Friday quickies
Apartment 3-G, 12/4/09
As Bobbie’s finger tapped his hollow metal chest with an echoing “thump,” Alec realized that she was right. What was the point of doing this the fancy way? He was just a simple robot, built by Bobbie to hunt down and destroy her cheating husband. No more play-acting at free will; it was time to get down to business.
Family Circus, 12/4/09
There’s something incredibly repulsive to me about how vigorously Jeffy is wiping the slobber off of his face with his unitard-clad forearm. Each and every one of those adults is covered with a thick, viscous layer of Jeffy drool.
Hagar the Horrible, 12/4/09
Yes, Helga, but most people aren’t sad and desperate alcoholics!
Mark Trail, 12/4/09
Normally I do not root for the terrible death of adorable puppies, but Sassy’s continued moronic behavior is making me rethink that policy. Maybe it’s time to let natural selection take its course, you know? On the other hand, if Sassy manages to also take out the malformed Rusty-thing along with her, she will paradoxically become a true hero-dog, unworthy of death.
Marmaduke, 12/4/09
And by “odd-looking toupee” we mean “still-bleeding scalp,” obviously! Actually it’s kind of amazing how that interpretation doesn’t require a change to anybody’s facial expression or body language in this panel.
Ace
December 4th, 2009 at 4:25 am
Not sure if Ed and Mel are intentionally invoking the laws of Fetish Fuel or if Norm’s just way kinkier than they ever wrote him to be, but either way today’s My Cage is deeply disturbing.
Aviatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 4:32 am
So to avoid possibly bumping into the retreating end of a deer, Mark drives the car off a cliff. It’s too dangerous for the dog to be under the car but Mark lets the boy crawl under the car to get it.
Is Mark a PETA member or something?
Master Softheart
December 4th, 2009 at 4:56 am
Yester-Josh: Yes, while sociologists tend to talk about ‘charismatic authority’ and business historians sometimes talk about the Schumpeterian distinction between ‘organizational entrepreneur’ and ‘mere manager,’ I can attest that the phrase “‘Cobra Commander’ model of organizational leadership” has been used in academic debate. Specifically in my own experience, it was spat out contemptuously with reference to the idiotic and ruinously expensive decision to hire an outside ‘celebrity CEO’ described in a business school case study.
It is unlikely but imaginable that this may explain why I wasn’t asked to return for an interview the faculty search committee at one particular business school.
It's time to pay the price
December 4th, 2009 at 5:06 am
I’m less concered with Jeffy slobber and more with the fact that he’s hovering 3 inches off the ground. Not to mention the whereabouts of his mother’s legs. I’m not saying the two are linked in some sort of bizarre amputation-for-levitation satanic tradeoff. But I’m not prepared to rule it out either.
Sprobert
December 4th, 2009 at 5:57 am
I’m hoping Elrod got his idea for the current MT story from Batiuk at the last cartoonists’ convention. Whoever said two wrongs can’t make a right?
mkilby
December 4th, 2009 at 6:01 am
Today’s Family Circus was probably composed from leftover spare parts taken from the Keene’s attic. Not only is the mother missing the side of her face (and as mentioned in (4), her legs, too), but the “trace-and-color-by-numbers” template used for her appears to be from a completely different decade as the ones used for the other characters.
Kibo
December 4th, 2009 at 6:09 am
“Oh no! I wish I hadn’t saved three cents by buying an Unstable Car Jack™! Curse you, Ronco! I demand a refund for the Unstable Car Jack, which can barely support my Kia Unstable Car!”
The Ridger
December 4th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Wait a minute. Sassy backs TOWARDS the hungry alligator and AWAY FROM Rusty and INTO the jack… This little dog no longer wants to live. And who can blame her?
Alfred E. Neuman
December 4th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Luann— Nancy DeGroot’s #1 Rule for Living: You should never date anyone who might reject you. If you don’t end up in a lifelong marriage with the very first person you date, your life will be a complete disaster, and you will be a total failure as a human being.
A3G— “Thump” is such a lame word to indicate tapping someone on the chest. Gasoline Alley has the ideal word: “Poik!”.
FC— I know we all like to pick on Jeffy, but this time I’m going to stand up for the unfortunate little tyke. For once, he may be blameless. Did anyone consider that Grandpa or Grandma might have a chaw? I didn’t think so.
MT— Oh, boy does this hit close to home. Recently, Mrs. Neuman decided to add some excitement to our humdrum lives by getting a fox terrier puppy. By comparison, Sassy is positively catatonic. I’ve named the puppy “Turbo”, but if he doesn’t show some signs of becoming paper trained soon, I can easily change it to “Turdo”, and it will sound the same to him. Fortunately, the flooring in our house is mostly Spanish tile, so we can simply hose it off from time to time.
SlyFox— Anna Conners of Batavia, NY is preparing her portfolio for the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. She’s clearly working on her Natasha Fatale presentation.
Farley's Revenge
December 4th, 2009 at 7:02 am
MT: Oh yeah, the sand is unstable. It’s freaking sand after all. Which is why it made such sense to jack the car on the unstable sand.
I guess it never occurred to him to carefully drive to a nearby location with a more stable surface so he could change the “broken” tire more safely. Yeah, he had a broken tire so it had to be changed right then and there. Good thing that broken tire didn’t happen when he was whizzing down the freeway or he would stop right in the middle of the lane to change the tire. Imagine the conversation that plot complication would engender:
“Be careful, Rusty, the traffic’s moving awfully fast. You don’t want Sassy to get run over by an eighteen wheeler, do you?”
“Gosh, no, Mark! But what about the truck coming at us in this lane?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll just punch it into another lane.”
“We are so dead, Sassy.”
“Yip!”
True Fable
December 4th, 2009 at 7:19 am
#9 Alfred E. Neuman – You’re giving Brad a lot more credit than I am. I thought Toni was the first girl he ever dated.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2009 at 7:33 am
You uncharitable souls have failed to realize that Sassy is committing the most heroic and noble act of self-sacrifice imaginable on the comics page. She’s laying down her life to take out Rusty, people. Wouldn’t you… wouldn’t any of us do the same?
Dragon of Life
December 4th, 2009 at 7:34 am
…and then he discovered that his web browser had forgotten who he was. “There it is, the cleverest post you’ll ever make and now everyone will think it’s anonymous.”
Chronic Masturbatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 7:56 am
FC: All I can think of is tongue ahoy. Ew.
Jump Start: Wow, normally I like this strip, sorta, but this has been a horrible week. When the uniformly-grey-clad homeless-angel family awarded our hero cop with a “good luck medallion” the size of a hubcap and made of “solid steel,” I was afraid it was going to stop a bullet eventually.
What I didn’t expect was such a poorly-done strip with odd sound effects (ding knock knock PAP) and the spectacle of a police officer being graphically shot in the chest at point-blank range by a guy who’s still dropping his groceries as he charges the fuzz.
Big problem is, this isn’t the first time Joe’s been shot by a perp and escaped through divine intervention posing as coincidence. This is a friggin’ rerun. For shame.
MT: Wow. What can I add? Sassy is bad luck. But if she takes Rusty with her, and Mark walks into the surf on a one-way stroll out of guilt, I will erect great monuments to this little dog.
Bryan
December 4th, 2009 at 8:32 am
9 Chickweed Lane: Is it wrong for me to hope that a lucky V-2 strike wipes out the Burber clan before it begins?
Mark Trail: “Oh no! The four-legged plot device has run under the car!” Has any of these idiots considered the efficacy of a leash? Five feet of clothesline would have prevented this and the stupid alligator bait problem.
Read but don't post much
December 4th, 2009 at 8:33 am
There’s something incredibly repulsive to ME about those adults bending so low to kiss a bunch of obviously freakishly short midgets (whose giant swollen heads are larger than the adults’) on their mouths. Fergodssakes, “Grandma” is PICKING UP a supposed “7-year-old” who is sized and proportioned like a child under the age of 1.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too creepy. >.<
Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy
December 4th, 2009 at 8:38 am
MT: Let’s hope all three of them get crushed!!
Luann: I wonder if Mrs. DeGroot goes over to Brad’s house every morning and wipes his poopy little butt for him.
Patrick
December 4th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Pointing an angry finger at Alec, Bobbie suddenly realized that she no longer cared about her husband’s indiscretions. The man she was destined to marry was standing right there all along.
After all, who else would think to match a white turtleneck with a pastel-colored blazer?
It was love. It was fate. It was…destiny.
yanni
December 4th, 2009 at 8:43 am
So in the Keane Kompound kissing a family member is ‘getting lucky’? That actually explains a lot.
Braniff
December 4th, 2009 at 8:46 am
FC: Jeffy: “Daddy says that kissing spreads the swine flu. That means we must all be a bunch of pigs!”
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 8:58 am
FC: Ewwww! It does look like Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy Bil are sucking some major face, there. Wherever the lower half of Thel’s body went, one of Bil’s feet is there too.
MT: Yesterday I had a happy little fantasy of some kind of disaster occurring because Mark was so stupidly jacking his car up on the sand…. I didn’t think it would really happen! I’m so happy!
stumps
December 4th, 2009 at 9:09 am
MT – This is why you HIT the deer in front of you, when you swerve bad things happen (although usually they involve hitting trees, rocks, etc and result in exiting the car via the windshield). Death can not be cheated – Mark dodged death when he missed the deer and now it is time for the payment. Had Mark used proper defensive driving, he would have a slightly damaged car and a dead deer, now he gets a dead dog and mortally wounded rusty.
nerowolfgal
December 4th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Rusty’s going to die, Rusty’s going to die……..well I can dream can’t I?
And I totally agree, Sassy has a major death wish.
mordock999
December 4th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Today’s Luann 12/04/09
Bedtime at the DeGroot House –
Nancy — “Frank, I’m a MOTHER. I’m PROTECTIVE. I don’t know ANY OTHER way to Explain it!”
Frank — “Oh, I SEE, Nancy.”
(Knock on the bedroom door)
Luann — “Mom?”
Nancy — “Yes, Dear?”
Luann –”I’m PREGNANT, by Elwood!”
Nancy — “Thats NICE, Dear. (!!??!!) …..ARRRRRRRRGGGH!!”
___________________________
DEATH to TJ and some HEAVY Sedation for Nancy DeGroot!!!
Dan
December 4th, 2009 at 9:43 am
“And what do you call your act, Jeffy?”
“The Aristocrats!”
fnord3125
December 4th, 2009 at 9:44 am
FC – I’m disturbed by the fact that all the “kisses goodnight” seem to be happening directly on the lips. Is that normal? Among my family, kisses between relatives are exclusively cheek-based. And I find it rather creepy to see Dad and Grandpa locking lips with Dolly and the baby, respectively. Not to mention Grandma and Billy. Judging by the limp way his arms are hanging behind his back, Billy appears to have passed out in her crushing embrace.
C. Havoc
December 4th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Mark Trail: Worst sort-of, pseudo-parent…ever.
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I knew Mark was a bit thick, but…wow.
He’s making the Keane kids look like candidates for MENSA.
Lucky
December 4th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Beetle Bailey – Augh! Too much skin, too much skin, too much skin! I doubt it was the singing that made Rocky evidently vomit, but Beetle seems to be unable to understand that not all people react to naked Sarge in the same way he does. Or maybe it was what Beetle and Sarge were doing in the shower that made Rocky talk Norwegian to the sink.
Blondie – Somehow I get the feeling that this strip is a rerun from the 60s, only with the genders reversed.
Crankshaft – Funnily enough that’s how I always react to every Batiuk strip.
Family Circus – I know that this is supposed to be cutesy and heartwarming, but something about the Keane kiss orgy makes me feel really uncomfortable.
Mark Trail – When did Tom Batiuk take over Mark Trail?
Muffaroo
December 4th, 2009 at 10:17 am
A3G – “Now you find the woman!” Let me just ask, Bobbie, why are you certain your husband is cheating on you with a woman?
Dick – Concerto for Air Violin tonight! Either that or Fidd Ler will have to ‘improvise’ by tying something around his waist where his pants should be.
Family – I see nothing but wholesome familial affection here. Move along.
Gasoline – They’re watching Freddy the Snowman on a Plasma TV!
Gil – “From now on, we’re calling you Duncan Disorderly.”
Hägar – Another classic “I’ve heard of [x], but THIS is RIDICULOUS!”
Mark – Now I see Mark’s wisdom in not setting the jack on a freaking piece of wood or something. Well done, Mark!
Popeye – Wow! Jackelrod balls really do want to conquer puny humans. I suppose they’re enlisting animals to help in their fight against us, too. This explains a lot.
R=R – It’s bad enough they’re freaking nuts, but why do they have to be so damned lame about it?
Carbunicle @178 – Cherub Boo? (“He’s a giant CHERUB, I tell ya!”)
Natalie
December 4th, 2009 at 10:24 am
It’s a sign of the times, I think, that when I read today’s Family Circus I was less concerned about the implied incest, and more concerned about the health implications of all that saliva-swapping.
TheCasey
December 4th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Crankshaft – Finally! Someone who represents the readers!
Curtis – “child-ogre”? I’m sure that’s a popular insult with the kids today.
Luann – Again, I may not up up with the popular lingo, but I didn’t know that ‘mother’ and ‘bitch’ were interchangeable.
MT – OhpleaseGodkillRustyOhpleaseGodkillRustyOhpleaseGodkillRustyOhpleaseGodkillRusty. Or if not, give me Satan’s number. I’ve got a soul I’m probably not ever going to use.
teddytoad
December 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am
But if Alec were a robot, why would Bobbie need to pay him? Besides, ‘thump’ is not the sound of anything hitting metal–that’s been monopolized (and deservedly so) by ‘clank.’ No, ‘thump’ is the sound of something heavy falling on carpeted floor. So, I’d revise your first sentence to read,
Bootsy
December 4th, 2009 at 10:29 am
None of my dogs ever backed away when they thought I was playing. In fact, if ever there were a time when I wanted one to stay somewhere because she was doing something I wanted a picture of, it wouldn’t happen. Once I got down on floor level with the camera, she dropped whatever entertaining thing she had and raced over to me, since I am far and away the best plaything ever. I think the only thing she likely wouldn’t have dropped for me would have been a kitten made of cheddar.
In conclusion, I implore again, where’s Andy?
Bootsy
December 4th, 2009 at 10:30 am
No actual kittens made of cheddar were harmed in the making of post # 34.
Baron Bizarre
December 4th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Mmm….cheddar kitten….ahhh…..
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
December 4th, 2009 at 10:37 am
9CL:The set up is taking way too long. The pacing is glacial and what intrigued me a few days ago I now have no further interest in.
Gasoline Alley: So this rube robs blood banks to power his TV?
Mark Trail Neither Sassy or Rusty will actually die but it does look like that the Jackelrod ball is getting its thrills hovering constantly at the edge of death. How utterly tiresome.
Luann: I predict that Mama DeGroot will be proven right but it will be a Pyrrhic victory. Toni will leave Brad but only because Mama DeGroot makes it impossible for Brad and Toni to be together and in the process destroys her relationship with her son. Brad leaves DeGrootville to wander the earth a hollow and broken young man newly given to dissipated habits.
someBrad
December 4th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Marmaduke brings home an “odd-looking toupee”? Seriously? You’re obviously being baited.
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 10:45 am
3G – What if Luann’s printmaker Jack Davis is actually Bobbie’s husband?
He and Margo do hang out fairly frequently, hence the sighting with a Brunette.
Poor Bobbie, all strung out on Vicodin, rage, and rice pudding.
Peripheral Visionary
December 4th, 2009 at 10:46 am
@fnord #26, you’ve hit on an area where there is a profound cultural difference. Old-school Americans (and I believe many Europeans) see a kiss on the lips as strictly romantic, only for lovers; a kiss on the cheek is appropriate for close friends or family members. It’s become common in American society, however, to kiss children who are family members on the lips, and isn’t seen with any social disapprobation.
I personally find the old-fashioned view the more sensible one, and think that the Americans are wandering deep into strange territory with the kissing-children-on-the-lips thing. It should be noted that etiquette experts (old-school experts, not the new self-appointed ones whose mission in life seems to be putting their stamp of approval on any behavior, no matter how deviant or repugnant) would back me up on that. From “Miss Manners’ Guide to Rearing Perfect Children”:
“In an ordinarily affectionate family, a child learns through experience that lip kissing usually occurs bettween romantically attached adults, kissing the air next to the cheek is generally reserved for people whose names his parents can’t remember, and that the finger, nose, and toe kissing he had been receiving as an infant has turned into mostly cheek and forehead kissing as he grew older. These are only the general customs of our society, of course, and may vary elsewhere and within many different kinds of American subgroups.”
This etiquette note has been brought to you by a fan of Judith Martin’s.
PepperjackCandy
December 4th, 2009 at 10:46 am
What happened to the right arm of the husband in today’s Marmaduke? It’s short and misshapen, and there seems to be a wedge-shaped piece missing from his shoulder. Is there a backstory that I’ve missed explaining this?
I also worry about the left half of Bil Keane’s torso. Though I am impressed by his ability to balance on his one remaining foot.
skullcrusherjones
December 4th, 2009 at 10:56 am
‘Duke: No? Shouldn’t he say “Nein!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InsspuvAmBs
wossname
December 4th, 2009 at 11:00 am
bats :[ y181: I also friended Charley (with similar feelings of revulsion). FB keeps asking me to suggest more friends for Charley, because he’s new to FB and doesn’t have very many (unlike Wilbur with his 400+). Charley only has 11 — and one of them is Aldo, who is presumably dead (although he’s posted on Charley’s wall, so maybe there’s something about Aldo’s car crash that we don’t know).
wossname
December 4th, 2009 at 11:03 am
MT – Don’t forget the car and the imminent victims are on soft, shifting sand. I think the potential for being trapped under the car, but without major injuries, is pretty good.
