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Insert “doggie style” joke here

Beetle Bailey, 2/4/10

OK, I’ll admit it: today’s unspeakably perverse Beetle Bailey, in which Sarge’s leering sex maniac of a dog takes him to some kind of canine fetish club, made me laugh. (I’m assuming the “fire plug dancing” bit means that their target audience is into watersports.) I think what makes this strip for me is Sarge’s look of wide-eyed innocence giving way to growing shock in the second panel. So many things he will learn tonight, about dogs and what they like to smell and/or pee on!

Gil Thorp, 2/4/10

I was going to make some sort of snide comment about how every sentence in panels two and three could be construed as a double entendre, but then I caught site of Gil’s sweater vest, and now can think about nothing but said sweater vest. Do you think it’s in Mudlark team colors? That would be ever so keen!

Mary Worth, 2/4/10

“It must be the same guy! Such an unusual name, after all!”

Dawn better keep track of her father while she thought-balloons, as Wilbur has snuck away to hunch over his computer in the background and go all crazy social-networking style. Watch out, Dawn! Maybe he’ll discover that daughter he always wanted!

Dennis the Menace, 2/4/10

Too bad you won’t be alive to see it, old man! Maybe Dennis’ll bring the little tykes over to dance on your grave!

214 responses to “Insert “doggie style” joke here”

  1. Ed Dravecky
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Beetle Bailey is brought to you by former US Senator Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum and will provide my nightmare fuel for several weeks.

    Blondie: What Dagwood has yet to discover is that his boss also sent him a fax, a postcard, and a singing telegram plus changed his Facebook status to “Julius C. Dithers is firing that no good Dagwood Bumstead.” (Is it wrong that I want to click the ‘Like’ button?)

    Judge Parker: It could be worse… “Wow, does his moustache look salty!”

  2. Howland Awl
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Coach Kaz, representing the best of 1987′s hairstyles. He’s also probably wearing Zubaz.

  3. Aviatrix
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    All three panels sound pretty suggestive to me. I can see the shocked look on a woman’s face as she confesses, “I opened the door and there he was, splitting a road game with Jefferson and New Thayer!”

  4. Mr. Beautiful
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    How do dogs pay?

  5. zenvelo
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    is Wilbur sitting in a green chair? or is he on a stool and that’s actually his back fat covered by a green sweater?

  6. Dan
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Hi and Lois takes a little too much thought before you realize that Ditto is motivated by selfishness, rather than an outright hatred of the poor.

  7. T. Chicana
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: They really need to be thinking where Wilbur’s ‘son’ is during all this. The last time we saw him, he was going to go get cleaned up from all the fish guts. The next time we see him, he’ll be selling all of Wilbur’s possessions on

  8. henny penny
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    BB: i don’t know where to start. this comic makes no sense. sarge has presumably taken otto for a walk at least once in the 50 years that this comic strip has been alive. neither the wide-eyed innocence, the growing shock, the whole who’s leading who on the walk – none of it makes any sense.

  9. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @T. Chicana (#7): Or, if we’ve been very, very good, tomorrow’s panel will show him in Dawn’s room, parading in front of her mirror in one of her bestest purple outfits!

  10. Judas Peckerwood
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: And by “dance” I assume you mean “urinate.”

  11. Skeltometer
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    So, is Marty Moon’s phaser set on “stun” in that interview?

  12. Hank Kimble
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    I was wondering why Gil is wearing a flak jacket. Do you think “the janitor” is plotting to use cleaning chemicals to take out Gil or maybe Marty Moon?

  13. Roto13
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Ok, the ONLY message I can take away from today’s Dennis the Menace is that Mr. Wilson plans to kidnap, torture, and murder Dennis’ future family. Dennis the Menaced?

  14. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    So do all the dogs at Otto’s doggie club wear human clothes? Who makes these outfits, anyway?

  15. Digger
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    BB: I’m confused about the “rump sniffing” offered at Dirty Dogs Dive. Do they mean theirs or yours? Not that I’m into that sort of thing either way………shut up.

    DtM: So Mr. Wilson is planning to one day murder Dennis’ kids? Well, I guess that’ll show the little bastard.

  16. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    February 4th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Also, is the Dirty Dogs Dive racist against rabbits? Uh, I ask purely out of idle curiosity.

  17. Toby
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson looks like he’d like to piss on Dennis’ grave.

  18. Steve S
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    “Yes! It is the Martin Clark I’m thinking of! The one who contacted me on Facebook claiming to be my real father!”

  19. bats :[
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Wow, that BB is really pretty disturbing. No wonder it’s funny!

  20. Little Guy
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Funky Scaryassyellingteen: I’d like to order a Fist O’Justice, extra pepperoni.

    June Morgan, Betazed Telepath: “I sense….. frustration. And that’s just from the viewership.”

    StripeyButt: I know my nerd side is showing, but I keep expecting Captain Savarna to start referring to Kit as “The Big Purple Cheese”.

  21. Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Martin Clark…Martin Clark… Oh yes! The one who won the Wilbur look alike contest!

  22. Amateur
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn, honey, if you’re thinking so hard that you have to clutch your ear to keep it from falling off, you need to stop thinking.

  23. Evan
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to go waaay out on a limb here and predict that Martin Clark will be the real father of, uh, what’s his name.

  24. Black Drazon
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson sounds like an evil villain, already coming up with plans to pre-program Dennis’ unborn children to start stabbing anyone and everyone nearby with muddy pantlegs when they hear the code phrase “the rooster crows at midnight”. Unfortunately for him, Dennis is highly unlikely to breed and if he does it would be in a home with child safety locks and plastic utensils, the most menacing utensils of all.

  25. Perky Bird
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    So do you think all those innocent-sounding “Doggy Day-Care Centers” you see around town are really just fronts for this sort of lewd canine activity?

  26. Buck Ripsnort
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Don’t be stupid, Wilson– if a five year-old Dennis can kick your ass now, how are you going to torture and murder his kids when you’re older and feebler?

    FC: Better caption: “Are you kidding? The bumps on my head have healed since the LAST time we played ‘Throw Jeffy in the air and catch him’, Butterfingers!”

    BONUS POINTS: Who looks more homicidal: Wally Winkerbean in panel 2, or Jeffy in today’s FC? Discuss.

  27. tb4000
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    BB: Dog humps man. That’s not news. Man humps dog….just another night out.

  28. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Beetle Bailey reminded me of a different take on canine “dance” clubs, found here and here.

    Please note that these are two panels from a furry comic considered by some to be controversial and are for mature audiences only and should be considered NSFW. That being said, I found them amusing and clever, and they fit in with the theme of the BB strip.

  29. Anonymous
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    Dirty Dogs Dive is not the name of the place. I’ll give you a hint, it involves a pile of rotten garbage/dead skunks and crotch liking.

  30. Iconoclast
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson must be getting senile. Otherwise he’d know that Dennis will never be able to attract a mate.

  31. Steve L
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson shall spend the next 20 years of his life creating a cybernetic android body for himself. Of course, all this has happened before, and all this will happen again. Thus, Mr. Wilson’s desire for revenge gave birth to the Cylons and annihilated the human race.

  32. BigTed
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    I can’t help but hope Martin Clark will turn out to be both the real father of Dawn’s “brother,” and the older man who initiated her into the wonders of intimacy when she was a blossoming young woman… all leading to her emotional breakdown and a “Chinatown”-esque outburst of “My uncle!” “My lover!” “My uncle!” “My lover!” “My uncle!” “My lover!”

