The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Last post of the aughts naughts ohs decade!

Well, kids, as happens every year, I’m about to depart for my annual multi-city Christmas travelganza. I will start posting again on January 2, or thereabouts! But, as has become my wont, I have some fun things to share with you before I sign off for the year.

First up is an awesomely ambitious offering from faithful reader commodorejohn! You may have heard some of this comics-themed music before; now he’s completed an entire concept album called The Funnies, the cover art to which I dearly hope he doesn’t mind that I reproduce here:

With song titles like “Mary Worth Told Me To,” “Bösendorfer Bop,” and “Rockin’ The Armory (Recorded live at the Bucket, August 4th, 2009.)”, how could you go wrong? And it’s downloadable for free! What are you waiting for?

Also! I got a note from faithful reader Kattack about a recent trip she took to Monterey, California, where she encountered a playground dedicated to Dennis the Menace. Here she is, high-fiving and frolicking with the cartoon scamp in an extremely non-menacing fashion:

As is generally the case, the missing menace was provided by raccoons, who have decided to blanket the park with their delicious-looking feces:

“I actually made my whole family go out of their way to find this park once I saw it on a map because I knew you would appreciate it,” Kattack says. “The raccoon shit sign was just a bonus.”

Also! We’ve all been watching in mingled horror and fascination as the Pearls Before Swine characters have, with apparent success, agitated for Ziggy to start wearing pants. But what if things had gone … the other way? The Jumble’s Jeff Knurek dares to visualize it!

And finally! Faithful reader Susan sent me some pics of one of her delightful finds: a Mark Trail coloring book!

Wait, who’s this little blonde girl? A friend for Rusty? Ha ha, just kidding, it’s well known that Rusty has no friends.

What says “good, wholesome fun for kids” more than the severed heads of their favorite comics characters surrounding a personal message from Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Interior?

The most unsettling thing to me about this image is Mark and Rusty’s white hair. Kids, do you have an extremely black crayon? One that’s blacker than black? One that’s so black it appears to shine with its own dark, mysterious inner light?

Let me just step in here and say that you don’t own any of America, Rusty. It’s exactly this sort of commie “holding land in common” talk that led directly to Mark’s brutal assault on a duly appointed law enforcement officer.

And on that note, I leave you to your own holiday fun. See ya in 2010, everybody!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 03:40 am and is filed under Dennis the Menace, Jumble, Mark Trail, Pearls Before Swine, Ziggy. |

1,747 responses to “Metapost: Last post of the aughts naughts ohs decade!”

Dr. Weird
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 am [Reply]

I’m glad that Mark Trail coloring book upholds the giant-animal tradition!
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 am [Reply]

Well, I guess there’s nothing for it but to start the count to one thousand, then.
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:29 am [Reply]

One thousand?! We’ve got at least eight days. We can hit three thousand. Especially with the bonanza of comics spread before us.

So are there any more twists left in MT? Mark takes the keys, takes the patrol car, races to the beach, rescues Rusty just as his head goes under water by towing the car off him with the police car, then drives back to the police station and locks himself back in the cell?
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:29 am [Reply]

And let me just add, if it had to be signed by a Reagan-era Secretary of the Interior, at least it wasn’t James Watt!
Kibo
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:27 am [Reply]

Jerry Seinfeld wishes to point out that, AS EVERYONE KNOWS, there was no year 1, therefore the current decade is 2001-2010, and therefore, Josh, you just promised to go about 370 days without posting. I don’t want to see that happen, but I also don’t want to see you go to Internet Jail for breaking a promise on the Internet. How can we best resolve this tragic situation? Why, by asking Mark Trail to pummel the year 2009 into submission. The year will cry, “No mas, no more decade! I yield, I’m ending the decade early! The Oughties are over, and 2010 is cancelled!” That way, everybody wins!
Kibo
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 am [Reply]

Er, excuse me, typo above — there was no year _0_. Of course there was a year 1. That’s when Batman was born.
Lanfranc
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:33 am [Reply]

#5 Kibo is right, but with both TIME magazine and now The Comics Curmudgeon falling into error, I fear this is a losing battle. These are cultural influences of substance. :-(
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 am [Reply]

Another point in Josh’s favor would be that the decade he’s referring to, whether as the aughts, naughts, or ohs, is characterized by third digit being a zero, rather than specifying “the 201st decade A.D.” So the decade he’s talking about does, indeed, come to a close with my next birthday, instead of the following one.
IagoPogo
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:54 am [Reply]

There was no Year Zero, because Chuck Norris scared it out of existence. Happy Holidaze, everyone!
True Fable
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:00 am [Reply]

Frankly I consider it a plus to be able on any given day to get more than three hours’ sleep, so I really don’t give a damn what decade a 0 belongs in. It only seems like a decade since a full 8 hours of sleep.

I got in a ten-hour stretch a while back when I was so heavily medicated the pharmacy was going to stamp a big red Rx on my forehead, but naturally I do not recall what day. Or month for that matter.

Oh yes – congratulations, commodorejohn! I will download that bad boy as soon as I get home where there is a computer bigger than a gnat’s spleen that will handle a download.
Mayzshon
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 am [Reply]

So it turns out that cop ( I acn’t remember his name, so let’s just call him Target boy) actually was at Mary’s. So kudos to everyone who guessed him as the identity of the mystery hand.
So is it his manly lips, or some really good weed that accounts for Dr. Jeff’s expression?
Or both?
Lucky
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 am [Reply]

Family Circus – Jeffy’s sure going to get it in Christmas Day. Billy is being more menacing today than Dennis has been this whole year.

Heathcliff – Since Heatcliff is by no means a kitten, I can only assume that he’s planning to lure in some naughty underaged pussy.

Mark Trail – I was this close yesterday to saying that Mark will punch the sheriff as soon as he gets out of the cell.

Pluggers – …are unable to finish a top ten list.

As for the year zero thing, my 2010s start right here. This was a pathetic decade and sooner it’s over the better.
GalacticEmperorChennux®™©
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:26 am [Reply]

…whoa, let me start that again…

ATTENTION EARTHERS! CLENCH YOUR CHRISTMAS RIBBONS UNTIL YOUR PRESENTS SQUEAL WITH PAIN! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

TO THE EARTHER KNOWN AS COMMODOREJOHN! CHENNUX HAS DOWNLOADED YOUR MUSIC AND IS DISPLEASED! YOU ARE NOW UNDER GALACTIC INDICTMENT FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, AS “THIS WEEK IN JUDGE PARKER, PT. 1″ HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY REGISTERED AS “APPALACHIAN SPRING” ON ZYNOX SIX! I AM NOW SETTING THE MAGMACANNON ON ‘SAUTE!’ HAHA!

(Your Emperor kids. He came for the music, but he stayed for the cover art, esp. the back)

END TRANSMISSION!
Écureuil Écumant
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:34 am [Reply]

MT: If he really wanted to put Deppity Dawg down for the count, he should’ve hit him with a snowball.
Little Guy
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Have fun on your sojourn, and here’s to 2010 (posts, that is).

9CL: I really…. REALLY want to see how Brooke would have handled the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga. It would have ended with Chris’ nose pinched.

MT: I’ll let the “Prison Break” snark aside and hope we get to see The Trial of Mark Trail. “You might be right, that the accused was trying to help a young boy from drowning, but breaking and entering, assault on a peace officer…. GUILTY!”

Followed by Mark punching out the Judge and Jury.

RMMD: “…and she has better tits that me!”

Spidey: Um, yeah, like that, Stan. Like I suggested. Excelsior, or whatever state motto you want.

GT: “Yeah, I got your commitment… right HERE! This is MINE! This is where my commitments come from!”
Little Guy
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 am [Reply]

GalacticEmperorChennux®™© is back! Yeah! This is the bestest Christmas ever!
Charterstoned
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

MW – I thought Adrian was speaking of role models and people of integrity when she raised her blood-filled glass in that toast. The current plot suggests that Wilbur is neither, as Dawn is about to find out. And, speaking of Dawn, who would have thought that she could outdo Mary in the glop department? What the hell are she and Wilbur eating, anyway? At first, I thought it was grits, but judging from the time difference evident from yesterday’s clock and today’s, along with the implied “meanwhile,” unless the laws of physics really have ceased to exist on Wilbur’s stove–wait, sorry, this is Wilbur we’re talking about. Nevermind. Anyway, whatever it is, looks like she made enough to hold them until Josh gets back.
John C Fremont
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Happy holiday(s) of your choice, Josh! We’ll be, uh, good or something. Oh, and all hail the return of our Galactic Emperor!

GT – So that’s not Gil sitting next to Cassie in that last panel, kicking back Foob-style in his sockies? And what’s with the Jack Elrod word balloons? So the guy who’s not Gil is saying that Coach Thorp wants a commitment, while his bandaged and deformed fist is saying something to the effect of, “I’ve got your commitment right here!” (And as Captain Hammer might say, “And by ‘commitment,’ I mean my penis.”)

(Sorry, Little Guy. I saw your comment when I previewed. I’m just too darned lazy to try to come up with something else. ‘Tis the season, or something…)
Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Ziggy is lost to me, but I still have Love Is….
Naked Bunny with a Whip
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Have a safe trip, Josh. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
John C Fremont
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

#17 Charterstoned – Looks like corn meal mush. Sure, those snooty, *high-falutin’ gals at A3G might try to pass it off as polenta, but to guys named Wilbur, it’s just plain mush, the way God intended. No, not God. I meant Rod, as in Stewart, as in a poor attempt to work in a Rutles reference. (Sorry. Grandma Keane shared some of her medication with me.)

* Also acceptable is “high-falootin’” and “highfalutin” minus the hyphen and apostrophe. Not acceptable would be, “Hi, Falutin!”

I need more coffee. And maybe some mush.
Brick Bradford
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 am [Reply]

Oh no, Josh left the liquor cabinet open and the cupboard of FULL of chocolate! I spy trouble brewing!

MW Either Wilbur and Whosit are eating oatmeal for dinner or Mary and the gang are drinking breakfast. Either would explain a lot.

MT Think Mark will do any time for any of this, here in the County With The Slowest Tide EVER?
Mark’s pretty durned tough for a tree hugger, isn’t he?

Phantom: The Ghost Who Walks is grieving by yanking his rope. I know, I know, but it had to be said.
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

17 Charterstoned, 21 John C Fremont: Whatever that glop is, it’s making Dawn’s face melt.

In the Cory panel, meanwhile (and who knows if these are supposed to be simultaneous), why are all four of them crowded around one corner of the table? And where are Jeff’s hands?
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 am [Reply]

22 Brick Bradford – We’d better warn RJ the Janitor to call in reinforcements. Remember what happened over Thanksgiving!

Also, I agree with Aviatrix that if we could do 1000 posts over Thanksgiving, we can definitely do 3000 between now and Jan. 1.

And KarMann @ 8 – are you subtly telling us that Dec. 31 is your birthday? Let’s chill some of that champagne from Josh’s liquor cabinet.
John C Fremont
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:02 am [Reply]

I thought The Phantom was going to try to forget his past by sailing out to sea Long Voyage Home-style, a sort of sea-farin’ version of joining the French Foreign Legion or becoming a circus clown named Buttons. Instead he’s taking tourists on a pleasure cruise. Not at all what I had in mind, although I suppose that girl in the June Morgan bikini could potentially help him forget what’s-her-name. Hey, it’s working already!
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

MT: Two words. Awe. Some. (or Awe. A Whole Heck of a Lot for Barney Stinsonphiles).

MW: “Did you delete it?.. and, oh yeah.. I’M MELTING, MELTING.. OH, WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD…”
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

“Right in the Fuckin’ Face!”

God, I love it.

Trail Justice(tm) rules!
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Merry Xmas to you too Jack Elrod! : D
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

I really loved today’s Mandy, especially the wide-eyed excitement in the next-to-last panel. Very sweet, and better for being wordless.
shermy glamrocker
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 am [Reply]

The only appropriate action June Morgan can take is to throw Brooke out of the house on Christmas Eve. Wearing only a nightie. In the cold. Oh, baby Jesus, forgive my impure thoughts.
Marthas Rolling Pin
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Maybe it’s the Christmas spirit in the air, but I just couldn’t resist doubling down on the crazythat is Popeye.
Miss Othmar
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Oh, we need a little Kwanzaa, right this very minute….
queek
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

Lio: guest starring Dick Tracy. Who knew that Lio’s dad like “Shit & Go Blinds” as well?

StripyButt: Second Officer Guido didn’t spend long in the pokey, did he? And dang, the blonde is rockin’ the bikini.

RMMD: *sigh* best. June. face. evar!

A&J: that is so the queeksgirl this time of year.

CdS: I am loving this weeks strips. Batshit insanity at its finest.
Willy
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Comic Book Rusty looks almost human, especially his severed head. This pretty much cinches my hypothesis that contemporary Rusty is actually a zom-boy. I mean really, what living human being could stand more than a few minutes with Mark?
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Do any of y’all read Kevin & Kell? I really like it and think some of you might. In briefest summary (which doesn’t do it justice) it’s about a male rabbit and a female wolf who met online and fell in love before discovering that they were prey/predator. They got married anyway, although they are considered strange by both sides. It’s often quite clever, IMO.

I read it in the Atlanta paper (yeah, the one that’s printed on newsprint in ink). Haven’t seen it online, at least not in the obvious places, and I know many of us don’t want to add another step to our already-grueling daily comics-surfing routine. But check it out if you get a chance. Here’s the strip’s own site
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

* barely able to suppress her childlike glee at having created a link in html that actually works – and after only 20 minutes of trying! *
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

One of Mark’s furry friends in Oklahoma has a major freakout:
http://www.koco.com/news/22042422/detail.html

Imagine being carted away by a huge beaver.
lizaroni
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Just downloaded The Funnies and heard Mary Worth Told Me To for the 1st time. Christmas came a little bit early this year! Thanks, Commodorejohn! (and thanks to Josh for posting the link)
Brick Bradford
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 am [Reply]

#37 “However, Lane’s boyfriend took a picture of the beaver after he beat it with a crowbar”. T-Shirt!
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

37 “They didn’t believe it was a beaver. They thought it was a raccoon,” Lane said.

Now that’s an outrage! Some poor critter turns up all foaming at the mouth and going medieval and biting little boys, and everyone assumes it’s a raccoon?

B. Racoon, can you and your powerful cabal do anything about this?

(Also: “My biggest worry is that he has rabies, and I don’t know. Nobody knows,” Lane said.

Ummmmm – the beaver didn’t run from the kid and instead attacked him? I know.)
anonymous
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

But – in those MT coloring book pictures – what about that gigantic prehistoric size Kinglet? And the equally gigantic Common Sulphur? I’d be ducking for cover if those monsters were watching me – or swooping down on me.
Miss Othmar
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

#35 wossname: Thanks for the link, I had never seen Kevin and Kell and it definitely looks promising. Their current storyline reminds me to mention that Brewster Rockit (another great strip isn’t mentioned often enough here) is also doing an homage to Christmas Stories We Love.
anonymous
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

The sad thing is, what kid today would ever even see a kinglet or a common sulpher? Or know what it was, if they did? They’re all inside their parents McMansions, gobbling junk food and twittering or playing videogames or texting. Or whatever the hell they do.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Right now, I’m imagining a petite woman in Oregon swooning at that image of Pastis with his wonderful junk displayed like first prize in a raffle.

I do not know what to do with the final installment of my Mark Trail story. Whether it’s to save Rusty or not, punching an officer of the law should get Mark at least 18 months in jail.

Also, I see already I’m not the first but Josh, Josh, Josh, the decade has a year to go!
Ribinin
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:26 am [Reply]

I am still trying to get the concept of a teenage 200 pound taking dog out of my head. If any of you have not seen the Marmaduke teaser, you are warned not to.

Is there any brain bleach in the medicine cabinet? I know somebody has checked the medicine cabinet by now.
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

The Mark Trail coloring book:

Cover: “Hey, look, kids, there’s the word ‘book’!”

page image 1: Rusty has the same exact nose as Mark. Are we sure Rusty was adopted?

page image 2: The mystery blonde girl has the same exact sideways face as Mark. Are we su– oh, right, everyone in the strip has the sideways face of a man. It’s just Elrod’s one-and-only sideways face as an artist. If we had a closer look, we’d see that the little girl has whiskers!

page image 3: The other third, of course, belongs to multi-national corporations.

What’s the sound a butterfly makes? Why, “Common sulphur”, of course. And, as always, its scream sounds exactly like a high-pitched key on Ray Manzarek’s keyboard.
Ribinin
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

#45 me – I meant to type “talking”, but with Marmaduke “taking” works too.
Josh
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 am [Reply]

I say pish to all of your decade pedantry. Centuries and millenia end in years ending in 0 and begin in years ending in 1, to be sure, because of the “no year 0″ thing. But decades are defined and named by the next-to-last digit of the year. Otherwise you’d have ludicrous scenarios like 1980 being part of the 70s, which it isn’t, because the defining feature of the 70s was that the next to last digit of the year is 7.

Josh
Bart
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#3 Aviatrix – OK, sounds good. Except, how will Mark get the police car down to the beach? Where’s a deer when you really need one?
Weaselboy
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

I’m just about to leave for Christmas in Carmel, California. I must make a side trip to Monterey just for the Dennis the Menace park.
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Christmas Eve Eve:

9CL: Legend? Really?? The protoBurber ego was in place long before now, that’s for sure.

Cranky: Thus began The Great Christmas Klutz Routine of ‘09…

DT: “But Tracy, it’s the new storyline, and you’re the star of this strip. You hafta go.”

FC: “…then we can go back to just being really dull.”
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

#46 – for Xmas, I want a Mark Trail comic book with only scenes of Mark punching things.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Today’s Jumble

YDOOMS [__] [__] __ [__] __ __
LATLEFOI __ __ [__] __ __ __ __ __
GRAOM GEAEM __ [__] __ __ __ || __ [__] __ __ __
ZARTAAN [__] __ __ __ __ [__] __
PLEINP [__] __ __ [__] __ __

Ziggy can turn curmudgeons into these. __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#37 – Me – I also meant to say “No Rosie O’Donnell jokes, please!”
Chip Whittle
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:41 am [Reply]

So if I can follow the course in Dick Tracy: there’s a disturbance at the Symphony Hall. The police are made aware of this. They don’t know what to do, so they call up Tracy, who’s off having a spot of recreation after cracking the Case of the Circus That Needed Squinting At. And Tracy’s brilliant, crime-stopping textbook tip is send in the area patrol, to which the dispatcher (is Lieutenant Teevo still around?) objects.

I have to conclude the dispatcher was upset that Tracy wasn’t ordering the immediate atom-bombing of Symphony Hall, and maybe all of music just to be sure.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

#48 Josh, sir, you lend credence again to the concept of beautiful but stupid. For all of your hirsute scrumptiousness, the year 1980 was the final year of the 70s. To argue otherwise is to say that placing a purity ring on a Jonas brother will keep him from bad thoughts.
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

FOOB – So why isn’t Connie all over Phil like the last time he visited the Taj Mahal of Ontario?

I thought she had a bottle of Scotch, ~~a big box of Magnums~~, and a (ooooh!) bathrobe for Jazzmaster.
Marthas Rolling Pin
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Dingo etc etc @53, do I hear the strains of a song from “Hair”? Show tunes! On Josh’s blog! Everyone will be talking about you!
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

GT: The whole strip’s unfocused. She fits right in.

Luann ‘90: Nancy DeG: the warning signs were there.

MT: Digging the hole deeper, aren’t we, Trail?

Popeye: “ARF! ARF! Okay, now do ‘Keep On Truckin’!”

RMMD: Ah, family!

Zippy: A comic with a cheap pun for a punchline. Et tu, Griffy?

H&J: Let’s add basketball player to Brad DeGroot’s resume, these two strips gotta keep up.
BraveSrRob
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

I’d like to thank that coloring book for pointing out that Race Bannon and Mark Trail are long lost brothers.
TheDiva
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

All-purpose holiday greetings to you, Josh! See you in the–tens? Onesies? Tweens? Whatever.

C’shaft: Annoyed that his daughter is happy about the holidays (or just by the fact that she’s happy in general), Cranky attempts to pull her from the ladder so they can have a proper Christmas in the emergency room.

FW: It’s just not Christmas until Les reminds everyone that the love of his life is dead, dead! Just as we all will die eventually, frail mortal clay that we are!

MW: I’ve made polenta on Christmas, but I’d never considered making it a main course. Or indeed, the only course.
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Sam Driver and Mark Trail: the new Butch and Sundance? “Driver Trail”? Sadly, that works.
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

I would argue that a decade is just ten years, beginning/ending with whatever number you want. So 2000-2009 is a decade, as is 2001-2010…. and 1995-2004. Just sayin.
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

#62 (me): Or “Trail Driver”.
Amateur
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

MW: Nice segue. “And speaking of fathers, here we have one who just rejected his motherless long-lost son . . .”
Calico
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#41 – “Common Sulphur” –
What happens after eating Xmas dinner at Mary Worth’s place.

I’m not sure that can be colored in, though.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Holy buckets, it looks like 9CL got altogether dropped from the Chron’s lineup. I guess the “but the Nazis were so goshdarn handsome!” bit doesn’t go over too well in Texas. I’d almost kind of care, if I still followed 9CL. It’s just too bad that they drop strips for controversial material and not, you know, for being staggeringly unfunny.

A3G – So that’s one actual patient. Which officially makes Dr. Papagoras a more experienced practitioner than Rex Morgan.

BrS – I don’t know to what extent today’s Brenda Starr represents the changing face of newspaper journalism, but I want it to be true.

Crankshaft – A Crankshaft that’s…sweet? What parallel universe did I wake up in this morning?

DT – Wow. Tess in panel three is the first convincingly human character I’ve ever seen in Dick Tracy.

FW – “Did I mention your mother? She’s dead, you know. Died of cancer. Just died, like that! Poof! Gone! But with all the hospitals and gradual systemic breakdown first. That was sad. Did I mention she’s dead?”

GT – Hey, it’s Tommie!

JP – And here goes Judge Parker, touching on a real issue that could lend some real sympathy to its guest characters…if we hadn’t already seen that it’s just a convenient excuse for them to muscle the local law enforcement into ignoring their assault and battery. Nicely played, Wilson.

Lio – I love this strip.

MT – Wow. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t actually expecting this. For one brief moment, I really thought Mark Trail was going to take a relatively sane turn of events. Merry Christmas to us, I guess!

MW – Holy mother of God, are Dr. Jeff’s eyes ever bugged the hell out. They’re practically ready to pop out of their sockets. Normally I wouldn’t think adding alcohol to the mix after ingesting drugs would be a good idea, but he’s so hopped up he’s clearly in need of a depressant of some kind. Meanwhile, yum! Mashed mash, with a side of delicious mash!

MC – Ooh, point goes to Bridget.

PBS – Good one. But sadly, the truth is nothing so interesting.

Phantom – Hooo! When did we wind up on the S.S. Baretto?

RMMD – And the Morgans are in their element: angry condescention against those who inconvenience them.

SM – So between this guy and Simon Krandis, I guess the lesson in the Spider-Man comic strip is that spiders > guns.
UncleJeff
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

48 Huzzah, Josh!
Three cheers and a tiger for fighting pedantry.
The end of the decade happens when the majority of the media says it’s ended!
Out with the Oughts! In with the Tens! The One-Zeros? The Decade After Millenia?
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

On decades: I was going to 2nd Josh’s point and get all defensive about it, but I think wossname makes a great point. Win/win/win (the 3rd win for anyone starting the decade at any year they choose. Plus, I wanted it to be an “Office” reference).
Chip Whittle
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Life advice from Momma: Remember, given the choice between sending a mass-produced and mass-marketed sentimentality worn down to a shapeless harmless blob, and taking the time and energy and effort to create a personal token bespeaking the connection to someone you love, send the shapeless blob every time. Although since it’s to be sent to Momma, involving a shapeless blob is a personal connection.
Stij
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Is…is that seriously a prog rock concept album based off the comics we snark here?

Commodorejohn, I think I love you.
UncleJeff
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail stars in “Rambo 5: First Blood 2″.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

(Also webcomically speaking, the UPS guy just brought me the first volume of Gunnerkrigg Court, which I’m giving as a Christmas present, and the book is really nicely made. I’m tickled.)
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

#68 (UncleJeff): Actually, I think it’s called the Teens. Of course, that would mean the decade really begins at 2013 (right after “the End of the World”) and is only 7 years long, leaving 2010-12 as the years without a decade!

It would be just like an adolescent decade to do that![/Scott & Borgman]
hogenmogen
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

I love the juxtaposition of having a gormet meal and everyone toasting Dr. Jeff for being such a caring dad. Next panel, homely Wilbur stares at a pot of vague mush and can’t even bring himself to tell his daughter about abandoning his other child for decades. But at least Wilbur isn’t getting high.
Mibbitmaker
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

#15 (Little Guy): re: MT:

A Trail Trial?
hogenmogen
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

I hate to be the wonk, but the new decade begins 01/01/2011.
Anonamuse
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail:

The Fists o’ Justice always “takes them out,” too.
Ellie
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Mark has no penis.Seriously, there is just no bulge there. Even Rusty is staring at Mark’s flat crotch.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

MT: Santa likes me! Santa likes me!

What’s most impressive is that Mark is either a surprisingly tiny guy (like, you know, Keifer Sutherland) or he’s not within striking distance of Sheriff McGullible. And yet, the sheer force of his fisty righteousness is enough to send the man’s accoutrement flying in all directions.

(I suspect, incidentally, that Mark’s forgotten all about Rusty—he’s just not going to let anyone, not even the law, cage him in—not our free-rangin’, nature-lovin’, law-punchin’ Mark!)
gleeb
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

48 (Josh, himself): I though the defining feature of the 70s was wide-wale corduroy.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

MW: Geez, when Adrian makes grits, she makes grits.

And what in the name of salmon squares has happened to Defective Scott’s head? Even in a strip whose SOP is disproportion, it seems strangely downsized.

(I’m relieved to note, though, that no one’s allowing Jeff to have any kind of sharp utensils, nor anything else to drink.)