GA – I still don’t understand much about this strip but at least now I understand why the IV bottle is there. Well, sort of.
And oh yeah — free Cue now!
anonymous
December 4th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Hagar the Horrible: needs an intervention, stat! Chugging down mugs of mead, or beer, or whatever is in the barrel may put you in a sodden stupor for a couple of hours, yeah – but it’s not ’sleep’. And what are you gonna do when it’s time to get up and hit the ground running? Hangover City! no, Demon Rum is not the way to go through life, Hagar.
bartcow
December 4th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Sassy is setting in motion the worst vignette in the entire Final Destination franchise.
Still, it might be fun to watch Mark punch the car off of Rusty.
bartcow
December 4th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Oh, and I would buy a “Free Cue Now!” t-shirt. Hint hint.
Reynard Noir
December 4th, 2009 at 11:15 am
What’s more disturbing about Marmaduke is how it implies that mere moments before, the Owner Women really really was trying to get her husband to look some odd-looking toupee their dog brought home.
MaryAnnTheRest
December 4th, 2009 at 11:15 am
The comics are insane today. Insane. Way too much showing of private ablutions in Beetle Bailey and Luann. I hardly know where to start, but I’d like to question Funky Winkerbean. Where are they standing? Funky didn’t realize that you can’t release plastic deer into the forest?
jeanne
December 4th, 2009 at 11:23 am
You know, those people would be much better off without Sassy.
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 11:28 am
#49 – Also, in Beetle, we see Rocky hurling up his dinner in the sink, thanks to Sarge’s tone deafness plus nakedness.
#44 – Oh, I think I see where this may go.
Sassy and/or Rusty (please let it be Rusty instead of dingbat dog) will be trapped under the car, and the tide will start to rise!
I am not sure if Mark is particularly good at punching moving water, though.
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
#50 – Sassy would be much better off without those people.
Lawyerbob
December 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
A3G: It appears that Bobbie accidentally hit Alec’s on/off switch, putting him in “sleep” mode.
FC: I confess that when I was a youngster, I too would wipe my cheek off after my grandmother kissed me. To now realize that I behaved like a Keane spawn fills me with shame and a sickness unto death.
MT: There seems to be some kind of warp in the time-space continuum in panels two and three. The space under the car seems to grow larger with each panel, and Rusty looks like he has regressed to his four-year-old self. Or maybe Elrod is a shitty artist.
Entophile
December 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Family Circus- I think everyone is focusing way to much on kissing Keenes and should look at the Dad’s freakishly tiny ankles, how can that support the weight of a full grown human adult? How malnourished is he? .
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
December 4th, 2009 at 11:36 am
MT: Seeing Rusty wriggling under that tottering chassis is was a great way to start my day. Shame about Sassy, but you can’t make an omelet without squishing some canned tamales.
Luann: Geez. Does Nancy DeGroot have a shrine to Brad made out of his placenta?
NoahSnark
December 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Years from now, when Jeffy is the poster child for safe sex practices, the Keene family ritual of sharing bodily fluids will come to light and generate enough horror and shock to be worth a six figure book deal.
fausto
December 4th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Previous FC strips have portrayed Grandpa as an angel, but here he is again in flesh and bone. Was Grandpa resurrected, or is this the start of the Zombie Apocalypse?
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 4th, 2009 at 11:52 am
A3G: Alec must be thinking career change right about now. Legalized drug provider must sound pretty good. Then instead of Bobbie poking him, he’d get to poke… well, you know.
FC: No no no, Josh. What’s so horrifying that your mind obviously refuses to acknowledge it is the way Bil and Dolly are blatantly mouth-kissing. Bringing up the issue of tongues and the placement thereof is a surefire path to madness.
MT: Sassy’s impulse toward death is so strong it will not be denied.
6C: They said it couldn’t be done, but Benita Epstein has actually out-Lockhorned the Lockhorns.
JP: Ah. The movie star handsome Afghanistan vet outfoxes the plain and dowdy cop with treasonous liberal opinions. All is as it should be.
RMMD: I’m pretty sure I’ve never told a woman “If you ever need someone you know who to call” right in front of her Margoing husband. Then again, Peter just lost a patient and I’m sure he could use a good laugh. So thanks, you sickly little gnome.
Archie: Reggie looks inexplicably pissed at Archie’s last-panel kneeslapper. Maybe he’s thinking, “Damnit. I was sure I’d have the lamest excuse, but Andrews has to upstage me again.”
GT: Drunken Duncan could well lie, since there’s only weak hearsay evidence against him. Then again this is Milford, so the Iggy Pop tee shirt may violate several town ordinances in itself.
Popeye: The world is about to be conquered by a talking pair of balls. Didn’t this storyline get rejected from Heavy Metal magazine for being too explicit?
MC: Bridget’s life will eventuallty merge with one of the oldest stories in the world: that of a man who dumps his first wife to run off with his secretary.
Blondie:
Cookie: But mom, is it really necessary for dad to wash the dishes in that big pink apron.
Blondie: Your father insists, dear. He says it makes him feel flirty.
BB: If I wanted to see that much of Sarge, I’d sign up for Beetle’s private blog. And is Rocky spitting or vomiting. This isn’t at all the party he was expecting.
DtM: “So to answer your questions, Joey. Yes, that was a Three Musketeers in my pocket. And yes, I am happy to see you.”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
December 4th, 2009 at 11:53 am
FC: Gahh… it looks like they’ve been at it for hours.
Marm: That’s not a toupee, it’s a scalp. I wonder if Hitler Dad saw Inglourious Basterds? Because he should be worried.
blammers66
December 4th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Crankshaft: Funny … whenever I see a Batuik character stand and shout that they can’t take it anymore, I sort of expect to see them waiving a gun, or a knife, or a syringe filled with some horrible pathogen. “Please! Stop right now, or I swear to God I will give myself and anyone I can reach an inoculation of Bubonic Plague!” I feel a little let down today.
matt w
December 4th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Josh, you don’t have kids, do you? Four months in, being covered with a thick, viscous layer of drool seems pretty normal.
aloha_breeze
December 4th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Don’t know how accurate it is, but looks like you are right about the average age of CC readers.
Mibbitmaker
December 4th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Goddamn, postjumped!
Please don’t miss my #y197 (a Michael O’Donoghue parody re:MT) and y199.
(I definately don’t miss being post-jumped. It was a great and long haul, but it hadda end sometime)
Shlomo
December 4th, 2009 at 11:57 am
MT- OK. I know I failed science numerous times, but what the hell is “unstable sand”? The jack is unstable. Unless we are dealing with quicksand here, which would be the greatest moment in comics history.
A3G- Memo to Bobbie. When you curse in comics, it is not a good idea to curse using the !! word. I thought the sentence stopped at “Just do the”!! Since A3G does not make sense normally, I thought it was just being consistent.
Larry Fine
December 4th, 2009 at 11:59 am
FC — I just threw up in my mouth.
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Great.
In FW we have Le Chat Blue de Mort.
In MT, we have a dwarf dog made of dough and nonpareils who keeps edging toward the brink.
Is he really a death seeker like Jim Morrison was, or merely daft?
Calico
December 4th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
3G – Speaking of cussing, I recently watched the latest ep of “Intervention.”
Linda the Fentanyl addict swears up such a storm toward the end she makes Gordon Ramsay or Sarge (BB Sarge, that is) sound like newborn kitties.
Bobbie, darlin’, you’ve got some practicin’ to do.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 4th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
#25 Dan,
Oh, I do hope you’re remembered come Monday night.
GNemec
December 4th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
If you think of Jeffy as wearing a hat made from the top half of a mini-Thel mannequin, then the picture makes sense.
Professor Fate
December 4th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Luaan: 1) No flossing in the comics please.
2) There is protective but what I get is a Momma Bates creepy insane “Norman put me by the window” vibe.
MW: Does she ever stop eating? And what the hell is she eating? How much beige food can one eat?
FW: Mabye I’m not well but I found this amusing.
qmodo
December 4th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Will Sassy be squashed without ever revealing what weird breed she’s supposed to be?
Oh, and the suspension of the station wagon – what??? Has Elrod never looked under a real car? I can’t figure out what he’s trying to draw there, but it looks like an axle hung on three shock absorbers. Not sure how that’s supposed to work.
AhClem
December 4th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
MT – Ooh, I can’t wait for this! Mark will yell “You crushed a friend on mine’s pet dog!” and then punch the car.
Unless Rusty is the one who gets trapped, in which case Mark will yell “You crushed a friend of mine’s freakishly-deformed humanoid!”, but the punching will still happen, so it’s all good.
AhClem
December 4th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Friend of mine’s. Friend OF mine’s. Stupid fingers.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
It looks like Rusty is saying “HO, SASSY.” Since ghetto language hasn’t made it within a thousand miles or fifty years of Lost Forest, I have to assume he’s acting out a Shakespeare play. Let’s hope it’s a tragedy.
Steve S
December 4th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
#74 is Steve S posting from a different computer…
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
December 4th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
re-FOOB: I know I’m breaking the blood-oath against posting anything about the re-foob-disaster……..but I think I hate St. Michael more as a kid than as an adult…….if that’s possible.
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Um, I’m trying not to just post this all the time, but…
FREE CUE! FREE CUE!! FREE CUE!!
The guy needs to get back to his crib!
–Also, #58 formerly Ben, glad to know I wasn’t the only one who wondered if Rocky was spitting or vomiting. Anyway, Sarge sure looks super-happy!
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
BB – Psst, Walkers, usually you either (A) use an existing song, (B) find a songwriter to give you some lyrics to use, or (C) leave the lyrics implied. Any one of these strategies would probably have worked better.
Crankshaft – …I have to admit, I kind of enjoy watching Ed be creative in his dickishness. This is probably because there aren’t many people in the strip that I actually like, so anybody is more or less a legitimate target as far as I’m concerned.
DTM – This just in, guys: misspelling and hyphenating a word in a comic caption is still not inherently funny. Further bulletins as events warrant.
DT – This would be much more interesting if I didn’t know that these guys were secretly criminals, and it was just the story of a violinist losing his sheet music and improvising a kickass performance nonetheless. As it is, I think the actual storyline is going to be a step down.
FW – Wow. It’s the heartwarming Christmas special in which the main character has his display of holiday spirit ruined by the Man, and…that’s it, actually. There is no heartwarming comeback, he just has it ruined. Merry Christmas, everybody!
GT – Why sweat it? It’s just practice for all the felonies he’ll be comitting as a member of the NFL!
H&L – I’m pretty sure today’s Hi & Lois is about Chip’s kinky teenage sexcapades.
JP – Worst Cop Ever? I dunno; I think that title might be more deserved by the guy in Rex Morgan who arrests a punk for asking for money to tell someone where their patients are, but this fellow’s certainly trying, too.
Luann – Okay, I’ll explain it for you: YOU’RE A HORRIBLE CONTROLLING BITCH WHO WILL NEVER, EVER CEDE POSSESSION OF YOUR SON TO ANY OTHER WOMAN BECAUSE OF YOUR CRIPPLING REVERSE OEDIPUS COMPLEX. Is that clear enough?
MT – So this is either the lightest car in all of history, or the strongest dog. Either way, I gleefully anticipate the outcome.
MW – Yum yum! For dessert, it’s Mary’s famous Ovum Oreos! Anyway, I think we’re setting up for an old classmate of Wilbur’s to get in touch with him and turn out to be clingy and desperate, and play into the whole “my wife is totally not leaving me, no sir, no way!” thing. This could be beautiful, folks.
MC – Um…huh. That’s an interesting expression Ashley has in panel two.
RMMD -
If there’s something wrong
In your relationship
Who ya gonna call?
CUE BUSTER!
SM – “Also, it’s unsinkable.”
Edison Lee – I’m not really an Aerosmith fan, and Lord knows I hold at least one thing agains them, but nobody deserves a guest appearance in The B.M. Of Edison Lee.
Marion Delgado
December 4th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
You know Josh is a class act when you compare his comment on Family Circus to what the various parody sites will caption this one with.
Paul1963
December 4th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Unless Sassy has a little dwarf star lodged in her gut, I question whether she has the necessary weight to dislodge that two-ton station wagon from its perch atop that bumper jack.
Speaking of which–a bumper jack?! That car must really be as old as it appears. The newest car I’ve owned that didn’t have a scissor jack was a 1976 model.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 4th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Humanoid Female y174,
Loved your Snuffy remix. Anyone who hasn’t seen it, go back now.
Perky Bird
December 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Do you know why that toupee looks so odd? Because it’s not a toupee. It’s a merkin.
Marion Delgado
December 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Ace:
I think Ashley? the tiger girl wanted to go out with Norm the platypus the exact same day Bridget called and wanted to re-hook-up with Norm, and Norm said something like he didn’t want to be another of Ashley’s mistake boyfriends. So this could just be physical affection from the one that got away “humor.”
TheDiva
December 4th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
C’shaft: Finally, someone said it!
DT: I suppose any writer still using the phrase “long-hair music” can’t be bothered to look up the term “concertmaster.”
FW: Of course, this could all have been avoided by looking up the public display laws, but then Funky might have avoided some misery and we can’t have that, now can we?
HotC: Is it too much to hope for that Lio will cameo as Snoopy?
Luann: I can think of several ways ti explain it. “Overbearing control freak” is perhaps the most polite.
MW: “Now Mary, you know full well I have no friends, pasr or present…”
UncleJeff
December 4th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
FC: OK, bats:{, C. Sandy Cyst or whoever: blow up that Big Daddy Keane/Dolly smooch and “have at it” (uh, of course, other than the way BDK and Dolly are “having at it”)
Joe Blevins
December 4th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
HtH: Wearing horned helmets to bed + massive alcohol consumption late at night = A seemingly preventable and yet inevitable tragedy in the Horribles’ marriage.
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Slightly OT question for those who mentioned public service campaigns warning against swerving to avoid deer: Are you supposed to just plow full-speed into the deer?
Here in the frozen north we have a bumper stickers distributed by the dept. of highways that say “I brake for moose!” and “Brake for moose–it could save your life.” Because moose are huge, and pretty likely to total you, as well as your car, if you hit them.
So if you see a moose, don’t swerve, but do brake.
–A public service announcement from the northcountry.
Baron Bizarre
December 4th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Fausto @ 57 says: “Previous FC strips have portrayed Grandpa as an angel, but here he is again in flesh and bone. Was Grandpa resurrected, or is this the start of the Zombie Apocalypse?”
As I recall, the paternal grandfather is the dead one. The maternal grandfather – the one pictured – is the one still alive.
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
#87 Mardou Fox – You’re supposed to slam on the brakes to minimize the impact, just don’t swerve. Deer aren’t nearly as massive as moose, but they can still total your car and cause serious injury if you hit them at high enough speeds, whereas in a minimal-speed collision, if you’re lucky, you might just crumple your bumper and get stuck on top of the corpse. The reason you aren’t supposed to swerve is because you primarily encounter deer in wooded areas, and a tree is a lot more likely to kill you than a deer.
Vince M
December 4th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Luann: Ugh, it’s that attitude of “I’m hard-wired that way so I won’t even make an effort” with a hint of “and YOU couldn’t possibly understand!”
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
#89 I thought maybe it was “Don’t swerve–accelerate!” …Some kind of herd-management program. :)
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
#91 Mardou Fox – Nah, the herd management comes into play the first week of November, when a bunch of freelance herd managers opt to sit in trees for hours on cold winter mornings, hoping for the opportunity to practice some herd management ;)
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
December 4th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
#82 Perky Bird:
Why, yes it is! It most certainly is a merkin! Helluva big ‘un, at that.
Little Merkins
…and now that I see that in print, what a great name for a comic strip “Little Merkins” would be.
Carbunicle
December 4th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Not in this American’s America, by Jimminy!
queek
December 4th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
92: here its mainly mid-November to the end of the month, but archery and muzzle-loading seasons extend on either side.
venison, it’s what’s for dinner!
Krazy Kat
December 4th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Mama Keene looks like she’s bending down to kiss… who, exactly? She seems to have forgotten that her other four children are locked in the Kompound basement for transgressions unspecified. A momentary lapse of memory no doubt brought on from too much incestuous making out.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
December 4th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
BB: My Panel 2 read is that Rocky is bending over and bracing himself, nervously awaiting Sarge’s exit from the shower. The “it” to which Beetle refers is not Rocky’s song but rather his dignity.
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
#95 Bear steaks: the other dark meat!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
December 4th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
95 — I’m personally a fan of venison sausage. Have a friend who takes his meat with bow, with the occasional foray into pistol.
Batman Beatles
December 4th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
RMMD: Becka is thinking “Oh God, will you please go home now?!”
Baka Gaijin
December 4th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Mark Trail: If only that dog were a clown backing into a jack…holding up the roof of the clown school…on graduation day…and homecoming combined. No, I don’t like clowns, why do you ask? Who’s that white jacket with the extra long arms for?
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
#101 It would be glorious to see Mark Trail punch a whole troupe of bearded clowns!
Marthas Rolling Pin
December 4th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
I have to admit, I was genuinely amused by the little background details in GA today: the blood transfusion bottle feeding the “plasma TV”, and the can of “Ko-Kola” in the second panel (OK, you may have to be Southern to catch that one). The looming story line doesn’t appear to have much promise, but the throwaway stuff sure is fun.
queek
December 4th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
102: well, he certainly won’t be punching any bearded clams, so the clowns will have to do.
Baka Gaijin
December 4th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
#102 Mardou Fox: My Christmas Wish: Mark’ll mistake the
prideclutch of clowns’ freakishly large lip makeup for facial hair. Visions of sugar plums and flying fists dancing through my head, JackDanielsFrost nipping at my nose…queek
December 4th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
True Fable has been posting on Daily Squee again, I see.
http://dailysquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/129039398779584600.jpg
Aviatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
RMMD frankly confuses me. All that creepiness involving Tim and it ends in a cheery promise to e-mail? Is this supposed to show Becka being tempted? Her incredible professionalism? Or is everything we read into the story entirely of our own devising, and it’s just a bland story about a woman with an insecure husband helping a man find his mother?