  33. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#171): woa. under pressure. (dum-dum-dum-dum-dadeedum.)

    I shall endeavor to persevere on that, o pencil-skirted one. ;-)

  34. yellojkt
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Because if we’ve learned nothing from Maramaduke, it’s that all French poodles are bitches.

  35. Don Igaun
    February 4th, 2010 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So in the end, Edna gets singing lessons while enamoring two men at the same time, Kiesl gets branded a traitor and could be subject to a firing squad, and Bill gets the short end of the stick since he’s the one who ends up with his very own ineffectual double agent.

    This had better end with Granny dying just like Cotton Hill died, only with a broken Juliette repeating the cycle of bitterness and loathing with Edda Sue Burber.

  36. Buck Ripsnort
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#25): FC-”The bumps on my head HAVEN’T healed . . . ” dammit. I felt like I really struck COTW gold on that one, too.

  37. Nekrotzar
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Why exactly is Marty threatening Gil with an electric razor? “I may have a stupid looking goatee, but if you don’t settle on a starting frontcourt for the game against Far Foodle, you’re going to be short one eyebrow! Now where’d I put my bottle of JD?”

  38. ElkMeadow
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Just checked out Facebook. Looks like Martin Clark is a writer also. Who would’da thunk it: Abby was attracted to writers! (Wonder if this whole arc was a shout out to a real live person….)

  39. Joshua
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#32): Being the father of Dawn’s purported brother wouldn’t make Martin Clark Dawn’s uncle. (Not even in the Mary Worth universe where several characters apparently have a shaky understanding of the concept of “paternity.”)

  40. mr 12 oz can
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    where the hell is kurt ????

  41. UncleJeff
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#37): A lot of radio people (and I’m among them) have ditched their old cassette recorder and microphone equipment in favor of flash recorders which have larger built in microphones than the condenser mics on the cassette recorders. You can record direct to a flash card and directly dub the mp3 back onto your computer hard drive for editing.
    Marty, on the other hand, in his perpetual alcoholic stupor IS attempting to interview Coach Thorp with his electric razor.

  42. Zemto
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#38): More like a mutter-out.

  43. Écureuil Écumant
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    MW: What the heck is Mrs. Gowanus doing back there in their kitchen? Trying out new oobleck recipes?

    @Y91 Poteet said:

    MT — Two tiny men in a tiny canoe paddle toward a giant beaver. Even Freud wouldn’t touch this one.

    Actually, Mark is backstroking for all he’s worth. He might not be able to outstroke the Senator, though.

  44. Interested bystander
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    “When we go small and quick…”
    OMG it’s a threesome they are talking about! Yikes.

  45. BeamStalk
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    “Could it be the one I am thinking of? I really should lay off the diazepam but it is my only coping mechanism.”

  46. Stroker Ace
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    Death to the Menace – A Plugger plots revenge he can only accomplish from beyond the grave.

  47. bman
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Fire plug dancing? Rump sniffing? French poodles? I’m not up to speed on street slang, but I think Otto has led Sarge to a hardcore gay dance club.

  48. Écureuil Écumant
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Plugger chiaroscuro! But it’s not the black velvet that makes Elvis’ jumpsuit glow. It’s the radium in the white paint.

  49. wossname
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    What are Mudlarks colors? Anyone care to hazard a guess?

  50. Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    FW: This is a let down. Wally should be pulling that 9mm of his and perforating the other guy’s car, just like they did in Iraq.

  51. Mibbitmaker
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    GT: Gil’s sweater vest, Kaz’s earrings…. just who runs the wardrobe dept. in this strip, anyway?

    H&J: To a failed bank president’s bonus, of course.

    H&L: Uh….. one word, jealous Ditto: Haiti.

    MT: I don’t know, Dawn — Say! I’ve got an idea! You could TELL US!!

    PBS: Aha! That’s because you didn’t listen to it backwards, Rat.

    PCity: Someone with a similarly initialed helmet, whose first name begins with T, ought to get between them. Just sayin’.

    R=R: That cat’s more selfish than Jay Leno.

    The P&R Mind of Edison Lee: Don’t give Leslie Nope any ideas!

  52. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#49): at least one paper’s take on that can be found here.

  53. KarMann
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#Y63): About the student asking about your high heels: Did you get that panicky feeling like Peter Parker gets when he thinks someone’s going to guess at his secret double life? Did you give away your superheroine identity? Will the Didactic Duo be able to survive this crisis intact? Tune in next week!

  54. Poteet
    February 4th, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#3): Per our yesterthread exchange about the two tiny men in the canoe, I seem to recall a slang term for a certain ladypart as being “the man in the boat.” But I’m not, no no not, going to look it up. MT has done enough to my mind for one week.

  55. Muffaroo
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#39): (Not even in the Mary Worth universe where several characters apparently have a shaky understanding of the concept of “paternity.”) Well, considering that Wilbur got through college believing that ‘paternity suit’ was a snappy blazer with some Greek letters on it…

  56. Jason1981
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Sure, other people can do that, Spidey. I’m sure there’s movie theaters where the ceilings are just as sticky as the floors–from the food, I mean! (apologies to anyone who was reading that while eating. )

    Not-Luann: Brad, she’s a blonde– we all know blondes don’t think about anything! *runs to lock doors and windows and arms self with taser*

    MT: “It’s not easy, what with these giant beavers and all. Damn them! Get it? Dam them? Get it?!”

  57. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

  58. Buzz Carter
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    It is doubtful that Dennis Mitchell will ever have children of his own. He hasn’t aged in 50 years, and his parents, recognizing the crime against humanity that it would be should he ever reproduce have obviously neglected to tell him why it is that Margaret seems to be infatuated with him.

  59. Poteet
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    MW — Sure enough, there’s a “Martin Clark” in one of the towns in my area. Burdell, Gailard, Merrill, and Marvis Clark were more interesting.

  60. patty leidy
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Am I living in an alternate universe? That Beetle Baily didn’t run here in Denver….
    not that I missed much..but still……..

  61. Poteet
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#57): Well, thank you so much. Now the MT canoe trip will take on a whole new meaning, and it was weird enough already.

  62. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    #29: crotch liking


  63. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#61): could be worse. add in the comments on 43 above.

    *ducks and covers*

  64. KarMann
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#63): Not that this is helping at all, but a totally different meaning of “cover” comes to mind in combination with “duck” or any other kind of fowl.

  65. cj
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Butthole Bailey:
    Lemme get this straight – Sarge likes to dominate a younger man while in uniform, but is surprised that his dog engages in extreme deviancy?

  66. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

  67. Sheila Sternwell
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#Y128): Maybe Detorie has had issues with his hands which has caused the art to change? I don’t read OBH regularly, so I can’t comment with any authority, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

    @Écureuil Écumant (#43): “He might not be able to outstroke the Senator, though” is how all political discourse in the U.S. ends.

  68. Filthy Assistant
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson can never die. Immortal, unblinking, he will watch you as he bides his time until he can strike.

  69. membargo
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    All of this thinking is turning Dawn into Emily Dickinson.

    I never thought to ask — before
    but now — the question’s — stark
    If Wilbur’s not — my daddy, then–
    It must be Martin — Clark!

