Adrian is putting herself, her patient and her job at risk by trying to support someone who is much heavier than her.

Monty, OBH: I like these.

Pluggers: Is he thinking about the grunge look? Even so, it could be distinguished from the Plugger look, I suspect.

RMMD: Is alcohol going to speed them up? I would think it would slow them down and make them easier to catch.

ZtP: If some of the superfluous verbiage were removed, it would not only tighten up the strip, but by making the dialog balloons smaller we could see more of the excellent artwork.
boomerangoutang
November 25th, 2009 at 2:47 am [Reply]

Meanwhile, the turtle watches silently. Waiting.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
November 25th, 2009 at 2:51 am [Reply]

Did anything happen? Free the Cueball!
Mibbitmaker
November 25th, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

Thanksgiving Eve:

S4th: Both Sally and Ted can credibly do mother-in-law jokes, but Luann’s Toni has them both beat (if she even makes it that far!).

9CL: She’s a (future) Burber woman — whadda YOU think, soldier-boy — of course she’s not!

A3G: Doesn’t sound like a compliment to me. Lyle, huh? Aw, I was hoping his name was Rudy…

Ziggy: “…Press ‘three’ to find out what the hell happened to ‘one’…”

6 Chicks: Squid! Squid!! (is that still a “thing” around here…?)

BBlues: I’m reminded of the “Thing That Wouldn’t Leave” skit from the 1977 SNL Christmas show. Thanks, Kirkman and Scott. :o)

DT: “…Rex Morgan. — Oh, and his wife, June.”

FW: Oh, now that’s just lazy, girl!

GF: Stray cheese? Weeeeeeeeirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!

GT: Drunken — er — Duncan’s an idiot.

MW: Ugh! — I’m going to the Returns section of some store now…

PCity: AGAIN with the doctrinaire ideologue game of chicken?? I’m independent, alright — of them.

RMMD: So, it’s just screw you, Cue, huh? Well, screw you two, too! FREE CUE NOW!! FREE CUE NOW!!….
True Fable
November 25th, 2009 at 3:59 am [Reply]

Squid is (are?) always a thing around here, Mibbitmaker!

and re: RMMD: Attica! Attica!!
Karmyn
November 25th, 2009 at 5:59 am [Reply]

I am impressed with TJ’s ability to hot a steaming hot bowl with his bare hands. His horribly mutated, but bare hands.
It’s just further proof that he’s not human.
Écureuil Écumant
November 25th, 2009 at 7:27 am [Reply]

MW: “Adrian, life with you is like a gift card that loses 10% of its value every month due to service charges, and expires in a year.”
Gary
November 25th, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

“His name?” “Well, Tommie, his name is Scott. He’s a detective. He was shot recently but said it was nothing compared to the pain of having to deal with a cloying obsessive former girlfriend Adrian, her similarly obsessive and potentially bi-sexual father anda possessed woman name Mary who hovered over everything. We talked for hours about stake outs and physical therapy. He wants kids and a house with a white picket fence. And a basement full of weapons. Oh, Tommie, I’m so happy.”
Écureuil Écumant
November 25th, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

FW: Now wait, these band turkeys come in boxes? Not only have I never seen a turkey-in-a-box, but that box is only chicken-size.

The only way you could get a turkey in that box is by boning it first. Well, OK, I have to acknowledge that if anyone would know about boning turkeys, it’d be Batiuk.
GotFuzzy
November 25th, 2009 at 9:13 am [Reply]

(DT)GT: Um, guys? You might not want to wear your high school letter jackets when you’re buying beer with a fake ID. Just sayin’…
Mardou Fox
November 25th, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

11/25: Today’s Mark Trail shows that when it comes to getting a job in Lost Forest, it’s not what you know, it’s who you kick in the face.
tb4000
November 25th, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

SF: So Sally and Ted both have dysfunctional parents. Now ze pieces are all starting to come to-ge-zare.
Jonny Quest
November 25th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Parker: Nice silhouette.

Morgan: Please end this storyline soon, or at least have Becka take off that raincoat.