MW – I called it! Wilbur is using Facebook to cruise for new “acquaintances.”
fausto @57 – Perhaps one grandfather is deceased and the other still walks the earth. Or are Bill and Thel brother and sister?
aloha_breeze @62 – Looks like Curmudgeons, like Wilbur, like to create Facebook profiles for their younger alter egos “looking to meet” high school girls.
commodorejohn @89 – With moose you get stuck under the corpse, or it comes through the window and decapitates you. Common car versus moose accident ends with car in road, moose body on hood, moose head in front seat of car, driver head in back seat of car.
If we don’t hear anything about Cue by the end of this arc, I’m writing in. FREE CUE NOW!
Mikey Kay
December 4th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
FC: Look, lest there be any doubts about what happened in the moment right before that which today’s strip depicts, please refer to Exhibit A:
http://joshreads.com/?p=4764
That’s just how Mommy Keene kisses.
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
#107 Aviatrix – Yeah, I’ve heard some nasty stories about that. I know of at least one person who got decaptitated in a deer collision (not personally, thankfully,) but I gather that was a pretty exceptional case.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Edison Lee: It’s sort of like the time the Rolling Stones came to Bloom County! Except not funny! Mission accomplished!
Steve the Pocket
December 4th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
@#57, 88: Correct, although to the credit of anyone who’s confused, Thel’s parents haven’t appeared in new panels since as far back as I can remember (even this series is a blatant rerun) … whereas the other Grandma practically (if not literally) lives at the Keane Kompound these days. I guess other readers started getting confused too and
BilJeff decided “eh, screw it”?bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
79. Marion Delgado re FC: hey! I resemble that <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/4156653099/"remark!
In all honesty, that’s all I could think of when I saw drooly little Jeffy.
Dang, Rex has to make a reappearance — prurient snark works way better there.
Darkefang
December 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Yeah, naked Sarge is exactly the image I need to start my weekend off right.
bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
112. Well, nertz.
(Oh, and Alfred E. Neuman? A finger to the chest is definitely a “poink!”, not a “thump”…)
Lucky
December 4th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
@ #111 Steve the Pocket – Speaking of which, where the ef has Bil’s mother been hiding during the past couple of weeks? She didn’t even join the Thanksgiving dinner did she? Does she hate Thel’s parents so much that she skipped town, did she die off-panel, or did Bil just decide that supporting Thel’s parents is a lot smaller pain and threw his own mother in some nursing home instead? At least that last possibility would explain why they’re still around so long after Thanksgiving.
Thomas B.
December 4th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
FC
Jeffy is floating, Mommy’s feet are not on the ground, and Daddy might not be on the ground either. Strange, I knew the Keanes could walk on water but air is a new one for me.
Hibbleton
December 4th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
FC: They’re not kissing the kids. They’re all taking turns inflating their repulsive heads. Granda Pa, who is frailest, does PJ. Momma Keene, out of breath after blowing up Billy(or Jeffy, but who gives a shit), is in a stupor caused by lack of oxygen.
bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
96. Krazy Kat re FC: I think that’s a little chapter from someone’s life who would dearly love to forget that it ever happened…
Rhekarid
December 4th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
And here I thought Funky Winkerbean would be the only comic in which I could say the happiest part of the entire series was when a child and a puppy were smashed under a car.
Thomas B.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
“Don’t let her run under the car, the sand is too unstable! But if you want to crawl under there Rusty, go right ahead.”
C’mon Mark, you can save every animal known to the woods but you let a child crawl under the car without a word?!
And look at panel 2. That car is positioned above Rusty like a damn guillotine. This will not end well.
You know, I could see this as a great lead in to Sunday’s “Nature Education Series.”
“Sand is a fine, granular material composed of rock and other mineral particles.” (Picture of a Mark sifting sand through his fingers.)
“Sand is mostly closely associated with deserts and beaches, but can be found in many locations.” (Distant shot of a beach.)
“Sand is an essential component in the agricultural, industrial, and land scaping industries. It is often used to preserve eroding shore lines.” (Picture back loader dumping sand.)
“Most people don’t realize that sand is a hazardous and unstable material. You should use care when, oh I dont know, changing a car tire on a sandy beach while a young boy and his dog run around.” (Picture of seagull descending on a crab.)
“Fortunately, a sandy beach is also ideal for hiding bodies under 40 lbs. And the ocean tide is sure to wash any blood stains away.” (Tide dragging crab carcus out to sea.)
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
You know what? I’ve seen trucks that didn’t have that much clearance.
SF_Reader
December 4th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
MW: Does Wilbur ever stop eating? Do his sagging jowls and pot belly really turn women on? While Mary refuses to even kiss Jeff, does she secretly have casual sexual encounters with Wilbur? And where the hell are the salmon squares?
CanuckDownSouth
December 4th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
#107, 109 re: Moose Yeah, my country’s quadriplegic member of parliament was apparently *lucky* to only have been put into a wheelchair in that moose-car accident.
Peripheral Visionary
December 4th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Crankshaft: Amen to that, sister!
Funky Winkerbean: It wasn’t the citation for an Oversized Display that got him into trouble as much as it was the whopper for a fine for Holiday Cheer. Merry Christmas from the Funky Winkerverse!
Luann: I can’t be the only person who finds public flossing to be repulsive.
Mark Trail: Unless that beach suddenly and unexpectedly grows whiskers, I’m having a difficult time seeing how this turns out.
CanuckDownSouth
December 4th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
The creepiest part of FC today is in the background. I can excuse the drop of spit from the wiping. I can convince my brain to interpret the kiss on Dolly as just barely next to her lips. Baby PJ is just being normal and going for Grandpa’s face.
But Billy’s limp. In full romantic-heroine-swoon-mode. No. Just – no. I don’t need to think about a (reverse ?)-Menoeceus case (What’s Greek for grandparent-of-Oedipus and where’s a speed-dial number for a good psychologist in Keaneville when you need one?)
Poteet
December 4th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
SNUFFY — I gotta say that eyeroll in the first panel is one of the creepier eyerolls I’ve seen all year. At first I thought it was a spider in her hair.
Alan's Addiction
December 4th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I see that Bobbie is trying her new martial arts move, the “Dim Mak Death Touch” in today’s “Apartment 3G.”
Hagar sleeps WITH his keg in bed? That’s going beyond simple addiction issues and right into psychosexual nightmares.
Attention, “Mark Trail” writers: I realize that finding fresh new ecological threats for Mark to punch may be difficult in today’s environmentally-correct world, but if you’re going have him save Rusty and Sassy from a car that’s sinking into wet sand… Well, it’s time to consider picking up a newspaper and reading about developments in environmentalism since 1953. Seriously, saving “Ugly” and “Uglier” from the threat of wet sand and heavy car parts in a situation they created? Even “Spider-Man” gets more menacing villains.
I approve of Marmaduke’s decision to grow a massive, ZZ Top-style beard.
Poteet
December 4th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
# 125 Canuck — Thanks for making me even more grossed out by this strip than I was already, something I wouldn’t have thought was possible. I’m going to take a shower.
dr.giraud
December 4th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
MW: What game is afoot, Worth? Some unfinished, long-ago, Wilbur-related meddle you plan to rekindle via Facebook?
MT: Sassy will not be crushed, but the car will be stranded in the sand. The tide will carry them out to sea where Mark can finally punch that giant squid.
Gen
December 4th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
This very same Sassy-knocks-out-car-jack-causing-car-to-land-on-Rusty plot was in MT sometime in 1985-86. I remember because a panel from it was in my high school yearbook: Rusty, trapped under the car, saying something like, “Don’t worry, Sassy! I know you didn’t mean to knock out that jack.”
Dr. Weird
December 4th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
FW
That shot of Funky in panel too, inhuman yet calculating rage playing across his face, is quite creepy. He looks like he’s channeling some Universal movie monster.
Poteet
December 4th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
# 127 Alan’s — There actually are some fresh new ecological threats that Mark could theoretically punch. Some of them could even involve cute little dogs.
As just one example, Sassy could, this very week, be threatened by one of the many Burmese pythons that have been released into the Florida outdoors by their idiot former owners, pythons which are now reproducing in the wild and pose a major threat to native wildlife. Google “burmese python florida” and the panic in the articles is palpable.
But if I actually saw such an up-to-date relevant storyline in MT, I might faint and injure myself on the way to the floor. So thanks, Elrodball, for protecting me.
Farley's Revenge
December 4th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
#18Patrick:
For some reason, I’m hearing that word drawn out, with emphasis on the “s”-desssss-tiny-and some heavy breathing.
Can’t imagine why.
Sequitur
December 4th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
FC: Looks like Dad Keane just blew up his Dolly. That’s as far as I’m going with that. Brain bleach is at a premium here.
odinthor
December 4th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
MT. — Sassy is about to become Squishy.
Muffaroo
December 4th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Spotted HØrse @55 – I was in the mood for canned tamales the other day, and carefully checked the Mexican aisle for some. It would have been the first time in over thirty years. I found them, wrapped in parchment, as always… but the fat content was so high, I groaned and put them back. Alas. At least the frozen Goya tamales are doable. (I miss the fresh tamales I used to get at the strip center near my house in Virginia, just as I miss the Tacos de Chorizo across the corner from there.)
Perky Bird @82 – I’m glad somebody said it. I thought about it, but my comments were already kind of raunchy by that time, and I sometimes exercise restraint. (And now I’m hearing Paul Harvey say “Hello Merkins!”)
Mardou Fox @87 – Twice in the last month I’ve had to brake for deer. The first time, I’d turned around to photograph a whole herd of them in the corn stubble, and as I got there, some more decided my approach signaled the perfect time to cross over. I stopped without much difficulty, conscious of just how lousy it would be to hit deer I was hoping to photograph. PS: the pictures were crummy. The other time was when I was driving home with my daughter after dark. There was a regular conga line of hoofed ruminants, which I dutifully pointed out to her.
Al @99 – Dad used to bring home deer with a muzzle-loading rifle he made himself. One year he got one with a bow. We would pack the freezer and eat venison until it started to smell funny, and after that we’d put it in the blender and add it to the dog’s food.
Marthas Rolling Pin @103 – Our town in SE Georgia used to have a Chero-Cola bottling plant. There was a fine big sign for it in a narrow alley, which was in near-perfect condition, but well-nigh unphotographable because the alley was only about seven feet wide. If I could have gotten them to open the alley doors of the movie theater, maybe, but I gather that those doors hadn’t been opened in decades. (The theater had a balcony that used to be for ‘the colored.’ How recently it had been used that way, I know not.)
Mark – If the jack does shift and trap them under, I see a great chance for the Sandman to score some big PR points. (“Wait! Don’t use the crane — I can communicate with sand…”)
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Re: running into members of the deer family
I don’t know if this is true in every state, but here you can get on a list for…. road kill. Not little critters, but deer. If you’re on the list and the authorities find a fresh deer in the road, they call you up and you scoot on over and get your venison. It’s actually a great program, helping people get a freezer full of meat and also keeping dead deer off the road. I once drove through Pennsylvania in the middle of the night on a major trucking highway. I passed so many liquified deer in varying stages of decay that I had nightmares about it for a while. They needed a road kill list over there.
The trouble with moose is, they are so tall, their legs are so spindly, and they’re so heavy. Recipe for smashing through the top of your vehicle. This comment is getting grisly. I’ll stop now.
AndyL
December 4th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
“This car might fall off from its jack at any moment, Crushing anything underneath it! Rusty, you crawl under there to make sure there isn’t an adorable animal that might be crushed. “
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
“Oh, Rusty, you got Sassy out? Say, crawl around under there a little more and make sure there aren’t any crabs or sand lice or little shorebirds in danger under that heavy vehicle, won’t you, please?”
Bryan
December 4th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Blondie’s breasts don’t even look like they’re attached. I’ll defend Blondie’s breasts to my least breath but the loving detail usually showed to them has been lacking in recent months.
Uncle Lumpy
December 4th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
@Mardou Fox (#137) –
When you get grisly, slow-cook it in liquid, and serve with a tart sauce to cut the gamy taste.
Mardou Fox
December 4th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
#141 Mmmmm, thanks, Uncle Lumpy. Topped with a sprinkle of fresh squeaky curd, it will be divine!
Sequitur
December 4th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
A car collapsing on Rusty could only improve his features.
Mark should have used a board or something broad and flat to put under that jack. I’m surprised he was able to jack up the car at all on sand.
UncleJeff
December 4th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
#s 107, 109, 123 re: moose
Did you see the “Mythbusters” episode where they tried to recreate a car/moose collision?
To approximate the weight and density of a real moose, they made a lifesize moose out of rubber.
No foam rubber but real you-make-tires-out-of rubber because of the density of a moose’s weight.
My sister got bit by a moose.
bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
144. UncleJeff: Mind you, Møøse bites can be pretty nasty.
Oh, come on. You know someone was going to say it.
Jonny Quest
December 4th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
A3G: Tell the professor that Bobbie likes to play rough.
UncleJeff
December 4th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
#82 Perky Bird: You mean like pitcher Merkin “no nickname, please” Valdez of the San Francisco Giants?
UncleJeff
December 4th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
145 bats:{ No realli. She was karving her initials on the moose…
Dingo
December 4th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
What do you expect from a dog named Sassy? Clothing the homeless and feeding soup to the poor? That bitch has been looking for the day she takes out Rusty and where better than the beach to accomplish her fiendish plan.
Mustang
December 4th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
FC – Q: What do you call your act? A: THE ARISTOCRATS!!!”
Muffaroo
December 4th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
150: see 25.
Keg of Curd
December 4th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
#142 – Always have some on hand. I recommend it.
Aviatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Mardou Fox @137 – Where I lived once, they took edible carcasses to the food bank. But if you were on the scene of a fresh roadkill and had a hunting licence, the authorities let you trade a tag for the carcass, no sitting in trees necessary.
You could get getting grizzly that way, I suppose, but they aren’t as tasty.
anonymous
December 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
#57 – geez, fausto, pay attention! This is THEL’S big fat momma (and dad) who are making a once in a lifetime appearance since they live in Australia. The other doddering oldster Gramma is Daddy Keane’s momma and it’s HER sainted husband who’s always spying on the family from a cloud…
Pinko
December 4th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
We now have undeniable proof that the Keane family spends their holiday season hosting wild, incestuous make-out parties with their children. Just look at grandma go to town on Billy!
Carbunicle
December 4th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Some previous thread called out the outrageous perspective in Mark Trail. At some point, a doodle happened. It should read, “My God, it is full of Rusty!” or perhaps, “My God, Rusty is full of stars!” however.
Chronic Masturbatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
@90 Vince M:
(quote) Luann: Ugh, it’s that attitude of “I’m hard-wired that way so I won’t even make an effort” with a hint of “and YOU couldn’t possibly understand!” (endquote)
I heard THAT. It ties in nicely with Evans’ philosophy, though: “Women are glorious inscrutable angels and Men are bowel movements with hair in them.”
I’m surprised Evans is depicting Mrs. D in such a negative light…but then, he probably doesn’t realize it’s a negative light at all. It might just be the only way he thinks he can gin up sympathy for Toni. (Remember, boys: stay devoted to the manipulative tease, no matter how often she sets you up and knocks you down! One day, you’ll wind up in the hospital for her and then she’ll fall in love with you! It worked for Milhouse and it’ll work for you!)
Sallie Melcher
December 4th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
151: I know. I saw that. I just wanted to repeat it for the people who only have time to read the bottom half of the comments.
zerowolf
December 4th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
RMMD: The most natural continuation of this arc has Tim posting bail for Cue and offering him a contract to take out Peter.
Jamus the Bartender
December 4th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
9CL: You know, Matt Helm used to say that the spy game was no place for a sentimental slob, but then he said this when he was BEING a sentimental slob, so……yeah.
Dick Tracy: Methinks a certain detective wants to sit in front of the TV with his favorite bottle of grain alcohol rather than be with his lady.
Gasoline Alley: Ohhhh, I get it. “Plasma” TV. Well played.
Luann: So….Nancy is using the National Geographic argument for being a major bitch to Toni?
Slylock: Wow. Hagar on crack. And, Anna Conners age 12 of Batavia NY does a hell of a Therese from For Better Or For Worse.
My Cage: Ooo…this doesn’t bode well. Now that Norm is more or less taken, Ashley’s taken to playfully fondling Norm. And next comes the inevitable cat fight where Bridget tries to take a chunk out of Ashley.
zerowolf
December 4th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I thought Family Circus took place in Arizona, not Appalachia.
zerowolf
December 4th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Nancy, it’s not because your a mother, it’s because you area bitch.
bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
161. zerowolf: there are places in Arizona…
Aviatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Sallie Melcher @158 – Wha? Should someone now repost it for the people who only read the prime-numbered comments?
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
#157 Chronic Masturbatrix – “Manipulative tease?” Toni’s all but forced herself on Brad on multiple occasions, stopped only by the fact that Mrs. deGroot has successfully purged all but the faintest hints of sexuality from him. Toni’s a tease like the Terminator is a peaceful, agreeable sort of guy.
Sequitur
December 4th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Here’s the kind of moose bite I would like.
Ashtree
December 4th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
@62 Oh I don’t know. Alot of us are probably lurking such as I was.
bats :[
December 4th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
166. Sequitur: oh nom nom nom!
There used to be a bar in Tucson that would have 3-for-1 happy hours, including all the keen ice cream drinks. It didn’t feel the need to skimp on either the ice cream and booze. Honest to gosh, how we got home one night was pretty terrifying — nothing bad happened, but no one had any memory of the line from Point A (bar) to Point B (home).