  70. mojo
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: Hmmmmm. Martin Clark…. Martin Clark….. Why, gosh, I wonder if it’s the same “Martin Clark” who just happens to live in the building on the other side of the pool in our incestuous little compound? Imagine that!

  71. Joe Blevins
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    GT: Now this is sad — a totally delusional Marty Moon “interviewing” Gil with his not-even-plugged-in electric beard and mustache trimmer.

    MW: For a second there, I wondered why Dawn had a tiny, hideous, peach-and-avocado desk lamp. Then I realized it was her father.

  72. wossname
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#52): Ooh, thanks, queek! Now we can all cheer for the old pink and yellow! Go Mudlarks! *notices nobody else is cheering*

    In a very convoluted way, that reminds me: I purchased one of those CafePress MW T-shirts, in breathless anticipation of Mudge-meetup-con or whatever we’re calling it. It arrived very fast, very nice quality, but FYI in case anyone else is thinking of ordering, they seem to run pretty large. It’ll work just fine with my pencil skirt, though.

  73. wossname
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#71): A tiny, hideous, peach-and-avocado desk lamp would probably be a lot more useful, and possibly smarter.

  74. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#72): Plugger-sizes, then? *makes note of it*

  75. Aviatrix
    February 4th, 2010 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m confused by this ‘mid-Atlantic’ meetup. At first I assumed it was to be on a cruise ship. or a tropical island, but there’s a strong implication that it’s a day trip and people might be taking the train. Have I missed out on some important developments in continental drift or has global warming proceeded so far that several American states are now in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?

  76. Mr. E.Z. Mark
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    I have to admit that Beetle Bailey has shocked me, and not just because I always thought “Family Circus” would be the first strip to mention rump sniffing.

    I get that Otto is an anthropomorphized dog, but I figured he was simply the one-off result of some DARPA project. I had no idea that this botched experiment had resulted in a whole canine pervert subculture within walking distance of the base. It’s like an X-rated “Rats of NIMH” for the furry set. Worse, we can’t rule out the possibility that Otto himself sired the French poodles he and Snorkel will soon be ogling.

    Anyway, I’m really hope this isn’t going to lead to a spin-off strip featuring Marvin and Otto.

  77. Josh
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#Y128): It’s not particularly unusual for a comic artist’s style to evolve over time. Take a look at the run of Peanuts over the long term — strips from the 50s and 60s looke pretty different from strips in the 70s and 80s, and Charles Schultz never even used assistants. Just in the five or so years I’ve been doing this blog I’ve seen subtle shifts from some artists (which you can see through a trip through the archives).


  78. DaveyK
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    By the looks of panel 2, the process of recalling something from memory is enough to induce a migraine in Dawn. Alternately, it may have been known in the past to cause her brain to leak out of her ear. Either way, former detective Scott Hewlett is going to hear this an awful lot: “Not tonight dear {I have a headache/my brain is leaking out of my ear}.”

  79. It's time to pay the price
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me or is anyone else imagining a decrepit 115 year old Mr. Wilson hatching scheme after scheme in attempt to brutally maim Dennis’ future kids? Now that’s comedy!

  80. thunderheels
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#37):I can’t imagine Marty having that kind of taste. Wouldn’t he be into Thunderbird?

  81. Carly
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    The Mary Worth artwork is always so good! And by good, I mean good for a laugh. Oh man, Dawn’s angry face as she angrily arranges flowers (or not; they’re probably just in the background but I like imagining they’re part of the scene). And then the way she’s clutching her head/ear in the second panel. Does it hurt, Dawn? Do all those thoughts make your brain hurt?

  82. Miss Othmar
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#75): On the off chance that this was a genuine inquiry ;-)

    The Mid-Atlantic states are Virginia, Maryland, Delaware — generally those in the vicinity of Washington D.C.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#Y171): I queek, you queek, he/she/it queeks, we queek, they queek…

  83. BigTed
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#39): I realize that… you just have to go with it.

  84. Violet
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Don’t be ridiculous, Marty. Gil is never indecisive. Indecision is for people who remotely give a rat’s ass about anything, ever.

  85. Zla'od
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    Wikipedia knows of three Martin Clarks: a Scottish footballer, an English snooker player, and an American judge who has written several novels:

    *The Many Aspects of Mobile Home Living (Alfred A. Knopf, 2000)

    *Plain Heathen Mischief (Knopf, 2004)

    *The Legal Limit (Knopf, 2008)

    Could these be clues?

  86. Comcis Fan
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    #60 patty leidi: Ha! Beetle Bailey too risque for Denver!

  87. bunivasal
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorpe never feels like a narrative to me. More like doing shrooms and wandering through a high school with a strobe light.

  88. Comcis Fan
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Pardon, I mean leidy.

  89. Muffaroo
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @patty leidy (#60): You probably got a ‘bunny strip’ — those are the harmless, non-controversial substitute strips the Walker factory keeps ready for when the regular strip is too edgy for some papers.

  90. gnome de blog
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#49): Black and white?

  91. Doug
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    It’s time to pay the price@79-Prehaps there’s something we don’t know about Mr. Wilson-is he The Master?

  92. gnome de blog
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#82): What about Pennsylvania? What do you call the states on the Atlantic Coast between the Mason-Dixon Line and New England?

    (ducks, expecting snarky reply)

  93. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#33): Being verbed is an awesome and serious burden, sir. And as we all know, with great power comes great opportunity to sit on your ass and whine a lot.

    (And in a nice coincidence, I did indeed wear a pencil skirt today. No bustier, though….)

    @KarMann (#53): I believe I handled the pressure better than Spidey would have: no grimacing, thought ballooning, or flop sweat. I did quip in response, though; should I be concerned?

    @Aviatrix (#75): There will, in fact, be a three-hour tour. Dibs on the sparkly red Ginger dress! (Although I guess I’m more of a Mary-Ann, unfortunately….)

    @Miss Othmar (#82): Hey—one of my university colleagues, Naomi Baron, is cited in that entry! She’s a very smart cookie!

  94. wossname
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#75): Aviatrix, you need to make plans to aeronavigate to whatever general aviation field is nearest to our destination that weekend! (And it will not be in the middle of the ocean.)

  95. Aviatrix
    February 4th, 2010 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#82): So why are they called mid-Atlantic? They are on the western shore of the Atlantic. I suppose the Atlantic does go further west, past Florida, but not a lot. I declare the meetup to be a west-Atlantic one.

  96. Charterstoned
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Woo-hoo! My school already called a snow day for tomorrow!

  97. Miss Othmar
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#92):

    What about Pennsylvania? What do you call the states on the Atlantic Coast between the Mason-Dixon Line and New England?

    (ducks, expecting snarky reply)

    No snark from me. I grew up in NY, which we called part of the “Tri-state area” — being NY, NJ and CT. I imagine people in Philly might have referred to PA, NJ and DE similarly. RI is a suburb of Boston, and therefore part of New England….

  98. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#95): West-Atlanticon!

  99. dyslexic dog
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @patty leidy (#60):

    You can get anything you want at Alice’s Internets.

  100. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    February 4th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#77): Josh, I guess you are correct. I guess I just don’t like the way the art in this strip has evolved.

    One Big Happy is still my favorite strip.

  102. Red Greenback
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#51): “GT: Gil’s sweater vest, Kaz’s earrings…. just who runs the wardrobe dept. in this strip, anyway?”
    Edith Crackhead.

  103. benro
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#92): Pennsylvania isn’t really on the Atlantic coast, unless you count the Delaware River as the Atlantic.