FC: And after Dec. 24, you’re going to be really bad? Malapropisms, annoying questions, and jabbering like monkeys: let the reign of terror begin.

MG&G: Ha ha! Homeless people are funny!

Curtis: Maybe it’s my headache talking, but I loathe that child. Diane, give us all an early Christmas present, and smother the little prick with a pillow. Now.

JP: Putting aside the question of whether celebrities have a valid complaint after they’ve commodified their own images, I’d like to praise Wilson for sticking up, yet again, for that persecuted, downtrodden group: gorgeous rich people. Someone’s gotta do it!
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Special thanks to One-eyed Wolfdog @84 (12/22, 4:54 pm) for the valuable tip that lets me see all my Chronicle comics in one page. Yay! This one can’t possibly backfire horribly on me!

A3G – I momentarily confused Bobbie with Margo. After “I hope you like poinsettias!” I was thinking she was going to go on to something like, “Because you’re going to have bracts working their way out of your orifices for weeks, starting in ten seconds.”

AD – I’d wonder how Christ died for the sins of the cavemen, but right now I’m busy wondering how many turtles died for their mailboxes.

Bizarro – No capes, darling!

Close2 – Actually, the real definitive jerk is the guy with a mistletoe belt buckle.

Dick – Disturbance at Symphony Hall? Or are they just performing a new work by Yoko Ono?

Gil – Damn it, I can’t tell if she’s dating Gil or if she’s boning Jimmy Olsen!
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

…wait, it’s gotta be Gil. Nobody bones Jimmy Olsen.

Mark – Holy crap, he can give the Fist O Justice from across the room! iNo mas! iNo Mas! You’re getting off easy, Fat Sheriff. Fear him! Fear the Telepuncher!

Mary – Continuing the ‘cooking’ theme that fits nicely with the holidays, Wilbur’s daughter is dishing up a gallon of potato paste on the stove, and Dr. Jeff is approximately five quarters baked. Seriously, what is he seeing when he looks at his loved ones? I’m guessing that to him, they’re a chorus line of dancing hamsters. From his expression, he thinks they’re kind of cute, but could turn on him if he stops smiling.

The serious lesson we should take away from this is that doctors have far too much access to the good drugs, and should learn to share.

Rex – Say, June, you’re phaser’s set to “stunning” today! Mind if I try to find your communicator? Rrrrowr!

Ziggy – I think Ziggy’s pulling a fast one on us. I think instead of pants, the lines around his ankles just mean he’s started wearing shoes. Advantage: Ziggy!
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Farley’s Revenge @yy169 – Mark’s fists are like rat teeth. If rats don’t gnaw pretty much all the time, their teeth will grow through their brains. If Mark doesn’t punch every few weeks, his hands will become something like a couple quarts of bone and gristle. The same thing holds true in Dick Tracy, where the characters obviously punch each other way the hell too much.

Martha’s Rolling Pin @58 – Kama Sutra, everyone!

hogenmogen @77 – A new decade begins every moment. Labeled decades begin according to the rules by which they are defined. We are now into the decade of Muffaroo. Before you do anything, ask yourself “How will this affect Muffaroo?” (and a tip of the Hatlo hat to Al F of Minnesota!)

Josh – Merry Christmas, Josh! Merry Christmas, Bum Boat! Merry Christmas, you old jail cell! Merry Christmas, circus! Merry Christmas, prison camp! Merry Christmas, whatever the thing in Close to Home is supposed to be! Merry Christmas, claustrophobic, agoraphobic apartment!

I mean, in a couple of days.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

y30 gleeb: I was going to resist ranting about Candorville yet again, but: errrghhhhh. It’s not a good story, it’s hideously offensive, and it has no redeeming humor value. I’ll add this to my Christmas list: STFU, Bell.

44 Dingo: Petite? Check. Woman? Check. Swooning over Pastis’ naughty bits? Double check. But Oregon? Why do I keep getting relocated across the country? (I mean, not that I’d mind living in Oregon….)

….wait—what’s that at 22, Brick Bradford? Liquor cabinet? Chocolate? I believe that you’ve just said the magic words!
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Oh, and Happy Kwanzaa, Flyspeck Island!
gkl
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

GT: Commit, Cassie! No more dabbling in small forward for you!

MW: I know this probably isn’t actually the case, but this juxtaposition of panels makes it seem like Wilbur and Dawn are her poor little oppressed servants, forced to eat gruel in her kitchen in between scrubbing down the stone corridors of Mary’s manor… or her heart.

MT: Mark punched a guy without facial hair? My face just broke out in sympathy hives. I suppose wearing a fish as a necktie will have to count as his Indicator of Ominousness.
Old School Allie Cat
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

You know, we’ve been kind of busy at work these past few months, and I haven’t gotten to post much.

But if there really is a Santa, the unseen last panel of A3G features Dr. P saying that yes, he really does like poinsettias, and then Bobbie saying, “That’s what I thought!” and cold-cocking him a la Mark Trail.

I’ve been very, very good Santa.
kentuckienne
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

“America — where a toxic, foul-smelling element can take the shape of a butterfly and fly free! No, Rusty — don’t let it land on you!”
MaryAnnTheRest
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Oh, Josh. I missed the other thread but I had to hop in to say that “plot-device-seeking projectiles” made my day. I choked on my coffee and I bow to your genius. Now every time I write a story, I’ll be looking for plot device seeking projectiles.

And in honor of the Simpsons, I vote this decade should be known as the “dickedys.”

Merry Christmas everyone! I’ll try to stop in for a drink and some chocolate. And I’d appreciate it if someone could add to the letter to Santa “please send Hagar back to the actual Dark Ages.”
LP2004
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

#88 gkl – I believe that according to the official Mark Trail Rules Of Engagement, sideburns may be counted as facial hair in emergency situations. Mark not having punched anyone out in the past week or so consititutes such an emergency, as I’m sure you’ll agree.
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

67 commodorejohn re Brenda – Actually, I don’t think The Kids are taking over at newspapers as seen in today’s Brenda – I think they’re in charge at the businesses that are putting the newspapers out of business. And the ones I see are not all scruffy and tattooey as seen in Brenda, they’re more preppy. Scruffy and tattooey is probably Brenda’s flashback to when we were The Kids.

btw I am immensely enjoying your “gocomics without the gocomics” tool – thank you again. And I will DL/listen to your masterpiece when I get home.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Yes, we all need a Curtis Kwanzaa….

Haul out the crazy;
Start the madness before Barry whines again.
Bring out the critters,
I may be rushing things, but get to Africa now.
For we need a Curtis Kwanzaa
Right this very second,
People become cheetahs,
Serpents speak, I reckon .
Yes, we need a Curtis Kwanzaa
Right this very second.
Logic, reason—have no place here,
Batshit crazy? Show your face here!
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Say, June, you’re phaser’s set to “stunning” today! Mind if I try to find your communicator? Rrrrowr!

Uh… “your” phaser. Dam’ne it.
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

82 bourbon babe – We can’t really tell whether Jeff has any sharp objects, drinks, drug paraphernalia, or other people’s naughty parts in his hands, because his hands are hidden under the misshapen table.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Here I am still snarking today’s comics, like the slacker I am.

MT: This makes me distinctly uneasy. The sheriff’s facial hair is limited to the shortest of sideburns. I have burns something like that myself. Am I a bad man, deserving of a right fist of justice myself? It’s something to think about.

A3G: If Bobbie elevates to full-on Alex Forrest crazy stalkerdom, and Professor Papagoras responds with that weak frozen grin of his, Apartment 3 G will have ascended to new heights of awesomeness.

H&L: Will somebody please take responsibilty and call Child Services on these monsters?

Popeye: Now they’ve turned into Scrubbing Bubbles. Maybe they can conquer Popeye by cleaning his bathroom.

MC: Oh Norm. “Thin ice” doesn’t even begin to describe what you’re skating on.

GT: That sure looks a hell of a lot like Mark in the last panel. Apparently he’s going to help Mimi get Cassie to step up her game by pressuring the girl for sex. A counterintuitive strategy, to be sure…

DT: World’s most masterful maestro is betrayed by rock-loving son. A story that would have been clueless if published 40 years ago grinds on.

SFx: 6) Porcupines are cold-eyed killers who will terrorize your entire neighborhood. True!

FT: The elf was forced to do things against her nature, and now she’s having her memory erased? Fast Track is turning into Dollhouse, except not good and it will still be around after January.

BB: Guess the general’s hearing isn’t too keen either.

9CL: Kinda funny today. The chron seems to have axed it, though.

6C: Do you have any idea how long the gingerbread man had to look before he found a psychiatrist with a gluten allergy?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

96 wossname: Quite true. But the table in front of him is safely empty.

(As for whose naughty bits he might be holding: Given the distance to anyone else and the look on his face, my money’s on his own.)
Matilda
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

Hi- I am a “first time commenter”. I love,love,love this site. I had to respond to the Monterey- Dennis the Menace pictures. I was born and raised there and that park used to be CRAZY dangerous. Hank Ketchum funded the updated maternity ward at our hospital and when my children were born they received Birth Certificates from the hospital decorated in full Dennis the Menace regalia! Also, about 12 years ago we had a huge raccoon problem and they were carrying diseases (surprise!) A child who was playing in the sand contracted it and almost died. He is permanently mentally disabled. The town went nuts and people actually shot them in the streets. Anyway, sorry for the rambling, just wanted to add my two cents! Thanks!
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

# 16 Little Guy — You’re so right! Yay! It’s been too long!
Bryan
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

It’s odd, but 9CL is showing up in my personalized Chron page, but not on their comics page.

My Cage: Well, I think we can see why Norm might not become a successful screenwriter. By the way, I showed my girlfriend “It’s A Wonderful Life” last night and she enjoyed it immensely. I got her into Capra last fall with “It Happened One Night.” Next stop, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”
www.dailyridiculous.com
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

“The raccoon shit sign was just bonus.”

Hysterical.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

I know that poutine is so last month (out: poutine; in: sandwiches?), but I’m just catching up on a bunch of New Yorkers, and I came across a Calvin Trillin essay all about the stuff. What’s even better: It’s from the Thanksgiving issue—right at the height of the CC poutine craze!

99 Matilda: Welcome! (Shooting raccoons in the street? Has the world gone mad?)
www.dailyridiculous.com
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

“The raccoon shit was just a bonus.”

Yes it is.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

GA — So Dr. Managan performs some mysterious procedure on Kitty that apparently takes no longer than a brief conversation between Rufus and Santy Claus, brings out Kitty and a bottle of pills, and collects $500. Thank you, Dr. Managan, for making me appreciate my own tiny-town vet even more.
Johnny Q
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Someone color Mark’s hair orange!
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

103 bourbon babe:
So last month: poutine
So last week: mayonnaise sandwiches
Trendy: mush

105 Poteet: At one point they said Kitty was having an operation to fix her slime flu. I’ve been assuming Rufus and Santa Claus sat there chatting for days and days, even in comics time. But I must admit I found the Kitty and Rufus saga heartwarming once again today.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

# 99 Matilda — Welcome! Drop by and comment any time!

As an unofficial RNG of CC (Ranting Nature Geek), I am sorry to hear about the Monterey raccoon woes. I’ve been told that they used to be kept in check by large predators, but now they have little to fear in many parts of the country, and are starting to run for office in some small Midwestern towns.

B. Racoon, I hope I did not just give offense. For what it’s worth, local raccoons roam and enjoy my land, and especially enjoy depositing their poop on large rocks where I might otherwise like to sit.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

# 107 wossname — Actually, I am *sniff* very happy that Kitty will be okay. I am also hoping that Boogie Woogie will either become a permanent cast member or will be provided with a more promising sendoff than being thrown off a wagon like last time.

And I suppose Slime Flu pills might be very, very expensive, thereby justifying the high bill. Oh well. Santa probably runs up high tabs wherever he goes, what with being generous and all.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

107 wossname: It’s so hard to keep track! That’s why it’s best to avoid trends and stick to the fundamentals: liquor and chocolate. You can’t go wrong with the classics!
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

# 101 Bryan — Same for my Chron page. Maybe it’s a holiday miracle.
AMC
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

RMMD – Look at the hate in their eyes. Rex and June are so mad at Brook, I’m afraid they may eat her.
gnome de blog
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Not only was there no year Zero, there was no year One either. Nor were there years 2-531. The current Anno Domini dating system was invented in the 6th Century by a monk named Dionysus Exiguus. His table started on August 29, 532.

I say “nuts” to the purists! Usage determines grammar, not the other way around. Common usage dictates that decades (and centuries and millennia) begin with 0 and end with 9. It’s a matter of convention, not arithmetic.

Besides, what better way for a decade to end than with Mark Trail on the lam after committing multiple felonies?

End of rant. Thank you, thankyouverymuch.
Bingo
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Rex (That’s Doctor to You) Morgan was not only heartbroken, he was supremely annoyed. Just when he had been having the most amazing sexual dream about Dingo, that irritating, uptight wife of his, June, had awakened him with some blather or other concerning their little “problem,” Brooke.

Frankly, Rex couldn’t care less about that whole situation, for his heart and mind were on other things, far, far removed from such mundane domestic trivia. So Brook had broken into their house; so she had messed it up; so she was now apparently referring to June as uptight and old. So what, thought Rex. As far as he was concerned, Brook was definitely right about the bitchy part. On the other hand, there was no way one could consider June old, but man, Rex felt as though he’d been married to the woman for a million years.

Thank goodness she’d left him alone after ruining his beauty sleep just to whine and complain about her cousin. For Dingo (oh, God, Dingo) was still on his mind and, um, other parts as well. Still half-asleep and with an erection so hard June would’ve torn her negligee off and jumped hopefully into bed had she seen it, Rex began to masturbate fast and furiously, memories of his beloved and their brief tryst fueling his excitement. Climaxing in moments with a wild groan of passion escaping his sculpted lips, Rex lay afterward among the rumpled sheets, contemplating the sudden turn his life had taken.

He just couldn’t forget that man, that beautiful man, who had carried him to the heights of ecstasy, if only for one brief, unbelievable night. He realized now, however, that he’d been nothing more than a pleasant diversion, a boy toy, for Dingo. Any thoughts Rex might have had concerning a future with him would never come to fruition, he knew, achingly sad as that truth made him feel.

June would be leaving soon; of that he was aware, for she had told him of her new lover that last evening on the cruise ship. Actually, Rex had been relieved. It was true that the marriage wasn’t working out for either of them, and it was time to end it. To hell with what his patients and the residents of their small town whispered behind his back. He just didn’t care anymore, for his world had been turned upside down.

Ever the pragmatist, Rex accepted that he and Dingo were perhaps not meant to be, although he would never entirely give up hope. He was a man, though, with the needs of a man, and a sudden thought entered his mind.

June had already indicated that she would prefer to leave Sarah with Rex following their divorce. At first this had caused him some consternation, for he had never before had a hand in caring for their adopted daughter; June had done it all. How was he supposed to learn how to be a single dad?

Mark! Mark Trail! That was the answer! The man was gorgeous, oh-so-masculine, and best of all, gay! In addition, he and his wife (in name only — Rex was sure of that, having lived through the same thing) had taken in Rusty, Sarah’s biological brother. Oh! He, Mark, Sarah and Rusty could be one little happy family! He would gladly move to Lost Forest; perhaps he could even continue to practice (well, okay, pretend he knew what he was doing) medicine, though he’d heard there was already some guy there people called “Doc.”

Content with his decision, Rex drifted off to sleep once more. Of course, if Dingo ever decided he wanted him, Rex would be there in a heartbeat. In the meantime, however…

Rex fell asleep with a dull pain remaining in his heart, but a peaceful smile on his lips.
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

CHENNUX IS BACK! [weeps with joy...]

Oh Mary, it really IS a wonderful life! [snif.]
Cafangdra
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Nice album Commodore John! I was playing it when my husband called. He asked what I was listening to and I said it was a concept album by a Comics Curmudgeon reader about…comics…and the track I was listening to then was about Mary Worth.

He said he could tell it was about Mary Worth, and assumed the scream he overheard was supposed to be Aldo. <3
odinthor
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

DtM. —

Those are the things I really want, but I like surprises too!

Remember this phrase when you start dating, Dennis.

MW. — Um, somebody get the car keys from Dr. Jeff, please.

H&J. —

You grow old because you stop playing!

Cuz, y’see, playing raises your blood pressure and stress levels, so you’re more likely to die of a heart attack ‘n’ stuff if you play.

Love Is . . . — . . . Giving her the tip before . . .
Fashion Police
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

We are pleased that Detective Hewlett chose the traditional electric-blue suit for the holiday festivities. We are less pleased to see Dr. Adrian Cory and Mrs. Worth in mauve and salmon, but one can only expect so much. Dr. Jeff Cory is beneath comment.
Fashion Police
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

We are a bit put out that 9 Chickweed Lane has disappeared from the Chronicle comics page, but only because Mr. McEldowney draws such lovely dresses.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

#101 Bryan.

Introduce your girl to “Arsenic and Old Lace” too, if you get a chance. It’s a lot of fun to see that Capra touch applied to outright gallows humor.
Écureuil Écumant
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#107 wossname says:
“So last month: poutine
So last week: mayonnaise sandwiches
Trendy: mush”

Ah, but canned tamales are always in style.

Especially when the Common Sulphur starts flying.
Vince M
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

42. Miss Othmar – re. Brewster Rockit, I love the phrase “Ha ha – Meat Nose!”. I need to use it in conversation somewhere.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

#120 Artist formerly known as Ben – I’ll second that. Hilarious movie, and a terrific cast, to boot.
ElkMeadow
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

So Mrs. Morgan, like Mrs. Patterson, FOOBishly collects her coins in a jar. That’s the doctor’s family household account? From whence the electric bill, etc. is paid? A hundred dollars that pays for EVERYTHING? Sheesh, no wonder I’m broke. Kudos to the kid for not going over budget and hocking the big-screen television.

At least Elly Patterson claims the jar money for her own, that she “earned” it.

And on a more personal note:

Dear Santa,

Please bring me the bra or whatever is it that keeps the boobs afloat in RMMD. And the toned arms while you’re at it.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

I’m sick, and I’m crabby, and NOW I’m craving canned tamales, too. Damn you, Écureuil Écumant, and your canned-tamale reminders!

120 AFKA Ben and 123 commodorejohn: Yes—plus it has Cary Grant—who may be #1 on my “dead but sexy” list.
Professor Fate
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

FW: And I say it again when I take it down every year – because my wife is dead you know.

My Cage – I have to say I never quite saw George’s life as so wonderful – a spnisterish wife, whining kids – a dull dead end job in a dull dead end town – a lifetime of fate (and within the context of the movie it’s more than just chance -the almighty hates him for some reason) poking him in the eyes – rendering him stuipd (who entrusts the drinking uncle with anything important?) And then god sends an angel to come down and tell him to shut up & stop complaining because it could have been worse?
I’m straight to the darkside after that.
Saluki
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Is it just me or is Garfield slightly obscene today?
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Bart @49 – I was figuring he’d drive the patrol car recklessly straight over that six-inch precipice, like something out of the Dukes of Hazzard. But I missed a more important plot point: he doesn’t even know where he is relative to that beach, because he was brought to the police station unconscious. He could be miles away in either direction.
Digger
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

That girl in the Mark Trail coloring book must be Rusty’s sister Perky, who tragically lost her life after eating raccoon feces at an amusement park.
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

I’m with Josh on the ‘end of the decade’ story. The decades, you see, aren’t numbered the way centuries are. You can define a decade or a century based on any sequence of ten or a hundred years, and we have a long tradition of grouping our years in tens according to the second-to-last digit. But we have two traditions for centuries: one, like the decades is based on the digits, e.g. “the nineteen hundreds.” The 1900s did indeed end with 1999. More formally we number the centuries and then there is no choice but for those to start with the years ending in 01.

In the company of people who can’t understand that, I discovered I can keep them from arguing without compromising my integrity by referring to 1999 as “the penultimate year of the twentieth century.” The overlap between people who know what penultimate means and people who don’t know how centuries work is almost nil.

I’ve never seen anyone argue about the beginning of a decade before this year. I think it must be because there are so many people alive now who weren’t around for the ends of the 70s and 80s, so are trying to draw an analogy with the end of the second millennium, which they did witness.

The difference is that one is counted and the other is named after the numbers.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

128 Aviatrix: You’re right about Mark’s location—but why muddy the waters with logic at this point?
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

128 Aviatrix and 131 bourbon babe – I was also worried about the fact that Mark wouldn’t know how to get back to the beach. But then I realized that he is an outdoorsman in tune with Nature, and he will know instinctively which way to the ocean. Either that, or The Pelicans will appear to lead him to where Rusty (glug glug glug) is.

Here’s what I’ve been wondering: After he rescues Rusty at the last minute (glug – sputter – Hi Mark! I wondered if you were coming back! Yip yip! [that was Sassy]) and we see a heartwarming reunion on Christmas – will Mark ever go back and pay for the window? or face justice for his sheriff-punching escapade? Or will all that stuff just vanish in the ether as we move on to our next adventure?

bourbon babe, sorry you’re sick. You sound like me at this time last week.
Dora Standpipe
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

I have that same Mark Trail coloring book and even posted about it this past summer.
Baron Bizarre
December 23rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

112 AMC: I could do without Rex, but a storyline involving June eating Brooke, on the other hand…
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

#120AfkaB: Arsenic and Old Lace is one of my all-time favorite movies…and it had Cary Grant, too.

Like It Happened One Night, too.

ICapra made great movies, but I simply don’t like It’s a Wonderful Life. The first time I watched that movie, I wanted to impart my own Right Fist O’Justice on George. That sentiment didn’t change the next couple times I watched the movie. I still feel that way and now I don’t watch the movie.

Yay! Galactic Emperor Chennux has returned from his long Star Trek-like journey to parts unknown. Who knew all it took to get him back was making an album based on comic strips?
mojo
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

It struck me this morning that poor Dr. Jeff in Mary Worth is about as hapless a creature as Good Ol’ Charlie Brown used to be. I’m wagering all this pseudo-happiness is just leading up to them opening their gifts on Christmas day. Mary will exclaim, “Oh, pearls, how beautiful!” Adrian will chirp, “I finally got my GED!” Scott will say, “Gee, thanks for the oxycontin, Dr. C!” And poor crestfallen Dr. Jeff will say, “I got a rock.”
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

Yes—plus it has Cary Grant—who may be #1 on my “dead but sexy” list.

Are you sure you’re not me, bourbonbabe? I’ll watch any movie that had Cary Grant in it. He was HOT in a tuxedoed debonair manner. Grant and Grace Kelly in Hitchcock’s To Catch a Thief-smoking!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

137 Farley’s Revenge: No kidding—he had it all: suave and sophisticated, but also wide-rangingly funny. And yes, could rock a tux like nobody’s business. Total swoon.
Écureuil Écumant
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

MT: Don’t forget, Mark, you still need a jack. I imagine he’ll figure he can just use the jack in the Shurf’s patrol car (since the jack he wanted to steal was a bottle jack, suggesting he flunked auto mech).

He’ll also probably wreck the patrol car on the way back to Lost Beach, never having driven anything hotter than his ‘64 Rambler.
Bart
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

#128 Aviatrix OK, except that Mark is an avid outdoorsman and nature writer. He has an exceptional sense of direction. Why, I’d imagine that even if Mark had be trussed up by aliens and saucered off to Alpha Centauri that he would have headed unerringly to Rusty’s rescue in his “borrowed” space/sheriff/ship/car thingy.
Little Guy
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

MT: Waco and Ruby Ridge aside, the Blaze O’ Glory I want to see with Mark is the same as the Blues Brothers at the Cook County Assessors Office, ringed by thousands from various levels of police and paramilitary personnel, holding noisily-cocked guns and rifles, all aimed at Mark’s head.

And, yes, they all would be defeated by the Fists O’ Justice.
Tiako
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Dennis looks like he’s throwing a Heil Hitler salute in the first picture. Nazis are pretty menacing.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

MY CAGE — I like certain scenes in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, but I prefer to avoid several others. I understand why the movie is critically acclaimed, but it’s easier for me to just not watch it.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

MW — I looked again just now, and holy moly, Dr. Jeff still looks utterly bizarre. I thought when I saw him last night that maybe I’d stayed up too late. I may have to take back what I said about Lebanese hash. Dr. J looks as if he’s ripped on some unearthly substance that could only be provided by Chennux Himself.
Niall
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

Some very random and now OLD snark comments…

Mollificent: as one who has attempted the fiddle, I am also amused by the name dichotomy, as it took a while to get a straight answer as to the difference. Like it was important or something.

Mr. O’Malley: “Agate you where I want you”?? I either want to hit you or kiss you.

Sequitur: I had to make some pretty twisted contortions to not explode in laughter at “Kissimmee Astros” while at work…

bourbon babe: this blog does have an influence, but not that big an effect, I’d say. If we can get Josh’s name a few times in a real strip, and mention of the AJGLU3000 several times, that’s an influence, but without actually changing strips to stop banal and easily-inappropriable subtexts (i.e. effect). At least it’s the way I’m seeing things.

On French cussing: I’m woefully out of date on France cusses, and even Québec ones; but a lot is on intent. One can use the same words in a playful manner and not feel it’s insulting – then turn and shout it at some miscreant and hoo boy, you’ve just asked for a beating. “Trou d’cul” can still sting enough, despite being a card game name (probably still popular in CEGEP). In fact, being “fucké” is more a condition and self-referential and almost acceptable these days, a most interesting case of co-opting.

Bourbon babe: “Comment of the week, but with glitter” is, dare I say it.. scintillating wit.

Mollificent: much thoughts on your car’ being stolen – that’s a rotten things to have happen. :(

Odinthor, props to your epic on Gil Thorp’s frozen children.

Gah, so many posts to go through!
Vince M
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Speaking for myself, I find Cary Grant to be one of those likeable guys that other guys just can’t envy – the ladies are crazy for him, and we high-five him in our minds.
Miss Othmar
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

#83 Muffaroo: Nice Incredibles reference you snuck in there. The subtle references are often the best ones….