Niall
December 4th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
1. Ace: I’m not sure either, but in any case, I envision one hell of a debauched bachelor’s party for Norm…
deldisco
December 4th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Does the Marmaduke lady have an erection?
wossname
December 4th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
164 Aviatrix: sorry, I didn’t hear what you said, because 164 = 2 x 2 x 41.
mr 12 oz can
December 4th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
look the car is gonna fall on rusty and sassy but mark will make like aquaman and a stupid whalwewill beach itself and knock the car over with it s tail then mark with his new aquaman power will have a dolphin bring rusty to a doctor at sea world
mr 12 oz can
December 4th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
i know moy has to drag out the story but you know mary will be checking out wilbers woodchipper or crawlspace sooner or later to find the remains of iris . wilber likes to have fun that line is too funny
Aviatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
171 wossname – I was AIMING at 163, but I bet you’re now sitting there sniping the prime numbers.
Anonymous
December 4th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Not now, Marmaduke, Hitler’s watchin’ his stories.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 4th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
MT: Sassy strains at a rope to go toward a ravenous alligator, but backs away from Rusty.
Smart dog.
Ubiq
December 4th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
175 was me; I forgot to check to see if my name was entered or not.
Poteet
December 4th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
# 87 Mardou Fox — Iowa has a serious deer overpopulation problem (though Pennsylvania has a worse one), and yeah, we are advised to brake and plow right into the deer, even if there are no trees near the road. There are almost always road ditches, and ending up in one tends to be worse than hitting the deer. But deer grow so big in Iowa that hitting one is often a major accident, so there’s really no happy choice when a deer looms up directly ahead.
I have been amazingly lucky for someone who lives in rural Iowa (knock hard on wood). I haven’t hit a deer yet, though I did see a big buck charge onto a paved road in broad daylight and hit the side of the small car right behind mine. I don’t know what that car did to offend the buck, but I was grateful my car hadn’t done it.
queek
December 4th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
160: lingerie match on PPV. I’d be SOOOOOOOOO there. ;-)
*waves NormLey flag*
Chronic Masturbatrix
December 4th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
@165 commodorejohn:
Manipulative: Toni would swear off Dirk, then contrive confrontations between Dirk and Brad, knowing full that Dirk enjoys stalking and sucker-punching people, and later, that Brad had a restraining order against Dirk.
Tease: Toni would also repeatedly bring teh sexay on strong to Brad, and then abruptly wheel around and say “I just want to be friends!” or try to make Brad feel guilty about responding to her come-ons. (Again, this is prior to Brad’s “Horatio Alger” moment where we are taught that desperate persistence and self-endangerment will win over the coldest heart honk honk.)
So I stand by my previous statement. Toni’s history doesn’t vanish just because Evans is currently turning up the bitchometer to psychotic levels on Mrs. DeGroot.
Agent 07
December 4th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
FC: While I normally never second guess Josh’s curmudgeonly commentary, I am afraid I must this evening: I am torn as to whether I’d call that offering “vigorously repulsive” or “viscously repulsive”.
But no worries, as long as it’s understood that it’s just plain repulsive any way you slice it. Ugh.
Poteet
December 4th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I feel somewhat akin to a dimwit, but so it goes. I’d like to send a short email message to the Chron website, thanking them for letting me read MY CAGE every day. I searched their site for a few minutes and the only “contact us” I found led to a snailmail address and a couple of phone numbers, which aren’t what I want. Probably I didn’t search well enough, but I don’t know what else to do. If someone could direct me to or give me an appropriate email address, I’d be very grateful.
commodorejohn
December 4th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
#180 Chronic Masturbatrix – Ah. That was well before I started reading Luann, I guess.
Écureuil Écumant
December 4th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
BB: OK, I know they used to have a taboo on showing toilets in the comics, but it’s been breached. So what’s with this puking in the sink? That’s just so frat.
Hagar: A hundred bottles of wool on the wall, a hundred bottles of wool…
FC: A fingerpoke to Thel’s chest looks like it would go “Poioioioioioioing!”
Pharmacistrix
December 4th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Woodpeckers, nuthatches and titmice prefer the rib cage of a butchered deer to suet cakes. Quite decorative hanging in the backyard crabapple tree, dusted with snow.
Jamus the Bartender
December 4th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
179, et al. That reminds me, I keep meaning to show everyone this, but I keep forgettting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs
I laughed my ass off :)
mollificent
December 4th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
A3G: I had to explain to my visiting mom why I was giggling madly for no apparent reason. It’s hard to explain to a non-CC enthusiast how almost the only comics that are consistently funny are the ones that aren’t trying to be.
It stopped being funny when in mid-explanation I said “So, this floozy, Bobbie…” and then clamped my mouth shut. My mother’s name is Bobbie. Funny how these things slip your mind, eh?
P.S. #30 Muffaroo: THAT would be the most awesome A3G plot twist EVAH.
BB: AGH AGH AGH naked sarge nononono must unsee! Who’s got the brain bleach?
Luann: Another explanation necessitated when I burst into incredulous laughter. Nancy DeGroot is officially BATSHIT INSANE. “Of course Toni is really a wonderful person…who had better keep her slutty whory filthy trampy hands off my sweet, stupid, naive boy!”
(And I think “I’m protective” needs to go up on the plaque with “It’s called WRITING” in the Bullshit Justifications Hall of Fame.)
MT: *facepalm*
RMMD: News flash, Tim: STFU!
Slylock Fox: Hey, it’s Diamanda Tockley!
Retail: Is Norm Feuti a Mudgeon? Come out come out, wherever you are!
stumps
December 4th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
#87, 137, etc – MT – But it was not a moose, rather about a 140 pound deer – braking is correct, and then hit the darn thing – cars are repairable (my wife’s collision cost State Farm $4k) and she drove away. Had she done a MT, she would have been injured at a minimum. Had Mark done the right thing, we would not be discussing the iminent (and deserved) death of Rusty and Sassy (a twofer)
On a side note – if about to hit a horse on a motorcycle, accelerate, lay the bike down, and slide – the bike will flip the horse into the air allowing you to pass safely underneath – at least that is what the instructor told me (he did not answer when I asked if he had tested this technique). If its a cow, just hit the darn thing as it will fall on you if you try to slide under it (from the Peace Corps Motorcyle riding guide – 1980)
sugarpie
December 4th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Poteet Try this: http://www.chron.com/news/help/
Or you can email them at readerrep@chron.com
Earthgirl
December 4th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Marmaduke is even more poorly scribbled today than usual.
gleeb
December 4th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Candor :Cripes, are you serious about this or not? It’s time to choose, because you can’t do both, not at once. Don’t worry, you can always punt to some crap vampire story, you hack.
Brenda :Yeah, yeah, Brenda, poverty-tour’s over. Go home, Babe.
Bizarro :Now there’s a church militant!
Blondie: I’ve seen Blondie, so I understand Dagwood’s motive, but why is Alexander doing anything?
’shaft :Hell, I wanted it to stop back on Monday.
Doonesbury:Oh, they guy who hesitates when speaking and the guy who sometimes unexpectedly speaks REALLY LOUDLY. Such subtlety.
‘bean :Funky doesn’t care about the law. Nor about his brother/cousin/whatever Wally, who has been sitting in a room with a barrel in his mouth for two fucking weeks now.
H&L :Chip is a sick fuck.
Rex :Please, ignore the wet bastard.
Buck Ripsnort
December 4th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Dammit Jeffy, you’ve been told a million times, NO TONGUE FOR GOODNIGHT KISS! Now you’ve got Daddy and Granma aroused. And you know who’s gonna have to take care of them, don’t you? It’s not like they’re coming after YOUR wormy ass, now is it?
tommy
December 4th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Some rather adult situations in the comics today. Bobbie’s paying for !!#* jobs and Maramduke’s bringing home other people’s merkens
name
December 5th, 2009 at 12:12 am
That Family Circus also illustrated how freakishly short the kids are. Look how deeply the father is squatting down, so that his chest is basically on his knees. Try doing that, and see how far your face is off the ground. Less than two feet, I’d say, if you’re a man of average height. And yet he just barely reaches Dolly, who’s standing on her tiptops and craning her neck. Not to mention the havoc that sort of bending must be wreaking on non-widow grandma’s back.
Nim
December 5th, 2009 at 12:19 am
Today’s Family Circus looks like some sort of revolting pedophilic porno. I mean, the way all the kids are paired with adults just kissing them smack on the mouth is…..
Carly
December 5th, 2009 at 12:34 am
I totally misread who the speech balloon was coming from in the second A3G panel. It’d probably be more interesting if whatsherface was being hired to find that guy’s cheating husband.
And I think MT’s cheating and recycling Sassy art. That panel three pose looks really really familiar.
rallyrev
December 5th, 2009 at 12:38 am
Jump Start: Given the sloppy execution of this week’s storyline, does that make today’s strip a PAP smear?
Thomas B.
December 5th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Is that voyeuristic Pacman peeking in on the Keanes supposed to be the moon?
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 1:42 am
# 189 sugarpie — Thanks so much! I have always depended on the kindness of strangers, but this is the only place where it has really paid off:-).
Chromium
December 5th, 2009 at 2:05 am
#157: “I’m surprised Evans is depicting Mrs. D in such a negative light…but then, he probably doesn’t realize it’s a negative light at all.”
That’s the main problem I have with this strip. I’m never sure if I’m supposed to be marveling at the stupidity of these parents or agreeing with them. With “Mary Worth,” I can be SURE that I’m laughing ironically.
I was going to say that Mrs. DeGroot’s attitude is particularly mental given that Brad has known Toni for something like seven years (?) now, but the passage of time is as baffling as everything else in the strip.
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 2:18 am
12/5 Violence Time –
MW — Wilbur, you pompous twit, stop mixing up the present, past, and subjunctive tenses. And stop misusing “who” and “legions.” You’ve been abusing the English language for days, and if you do it again, I’ll kick you where it counts.
RMMD — Listen, Wottsyername Husband, choose a bleeping hair color and stick to it, or I’ll rip some of those chameleon locks right out of your scalp.
GA — For picking up a full-grown cat that way, Rufus, I am now going to use this hacksaw to remove one of your arms. You can choose which one.
PLUGGERS — To stop your strip from approvingly showing heavily-polluting vehicles again and again and again, I am now going to put a few dozen bullet holes in that truck. Get out of it and stand back, you mutant fools, or I’ll put a couple of holes in you as well.
SNUFFY — HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUP *head explodes*
Mr. O'Malley
December 5th, 2009 at 2:38 am
FC: I like the way the Keanes’ constantly relocating house has stationed itself on the very edge of a flat earth. I look forward to seeing a dashed line going all the way down to the Star Turtle’s shell.
ReFoob: Obviously a pre-global warming rerun. Toronto just had the first snow-free November since records began.
MT: This is like one of those “what not to do” safety films. Every single action is fraught with danger.
More corporate sponsorship in the comics: Pluggers is taking payments from GM.
RMMD: The last panel is truly bizarre.
Danny Lilithborne
December 5th, 2009 at 2:43 am
Is Apt. 3-G trying to sell us one of those “she thinks her husband’s cheating because she’s cheating” morality tales? Because I’m pretty sure there are at least five versions of that in the Bible… >_>
Sterling
December 5th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Helga: “I _know_ you have trouble performing your marital duties, but _most_ people just fantasize about their teenage children’s friends!”
Mibbitmaker
December 5th, 2009 at 3:32 am
the 5th:
A3G: Bobbie unstable? Who knew?
Cleats: I love it, everyone else’ll hate it. NEXT…
Cranky: SO proud! … of nothing.
ECity: That guy in panel 3 — a cross between Homer Simpson and Fonzie. “Aaaaay! — D’oh!”
GT: You know what else is a fraud, Duncan? Your knuckles.
H&J: “Aphorisms ruin a man’s sex life.” — Mary Worth
Luann: A panel, black as her soul, and “nope” just describes NewNancy to a T.
MT: Hope you like wheelchairs, Rusty.
MW: psst. Wilbur. That old-ish woman behind you….
Popeye: Hey, beachballs — conquer with kindness? With the mood of the country right now? Yeah, good luck with that.
RMMD: She’s getting a boob erection! — over TIM?!?
The… Mind of Edison Lee: “…Oh, and those socialite scam artists that snuck into Obama’s first state dinner.”
Other Coast: Yeah, but you’re helping Mr. Krabs and Spongebob.
ZtP: Well, Griffy sure married the right woman! — though she should’ve asked about the two Darrins.
Jason1981
December 5th, 2009 at 3:49 am
12-5:
Luann: Ya know, I’m not a violent person, but…..slap her, Frank. Smack that smug expression (which she’s hiding in the dark) off her face.
If you hit her hard enough, maybe it’ll jump-start her brain.
Baka Gaijin
December 5th, 2009 at 4:53 am
#187 mollificent on Beetle Bailey: Sorry, kid, I bought up the brain bleach by the tankerful. That last Dick Tracy storyline was traumatic to some of us. EVILSCARYCLOWN memory!!! [dives into vat of brain bleach]
Ashtree
December 5th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Luann: Oh fuck this, I think I now know slightly the hatred Mordock999 feels for TJ.
Except this hatred is solely for Nancy. I guess she is (among other things) jealous that the lips of loveliness look better on Toni.
MT: Perspective is so weird in second panel that I’m having a hard time figuring out what part of Rusty is or will be crushed. Either way this storyline is already great and we haven’t even got up to the punching.
Oh and Mark Trail’s hair still looks great.
dale
December 5th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Poteet
Have you ever thought about the general problem of the prisoner gets to choose but has to worry about what the executioner will do based on his choice of punishment?
I don’t know about the GA Rufus, so let’s assume he’s just anybody. If he says: take my left arm because he wants to keep his right, can he count on you to take his left? Or should he say: take my right arm because he figures you’ll do the opposite?
The “other person knows I know” goes on and on.
Rufus could die from the brain strain before you get really irritated and pick a body part for him.
The Restless Mouse
December 5th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I wasn’t afraid to go to sleep from reading FC until I read comment #4 and went back and looked. Now it’s like that creepy painting on ebay with the eyeless doll and the hands on the door-glass.
sugarpie
December 5th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Mark Trail When I enlarged today’s strip to see what kind of contraband Mark was smuggling, I couldnt help but notice Rusty’s ‘Little Rusty’ flapping around. Poor Sassy! No wonder the little dog seems so skittish around Rusty.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
December 5th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Something about Mary Worth’s line and the way she’s gripping that cookie has a very Mafia boss feeling about it. Wilbur has just marked himself for death. I fear the cookie will be the weapon used to off him. I don’t know exactly how Mary Worth would kill somebody will a small sugar cookie, nor do I want to. Wilbur, however, is soon to find out.
Écureuil Écumant
December 5th, 2009 at 9:51 am
@201 Poteet says: “MW — Wilbur, you pompous twit, stop misusing ‘who’ and ‘legions.’ You’ve been abusing the English language for days, and if you do it again, I’ll kick you where it counts.”
Hope you’ve got your steel-toed boots on. He uses “who” for “whom” again today.
FW: No, a little more to the right … woops, that’s about an inch too far … now a bit lower … no, lower … no, lower … like, back in the basement.
RMMJ: Peter stares, aghast, as Becka’s implants “go critical”.
MT: Oh-oh! Now Mark’s got a huge problem. Rusty’s mangled body is trapped right under the jacking point. He’s gonna have real trouble getting that tire changed now, for sure.
Mardou Fox
December 5th, 2009 at 10:09 am
12/5 Fantastic Mark Trail today! The non-speech-ballooned “OWWWW” looks like it could serve as a coyote-style howl from both Sassy and Rusty. And what is going on with that car, it actually looks like it’s crumpling or melting onto the boy, I can’t quite figure it out. And Mark just looks really p.o.’d about he whole thing!
queek
December 5th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Blondie: awwwwwwww. That’s sweet.
6Cx: slacker dude probably has some suggestions.
PBS: ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
NS: heh. double penultimate panel. well played.
GT: Gil says, with wine bottle in hand. . . .
Cleats: see yesterday’s Lio for the proper way to break that wall.
Frazz: win. well played, Mr. Mallett.
Jump Start: this arc might have been dramatic, if it wasn’t so heavily foreshadowed.
R=R: o my!
C&B: C&H did that joke better.
Mibbitmaker
December 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Cleats:
Reagan’s Ghost: “Mr. Hinds, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL!”
Luann: All Nancy has to do is add sex to the mix, and she’s the perfect Burber Woman.
Meanwhile, Ernie Brushmiller’s Nancy is so disgusted, she’s officially petitioning the Gilchrists to have her name changed.
In a related item, both “Lil” McGill and Betty Jo Bialosky no longer wish for everyone to know then as Nancy.
And it was officially announced that the somewhat homophobic insult of calling a guy a “Nancy boy” will now be an even bigger insult.
That’s the news. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
mr 12 oz can
December 5th, 2009 at 10:58 am
are those logs in the back of marks car ??? rusty is saying owwwwwww before the car has even touched him cant wait to see the bullshit ending for sure monday.
zerowolf
December 5th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Barney Google: Good thing you are eating peas instead of beans. Or do the color moneys not know that beans are brown and peas are green?
Kanomi
December 5th, 2009 at 11:11 am
“Normally I do not root for the terrible death of adorable puppies, but..”
That’s like a slogan.
commodorejohn
December 5th, 2009 at 11:12 am
A3G – Holy bleep. There’s only one way to deal with a woman like this: send in Margo.
AS – Well, today’s Argyle Sweater isn’t as grossly flawed as usual, except for the premise, which is that cows need stimulus to poop.
Curtis – I notice that the idea that she might just, you know, enjoy acting never came up. I’m sure that’s completely impossible.