  104. Crankenstank
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson is planning on killing Dennis’ children. How cute!

  105. Josh
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#97): Strictly speaking, and somewhat counterintuitively, the phrase “the tri-state area” doesn’t actually apply to the entirety of at least one of those three states: I grew up in Buffalo and we certainly weren’t part of it. My impression is that it really only applies to greater New York City, though the borders are drawn fairly liberally.


  106. Miss Othmar
    February 4th, 2010 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#100):

    Official DC Metro Area Snow Policy

    This applies to the entire state of Virginia, as far as I can see….

    @Josh (#105): Buffalo? Can’t say I’ve heard of it….

  107. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#106): they have wings there, doncha know?

  108. Uncle Lumpy
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#106):

    Buffalo? Can’t say I’ve heard of it….

    I saw it once in a Mark Trail foreground. Nigh on blotted out the sun.

  109. Uncle Lumpy
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Its butt cried out, “I wish I were Albany!”

  110. Uncle Lumpy
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    And lo, it was!

  111. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#109): o goddess. You know bats:[ is going to have to ‘shop that now.

  112. mr 12 oz can
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    im reading the complete dick tracy volume 9 its quite excellent . i also started checking out another strip brewster rocket good stuff . i stopped reading rex morgan maybe if cue and the cab driver return ill go back.

  113. Thomas B.
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]


    What is it with this family and hands on the face when thinking?

  114. exapno
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#105):

    I live in Orange County, N.Y, and we claim to have a TRUE Tri-State area- the point where NY, NJ and PA meet at Port Jervis, N.Y. There is a point where Interstate 84, while technically in NY, is in all three states at once – or none of them, depending on your perspective…..

  115. Super King
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Doug (#91):

    Mr. Wilson is simply one of The Master’s CLEVER DISGUISES.

    I wish I had a monitor as big as Wilbe… Wait. That’s too big to be a computer screen…
    Is Wilbur staring at himself in a mirror? Has he taken some lsd, in a feeble attempt to relive his wild and hedonistic hippie years, which have been recalled by Kurt’s (recentish?) appearance ?

    Ahhhh…thinking…too much…about…Mary Worth comics…brain…hurts…no…sense…
    **head explodes**

  116. Chip
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe no one has commented on the misspelling (typo?) in Dick Tracy- “Virgil Ohso’s Liar”
    Maybe it refers to the reply he’s going to get from his henchman.

  117. Poteet
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#43): Yep, this canoe trip is right out of a very bad dream.

  118. Chip
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    I laughed out loud at ‘Cathy’ today. My wife and I have this exact same argument at least twice a year! She complains that she can’t look at our digital photos on the computer, and I challenge her to find any of the prints from a specific time crammed in a drawer somewhere. The kicker is most of them are double prints, so there’s 2 of every picture stashed away.

  119. Chip
    February 4th, 2010 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail – “Deliverance” anyone? Another canoe trip gone bad. “Squeal like a pig for me!”

  120. zerowolf
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    FC: Shaking children leads to brain damage. This panel explains everything about FC.

  121. zerowolf
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    MT: You got to love a strip where you can say, “Look at the size of that beaver!”

  122. Moonpedanticcattie
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#77):
    @Josh (#105):
    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#107):
    Josh, I know you know this, but I can’t help myself….Charles SCHULZ, not Schultz. “Schultz” was a sergeant who knew nothing. No-thing, Col. Hogan!

    I recall Buffalo as being part of the “Niagara Frontier” from my childhood viewings of the TV affiliates (mainly WKBW’s Rocketship Seven) back in the 60′s. It always brought the images of covered wagons and prairies to mind. Do folks still refer to the area as the Niagara Frontier? The place I grew up in, Toronto, was simply “that place that’s closed on Sundays”.

    And….I’m going to Buffalo tomorrow! Yes, I’m taking the day off work, and heading south with a friend for a long-planned daytrip to the Walden Galleria and the Anchor Bar. Hurray!

  123. Jamus The Bartender
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: I’m not sure, but I think Maureen Fox worked at Dirty Dog’s during her college days. She doesn’t like to talk about it.

  124. Muffaroo
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#116): At least two people commented on it yesterthread. I don’t recall who. Folks don’t wait for a new post before they start snarking on the day’s strips.

  125. mollificent
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Hey everyone! A favorite customer of mine came into my shop today and invited me to accompany him to the theatre tomorrow night, to see…*drumroll please*…South Pacific! I shall keep my eyes peeled for creepy Charterstone denizens, when I’m not otherwise occupied indulging my theatre geekiness. :D

  126. Thomas B.
    February 4th, 2010 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Roses in Wilbur’s place, but from whom? Well there are 13 of roses. The 13th letter of the alphabet is M. 13 is just 1+3 which is 4, meaning 4 letters. The roses are red, red is a primary color. M, 4 letters, priMARY color… of course, the flowers are fom Mary. Mary Worth!

    I’ve solved the mystery. Eat your heart out Slylock Fox!!

  127. Walker of Dog
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    Everyone needs to lay off poor Dawn today – her hearing aid’s acting up and her dentures and/or face won’t stay put. We’ve all been there.

  128. Forty-Two
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    “Martin Clark” is an unusual name in the same universe that “Ian Cameron” is an exotic one.

  129. Carlos Del Pino
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    hahahaHAHAhaha!!! that dennis the menace comment was sick!! hahahaha

  130. Dr. Weird
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#112):

    The Complete Dick Tracy books are quite good… I have 1-5 myself. It’s a fine strip then and a great portal on another time.

  131. Dancing Bear
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    I think we should simply be grateful that today’s groundbreaking comics page reference to “rump sniffing” did not appear in “The Lockhorns.”

  132. Brickers
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Since the street the strip’s set on is called ‘Elm Street’, I think there’s only one thing this comic can be hinting at. “Robert Englund IS Mr. Wilson in…”

  133. ElkMeadow
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    @Forty-Two (#128): It’s interesting that Toby was apparently once some kind of artist slumming around the Village in New York.

    Maybe Toby was Abby’s roommate at one time?

    Maybe she knows who Martin Clark is?!

    Maybe she was Kurt’s “other mother”!

  134. Anonymous
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    BB: One way to racket up the creepiness factor is to have the second panel occur entirely in Beetle’s imagination as he ponders the question, “Where do they walk to?” Being treated like a fire plug, getting one’s rump sniffed, and being worked over by furry guys can’t be all that far removed from his normal fantasies.

  135. Slither
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    If Otto gets a lap dance from one of the “oodles of French poodles,” I hope he doesn’t leave a puddle.

  136. bats :[
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    @Moonpedanticcattie (#122): oh, you party beast! Don’t forget an offering of Snappy Tom (did I get that right?) for Jane…

  137. Farley's Revenge
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: What are the odds that this neverending story will end up with the old lady casually saying, “So. Long story short is the guy you thought was your father? He wasn’t. It was the Austrian singer/Nazi…And Edda wasn’t the first one to discover the many uses of a piano” or some such variation?

    (If that’s a horrendous sentence, I’ll just nip off and stab myself with a sharpened red pencil to save the super-heroines the trouble.)

    MW: It occurs to me that at no point in this neverending slog has anyone actually bothered to find out if Abby is really dead. All anyone has is Kurt’s saying she’s dead. What if she’s really alive and with this Martin guy, having been happily married to him all these years? The only blot on the landscape is their ne’er-do-well son Kurt, who is quite the pathological liar and con artist.