#122 Vince M: “Ha ha – Meat Nose!” must be what Gran Burber said to the lieutenant when she pinched his schnozz….

#145 Niall: Update — Mollificent got her car back!
nil zed
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

we’re going to Monterray in the spring. I was going to have to google around to find out what there is to do there, but Kattack has saved me so much time and effort.

Plus, we will be taking a fairly menacing almost 3 year old boy with us. Perhaps he can give Dennis some lessons.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

145 Niall: Sorry, I reject that line of thinking. In a vast and often oblivious universe, this blog, this beacon of intellect and wit and righteous snark, has an effect, perhaps small, but like the tiny stream, it can gradually erode the apparently solidified mountains of mediocrity that surround us.

(Note that last night, we fervently wished for sheriff-punching, and today: the Fists o’ Law-Breaking make their glorious appearance! Coincidence, or evidence of our cumulative might?)

Then again, that might just be the cold medicine talking….
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

I have no idea which of you is “Bingo” but I… I feel almost naked right now! Such a story.

I’m surprised no one has posted the answers to the Jumble yet.
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Poteet: Count me in with the Wonderful Life haters. I especially hate the scene where Mary is an “Old Maid” who works at the Library! Meaningful,intelligent employment for a woman instead of staying home with four kids – OMG – a fate worse than death! And the painted on troll-like eyebrows only add insult to injury. Not only is Mary pitifully single, but she DOES NOT TWEEZE!

And one critic pointed out that if George Bailey had never been born, he would never have taken his little brother Harry on an age-inappropriate outing to the ice pond and would have thus lived, so no, not everyone on that transport would have died. Hello.

To be fair, the message that our lives are made rich by our friendships is a good one. And, “Hit me, I’m giving out wings…” is surely one of the best movie lines ever.

Long Live Pottersville!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

150 Dingo: I have it, but I thought that it was a faux pas to post Jumble answers—wasn’t there something of a kerfuffle over that?
GalacticEmperorChennux®™©
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! VOMIT YOUR EGGNOG LIKE AN EAST GERMAN WATERCANNON! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

TO THE ONE CALLED #144 POTEET! OH, DOCTOR JEFF WISHES HE WERE WASTED ON ZYNEXIAN BALOOT PUSTULES, AN INTOXICANT THAT COMBINES THE THROBBING BUZZ OF SEMUTA WITH THE THOROUGHNESS ON A GOOD COLON CLEANSING!

INSTEAD, HE’S GETTING A CONTACT HIGH FROM THE 50 YEAR OLD SINGLE MALT TANG BEING SWILLED IN THOSE GLASSES! ANY EARTHER CAN TELL YOU THAT DOCTOR JEFF LIKES OLD ‘TANG! THAT WHY HE HANGS OUT WITH MARY! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

bourbon babe, unbuckled, I distinctly remember you telling us that you taught at the University of Oregon. Where are you if not there?

By this time of the day, I think you could answer the Jumble without enraging the minions.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

#138 bourbon babe, unbuckled – Word. And actually, my favorite movie of his is one of his few funny roles: Father Goose, which is more or less “The African Queen, but enjoyable.”
Jym the Wildlife Man
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

=v= MT: “One little spark can be dangerous” is Mark’s constant reminder to Cherry whenever a mere glimmer of lust shines in her eyes.
Jym the Wildlife Man
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

… which is also why the little blonde girl has mysteriously disappeared.
John C Fremont
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

#99 – Hi, Matilda!

I had a fairly hefty rant relating to the whole decade issue, but my computer ate it when I hit post, which left me even angrier than before I began my rant. To keep my blood pressure from spiking again, I’ll leave out the rant and just get to the last part ’cause it needs to be said;

People. You can’t live with ‘em, and it’s illegal to shoot ‘em. Seriously, why can’t people be more like kitties and puppies? Okay, and raccoons. But don’t eat their poop. And watch out for snakes!

Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?
Écureuil Écumant
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

@158 John C Fremont: Sarsaparilla? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Oh well, we used to call it (phonetic spelling) “Meshmackon” in the sixties. You know, like the Mexican state.
Fashion Police
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™:
Sorry. One does not wear pantaloons. Neither should Ziggy.

bourbon babe, unbuckled and Farley’s Revenge:
Mr. Grant did indeed “rock” the tuxedo, although we contend that nearly everyone – women included – looks smashing in one if it’s properly tailored (aside to Ms. unbuckled: vanity heels – black, patent leather, higher the better – are a must with a tuxedo, should you care to indulge).

However, if you had wished to actually engage Mr. Grant’s affections, it would have helped to look at least a little like Randolph Scott.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

154 Dingo: At some point, someone else put me at the University of Oregon (see, I’ve been repeatedly relocated!). But I’m in Arlington, VA—teach at American University in DC

As for the Jumble—okay, I’ll brave the potential wrath of the masses:
sodomy
fellatio
Margo Magee
Tarzana
nipple

And, the big payoff: PANTALOONS!

(Very clever! But you know that “nipple” was a real Jumble answer the other day, right? I know this because due to Sequitur, I’m now addicted to that online timed Jumble.)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

160 Fashion Police: Good point on the heels; I’d need some height, or I’d look like a little boy (okay, a kind of curvy little boy) dressed up in adult clothing.

As for Cary Grant—oh, yes, I know–but in one’s fantasy world, it doesn’t matter, right? In reality, it’s not as if I’d stand a chance with him even if he were alive, straight, horny, and sitting in the same room with me!
ladadog
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

#155: Commodore John:
Sir, Cary Grant had more than a few funny roles. In addition to Arsenic & Old Lace, and your favorite, there was Bringing up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, The Batchelor and the Bobby Soxer, Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House, The Front Page (well, I’m not sure about that last one) and more! His timing and delivery were impeccable.
As for the It’s A Wonderful Life give and take here, remember, that movie gave us Bert & Ernie.
And one of the lines from Arsenic & Old Lace that I quote from time to time in situations I feel appropriate is “No, not the Melbourne method!” , just to see if anyone recognizes it.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

#163 ladadog – I stand corrected.

(And I think you’re thinking of The Front Page’s battle-of-the-sexes adaptation, His Girl Friday, which definitely was funny. Not the best comedy ever made, but still, funny. And besides, it provided a pretty obvious inspiration for the ending of The Truth, which counts for a lot in my book.)
ladadog
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Commodore John: D’oh, of course, His Girl Friday. See what I get for not Googling first? In the meantime, I am listening to the first track of The Funnies. My cat and I are mesmerized by Mary Worth Told Me To. If the rest of the tracks are as awesome…..we are in for some good listening.
mr 12 oz can
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

heres my christmas list
for dr pappagoras lots of rice pudding and bobbies ankles around your shoulders
for dr jeff a daily prostate exam of detective scott given by you to ted escapes from jail and marrys his queenie i mean elopes
for that nature writer from rex morgan forgot his name a list of hotels becka is staying at anda way to peek through the keyhole
for BOURBAN BABE UNBUCKLED a bottle of knob creek for being a big fan of andy and top chef even though this season was a bore
i dont drink bourban but i hear that ones real good
merry christmas everyone i have a stack of comic strip books about 4 feet high to read so ill probably return jan 2 also because i hate scrolling down when theres a thousand plus posts
HAVE A FUSCO BROTHERS NEW YEAR
Dagger
December 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

Dennis Park: It appears that Dennis is holding a doll. So he’s either stolen something of Margaret’s, which could be considered slightly menacing, or he’s challenging gender roles, which isn’t menacing at all. Unless it’s actually a human child, in which case I’d consider felony kidnapping to be fairly menacing.

Mark Trail coloring book: “Of course YOU don’t, Rusty! It took me a lot of hard work to conquer that much of a modern industrial nation using giant butterflies!”
zerowolf
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

In a battle would you put money on Margo or June?
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

@wossname #24: Why, no, not at all. I wouldn’t say I was the least bit subtle about that.
And in keeping with one of the other themes of discussion, it’s also one of my birthdays that ends in a zero. So the matter of when decades and centuries end is one that’s near and dear to my heart.

Also @wossname, #35, yes, long-time K&K reader here, though I haven’t kept up the past couple of years. It’s probably worth mentioning for our fellow Mudges that it’s by the same guy who does Fast Track and Safe Havens, and to some degree shares a multiverse with them.

@bb,ub #86: Perhaps the liquor cabinet & chocolate in question are located in Oregon, and that’s why Dingo assumed you would be there.

@ElkMeadow #124, and others to various degrees: I think we need to agree on a definition of “mad money”, or at least define the differences in our definitions. June’s usage seems pretty much in line with my understanding of the term; yours doesn’t seem to. What does it mean to you?

@Aviatrix #1: I’m with you 100% there! Good catch on the possibility that they’re conflating with the end of a numbered century.

Did Josh leave Uncle Lumpy or anyone at all the keys to the blog? Looks like we’ve got some barely-more-subtle-than-usual spam at #102 & #104.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

166 Hey, thanks, mr 12 oz can! I’ll put on a green jacket and toast you and Andy and my tv boyfriend Bryan on New Years!
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf #168: No. I think I’d go with putting chocolate syrup or honey on them, rather than money.
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

@me #169: Oops, that was supposed to be “@Aviatrix #130“, of course. Oh well, the numbers will all be off by two if anyone cleans up those spams, anyway.
Alfred E. Neuman
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Doonesbury— Leon Festinger? Wow, I never expected to see his name in the comics. My doctoral dissertation was based on his cognitive dissonance theory. All I can say is, Leon Rocks!

MT— Law enforcement official or not, long sideburns call for a Fist o’ Justice.

Because Mrs. Neuman and I are hosting a week-long Sally Forth style Christmas extravaganza, I will be off the ‘net for a while. So I’d like to take this opportunity to wish all of my curmudgeonly colleagues the Merriest of Christmases.
Alfred
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

KarMann @172 – I know who I am, and thanks to whomever cleaned up the spam, too.
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Bart @140 – Excellent point. So we don’t need to worry about Mark getting lost.

Panel One
Mark runs outside with the keys saying, “I hate to assault a police officer but it is an emergency. I’m sure he’ll understand when he finds out a boy’s life is at stake.”

Panel Two
Mark is driving the car along the road, saying “I hope Rusty is alright. Fortunately I have the proportionate sense of direction of a spider and can find my way to him.”

Panel Three
Mark has parked the car on the sand and we see him standing beside it, saying, “OH NO! RUSTY!” but we can’t see what Mark sees.

Someone help me with the bizarre anticlimax.
Miss Othmar
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

The Lost Ending of “It’s A Wonderful Life. a la SNL. Mr Potter gets his comeuppance….
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

I’ve seen the Mark Trail coloring book before (wasn’t it linked to from here once? I think I remember seeing it at ranger stations long before I knew who Mark Trail was.) Anyway, it’s online. Behold!
zerowolf
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Curtis: And Santa also doesn’t come for another 24 hours.
gnome de blog
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

168 zerowolf –

an intriguing question, that. Worthy of debate.

June wins the rack-off. Also the wardrobe department. If it comes to fisticuffs, June comes out ahead if its Marquis of Queensbury rules, but she can’t hang with Margo in a street fight or an all-out war of attrition. Margo’s hungrier and has no scruples. June’s a bit too suburban to really scrap with the big girls.

Winner takes on the champ, Abbey Spencer. Abbey has a mean streak and a lot of money.
zerowolf
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

DtM: Is it my imagination or is “weed” the first thing on Dennis’s list to Santa.
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

177 me — You know I’ll be printing out the coloring book and making the ducks blue.
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

# 151 Anna — Yeah, the implication that life as a single librarian was a nightmare annoyed me also. Nor did it really make sense, because Mary was also sought-after by that “hee-haw” guy, the one who made lotsa moolah. If George had never been born, maybe Mary would have ended up spending her time deciding which diamond necklace looked best with which evening dress.
TheDiva
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

151 Anna Nimity: That particular scene with Mary is even more annoying if you compare her fate in the original short story–she does get married to someone else, but her husband turns out to be an alcoholic who, it is strongly implied, beats her and their two children (who are rather bratty in their own right). I don’t know about you, but I’d pick the library over that any day.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

177 Gold-Digging Nanny: And just in time for a last-minute Christmas gift for that favorite niece or nephew! “Here, kid, I couldn’t afford one of those fancy-schmancy Wii’s, but this will provide hours of fun, too! And if you screw up the coloring, you can just print a new page off the internet.”
wossname
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

168 zerowolf: Margo, absolutely. June is just a bitch; Margo is diabolical.

169 KarMann re mad money: My understanding, when my mother explained it many years ago, was that mad money was money that a young lady took along on a date, so if she got MAD at the young gentleman (or if he got MAD at her, which in my mom’s era would probably be because she refused a kiss on the hand), she would have some way to get home. How that fits into the Morgan family finances I have no idea.
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Mad money to me is money you keep on hand that isn’t required to pay the bills, just in case you want to go nuts and buy an adorable pair of heels with bows on them. Unless June’s canister was a kind of piggy bank where she put aside ones and twos as she felt she deserved them, it would more accurately described in my vocabulary as petty cash. Money to pay the milkman or donate to a charity drive without having to go upstairs for your purse.
Aviatrix
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

MW – If I were unfamiliar with the comic I would be wondering now whether Jeff were stoned out of his gourd or being depicted as a heavenly visitation. As neither seems to fit with the current story line, I’m just baffled. Is he extra clean?
Lolsworth
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, Icepick Jones, on getting the Christmas No. 1!
Lolsworth
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

Holy shit, Commodore John! Since I made you Vice President of FCoV I feel kind of obligated to both listen to and plug that thing.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Okay, well, the Mark Trail coloring book has been providing me, at least, with oodles of fun. Highlights:
Pg. 8: The Canadian goose with a hankering for trout fishing.
Pg. 14: A remarkable sighting in the lily-white Trailverse!
Pg. 24: Mark Trail becomes Jesus: Suffer the little children to come unto me, and I will train them to be snitches. We even have a conversion experience in that reformed dirty little litterbug.
Multiple pages: Racoons! Many many racoons!

And on page 6, evidence that today is not the first time Mark has defied the law—he’s clearly on the wrong side of that “Unauthorized Entry Prohibited” sign. (Wait, what am I saying? Mark’s fists authorize him to enter wherever he wants!)
gnome de blog
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

175 Aviatrix

Rusty is on top of the car, floating out to sea.

Hey – it makes as much sense as the rest of the story.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

Wow, this coloring book is super! And it’s even got raccoons positioned on logs to which they can easily be chained!
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

175 Aviatrix — Rusty is wedging Sassy under the body of the car, attempting to use her as a makeshift jack.
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 23rd, 2009 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

192 commodorejohn — Be sure to draw a collar on it! That’ll make it easier to chain it to a log!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

175 Aviatrix: In positioning the sheriff’s car so that he can tow his own car off Rusty, Mark has backed over those parts of Rusty not already car-crushed. (Luckily, that just includes his head and vital organs.)
bats :[
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

177. G.-D.N.: wow, that’s a great resource! But to lay some folks’ fears to rest, out here in Arizona, the kangaroo rats are more rat-sized than kangaroo-sized. Evidently Mark and Rusty are hiking through Lost Sonoran Desert…
queek
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

162: I need a cold shower now.
True Fable
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

Oh Em Gee, this is a great thread.

All hail the great Galactic Emperor Chennux! Syrup and potatoes for everyone!

Dingo! I could only figure out two of your Jumble. I don’t know if that is or isn’t a good thing, but I appreciate your effort.

Bingo! …wow. I… That’s the most interesting Rex internalization I’ve ever seen! Well, apart from Dingo’s wild rides on the subject, so to speak.

Bourban babe, unbuckled! – I howled at the Curtis Kwanzaa and sang it aloud in my apartment. Wonderful stuff.

and every time I put on my tux I do my very best to be Cary Grant smooth. It’s hard for a goatherder from Greater Metropolitan Roopville to emulate the classiest act in cinema, but Cary Grant came from humble beginnings too so who knows to what heights I might aspire? :P

Commodorejohn! I really like what you’ve done! I sat back and made up lyrics as the music played, although I can’t recall any of it now.

This is going to be a fun holiday at ‘Mudgeon Central!
Good Townspeople of Rockridge
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

160: Randolf Scott!?!
crazyjerseygirl
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

#168 Margo vs. June.
I will personally pay 75 cents and a cookie to whomever sets up a betting sheet for this.
And for the record my money is on Margo.
June is a suburban nurse and Abby is a rich girl, Margo earned her own way through life and NYC residents fear her.
She don’t put up with shit.
~Crazy
crazyjerseygirl
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

#199
(in an operatic voice)
Raaanndolff Sccccooott!
Poteet
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

# 153 G.E. Chennux — I curtsey before you, O Ruler of the Galaxies, and humbly thank you for telling us about the single malt tang, which I have no wish ever to imbibe. As Pogo used to say, oog.

Zynexian Baloot Postules, on the other hand, sound great. And now, please excuse me — I have some eggnog to spew.
Gold-Digging Nanny
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

168 zerowolf — They’re both rageaholics, and incredibly callous to the suffering of others, but there are several in-strip clues that make Margo the obvious victor:
1) I’ve never seen June resolve anything except through bitching and yelling. Margo has been depicted inflicting physical violence on someone else at least once when she savaged Joe Kelly with an umbrella.
2) June has shown weakness lately (“She called me oooooollllld! Waaaaaahhhh!”). Not a good sign for her.
3) Margo has the backstory of a legendary badass. For crying out loud, her mother has visions of the future. It’s like she’s one degree of separation from being the Hoochie Coochie Man.
4) Margo drinks the blood of virgins. (Okay, that’s not in-strip, but we all know it’s true.)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

197 queek: Oh? Are you a Cary Grant fan, too?

198 True Fable: Nonsense—you just ooze suaveness and sophistication all the time! In fact, I picture you wearing a tux whenever you post here!
KarMann
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

Trivia for the day: Randolph Scott was almost directly my namesake, and not-so-directly is anyway.
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

In my best group voice: Raaan-dooolph Scott!

(Also one of my favorite movies).

I don’t care if Grant and Scott made the sign of the two-humped camel on their cottage roof every Wednesday. Dude was hawt and funny. Some of his doubletakes in Arsenic and Old Lace have me howling every time I watch that movie.

Grant also did My Favorite Wife with Irene Dunne. There was also a movie with Doris Day in the 60’s, That Touch of Mink. Grant basically played the idea of himself in that one.
commodorejohn
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

#198 True Fable – Fun, fun! I almost considered doing lyrics, but while I’m not too bad a singer, I’m an absolutely terrible lyricist =/ The one thing I was going to do was a dramatic reading of Ginger Brittany Goes To School! ala Jeffrey Hammond-Hammond and “The Story Of The Hare Who Lost His Spectacles,” but the Rex Morgan piece just never materialized. Maybe next time…
Uncle Lumpy
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

@ mr 12 oz can (#166):

And anybody else who doesn’t like teh scrolling: if you have an RSS reader (in Outlook, on Google, or from many other sources), you can subscribe to this thread by clicking here. Comments will appear once only in your reader, and you won’t need to navigate, wait for the page to load, scroll down, etc., etc.
queek
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

204: more of a Marlene Deitrich mental visual, tbh, but Carey was indeed the suave type.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

bourbon babe, unbuckled: believe it or not, we may have had occasion to meet. When I was looking for masters programs, I checked out American University and was accepted into the MFA in Electronic Media program (or some title like that). I drove out to see the school and they shut down BECAUSE DC WAS EXPECTING ONE INCH OF SNOW. That’s not the Midwest, mind you. I got the tour and really felt it was a great school but after realizing I would spend over $100,000 to get my MFA, I chose an MA in Media Studies closer to home. In fact, I was able to pay cash for it. It just meant I didn’t have a terminal degree and would have to go on for the doctorate. Landing the corporate job I have nixed that. I make the same as an assistant professor and don’t have to deal with 18-year-olds who believe that their postings to YouTube mean they don’t have to listen to me. I just was waiting for my “That’s Dr. Asshole to you!” moment and now it will not come.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

210 Dingo: Quite the coincidence! My M.A. in Literature is from AU, actually (and I was fortunate to get a fellowship—in essence, they paid me to go there—because otherwise it would have been way too expensive). So, yeah, no terminal degree for me, either—just the satisfaction of working with affluent 18 year olds who control my reappointment through their evaluations of my teaching. (That’s mainly just crabbiness talking, actually—it’s a good school, I have great colleagues, and my students are by and large a delight.)

And the “one inch of snow oh my god it’s the end of the world” thing? Yeah—that’s DC. Imagine what it’s like with our recent 20 inches.
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

After Grant came Humphrey Bogart. He and Bacall in Key Largo…’Nuff said.

In fact, the elder offspring discovered he old B&W movies were worth watching the night I watched Maltese Falcon. The offspring trundled into the room, something caught his eye, and he sat down to watch the movie with me. At the end of the flick, he looked at me and said, wonder in his voice, “That was a good movie!”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

212 Farley’s Revenge: My second-place dead sex symbol is Gene Kelly, I think—handsome, dancing men just do me in. I get all giddy over Singin’ in the Rain.
Miss Othmar
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Ah — Gene Kelly. In college I had a poster on my wall of him hanging from the lamppost in Singin’ in the Rain. It was right around the time that That’s Entertainment (the original) came out. Sigh. Awfully fond of Jimmy Stewart, too — the Philadelphia Story had Jimmy *and* Cary Grant….
Bryan
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

The whole point to It’s A Wonderful Life is that friendship and love are more important than money. “No man is a failure who has friends.” (Atta boy, Clarence!). Mary didn’t love Sam Wainwright, she made that very clear. If she had married him, she’d be rich but miserable.

Nope, still love It’s A Wonderful Life. Heard all the arguments (surprised Annie hasn’t been mentioned yet) and I just don’t care. Hell, I still tear up at the end.

Put me squarely in Team Bridget.

Other movies I tear up at and I don’t care who knows it:
Mr Smith Goes to Washington: When Jefferson Smith goes to the Lincoln Memorial and that kid is reading the inscription.
The Long Gray Line: When Martin and Mary Maher learn they can never have children and decide to adopt the cadets of West Point as their sons.
Casablanca: When they’re all singing La Marseillaise.

Merry Christmas you old building and loan!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

214 Miss Othmar–Yes, that version of Philadelphia Story is so superior to that other one! There’s one of my very favorite movies.
bats :[
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

213. bb,u: Xanadu, the movie that killed Gene Kelly.

(My circle of friends has a morbid little game in which we find the actor whose death followed his/her role in a particularly awful movie, usually through no fault of his/her own, but that an agent must’ve told him/her it was a good idea. Gene Kelly died some years after Xanadu, but that was his last theatrically-released film, I believe. Hyper Sapien did the same to Keenan Wynn.)
Niall
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

Cold medicine? I’m on dental freezing, though it’s wearing off finally.. had to be frozen three times, including after he started cutting up the enamel for the onlay… grrr…. got a mouthguard too. I hate when they tilt my head lower than the rest of my body, angled up, then say when I near-strangle myself on my tongue and spittle: “breathe through your nose!” Well I can’t at that angle, thank you very much!! Solution: stop breathing while they do the procedure. I’ve trained myself to go about a minute at a time. A lot can happen in a minute…

So it’s wearing off (nearly 5 hours later finally) and I’m woozy as I didn’t get much to eat and really didn’t feel like eating.. just drinking juice is a little bizarre.

Yay Mollificent getting her car back! I’m glad I got that spoiler!
Pastor of Muppets
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

FW – Oh, come on, if the poor girl has to say something that schmaltzy, do you really have to draw such a goofy grin on her, too?
Muffaroo
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

Well, I think we can all agree that It’s a Wonderful Life had a great ending. Not the one they usually show, I mean the REAL ending. (Addenda: Miss Othmar found another copy of it. I’ll leave this one up, just in case one of them works better than the other in someone’s browser. This is on Hulu. Good catch, Miss O.!)

ladadog @163 – I remember the Melbourne method. When I played Jonathan Brewster, that method involved a large brace and bit, plus a lot of other tools brought out from a large plumber’s bag and carefully arrayed for convenience.

tip for easy viewing! – I’ve already forgotten which of you geniuses told me this, but I’ve been using it faithfully. Just bookmark the last comment you read, and next time you come in right where you left off. It’s so simple! I should have thought of it with my brain.

KarMann @169 – The spam is trying to become self-aware. It’s trying to snark! I’m kind of interested to see how this works out. But first, I think I’ll enjoy the great taste of Coca-Cola! Yes, it’s the Real Thing! Packed with flavor, it Really Satisfies! So remember — Coca-Cola is The Real Thing!

Aviatrix @175 – RUSTY has become THE SANDMAN! See, this was the origin story. That’s why it takes place in 1961.

Farley’s Revenge @206 – “And I really got hot
When I saw Randolph Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills…”
Nekrotzar
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

My wife just gave me the coolest birthday present ever.
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

#217bats:[: Another fine actor whose last film was atrocious: Raoul Julia in Streetfighter. He was in the final throes of his cancer and he looked physically gaunt in the movie. He died shortly after.

Younger offspring reminded me of Phil Hartman, who did a bit in Capt. Blasto. I don’t know that one, if it’s a game or a movie or movie based on a game.

Yeah, Gene Kelly was another fine actor, with the bonus of his dancing. I can’t think of the movie but I remember seeing him dance with Tom & Jerry once. Fred Astaire was one who also looked good in a tux while he danced.
Farley's Revenge
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Jimmy Stewart was perfect in Harvey.

A very young Grant tearing up scenery in Gunga Din.

Heh-can you tell I love old movies?
agony
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Dilbert on Wednesday – this is something I could really see my engineer son doing. I’m never gonna be a grandma……(sigh)
queek
December 24th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

222: Anchors Away.

a quick version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRMGRpDCW6k
Miss Othmar
December 24th, 2009 at 12:08 am [Reply]

I appreciate Fred Astaire more and more lately — The Band Wagon is a lot of fun, and the movies with Ginger Rogers were often very clever (aside from the fabulous dancing). Maybe not as sexy as Gene Kelly, but his dancing was SO classy.