FC – “Careful, grandpa, there’s a warp in spacetime down near the bottom of the panel here. Watch your step.”
FW – Yay! I can’t wait for the part where they fall off the roof and wind up in the ICU!
Garfield – Really, you could paste Garfield from these three panels into the three panels of any other Garfield strip, and it would work just as well.
GT – Good Lord, drinking straight from a quart bottle? That’s some Funky-caliber antics.
Luann – I read that as “So you’ll give her cancer?” and it seemed to fit well enough that it took me several seconds to catch the mistake. Gah.
MT – This is my new favorite Mark Trail, ever. There are so many worthy competitors, but…have any of the other strips ever offered us Rusty being crushed underneath a baffling construction that I think is supposed to be a car? No, they have not.
MW – Why is she staring at the base of his neck?
Phantom – Um…is “Rhodia” anyplace we’re supposed to know?
RMMD – “Maybe if I jut my breasts in your general direction, you’ll stop turning into Rex!”
SM – May I suggest that instead of trying to break into a moving vehicle, you just take out the guy who’s kicking around on the sidewalk with the controls?
zerowolf
December 5th, 2009 at 11:13 am
FW: I like it even better as there is a good chance one of them will fall off the roof head first.
zerowolf
December 5th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Luann: Nope, I’ll always be a bitch.
dreadedcandiru2
December 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Sunday Funnies:
ReFoob: In today’s new-run, Mike goes to a sci-fi, recoils in disgust when the leads kiss and reports same to Elly who stands there gobsmacked.
Funky Winkerbean: Les and Khan’s assembling the Christmas display disturbs Mopey Pete who’s busy trying to write the latest issue of Superman; since he’s probably responsible for that moronic not-zombie invasion that currently blights the DC Universe, I’m not inclined to empathize.
Crankshaft: Shopping online makes Pam yearn for the days when she and her mother went Christmas shopping. When you remember that last year this time, she and Jeff practically crapped their pants because they went to the mall and had to see such horrors as a Starbucks, a Gap outlet, goths, people texting and visible minorities, I’m even less impressed with HER suffering.
zerowolf
December 5th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Lockhorns: If Loretta thinks Leroy is a chew toy, oral sex must be out of the question.
Mibbitmaker
December 5th, 2009 at 11:29 am
In case anybody missed it, I’ll repeat this while I’m still in classic SNL mode, updated with some revisions…
MR. MIKE’S LEAST-LOVED BEDTIME TALES
Once upon a time, there was a little boy, let’s call him Rusty, who had a little puppy, Sassy. Well, the lovable towheaded tyke chased the playful pup under a jacked-up car filled with a huge mass of heavy, heavy logs — and the cute pet accidentally hit the jack, and the heavy car came down, leaving both of them mashed, the end.
…Oh, and one more note: the lovable tyke was actually a hideous troll, so nobody cared.
wossname
December 5th, 2009 at 11:34 am
188 stumps: Wait a minute – by sliding the bike under the horse you make the horse flip over you? I am SO not trying that trick if I ever have the misfortune to see a horse in front of me.
I take a lot of bike trips all over the country, and worry a lot about some critter jumping out in front of me. Especially a moose, although I’ve never even seen one in the wild. Or a bear – try googling grizzly harley if you want to see how scary THAT could be! (I feel about grizzlies in the wild approximately the way Baka Gaijin feels about scary clowns.)
None of which has anything to do with MT, because he wasn’t riding a motorcycle (fortunately). Sorry to get so far OT.
wossname
December 5th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I think those things in the back of Mark’s car are supposed to be sleeping bags. But maybe (given Trailian perspective) they’re unwrapped Tootsie Rolls.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2009 at 11:53 am
FW: The fall itself wouldn’t have been fatal; ultimately, the job was done by the razor-sharp runners of the sleigh plummeting after. Les was not quite sure what the afterlife would hold, but he certainly never expected to be led there by the glowing red nose of a reindeer dressed as a maître d’.
Mardou Fox
December 5th, 2009 at 11:56 am
#227 bwahahaha! you made me spit my coffee. Now I want the giant tootsie rolls to say something. “HELP ME, MARK!”
I’m thinkin’ maybe Sassy will dart out from under the car. Mark will lean on the car with a satisfied smile because she is safe.. not registering that he is helping to further crush Rusty.
“Crush Rusty”…. T-shirt!
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Argyle Sweater: “Wonder what’ll happen if I turn this little handle. Um… darn. Hooves. No thumbs. Never mind. I guess we’ll never know. Let’s forget about it and get back to eating grass and shitting, like usual.”
Sequitur
December 5th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Argyle Sweater Baka Gaijin! DON’T TURN THAT CRANK!!!
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
FC: “…and the sandbox needs fixin’ and my bike seat fell off but never mind that ’cause I think I like riding the seat post and…”
Sequitur
December 5th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Why does it not surprise me to find bones in the Family Circus sandbox.
Lucky
December 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Cleats – Okay, I admit I smiled.
Family Circus – Papa Keane is a lazy bastard. Although, considering the collective IQ of his offspring, can we really blame him for not showing any effort?
Heart of the City – I once played a shepherd in a Christmas play. I had three lines, but apparently that was still the least important human role. Thanks for telling me this.
Heathcliff – I read somewhere a theory that Disney’s mice characters (including Goofy and the rest of Mickey’s pals) are supposed to be black, while the duck characters are white. This explains why you rarely see ducks and mice in the same comics, because Duckburg is segregated. That’s why today’s Heathcliff just got a “Well, duh.” out of me.
Marmaduke – Nope, not as unnerving as yesterday’s Keane kiss orgy, thought it does get very close.
Red & Rover – Is Red wearing a hoodie there? I always thought this strip was taking place in some kind of idyllic 50s time loop but apparently I was mistaken.
Rhymes with Orange – Now I can’t stop wondering if that would actually work.
Sherman’s Lagoon – He’s also in Ice Climbers, I take it.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Crankshaft: He said ’seeds’ while talking about a seed catalog! Hoo! *wipes tears from eyes* I believe that’s not the first time this week, either. This is like the comic equivalent of Einstein’s annus mirabilis.
TheDiva
December 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
C’shaft: I would have never thought they could get a week’s worth of material out of this subject, but…you know, I was right.
FW: So, why wouldn’t Funky have put the decorations on the roof to begin with? Is he that stupid, or does he actively court adversity knowing that it will probably come to him anyway?
Luann: As she placates her husband by paying lip service to the idea of even thinking Toni might not be an evil slutbitchwhore, Nancy begins to plot the demise of the tramp who has dared come between her and her darling boy.
MW: “You ARE lucky, Wilbur! Being a loser means nobody has it in for you!”
Saluki
December 5th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Saturday Lockhorns: That joke was funnier on Cheers when Norm said “It’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing milkbone underwear”.
TheDiva
December 5th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
235 One-eyed Wolfdog: The best part is Cranky’s smug awareness that he is delivering a bon mot worthy of the combined wits of Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, and Mark Twain. Truly, this is humor for the ages.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 5th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Luann, panel 2½ (omitted for publication):
–Yeah, maybe.
–Say, how ’bout we use some of that hand lotion to lube up…
–Nope.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
9CL – Does he get drunk and do these diagonal panels when he can’t sit up straight at the drawing board?
(ps: Here’s Lale Andersen, who made the song. The video’s from 1968, but her voice sounds about the same as it did in WW2, when she recorded the song with Charlie and His Orchestra, the Nazi propaganda swing band, in both German and English. Translated lyrics in the ‘about’ box. pps: Dietrich!)
Beetle – Good advice. Also, don’t cut toward yourself, wear reflective clothing at night, and if you’re doing a comic strip try to make it funny and don’t just repeat well-known facts from advice columns.
Dick – Yeah, but how can you gruesomely kill somebody with a 1713 Stradivarius? I just know they’re going to cheat and have his hair get caught in machinery.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Smirky – Like I say, anything that gets Les up onto the roof is jake with me.
Hägar – Burn that bed, Helga!
Mark – The dog has finally paid for itself.
Tomorrow’s Headline: HERO PUP STOPS CAR JACKING
Marfield – “Bitsy, what do you think of that thing in the news which I will now word in such an unusual and contrived way that it gives you the opportunity for a lame word-association in lieu of a real punch line?”
Mary – “We comic strip characters are practically forced to overeat, now that we can’t wave cigarettes around while we talk. Have another platonic solid?”
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
My Cage – So I joined the Facebook group for the comic. They have a gallery of neat shirt designs of the characters.
Non Seq – “It stahted when a wind blew me from the North Atlantic all the way ‘crost the Panamah Canal and intuh th’ South P’cific. Natch’ly, the sheer impossibility of it made me famous.”
Pluggers bought Ford Rangers 25 years ago when they were a truck, and 50 years ago, when they were an Edsel.
Rex – “Let’s go home, Tim… Pete. I’m feeling exceptionally perky, and I don’t want to waste it!”
Slylock – The panel in the first drawing appears to be pine. So does the one in the second panel, but there are more stink lines, which have driven the dog away and made the lumber delivery person fart one extra time. But that’s only one difference. Advantage: Weber!
Spidey – They’re going to hijack a truck that runs by remote control! This case is fucking tailor made for Spider-Man’s unique skill set!
Ziggy – Ask the wise man what the hell just happened in The Wizard of Id for me.
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
# 209 dale — Hmm, interesting. If Rufus tried such reasoning, his single brain cell might blow out within a few seconds.
# 213 Écureuil — Since Wilbur is apparently going to star in this story, I assume we’re in for more of the same. I may get a lot of kicking practice.
MT — Wouldn’t it have been smarter for Mark to say something like “grab Sassy when you have a chance, but don’t go under the car yourself”? Why do I bother — the kid and dog are basically immune from serious harm. I should be so lucky.
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
MY CAGE — I emailed the Chron and thanked them for carrying MC. There. I did it. Chocolate time for me.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Lucky @234 – Years ago, I was in a conversation in which someone asked if Mickey Mouse was Caucasian or African. I had no conclusive information in Mickey, but I know that Mighty Mouse is white. In WOLF! WOLF!, a bunch of sheep go to a mountain top to pray (yes, they pray! in a bleeding sunbeam!!) to Mighty Mouse, and one of them says, “Please, Mister Mighty Mouse! He may be a little black sheep, but inside, he’s just as white as you are!”
One-eyed Wolfdog @239 – Oh, god, for a second I thought you were writing about Snuffy! Someone bring me a bucket. No, the big one; the breakfast-and-lunch-sized one.
Pharmacistrix
December 5th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Did anyone catch the Papa Keane appearance on last week’s Family Guy?
And the awesome utube video reminded me – whatever happened to the Kitty stuck in the garage/attic over Thanksgiving?
tb4000
December 5th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Luann: All those Oedipus jokes I made beforehand about this strip were supposed to be in jest. Now it’s just unsettling.
odinthor
December 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
GT. — “Oh, Gil—I love it when you rub my ass while talking about out-of-control teenage boys!” “Mmm, Mimi—my bottle’s neck gets so hard when you say ‘teenage boys’ like that!” “Do you . . . do you want to?” “You mean—the special thing?” “Yes, Gil, yes—I want you to run your videotape of the ’69 football playdowns now! And put it on automatic re-start!” “Oh, baby!”
Baka Gaijin
December 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
#226 wossname: I don’t think you should google a grizzly. They don’t like it.
Bears are in the wild* are easy to avoid. Clowns can pop up where you least expect them. Turn the corner from the crispy tasty snacks aisle, mmmmmm, to the beer aisle and BAM! Red noses and baggy pants galore. AAAAAA!!!! Oh, wait, those are just the local alkies. Nevermind. [/emily latella]
#231 Sequitur: I turned the crank. I didn’t “make fertilizer.” It was a Big Mac, not a clown.
* Dingo excepted. We love ya, man!
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
202. Mr. O’Malley: I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed, well, aside from Peter…
John C Fremont
December 5th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
#245 Muffaroo – After spending way too much time looking, I think the Mighty Mouse cartoon in question was “Cry Wolf,” which, unlike “Wolf! Wolf!” I was unable to actually see online. Y’know, unless Bakshi’s involved, watching Mighty Mouse for more than 30 seconds is a truly painful experience.
A3G – I’ve just got to say it. I hate Bobbie Merrill. Sure, she’s trying to lure me in with promises of spilt blood – and that would be cool – but I still don’t like her. Unless she also makes Ari pay in blood. Then I will love her forever, and ever, and ever.
MT – I actually heard myself saying out loud, “Oh, no!” and “Poor Rusty!” Thankfully, I heard myself saying these things sarcastically. Out of body experiences are weird, is what I’m saying.
Phantom – So I guess she’s about to find out why he’s called “The Python.”
I am really very, very sorry for that one.
RMMD – Breasts don’t work that way! At least, not without an elaborate sytem of girders, buttresses, levers and cables. Not that I’m complaining.
GT – You sly dog, Gil. You know she loves it when you talk like that.
(#248 odinthor – I shouldn’t have previewed so many times… I coulda been #246, but nooooo! No, I just had to preview one more time! Of course, my take wasn’t all that funny, so there’s my consolation, I guess.)
Niall
December 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I’ve re-added Mark Trail to my comics page… just in time to see RUSTY be crushed. I mean, he has a truck fall on his legs. They can’t possibly say he gets out of that intact…
Anonymous
December 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
#188: if about to hit a horse on a motorcycle
I think if I saw a horse on a motorcycle, I’d be too stunned to do anything.
Baron Bizarre
December 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
253 is me. Dang library computer!
True Fable
December 5th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
#252 Niall – Ah, but the sand is soft and unstable, much like Rusty himself! Therefore if a + b = c, Rusty:
(a) will ‘miraculously’ come out of it with barely a scratch
(b) is the Sandman as a child
(c) will burrow and subsist on a diet of crab and beer tabs
(d) will become a castle with a moat and win a blue ribbon in the 31st annual Sand Sculpture contest
(e) will kick himself into Mark’s face
(f) will go through an hourglass on The Days of Our Lives
(g) will create the world’s biggest and most repulsive ant farm
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
236. TheDiva re FW: I thought the same thing (Santa…reindeer…up on the rooftop…), but forget about it, Funky; it’s Westview.
tblue
December 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
MT: These “Sassy in peril” plotlines are beginning to remind me of the “women in peril” TV movies that are so obviously intended to appeal to the prurient inerest of viewers.
Oh, and what sort of idiot dog-owner lets a puppy run off leash when there is such an obvious danger nearby–one that puppies would naturally be attracted to? (And one that the dog-owner himself has created!)
tblue
December 5th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Niall says, “I’ve re-added Mark Trail to my comics page… just in time to see RUSTY be crushed. I mean, he has a truck fall on his legs. They can’t possibly say he gets out of that intact…”
But the sand is “unstable,” so Rusty’s legs sink down far enough to not be injured at all.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
John C Fremont @251 – You may be right about the title of that cartoon. CRY WOLF seems appropriate because it was a variant on “the boy who cried ‘wolf’” only with sheep. Sorry to make you watch the cartoons. I actually enjoy many of them, especially the operatic ones. The Bakshi revival brought many good things, largely due to John K. Bakshi’s own cartoons at this time were as bad as most of his output.
I was going to link to “Don’t Touch That Dial,” which I thought was available a couple of weeks ago, but all the ‘new’ cartoons seem to be gonesville, man.
ElkMeadow
December 5th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
MT — I dread the thought of Wilbur finding me. I joined so I could keep track of my kids, and now I find that Wilbur’s on Facebook, and it’s going to be a matter of time before that random Friend thing is going to pop-up and he’s going to see me. He was a stalker then, and now that his keeper Iris has left, it’s only a matter of time….I can take down my Wall, but once you’re there, you’re there forever. Can I get a restraining order against someone for being a massive creep?
RMMD–Oh, great. Last panel. Someone got a hold of my high school yearbook photo and photoshopped her head on my body.
Luann–When Dirk comes back, is Nancy going to leave with him to make sure Toni doesn’t?
FC–Give me the number for Children’s Protective Services.
dyslexic dog
December 5th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Not to worry, Rusty. Innocent Bob is on his way with his two Shoes Of Justice to take out mean Mr. Car and save your pet dog.
You by the way are in the safe hands of this guy.
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
229. Mardou Fox: oh, that’s just a sick, sick thought…
(Maybe we can get a deal on t-shirts: “Free Cue Now!” on the front, and “Free Rusty Now!” on the back…)
John C Fremont
December 5th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
#260 ElkMeadow – Why call CPS? Is it because Grampa is about to “fix his sandbox?”
MT – A bumper jack? It really is a ‘64 Rambler wagon!
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
263. John C Fremont: that was the first car I remember my family having! It had A/C that was never used (because we had to keep it for a special occasion, I guess — never mind we ALWAYS spent part of our summer vacation in August in the LA area, driving there from Phoenix). My mother made curtains for it, too, just in case we didn’t find a nice motel for the night and had to sleep in it — I think that happened when we were caught out in the wilds of Yosemite once.
Mardou Fox
December 5th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
#255: Too funny!
#262: Marketing genius! Who could turn down a Rusty-Cue 2fer?
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Hmmm. Rusty Trail is an orphan (or a runaway, or a weanling raised by a pack of wild corn-dogs), adopted by Mark and Cherry Trail. Is it just me, or is anyone seeing a familial resemblance between him and Brewster Rockit’s Winky (I mean the kid in Brewster Rockit, not Brewster Rockit’s…well…you know…)
Calico
December 5th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
#264 – Our family’s first car too!
When I saw Bruuuuuuce at the Montreal Forum in 1984, he mentioned the Rambler and I just about freaked out.
Ah, memories…
Calico
December 5th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
We had a sedan, actually, but it was the same color as in that photo John posted. : )
Calico
December 5th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
#244 – Mmmmmm, chocolate.