  138. Farley\'s Revenge
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#94): I’ve lived in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. There are a group of rocks out there called the Azores. Lovely place. Winds blow…a lot.

    So if this meetup is going to take place in the Azores, I’m there.

  139. Poteet
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:13 am [Reply]


    LUANN — I look forward to seeing what other Mudges will do with this charming metaphor.

    PHANTOM — Is it just me, or does Savarna’s family look like the sort of family one might veer away from if one encountered them on deck?

    S-M — Please tell me that tomorrow’s strip will feature loud sustained superhero laughter, followed by Spider-Man getting a swirly.

  140. Poteet
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    @mollificent (#125): Have fun! And speaking of musicals, I’m actually feeling a little bitter because LUANN has veered away from WEST SIDE STORY. I wanted to see how the hell they were going to manage the production when, as far as I can tell, there are only seven or eight students in the entire school.

  141. Poteet
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#137): Interesting! And as long as we’re going in that direction, maybe Kurt is actually unrelated to Abby and is shacked up with her as her boy-toy, and the two of them plan to take Wilbur for what little he’s got.

  142. KarMann
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    GA: He got his uniform in a woman’s size? Klinger, eat your heart out!
    MT: Yay! More beavers! Even more than Aviatrix wants to get in her picture!
    MW: The teddy bear on the bed is a nice touch. Just the thing to help keep us from thinking of her as an adult. As if we needed the help.
    Phantom: That’s why he’s a stripey-butted superhero! Can’t get anything past him!
    Pluggers: Crap. Living in a ferret rescue, this one leaves me feeling distinctly Pluggerish. At least I don’t have a weekly pill box of my own, yet.
    S-M: Thing there is at least as quick as the Phantom!

  143. True Fable
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Cathy (Must Die!) For the sake of sanity I have to assume that none of those bazillion pictures she talks about, are not pictures of Cathy. Better that the camera points away from her at all times.

    Dennis Ruff wants nothing to do with anything you’ve blown, Dennis.

    Edge of the teeth City I figured out who these parents remind me of! They remind me of South Park’s Stan’s parents. You know, the ones who are so busy trying to be The World’s Greatest Parents, they forget to actually listen or interact with the kids for any measurable amount. So yeah, Mother, the kids don’t know how to behave because they’re the whiny spoiled petulant brats YOU’VE raised. Ha ha!

    Freakin’ Winkerstinger Funky is smiling? Wowee! Someone must have run over a small child.

    WTF GT So just what do they pay Gil to do, if he’s farming out the coaching duties to bystanders?

    Scenes from Suburban Hell Her glasses held her hair in a bun AND strapped down her breasts? It’s true, men don’t recognize girls who wear glasses as being girls.

    Sam Driver’s Pretty People Fucking Posse! OKAY, O-KAY. Lots of Forn action going on at Spencer Farms, and for once Godiva didn’t ride the Arabian. Now y’all go home to your nine zillion kids and let’s bring Neddy in! With another storyline about fucking!

    Bradann The joke’s on us! Here we thought Brad and Toni were going to be caught doing something nasty in the firehouse breakroom, but this is Luann, which means Brad will get all sticky and messy and hardy har har.

    Fist O Justice Theater I smell a punch coming!

    Mary, Queen of the Damned It would be an interesting mystery if we had, you know, like any fucking idea what is going on. Personally I think “Martin Clark” is one of Margo’s dad’s pseudonyms, and Margo’s about to get a half-brother. Then she and Mary can fight over the carcass, like two feral animals at feeding time.

    Kit Walker, Logic Ranger! “ that means we’re kind of related, I think! And I’ll have a reason to stay celibate even though I’ve come here to NOT do that! And this will be the pattern for the next twelve months!”

    Rex Morgan, GGW “She’s going to stay with us for a long, Loooong time, as long as she believes I’m cute for an older guy!”

    The Amazing Fantastic Four Yeah, because Spiderman sure as hell doesn’t do squat. Does this mean ( I hope i hope I hope!) that this is going to become The Amazing Fantastic Four, for real!?! Pleeese, I’ve been a good boy and this would be such a great gift for everyone!

  144. NoahSnark
    February 5th, 2010 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    Sadly, Sarge and Otto’s night out ended in heartbreak when Sarge discovered his girlfriend dancing on the main stage under the pseudonym Lady St. Bernard de Woof Woof.

  145. gnome de blog
    February 5th, 2010 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    @benro (#103): Idaho is 450 miles from the Pacific Ocean, but in many respects it’s part of the Pacific Northwest.

  146. gnome de blog
    February 5th, 2010 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#133): Maybe Martin Clark is Martin Clark Magee. It all fits with the Mary Worth/Apartment 3-G synchronicity. I still think Tommie is Mary Worth’s secret abandoned daughter by Frank the overbearing skater-dad, conceived while Black Jack Worth served time for embezzlement. They never found the money because Mary took it. How do you think she got from selling apples on the street to a soulless condo in SoCal? Meddling’s fun, but it doesn’t pay.

  147. Mibbitmaker
    February 5th, 2010 at 3:59 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#139): (Mine, alittle early) –

    Luann: And, quickly, the donut’s jelly spill molded itself into the shape of Brad’s mom.

  148. Joe Biden's Hair Plug Doctor
    February 5th, 2010 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    Just trying out the new name. . . I really should stop drinking.

  149. This Guy
    February 5th, 2010 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    Pearls for 2/5: Simpsons did it, Pastis.

  150. John C Fremont
    February 5th, 2010 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    JP – What’s wrong with Rocky’s hand? Must be the crippling effects of arthritis. He should see his doctor.

  151. Bryan
    February 5th, 2010 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Fred Basset and Mutts are almost exactly the same this morning.

    Speaking of what constitutes the Tri-State Area, there’s a book called “How the States Got Their Shapes” which I think would be entertaining to many of the people around here. It takes each state in detail and describes why each squiggle and divot is in their borders. For map nerds it’s a heck of a lot of fun.

  152. Fourth Bear
    February 5th, 2010 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    DT: Now that the completely obvious “surprise” plot twist about the sound activated violin has been revealed, I’d just like to point out that the only reason the Strad didn’t go through the scanner was blind luck. It was literally on the scanner as part of the normal security procedure and it was only coincidence that the conductor petulantly grabbed it off at the last second. And there really is no reason for security, which was already screening all instruments, to acquiesce to the conductor’s demands for the Strad to not be screened. Not really a funny comment, just felt compelled to point that out.

  153. Lucky
    February 5th, 2010 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    B.C. – Why is this so faded? And what’s the joke?

    Beetle Bailey – Way too easy.

    Dennis the Menace – Some dogs are more likely to blow than others. Ruff isn’t in the same league as Fred Basset and Marmaduke.

    Funky Winkerbean – I think Batiuk is just playing with us now.

    Garfield – This would’ve been a lot funnier before Jon and Liz became a couple and this comic started having actual story arcs again.

    Hi & Lois – Well maybe you should’ve just removed your glasses and not also opened your hair and removed your cardigan in slow motion like shy, geeky girls always do.

    Pluggers – I thought those were his grandkids before reading the subtitle.

    Spider-Man – The unintentional comedy in that second panel just can’t be unintentional, can it?

  154. Little Guy
    February 5th, 2010 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#119): Followed by a Fisting O’ Justice.