A3G: Don’t like Ruby’s new “old lady” hairstyle, but I’m intrigued with the Dolly Parton comparison. Perhaps the makeover show should dress her in tight sweaters.
Tabby
November 25th, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

171 Our frozen organic turkeys at work come in boxes – very nice for managing a 10ish to 26! lb frozen block! I can’t imagine walking around with a set of these boxes and going door to door with them, though. Unless it was very cold out, it would soon be a drippppy unsaleable mess. Cookies or chocolate bars are one thing, but even Tofurkey would not fare well like this! Can you imagine buying your intended holiday centerpiece from a teenager in a band uniform who’s just knocked at your door with a wagon full of half-melted turkey boxes?
Little Guy
November 25th, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

Luann: Oh, just DO each other already!
queek
November 25th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

after spending last weekend reading Naylor stories, the punchline to today’s Pibgorn took me to bad mental places. Bad places, man.

Then, I’m hit with tentacle hentai in 6Chix. hell of a thing on a second cup of coffee, is all I’m sayin’.

NS: Wiley trying to blackmail Josh?

MG&Groan. nuff said.
frippy
November 25th, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

FW: The turkeys come from Sam & Ella’s farm. Har har. Even the stale puns in Funky Winkerbeam are grim harbingers of our looming mortality.
michael5000
November 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

A little CC homage: http://michael5000.blogspot.com/2009/11/comics-curmudgeon-supplemental.html
Écureuil Écumant
November 25th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

@178 queek says: “Then, I’m hit with tentacle hentai in 6Chix.”

Betcha she’s got a beak.
wossname
November 25th, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

DT: The epidemic of misshapen, foreshortened arms that has been simmering in GT for years, and then showed up in MW and lately in MT, has now surfaced in DT p 3. But since it’s associated with a NEW story not set in the circus of horrors, it’s OK with me.
FREE CUE NOW
Hogenmogen
November 25th, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Pluggers get their fat, flabby asses checked out frequently.

Luann: Hey, Mrs. DeGroot, have you not noticed that Toni has been very busy not-having-sex with Brad for four solid years? I doubt that if she ever saw Brad naked that she’d be coming over his house for Thanksgiving.

Re-Foob: It’s funny, because it says “slow cooker” and not “microwave”!!!

Dick: The strange silhouette is wearing a Locher & Brozman jacket. Tune in tomorrow and all next week as Dick travels down the trail where he will eventually discover if it is Locher or Brozman. Inquiring minds want to know!

Curtis mentions “family love” like on Jerry Springer. Does that mean he will be having sex with the snooty cousins or the ornery ones?

FW: Ha ha! Two turkeys! That’s funny! The only thing that would have been funnier is if it were THREE TURKEYS! Oh my gosh, I don’t think I could have handled that and I would have peed my pants right away!

Wouldn’t Spiderman’s mask filter out the sand? If it were so hard to breathe in the sand storm, why is he still able to talk about it? How does Sandman turn into a sand storm, exactly? I mean, I know he can turn into sand, but you still need wind. Just being able to transform doesn’t exclude you from fundamental laws like gravity, you know.
Hogenmogen
November 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Oh, and FREE CUE NOW!

He gave them drinks. So? Should he have checked to see if they were over 21 first? Not right how Cue gets arrested and Bob “Gator Killer” Jackson is going to get a slap on the wrist. It just ain’t right!

FREE CUE NOW!
Hogenmogen
November 25th, 2009 at 11:23 am [Reply]

I have to say, though, Becka’s Barbie-like bust is especially prominent, considering it’s popping up through a trench coat. The chest-to-waist ratio is about off the scale today.
commodorejohn
November 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am [Reply]

A3G – Not that we’d be able to tell, what with basically every single person in this strip only appearing from the shoulders up.

Crankshaft – Look, lady, if you live with Crankshaft, you should have known this was going to happen. It’s your own fault for not having a backup turkey.

Curtis – No, no. The kind of family love that’s showcased on Jerry Springer is the kind that goes on in Luann.

FC – “Yes, I do. But they’re shit, even if you worthless little melon-heads can’t tell the difference. Now piss off and go annoy your parents.”

FW – Judging by the size of the box, “turkey” apparently means “chicken” in Westview. Or maybe all the turkeys came down with a debilitating disease this year.

HOTC – Dean can conjure up the ghostly visage of Benjamin Franklin. That’s not much, as super-powers go, but I guess it’s something.

JP – The other way to get naked women into the funnies: draw them nominally clothed, in silhouette, except that their clothes seem to have disappeared for the moment.