Not to make you and Niall jealous, but for my B-Day last week I received a box of awesome “Brandy Beans” from Germany, booze-filled milk chocolate treats that look like legumes.
(It’s really pretty funny to see my near-teetotaling
girlfriend eat only two brandy beans and pass out while watching tv. Then again, she has First Nations blood in addition to French and Irish, and gets all silly over one glass of wine.)
KarMann
December 5th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
@Écureuil Écumant #213: Damn you for making me defend Mary & Wilbur, but even worse than abusing “who” and “whom”, is calling someone on their use of the relative pronoun when they got it exactly right. The case of “who/whom” doesn’t depend on its role in the sentence leading up to it, e.g. “it depends on her,” but its role in the following relative clause, e.g. “it is (she/Rusty).” So Wilbur has it exactly right there.
Hopefully I don’t have to follow this up with an explanation of why “it is she” instead of “it is her.”
Écureuil Écumant
December 5th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
GT: Coach & Miz Thorpe, getting ready for their dinner of Olde English ‘800′, Cheez Puffs and the SEC playdown. Now show some class and invite Marty Moon over for the game.
MT: Mark’s gonna be up the crick Fo Real when Ranger Cliff sees the skid marks, the hole in the bushes, the Roswell crash scene and then those duffel bags full of swamp chronic.
@ 220 commodorejohn says: “AS – Well, today’s Argyle Sweater isn’t as grossly flawed as usual, except for the premise, which is that cows need stimulus to poop.”
Granted that they don’t need it — but neither have I ever known them to refuse it.
Dr. Weird
December 5th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
252 Niall -
Logically, you’re right… even with the sand, Rusty should still be seriously injured when a car falls on him. But you forget that Mark Trail has a Reality Distortion Field… snipers are hired to take warning shots, women throw themselves at Mark despite his aggressive asexuality, law enforcement defers to him in all things… So Rusty will have a few bumps and bruises at most.
And did they really say “Jacked up” in the strip? Mark Trail is the last place I’d expect such filth to surface!
Aviatrix
December 5th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Mary Worth, of course, plans her life around avoiding — or offing — people from her past whom she’d rather not see. And some of them have restraining orders against her.
John C. Freemont @251 : Indeed! When Becka says “Let’s go home,” it’s not only Peter who is mentally adding, “And take off this bra.” She clearly has a lot of weight on her shoulders.
Paul1963
December 5th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Jamus the Bartender @186: Thanks for linking to that video. Sheer brilliance!
No one seems to have noticed it yet, so I’ll just point out that this entire last week’s worth of Family Circuses–ever since the grandparents arrived–have been damn-near-tracings of much older panels. I remember them from a paperback collection we had back in the ’70s, possibly I Can’t Untie My Shoes! I can’t be bothered to hunt around Mom’s basement looking for the book, but I’d bet the only changes that have been made have been to redraw Thel’s hair.
If they continue with the rest of the arc, I’m thinking sometime next week we’ll see a couple of the melonheads fleeing the scene of some infraction or other (broken lamp, I think) as one of them says, “Uh-oh! Grandma called Mommy ‘Thel’ instead of ‘Mommy!’”
Re-FOOB: So, did Lynn have a falling-out with Real-Life Michael? There’ve been an awful lot of “Ha ha, Li’l Mike’s an asshole” strips lately. It does nicely break up the “Ha ha,
Rod’sJohn’s a douchebag” strips, though.Artist formerly known as Ben
December 5th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
12/5
MW:”Out of curiosity, can you think of anyone from your past who would want to avoid you?”
“Oh yes, there’s… How much time do you have? And would you prefer alphabetical or chronological order?”
A3G: Is this going to turn into Blood Simple only with tipsy middle-aged New Yorkers? Dare we hope?
FW: This being Funky Winkerbean I’m pretty sure we’re seeing “The Christmas When Montoni’s Roof Caved In.”
RMMD: She’s got her hand on his elbow, but his expression seems to indicate she’s grabbing him somewhere else. How far can the other arm reach?
OBH: I’m pretty sure you’re right, Ruthie.
M-Dawg: “Oh, don’t try to speak, sir. The acids on Marmaduke’s tongue are already melting through your larynx. You know, in a few short years this sight has gone from horrifying to amusing. We children are adaptable creatures.”
S-M: “Because you haven’t lied to me yet and I realize how totally trustworthy you are.”
H&J: Oh Jamaal, don’t make it so easy for us.
FC: Thel lured him out of his nap by saying, “Hey dad, how would you like a screwdriver?” She’s still laughing her ass off.
GT: Gil is so worried about Drunken that he can’t enjoy that bottle of wine and that heaping bowl of walnuts and… No, best not to think about what kind of evening he and Mimi have lined up.
Blondie: Dagwood is making meatballs levitate in circle formation over a skillet. No, Blondie, you took a sorceror home.
Phantom: She’s right to gasp. Rhodia is the country that derives its justice system from Roger Corman. Diane’s prison term will be a tough, brutal, lesbo-erotic one, and she’ll have to learn to kickbox in the shower to survive.
Ukulele Ike
December 5th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Phantom: Well, I happen to think Diane looks awfully nice in handcuffs.
Jamus the Bartender
December 5th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Luann: Okay, Mrs DeG is at least gonna make an effort to reach out to Toni, despite her reservations. That’s not my question, my question is, what is she doing with Mr. DeG’s motion lotion?
Goldar
December 5th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Phantom: I’m not sure how much credit the writers should get for this new “edgy” plotline which looks like it’s about to dovetail into some updated version of “Nightmare in Badham County”.
DirtyDragon
December 5th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Jump Start: Very Dick Tracy-ish of them, only they didn’t actually show Crunchy grease that slimeball.
(Bonus points to the wanted felon/corpse who draws his piece and walks up to two cops at his doorway instead of making a break for it.)
Calico
December 5th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
#186 – I think Bobbie Merrill is getting to that point too.
“Pay in blood” – Jesus, is this Dick Tracy or something?
sugarpie
December 5th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
bats :[ 262 I would absolutley buy one of those shirts if the front said “Free Cue Now!” and “Free Rusty when you get around to it” on the back.
Jumper
December 5th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
This is awfully depressing, with the little dog evolutionarily unfit, as revealed in realtime. And we had so rooted for her, too.
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
# 257 tblue — This storyline alone has established to my satisfaction that Mark is the worst dog owner in comicdom, or at least the part of comicdom with which I am familiar. As for worst cat owner, I give the prize to Rufus in GASOLINE ALLEY. If there are worse pet owners in other comics, I’m not sure I even want to know.
# 270 KarMann — I now come forward to confess that I was the first to chide Wilbur for his grammar, and Écureuil was only responding to me. I further confess that I am not entirely sure I understand your explanation, which reflects on me, not you. Henceforth I shall keep quiet on the subject of who versus whom. But I still think Wilbur is a twit.
# 274 Paul1963 — I wonder what the Keanes do with the rest of their time after they trace the old strips and send them off.
dreadedcandiru2
December 5th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
#274: Paul1963 — I think it’s sort of safe to call Lynn’s relationship with her son Aaron ‘chilly’; as far as I know, they barely communicate and she’s sort of sore that he was neutral during her recent divorce.
John C Fremont
December 5th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
9CL – So Mozart wrote “Lili Marleen?” I’m confused.
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I know, I know…I should be cleaning the house and dragging out all the boughs of holly to subsequently deck the halls.
Does this count a little for getting into the holiday spirit?
Maybe if I had some eggnog…
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
# 285 John — Yep, Wolfgang wrote “Lili Marleen” right after he wrote “Berlin bleibt doch Berlin.”
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
# 286 bats:[ — I had some eggnog, but I still can’t work with Photoshop. Damn. Maybe if I drank another quart or so…
mr 12 oz can
December 5th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
hello cherry this is mark rustys dead – cherry oh my god nooooooo- mark – im bringing you home some nail polish -cherry – how sweet mark what color
Ribinin
December 5th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Facebook: Charley, Wilbur and Aldo are my friends. Ian and Mary are ignoring me. I guess that pretty well defines MY social standing at Charterstone.
ElkMeadow
December 5th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Aldo has a Facebook page?
Wilbur we were told about, and Charley, well, um.
I’m not surprised Ian doesn’t. After all, Burns, Keats and Yeats didn’t either.
I look forward to the “Free Cue Now/Free Rusty” later t-shirts mentioned above. Count this as free advertising for the product.
And free Cue anyhow.
Amateur
December 5th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
MW: “You ARE lucky, Wilbur! People from my past invariably flee at the mere sight of me!”
Dingo
December 5th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Rex Morgan Moments™: So, I’m at the doctor today for a checkup. Blood pressure? Check. Lungs? Check. I mention to him that I’m 45-years-old but have never had a prostate exam. So, he dons the glove.
The doctor finishes my prostate exam and says to me “You have the prostate of a 14-year-old boy!” Um… okay. Not sure how to react to that. Exactly how do you know to make that comparison?
And suddenly I thought of Rex Morgan.
Cherry of the Lost Forest Patrol
December 5th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Never mind about the car, Rusty is about to get crushed by Mark’s bales of LoFo Gold. Guess he was taking that detour off the main rode cuz he was ridin’ dirty
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
# 293 Dingo — Congratulations on your youthful prostate, pulsating with the intense vigor and young energy of a…never mind.
Gabacho
December 5th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
#293 Dingo – The doctor was obviously referring to the spare one you keep in the garage.
Wilbur Weston – should I be concerned that Wilbur has 691 friends and I only have 130? Oh, and by the way, I have seen the Sunday funnies and let’s just say this – Wilbur is not going to feel so lucky tomorrow.
Muffaroo
December 5th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I heard there was a dead prostate in the trunk of Dingo’s car. At least that’s what I think I heard.
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
293. Dingo: “you have the prostate of a 14-year-old boy…now give it back. Drop it! Drop it! Drop it!”
Niall
December 5th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Seen in the liquor store today:
- a Merlot called “Girls Night Out”. It should have had a racoon on the label.
- Australian wine company called “The Goats Do Roam” – immediately thought of True Fable.
CC on the brain…
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
299. Niall: what? No bats?
I must confess that I have had several bottles of Vampire wine, made in Transylvania (for real and true!). It seems kind of odd that the winery produces anything but the reddest, most marooniest types of wines, but hey, no one’s perfect.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 5th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
299 Niall: I’d have been more impressed if you’d found the merlot called “Racoon’s Night Out”—then you’d know you had good wine.
bats :[
December 5th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Oh! I’ve been missing the philosophical musings of B. Racoon recently, but I think I know the reason for his absence (this is the 5 December strip), if you can trust a comic strip…
ChattyGenes
December 5th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
#299 Niall. That’s what is called “a CC moment.” I have them all the time.
Mardou Fox
December 5th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
There’s a winery in upstate NY called Bully Hill that’s got a line of wines called “Love My Goat”!
I had to buy some just for the label (I do love goats), but as it turned out, it was a pretty nice merlot…..
Um, not that I’m a great wine connoisseur or anything. I am a bit of label snob, though, and it had a very fine label with a silly picture of a goat.
Gift idea for True Fable?? Or any other goat fans!
Poteet
December 5th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
12/6 PV — Hey Val, you’re still officially “young.” That should compensate for the squishy eggs.
Thomas B.
December 5th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
MT:
Mark: “Oh no. How could this happen?”
Rusty: “OWWW. My legs.”
Mark: “This awful. My vintage car jack is ruined. Ruined I say.”
Uncle Lumpy
December 5th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Collection of unusual wine names here.
I had a Japanese boss who liked full-bodied red wines that were a) hard to find in Japan and b) had arty or unusual labels (for purposes of impressing his guests, I suspect). When I visited, I would bring a bottle or two of Le Cigare Volante — the one with a flying saucer attacking a vineyard with a ray gun.
My favorite labels are from Sula in India.
KarMann
December 5th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
@bats :[ #:300 You’re better off checking the rum for the bat-related alcoholic beverages. IfyouknowwhatImean, andIthinkyoudo.
Thomas B.
December 5th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
MT- Friday Rusty was crawling head first under the car as Sassy backed in to the jack. Saturday Sassy is in the same spot making the same motion but now it’s just Rusty’s legs under the car.
Jack Elrod had better hope he is never under the care of one Annie Wilkes. Annie does not tolerate cheating Jack.
Uncle Lumpy
December 5th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
And here’s Marge ‘n’ Tina a nice Malbec/Tempranilla blend from, er. . . .
Don’t cry for me!
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 5th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
#307 Uncle Lumpy,
Thank you thank you THANK YOU! for providing a link to that page. I’ve actually enjoyed glasses of both Cardinal Zin and Love My Goat. The latter had a label I just couldn’t resist. If I see the one with the two pigs at the opera, I’m definitely picking that one up too.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 5th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
307 Uncle Lumpy: What a great site! But should I be disturbed by or proud of the number of these wines I’ve actually tried?
(I also noted the number of Bonny Doon wines listed–very cool winery that used to be owned by a former philosophy major, who’d put his musings on the back label.)
Oh, and please note on page 15: Hair of the Dingo.
KarMann
December 5th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
@ElkMeadow #291: Ian’s got a page, friended me last night. Perhaps he’s just avoiding you at the moment?
kkarenb
December 5th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
I visited the Bully Hill winery a few years ago on a trip to Niagara Falls. The winery has a very pleasant restaurant and a wine tasting area. We liked Love My Goat, and their Niagara wine is really good. Upstate New York is really wonderful.
sugarpie
December 5th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Uncle Lumpy I’ve recently found out I really like the spicier reds such as Tempranilla. I’ll give the Marge ‘n’ Tina a try and report back. But I don’t know enough to talk even stupidly about wine, so I’ll shut up, lest I prove Fran Leibowitz’ “Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, small minds talk about wine.”
dyslexic dog
December 6th, 2009 at 12:17 am
#298 bats :[
Aw shucks, no mashup.
mr 12 oz can
December 6th, 2009 at 12:19 am
bully hill always sponsors a driver at the watkins glen nascar race so there making some money . fusco brothers are gonna sponsor sam hornish at the daytona 500
bats :[
December 6th, 2009 at 1:13 am
REX IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(And I think Cue moved in. Then again, this is what happens when you go on a “three-day” cruise.)
Bryan Bryan
December 6th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Yes, Jeffy, you have tons of people to kiss tonight. That’s because NAMBLA is having their meeting there tonight. Obviously this isn’t the first time this has happened at the Keane’s either, judging by how into it Billy and Dolly are.
Side tangent! Isn’t the only grandparent the Keanes have that irritating lady who folds laundry all the time while waiting for death’s sweet embrace to reunite her with her husband? How come she wasn’t invited to passionate family kiss night? God knows she could probably use… actually, nevermind. I don’t really feel like vomiting before bed tonight.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 2:24 am
12/6
JP — At last, in the final panel, we come as close as we’ll ever come *ahem* to seeing a male orgasm.
MW — See, this is why I haven’t joined Facebook. No way do I want some stranger contacting me and reminding me that years ago, I absent-mindedly gave birth and then forgot about it.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 2:30 am
# 320 — Sorry, intended to end with “a male orgasm in JP.” Outside JP is another matter.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 2:36 am
# 319 Bryan — I think Grandma Who Lost Grandpa Except He Shows Up Wearing Wings And A Rope Belt All The Damn Time is Daddy Keane’s mom. The two grandparents who are currently visiting are Mommy Keane’s parents.
bats :[
December 6th, 2009 at 2:40 am
320. Poteet re JP: yes, “male orgasm” was the first thing I thought of, too. *sigh*
Gotta admit that I thought Sunday’s FC was kind of sweet. Probably because (and note this closely), none of the kids are saying anything.
Oh, and did I mention Rex is back? I’m sure the new story will be all serious, but hey, you never know!
mumbles
December 6th, 2009 at 2:46 am
RMMD: The depiction of the taxi driver is right out of a Jack Chick comic book – perhaps, “Allah Had No Son.”
MW: Well, I gotta hand it to the Mary Worth folks. Here I was expecting a retread of Toby’s experience with shopping online, or perhaps some sort of foray into identity fraud. Nope – BAM! I can’t wait to see how Mary is gonna meddle into this one.
A3G: With every exchange with her “mean girl”-esque private detective, Bobbi starts resembling a young (well, younger) Phyllis Diller. When she starts referring to her husband as “Fang”, we’ll know that the transformation is complete.
JP: I wonder if the artists will rehash the self-satisfied smirk of Sam in that last panel at his bar disciplinary hearing.
Karmyn
December 6th, 2009 at 4:10 am
I’ve been here too long. Over on Twitter, Jim Beaver is recapping a really bad Tarzan serial from 1927. His latest is about how you can tell who the bad guys are from the sidelong glances and the mustaches. My immediate thought: “Has this suddenly become a Mark Trail strip?”
And I’m not ashamed of that.
Mr. O'Malley
December 6th, 2009 at 4:32 am
FW: So comics books are written an entire year in advance? That’s a long lead time!
MT: I’ve seen that owl and ground squirrel picture before, and not that long ago either.
MW: This looks like it’s going to be funny, but how rarely is the promise fulfilled?
RMMD: That’s what they get for having starfish-boy house-sit.
SF: Inspired.
>SlF: In either case it would be warm, so maybe Slylock is going to drop Mentos in the bottle.
325. Karmyn. Elmo Lincoln?
KarMann
December 6th, 2009 at 5:28 am
12/6:
Foxtrot: Well played, Mr. Amend. Well played.
MW: I’m just wondering whether the mailer is an actual potential byblow, or some young Nigerian? (Cf. my recent Bengallan pantsuit scam. I can’t believe nobody fell for that!)
@Mr. O’Malley #326: Can you read the SlF solution? I can’t, and I admit that temperatures were the first thing that came to mind, but I think it might be… oh, yeah. Mouseover for solution.