    Curtis: Future Strip – Curtis is in the kitchen with his parents. Barry runs in from the living room and accuses Curtis of picking on him. Curtis gets the blame.

    When that happens, it’s time to hang it up, Ray.

    JP: I think I see the creepy old lady from “Legion” crawling on the ceiling.

    Purple Stripeypants Bigamist: There. I saved your two months.

  155. Michael
    February 5th, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    I prefer to think that Sarge’s “Is this it” is not a query about their destination, but an expression of a deeper existential crisis. “Is this it, Otto? Is this all I have to look forward to until I die? Spending my days physically and emotionally abusing Beetle in a futile attempt to compensate for my own insecurities, and my nights following you around to deviant furry sex clubs to prove to myself that I can still feel any emotion, even disgust? I remember when I was a boy; the world seemed so different then…” And it goes on like that until eventually Sarge is punching out his imaginary friend in the parking lot and plotting to destroy modern civilization.

  156. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    DT: I think I see where this gag is going, but Those Endearing Young Charms is not exactly a staple of the string quartet literature.

  157. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    H&L: “Would you look at me differently if I took my glasses off?” “Possibly, but if your cleavage keeps growing at that rate, your chest will be entirely bifurcated before I can make a move.”

  158. Mibbitmaker
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Cranky: The reason why Conan didn’t last on the Tonight Show, in a nut shell.
    (btw, Team Coco!)

    Sherman’s Lagoon: Team Coco Cola — ?

    NS: Really?? REALLY?? Network executives AND fuckin’ Leno are the reason for this godawful mess in the first place! As if him being a smug ideologue isn’t enough reason to hate Joe Pyle!!! TEAM COCO!!

    RMMD: At least June and/or Rex weren’t hauled off to jail when someone broke into their crib! TEAM CUECUE!!

  159. gleeb
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Dagwood: He has lunch here every day. Shouldn’t he have memorized the menu by now?

    ‘bean: Wally lit that guy’s head on fire? And we didn’t get to see it? Dammit, Batiuk!

    Phantom: She has a murderous thirst for vengeance and she’s hand with a gun. Looks like the ghost-who-walks has him some competition.

  160. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    JP: “Good morning… coffee?” “No, my name’s Rocky, you goddamn disrespectful sonofabitch! I’ll clean your clock, you no good… oh, yeah. Cream, no sugar. Thanks.”

  161. Bryan
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#154): Future Strip – Curtis is in the kitchen with his parents. Barry runs in from the living room and accuses Curtis of picking on him. Curtis gets the blame.

    Future strip: Curtis’s boyfriend, an undercover DEA agent is fingered by Barry to drug dealers in exchange for some smack and gets murdered. Curtis goes on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and kills them all, including his own brother.

    Wait, that was the plot to either Foxy Brown or Coffy.

  162. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#142): “Living in a ferret rescue,”

    My hero! *dooks*

    MG&G: reminds me of the Yooper Weather Gauge.

    MC: *chuckle* I had a boss that worked a diet like that, but I’ve mentioned it before. Violet is looking good in the black turtleneck.

    StripyButt: That’s a roomy cabin for a sea truck. You’d think they were on an oil platform or something.

    Zits: please, someone, ANYone, tell me that’s her elbow. . . .

    Frazz: kid, meet Ted Forth.

    OTH: Xrist, now I’ll have that damn song in my head all day. “put silver wings. . . .”

    SpeedBump: with great power comes great responsibility: yer doin it rong!!!

  163. Bootsy
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#62):

    NB, it’s the great typos that make some comments even funnier than they were originally intended. Crotch liking made me giggle. Let the wonton violence begin!

  164. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    for KarMann.

  165. Muffaroo
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    9CL – Never mind the comedy routine. Wait until Gran finds out that the music’s still strapped to his leg, and she’s expected to sight-read it. “C?” “Si. See?” “(sigh)”

    AD – (It’s a little hard to tell, but it looks like they printed a screen preview today.)

    Curtis, you might just as well start beating the shit out of that little creep. You always pay for it anyway, and the experience might just be educational for him.

    Dennis – Yeah, Ruff’s pretty stupid that way.

  166. Muffaroo
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Family – Actually, Dolly, you got a 20 plus a 20, making 40, and it wasn’t an eye test, it was an eye queue test.

    Mark – Uh oh. The beavers are massing. This can’t be good.

    Momma – It would be superfluous to say this is incoherent, but I’m still impressed that he signed it at the bottom, scribbled over the sig, and wrote his name again going up the right edge of the same panel.

    Um, I’m starting to feel guilty about picking on him.

    Pearls – No good can come of this. There will be intoxicated late-night debates on what “Tiara, Dead Man” means, and Charles Manson will decide it’s a signal to jump Geraldo at the next interview. Okay, make that “not much good.”

  167. AMC
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Luann – It is a rare comic that leaves you wondering if the cartoonist was going for premature ejaculation humor, or masterbation humor.

  168. Muffaroo
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Phantom – Savarina really knows what to say to get Kit hot, doesn’t she?

    Prickly – I’ll at least give it a point for representing a sane point of view today.

    Slylock – Ellen Travis shows promise there — neat and effective, and not a wasted line. Has she been reading MAUS?

    Zippy – Oh, I get it now. Dingburgers are eccentric!

  169. Mimi
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    A3G – I haven’t been following the comments very closely, but has it occurred to anyone that Bobbie may be David Letterman’s stalker? The way she keeps referring to him as “my husband” in her own thought balloons is pretty creepy.

  170. Muffaroo
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#136): Snap-E Tom? (I’m not sure how they spell that.) For a month or so, in the mid 70s, I was having one of those every morning. Jeez, it’s been decades since I’ve seen that disturbing tomato-headed character, now that I think about it.

    @One-eyed Wolfdog (#156): You win the Friz Freleng award for erudite musical references! Your prize is this lovely piano…

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#162): What’s the Yooper Weather Gauge? Call the dog in and see if he’s wet?

    Back in the 80s, I thought briefly of making Houston Weather Gauges, which would be a rock chained to a stake that you drive in the ground. If the rock is wet, it’s raining. If it rolls slowly out to the end of the chain, it’s breezy. If the rock is suspended above the ground at the end of the chain, it’s windy. If the rock revolves around the stake, it’s a tornado. If it’s completely missing, it’s a hurricane. Perhaps not entirely derivative.

  171. 8th Man Fan
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    I think “Mid-Atlantic” is a U.S.-centric term. In terms of the U.S. map, the states in question are on the East coast, facing the Atlantic, smack inbetween the Northeastern and Southeastern states.

    SFx: Considering what’s missing, the ape has a good reason to be angry.

  172. Hibbleton
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    MT: Looks like in panel 2, Mark and the Senator are getting ready to cook all the the geese and beavers they slaughtered from panel 1. It’s a good thing company’s coming.

    A3G: Welcome to a cut-rate “Rear Window.” “OMG, he’s crossing the street!” What tension. What terror. I hope Bobby’s wearing diapers.

  173. Bootsy
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#95):

    I suppose the Atlantic does go further west, past Florida, but not a lot.

    Well, if you go wester than Florida, and you’re still in water, it’ll be the Gulf of Mexico*.

    *Please see Phantom storyline where he dumps the croccos in the Gulf.

  174. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#165): “Sue.” “Sue?” “Si.” (I love that routine.)