Love Is… – an unholy abomination that drives the heavens from their courses.

Luann – This is the part where I start praying for nuclear holocaust. Preferably in the strip, but I’ll take what I can get.

MT – “Mark seems to think a lot of you, Mr. Jackson! You’re pardoned!”

MW – I like the cardboard receptionist pasted on the wall.

OBH – And the bloody, visceral rampage began.

RMMD – FREE CUE!

SM – YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HIM THAT AT THE START.
commodorejohn
November 25th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#185 Hogenmogen – I think Graham Nolan is getting a little jealous of all the stuff Eduardo Baretto pulls off in Judge Parker. I can only offer a hearty thumbs-up and a wish for Wilson to write less about freaky mustachioed stranglers and more about improbably hot nurses.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
November 25th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

A3G: ((choke)) Dolly Parton? What th—? Let’s see: Tight clothes covered in sequins? Nope. Sparkling personality? Nuh-uh. Fantastic blond wigs? No. World-renown tatas? Not that we can see. What’s left? A predilection for tackiness and a twangy voice. Yeah, I can see the similarity.

SM: I’m perplexed by the very concept of Sandman. If Spiderman is choking on sand, isn’t he breathing in Sandman? And if that’s possible, wouldn’t Sandman eventually just waste away to nothing, out of sheer attrition? ….I’ve just spent way too much time trying to figure this out—a whole 20-30 seconds.

MT: And so we see the Trail equivalent of Parkerverse Beautiful People Justice: You can break the law and slaughter gators, but as long as you don’t kill people and puppies—and as long as Mark Trail looks into your soul and pronounces you “good”—you will escape punishment—and, it seems, be rewarded with a job. Much like any primitive justice system, Trail’s Code has peculiarities, but as long as one lacks facial hair, it’s a pretty good system.

DtM: One thing we can at least count on Dennis for, despite his lack of menace, is his insouciance in the face of punishment. Without that, he’s just some beaten-down five year old engaged in lackluster harassment of an elderly neighbor.

FC: “All our dinners come out of boxes in the freezer. Mommy says that cooking is for suckers!”
queek
November 25th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

for True Fable:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/funny-pictures-cat-stares-at-goat.jpg
Hogenmogen
November 25th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Yeah, Ruby, you look like Dolly Parton – but fatter… and flatter… but without the face lifts or wigs or money or fame or talent or wardrobe or personality or layered makeup or even hair color. But you’re a female of comparable age and you have a southern accent – even though yours is from Texas and Dolly’s hails from Tennessee – both states start with the same letter, so you’re in the ballpark. And Dolly would never be caught dead in a forest green hairbow and pastel blue blazer with a collar more fitting for a wedding set in the Eisenhower era.
mordock999
November 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 11/25/09

Brad – “(Pssst, Mom! SAY something to Toni!)”

Nancy –”So, “TON-KNEE”, have you HAD sex with MY son yet?”

Toni — “Yes, “NAN-CEE” and he WASN’T that GREAT, THANKS to YOU!”

Nancy — “Why you POTENTIALLY Back-Stabbing, Two-Faced Slut!”

Toni — “You MEDDLING, Aging, Ex-Hippie, Hypocrite!!”

Frank — “Now STOP it you two! NO fighting until AFTER we say GRACE!”

_______________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
Hogenmogen
November 25th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Hey Ruby, people confuse me with Brad Pitt all the time for the same reasons.

He doesn’t shave sometimes, and neither do I.
subtly_strange
November 25th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

113: Niall-how about poutine?
Dingo
November 25th, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Family Circus Thanksgiving

It was T-60 and Thel had asked Momma for help in the kitchen while she went to change another dirty diaper. The men were in the garage, sitting on folding chairs, watching the game and holding their testicles with a hand tucked inside of their pants. It was early in the day, so each of them had his hand in his own pants. After three more beers, things might change.

Momma rolled out the dough. Smooth strokes, smooth strokes. It’s what made pie dough elastic and consistent. Smooth strokes. Her own mother had taught her this method as a teenager and she found the advice helpful in many realms of life. During the war, she had sung with the USO until offered the opportunity to work as a spy. She used the same technique with pie dough as she did on German cock and every man who succumbed to her charms ended up spilling copious amounts of semen and information. She returned to the States hailed as the Mata Hari of Sternwell, Ohio but avoided the limelight and nestled into domestic life, raising Thel, Ambrose, Uter, and Clynehausen. Smooth strokes. She remembered a young German soldier taking her into the forest for the weekend and how he looked chopping firewood in liederhosen. Her pussy tingled.