I also loved the Tracy-Hepburn movies, esp. Adam’s Rib & Woman of the Year. I probably watch more movies on TCM and AMC (though they’re not as “classic” as they used to be) than on HBO, etc.

Excuse me for a sec.

Hey you kids, get off my lawn!

Now, where was I????
bats :[
December 24th, 2009 at 12:12 am [Reply]

Itchy’s a jerk.
Vince M
December 24th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

#217bats:[ : There’s certainly a reason people block out Peter Sellers’ “The Fiendish Plot of Fu Manchu”.
re. the Mark Trail coloring book – just look at that squirrel on page 26…no perspective at work there, that is one big-ass squirrel.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 24th, 2009 at 12:24 am [Reply]

225 queek: Cute as hell! I could watch ~~those white sailor pants~~ that dancing all night long.
Uncle Lumpy
December 24th, 2009 at 12:25 am [Reply]

KarMann@169; Muffaroo@220 –

Yeah, spambots are getting pretty sophisticated. Most post on long-idle threads, which makes them easy to spot and stomp — a pleasant way to spend an idle hour!

But the cases KarMann referenced aren’t commercial spam — just somebody flogging their own blog here, and technically in-bounds.
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

That’s what I was wondering about, Uncle L, but I was unwilling to click through. It seemed to me that once was okay, but twice made it excessive enough that I didn’t hesitate to label it spam.
True Fable
December 24th, 2009 at 1:49 am [Reply]

Fist O Justice theater Mark couldn’t call 911 or the Coast Guard or the State Troopers and tell THEM it was a life-or-death emergency, oh no; he’s got to knock the sheriff out and go there himself, not that his being there before did Rusty any damn good. This Just. Doesn’t. Make. Sense, But what am I saying – this is Mark Trail, the comic strip that brings you talking potatoes and ginormous squirrels.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 2:06 am [Reply]

# 215 Bryan — I think it’s great when someone has heard all the arguments/jokes, but still calmly and deeply loves a movie, musical, etc. I’ve heard all the rotten things about Wagner and all the jokes about the plots and the fat ladies, but I love the Ring Cycle.

Also the movie WILLOW.
Aviatrix
December 24th, 2009 at 2:09 am [Reply]

Muffaroo, bourbon babe, Gold-Digging Nanny, gnome de blog: I laughed out loud at every suggestion, and really none is more ludicrous than that sideburn-punching action, so I can’t wait to see which is true.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 2:09 am [Reply]

# 218 Niall — Oh. My. God. I’m the pathetic kind of dental weenie who needs nitrous just to get through a cleaning, so reading your post…excuse me, must lie down…
Sister Sestina
December 24th, 2009 at 2:09 am [Reply]

Don’t forget that Orson Wells’ last performed role was a voice-over in the first (i.e. non-Megan Fox) Transformers movie — playing a robot the size of a planet.

Funnily enough I saw “Xanadu: The Musical” just a few nights ago. On stage at least its relentless early ’80s stupidity could be hammered into Gilbert and Sullivanesque nonsense (though with far sappier songs, of course.)

Speaking of the ’80s — did June Morgan ever pose for Patrick Nagel? Swear I saw the same face of today’s third panel in a poster back then….

And back to the movies: I can only watch the last bit of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, after running to bridge for the plunge. I find the beforewards such a relentless piling on, and George’s blustering wears on me badly. As to the Librarian Old Maid thing, I chalk it up to the time’s narrative shorthand stereotype and shrug; by the time the shoulders stop twitching it’s over anyways.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

# 220 Muffaroo — Hi, Jonathan! I played your Aunt Abby. If things get dull in a few days, maybe we could play a game of throwing up the name of a play or musical and finding out which Mudges played which parts.
True Fable
December 24th, 2009 at 2:27 am [Reply]

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! Abbey’s face has “that’s what you think, chickie!” written alllll over it. And that amuses me no end.

Meddle Eyre HA! Dawn so obviously doesn’t believe her dad could possibly score with more than one woman in his lifetime, she doesn’t even entertain the notion for a minute! And here’s Wilbur trying to find a way to say “Hey, I was a total stud back in the day” to his daughter without sounding any creepier than he already does.

Apartment of Doom Let’s do something crazy, like repeatedly run into brick walls face first! Or run down the street naked! Or post naughty song parodies on a comics web site! Or spend Christmas together!

Fa-la-la Wonderland I can’t help but wonder just at what point during this warm fuzzy Christmas Eve, that Les is going to pull out one of Lisa’s “Merry Christmas I’m Dead And Not There” tapes for them to watch.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

12/24 RMMD — I dunno. I was going to put my money on Margo, but after seeing this, I’m starting to favor June.
Dr. Weird
December 24th, 2009 at 3:48 am [Reply]

12/24 Mark Trail

“You have to leave me Sassy!” No, he DOESN’T. Dogs can swim, instinctively. Once the tide covers Rusty completely, Sassy will be fine.
gnome de blog
December 24th, 2009 at 3:52 am [Reply]

239 Poteet: Even Margo would blench at the woman in Panel 2. I still give her a slight edge because she doesn’t quit, but June’s got some cold steel in her.
Farley's Revenge
December 24th, 2009 at 4:33 am [Reply]

SF: Sal thinks she’s going to stare down the crowd? I don’t think so. She’d be better off hiring June Morgan to do the staredown.

MT: So all this time, Rusty’s been lying in the sand doing nothing except talking to that idiot dog, getting sand fleas in unmentionable places, and waiting to drown. Seriously, one ginormous sand flea would have a higher IQ than these twits.

MW: Wilbur’s eating again? Good God, man, pace yourself already! And use a regular sized spoon, okay? Baby spoons just make you look ridiculous…more ridiculous…idiotic…oh hell. Use the baby spoon. It suits you.

RMMD: Does Rex ever see patients? Or has he managed to become independently wealthy by fleecing Medicare?

I’ve got to admit that I’m siding with June on this one. Brook broke into their house, trashed it, and stole from them. I don’t care if she’s a relative, that’s just plain rude. She deserves June’s Icy Glare of Death with a side of Rex’s pursed lips.
KarMann
December 24th, 2009 at 4:40 am [Reply]

@Dr. Weird #240: You mean, Sassy will be fine, if still a bit hungry….

12/24 Pardon My Planet: Unspeakable (and unspoken) filth!
KarMann
December 24th, 2009 at 4:52 am [Reply]

ZOMG, there are seven differences in 12/24 Slylock, with only six listed! Must be an early Christmas bonus!
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
December 24th, 2009 at 7:21 am [Reply]

DT: a miniature Stradivarius, that they paid $2,000,000 for. Looks like it was the prize in a box of Crackerjacks. Maybe it was a prize in a box of Crackerjacks.

MT: I think Rusty was the prize in a box of Crackerjacks.
Ed Dravecky
December 24th, 2009 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Merry Christmas, comics blog! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!
gleeb
December 24th, 2009 at 7:35 am [Reply]

Brenda: There’s something vampiric in that middle panel.

Dick: Still plotting despite having just had cataract surgery. That’s dedication, folks.

Barney Google et al.: Don’t worry, Jughaid, Pappy managed to steal you more than just a new head-sock.

Zippy: NEWSPAPERS.
Écureuil Écumant
December 24th, 2009 at 8:02 am [Reply]

Curtis: Yes, Barry, we know that Curtis won’t wake up if you pop firecrackers next to his head — he’d never get any sleep if he hadn’t learned to tune out your numerous, thunderous and sulfurous farts.
SWMBO
December 24th, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

@163 ladadog – First, as a huge Albert Payson Terhune fan – love your sign in – second – don’t forget the Christmas Classic The Bishop’s Wife – with the wonderful Cary Grant! As an extra added bonus you also get David Niven…What’s not to like?
Écureuil Écumant
December 24th, 2009 at 8:16 am [Reply]

9CL: For the past few days of having to look to comix.com instead of the Chron for my daily emetic, it’s amusing to see the lead ad under the strip is “Living with ulcerative colitis”. Oh yeah, baby! Bring on the wilbermush!
Écureuil Écumant
December 24th, 2009 at 8:18 am [Reply]

FW: Please accept my Christmas gift of cranberry cake, cleverly disguised as an antitank mine.
Little Guy
December 24th, 2009 at 8:27 am [Reply]

MT: Best. Christmas. Ever.

y9CL: I take my earlier Chris Brown comment and substitute Don Draper crotch-grabbing Gran Burber while being nose-pinched.

metaMC: Not to mention every time George wants to travel, something happens and he’s the only one to clean up the mess. Right, Uncle Billy? Harry? Even his dad screws him over with a nekkid girl in the bushes.

And yeah, I married a librarian, so I got a kick out of the comment above about “Old Maid”.

Brewster: Crossover Win!

JP: It must be Life on Mars, because how else can we see two moons in the daytime?
Little Guy
December 24th, 2009 at 8:29 am [Reply]

232: Absolutely. And Jackelrod will have the sherriff be corrupt or evil or something else, so all the lawbreaking by Mark will be justified and set aside.

Let me camp out to the head of the line by saying:
BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!

S-M: You mean BigFart had backup?
Mela
December 24th, 2009 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Christmas comics:

A3G: Nothing says Christmas like hanging out with the pill-popper during her up-swing.

Archie: Nothing says Christmas like fretting about those darn kids today and their darn technology.

GA: OMG, the guy that looked just like Santa really was Santa! Wow! When do we stop with attempts at plot and get to the well-drawn greeting for this year?

Luann: This week’s Vintage strips remind us all that, even before she discovered boys and tarted herself up to be Queen of the Cockteases, Luann was an obnoxious little bitch.

My Cage: Don’t fret, Norm – I never got that movie, either. I think it lost me when his wife’s horrible fate was *gasp* being single & having a career. Yeah, that’s aged well.

Pluggers: Yes, Pluggers don’t need those fancy stores! They need big monoliths that destroy local businesses because they’re lazy and don’t shop until the morning of Christmas Eve. Seriously, this is the single most depressing strip I’ve ever seen.
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

MW – For those still trying to figure out what Dawn and Wilbur are eating, we now have these clues:
- It is cooked in a big pot on the stove
- It is served with a spatula, not a spoon, and on plates, not in dishes
- It’s kinda yellowish-puce in color
- It is served without any side dishes
- It emits steam (or smoke, or noxious gases)
- My interpretation of today’s panel 3 was that Wilbur was scooping it up with fritos, but I’m willing to accept the analysis by Farley’s Revenge @ 242 that that’s a baby spoon
- It makes your head melt.

I can only conclude that it’s… ummm… Dawn’s Psychedelic Library Paste Surprise.
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Brenda Starr — OMG – is that Josh?
Lucky
December 24th, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

#240 Dr. Weird – Hey, that’s Sassy we’re talking about. The one who instinctively backed towards a gator’s maw.

Baldo – I think someone more clever than I could squeeze a gay joke out of this whole not having any closets thing.

Family Circus – “Mom! You forgot to give Jeffy his pills again!”

Funky Winkerbean – You can’t spell ‘cranberry’ without C-A-N-…b-e-r. Ehh, close enough.

Hagar the Horrible – So, does Hagar live in Vinland or something, what with the turkey and all?

Heart of the City – Yes, seriously, hurry up. Christmas is almost over and you can’t run a christmasy story arc after it.

Marmaduke – He’s growing bigger! Run!

Snuffy Smith – Snuffy must be a tripod.
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 9:54 am [Reply]

I shall now attempt to use my highly advanced html skills (ahem) to show you what I’m talking about when I ask “is that Josh?” I’m referring to panel 3, obviously.
mayzshon
December 24th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

#220 Muffaroo and #237 Poteet. Hello Jonathan and Abby. I played Dr. Einstein. Which is kind of funny when you realize I’m bilt far more like Boris Karloff than the guy who played Jonathan.
anonymous
December 24th, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Here’s a shocking news flash – Pluggers do their Christmas shopping at Walmart! Who’da thunk? Yeah, if you need a big honking carload of cheap crap for all your low-rent relatives, Walmart’s the place. Slippers. Polyester bathrobes. Shirts with cartoon characters on them. Ugly Christmas sweaters a size too small. Big tin buckets of popcorn. $5 stinky cologne. “Body butter”. Garish plastic toys to strew over their unpaved driveways. The ever popular box o’ candy. Gallon jugs of cheap orange drink. A box of danish pastries big as your head. Walmart is just a winter wonderland, and a godsend, for the hapless Pluggers.
Gabacho
December 24th, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – “Are you going to correspond with every nut who claims he’s your son?” is a question I cannot ever imagine being asked by one human to another.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 24th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

12/24

DtM: “Ho ho ho! That ain’t all Santa’s gonna do to make your mother happy, kid.”

RMMD: Um, June, she’s your sister’s daughter. I think you know where she comes from. June? Oh well.
Enjoy the Wrath of June Morgan, RN while it lasts. Pretty soon we’ll find out that Brook has some heartbreaking problem, and she’ll have to pretend to care.

H&L: Lois gets kittenish and seductive, reminding Hi that of all the thankless tasks she performs, sex with him pretty much tops the list.

Archie: Archie is licking his lips over a snowman? Ronnie, your boyfriend’s VR fantasy might not be exactly what he told you it was.

Ziggy: If Santa’s main topic of conversation is bitter jokes about his castrating wife, I think we can be thankful the toy delivery doesn’t leave him much time to chat.

MW: Since Mary didn’t prepare the food, we can at least imagine that it’s enjoyable. Giella makes it a little easier by covering most of the meal up with steam.

GT: What’s this? Intentional humor? Wonders never cease.

H&J: Ha! They call it Village Home Supplies, but it’s not even in a village! It’s in–wait for it–the city! Stop, you’re killing me!
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 24th, 2009 at 10:49 am [Reply]

#237 poteet,
Aunt Abby? Oh my, I’m sorry to have missed that.

To take you up on the second part, anyone else have Romeo and Juliet experiences? I was the Apothecary in a high school production.
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

262 afkaBen – You know, you’re right about GT. And possibly more shocking, even a casual reader can figure out who’s who and how the three panels are related to each other. And most of the limbs and appendages look fairly normal (with the possible exception of Ray’s right hand).

OK, who are you people and what have you done with the real Rubin & Whigham?
Broadviewist
December 24th, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Mark Trail was clearly never in the Girl Scouts, because they would have taught him that you don’t dump the whole bucket of water on a fire, you just sprinkle handfuls of water on it. That blond girl (scout) is laughing at him because she knows his “woodsman” persona is all an act.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 24th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

#251 Écureuil Écumant

FW: Please accept my Christmas gift of cranberry cake, cleverly disguised as an antitank mine.

Oh, so she’s bringing one to Wally as well?
John C Fremont
December 24th, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

#191 gnome de blog – “Rusty is gone, I hope he’s drifting out to sea…”

#228 Vince M – I’m glad you brought up Peter Sellers so I didn’t have to. Man, he could have gone out with Being There…

#257 Lucky – Vinland, you say?

#’s 220, 237 & 259 – My only high school play was a totally forgettable piece-o-crap experience, but my big brother was Teddy Brewster.

#260 Anonymous – Sounds as though you have strong feelings on the subject. Sadly, there are just some things (especially in a small town where all the older, better stores have long since closed) that you can only get from WalMart unless you want to drive all the way to Omaha or (insert name of nearest “major metropolitan” destination here). Thank goodness for the invention of the self-checkout lines. Most of your Plugger types still refuse to use them-there new fangled whatzits, so if you plan your WalMart excursion properly (timing is everything, anonymous) you get in, bypass the “greeter,” head straight to the electronics and/or automotive departments (the only departments into which you should enter) pick out your stuff (for the love of god, don’t use a cart!), dodge the four-abreast-walking families, hit the self check-out, and run like hell before you start to sound like Cletus from The Simpsons… but if you stay too long – well, just start writing up that list of groceries that’ll go real good with possum and work on that rant about the dad-burned gumment, because that’s the fate of anyone who spends more than five minutes there. And don’t look that damned smiley face in the eye!

Lio made me cry today. Lio shouldn’t do that. Someone should’ve warned me.

MW – That’s an awful lot of mush there, Wilbur. Save room for those five or six sandwiches you’ll be eating while online. (Hint; To save on keyboard cleaning, leave out the mayo. You’re welcome.)

Phantom – Say, that’s a Wilbur Weston-sized sammich you’ve got there, Kit. Instead of reaching for that quart of milk, might I suggest the corn meal mush?

Wait. This boat isn’t going to be attacked by pirates, is it?

RMMD – Nice shot of June’s ass. Too bad she’s wearing all those pesky clothes.

As Butthead once said, “She has a tendancy to wear too many clothes.” (What d’ya know? According to Google, I’ve used that quote before. I guess my middle initial stands for “consistency,” because neither “repetitive” nor “brain-damaged” start with “C.” “Cognitively-challenged” on the other hand…)

SFx – Aww! The birdie’s doing his Nixon routine.
Calico
December 24th, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

RM – This is totally out of place – Rex going for the Ass-grab!

FW – I brought my specialty – Cancer Cake!
(Le Chat Blue appears on doorstep for a taste)
Calico
December 24th, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

#260 – Ah, Mall-Wart (props to Alison Bechdel for that one).

I have been in our local WM twice, and I got lost both times (What a REAL Plugger would do!).
The only way I found my way out was from the stink emanating from the McDonald’s at the front of the store.
And no, their prices are not always cheaper, at least from what I’ve noticed in the food dept. Metro and Provigo are better at sales.
tubbytoast
December 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

“You have to leave me Sassy!” Sassy – “I like to watch.”
Chip Whittle
December 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: Wait, you can buy Supreme Court justices at Wal-Mart and just take them home in your uncovered pickup truck?
UncleJeff
December 24th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

217 bats:{ — A couple of more “movies that killed the actors” — Oliver Reed in “Gladiator” (several lines were dubbed by another actor to “complete” Reed’s role)
Bela Lugosi: one great role (“Dracula”, of course) and a whole bunch of appearances in cheapies. He died during the filming of one of those movies and the director’s dentist donned a cape and performed the role but shielded his face so he couldn’t be seen by the audience.
Or Vic Morrow and a couple of hapless child actors who died on the set of “The Twilight Zone Movie” when a helicopter fell on them.
And there was Martin Sheen, who almost died of a heart attack during the filming of “Apocalypse Now”
Ribinin
December 24th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

From past WalMart discussions I thought it was on the same list as the Duck-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Not adding to the Comic Curmudgeon Comity that we all enjoy so much about this site.

<rant>In addition, it would be nice not to be anonymous while ranting. Everyone feels the need to rant once in awhile. Be a mensch and rant under your CC name.</rant>

And stay off my lawn!
Écureuil Écumant
December 24th, 2009 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

@262 Artist formerly known as Ben said: “H&L — Lois gets kittenish and seductive, reminding Hi that of all the thankless tasks she performs, sex with him pretty much tops the list.”

I think she owes him one. It takes time to spraypaint every needle of the Christmas tree black.

And ibid. @266: No, Wally gets the fruitcake that has bullets instead of currants.
gnome de blog
December 24th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

258 wossname (demonstrating that she is, indeed, html-savvy beyond all comprehension) – yes, it could be…too bad a) Josh ain’t around, and b) he doesn’t read Brenda Starr, so we have to. Kind of interesting that he would appear in a strip he rarely snarks on.

Mary Schmich and I are alumni of the same college, but she doesn’t know that.
Will
December 24th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: there are 7 differences, for crying out loud. The bulldog has a bandage in panel one, but not in the second panel. Stop playing with my head, Bob Weber, Jr.

MT: It seems unlikely that the Christmas strip will be Rusty succumbing to the onrushing tide and drowning, and Mark being shot by the police while fleeing the station, but that’d be the likely way for this situation to end in Batiuk-ville.

MW: why are there flowers in the urn? And why is an urn on the kitchen table?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 24th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

MT: C’mon, Rusty, why the long face? Given how slowly that tide has been rising, you have a good five or six hours before your watery death.

(And actually, Rusty, I have one word for you: wriggle.)

MW: Wow—two totally unrealistic statements in one panel:
1) Dawn’s implication that more than one person would claim to be the fruit of Wilbur’s plump loins (mitigating factor: she used the word “nut”).
2) Wilbur’s suggestion that the coagulated yellowing mass on their plates could be enjoyed as food (mitigating factor: this IS Mary Worth).

A3G: “You bring the pills, and I’ll bring my willingness to do just about anything to get them!”

SM: Thank goodness they skipped the boring part here—that whole scene in which Spidey got free of Sandman, and Sandman took out two henchguys all on his own, and little Sandy managed to get loose—because the novelty of the quippy dialogue has me absolutely enraptured.
Will
December 24th, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Oh, and speaking of MW:

Dawn: Are you going to correspond with every nut who claims he’s your son?

Just how loose was Wilbur when he was in college? Is Facebook really lousy with people impersonating long-lost children?
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

275 gnome de blog – For my next trick, I will photoshop something onto something else in a funny manner — uh, never mind.

But more important, maybe Josh is not here because he’s there. Moonlighting in Brenda Starr as “Mr. Bigtime Blogger,” and expecting us not to notice because BS is not on the chron page.
Jonny Quest
December 24th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

A3G: Professor, Bobbie has passionately kissed you and now she wants to spend Christmas Day with you. This can mean only one thing. Go for it man, more rice pudding.
calculator jones
December 24th, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

I have done the math. At the current pace, if Josh does not return until Jan 4, 2009, you all should be able to attain over 9,000 posts.
Chip Whittle
December 24th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

The Meaning Of Lila is funny today because everybody knows gay men can’t use tools or play baseball like real men do!

Momma reminds us, for the second day in a row, that if there’s something distinctly you, make sure you hide it in shame. Or maybe just if you’re Francis to hide yourself in shame.

Pickles reminds us that there’s nothing for holiday blues quite like bringing out a little dose of spontaneous whimsy and crushing its windpipe beneath the heel of your steel-lined boots.

Spot the Frog is another of those unjustly cancelled comic strips. How can a comic which has cute, slightly manic frogs developing complicated plans requiring improvised chainsaws and pants theft not catch on? What’s wrong with the world?
Écureuil Écumant
December 24th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

@276 Will said: “MW: why are there flowers in the urn?”

Those are flowers? What’s their common name — Poteet — anyone? Cervix-on-a-swab?
calculator jones
December 24th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

2009? {ERROR} {ERROR} WILL EXPLODE
BOOM!
hisssssssssphallllltttt….. arggg.
Uncle Lumpy
December 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

#258 wossname (all grown up ‘n’ codin’ on her own!) –
#275 gdb –

The blogger is a returning character (formerly a nude blogger). Alas, the Comic Strip Archive doesn’t track BrS, but if the blogger is in the Sunday strip hair color should be a giveaway. My guess is he’s Generic Hipster Guy (cf.Maynard Krebs).
Uncle Lumpy
December 24th, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

@calculator jones (#284) –

Well, finally! That was supposed to happen ten years ago!
Calico
December 24th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#273 – You are right.

On other topics, I’ve been wondering lately – where are posters of the past such as HBGLord (sp?), Trotzenbonnie, Angry Kem, et al?

Hope you are all well.

#278 – Probably not, but there has been a recent scam of “Grandkids” calling older people, asking for emergency money. Shameful.
calculator jones
December 24th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

gllloooppp. funkywinkerbean….
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 24th, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

287 Calico: And Aerosquid? I’ve been thinking of him, too.
Sarah
December 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

There’s a Dennis the Menace park in Midland, Texas too…incidentally, it’s on Garfield Street.

http://maps.google.com/maps/place?rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7TSHA_en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=dennis+the+menace+park+midland+texas&fb=1&gl=us&hq=Dennis+the+Menace+Park&hnear=Dennis+the+Menace+Park&cid=4795144466553504204
Batman Beatles
December 24th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Lio: Awwww!
Crankenstank
December 24th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

To paraphrase Bart Giamatti: now, when we need you the most, you fade away?
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

287 Calico and 289 bourbon babe – I’ve been wondering about Aerosquid too. The others you mention are from before my time.

It’s interesting whenever somebody posts a link to a CC thread from two or three years ago: There are regular posters, but I don’t recognize any of the names. Either the current Mudges have switched names, or there’s a fair amount of turnover.
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Dick – Looking at this hurts my brain. The characters should wear name tags. Judging by its relation to a character’s already tiny hand, the Strad Ukulele is too tiny to be played by anything larger than a marmoset. And we thought having Pablo Picasso draw the strip would be an improvement!

Mark – Jeez, kid, stop crying! You’re only making it worse! And tell Sassy to knock off the peeing.

Marmaduke – “Did our house shrink again?”

Mary – “Take it from me, Dad! No sane person would claim to be your child. Wibble wibble.”

Mutts – I notice Mooch’s usual speech impediment doesn’t apply to the word “sit.” Wise decision.

Popeye – The Shmoo saga continues.

Tiger – You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!
ohyes
December 24th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

As to what decade we’re in, please note that the Sixties didn’t begin until about 1966.

For proof, see the TV show Mad Men, which this season showed that 1963 was still in the Fifties.

For now, I think we should just do what Josh says. If he says we go metric, then we do.
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Poteet @237 & mayzshon @259 – All right, the whole cast is showing up! Now if we could just get a Cary Grant lookalike… Oh, man, I wish I could have played Dr. Einstein. That was the plum part. They first cast a guy in that role who was totally overpowering everyone else in the cast — I mean, he was big and loud — and when he went away, I was hoping… but the director’s husband (also a director) stepped in instead, and carried it off superbly. Sigh.