KarMann
December 6th, 2009 at 5:30 am
That should be, “mouseover for potential solution,” of course. And if no one else comes along with a more definitive answer first, I can always read it once the dead-tree Star shows up.
Baka Gaijin
December 6th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Rex Morgan: Rex, just leave the cabbie’s tip in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls’ porch.
Sly Fox, 6 Differences, missing third panel: Bear finding ranger’s star in his Charmin.
Sly Fox, Mystery: Reeky, that 3 foot tall bottle is just a display, dummy!
Mary Worth: Apparently Dawn didn’t explain the concept of “Spam” or “Pfishing” to Baldy McCombover.
Zits: Ha ha! Daddy Zits’ Alzheimers made him forget that his layabout son hasn’t willingly arises from his pigsty before noon for the past 18 years.
Family Circus: Billy’s smile says, “I just wee wee wee-ed my pants and I feel fine!”
Beetle Bailey: Sarge, just get out the dog collar and ball gag already.
#328 KarMann: Not temperature but fizz. The rat was running, thus the bottle’ll spurt like a porn star on poppers.
Baka Gaijin
December 6th, 2009 at 6:17 am
#329 me: My Alzheimers made me forget to proofread that my Zits entry.
Mr. O\'Malley
December 6th, 2009 at 6:46 am
328. KarMann. I can’t read the online solution so I have to wait for the Sunday morning paper. You may be right but the concept seems a bit dodgy. How would a rat run if a rat were carrying a liter of soft drink?How about Roderick Rat, the
Rats seem to get the short end of the stick in SlyFo. Why isn’t the strip providing more positive role models for young rats? A life of petty theft can’t be the only option. What about Roderick Rat the CPA?
I’m of two minds about this because right now we have a rat in the garage that’s chewing through stuff and we would like to see it caught in one of our traps.
On the other hand, a former girlfriend of mine had a pet rat that was quite affectionate and always seemed glad to see me. Actually the rat was a lot easier to deal with than the girlfriend.
Mr. O'Malley
December 6th, 2009 at 6:52 am
I meant to Preview instead of Post, Oh well, you know what I mean.
In my defense, there is a cat drama taking place on either side of my chair. They seem to be dedicated to working it out in slow motion…
willethompson
December 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
MW: My Dear Good Friend:
I am writing you on a matter of greet improtance to us both. I am Robert Mudobu, chief officer of the Central Bank here in Santa Royale. In 2006, a client of mine, Aldo Kelrast, died in a tragic aciddent, leaving behind an estate of $18 million dollars…
gleeb
December 6th, 2009 at 9:37 am
’shaft: I sure know I hate the convenience of having things delivered to my door, especially in winter, compared with crowding nose-to-nose with the rest of the proles in search of clothing and Lou Rawls albums.
Mary: Gotta be a scam. Who would admit having fathered Wilbur?
Rex: It’s like seeing Barney Google return.
Slylock: Why is Slylock reading the paper in the middle of the street to begin with? And why is Max performing a no-doubt unnatural act on his tail?
Écureuil Écumant
December 6th, 2009 at 9:38 am
RMMD: They forgot to stop their newspaper delivery when they debarked — a dead giveaway to burglars. In this instance, the papers have lain there so long that they fossilized.
Steve the Pocket
December 6th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Crankshaft: Batiuk is apparently unaware that real, brick-and-mortar stores still exist in the Internet Age. More evidence that he needs to get out more.
Beetle: Redrawn rerun. The only thing that’s different is the punchline, which was originally implied rather than said: Sarge said “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Beetle replies, “Woof.”
Hi and Lois: Oh look, yet another dweeb who thinks people actually say “OMG” out loud.
Baby Blues: Hey Mr. MacPherson! Did you know there are entire channels full of nothing but kids’ cartoons, 24/7? No foolin’! Even on weekends!
Buckles: You have to admit, training a dog who can talk to “speak” is pretty dumb.
Six Chix: … What … is the dog doing??
queek
December 6th, 2009 at 10:16 am
posting before reading, so apologies for any duplicate snark.
PV: wow. just gorgeous, and yet another reminder of what the Sunday funnies used to be.
MC: dream panel WIN! I recognize Goat and Pig, the Thundercat, and I’m assuming Haley Beary, although why she has a racoon tail confuses me. Who is the character in back?
RMMD: uh, guys, are you sure you were at Josh’s for the last party? Are you SURE that you hadn’t started on the Potato-ade during the trip there?
Zits: mmmmmmm, waffles! :-)~~~
PBS: win.
BB: words fail me.
Candorville: Lamont needs some sense slapped into him. Girl lookin’ like that, shows up in that outfit, asks if you want to go out, the answer is YES!
Lio: realistically rendered military hardware for the win!
*pom*pom*pom*pom*
Crankenstein: only Batuik would think that holiday shopping in the malls was something to look back on fondly.
Lockhorns: Loretta, this one time at band camp? DO NOT WANT!
9CL: words fail me ^2.
queek
December 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
336: that’s a border collie, giving the “herding eye.” It’s funny, because the owners are sheep. . . . .
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
#336 Steve, OMG, I hate to say this, but if you spend much time around the teenagers these days, you really will hear them say “OMG,” as well as “ROTFL,” “IDK,” and other texisms.
If only Al Scaduto were still around… it could be a TDIET. Those “teeners,” oh-h-h-h-h yeah!
John C Fremont
December 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am
RMMD – There! In the sixth panel! It’s the stolen soda from the supermarket! Rand Rat is innocent! FREE RANDY RAT!
JP – In the last panel, Sam thinks back fondly on his trip to Easter Island. Or maybe he’s just doing his Robert Z’Dar impersonation.
MC – Hullo, Zeeba Neighba!
zerowolf
December 6th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Lockhorns: It’s Irish coffee, I put Cy O’Nide in it.
Gabacho
December 6th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Mary Worth – There’s a good possibility that the email is from Dawn.
C. Havoc
December 6th, 2009 at 11:09 am
MW: Sunday throwawy panels: Wilbur is preparing to “explore new worlds in social networking.” Wait a minute…why are his hands poised like that? Fingers grotesquely curled in anticipation…AAAAARRRRGH! must wash brain…
Meanwhile, in the Jungle: With all that raiding and waylaying of passers-by, are we to believe those Amazons never lifted themselves a nice digital camera?
RMMD: I’m thinking Nikky’s back. Will June command that he clean her living room?
queek
December 6th, 2009 at 11:32 am
B. Racoon sighting
Mibbitmaker
December 6th, 2009 at 11:41 am
RMMD: FINALLY! The mess can’t be Cue, he’s currently in Cuestody. *ducks*
JP: Poluti? Really? Dumbest “green” schtick ever! …???
Cranky: Just go to the freakin’ store! (I do)
FW: Charles Dickens? More like Pete the Dick.
FC: They’re being piggies about that.
BBailey: Lovers’ tiff.
MT: There are no shifty-eyed birds. It’s good to know that.
Aviatrix
December 6th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Mibbitmaker #345 – But what about birds with mustaches?
Citric
December 6th, 2009 at 11:54 am
MW: “Well, I thought you were my father, but then I saw a picture and I’d like to think my mom had some standards.”
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
A3G – Speculate, folks: what is Bobbie’s secret weakness? My guess? Holy water.
BBlue – Oh, for…! Sharks have to eat too, you air-headed speciesist! This is why I usually root for the predator when everybody else is hoping that the cute little animal will escape (see also: Sassy.)
BrS – Oh, come on! Take her with! It’d make things way more entertaining, especially since she seemed to be the most competent person in the cast for this storyline.
Crankshaft – Apparently color hadn’t been invented in the late ’70s.
Crock – What…but…uh…HOW DOES THAT WORK.
DT – Well here’s an accomplishment. Not only does today’s Dick Tracy manage to convey no new information, I find myself knowing less about the story than before.
Dilbert – Hey, I remember this from my last job. “Nobody is buying our proprietary anti-virus software?” management thinks to itself. “Well, it couldn’t possibly be because of all the free or inexpensive alternatives that actually stop viruses and don’t often as not break the very Internet service we sell! Obviously, it’s because our support reps aren’t doing enough to sell it! Let’s try and badger them into hawking our software at every possible opportunity, by insinuating that their continued employment depends upon it!”
FC – That final panel is just…not right. From the way the three of them are perfectly spaced and wearing the same moronic grin, and the fact that Thel can turn her head well past the 90-degree mark like she’s a goddamn owl, it all comes off like some surreal insanity sequence. You can practically hear the disembodied voice of a little girl, speaking in a creepy monotone: “Four piggies…four piggies… *giggle!*” I think Bil is going to go wee-wee-wee all the way home to the police station when he walks in on the resulting scene…
FoxTrot – Today’s strip contains 100% of your RDA for lampshade hanging. Is Bill Amend a TV Tropes reader?
FW – Well, it’s good to see someone trying to bring back the utter pants-crapping insanity of the Silver Age. Now how about another story with Jimmy Olsen switching bodies with a gorilla?
JP – So now we know what it takes to bring Sam to orgasm: successful flaunting of police procedure and legal ethics. Maybe Abbey will actually get lucky tonight.
MT – “Nearness?”
MW – Oh my God. There is so much that’s wonderful about today’s Mary Worth, I don’t even know where to begin. Should I start with the fact that Wilbur’s “computer” is a flat-screen TV attached to a cash-register keypad? Or the way he thinks he can control it with wizardly gestures? How about the way his head changes shape in every panel, as Giella tries to find a depiction that will make him not look like a turtle? The ordinarily world-shattering notion that Wilbur may actually have spawned more than once almost seems like a minor tidbit by comparison.
MC – Zebra and Strawberry Shortcake wouldn’t be too bad to have around in your subconscious, orc dude looks pretty agreeable, and who wouldn’t want…whoever that chick on the right is? But Creepy Janitor Guy? I’d have to say I’d want to wake up from that.
PBS – Sorry, Pastis, I think you were upstaged by FoxTrot today.
Phantom – Wait, what’s with the artist’s table? Did they wind up at AmazonCon 2009 by mistake?
Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if the trend of retro revivals has entirely bypassed all of the things you are interested in.
PV – So giant centipede eggs contain hallucinogens?
RMMD – OhpleasebeCueohpleasebeCueohpleasebeCue…
Shoe – …um, ha ha?
SFx – If there’s one thing funny-animal cartoons have taught me, it’s that there’s an 80% chance that characters of the same species and coloration are related. So I’d say that it’s a fair bet that the manager here is actually Cassandra Cat’s cousin.
SM – I have to admit, I’m kind of charmed by the fact that the remote-controlled armored car has a full dashboard and steering wheel. It’s like the lost Love Bug movie.
mr 12 oz can
December 6th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
oh please can the taxi driver in rex morgan be a regular charecter . i hope mark doesnt feel guilty about rusty being crushed tomm .heck he was adopted anyway will be his first thoughts .
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
As a true outdoorsman, Mark knows that it’s just part of nature’s plan when freakish idiot boys get crushed under large vehicles. No sense getting all upset about it. Did someone say pancakes?
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
OMG has anyone checked in at Dean’s Comic Booth today?
Absolutely great mashups of MT and Beetle (scroll down a bit for the latter)!
Thanks for making my ribcage ache, Dean!
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
#210 The Restless Mouse – The “creepy eBay painting” is The Hands Resist Him, by Bill Stoneham. A nice, large image can be found here.
You’re welcome.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 6th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
344 queek: Hmmm…. What wine would one pair with an illicit bowl of popcorn?
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Sunday Mark Trail –
Oh Lordy, where to begin:
1. Predatory birds, not “the majority of birds” have higher distance acuity than humans.
2. Where does he get this “ability to change focus rapidly” business? The extreme curvature of birds’ corneae overpowers the optical power of their comparatively punk lenses and associated musculature.
3. Ack! Birds’ eyes aren’t “immovable in their sockets” — they have the same muscles and eye movements we do, although yes, the latter are greatly attenuated because the eyes are packed so tightly into the skull.
4. All birds have binocular vision to the front — 18° in the case of pigeons and doves. Predators just have more.
5. Binocular vision is useful for depth perception over a very limited range very close to the eye. Out beyond a yard or two, the difference in the images is too small to be seen. (Note: this is why one-eyed outfielders do just fine, and why “3-D” television will be a commercial failure.)
6. There are plenty of other, far more important, cues to distance — for a prey bird (and an outfielder), the most important is relative motion of an object (hawk!) against its background. This is why birds need to hold their heads still as much as possible, not why moving their heads is good (fer Chrissake).
7. Another important distance cue is relative size — the fox is close because the fox is big, not because “I looked twice, and the fox was in a different place the second time, and the background wasn’t, so EEK.”
Grumble grumble grumble.
mollificent
December 6th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
PBS: Haha! Thank you, Stephan. My mom is visiting and she and I are huge “Evita” fans. Your timing is exquisite. :)
MW: “Explore new worlds”? That explains why Wilbur is dislocating his fingers trying to flash the Vulcan hand salute in panel two.
Also, since we’re in the SyFy vein…”Search your feelings, Wilbur. You know it to be true.” ;)
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Maybe Wilbur inadvertently (or not so much so) came across a lovely little web site called
“Rate my C*ck.”
Or else Mary told him about it at the pool party.
KarMann
December 6th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
@commodorejohn #348: Re. PBS & Foxtrot: I beg to differ somewhat about Pastis being upstaged by Amend today. After all, note that both of the extended punchlines involve Argentina significantly. I suspect that you’ve been set up! and this may have been planned between them.
OK, granted, the Foxtrot still stands out in a way the PBS doesn’t.
True Fable
December 6th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Meddle Eyre Since I ain’t buyin’ that Wilbur even fathered Dawn let alone a second child, I can tell this is a scam.
Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! Shhh. Sam’s having an attorneygasm.
Rex Morgan, Formerly MIA IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME you got back! Do you have any idea how badly you’ve been needed? Don’t you EVER go on vacation again. Now clean up this mess; we got so tired of watching the alleged “drama” unfold between Timid Tim and Foxy Blonde Chick, we tore your shit up.
Miss Othmar
December 6th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
RMMD: Well, Rex is back, not that I’d recognize him. Is it me, or are the facial details sort of vague?
FW: And remind me, who’s the guy living above Montoni’s? Everyone looks different on Sundays, I can’t tell….
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
#359 Miss Othmar – The guy in today’s FW is Mopey Pete, the nerdy guy from pre-jump who somehow landed a job at Marvel writing comics, then jumped to DC for reasons I can’t remember (maybe Batiuk was pissed that Marvel had a character destroy the best thing about Peter Parker’s life just to torment him. You know, because he doesn’t like anybody else horning in on his territory.)
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Sam D. has either taken the Nestea plunge, or…
yeah, I’m not going to repeat what everyone else here thinks.
I was thinking about this waking up this AM – do any of you have a “favorite” lush in the comics?
From what I can tell, there are several candidates for AA in the, haha, funnies:
Gen. Halftrack
Hagar
Leroy Lockhorn
Thirsty Thurston
Celeste from JP (wonder if she is back at the “spa”)
Aldo!
Wally Winkerbean (maybe)
Funky (but he is in recovery)
Agnes Dunsmore
Carry on!
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Oh, and the male yacht captain from RM.
seismic-2
December 6th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Wrecks Morgan: If he walks into the living room and cries out “My crib!!!!”, then I shall have no further reason to read the funnies. My life will have been complete.
yaoi huntress earth
December 6th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
You know with the way Pam seems so scared of the modern world, miserable when her father is around and scared when he’s about to do something dangerous it would almost seem like her father beat her as a kid.
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
#361 Calico – I’d give very honorable mentions to Aldo and Celeste, but my very favorite comics lush has to be Agnes. No contest.
Baka Gaijin
December 6th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
#363 seismic-2: “My crib!!!!” is much better than “Where’s my shotgun? The divan’s infested with clowns!”
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 6th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
#348 – Crock is actually not as completely random as it seems – not today, at least. There’s a pretty widely-circulated legend that John Dilinger escaped from prison using precisely that, a potato carved to look like a pistol (and dyed black). This doesn’t make Crock funny; only marginally less inexplicable.
wossname
December 6th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
RM: Rex and June’s crib looks like SOMEBODY has been having a poutine/potato-ade/murlow party there!
MT: Despite Uncle Lumpy’s dissertation on the subject, I think the subtext to MT’s droning about birds’ eyesight is actually an apologia for Trailian perspective. “Each eye has a separate field of view, making it difficult to judge distance and size…” So you mean if they tried to draw a comic strip, they would draw chipmunks the size of Mack trucks, hmmmmm? I think Jackelrod is trying to tell us he has monocular vision.
Niall
December 6th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I swear I had nothing to do with that party at Rex’! I was… busy. Yeah.
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
#365 – I don’t follow Agnes, but maybe I should!
Thanks for the tip(ple)!
TheDiva
December 6th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
C’shaft: Yeah, you just can’t go out to the stores and shop if you are so inclined because…um…er…you just can’t, okay? New technology is evil! Remember the Good Old Days! Viva la Pluggers!
FW: Sit down, Charles Dickens…if you want to smack this little mouth-breather, you’ll have to wait in line like the rest of us.
MW: Yet another danger of the Internet age: that bender you went on in Vegas seventeen years ago might come back to haunt you.
seismic-2
December 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
#361Calico – Please don’t overlook GT’s bete noire, Marty Moon. He guzzles hooch faster than Snuffy Smith can brew it.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
# 333 willethompson — BWAHAHA!
# 351 Calico — I drop by Dean’s almost every day, and I’m always glad I did:-).
# 354 Uncle Lumpy — Thank you.
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
#370 Calico – I was actually referring to Agnes Dunsmore. Agnes is worth following, though.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Since Calico asked about lushes (and I vote for Aldo), I’ll ask about cats. Which comic strip cat best expresses the real nature of real cats?