She lifted the dough and placed it over the pie plate. It was a beautiful landing. Momma took her fork and began securing it to the sides of the pan. Just then, Dolly entered the kitchen.

“Hey, Grandma, what you doin’?” the child asked.

Grandma stared. There was pie crust in her hands. A can of pumpkin sat on the counter and two eggs. Had this child no clue?

“I’m… I’m baking a pumpkin pie for tomorrow, Dolly. Do you and your mother never bake pies?”

Dolly sneered at the old woman. “This is a HARD way to make pumpkin pie, Grandma. Don’t you know how to make the frozen kind?”

Momma’s eye twitched. She stood silent for what felt like moments but was really as short as Japanese wang. Bringing forth air from parts of her lungs she never knew existed, Momma let out a horrifying scream and stuck her fork into Dolly’s eye.

“You little bitch!” Momma cried. She jabbed at Dolly’s face with the fork as the child screamed. With her other hand, Momma grabbed the rolling pin and began hitting Dolly on the head. “You kids are nothing but round-headed sonsabitches who ruined my daughter’s figure and life! You worthless piece of shit!” Every word syncopated with every blow. Momma kept hitting, hitting, hitting even though the child was now on the floor in a fetal position. Momma let out one more shriek and brought the rolling pin down in a crushing blow.

Dolly was silent. The child lay on the floor as dormant as Kevin Costner’s career. Momma took a deep breath and looked up to see Thel standing in the doorway. She gasped and dropped the rolling pin.

Thel walked to her and put her arms around her mother.

“Oh, Momma. I can always rely on you.”
Korvo
November 25th, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Gang, I know this has probably been discussed before, BUT. Mark Trail.

Isn’t Rusty his son? So why does Rusty call him ‘Mark’?
Dingo
November 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Korvo, Rusty is Mark’s adopted son.
AhClem
November 25th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

#194 Dingo -
[sniff!] I love happy endings!
Anonymous
November 25th, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

#193–I just had some o’ dat last night. It may look disgusting but it is delicious!

oh, and:

FREE CUE NOW!
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

11/25
A3G: Check out Tommie’s dead eyes and unchanging expression. She obviously got something out of her audition. I Dressed in the Dark: Come for the makeover, stay for the Thorazine.

9CL: Apparently the war effort gave you license to ask personal questions in the creepiest possible manner. If that guy turns out to be Juliet’s father, the squick is off the charts.

FC: Surprise cameo by Ernest Borgnine.

BB: Apparently the general does not fantasize about Miss Buxley’s bathroom activities. I am pleasantly surprised.

MC: Unfortunately Brigid can’t exhibit that piece. Not unless she’s a fan of identity theft.

Archie: Thank you, Pop Tate, for clearing the view to Betty’s rack in panel 3.

6C: Rina Piccolo makes a play for the tentacle fetish market.

SSmith: “Dad-blasted shame, too. Made more money on my knees than I ever did on the farm.”

GA: Well that’s a nice ending. Well, any ending would have been welcome. That’s how things tend to go in Gasoline Alley.

Baldo: Gracie: What are we, a bunch of immigrants or something?

M-Dawg: At first I thought Dotty was screaming about “too many cocks.” Marm dropping a bone in her stew doesn’t help.

GT: Watch those grabby hands, Duncan. I think that case of brewskies is gonna slap you for getting fresh.
Will
November 25th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

I laughed at Garfield today.
Professor Fate
November 25th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

MW: Dead man walking.I figure the instant they decide they are going to name their first child “Brad” Scott keels over dead. And Mary will have finally found her apprentice to follow her in the ways of meddling for her lord Chulthu.
kallista
November 25th, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

#194 Dingo: You had me at Clynehausen.
Poor Thompson
November 25th, 2009 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: You know, “Ingrid” is actually a pretty good name for a comic strip character. Ha ha, get it? ’cause she’s literally in a grid!
Dji
December 2nd, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Finnish plea update: http://joshreads.com/?p=5010#comment-760340

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