Little Guy @252 – I married a librarian, too. I think the stereotype was launched by men who were bitter at having to settle for a non-librarian spouse.

anonymous @260 – Plus, you can shop at Wal-Mart wearing a Snuggie™.

formerly Ben @263 – I haven’t done anything more Shakespearean than “Kiss Me, Kate” and a scene from “The Tempest.” I do love the bit from Shakespeare in Love where the actor who plays the Nurse is talking to a wench, and she asks what “Romeo & Juliet” is about. “Well,” says the actor, “There’s this nurse…”

UncleJeff @272 – Ah, but Plan 9 From Outer Space will be talked about for years to come, and it led to the creation of Tim Burton’s totally amazing Ed Wood, which contains a standout performance (among many) by Martin Landau as Lugosi. We’re now back on topic, because Landau used to be an assistant to Gus Edson on “The Gumps” as well as illustrating the column “Pitching Horseshoes”!
Howland Awl
December 24th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

I figured it out, finally–Phil Harmonic is actually Johnny Winter, with some hair dye. Dad better watch out or it’s gonna be a Bad Luck Situation…

I love Rex Morgan’s manner in the third panel, when confronted by June’s rear. “Hey now! Watch out with that thing! Back it up any further and I’m gonna flee to my nonexistent doctor’s office!”
commodorejohn
December 24th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

A3G – “Crazy like…YEARGH YOUR FACE IS MELTING OH GOD THE WALLPAPER THE WALLPAPER!”

Blondie – You know, I’m not the biggest Blondie fan out there, but at least Dean Young appears to give a damn, which is more than you can say for a lot of legacy strips. Lovely visuals today.

BrS – Oh, I am so looking forward to this.

Crock – Is that a…? A body stocking, right? No, seriously, Crock, clothes don’t work that way. They just don’t. And why the cross-hatching and little points poking out of the borders? Did you start coloring it green and forget that it wasn’t a cactus?

DT – Okay, there have been some bizarre sound effects over the course of Dick Tracy’s recent years. But…since when does a punch go “ZOT?” That’s the sound the anteaters in B.C. make, or the sound of a lightning bolt, not the sound of a fist hitting a chin. Good gravy.

FC – What’s with the smudgy cloud-thing in the room? Is that the Angel of Death from The Ten Commandments? Merry Christmas, everyone!

FW – The “joke” is hardly worth mentioning, but it looks like Westview is beginning to be swallowed up by the same all-consuming black void that was working its way into Crankshaft…oh, when the hell was that? Last year? The year before? I can’t remember. Anyway, the Moore house has been removed from normal Winkerverse spacetime to its own pocket dimension, where the people therein will stave off hunger and madness for a short time before the orgy of cannibalism begins. Merry Christmas, everybody!

GT – Hmm. If this were Funky Winkerbean or Mary Worth, it would be obvious that Fabulous Ray Richey is just stringing the girl along for a nice, tragic taking-advantage-of. But Gil Thorp, on the other hand, can be a little more nuanced than that, so I’m not really 100% sure where they’ll be going with this. My hope is that this will be in the style of one of those late ’50s-early ’60s movies where the rough-around-the-edges kid turns out to really be good at heart, just to mix things up a bit.

JP – Ooh, dig that first panel. This strip is just damn beautiful when it’s not tethered to Mr. Bland Unethical Lawyer and company.

Lio – Aww…

MT – Wow.

MW – “No. Now shut up and eat your mush.”

Phantom – Yes, thank you, Narration Box. Couldn’t have remembered that without you.

Pluggers – Not content with just being poor and/or cheap, Pluggers must pretend that the generic products they purchase from the most generic of retail outlets are actually expensive, because apparently price is the definitive indicator of quality. Pluggers make no damn sense.

RMMD – I’ve seen some of the talk going around about Margo vs. June, and while I can’t really bring myself to believe that she could beat the Dark Mistress of 3-G, June is probably the only woman in the funny pages who could give her a run for her money.

SM – Hey, it was nice of Spider-Man to have all that worthless action happen off-panel.
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Note also that for some of us, a new fiscal millenium begins right about… (wait for it) …now!
zerowolf
December 24th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Lockhorns: Party with Leroy and Loretta? I’d rather go to one of Hyacinth Bucket’s candlelight suppers.
zerowolf
December 24th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

MT: Run Sassy, this is your chance to be free.
zerowolf
December 24th, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

A3G: Sorry, Bobbie, but I already have plans for Christmas. How about we get together on Easter and bang like bunnies?
zerowolf
December 24th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

FC: That’s not the sound of eight tiny reindeer. That’s the sound of the serial killer that left your brother’s severed head on the pillow.
gnome de blog
December 24th, 2009 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

So Greg Evans is writing (DT)GT now, too? High school girls and 22-year-olds. Right.
Marmoset
December 24th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

# 294 Muffaroo — I play a very small guitar, actually. Things as they are are changed upon the small guitar.
gnome de blog
December 24th, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

295 ohyes: The Sixties wasn’t a decade, it was an era. There’s a lot of debate on when it began and ended. The author David James Duncan made it November 22, 1963 to August 9, 1974. Another way to look at it would be the Tonkin Gulf Resolution (August, 1964) to Kent State (May 4, 1970), which coincides nicely with the rise and fall of the Beatles.

I’d argue the point but I don’t remember. I was there.
Ribinin
December 24th, 2009 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

The saying that “if you remember the sixties you weren’t there” is oh, so true.
Anonymous
December 24th, 2009 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

236. Sister Sestina: I’ve heard that the stage version of Xanadu is pretty darned good — high energy, and the weird stuff of cheesiness that makes for enjoyable live theater.
Our local art-cinema has a Fri/Sat Cult Movie night, and that ranges all over the place. A year or so ago, the movie was Xanadu — it was fun to see it on the big screen (this theater can handle a full 70-mm film (go, Hamlet!)), even if mr. bats :[ and I were probably the oldest people in the theater and had seen it in its first-run (well, mr. bats :[, not I). What was really odd is the number of the young-uns who knew the songs and were singing along!
Well, at least they’re not on my lawn…
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Marmoset @305 – I knew it was a quote from something, but had to appeal to Mr. Magoogle to fill me in. Now I should go look up Wallace Stevens.
Muffaroo
December 24th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

I was there and I remember the 60s. In a few days it’ll only be 50 years until the 60s return.
GotFuzzy
December 24th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Popping in from the GotFuzzy Holiday Extravaganza, waiting for all the Fuzzys to gather, to up the comment count.

wossname’s deductive logic on what exactly Dawn and Wilbur are eating made me laugh out loud, so much so that I had to read it to the Fuzzys that are here presently.

And as far as dramatic roles, I have a long list of appearances. The Nurse in an outdoor production of Romeo and Juliet, Thorin Oakenshield in a children’s theater version of The Hobbit (I played male and female roles interchangeably up to about age 17, when I finally started developing some cleavage) and Dinah in The Philadelphia Story are some of my favorites. In high school, we expanded You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown (I am sure without permission from the rights-holder) and added characters like Pigpen, Sally and Woodstock to get a bigger number of speaking parts. I played Marcy (my androgyny aiding my casting once again), but our Peppermint Patty got sick on opening night. I stepped in and took over her solos and we just eliminated Marcy for that show. I don’t remember a thing about it but I’m told I did a bang-up job. The best thing about that show was painting the backdrop. There were four blank panels, and I added the Schulz signature. It was a great, great time.

And Lio made me cry today, too.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 24th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

I’m off to spend Christmas with my sister and her family—and where, not having access to my usual snark-outlet (i.e., here), I’ll have to resist the impulse to direct my natural sarcasm onto my doofus brother-in-law.

Let’s hope that my inner Mark Trail of family peace, and repression will be able to subdue my sideburned inner snarkers as they attempt to skin alive my gator-brained, whining victim.

Now that I’ve chained that metaphor to a log: Merry Christmas, everybody—see you in a couple of days!
Calico
December 24th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

#312 and all – Merry Christmas!
Anonymous
December 24th, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

263. AFKAB: I just replaced my VHS copy of Zefferelli’s Romeo and Juliet with a DVD copy? Does that count?
Gosh, I love the costumes in this one! And the screaming, bawling teen angst all over it! (yes, once again, suck it, Sparkledorks…)

267. John C Fremont re MW: two words: mush sandwiches.

272. UncleJeff: but I thought Gladiator was a worthy film (not one that would’ve caused Oliver Reed to punch out his agent and then die during filming — good old Ollie is sorely missed).
Didn’t Lugosi die during filming of one of Ed Wood’s epics? ‘Nuff said. (Not only did the film kill him, it killed him before it was finished!)

276. Will re MW: two words: Mister Worth.
The Mighty Captain E
December 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

MT – Here, give me that salt….None of this would have happened if Andy (ahem, the Landseer Newfoundland) had been brought along.

happY holidaYs Y’all!
Steve the Pocket
December 24th, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

@#29 Wolfdog: Hey, thanks for the shoutout. I’ve always admired strips that can tell a story without words, so it’s always satisfying when I can pull it off myself. And as an added bonus, I don’t have to struggle to get the dialog right.

@#35 wossname: I kept up with Kevin and Kell for a while, but then it got all serious and epic and I lost interest. But damned if I’ll ever get that song out of my head.

Bizarro: Does this qualify as a Twitter gag that’s not awful? The fact that Twitter itself is treated as normal rather than some thing these crazy kids today are doing seems to help.

Family Circus: …And? …And? …Punchline? …Unfunny but intended punchline?

Mark Trail: Unless the writer has a seriously poor grasp of physics, Rusty’s already done for. If Mark is able to jack a car that’s sitting on wet sand, then … well, OK, it won’t really be any less realistic as just about anything I’ve seen in Mark Trail these days.

The Argyle Sweater: Isn’t there some semi-famous vegetarian activist who actually has that as a tattoo?
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
December 24th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

MT: Somebody may have said this up there already, but my Crystal Ball predicts that the car is going to float off Rusty just in time. How, I don’t know, because so far as I know the only floatable cars were some models of Volkswagon Beetles (you can look it up, they even advertised this for a while). Or the tide will wash some sand away and he can wiggle out. Or some such b.s.

Also if you look at the last panel today, Rusty, who is supposed to be stuck under the axel, must be about 8 feet long.

Or Mark will punch the car and with his Fist O’Justice he will knock it way out into the sea.

Or something.

How old is Rusty supposed to be, anyway? In that coloring book, he looks about 15-16. In these strips, he looks about 6-7. Of course, mentally, he is minus 5 1/2.

Luann: will Quill ask Luann or Tiffany out for New Year’s Eve? Or will he ask T.J.? If he had any sense he would ask Delta, or Bernice– she’s hot!!
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

316 Steve the Pocket – I’d never seen the Kevin & Kell song before – that was great! Thanks for the link.
AmazingThor
December 24th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

12/24 – Archie , third panel : What use are Christmas carols if you’re…no longer able…to…speak?
Farley's Revenge
December 24th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Our dining room, today. We’re sitting down to eat lunch. Elder offspring arrives at the table, his handy-dandy little notebook computer in hand.

Me: You’re bringing your notebook to the table?
Him: I’m chatting with ****(current GF’s name).
Me: And this means…what to me?
Him: Um.
Me: Tell her you’re going to eat lunch and your parental unit insists you do it without the computer at the table.
Him: Um.
Me: Shall we see if I still know how to give you the Stare of Death?
Him: *quickly places his notebook on the windowsill behind him*
Me: Thank you. Wise choice you made there.

It was so much like when he was a wee Farley that I almost got misty-eyed with memories.

With that, I wish Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good time.
commodorejohn
December 24th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

And in other news, my Eee just got back from the computer doctors, all fixed up from the time it fell off of my car on the freeway entrance. And to my pleasant surprise, the Asus tech support aren’t a bunch of barely-trained chimpanzees, and actually listened when I asked them to not just do what HP tech support calls “return it to factory condition” (i.e. wipe the entire hard disk and reinstall.) Hooray!

Now I just have to get used to the keyboard again…
Miss Othmar
December 24th, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

#321 commodorejohn: glad to hear it, for your sake and also because I too have an Eee and it’s good to know that the Asus tech support did a credible job. (hard to type that while crossing my fingers…).
Farley's Revenge
December 24th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Lio: *sniffle* No words were necessary.

9CL: Yo! Writer person! It’s “Lieutenant”. Or, if you’re going for the British pronunciation “Leftenant”, but it’s still spelled the same way.

Gramma Burber must have some serious bucks because no way would her health insurance company pay for her to lie in bed and tell her daughter her life’s story like she is. I’ll add that it was a touching story at first. Now it’s tedious and predictable, not unlike most of the other storylines.

I’m waiting for the UPS guy to deliver my Christmas gift from the spouse. In what could only be called a tease, a brown truck just drove down the street and turned around in front of our house to head back towards a neighbor’s house. ARGH!
Bryan
December 24th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Wow, Asus tech support did a good job? It’s a Christmas miracle! Every time I’ve had to deal with them, I’ve had to be like George Bailey shaking Uncle Billy: “Where’s that RMA you silly stupid old fool!”
Of course, that was several years ago so maybe they’ve gotten their act together.
commodorejohn
December 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

#324 Bryan – Well, it was a bit of a hassle getting it shipped out, because they neglected to mention that they weren’t actually sending a box, but I’m just pleased they didn’t go all Stalinist purge on it. I used to have an HP laptop, and I had to remove the hard disk before sending it in for service, because no matter what the problem was, even if it was just a hardware issue, their policy was to erase the entire damn thing and reinstall the default OS setup on it. Gah. So anyone who doesn’t do that is pretty much okay by me.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

# 306 gnome de blog — If the Sixties are defined as an era, I think a case could perhaps be made that they ended sooner in some places than others. I’d say that in parts of the Midwest, 1974 would be about right. But I’m biased. I was there too. I remember some parts better than others. Always ask what’s in the brownies before you eat a few, is one thing I remember.
Poteet
December 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

# 283 Écureuil — Good question. Danged if I know. Your proposed name sounds good. Per below, the fourth flower from the left, second row down, looks maybe similar:

http://www.snap2objects.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/contactsheet_red_flowers.jpg
commodorejohn
December 24th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

#298 me re: FW – Found it! Witness the consumption of the Winkerverse by the darkness!
ladadog
December 24th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

@249 SWMBO: Thank you!
Ah, The Bishop’s Wife. Now that was a great movie, and it’s wonderful to watch this time of year. Only Cary Grant could get away playing an angel named Dudley.

MW: Since we’ve been talking about movies, I can’t help but think Wilbur and his daugher are eating what passed for food in Oliver! Only in this case, who would want some more?
UncleJeff
December 24th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

commodore john: you thanked Mr. Young of “Blondie” for ‘not mailing it in.’
Praise should also go to the people who put together “Annie”.
I don’t have HTML skills so someone else can flag the comic but it’s a beautifully drawn Annie and a too-long-MIA Sandy!
ARF! and a Merry Christmas to all!
Uncle Lumpy
December 24th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

#330 UncleJeff –

<a href=”http://www.gocomics.com/annie” target=”_blank>Annie</a>

or:

Annie
Will
December 24th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

323 Farley: is the German equivalent.
Will
December 24th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

D’oh!
Ignore 332, because I’m dumb.

323 Farley: “Leutnant” is the German equivalent of “Lieutenant.”
TheDiva
December 24th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

C’shaft: But…but…pyrotechnic destruction on holidays is a family tradition! (And once again I ask: why the Hell hasn’t Pam hid his matches yet?)

Curtis: “And believe me, I’ve tried them!”

FW: The “joke” isn’t really worth acknowledging, so I’d just like to know: has anyone remembered Wally this Christmas, or is he in his hotel room trying to hang himself with garland as we speak?

Lio: …I love this comic. (On a personal note, this will be our first Christmas without my mom’s father. I’ve missed his warmth and spirit a lot over these past few months, but never more than I do right now.)

MW: Dawn refuses to acknowledge her father has had sex beyond the one time which was obviously necessary to conceive her. Most people I’ve encountered have this attitude towards their parents, but never has it seemed so reasonable and appropriate.

Pluggers find Target to be too high-class and hoity-toity for their tastes.
gnome de blog
December 24th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

326 Poteet – I think you’re right. The Sixties kind of petered out after Kent State (May 4, 1970). The counterculture got co-opted by Madison Ave. Rednecks started growing their hair long. A lot of us got kids and real jobs and semi-respectable. August 9, 1974, when Nixon resigned, is a nice definitive date for the list-makers, but there are no real bookends. Like the painter James Constable said: “there are no straight lines in nature.”
Anonymous
December 24th, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

327. Poteet: I think there are such things as “mini” chrysanthemums, but I don’t think mums usually come in pinks. Myabe it’s a cornflower/bachelor button.
I suggest it be christened similar to those flowers that have more quaint names: loves-lies-bleeding, forget-me-not. Maybe it’s Wilbur-your-daughter-will-die-an-old-maid.
Sister Sestina
December 24th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Gnome de blog @ 335: The counterculture getting co-opted by Madison Avenue may mean “end of a decade” from the historical perspective, but from a stylistic point….Let’s just say I don’t want a ’60s that precludes using the font Serif Gothic.
wossname
December 24th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

326 Poteet and 335 gnome de blog: Re the 60s – I always thought of the end as the U.S. departure from Vietnam in 1975. (Although personally, I kept trying to live the 60s well into the 80s, which is probably why I don’t remember much about the 60s or the 70s or the 80s.)

Beginning point: Poteet and I have already compared notes on starting college in the early 60s, which were still really the 50s, the era of curfews and young ladies wearing hats and gloves. My personal beginning point for the 60s: I took off a year after sophomore year (1963-64). When I came back in fall ‘65, suddenly all my friends smoked pot. I was like, “Oh, this is interesting!”
dale
December 24th, 2009 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Wizard of Id

A stocking full of coal might be a blessing if the alternative is burning dried sheep dung.
Aviatrix
December 24th, 2009 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

wossname @338 – I know someone that happened to. She went to Europe for a year and when she returned everyone else was wearing tie-dyes and ponchos. She was like, “what happened to everyone?”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
December 24th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

If you haven’t seen this… Comics Alliance, a Web site that normally deals with the Marvel-DC-spandex-and-muscles kind of comics, just put out their Worst Comics of the Decade list… and, right at the bottom, Mark Trail’s Bucky the Deer plotline. For all the same reasons we ridiculed it here. It’s a pretty good recap of the insanity.
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/12/18/the-worst-comics-of-the-decade-part-2/
Jason1981
December 24th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

MT:

Sassy will run, and somehow meet Mark …and the following exchange will take place:

Sassy: “arf! arf arf! arf!”

M: “What’s that, Sassy? Rusty’s gone back to Hell?”
AhClem
December 24th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

#317 Little A etc. – I remember those floating VW Bug ads. I also remember a 1970s parody of that ad in National Lampoon. The ad shows a floating VW Bug, with the caption, “If Ted Kennedy had been driving a Volkswagen, he’d be president today!”
Farley's Revenge
December 24th, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

#333-4Will: Whew! I’m glad you clarified that. For a second I thought you were telling me I was German. This would come as an utter shock to my sister, who has been researching our family history and has our ancestors plunked squarely in the UK.

Thanks for the correction. One might think I would know that, given we were stationed in Germany. One would be wrong, apparently.
Farley's Revenge
December 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

Make that #332-3.

I should go make pies. Really.
Aviatrix
December 24th, 2009 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Ah Clem @343 – I remember a two-page spread showing a VW Beetle on one side and the Lunar Lander on the other. Caption: It’s ugly, but it gets you there.
Spiny Norman
December 24th, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

GT: “Pizza flipper?” I’ve heard of flipping pancakes or burgers, but not pizzas. Tossing pizzas, yes, but not flipping them. This makes me want to flip my cookies—-or toss my lid. Or is there some mozzarella-upside-down pizza I’ve yet to hear about?

Speaking of the otherwordly—–Chennux!!! Pleased to see that your Galactic Overlordship is back from vaporizing distant quadrants. Perhaps flipped pizza is a Christmas custom in your part of the galaxy?
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
December 24th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Speaking of the Sixties, here’s a little Christmas present to my fellow ‘Mudges… Hunter S. Thompson’s famous “Wave” speech about the end of the Sixties. And yep, I was there. And yep, I remember it. Obviously I didn’t do anywhere near enough drugs. Enjoy!

“History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time — and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .
And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

Excerpted from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” (1971)
Miss Othmar
December 24th, 2009 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

Good thing, bourbon babe is off enjoying her holiday — this depressing “Christmas movie” (starring Gene Kelly as a bad guy) is not recommended unless you’re looking to counter an overabundance of holiday cheer….
Mr. O'Malley
December 25th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

I’m a little late to the discussion on account of not having internet access last night…

Bela Lugosi made a few good movies other than Dracula. I liked The Black Cat.

You prescriptive calendarists who have a problem with the idea that the calendar is an artificial human construct, hence the First Century can easily consist of just 99 years if we want it to—what do you do with the year 1582, which consisted of only 355 days (at least for Catholics)? (1752 in North America, but 1867 in Alaska—which even repeated the day of the week that year) Shouldn’t you follow the Old Calendarists? You’d still have 13 more shopping days before Christmas!

306. gnome de blog That’s as good a definition of the Sixties (as opposed to the 1960s) as any. Another example: The Roaring Twenties ended on October 28, 1929.
Mr. O'Malley
December 25th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

What happened to my link? The Black Cat

348. Anna Nimity . Well said. Los Altos is sadly changed since those days, as are many other places.
Nil Zed
December 25th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

293 wossname

yes, some people are still around under new names, there was a fad for it t one time, involving the jungle patrol mostly.

Some of the people listed as not being around much anymore are having too much real life lately. I’m sure they will be back. Chennux has returned, surely this is an omen.

all hail Chennux!
Spotts1701
December 25th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

ReFOOB – Oh for the love of…Lynn, of all the…I mean, jeez even Garfield was nice. You couldn’t go just ONE Christmas without showing poor put-upon Elly slaving away in the kitchen?

Gah!

I’m sorry, but it had to be said.
Muffaroo
December 25th, 2009 at 1:18 am [Reply]

I suppose I may as well change the calendar before I turn in. Merry Christmas, everybody! I’ve already used the bit from It’s a Wonderful Life, so I’ll leave it at that.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

#316 Steve The Pocket – Yeah, I hear you. I really loved the hell out of Kevin & Kell when it was just a fun comic, but…what possessed Holbrook to try and turn a sweet little slice-of-life gag strip into an epic, I can’t even begin to fathom. Cerebus Syndrome strikes again…
Baron Bizarre
December 25th, 2009 at 1:48 am [Reply]

168: RE: June vs. Margo

Well, June appears to be a thinly-disguised Romulan, and they’re pretty tough, but I’m convinced that Margo is an avatar of the Morrigan, and, unless you’re talking Galactus, goddesses beat aliens every time.
gnome de blog
December 25th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

338 wossname & 348 anna nimity:

Good points. I started college in the fall of ‘65, in the San Francisco Bay area. Women wore skirts to class. Men were supposed to wear coats and ties to dinner on Wednesdays and Sundays. That lasted till about December (we were Freshmen, so it took longer).

Stephen Stills summed it up as succinctly as anyone: “Something’s happening here/What it is ain’t exactly clear…”
gnome de blog
December 25th, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

It has to be said:

Deck us all with Boston Charley
Walla Walla, Wash. and Kalamazoo
Nora’ freezin’ on the trolley
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley ga-ROO!
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Well, it’s just after midnight and I’m going to bed. Merry Christmas, one and all!
Poteet
December 25th, 2009 at 2:40 am [Reply]

# 338 wossname — Thanks for the reminder that the Sixties era could also be seen as beginning at different times in different places. I started college later than the early Sixties, but I and some others were wearing girdles every day when we arrived, and the dumb women-only curfew was in place. So culturally, I’d say my college was behind the first wave, to use Thompson’s metaphor.

# 335 gnome — Thanks for the reminder. I used to hitch and pick up hitchhikers on occasion back in the day (which stands my hair on end in retrospect, but a lot of us did it), and I still remember the time I picked up a guy with long hair and discovered that he was a redneck (and I think he would have called himself some such, in fact). Yup, that was a clue.
Poteet
December 25th, 2009 at 2:44 am [Reply]

12/25 MW — This is so wonderful. I remember a few of us asking Moy and Giella if they would please, please show us Wilber’s former incarnation, and now they’ve done it as a holiday present, with another view of Abby as a bonus. *sniff* Thank you, thank you, MW.

And other comics are also showing us strange but cheery holiday messages. My first prize for the strangest so far goes to Spider-Man, but I haven’t seen all the others yet.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Farley's Revenge
December 25th, 2009 at 2:54 am [Reply]

MT: Uh-oh. Mark’s in trouble now! Sheriff Stogie is hot on his Trail…and he always gets his man(at least he does when Dingo is telling the story).

MW: Wilbur looked like a nerd but a sweet nerd. What happened to him to turn him into the sweater-wearing, sammich-snarfing, hermit whose only regular human contact is Dawn? I blame Mary. She’s so busy meddling in other people’s lives that she’s totally neglected Wilbur and God knows Dawn isn’t worth a plugged nickel when it comes to meddling.

No, Wilbur needs to be meddled. He needs to be meddled hard and long, Mary. Now get to work.

MC: Norm knows he’s in trouble when even Violet likes that movie.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2009 at 3:12 am [Reply]

Let’s see…just got home from a very low-key Christmas Eve get-together (high point: watching “A Christmas Story”), checked NORAD to see where Santa currently is (Forty Mile, Yukon, Canada), and looking at the early Friday funnies.

So, this seems as good a time as any for this!

Watch out, Mollificent, and other Washingtonians — Santa’s in your neighborhood next!
Anonymous
December 25th, 2009 at 3:16 am [Reply]

What kind of ~~Snapple~~ goes with a big plate of Christmas mush?
bats :[
December 25th, 2009 at 3:24 am [Reply]

363., 364. was me (thank you, mr. bats :[ , for “fixing” my computer). And I meant to ask what kind of wine goes with mush. Whatever it is, it apparently need to have a fine tangerine color…
Sheila Sternwell
December 25th, 2009 at 4:09 am [Reply]

MW: I’ve been tearing up all night at every little thing and seeing Wilbur as a college kid was no exception. If anyone even THINKS about playing Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song”, I am a goner.

DT: You too can have a Merry Christmas by scheming to essentially steal someone’s prized violin! Yay for crime!

FW: As if that turkey fork isn’t going to end up in someone’s neck by the end of the night.
Aviatrix, with Bells On
December 25th, 2009 at 4:39 am [Reply]

wossname @293 – I’m newish, but have had the same name, with an occasional but recognizable variation the whole time.