    @Muffaroo (#170): pretty much that, but with a pair of walnuts suspended from a board. “if your nuts are wet, its raining”

  175. Chip Whittle
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    I think Crankshaft has come up with a new kind of crotchety geezerism today, which probably reflects that I don’t remember many past Crankshaft strips. “Not too weird?” What does that even mean, no scenes set in some longhair hippie’s psychedelic circus?

    Funky Winkerbean: “Wally! We were just talking about you earlier today! It was time for our annual pretending to care about you! Glad that’s over. So, are you dead yet? You know if your ghost started making out with Ghost Lisa and maybe Ghost Comic Shop Guy We Guess Might Be Dead, Why Not, you could start making people miserable in the astral plane too!

    Why do Montoni’s Pizza aprons feature icons of a chicken drumstick, some giant pieces of popcorn, and a tiny piggy bank?

    Luann: Boy, Anakin Skywalker must be so happy somebody’s taken the record for “most awkward, unnatural, sad metaphor for romance” away from his sand whining.

    The Phantom discovers in flashback that Savarina’s dad was the post-Slimfast Bluto? And how many changes of his purple pajamas do you figure the Ghost Who Isn’t Actually A Widower brought with him?

    Am I alone in looking forward to Ben Grimm eating Spider-Man? Or encouraging it?

  176. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    MW: Now there’s a posture you’ll see recommended by 9 out of 10 typing instructors.

  177. Mibbitmaker
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: More like “Zzzzzz”, amiright? Yok, yok! (okay — cheap joke)

    A3G: Her husband is Donald Trump?

    BBailey: “Hot Dogs” has a different meaning after yesterday’s strip! (eeewwww!)

    Curtis: Barry’s a regular Col. Flagg, ain’t ‘e? Only nowhere near as funny — or ethical!

    DtM: Nope, still can’t get yesterday’s Beetle Bailey out of my brain.

    Doonesbury: No, that’s not what he means by “Stim package”, Ren Hoek!

    FW: That’s IT?? All that excessive, needless dread set up for nothing?? That Batty makes even sparing people what nobody possibly wants disappointing!

  178. TheDiva
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Crankshaft is a Plugger. Why am I not surprised?

    Curtis: Sometimes I think Barry only exists to make that self-absorbed punk Curtis tolerable by comparison.

    DT: “Of course, the bomb completely fills the resonating chamber rendering the violin virtually unplayable, but that’s just a minor detail…”

    FW: Wally wonders if he should come clean now and tell Funky where he hid Mustache Motorist’s body, or just wait until the police break down his door and commit suicide by cop.

    Luann: And containing no nutritional value whatsoever.

    MW: Googling the name Martin Clark (sans quotation marks, as I doubt Dawn is Internet savvy enough to do that) yields nine million hits. Enjoy sending out those e-mails, Dawn–see you in a couple years.

  179. Mibbitmaker
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    H&L: Presenting ~ CLARK KENT GLASSES for WOMEN ~ at participating stores

    MW: Stop thinking cryptically, Dawn!

    Mutts: Not a snappy answer, Earl. Al Jaffee will be displeased.

    ZtP: As Zippy the Pinhead slowly morphs into Gil Thorp. Are we having names yet?

  180. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]


    RMMD: “And yup, this here letter from Wilson and Nolan says that’s exactly what’s gonna happen.”

    BB: The good news is that the hot dog vendor is in stable condition, so Sarge is only down for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.

    SFx: Why is Art Spiegelman pretending to be an 11 year old girl?

    Luann: Sorry girls, he’s taken.

    Garfield: This one is depressing enough as is. The “Garfield Without Garfield” version must be a doozy.

    DT: So Locher is pinching the “Richard Stamos” subplot from that South Park episode with Big Gay Al. Only somehow it’s now even more nonsensical.

    OBH: Interesting revelations here. For some reason I always thought the live-in grandparents were Ellen’s folks.

    S-M: The Fantastic Four point out the obvious. Next week Spidey tells Daredevil to take care of the city while he’s gone, and gets bitch-slapped by a blind man.

    GT: So Steve Luhm is coaching Cassie in how to run with the ball in her armpit? Never too early to prepare for next year’s football season, I guess.

  181. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Does anyone who isn’t a Plugger or a legacy cartoonist (I can’t tell the difference either, ha ha) even refer to “french” poodles these days?

  182. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    MT: Now I understand why people want to explore the wilderness with Mark Trail: He’s such a helpful, informative guide! “That’s a boat, Senator! And it’s coming in our direction! This is a stick in my hand! And I am pokingthe fire with it! Say, fellow, look at those giant beavers gathering around us!”

    A3G: Bobbie, unable to find gainful employment elsewhere, decides to compete for the job of “narration box.”

    SM: Spidey, when you can’t even win a battle with a random brick, whose only super-power is “gravity,” you might not want to suggest that you’re the only guy keeping the city safe.

    FC: Thel sighs with relief, knowing that Dolly’s good vision will be an important asset in her future career scrubbing the muck out of the corners of McDonald’s restrooms.

    BBl: Okay, I’m liking this Mr. Doyle.

  183. imperturbe
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Today’s Judge Parker:


    I guess if the Drivers need extra cash, they can auction the used bedsheets on eBbay

  184. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: You know, I think the fact that Chip’s study partner took off her blazer and lowered her neckline by four inches might be more of a distraction than the lack of glasses.

  185. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Moonpedanticcattie (#122): Hee! Very funny name alteration!

    @Muffaroo (#170): I think bats:[ was referring to Jane’s cat food, but you’re talking about that V-8-type stuff, right? Before I realized the discrepancy, I spent a few minutes being really concerned about your dietary habits.

  186. MaryAnnTheRest
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Slither (#135):

    If Beetle’s buddy Otto ogles oodles of french poodles, and the buddy leaves a puddle while the poodle bats a paddle, that’s called a Beetle’s buddy Otto’s paddled poodle puddle.

  187. imperturbe
    February 5th, 2010 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#127):

    I was thinking the same thing. My grandmother had an identical outfit of high necked flannel nightgown and polyester velour robe. It’s probably the Charterstone version of a babydoll nightie.

  188. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @imperturbe (#187): I was relieved, though, because even though this nightgown-robe combo is elderly and ugly (eldergly? ugerly?), at least it makes some kind of sense.

    I almost forgot: I had a horrific, comics-related dream last night. I was reading Family Circus (I know: the horror! the horror!), and it must have been a Sunday strip because it had multiple scenes. Anyway, the first couple scenes were the Melonheads talking about a trailer: “I’ll be in the trailer.” “Take care of the trailer.” And then it showed Bil and Thel, perplexedly wondering, “What? We don’t live in a trailer.” And the final scene was the truly terrifying part: The Melonheads were parading by, carrying a banner that read, “Family Circus: The Movie!,” with small print at the bottom of the panel reading, “Trailer coming in May.”

    Wouldn’t you wake up screaming, too, tearing at the gathered neck of your purple granny-gown?

  189. Mordock999
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 02/05/10

    Toni – “You see Brad I want OUR Relationship and later Our Marriage, to be like, to be like…., well, THIS artery-clogging jelly donut: Unhealthy, Pointless, Fattening, and Ultimately LETHAL. Do you understand, Dear?”

    Brad – “Yeah, I think so. (Sigh) Oh, how I MISS Diane….,”

    Toni – “DIANE, WHO?!!?”

    DEATH to TJ!!!