I won’t list candidates because my brain isn’t functioning that well at the moment, sorry. But offhand, I think I’d choose the cat in ARLO AND JANIS, while reserving the right to change my mind if someone reminds me of a better candidate.
Amateur
December 6th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
MW: Is Wilbur typing on that computer or conducting it?
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
# 375 — And if this question has already been asked and answered on CC, I apologize. Like I said, my brain isn’t going full-tilt today.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
MW — Are we laying bets yet on whether Wilbur’s supposed child is a son or daughter? Based on everything I’ve seen in MW for the past few years, I vote for daughter. And if she’s a scammer, I predict she’ll be aided in the scam by some creepy guy.
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I so wasn’t at that party at Rex’s, either. And it had nothing to do with the “Free Cue” movement. And I never saw that poutine before in my life
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I swear the only thing I broke at Rex’s was that little lamp in the master bedroom, and I left some cash to pay for it in the bedside stand. I kinda wish I hadn’t, because what I saw when I opened the drawer, I’ll never be able to forget. Eewwwww.
river
December 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
God I hate the drawing style of Marmaduke.
mr 12 oz can
December 6th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
oh no i can read moys mind wilber will be going on the santa royale version of maury povich where they do the dna tests .i had to bring the company vehicle to the shop last month and maurey was on in the waiting room and it was same exact story.
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
<fanboy>I’m seriously loving the story in the daily Phantom, and actually looking forward to reading it every day. Post-Aldo, it is by far the best of the continuity strips.
I wonder if the authors are planning to put Hawa and Kay undercover at Rhodia’s Gravelines Supermax to find/rescue Diana? Ignoring for now the prurient potential of girls-behind-bars and catfight-in-prison, um, “plot devices”, it would mean that the entire Jungle Patrol arc — as well as the Ebola arc — were just laying the foundation for this one.
Regardless, DePaul and Ryan are doing some of the best work on the funny pages. </fanboy> If they can work in June Morgan, Abby Spencer, and Jello® wrestling, I will be in heaven.
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
#370 – Fer cryin’ oot lood, I thought by your post that Agnes WAS a comic strip. I totally dissociated there!
(Ah, it’s Sunday, and I was up late last night…)
Maybe we could create a cartoon with Agnes D., Mary Worth, and Rose from Crankshaft. It would be like a croosover between 3G and The Golden Girls! : P
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
#372 and #375 – Wow, I forgot about Mr.
KeithMarty Moon.Re: cats, strangely I think Kittycat in FC is the most “regular” cat in the comics. She listens and watches the Malapropism clan with a sense of amusement, facetiousness, and irony.
B. Racoon
December 6th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
queek @344. Notice if you will the language skills of the featured animal. It is not up to Racoon standards. You are seeing in this picture a normal raccoon. However, since he is developing language skills, he is eligible for training to someday become a Racoon. This will probably occur since he’s showing fine taste by enjoying a nice bowl of popcorn. Yum!
The jury is still out on what wine to serve with popcorn. At the moment many feel a nice Chianti is enjoyable with popcorn. Expecially gormet popcorn.
KarMann
December 6th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Calico #384: Agnes is a comic strip. But I must admit, I’m not familiar offhand with this Agnes Dunsmore that’s been mentioned. Which strip is she from?
@B. Racoon #386: Ah, I see you’re back from the Morgan residence at last. How was it?
Charterstoned
December 6th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
MW — Please, oh, please, let Wilbur’s message be signed by Toby Cameron, as an opening scene of “When (Comic) Worlds Collide!”
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
#386 – Oh my God you have to try the cheddar cheese kettle corn from http://www.popcornindiana.com
They have it here in Quebec City now and even our highway cat Felix loves it.
#387 – Agnes D. is a lovely elder writer who met the Morgans (RMMD) during their cruise.
B. Racoon
December 6th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
KarMann @387. Things at the Morgan compound are not as they seem. That is all I can say at this moment. However, I will suggest that great things will not be happening soon.
B. Racoon
December 6th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Calico @389. Ah! Bring on the Kettle Corn!
Racoon factoid – Kettle Corn is much better than a cigarette after making love!
KarMann
December 6th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
@Calico #389: Oh, I remember her now! And I especially remember her with a glass in her hand, appropriately enough. She was the one who kept an eye on the little girl, Sarah I think?, when Rex and June were, *ahem*, too busy, right?
Hank
December 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Wow. Rex Morgan is back in his own strip. He’s been gone so long I was starting to think he’d lost a bet with Judge Parker or something.
Aviatrix
December 6th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I wish to express my thanks to all but one Mudgeon for your excellent use of English orthography, such as punctuation, capital letters and your best try at spelling. Your courtesy makes it pleasurable to read your snark.
bats :[
December 6th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
375. Poteet re the real nature of cats: I’ll second Ludwig, the big purple cat in Arlo and Janis. Between the one last week of him digging for-freakin’-ever in the litter box in the wee (ahem) hours of the morning, and one Sunday strip in which he stalks a bird, loses it, and then bitches at Arlo about it (in the way only a cat-owner who has a talkie cat would understand), I think Ludwig is a very cat-like cat.
bats :[
December 6th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Speaking of the real nature of things…
B. Racoon
December 6th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
bats :[ @396. It looks like Sam could use some Kettle Corn.
Bryan
December 6th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
348, commodore john …orc dude looks pretty agreeable…
I think that guy is supposed to be Panthro from The Thundercats.
http://tinyurl.com/yf82qkq
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
With popcorn: Sancerre (white), or Cava Rosado (sparkling rosé).
Yolm
December 6th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Pluggers: Isn’t he drooling?
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
#398 Bryan – Ah, I think you’re right. That was a bit before my time, I’m afraid.
Farley's Revenge
December 6th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Gotta agree on A&J’s cat, Ludwig, as being the most cat-like cat in the comics. RiR’s Peekaboo occasionally displays typical catlike behavior but is usually drawn as way over the top. 9CL’s Solange has her/his “hallmarks of felinity”, which are often quite true to cat behavior but Solly isn’t a regular cast member(pity).
Other cats that come to mind are Attila in MG&G, Mooch in Mutts, and the Kitty in SF.
Garfield isn’t a cat. He’s a demon in orange fur.
Sequitur
December 6th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
400. Yolm
Let’s hope he’s rabid. Then we can put him down.
402. Farley’s Revenge
I seem to remember a cat in Peanuts that, I believe, Violet toted about. There was also a neighbor cat that Snoopy would taunt. All we saw of that cat was his claws as he would swoosh slice Snoopy.
Steve the Pocket
December 6th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
@Mardou Fox #339: Wait, “ROTFL” even? So do they pronounce it “rotfull” or “arrotee-effelle?” Either way, it’s moronic and should really be reserved for when the theme of the comic is “those kids today and their dumb text-speak.” Yeah, I know. But given the choice between old cartoonists making fun of modern trends and old cartoonists awkwardly embracing them, I’ll go with the former any day.
@Poteet #375: Probably Solange from 9 Chickweed Lane. I don’t read many strips that feature cats, period (besides Garfield and Get Fuzzy and of course those don’t count), but I’ve never seen “That’s just like my cat!” type comments here in response to anyone else.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
My Cage: Damn, he’s not even married yet and Norm’s thinking about stepping out on Bridget with another woman. And to a bad eighties song to boot. “Run To You” by Bryan Adams is probably more appropo.
Jamus The Bartender
December 6th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
405 was me. Damn, I hate it when that happens.
Jamus The Bartender
December 6th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
9CL: Bambi Woods in Debbie Does Dallas :)
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
#404 Steve: For ROTFL they say “arrotee-effelle” really fast, “IDK” is “eyedekay,” “LOL” is not spelled, but pronounced as “loll,” and “OMG” is, yeah, “oh-em-gee.”
I know, I know. It’s so stupid, but I can vouch for it, at least in this area. We’re in kind of a Lost Forest/Pluggerville region that’s usually a little behind the times with the teens and their trends, so I have to think it’s a widespread phenomenon. I haven’t heard any moose saying “ROTFL” yet–just teenagers.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
# 396 bats:[ — Yep, that’s real. Hahaha!
# 405 Jamus — Yeah, I agree re MY CAGE. If you’re tempted to cheat during your engagement, which is the traditional time for being giddily in love, whaddya think it’s gonna be like when you’ve been married ten years? Forget it, Norm — you aren’t even nearly ready.
On another topic, it occurs to me that if there’s a Death Cat who can tell before the doctors when a person is about to die, there should also be a Birth Cat, who can tell when a pregnant woman is about to pop before any human. Birth Cat could be fun.
wossname
December 6th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
361 Calico – I guess I’d vote for Aldo, but let’s not forget Charley – he was tossing back a lot of something in the Delilah non-seduction scene.
375 Poteet – I vote for Mooch. I mean, OK, real cats don’t talk, but if they did, they would say the things he says.
Everybody re Rex & June’s crib – Never seen the place before, but that giant economy-size bottle of Costco Vineyards murlow on the chair looks vaguely familiar.
408 Mardou Fox – It sort of makes sense – in a stupid way – when the letters take less time to say than the words, as in FYI. But does anybody say “bee-tee-double-U”? I hope not.
Buck Ripsnort
December 6th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
#361– Calico, I’m old enough to remember when Andy Capp drank, as well as dropped his “H”s and beat his wife. I don’t miss that last part, I hasten to add, but I do have fond memories of him before he started hawking those damn Pub Fries.
Buck Ripsnort
December 6th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Two questions–
SFox: Did Randy Rat get reassignment surgery or something? Looks much more fem than the last time I saw “him”.
S4th: If the Forths are buying a tree today, WTF were they decorating all last week?
Batman Beatles
December 6th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
RMMD: Poor Tim didn’t stand a chance with Becka. Now he has to go home with his mother where he’ll hear “I’m hungry! Where’s my dinner! Do you have my dinner?”.
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Re: textspeak —
My daughter tells me that T9onyms (a.k.a. “textonyms”) have crept into speech among teh kidz. Examples are “that’s so book” (for “cool”), and “Zonino!” (for “woohoo”). Apparently Dublin lads hit the pubs for an “idiom” (for “Heino”, the local, um, idiom for Heineken). When sorely vexed, my daughter will refer to another young lady as a “chubi.”
Fun fact: “hai” is an textological abbreviation for “hi”, even though it has more letters — predictive-text algorithms force you to wait before you can key the “i” after the “h”, but not after the “a”, since the latter falls on a different key. Teh kidz key much faster than T9 algorithms allow for, so it takes less time and allows more control to key the longer “word.”
Sequitur
December 6th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
412. Buck Ripsnort
ie. S4th – Practice tree. Them 4ths don’t leave anything to chance.
Uncle Lumpy
December 6th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
@Buck Ripsnort (#412) –
The tree of their continuity editor, that sly chubi.
Sequitur
December 6th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
409. Poteet
Here’s your birth cat.
Red Greenback
December 6th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
FC: Either the grandparents are both giving the children deep French kisses or they are trying to fish their dentures back out of the tyke’s mouths. And Thel is so checking out Jeffy’s can. Sick.
maryworthless
December 6th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
another “drunk” from MW – the lovely Rita!! Forget her? She broke Mary’s precious swans.
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
#403 About that Peanuts cat–I’m pretty sure it belonged to minor character Frieda (“I have naturally curly hair”). The cat just hung limply in her arms all the time. Apparently Schultz thought introducing a cat was a good idea, but then he realized he couldn’t draw them at all. He couldn’t get the cat out of that floppy pose, so he just dropped it.
I always though Snoopy was kind of cat-like with his refusal to do dog-like things and his very high opinion of himself!
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
# 417 Sequitur — Major. Cuteness. Overload.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
A3G — Bobbie, it’s me. I confess. Happy now? And don’t worry, I’m sending him right back to you. Why you even want him, I don’t know.
Mardou Fox
December 6th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
#410 I’m sorry to break it to you but they do say “bee tee double ewe.” And they also say “Jay kay” a lot = JK = “just kidding.”
It’s enough to make you TUIYMALB (throw up in your mouth a little bit).
Calico
December 6th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Here’s another dose of incredible cute:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CEl2X7OecM
(Moo Mooing)
dale
December 6th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Prince Variable
It took Val one or two Sundays of the present adventure to strap on his sword. Where does he carry that thing the rest of the time?
This week he’s managed to put on some kind of leggings while falling down. This is probably a good skill if one goes spelunking while wearing a dress.
Aviatrix
December 6th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Poteet @409 – And ‘conception cat.’
heynoni
December 6th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
There is nothing normal about a boy child getting excited about kissing a whole bunch of grown-ups and old people, unless that child was born into, and raised by, a cult movement. You know, like that one that was forcibly broken up back in the 90s and resulted in several members being imprisoned after their own children started turning up at hospital with STDs.
queek
December 6th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
426: Ceiling Cat is watching you. . . .
Dr. Weird
December 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
428 queek -
Dang, you beat me to it! I was looking for a suitable pic and, well, lolcats are distracting.
Poteet
December 6th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
# 426 Aviatrix — I like it:-). I might suggest STD Cat (if she stares balefully at your blind date, look out!) But that would be just silly.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 6th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
What happened to Josh? This isn’t a holiday weekend. Am I going to have to post some snark to kill this thread?
BB: This is what “power bottoming” looks like. Beetle lets Sarge push him around, but it has to be his way.
Crock: Who are they supposed to point the fake gun at? Why don’t they just climb out the huge keyhole-sized holes in the sides? Or the windows? Unless they’re built like Grossie, in which case there’s probably no room in that box for the potato.
DtM: Ha, ha! Those wacky hu-mans and their food-based metaphor!
(WT)DT: For someone who can draw neither hands nor cell phones, Dick Locher sure puts both in his strip a whole lot.
H&L: Please tell me kids today don’t actually say “OMG OMG OMG.” Please?
JP: “…Aaaand he completely borked the chain of custody. Got any other bright ideas, counselor?”
Hateeachothers: “Band camp” + Loretta + piano = UNSPEAKABLE FILTH
MW: Wilbur Weston’s ongoing mission… To explore strange new worlds… To seek out new life and new– HOLY CRAP, you mean Wilbur’s laid more than two women in his lifetime?!?
RMMD: A crime?! I blame the guy in the turban! Quick, get Lou Dobbs on the phone!
6C: I do not understand. Something tells me that if I did, I still wouldn’t find it funny.
SFx: And once the bottle’s been opened, it can’t be put back on the shelf, so it’s a loss to the store anyway. Brilliant, Sherlock.
Also: In the second panel, that’s not toothpaste!!!
Luann: “Did you notice I’m giving you my virginity? Oral only, of course!”
Sequitur
December 6th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
How ’bout Graduation Cat?
Sequitur
December 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Back to comics.
The Ziggy mantra.
commodorejohn
December 6th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
#413 Batman Beatles – “I wonder what’s for dinner?”
Poteet
December 7th, 2009 at 12:16 am
# 432 Sequitur — And that’s about how old some college graduates look to me now:-).
queek
December 7th, 2009 at 12:17 am
431, see 338.
and no, its not funny.
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1116/647219799_e141a0dd38.jpg?v=0
ChristianPinko
December 7th, 2009 at 12:19 am
#383 – I like the current Phantom storyline too, Uncle Lumpy. I don’t know that I like it as much as you, but I give props to DePaul and Ryan for trying to stretch out serial strips in interesting ways. And when you compare their work to other action/adventure strips like Spider-Man, Dick Tracy, or Mandrake . . . it’s night and day.
Speaking of other overachieving strips, am I crazy for wondering whether the recent RMMD story line was some kind of response to FOOB? I just realized earlier tonight how much Tim is like Anthony: a moustached passive-aggressive guy who makes passes at women in wildly inappropriate circumstances. Except RMMD has Becka more realistically blow him off. And maybe Tim’s mother is like Elly, except where Elly merely has a peculiar desire to see her children marry their first loves, Tim’s mom has descended utterly into dementia.
KarMann
December 7th, 2009 at 12:23 am
So, are we going to go for a 1000-comment thread again, already?
FREE CUE!!
Uncle Lumpy
December 7th, 2009 at 12:45 am
@ChristianPinko (#437) –
I have a soft spot for Mandrake, because some of its conventions are as loopy as the old Chester Gould Dick Tracy, but mostly because it was one of the high spots in the Milwaukee Sentinel after they dropped Rip Kirby, ’round about 1966 or so. And the action still moves along faster than in most continuity strips.
But the artwork has gone all scribbly, and the past few plots require knowing a lot of backstory (of “The Traveler”, the strip’s Mr. Mxyzptlk, and a pair of shape-shifting or otherwise masters-of-disguise twin brothers, one apparently worse than the other).
On the other hand, there is a rampaging robot. One should never turn one’s back on a rampaging robot!
True Fable
December 7th, 2009 at 12:48 am
#432 Sequitur – I like the graduation cat. Sounds the way some of my former classmates actually talk.
Red Greenback
December 7th, 2009 at 1:09 am
This is creepy.
KarMann
December 7th, 2009 at 1:11 am
@Uncle Lumpy #439: Well, I always preferred the Milwaukee Journal anyway, while they were still separate. So that wouldn’t have mattered much to me anyway. Oh yeah, aside from that being 3 years before I was born, and 9 years before I moved to the Milwaukee area.
hogenmogen
December 7th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Late comment on Friday’s Hagar: The first thing I thought of was “Why is the tap so high? 2/3 of that keg is going to waste!!”
pam
December 9th, 2009 at 10:53 am
This Family Circus strip was recycled! I remember it from a book of cartoons I owned when I was a kid (and still loved FC). All they did was modify Thelma’s hair. The giveaway: “Grandpa” is in the frame without his angel wings. He died about 20 yrs ago and he’s been wearing ‘em ever since.