Merry Christmas Mudgeons. I just heard a clanking on the roof. Santa or raccoons?
willethompson
December 25th, 2009 at 7:04 am [Reply]

#367 Avatrix: Raccoons. Chained.
wossname
December 25th, 2009 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Merry Christmas! But while we enjoy the holiday (or whatever other holiday pleases you at this time of year), let’s take a moment to remember the shut-ins:

Cue, of course, who hasn’t seen his crib in weeks
Mrs. Phantom
Ted Confey
The Santaroymart heroin dealers
Duncan Daley’s brother
The entire cast of FW, locked in a prison of despair
Rusty qualifies as shut-in, I guess, since he can’t go anywhere
Guard Dog in Mutts, by the same logic (and one of the few that I actually do care about)

I’m sure there are many others that I’ve forgotten.
Lucky
December 25th, 2009 at 9:23 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey – “I have no ideas for a Christmas strip and it’s almost tee time, what am I going to do!? Oh, I’ll just slap some clip art together.”

Dennis the Menace – You know, the Keane kids are once again more menacing than you today.

Dick Tracy – Wow, now that’s the most random transition to holiday greetings I’ve ever seen.

Spider-Man – Oh nevermind, this is.

Funky Winkerbean – Funky knows that the only way to have a merry… no, happy holidays is to go as far as humanly possible from Cancerville. Of course when he returns, he’ll probably find out that Wally hung himself on Christmas eve.

Heart of the City – Having more than one Peanuts character as anything more than a figureless blob would’ve probably awakened Schulz’s army of lawyers.

Hi and Lois – In Finland, Santa drinks mulled wine at every house. Someone once calculated how long it would take him to sober up after consuming such mind-numbing amount of alcohol. I can’t remember how long that was, but is it any wonder that he comes just once a year.

Mark Trail – When did this turn into Dukes of Hazzard?

Mary Worth – It’s no flashback, but I guess it’ll have to do. Merry Christmas everybody!

Pluggers – Nothing says Christmas like an abandoned rusted truck.

Rose is Rose – “No, if the noise the cat made when you ripped its head off didn’t wake him up, nothing will.”
Miss Othmar
December 25th, 2009 at 9:55 am [Reply]

#353 Spotts1701: Yeah, you’d think she’d use the opportunity to have a happy tableau with not-yet-dead Grandma and Farley….

I enjoyed most of the Christmas themed-strips today. But I think I enjoyed this one the most.

Runners up: here and here (yesterday’s was pretty cute, too)

My least favorite? Ick, just ick.

Merry Christmas, everyone!
John C Fremont
December 25th, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

#334 TheDiva & #370 Lucky – Okay, so maybe Wally Winkerbean will hang himself for Christmas, but maybe it’ll be more like the way David Carradine hanged himself. Just knowing that maybe Wally found a transcendental moment of pleasure before the end offers at least one character in this strip a silver lining to this otherwise horrid existence. A moist silver lining, to be sure, but a silver lining none the less.

Seriously, I miss David Carradine.

Well, there are large snow drifts in every direction, and Mister Plow has done a marvelous job of sealing up our driveway with mounds of snow, ice, and sand. In the words of the Rankin-Bass Frosty, “Haaaappy biiiirthday!”
gleeb
December 25th, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

370 (Lucky): Check out Agnes. That’s how you say Christmas with a rusted-out truck.

Brenda: Why would he have heard of you? The last time you had any copy published he was in junior high school.

‘bean: He’s on a beach somewhere? What happens when people want their Christmas pizza? And with the Montonicentric angle this strip has, there’s no way people don’t eat Christmas pizza.

Monty: Oh, that’s cold. Not only does it state that he’s second-rate, it leaped out of the box and forced itself on him immediately upon opening.
Muffaroo
December 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

9CL – Why bother breaking it up into panels? So we can pretend that it’s a comic strip instead of a gimme?

Beetle – Chip’s not on the card. Guess he didn’t make the cut.

Dick – The Strad ukulele is now the size of a violin. If it continues at this rate, it will be larger than the Empire State Building by the middle of February.

Fred – Heh. The guy says it smells delicious and Fred agrees with him. I thought this kind of trenchant wit went out with Mark Twain. He which hath no stomach to this jest, let him depart; his passport shall be made, and crowns for convoy put into his purse. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d, and rouse him at the name of Basset. He that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, and say ‘To-morrow is Christmas, the day Fred Basset liked the way the turkey smelled.’ Then will he raise his blouse and show his scar, and say ‘This side I split on Basset’s day.’ This strip shall the good man tell to his son; and Christmas morning shall ne’er go by, from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remembered- we few, we happy few, we band of brothers, who saw that dog rise above the table and assert boldly, that he, Fred Basset, did like the smell of that steaming pile of turkey.

Marmaduke – He wrote the letter himself, on his computer. Same as the way he orders things online. Idiot.

Marfield – “On Bitsy!” he cried and his whip gave a snap
As onward he flew with a sleigh full of crap.

Pluggers – “On a hill, far away,
Stands an old Chevrolet
And its tires are as flat as a board
I’ll return there some day
To that old Chevrolet
And exchange it one day for a Ford.”

(That’s how Dad sang it to me.)

6 – What, the snowpeople live upstairs? And the fireplace sends all its heat up there? Guh? Way to make “Rose is Rose” look sane, and even intelligent.
Muffaroo
December 25th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

ps: Mighty late in the day to mention it, but the Yule Log has about 20 minutes left to go on WGN. Ho Ho Ho! (I have one on my iPod too that I got from their web site a few years back.)
Écureuil Écumant
December 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

MT: One bit of advice for the shur’f: Shoot first and ask questions later.
Comcis Fan
December 25th, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

I missed where Wilbur’s daughter is Princess Leia. Does this mean that Kurt is really Luke Skywalker and Wilbur is really, really … nah, couldn’t be, right? He was very forceful, however, in insisting on maintaining his correspondence with Kurt.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

Gazing upon that glossy photo of Wilbur and his manx, I’m reminded of An Officer and a Gentleman and the blonde skank who would do nothing short of terrorism to get a ring on her finger from a pilot. Wilbur seems young, thin, hairy, and frightened. She looks like the type of 70s girl who just saw her first Janis Joplin album cover and decided she was the NEW ONE. Best for you, Wilbur, that she fled town and had your spawn away from your controlling nature.

Last night, I sat down to write the third installment of Sheriff Buford Smallberries and… couldn’t. This current story arc in Mark Trail is so unbelievably bizarre, I need to wait to see how it turns out. Mark is going to serve jail time. He punched an officer of the law, stole his police car, alluded pursuit… These acts do not get one a citation for good citizenship. I need to wait to see all that happens before writing the conclusion.

To all of the curmudgeons, I wish you well today. Be you of whatever faith or no faith at all, let this be a time of peace for you. In the past twelve months, I have survived congestive heart failure and learned to live with diabetes. I have a great job that I never expected, a wonderful place to live, and people who love me. What more can we ask? Oh, yes. Josh gives me a place to release my creatures from the Id.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

A3G – Things I learned from today’s Apartment 3-G: A. Bobbie is a polytheist of some variety. B. Skating looks exactly like walking from the waist up. From now on, I’m going to choose to believe that everybody in the cast is using some unusual and amusing method of locomotion visible only below the panel.

Bizarro – …I’m sorry, Piraro, but this is just clunky. It actually would’ve been a lot funnier to just have a picture of a sasquatch in a Santa suit.

Crankshaft – Forced by tradition to give Christmas gifts, Crankshaft contents himself with hiding pins in the clothing he gives to his family members.

Curtis – Kwanzaa, dammit! Kwanzaaaaaa!

DT – Even ~~Squeaky Fromme~~ Dick Tracy villains love Christmas!

GT – Christmas: it’s the perfect time to get grabby with your spouse in front of a bunch of other people!

JP – Ooh, it’s a Twilight Zone episode, where a soldier is transported back in time to the birth of Christ!

Luann – Merry lazy rerun, everybody!

MT – So now we can add grand theft auto to the list. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

MW – Glee! I’m not at all surprised to find that Wilbur at 20 looked exactly like Wilbur now, only thin and with hair. I would love to read a spin-off strip about Wilbur and Abbey’s college years. Meanwhile, Dawn appears to be about to stab him in the throat with her mush spoon. Go for it, girl!

Momma – Merry indistinguishable scribbles, everybody!

OBH – I’m surprised she didn’t burst into flame stepping across the threshold.

Ghost-Who-Sails – Toned librarian chicks in bikini tops and diaphanous shirts? Best. Ship. Ever.

Pluggers – And as a Christmas gift, Pluggers has chosen not to flaunt its alleged blue-collar moral superiority!

PC – Merry slightly less indistinguishable scribbles, everybody!

SM – Ha ha, nice try, Spider-Man! For a minute there I almost thought there might be a little dramatic tension in this strip!
wossname
December 25th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

378 Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ – I am willing to bet, right here, right now, that Mark does not serve jail time.

How this will be accomplished, I’m not so sure, but I’m guessing the two cop cars go screaming onto the beach just as Rusty starts going “glub glub glub.” The deputy shurf helps Mark rescue Rusty. Sassy pees on both cars. The shurf wakes up and says, “Oh my, a boy’s life really was at stake” and all is forgiven. Or something like that.

Like everyone here, I’m eagerly awaiting part 3 of your trilogy, but understand why it has to wait a few days.
Major Bat Guano (if that IS your name)
December 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Looks like Mark punched the sherriff but he did not punch the deputy.
Steve the Pocket
December 25th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: I can relate.

Family Circus gave me a great present by actually being funny today.

My Cage: It’s a shame you can’t very well portray tone of voice in a comic strip; I wonder how many people will get that “Violet, you’re horrible” isn’t meant to be read like an insult, but with the inflection with which one might say, “Jimmy, you’re from Canada, right? Do they celebrate Christmas the same way there?” That alone is the sort of reason I love this comic strip.
wossname
December 25th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

381 Major Bat Guano – Give him time, he hasn’t met the deputy yet. (But if he does, we’ll have to find a new song.)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 25th, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

While the niece and nephew are enthralled with their new Wii, and the doofus bro-in-law is avoiding me out of terror of my head-cold germs, and the sister is trying to exercise off the three cookies she ate yesterday, I’m taking a moment to check in….

380 wossname: I agree with your prediction; I’m figuring Sheriff Buford McStogie will see the unsubmerged portions of Rusty and immediately leap into action, forgetting all about Mark’s transgressions. And then, overcome by the power of Mark’s virtuous intentions, he’ll decide to forgive and forget, sending Mark on his way with a hearty pat on the back and an invitation to stop by and say “hey” should he ever pass that way again.

381 Major Bat Guano (great name–love that movie): I had exactly the same line running through my brain this morning; I would have taken it further if I didn’t have a cold that’s fogging up my synapses.

Oh, and for Christmas, I got Wilbur with hair and the sort of stripey polo shirt that I think I imagined him in at some point, so I’m pretty happy. Plus, Abby looks cute but dorky enough that their little love affair is almost believable.

Okay, back to the family (whom I love, really, as long as I get little breaks from them!). Merry Christmas!
Doug
December 25th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

As my AP world teacher Mrs. Oldenstal likes to say, “all dates[of eras] are arbitrary. Not capricious, but arbitrary”.
Perky Bird
December 25th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

You’re a Plugger if the old truck has been sitting in your yard for so long that a tree is growing in it.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope yours is great.

And tomorrow should bring us the beloved Curtis Kwaanzaa tale, if we’re all real good.
dreadedcandiru2
December 25th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

353 – Spotts1701 : It’s a good thing that Lynn will, after all, be going to straight reprints some time in the next four months; that way, we can have Christmas without martyrdom.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#387 dreadedcandiru2 – Ah, the final step in the progression from “no, I’ll still be working” to “fuck it, why should I have to keep making new comics just because I’m not dead yet?” Fun, fun.
Aviatrix, with Bells On
December 25th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @379 A3G: Segway! Or submarine.

wossname @380 – That’s exactly what I’m expecting. But we can imagine that instead Mark kills them both and leaves them for the crabs and pelicans, depending on the fact that he carries no ID, and all men in his universe look the same to allow him to safely flee to Lost Forest.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#389 Aviatrix, with Bells On – I was thinking clunky, ’50s-era roller skates, but Segway is good too.
Charterstoned
December 25th, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

MW – Hey, it looks like Wilbur had a least a stump of a left arm back in college–but in the second panel, his left arm is completely missing. Is that why Dawn is feeding him the mush?
Aviatrix, with Bells On
December 25th, 2009 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @390 – Oh yeah! With metal wheels. And how about a Happy Fun Ball? You remember, the kind with those antennae/ear things you held onto and bounced?
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

Absolutely! And at least one old-school schooter.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Uh, “scooter.” I think my brain is telling me to go play DooM…
Poteet
December 25th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

# 384 bourbon babe — I share your gratitude. Especially given the other strange Christmas greetings in today’s strips, seeing Wilbur and Abby young and radiant with joy is a real kick. Thanks again, Moy and Giella.
Lucky
December 25th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

@ #392 Aviatrix, with Bells On – I believe most people call them kangaroo balls.
Anonymous
December 25th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Damn, do Garmin’s programmers live at Charterstone? I’ve been watching the update program extract for 20 minutes. No actual work being done, just the preparation. I could have installed Windows 7 in less time. Now that it’s finished preparing, it could take up to 2 hours. Garmin, leave Santa Royale NOW!
The Mighty Captain E
December 25th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

396 Lucky – Some people call them Hippity Hops.
The Mighty Captain E
December 25th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

Happy Fun Ball was an SNL skit.
“Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!”
Anonymous
December 25th, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Now Garmin needs to fire Margo. The update program, like Ms. Magee, has taken all from me (hard drive space) and wants more. If I find this update has infested my GPS with clowns, I’m tossing it off the highest Alp I can reasonable find.
Baka Gaijin
December 25th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Add Cathy to that firing list. The maps are too fat to fit in my Garmin.

Yes, I’m the anonymous one above. Cathy must have munched my cookies when I wasn’t looking. Bitch.
Ukulele Ike
December 25th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

What’s up with the Chronicle site? I haven’t been able to access the color comix for two days.

I REALLY want to see Wilbur thin, and with hair. A lot.
Ukulele Ike
December 25th, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

Okay, I just read all the color comics at the Seattle PI site. Wilbur was a toad — back in 1974 I would have burned him with a baggie of oregano and given him a swirlie afterwards.
KarMann
December 25th, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

@Major Bat Guano (if that IS your rank): Just wondering, did you go with Major instead of Colonel for extra humor, to distinguish you from the movie character, or by just plain ol’ misremembering?
Muffaroo
December 25th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

I’ve seen those balls you sit on and bounce called “Hoppity Hop” as well. Over and over. There used to be a TV ad where they had some kid voices shouting “HOPPITY HOP!” and the way the ad worked, the announcer would say a phrase: “Get the ball!” and the kid voices would yell “HOPPITY HOP!” “It’s hops of fun!” “HOPPITY HOP!” and so on. Repeated long enough for the audience to go through Anger, Denial, and Bargaining (ads were usually 60 seconds then). And then they’d show it again. Recently the technique seems to have come back, but at least there are more stations to tune to in an effort to get away from it.
commodorejohn
December 25th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

#402 Ukulele Ike – Huh, the Chron’s been working fine for me. Is your browser or security software set to block images from cst.rbma.com?

Anyway, Young Wilbur can be found here. Merry Christmas!
Poteet
December 25th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

# 406 commodorejohn — Thank you. Seeing a much bigger Wilbur and Abby is interesting. If one looks at her face alone, she could be his mother, and that hat is just weird. The bare midriff seems ahead of its time, and Wilbur seems to have a bigger rack than she does. All of this, of course, makes the strip even better.

9CL — Ooh, subtle.
odinthor
December 25th, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Curtis. —

Embrace it and spread it year ‘round!

Curtis, no MRSA jokes on Christmas, please.

Dilbert. — Win.

GT. — OMG! The kids didn’t thaw out in time! Were they stuffed or un-stuffed?

MC. — The sequel, “It’s a Hideous Death,” is much better, especially that part when blood starts running out the kitchen tap while the mother is humming “Silent Night.” Makes me grab my hanky every time!

Meaning of Lila. — Win! But . . . “Belching”???

W&E. — And a “Doot’in doo-doo” to you, too!
bats :[
December 25th, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

Gosh, it’s after 5 in the Old Pueblo! A quiet Christmas here, some present opening, an early showing of “Sherlock Holmes,” and, of course, a mashup. Honestly, this is the first thing that came to my mind when I read it.
wossname
December 25th, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

389 Aviatrix, with Bells On – When you say “Mark kills them both” do you mean the shurf and the deputy shurf? Or Rusty and Sassy?
Phred22
December 25th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: To repeat part of what I said in the previous thread, has Dennis finally proven he’s not the menace he used to be in this Christmas offering? In the old days, when he opened a roomful of gifts on the C-Day, what he’d say was usually, “Is this all?!!”
Major Bat Guano (if that is my name)
December 25th, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

Yeah, though memories of Major in Fawlty Towers vs the twitchy Colonel did prompt me to misremember. That’s my story.
Major Bat Guano (if that is my name)
December 25th, 2009 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

Wait why is Mark Trail throwing gasoline on the campfire!?
Aviatrix, with Bells On
December 25th, 2009 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

wossname @410 Whoa, he kills Rusty and Sassy, then the deputy shoots him dead, and then it turns out to be … Mark’s Evil Twin!
Ed Dravecky
December 25th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

Every time a bell rings in Funky Winkerbean, an angel gets cancer.
Rusty
December 25th, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

#387: Do we have anything in writing to confirm Lynn is going to stop the new strips? If so, it is a very merry christmas.
Ukulele Ike
December 26th, 2009 at 12:01 am [Reply]

commodorejohn@406: Thanks for the tip….I’ll check on that shit.

9CL read elsewhere than the Chron: Never thought I’d want to see Gran doing a Betty Grable, but she looks all right!
Muffaroo
December 26th, 2009 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Ed Dravecky @415 – Ah, I love that story!
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Huh. I was wrong earlier about Garmin and Santa Royale. The programmers must live in Glenwood. You know, Rex Morganland. The install program is still installing. 1%. One freaking percent in the last 7 hours. It had better be spending some of that time putting some grade-A June-pouting on the GPS.
KarMann
December 26th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin: You know the recent Doonesbury story about the guy doing sound engineering for a GPS celebrity voices project? Imagine hearing June telling you just where to go, in loving detail….
Uncle Lumpy
December 26th, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

Kwanzaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Aviatrix, with Bells On
December 26th, 2009 at 2:08 am [Reply]

People, more snark please. Your silence here has forced me to read People of Wal-Mart, and now I’m starting to want leopard print spandex.
True Fable
December 26th, 2009 at 2:30 am [Reply]

KWANZAA!!!! Yes the season has brought my FAVORITE time of the year in Curtis!! Something about 2 boys, a hippo and a hare.

Sounds like the setup to a shaggy dog joke to me!
8th Man Fan
December 26th, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

#419 Baka Gaijin: The slow GPS update install might be due to not enough disk space on your PC, the device, or both. Realize you’ve already put several hours into it, but may have to bite the bullet, kill the install, open up the space, then start again.

Source: GPSMagazine.com:

Question: I am receiving an error message that I don’t have enough space to install the update. What can I do?
Answer: First, make sure you have enough free hard disk space; the update installs the map to your C drive first, then copies it over to the GPS. Also, the 2009 maps take up slightly more space than previous versions, so if you’ve got a lot of photos and/or mp3’s on the internal memory, you may need to delete them. Most nuvi models will update without a problem, but if you’re still short on space, try deleting some of the additional languages and voices to free up some additional space.

The update itself it about 2GB, so downloading over dial-up is not an option.
True Fable
December 26th, 2009 at 2:36 am [Reply]

I don’t care about Dick Tracy however, my son Galevav gave me a beginner’s violin for Christmas – really! I’ll be on the lookout for a squinty eyed sadistic police detective.

Gift violins are like drums – it’s not a matter of whether you can play them when you get them or not, but it speaks volumes in terms of patience of the giver if they live with you.
Mary Kay Commando
December 26th, 2009 at 2:47 am [Reply]

commodorejohn! Sir! I am up too late on Christmas listening to “The Funnies.” ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

On the other hand, I’ve closed iTunes, and “Apartment 3-G” is still playing, blithely free of application. It’s, uh, alarming.
True Fable
December 26th, 2009 at 2:59 am [Reply]

Fist O Justice Holiday Extravaganza On Ice When Rusty was first trapped, the top of his head was even with the bumper. now the tide has come in and the water is up to the bumper. If Rusty is still alive – and this is Mark Trail, y’all, so you know he will be – then it is only because his nostril are still able to poke above in incoming tide.

Meddle Eyre Is he trying to convince his inner voice? yep, he’s Wilbur Weston’s son all right – flaky as hell.

Rex Morgan, SOS June rushes into Brooke’s room and rips away the blanket! This could get very interesting. Or, it could simply continue on it way.
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 3:16 am [Reply]

12/26

GA — Gee, Rufus, maybe you could, y’know, do some things like getting Boogie-Woogie vaccinated, tested for fe-leuk, neutered, checked and treated for fleas and intestinal parasites, provided with food, water, and shelter, etc., or else find a good owner who would do those things for him, and not just let him wander off again as a stray. Y’know, the sort of thing that a responsible, intelligent, caring cat lover would actually do. *rant ends*

MW — Dare I hope that the meeting between Wilbur and Kurt will be immediately followed by a DNA test, or is something as common-sense as that even possible in the Worthiverse?

RMMD — June, I am totally on your side. Use a small whip if necessary. I’m an utter slob, but by gawd, the only person allowed to turn my house into a pigsty is me.
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 3:20 am [Reply]

# 421 Uncle Lumpy — Thanks and yay! Curtis goes on my list for the duration.
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 3:29 am [Reply]

12/26

A3G — Dang. I was hoping for more advice on how to avoid the wrath of the gods.

ReFoob — Just you wait, Phil. You’ll get yours for playing around with Connie’s affections. You’ll end up married to a smart beautiful woman with no Foobian rugrats like Mike and Liz, happily pursuing your career and rarely appearing in the strip. Now aren’t you sorry? Huh? Huh?
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 3:37 am [Reply]

#424 8th Man Fan: The thing that’s so frustrating is that the stupid program runs everything from the temporary folder. It can’t be changed to the expansive second drive that’s just perfect for these 5 Gig programs that come from 2 Gig install files for a device with less than 2 Gig of RAM. Still, with all this data I’ve already downloaded it requires a connection to the Internet to do the install.

Actually, this is Clem from Rose is Rose, “hogging” all my resources for itself.
KarMann
December 26th, 2009 at 3:38 am [Reply]

@True Fable #427: You never know. Rusty may have gnawed his own legs off to escape. Now that’d be a storyline to remember!

And yeah, in MW, it’s not good storytelling to be showing us things in the thought balloons, but then have those thoughts as though he’s hiding something from himself. I can maybe imagine someone saying “I have my reasons” to another person, but to themselves??

Heck, let’s go ahead and finish off the new day’s funnies and not-funnies.
Baldo: Another case of giving a (non-)character awkwardly-worded dialogue that you would never hear anyone actually say, just to make the “joke” work. Boo.
EC: After considerable pondering, I realized those were supposed to be blueprint-style dimensions around the pictured cake. But for the life of me, it still looks like flies buzzing around a steaming, stinky pile to me, at least at Chron resolution.
FC: Oh, you’ll get your just deserts, all right, young lady!
GA: Isn’t Kitty the wrong species to be Boogie Woogie’s bitch? I mean, right species for BW, wrong species for bitch.
HtH makes a transparent ploy to convince us that we shouldn’t be trying to give advice to the comic artists.
MT: Aside from what I said above in reply to Mr. Fable: Don’t drop it, Mark! Don’t drop it!
MC: It feels almost like I’ve seen that movie by now, I’ve heard so many references to it. I really should get around to it sometime soon. Might have a good chance to catch it on the big screen next week.
And yes, I mean A Christmas Story, not It’s A Wonderful Life. What kind of a Philistine do you take me for?
NS: Got beaten to it by Piranha Club. Oh, the shame!
Phantom: Oh, boy! Pirates! I can’t wait! And neither can the Phantom, I bet!
S-M: If you’re going to make comparisons of impressive firepower, Spidey, might I suggest naming a battleship or a large cruiser? Aircraft carriers like the Nimitz practically don’t have guns or firepower in the conventional sense, by comparison.
Other Coast: Artist demonstrates complete ignorance of coffee-growing by talking about “locally grown… coffee beans.”
Ziggy: Still wearing pants!
BrS: Yes, that’s right, that’s why we still read newspapers instead of getting info online. Because you’re guaranteed classy grammatical structures like “she’s be.”
dale
December 26th, 2009 at 4:14 am [Reply]

Mark Trail

Rusty should be soggy toast by now.
The situation was so unstable that a little dog knocked the car off the jack. There’s no way they can jack the thing up with wave action scouring the sand out from under anything on the ground.
Towing the car off will shred the kid’s body.

Do cars still come with bumper jacks? The last one I had was a ‘72 Firebird. Doing the snow tires was so scary I bought a scissors jack.
Saluki
December 26th, 2009 at 5:37 am [Reply]

I think what June meant to say was that she wanted to see Brook on the bridge of the starship.
True Fable
December 26th, 2009 at 6:46 am [Reply]

I figure the magic Jackelrod ball will claim that the wave action and eroding sand made it possible somehow for Rusty to wriggle free of the car. No, I didn’t say it made sense or had a logical, scientific explanation! I’m just saying the magic Jackelrod ball would probably come up with something like that.
Lucky
December 26th, 2009 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Garfield – Whoa, can’t say that I ever expected a Garfield character to be outed on Boxing Day.

Hi & Lois – I just love the way Thirsty looks like he has spent hours silently staring through the window at nothing in particular, trying to suppress his desire to get totally drunk and beat his unthankful wife. Wait, did I say love? I meant to say condemn, deeply condemn.

Mark Trail – Rusty probably managed to free himself off-panel as there’s no other way to explain him not being drowned by now. Then again, that sheriff is about to shoot Mark, so maybe this is the long-awaited final story arc.