    February 5th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    BB- I think that Sarge and Otto a big supporters of keeping the “Don’t ask Don’t Tell” policy.

  191. wossname
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    DT – Ahem – I can’t resist pointing out that I predicted the exploding violin on January 12
    and the high note detonation on January 17. (Not that high C is very high.)

    MT – How quiet can this cove be when in one small panel, you have seven Canada geese honking and four beavers yakking to each other and cutting down trees? And that’s before the Parker Brothers show up with their loud motorboat.

    MW – Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. What does that mean? Is Dawn saying that she sees why Abby would have dumped a dorky loser like Wilbur?

    True Fable @ 143 – Wow! I haven’t heard anybody say “Hardy har har” in about 50 years. When I was kid, it was considered a very witty way of expressing sarcasm. And now that I think about it, didn’t Jackie Gleason say it regularly on “The Honeymooners”?

    bourbon babe @188 – That is one of the scariest dreams I’ve ever heard of.

  192. gnome de blog
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Bobbie Merrill said:

    My husband hasn’t changed. He still walks like he owns the world.

    Well, that clears everything up. Her husband is Margo.

  193. Flipper
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (Y#128): Don’t give in so easily just because the Pope has pontificated his crazy “evolution” theory! In my opinion, the recent drop in OBH’s quality is much more of a “creationist” problem, and I think that’s your gut feeling, too. We’re not talking a 50-year span here; OBH strips from 10 years ago look dramatically different in character design, line smoothness, shading and lettering. The books of strips were being released regularly, but stopped abruptly in 2001. Either creator Rick Detorie handed off the artwork to others, or something in his health changed (like Schulz’s tremors that caused wiggly lines in his later strips). Or an asteroid hit him.

  194. commodorejohn
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    A&J – Arlo looks appropriately exasperated. The only problem is that you can’t exactly hand out dressings-down for mindless trend-following to your spouse.

    AS – The text could be quite a bit snappier, but in the interest of fairness I’ll have to admit that today’s Argyle Sweater was in fact both funny and not a transparent Far Side ripoff. See if you can keep this up, Hilburn.

    BBlue – Heh, nice.

    Bizarro – Tell, don’t show!

    Curtis – Christ, what an asshole.

    DT – After all, it’s not like tune-ups begin on A, or like the large blocks of stuff inside would play hell with the acoustics and make the violinist realize something was wrong. Good plan, guys. Really can’t see any problems with it.

    F- – So at what point did this nugget of wisdom pass from pertaining to Stegosaurus (whose brain was, in fact, about the size of a walnut, unless you’re a subscriber to the “second brain” theory where it is supposed to have kept more brainy stuff in a larger cavity in its ass) to all dinosaurs? Because I’m guessing these guys are supposed to be T-rexes, whose brain was actually larger, volume-wise, than a human’s. Come on, dinosaurs are at least cool enough for you to bother learning the basics, cartoonist!

    FW – Ha ha!

    H&L – Is this intended to be an invocation of The Glasses Gotta Go? Because, um, you know, generally people who take off their glasses look exactly the same except for the lack of glasses, no matter what Hollywood thinks.

    JP – Things I learned from today’s Judge Parker: All-night marathon make-up sex leaves you perky and energetic the next morning.

    Luann – “I want our relationship to be like these donuts: a hole with nothing inside.”

    MT – Why is Mark roasting a paint bucket over the fire?

    MW – I love how Dawn has her fingers perfectly poised above the keyboard; it looks less like she’s using the computer and more like she’s playing pretend. “Here’s the famous Internet Detective, preparing to ferret out the truth about her supposed half-brother…”

    PBS – Don’t forget the obnoxious cacaphony, Rat.

    Phantom – Oh man oh man is this ever more than I could possibly have hoped for. As long as my expectations are being exceeded, could we maybe get a spin-off strip for her?

    SF – Hey, at least he’s up-front about it.

    SFx – Ellen Travis, age 11, should fill in for Stephan Pastis sometime.

    SM – Oh, Thing, you are just awesome.

  195. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Flipper (#193): or, as Mr. Detorie himself has explained here, he changed his art style in response to the shrinking sizes of the comics as printed.

  196. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#194):

    All-night marathon make-up sex leaves you perky and energetic the next morning.

    Was it “make-up” sex? Or was it “hey, if we stay together, we can both keep all our money” sex? (And that’s the best kind of sex, as everyone in the Parkerverse knows.)

  197. Calico
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Curtis – ha ha, corporal punishment is funny!

    MW – Nice to see that Dawn has a stuffed rat on her bed. Cuddly.

  198. commodorejohn
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

  199. commodorejohn
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#195): What are you, crazy? That’s far too simple an explanation!

  200. Flipper
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#195): Ah, so it was the asteroid! Thank you for the information, though it is sad to hear Detorie did that. Also, I wish someone had shared this information with @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL much earlier.

  201. UncleJeff
    February 5th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#186): Thank you (and Happy Birthday) Red Buttons

  202. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#186):

    that does put a different twist on the Suessian line about the “noodle-eating poodle”.

  203. UncleJeff
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Let’s face it Brad, as long as you can keep it up for a couple of minutes (and are willing to babysit her “niece” Shannon), you’re just a little more valuable to her than that “personal massager” she bought at Sex World.

  204. bats :[
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#185): the only food product by the name Snappy Tom I’d ever heard of was the tomato drink Snap-E Tom. When Mooncattie spelled it as “Snappy,” I had to assume that it must be some Canadian/Eastern U.S. feline delicacy, rather than Jane having very eclectic tastes.
    Heck, whaddaiknow? :D

  205. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Flipper (#200): It was. Hasn’t seemed to make much of an impression. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

  206. Flipper
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): Ah, I see. Excuse me while I back slowly away from this…

  207. teenchy
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “…packed full of creams and jellies.”

  208. Vince M
    February 5th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#170): re. Snap-E Tom: I remember seeing a tv ad for the stuff way back – it was animated in a very ‘Tom & Jerry’ fashion, with the standard ‘red-faced firey exhalation’ on tasting the stuff. Not the best way to sell it – there’s probably a reason I saw it only once.

  209. Howland Awl
    February 5th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Luann — “I want our relationship to be like this donut: capable of contributing to your eventually fatal arteriosclerosis. Here, have another one.”

  210. gleeb
    February 5th, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I don’t follow 9 Chickweed Lane anymore, because I believe there is still joy to be experienced in life, but I get the gist reading some of the comments here. Still, this did not prepare me for accidentally seeing February 3rd’s entry in this ride of gams and garbage. Is McDowner really suggesting, though his Wehrmacht officer character (presented here as urbane, intelligent, and reasonable), that Dr Seyss-Inquart was the moral equivalent of Fiorello Laguardia? If so, why is a plain Nazi-apologist on the comics page and not the op-ed pages of the Washington Post, where he belongs?

  211. Chance
    February 6th, 2010 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Surprised no one has mentioned that Dawn has wandered into the Shifting Door Room.

  212. Chance
    February 6th, 2010 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    Also surprised no one has mentioned Josh’s typo “caught site of.”

  213. Bennui
    February 6th, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    All recent panels of Dawn look scenes from a Nellie Bly asylum expose.

  214. edosan
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    I will never understand the “Pluggers owning pets” thing. It’s like when you see a pig on a sign for a Bar-b-que place — you’re selling out your own race!

Comments are closed for this post.