Marmaduke – Just be glad Adolf didn’t say that it looks like what I think it looks like.

Pluggers – No, considering how he’s holding a full pawful of pills, I believe that’s alcohol. Holiday season always sees an upward spike in suicide rate, even outside Funkyverse.
zerowolf
December 26th, 2009 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Curtis: Two boys who enjoyed eachothers company and have a secret spot in the woods? Is this year’s Kwanzaa theme, Brokeback Mountain?
wossname
December 26th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

GA – OK, call me a sentimental sap, but I got teary-eyed over Boogie Woogie finally being appreciated. (Although I completely agree with Poteet @ 428 as far as what Rufus should do next, having done all that stuff last spring for a stray cat who is now part of our family.)

MW – ooh! ahh! the suspense builds! What will Kurt’s “reasons” be? And how did Kurt know where to go to find Wilbur? (I suppose Wilbur put his full home address on his Facebook page.)

MT – ooh! ahh! the suspense builds! I’m starting to agree with the “Rusty freed himself somehow” camp. I guess it would be pointless to ask if Rusty was on the right side of the car, since the car was flipping 180 degreees every day back when this scene started.
zerowolf
December 26th, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: The cab driver looks more like Kurt than Wilbur.
gleeb
December 26th, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Fuzzy: Ha! Different English-speaking countries have slightly different vocabularies! Why has this goldmine of humor been unexplored before now?

H&J: The secret of comedy? Timing.
Peter Hillock
December 26th, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

MT: Maybe Elrod is setting up a homage to the trapped-under-a-tree-as-the-water-rises scene in Sometimes a Great Notion. Just to see how many angry letters he can get from parents of traumatized children.
Gabacho
December 26th, 2009 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – so Wilbur’s bastard is Scott? Why is he taking a cab? He was just upstairs at Mary’s for Christmas gruel.
Miss Othmar
December 26th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Zits actually made me do a spit-take this morning. Nice that I can still be surprised on the comics page…
8th Man Fan
December 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

PMP: Santa’s about to get some. A3G: Martin McGee gets some. Garfield: Jon (!) gets some. And I’m spending the holiday reading a comics-snarking blog. (sigh)

P.S. #431: Baka Gaijin: Some Temp folder info, in case it applies.
agony
December 26th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

9CL – if that’s Gran doing the Betty Grable, where are the seams on her stockings? Jeez, Brooke – research!
Will
December 26th, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Garfield: I think this is Jim Davis’ way of screwing with the “Garfield without Garfield” guys.

I’m with True Fable at #435. Rusty was probably able to dig his leg out when the tide got a little higher. Either that or he drowned, and Mark will be shot while trying futilely to get to the car. One or the other.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
December 26th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Happy Holidays to everybody.

GT: I have nothing specific to comment about, for a change, but I will repeat what I have said from time to time: I find this strip nearly incomprehensible. Even if I could manage to follow the plots, such as they are, the drawing style gives me a headache. I find it difficult to look at any individual panel. So I avoid this strip, maybe I glance at it. It is definitely, in my book, one of the five worst comic strips carried by the Houston Chronicle. What an honor. What’s the worst? I have to t hink about that. there are fifteen-twenty strips competing for the worst five. Maybe more.

I don’t think it’s even worth snarking at, that’s how crappy it is. In my Bronx opinion.
bats :[
December 26th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

421. Uncle Lumpy: it could only be better if there were a very British comic strip character (yeah, it’s probably going to be Fred Bassett) telling us an original story for Boxing Day. At least it would be shorter.
odinthor
December 26th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Baldo. — Eh, I was going to write “Forced Pun of the Year Award,” but it isn’t even a pun. It’s just forced. Better answer to “Gracie, can you make me soar?”: “Sure, come over here and I’ll punch you in the nose!”

GT. — Don’t change the subject, Gil. Enough of this coaching crap! What did you do with the kids, you monster?

H&J. — Um, I didn’t know that the day after Christmas was the same as New Year’s Day. Dang, the thangs I larn from them comix!
commodorejohn
December 26th, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

#426 Mary Kay Commando – Goodness, that is a little frightening. Just let us know if your computer starts dishing out Margo-style verbal abuse, okay?

A3G – Aw, how sweet. Martin’s show his baby-mama that he sort of maybe might be willing to buy her a Christmas gift in exchange for making out! Romantic, no?

BrS – “I’ll deny you, mister!”

Curtis – Woo-hoo! Although a hare named “Hare” makes me think of “an ape named Ape” from the George Of The Jungle theme song…

DT – Dick Tracy taunts us with an explanation of just what the hell the plot might be before cutting away. I think Locher’s trying to screw with us.

FC – Well, they’re Catholics; I guess she’s hoping for transubstantiation.

FW – Lamest. Love. Triangle. Ever.

Luann – Christ, how hard is it to write a week of Luann strips? All you have to do is determinedly not move the plot along.

MT – This storyline is just so awesome. I don’t think I could have asked for a better Christmas present.

MW – Oh my God, is Wilbur’s maybe-son taking a taxi driven by Aldo Kelrast!?

MC – Pure, unmitigated win.

OBH – This kind of thing is why I love this strip.

Phantom – Hey, dude, I know that pirates play by their own rules, but drinking on the job? Bad idea.

Pluggers – Pluggers can barely function without a constant intake of prescription medication.

RMMD – Ah, how I’ve missed June and her shock-and-awe method of dealing with people who annoy her.

SM – Ha ha! Big Shot thinks Spider-Man actually has a spider-sense! Also, he’s holding a car hostage? Even Simon freaking Krandis was more credible as a villain.
True Fable
December 26th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Oh man, I was having such a merry Christmas with Airman Kitten Fable and the Fabulous Fable Boys, I totally missed out on snarking the Christmas strips!

Boxing day reversal, here is Christmas Snark:

Judge Parker Ever the class act, Eduardo Barreto and Woody Wilson honor our military. On behalf of my Air Force daughter, thank you guys!

Mark Trail Nothing says Christmas in the backwoods like a guy getting chased by a squad car!

Mary Worth Wilbur is a hat man! Somebody tell Margo there’s another hat man for her!

Rex Morgan Another class move from Graham Nolan and Woody Wilson. Amen my brothers!
bats :[
December 26th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

I hope everyone had a good good good holiday!

422. Aviatrix: evidently you haven’t been at the People of Walmart that long — otherwise you’d not only want some clothing in leopard print spandex, but also want it three sizes too small. (“Well, it’s spandex, isn’t it? It’s supposed to stretch.”)

425. True Fable: what a cool gift! Maybe you can practice (at least in nicer weather), in your church’s little cemetery — if your efforts don’t sound that perfect, your audience won’t complain, or at least the spirit of Susan Hayward as Borte can tell them that it’s the plaintive notes of a Khuur (horse-head fiddle). That would be keen, too. :)

428. Poteet re GA: you have to take baby-steps with Rufus: his one Bright Idea for the month was taking Kitty to the vet when she got sick. Maybe taking care of BW is his January Bright Idea…

442. Gabacho re MW: I don’t think Kurt=Scott. While both are blond, Kurt apparently has collegiate skin, zitty and spotty. Mary would never let someone like that in her apartment.
TheDiva
December 26th, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

Belated Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it!

yesterBean: By spending the holiday by neglecting his wife, children, and nephew home for Christmas for the first time in ten years and suffering from severe PTSD, Funky has now managed to finally out-asshole Crankshaft.

Today:

C’shaft: Because he despises anything that brings people joy and happiness, Rose. I mean, it’s a no-brainer.

Curtis: Is Ho Yay one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa?

FW: Wait, someone actually published Tales of a Creepy, Morose Widower? When did that happen?

MW: Don’t do it, Kurt! Be content to think of your dad as that geeky-but-not-entirely-repulsive guy in yesterday’s picture. If you see what he’s become, you’ll never outgrow the scars.

Also, is there a hurricane or are the palm trees growing parallel to the street?
Anonamuse
December 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Hey, all! Hope everyone has been and is continuing to enjoy the holidays!

What with all the chaos yesterday here at my sister’s house, I had a chance to visit CC only once. Had just enough time to check the comment count and quickly scroll through the postings. Still trying for 3,000?! :)

I have nothing scintillating to add at the moment, but I did notice that y’all had a brief Walmart discussion going yesterday. My family never shops there, but I do have one amusing (I hope) story I could tell concerning that store…

Both my husband and I are very non-materialistic; at least, I thought that attitude included the both of us. Once we had kids, though, he began to buy them tons of toys, etc. I prefer simplicity and the less stuff I have, the happier I am, but I just gave up after a while. Resistance was futile.

Anyhoo…one day about five years ago, my hubby arrives home and shortly thereafter I find installed in our family room a life-size, singing and dancing Santa Claus! The absolute definition of tackiness and purchased from Walmart, naturally!

My kids loved it immediately and ever since, it has been trotted out right after Thanksgiving and stands in its corner until I just can’t stand it anymore! Actually, I always hate it, but try to shut up about it for as long as I can.

This stupid thing is set to singing Christmas songs (only the secular ones such as “Jingle Bells,” “Frosty the Snowman,” “We Wish You A Merry Christmas,” and so on) at the slightest provocation. Turn a light on or off, open or close a door, open or close the shutters in the room, or even just make a loud noise, and off he goes! He drives me crazy, and if you were a fly on the wall at my house, you might just think that he has literally driven me around the bend!

I talk to him, telling him that I can’t stand him and would he please shut the f*ck up?! I do this every time I pass him and he starts his cheery song and dance. I am definitely a Curmudgeon! :)

The single redeeming quality this hunk of plastic possesses (well, only in my opinion in my family) is that he’d be a great burglar alarm! Anyone entering and passing by him would set him off and we’d immediately wake up. In fact, Santa would probably scare the poor robber so much that he’d take off running, never to be seen again!

We have, actually, startled unwitting neighbors who take care of our animals during the week following Christmas when we’re off skiing. Almost gave one guy a heart attack, I think!

End of silly little story, but with one important disclaimer…

We’re not Pluggers…really!
Uncle Lumpy
December 26th, 2009 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#453) –

Is Ho Yay one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa?

You bet! And the other six are “WTF”!
kkarenb
December 26th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

428 Poteet Re MW – The DNA test will be handled by the same person who identified Wally Winkerbean’s remains.

Also, Poteet – you haven’t crossed the slobdom line until the crew of “Hoarders” shows up in your yard. That’s my philosophy.
Calico
December 26th, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Curtis –
Here comes Kwaanza
So much funzzaa!
I love it! Especially the Energizer Bunny cameo.

#456 – Re: Hoarders – what a show.
Calico
December 26th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

#300 – Haha, the dreaded supper (or tea time) with Hyacinth and her long-suffering hubby (Richard, I believe).

“It’s pronounced Bouquet! Boooquet!”
bats :[
December 26th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

450. commodorejohn re MW: pretty eerie stuff. No doubt one of those holiday “ghost stories,” a la Dickens…
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

JP: Let’s see…. Rocky has a violent temper and hates his own children. He’s a keeper!

SM: Didn’t Spidey fwipp one of Big insert noun here’s hands a couple days ago? And why doesn’t Spidey just cover him in webbing? And how long does it take to pull a friggin’ trigger, anyway? And why am I putting more mental effort into this strip than Lee & Lieber have in years?

MT: Mark, instead of carrying on your boldfaced conversation with whatever God of the Woodlands you pray to, you might want to scoot on over to that car there and have a look-see.

I do think that Mark needs to take some Chuck-Norris punchin’ lessons so that when he punches someone, he stays punched. How quickly did the sheriff recover? It helped, though, that Mark insisted on driving the speed limit the whole way to the beach—”Gosh, I wish this weren’t a 25 mph zone!”

MW: Kurt, given that Aldo Kelrast is your cab driver, you might want to be sure that there’s not a bottle of Johnny Walker in his left hand, or you and your reasons are going to end up in Aldo’s Gulch of Death.

A3G: Um, Gabriella, I think that Martin just gave you a pocket calculator. Not sure that’s worth giving him any tongue.

444 8th Man Fan: There’s a fun game: How many comic-strips losers are getting more action than I am? Answer: a lot. (Okay, maybe it’s not such a fun game.)
Tim O'Shenko the Not-Quite-As-Lurky-As-In-Former-Times Lurker
December 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

#450 commodorejohn: I was thinking the same thing. Aldo’s back, it’s a Christmas Miracle!!

RMMD: I wonder if Brook will be asked to “clean the garage” also. http://joshreads.com/?p=960 (I don’t know the first thing about html, and am really too lazy to learn, hence the rather crude link.)

MT: This strip used to be delightfully insane, what with the talking potatoes and random close-ups of wildlife. Lately it’s just been getting insaner and insaner. The font keeps getting bolder, Rusty and his damn dog keep getting stupider, and Mark, despite his ostensible outdoorsman’s knowledge, is even stupiderer yet. Monday will see him throwing the jack at the sheriff then running down to the beach to PUNCH THE TIDE BACK.
Amateur
December 26th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

MW: Hey, Captain Stottlemeyer is driving a cab! I’m so glad Ted Levine is finding work post-Monk.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

Curtis: A hare named “Hare”. I guess Billingsley turned the animal naming over to Pastis.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Oh. That was me at 463.
Bryan
December 26th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

460, bourbon babe, unbuckled: JP: Let’s see…. Rocky has a violent temper and hates his own children. He’s a keeper!

They’re not his children. It was mentioned in an earlier strip that Godiva Bigtits is a habitual adopter of Third World kids. Doesn’t make him any less of a dink, though.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

As sung by Mark Trail:

I punched the sheriff
But I didn’t punch the deputy, oh no!
I punched the sheriff
But I didn’t punch the deputy,
Yeah! All around in this beach town,
They’re trying to track me down;
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the punching of a deputy,
For the nose of a deputy.
But I say:

I punched the sheriff.
But I swear it was for Rusty’s sake.
I say: I punched the sheriff – Oh, gosh! –
And they say it was a big mistake.

Sheriff Stogie always hated me,
For breaking into that store:
Every time that I stole a jack,
He said hey, son, give that back –
He said hey, son, give that back.
And so:

I punched the sheriff.
But I swear it was for Rusty’s sake.
Where was the deputy?
I say: I punched the sheriff,
And I hope that Rusty’s still awake.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

465 Bryan: Yes, I remember something about that. But if they’re married, and she’s adopting kids, isn’t he still their father? Unless they were there before him–but then why did he marry into that family?

Anyway, you’re correct: The details don’t mitigate the dickishness.
Buck Ripsnort
December 26th, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Marvin: I saw the face of Satan in my Saturday comics. Just on appearance alone, this little vermin beats DtM for menacing.

Spidey: But Dennis is still more menacing than Big Shit– “Stop or I’ll shoot that inanimate object!” And how’s about Sandman getting off his ass at some point?
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#444 8th Man Fan on me: Changing the location of the temp folder isn’t the point. The point is, slapping some files onto a GPS shouldn’t be like a Dick Tracy storyline, having a long unnecessarily complex, repetitive setup only to peter out into an unsatisfying ending. It shouldn’t be like a Dagwood sandwich, big, complex, unwieldy, ready to fall over at any moment. It shouldn’t take as long as a day in Judge Parker.

Instead it should be quick and easy, like Beetle and Sarge. Wait, no, there’s gotta be a better comic metaphor. How about, quick and easy like Toggle and Doonesbury’s daughter? Like Ted Forth and an original-in-package Star Wars vinyl cape Jawa MOC figurine? I’m running out of metaphors here so I’ll stop.
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: This storyline is Elrod’s Aldomania. No way is this strip ever again going to create this level of excitement during our lifetimes. Thanks for the Christmas present, Jack.
bats :[
December 26th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

466. bb,u: if you’re going to mash Bob Marley, you really do need some backup singers…

(Although, given Mark’s proclivities, some all-raccoon crooners — raccrooners?– might work, too.)
Amateur
December 26th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Curtis: Oh boy, it’s a very Curtis Kwanzaa! With a hare named “Hare”! I knew Billingsley wouldn’t let us down.
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

# 456 kkarenb — You mean there’s actually a TV show about people who fill their houses with…argh. Now there’s an incentive to try to dig out.
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

#294 Muffaroo on Mark Trail: The last think Rusty’ll see is Sassy’s peeing cooter. Ha ha HA!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

471 bats :[ — Rastakitties—excellent!

And now I’m dreaming of someday being serenaded by raccrooners (bearing murlow, of course!).
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

469 Baka Gaijin: Like a Mark Trail jailbreak?
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

#236 Sister Sestina on Xanadu: Wait, what? There’s a musical play for Xanadu, the Movie? Next thing you know there’ll be a stage play for Hairspray, the Movie or an ABBA song or something.
B. Racoon
December 26th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Greetings friends bats :[ @471 and bourbon babe @475.
It just so happens we have just the backup singers for you. They are even called “The Racrooners”. Their names from left to right is Racoon 1, Racoon 2, and Racoon 3. For some reason we allowed Steven Pastis to name them.

By the way. Did you get a chance to see Gasoline Alley today? The plan is working. “Boogie Woogie” has gained their trust. The plan can now proceed to destroy this strip.
Baka Gaijin
December 26th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#476 bourbon babe, etc: Good one. That inspired this: Quick and easy like Sassy and a bumper jack on sand.
Thursday Next
December 26th, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

Book recommendation, I’ve never seen it mentioned on this blog, though I might have missed it. I got the awesomest Christmas present yesterday: Masterpiece Comics. Its all great literature done as comics, like Mary Worth is Lady MacBeth (there’s never been anything better), Ziggy is Voltaire’s Candide, Charlie Brown is Kafka’s Bug. Oh, and Little Lulu is Pearl in the Scarlet Letter. You’ve got to see it, it’s wonderful.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

478 B. Racoon: Complete with pompadours! Very nice!

480 Thursday Next (great name—are you a Jasper Fjord fan?): I think someone linked to some pages from this book online—maybe to the Garfield and Mary Worth sections? It was great!
Dr. Weird
December 26th, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

The 12/25 Beetle Bailey…

It had FULL FRONTAL in it! I mean, we NEVER see anyone’s face directly from the front as we did with Zero (which says that it can’t be clip art)… it’s always from a side angle.

Thinking about full frontal made me muse about the recent DC comic Gotham City Sirens, in which Poison Ivy, Catwoman and Harley Quinn live together in an apartment and get into hijinks.

It’s Apartment 3G with spandex! A ditzy blonde, a redhead and a cruel brunette. Granted, Tommie doesn’t hate men and humanity the way Ivy does, so it’s not a perfect comparison.
odinthor
December 26th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

I want to see:

Cue as Richard III (“Horse! Horse! My kingdom for Horse!”)

Mark Trail as Hamlet (“To punch or not to punch…”)

Baldo as Gollum (“‘64 rag-top Impala! My precious!”)
Amateur
December 26th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#480 — I second Bourbon Babe’s enthusiasm for your screenname! Also, your book sounds great, but even awesomer is this book that I got.
150
December 26th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail and Mary Worth are delivering like so few comics can. Car chases and old photographs…this is the best week ever. Merry Christmas indeed.
wossname
December 26th, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

Is it a sign of mental illness that I’m eagerly anticipating tomorrow morning’s glacially-paced steps forward in MW and JP, and frustrated in advance knowing that MT will just be the history of holly or something, and we’ll have to wait another day for some action?

Maybe I’ll set the alarm for 12:01 a.m.
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

# 486 wossname — You expect the plots to advance on a Sunday, instead of just recapping the glacial progress of the previous six days? Perhaps a little lie-down would be helpful:-).
ChristianPinko
December 26th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

DT – Panel 3, Phil Harmonic, Jr.’s, “I rock!” makes me so very happy.

#480 – I saw that book in Borders. My favorite was Batman as Raskolnikov.

In re Margo v. June: I’d have to go against conventional wisdom & put my money on June. I think Margo’s ferocity is greatly overrated. Remember, in A3G she’s surrounded by characters who could make anybody seem kickass. Luann and Tommie are barely sentient. Aristotle is only marginally better, and the rest are indistinguishable males with four-letter names who die faster than pet goldfish. Plus, Margo’s only motivation seems to be landing a husband. How can someone that emotionally needy have what it takes in a do-or-die smackdown?

Finally: I feel sure that this will be old news to everyone else on this board, but just in case I’m wrong, check out this Cassandra Cat video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TfE01y-HcI
shermy glamrocker
December 26th, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

“Drop it, son, or I’ll shoot you!”
C’mon sheriff, he’s holding a frickin’ bumper jack and standing 30 feet away from you. And you have a gun pointed at him. Why does he have to “drop it.”
Or, maybe he’s talking about Mark’s trousers.
Ribinin
December 26th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

#489 Shermy G: Saying “drop it” is the first thing they teach in Cop 101. However, the Sheriff won’t shoot, he knows how much paperwork that would mean.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 26th, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

489 shermy glamrocker: Maybe the sheriff went to the “Big Shot School of Standoff Negotiation and Banter.”
KarMann
December 26th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

@bb,ub #491: So that’s the answer to the question, “where’d he learn to negotiate like that?”
gnome de blog
December 26th, 2009 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

Starfish Boy ripped off June’s purse and had to “clean the garage.” Brook ripped off the housekeeping money and has to clean the whole house.

Before Widdle Sawah, I’ll bet Rex whimpered with delight when June ripped the covers off and told him to “get dressed” and meet her in the kitchen.
Steve the Pocket
December 26th, 2009 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Baldo: No, no, no. The correct response to that question is to punch her in the gut. Doy! In fact, this doesn’t even make sense! Was that what was originally going to happen before the editor got ahold of it and reminded the writer that kids are no longer allowed to be violent, mean, or remotely unpleasant in the funnies anymore (see: Dennis the Menace)?

Get Fuzzy: *sigh* Must I embarrass myself by assuming out loud that the English do indeed know that a “pound” is a measure of weight, have not used “stone” since at least a century ago, and yet may still be confused since they mostly weigh things in metric now? I would add that you could have made a “keys” pun, but I’m not sure if anyone besides drug dealers use that term.

And may I add that since Darby Conley is a rugby fan, he should have an interest in getting better acquainted with British culture. Double doy!

Marvin: Aw, isn’t that cute. Marvin thinks his antics make him “lovable.”

Mark Trail: First the shopkeeper ignores Mark clearly saying out loud to himself that there’s an emergency, now the sheriff ignores the fucking car and drowning kid right there in front of him. They really went out of their way to make everyone besides Mark a douche. I’m sure there’s a trope for that, but I’m too lazy to look it up.

Non Sequitur: “See? The North Pole has become a tropical resort! How can you not believe global warming now?” “Because that’s just a drawing you made and if it were real we’d all be drowning right now?” “Also you’re a corporate protector and a fearmonger.” “Well screw you too.” “Goddammit, why is this not winning you over to my side?!” Another day in the go-go world of comic satire.
Steve the Pocket
December 26th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

Oh, AND. Edison Lee: I have no idea where he gets this idea. By all accounts people are just as rude right before Christmas as after, maybe more since they’re actually in a hurry.
ChristianPinko
December 26th, 2009 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

#494 – In re Mark Trail, I think the term you want is “Idiot Plot.”
Muffaroo
December 26th, 2009 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

9CL – “HO-GAN!”

Curtis – “HO-DEN!”
Muffaroo
December 26th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Mark – Heartwarming time! We find out that just before the water covered Rusty, little Sassy used her inborn doggie talents to dig him a shallow grave!

Mary – Stubble? That’s it! This kid’s NO DAMN GOOD.

My Cage – How soon does Norm’s guardian angel come along and show him that his existence has made no difference whatsoever to the lives of those around him? (There’ll even be another bitter, aging slacker holding down his job.)

Popeye – Let us assume a spherical Shmoo of even density…

Rex – Make it so, lady!

Tiger – You’ll pedal your eye out, kid!
Muffaroo
December 26th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

KarMann @432 – A Christmas Story is a Jean Shepherd movie. The guy was a bleeding genius, and this is the best realization of his writing that’s ever made it to the big screen. Failing that, just pick up any one of his books and start reading. Or go to the Shep Archives, where they have over a thousand hours of his radio shows. (Quasi-quote: “Ellsworth,” said Al. “He worked here right up to the day he retired, and fifteen minutes before closing, he turned to me and said, ‘Al, you can call me Ellsworth.’”)

True Fable @435 – Rusty may have realized that the Elrodball was really a disk and used it to dig with. Just like Mark should have dug with one of the damn hubcaps, for crap’s sake.
Muffaroo
December 26th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

TheDiva @453 – Is Ho Yay one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa?
Let me know if one of the others is Ho Daddy!

Anonymous @464 – Oh. That was me at 463. I hope that settles it for everybody. There’s a certain perfection to this comment as it stands.
ElkMeadow
December 26th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

MT: Is that ALDO driving the car? Ooh, it’s like the ghostly hitchhiker, only backwards. Eric gets out of the car, and finds out that the driver died years ago, but his ghost is still picking up love’s lost labors (such as out-of-wedlock and never announced loser like you, Eric) and driving them to their doom.

And #498 Muffarroo, you are absolutely right–Eric has stubble, therefore Eric is no good, and deserves the Drive to Doom twice as much.

Alas, poor Cue…he didn’t have stubble, and now he’s gawn, gawn away in the back of the cop car. Who will tend his crib? Who will sell his stash? And WHY does he hate golf and golfers?
Poteet
December 26th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

# 498 Muffaroo — Kurt’s hair also sticks up in back, besides the stubble. I figure he’s a murderer.
ElkMeadow
December 26th, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

Poteet, you’re absolutely right. He’s a murderer AND a stalker, and he has been either been or will be (last time we saw him, clean and rehabbed) Tommy’s roommate. Sheesh, he looks just like Tommy, but with uncombed short hair and with wide Jimmy Stewart-crazy eyes.
bats :[
December 26th, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

501. ElkMeadow: heck, I thought Kurt had zits ‘n’ acne ‘n’ stuff. He might be a mass murderer, but at least stubble is more okay with me.
ElkMeadow
December 26th, 2009 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Re post #501. My mistake.

Wilbur’s stalker and future murdered and raider of Dawn’s college trust fund account and destroyer of the “Ask Wendy” column is named is Kurt Evans.
Chip Whittle
December 27th, 2009 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Re #494 Steve the Pocket:

Get Fuzzy: *sigh* Must I embarrass myself by assuming out loud that the English do indeed know that a “pound” is a measure of weight, have not used “stone” since at least a century ago, and yet may still be confused since they mostly weigh things in metric now?

So, the National Health Service’s “healthy weight” BMI calculator is aimed at Edwardian readers due to how it allows one to enter weight in stones-and-pounds?
Vince M
December 27th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

501: MW – “Be sure and tell ‘em Aldo Kelrast sent you! AHH-HAHAHAAA!!!”
ElkMeadow
December 27th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

My friend in New Zealand lost a number of stones through diet and exercise. I don’t think she was posting about gall or kidney stones. And her pics looked great.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 27th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

499 Muffaroo: Yay for A Christmas Story—best Christmas movie ever, and with the most quotable lines. We introduced my niece and nephew to it this Christmas Eve—which means that from now on, I can call my nephew a “mundane noodle”! (Plus, it was great fun hearing the two of them laughing along with us as we watched.)

504 bats:[ —I, too, see Kurt as a callow, pimply youth. He actually looks as though he could be a young Defective Scott, before he became a Defective. Better keep Dr. Jeff away from him…..
Muffaroo
December 27th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

bourbon babe @509 – I took Sarah to that when she was almost six. First real movie she went to at a theater. She enjoyed it enough that she didn’t start asking to leave until it was almost over, and since she’d been so good about it, I said okay. She’ll have to see it again when she’s older before she’ll start quoting lines from it, though.
Nil Zed
December 27th, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

494, Steve the pocket, 506, Chip Writtle

Indeed it is true. One’s weight is measured by stone. A pound, after all, is a unit of money!

I was living there recently, and the doctor’s scale even used stone. They had a chart to quickly convert to metric if needed, but struggled to do the math to tell me my weight in American pounds. If they remembered a stone was 14 lb, they hesitated still, wondering if an American pound and British pound were the same.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 27th, 2009 at 1:20 am [Reply]

MW: Kurt, is that your laundry? Too soon, dude, too soon.

MT: Who’s Mark talking to in that first panel? Andy? Because I’m pretty sure Andy already knows that factoid. In fact, he probably had to prompt Mark when the scene began.

And yes, the best things in life are free, so quit your complaining and get yourself out of that grubby urban homeless shelter and out into the grandeur of a national park.

A3G: Margo in a church? This can’t end well…..
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 27th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

I think I’ll send myself to sleep tonight by imagining Rusty’s New Year’s resolutions:
1) Next time, just take the $500 and buy a new camera.
2) Stay out from under the car.
3) Learn to hold my breath for a super-long time.
4) Don’t follow Sassy’s lead.
Ed Dravecky
December 27th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

Steve the Pocket @494: Wow, I took that Non Sequitur to be Santa rewarding the climate change deniers for helping to make the North Pole warmer. Note Santa’s warm-weather attire and huge bag of presents.
Meekrat
December 27th, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

If anyone is interested, I compiled a list of all the Christmas-themed comics from the 25th:
http://www.dailycomicsreview.com/2009/12/x-mas-x-travaganza.html
Poteet
December 27th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

12/27 RMMD — I knew RMMD would be better after June got back, but this is better than better. Go June! Hurl the little slob down the stairs!
Mr. O'Malley
December 27th, 2009 at 3:22 am [Reply]

515. Thank you, Meekrat. There’s nothing this year quite up to this, this or this. Unfortunately most of the best ones cannot be found online.

Here’s a nice little bit though (with raccoons!)
http://greatestape.blogspot.com/2009/03/albert-pogos-christmas-by-walt-kelly.html
Mr. O'Malley
December 27th, 2009 at 3:24 am [Reply]

Found from Dean Booth. Is this the first R-rated Henry, or what?
Poteet
December 27th, 2009 at 3:34 am [Reply]

12/27

MW — So Wilbur can answer every question in life. Wow. Abby must have left because she felt she wasn’t worthy.

ReFoob — Ha ha! As with the knock-down pillow fights, physical violence in Foobville is always so amusing!
Mr. O'Malley
December 27th, 2009 at 4:18 am [Reply]

A-3G: Wouldn’t a Buddhist temple be more appropriate?

BaBl: Jackson Pollock’s childhood.

FW: Yesterday’s turkey having been consumed, he heads for NYC to make an offering to the tree gods, passing by a bust of—hard to read—Berlioz? He must really love Symphonie Fantastique.

Hagar: The throwaway panels embody the Dark Age version of MW.

Hi & Lois: “YouTube”, haha, kids these days, what a riot!

MT: Technically true, but there were a passel of years in between then and now when the New Year began on March 25 or otherwise.

Well, this has been a rather challenging year, but yesterday we went out for a afternoon walk and saw a bald eagle posing in a tree on the shore of Puget Sound, so I get the concept, but still WTF was that with jacking a car up on sand?

(Anecdote in next post—to get the total up.)

MW: The 1970s were at least 30 years ago (for a few more days), so this must be some scam targeting old people who can’t remember how to subtract any more.

The Phantom is introducing his son to the Land of the Insatiable Women? They can’t get enough of the Bandar tongue.

ReFoob: When you learn the secret of complete self-martyrdom, you will no longer need artificial stimulants. Dirty hippie …

RMMD: Rex was planning to have Cheese Snaps for brekkers? No wonder June is PO’d. (I’m sure I’ll be seeing that last panel again.)

Too many strips are getting into New Year already, I suppose because this is the last Sunday before. Too soon, dudes!
Mr. O'Malley
December 27th, 2009 at 4:33 am [Reply]

The current Mark Trail story has reminded me of something that occurred to me a few Christmases ago.

We received a Christmas card from a member of our family—but rather a distant one—my father’s second cousin or something like that.

The message was something along the lines of: “I’m sure you’ve all heard of our situation, and Christmas is tough to get through this year, but we’re managing as best we can under the circumstances.”

None of my immediate family had a clue what she was going on about, so some consultations took place, and one of my aunts set about to investigate the matter.

It turned out that this woman’s teenage son had stolen the town police car (they lived in a town that had only one police car) and gone out joyriding. As a consequence he was looking at an impressive sentence in juvenile detention. Police are not too happy about crimes of this nature.

I’m guessing that between punching and boldfaced explanations, Mark will have everything squared away before New Year’s, in a parallel universe.
Ed Dravecky
December 27th, 2009 at 5:21 am [Reply]

12/27

Apt3G: “Margo enters a church…”? It’s been a while since I’ve read the book of Revelations but I can’t imagine this ending well for anybody.

Crankshaft: Wait, I thought they didn’t do very well financially with the corn, so… gah! My brain is storing information about lame Crankshaft plots it could be using for great literature, deep philosophy, or Phineas and Ferb plots.

Family Circus reminds us of our faltering economy, the flu pandemic, and the ongoing threats to the President and his family, plus offers up the possibility that an infant will be abandoned then makes an elderly woman cry. When did the Keane’s move to the Funkyverse?

Funky: I get that Les is in Central Park to leave flowers as a memorial but beyond that have not the faintest clue as to what all this symbolizes. Was Lisa gunned down by cancer in Central Park? (Still, less depressing than today’s Family Circus.)

Heathcliff: Uh, that’s not how “clean coal” works.

Mary Worth: Wilbur, if answering things bothers you so, perhaps “advice columnist” is the wrong line of work for you. (See if Subway has any openings in their R&D labs, for example.)

Mother Goose: While I applaud them for not jumping ahead to New Year’s Day already, the time for lame Christmas puns has passed. Yes, even if you lost a bet with Stephan Pastis.

My Cage: Nothing to snark at here, it’s pure win.

Rex Morgan: Awesome! Starfleet lieutenant June Morgan is about to get all Prime Directive on Brook’s lazy backside. Can somebody please pass the Cheese Snaps?
zerowolf
December 27th, 2009 at 9:37 am [Reply]

A3G Margo in a church? But… but… but… it’s not Dec 21, 2012 yet!
zerowolf
December 27th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Lockhorns: Awww Leroy and Loretta are getting frisky. EYEBLEACH!
zerowolf
December 27th, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

When did Jack Chick start publishing in heathen newspapers? This makes B.C. look like a bunch of Baal worshipers.
crazyjerseygirl
December 27th, 2009 at 10:50 am [Reply]

#525 We had a guy like that at college in NJ and I can assure you that NOONE gathered ’round for a goon evangelicisin’
It’s only a matter of time before this guy starts chukin’ gosples at the great unwashed.

#524 Oh and last panel Phantom….that requires both eye and mind bleach!
wossname
December 27th, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

487 Poteet – Of course you were right – I was delusional if I expected any plots to advance on Sunday. But I am really enjoying June’s growing fury, which is about to explode in a volcanic eruption that will set off seismographs all over Morganville.

PV – I haven’t been following this strip, but I’ve got to start. Where else would you find a line like “Repellent figures with predatory intent ooze from the shadows”?

517 Mr. O’Malley – Thank you for the Pogo! Takes me back to my youth, when all the comics were great. (At least that’s how I remember it.)

Anyone who’s on Facebook, I heartily recommend friending Aldo. Not that he has much to say (after all, he’s officially dead), but the entire Aldomania story line is on his page in easy-to-read form. I wish I’d known about this blog back when that was going on! But alas, I was a solitary snarker then, snorting coffee out my nose alone at each day’s ridiculousness.
gleeb
December 27th, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

A&J: Old 2008 is Crankshaft: aged, irritated, confused by simple technology.

Brenda: Brenda works at the Washington Post?

Fox: This month could be when M le Comte releases the “monster” (who’s actually rather friendly looking)? He got a search warrant on that? What kind of pinhead judges do they have in Slylock’s state?

Zippy: Guess you should have gone to business school, Griffy.

Rex: The look is more of shock than of horror or anger. Someone has dared to defy June, and she can’t get her mind around that. This is 20 times better than dull people driving around in the rain, even if you include Cue.

Godiva and Abbey: Ideally, shouldn’t they have worked this stuff out before even marrying?

‘bean: So, all the talk of book deals was an evasion so he could cheat on the nice woman who brings him cranberry cake with his dead wife. What a creep.
Calico
December 27th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

FOOB – Unca Phil searches desperately for booze, yet, I’ll mention (once again) that Connie bought him “His favorite Scotch” for Xmas.
Did they chug it already during one of their orgies?

Love those continuity issues-reading ReFOOB is like being half awake, when your dreams and thoughts intersperse, and you’re not sure which is real.
John C Fremont
December 27th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Margo McGee has shown her weaker, sentimental side today. June Morgan has no sentimental side. My money’s on June.

I seriously love June’s “I am calm.” panel. This is even better than bikini-clad June, and I love bikini-clad June!

#489 shermy glamrocker – “Squeal like a pig! Weeeeee!”

#507 Vince M – “Worst accident I ever seen!”

MW – Huh. Wilbur Weston fathered a 1970’s Old Spice ad. I did not see that coming.

RMMD – Okay, I get that Rex is wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask in panel six. My question is, why?

FW – And why didn’t I see this coming? Okay, so we only found out that he was going to New York yesterday, but still, I shoulda known. In the words of Mary Worth, “Sheesh!”
Calico
December 27th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#513 – Not a moment too soon for Rusty (WHO IS RUSTY) to make those resos.

MT is kinda trippy today – “A New Year! Julius Caesar and Janus! I’m sad we have to pack up the decorations! Isn’t that a swell looking landscape?
Look, a ginormous squirrel! Owwwww! My resolutions!”
John C Fremont
December 27th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Hey, if you google “Funky Winkerbean Holy Pilgrimage,” it brings you back here. The more you know…
Calico
December 27th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

#532 – Is that a WNBC PSA? : )

I found 3G and FW touching today. Margo has feelings, albeit only for herself for the most part, but still…!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 27th, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

SM: So the same spider-sense that allowed Spidey to get clonked on the head with a brick and to be incapacitated by a stream of water now lets him dodge bullets. I don’t quite follow the physics involved here, but maybe that’s just me.

MT: I will have a HAPPY NEW YEAR, for The Squirrel commands it.

DtM & HtH—have exactly the same “joke” today. The similarities don’t end there: parallel titles, lead characters who are supposedly menacing/horrible but are mainly just ineffectual…. oh, and most importantly: not funny.

SFx: Thank goodness this plot was stopped before the monster half-seated that turkey leg.
Mibbitmaker
December 27th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

I’m really late with comments on the last 2 days, which I wrote last evening but had no time to type in, since I finished writing them just before going to another Christmas party (Yankee Swap and too much food with my step family on my mom’s side), then got home for DVD SNL and bedtime. Finally caught up through #511, so here are…

First — my Christmas Day comments:

Curtis: I hear “Send it back!” from Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (the inferior 1984 version, not the too-long-unheard 1979 original) with THAT present!

MT: Merry Car Chase, everybody!

MW: Jeez, what happened, Wilb’?
Oh, who needs her, anyway? Her and her freakishly long thumbs!
Mibbitmaker
December 27th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Now, my Boxing Day (you’re welcome, British readers) comments:

MT: Mark is shot dead and Rusty is drown. The end. Yeah, great job, Sheriff Lobo!

6C: There it is, ladies and gentlemen — the most overused gag in all cartoondom by now!

9CL: Trust me, it’s for the best.

DT: Yeesh! Which comes off worse in this storyline, classical or rock’n'roll?

Garfield: The humans are trying to break the record held by Hawkeye and Hot Lips (either Xmas 1972 or the series finale movie)

GF: He’s got stones, I’ll give him that.
TheDiva
December 27th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

C’shaft: Why is Cranky the only one who ever talks at these garden club meetings anyway? I’m sure many of these nice ladies have lame flora-related puns they want to share as well!

FW: Lio did it better.

MW: Kurt, you’ve got it all wrong. Unwanted relatives are supposed to show up before or during Christmas, not after.
Gabacho
December 27th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail – even though I agree with the underlying message about appreciating the miracle of nature, I still find myself slight irritated. This does not bode well for 2010.

Mary Worth – “Study the Past If You Would Divine the Future”. Yep, that pretty well sums up the writing philosophy of Mary Worth.

Brenda Starr – I’m surprised that Hank couldn’t down the blogger dude with a single punch. Hank, sweetie, you’re slipping.
Bryan
December 27th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan, MD: I want to see June shooting out zigzaggy, Darkseid-style Omega Beams from her eyes in that last panel. They never miss! Well, almost never (hardly ever!) and I don’t think Brooke has Batman reflexes.

Funky Winkerbean: “All the men on that transport died! Lisa wasn’t there to save them because you weren’t there to save her! Oh, and you have cancer.”

My Cage: Atta boy, Clarence!
Uncle Lumpy
December 27th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’M (#520) –

Les has gone for his annual Dead Chick Bathos Wallow at “their tree” behind the bust of this guy.
Mibbitmaker
December 27th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

And finally (yestercomments-wise)…….

~~Curtis~~ Kwanzaa:

Panel 2: And they found two symbols from an old Krazy Kat strip. It was the best Kwanzaa ever!

Panel 3: “Hare”? The imagination BOGGLES the MIND!!!

Panel Last: “…The End”. Short and sweet.

(and now I’ll try some Sunday ones. I should have them written and typed in here by, oh, Valentine’s Day or so…..)
ThursdayNext
December 27th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

#281-burbon babe, unbuckled: yes, love me some Jasper Fforde. I want badly to see his stuff on film sometime.

#484-Amateur: o snap! Birthday! Birthday

#529-Calico: it might be the boozing that’s causing the hazy state. Certainly all the calories Phil drinks go straight to his butt.

Happy Three French Hens, everybody.
Mibbitmaker
December 27th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

#539 (Bryan), re: RMMD: Yeah, her reflexes are much more like Oscar Madison’s.
Rusty's Ghost
December 27th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

I only wanted to grin at people in a hopeful but despairing and frightened way. Was that so wrong?
Lucky
December 27th, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace – If it weren’t for “ballet, violin and piano” there would probably be a Sarah Palin joke somewhere in here.
Rusty\'s Ghost
December 27th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

And I think it’s nifty that Mr. McEldowney has become the voice of the overman underdog.
JupiterPluvius
December 27th, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Must I embarrass myself by assuming out loud that the English do indeed know that a “pound” is a measure of weight, have not used “stone” since at least a century ago

Yeah, no. Helen Fielding uses it in Bridget Jones’s Diary. They use it on UK weight-loss shows.

I don’t talk with my English friends about weight because how boring, but it seems that “stone” is still the preferred measure of human avoirdupois to many folks over there.

Today’s Family Circus really laid bare, in the first vignette, what we had been suspecting all along–the parents think of the kids merely as resources to be exploited. I always thought there was something Fagin-ish about NotMe!
bats :[
December 27th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

515. Meekrat: I saw the notice over at Dean Booth’s site yesterday and read through your magnum opus. Well done!

And OMG! OMG! OMG! Les’ wife is DEAD!!!!
True Fable
December 27th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Sunday snark!

Kit Walker, WTF Ranger Everything’s cool until that last panel. Then it’s, “won’t somebody think of the children?!?”

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! You know, their kids are going to hate BOTH of them if they stay away any longer.

Rex Morgan, OMG Gotta love that last panel reaction of Rex’s. This next week ought to be a blast!

One Big Mell Lazarus for the win!

Grimmy Best play on words of the day, made me laugh and groan at the same time.

Canadian Zombie Elly Patterson abuses yet ANOTHER family member! Ah, holidays in Milborough! No wonder Phil drinks.
bats :[
December 27th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Sunday Phantom: assuming that everything is on the up-and-up (ahem), WHAT are those two things on Kit’s lower chest/solar plexus area? A coconut bra? Honesty to Avar, I have no idea…
This is a good option for Kit, Jr., though. Heloise can be the next Phantom, and her brother can remain in Avar, impregnating the locals. Kit, Sr. remains faithful to Diana. It’s a win-win-win situation! Yay!
Uncle Lumpy
December 27th, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

@bats (#548) —

Les’s wife? DEAD? Nooooooooo…………!

B- b- but she was nice (sob, splutter). Why is it always the nice ones?
Uncle Lumpy
December 27th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Had she been ill? You know, with some sort of illness?
Batman Beatles
December 27th, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

#525 – Ugh, I remember that comic strip. It is so sanctimonious and I consider myself a religious person.
bats :[
December 27th, 2009 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

Oh, I am lovin’ Rex! Keep your silly boobs, Godiva, and your bastard son, Wilbur — my money’s on antics in the Morgan household this coming week!

As for A3G, at least Martin didn’t give her Ruby’s fuzzy bunny slippers…
Steve the Pocket
December 27th, 2009 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Well, I’ve learned something today. Two, actually, since I went to check on other British units and discovered they didn’t even switch to decimal currency until ‘71. And yet they’re ahead of us on metric…

Still, am I right to assume you’d still measure a cat in pounds, seeing how they’re generally less than two stone?
Poteet
December 27th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

# 527 wossname — The Sunday funnies were actually much better than I expected, and RMMD was glorious. I just hope June follows through with action that is at least terrifyng, if not lawsuit-worthy.
ElkMeadow
December 27th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

If Cue had stayed at the Morgan’s, he would have kept the place a lot nicer.

Just sayin’…
commodorejohn
December 27th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

A3G – Margo enters a church…in the middle of the night…and lights a fire. Arson ahoy!

Blondie – See, this is the point where you begin active combat. Provoke the dog! Crank up the Led Zeppelin! Hold a block party! Just leave the phone off the hook.

BrS – I’ve always said that journalism needs more punching.

DT – Is that what the plot…? This is either going to be the dumbest or most awesome Dick Tracy storyline ever. Maybe even both.

FW – Yep. Still dead.

JP – You know, maybe you should have noticed the pattern and addressed the problem somewhere before you got to eight kids and a foundering marriage. Just a thought.

MW – Oh hell yes.

Phantom – NEXT: Death by snoo-snoo!

PV – How do you say “you shall not pass!” in Morlock?

RMMD – This just keeps getting more wonderful. In fact, this whole month has been awesome. Just as Mark Trail is winding down, Rex Morgan steps in to pick up the slack, while Mary Worth jumps back into the craziness. Beautiful.

Edison Lee – Okay, I have to admit it: today’s Edison Lee is, in fact, funny, and presents an opinion that I think everybody can agree with. Well done.
nerowolfgal
December 27th, 2009 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

RMMD – Actually I am totally on June’s side. I am (or so I see myself) a tolerant, easy-going person, but someone coming uninvited into my home while I was gone, trashing it, and sealing my money, would have steam boiling out of my ears.

Then if that person disrespected me to another person AND refused to get up and clean up their mess……………..well my reaction would shock and awe Margot.
ElkMeadow
December 27th, 2009 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

Of course, if the old golfer and the hungry woman had crashed the Morgan’s crib, they might still be there….
AhClem
December 27th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

RMMD – June is sporting the Green Eyes of Death™. This will not end well for Brook.
Bryan
December 27th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

555, Steve the Pocket: Two, actually, since I went to check on other British units and discovered they didn’t even switch to decimal currency until ‘71.

There’s an episode of the Sylvester McCoy-era Doctor Who (Curse of Fenric?) where The Doctor and his companion from the 1980’s, Ace, go back to the 1940’s. He’s trying to explain the old currency system to her. She gives up in frustration with, “What a stupid system!”

<b<558, commodorejohn: Now you’ve made me go and look up the Sunday Edison Lee over at Dean Booth’s place.
dyslexic dog
December 27th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

#551, 552 – Uncle Lumpy
I hope you’re sitting down . . .
In the prime of life, she was fatally kidnapped by a masked man, and yet, Crankshaft remains to uglify the world. Such are the ways of the great god Tom.
wossname
December 27th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

559 nerowolfgal – I completely agree. I am generally easygoing (I think) and deeply committed to fairness, but I’m also very protective of my territory. And if I were in June’s position, the punching would have already started.

But that raises a question I’ve been wondering about: I used to read RMMD as a kid, and I remember June as a prim nurse in starched white uniform who didn’t contribute much to the plot. Then I didn’t read it for many years. Recently, when I tuned back in after getting hooked on this blog, I discovered the tempestuous bikini-wearing June. Can someone who was following all along explain what happened?
Miss Othmar
December 27th, 2009 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

#558 commodorejohn (via #562 Bryan): I don’t usually read Edison Lee either, but I went to look at it and it definitely resonated with me. Of course, that’s an aberration for this strip, so I doubt that I will be adding it to my reading list anytime soon….
Uncle Lumpy
December 27th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

@wossname (#564) –

After many years of prim spinsterhood, June struck up a long-term relationship with a resourceful gay man who made her over into the fire-spitting vixen we know and love.
Bryan
December 27th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

I thought being a spinster with a career was the greatest thing in the world for a woman. See the earlier discussion on alt-Mary in It’s A Wonderful Life.
wossname
December 27th, 2009 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

567 Bryan – As a spinster with a career, I have few complaints (although one of them concerns the word “spinster” — ewww, that’s one step away from “old maid.” Couldn’t we use “untethered” or something?)
Poteet
December 27th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

FW — I can’t believe that for a brief moment, I wondered who the monument was for.
Poteet
December 27th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

# 559 nerowolfgal — Yeah. I’m not saying Brook deserves to die, exactly. I’m just saying I won’t cry when she does.
bats :[
December 27th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

569. Poteet: I’d like to think it was for Dudley Moore, or Garry Moore, or anyone else. How much does something like that cost? And I’m sure there are requirements for “celebrity,” to allow a monument to be set up in a popular public place, too.
But I keep forgetting how gosh-darn Special Lisa is…
Ukulele Ike
December 27th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

bats @ 571: Oh, Thomas Moore was big around these parts at one time. In addition to the bust in Central park, there’s another in his honor In Brooklyn’s Prospect Park (Vaux & Olmstead’s second, superior NYC park).

I blame all those Olde Ireland Marching and Chowder Societies of the Tammany period.
Muffaroo
December 27th, 2009 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

Gasoline – My eyes! BIRD CHEESECAKE!

Dick – Looks like that blow on the head caused a personality change in Phil Harmonic. Now he’s “A.D. Z’throwback!”

1Big – Cool shout out to Mell. (Come back, Miss Peach! All is forgiven!)

9CL – I thought to myself, “Why am I clicking on this? It’ll just be one picture of the cat, stretched out over three panels.” Then I clicked, and my guess had been close enough to totally impress and frighten myself. I hope I only use my amazing powers for good.

Spidey – “I’ve still got an ace in the hole.” Bigshot has a brick hidden in his coat pocket.
Muffaroo
December 27th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Zits – Mmmmm, Beanie Weenie. (The spirits are about to speak!)

On one cross-country bus journey, we pulled into a bus station in Nebraska and I was hungry. The station had a vending machine with hot cans, and I tucked into those beans with gusto. Talk about something hitting the spot. Alas, at this late date, I’m not sure if it was Lincoln or Omaha; Pork ‘n’ Beans or Beanie Weenie, but I can remember the satisfaction, after living on Ritz Crackers and squeez cheez for so many miles.

For just a few months, Campbell’s made canned beans with mini weiners mixed in. Those were rather tasty. I looked for them after that for years.

Walt’s childhood stories are barely pathetic at all, it just now occurs to me.

Rex – She’s not even out of bed yet! Is it just me, or did the porn movie music just start in on the soundtrack, real quiet like?
Muffaroo
December 27th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Mary – “Wilbur Weston? I’m Kurt Ev… Yow! My god, you’re… I mean, my name Jose Ramalamadong… me have wrong door, I theeenk. Sayonara!” (whew!)

Mark – Fooled me! I thought he was going to talk about gnus. For gnu year’s.

Smirky – Shouldn’t there be little musical notes to show that Les is humming or whistling? This is the happiest day of the year for him, leaving a bundle of flowers by his late wife’s “We Belong Dead” tree.

Beetle – Sarge seems to have reversible feet in the last panel, with toes at both ends. You have to be pretty flexible to stay a sergeant at Camp Swampy for so many years.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 27th, 2009 at 8:47 pm

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