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Extreme measures

Mary Worth, 2/7/10

Uh oh — it looks like Dawn isn’t going to sit back just acquiesce to losing her father’s affections to some scam artist! It seems that she is going to try shock therapy by finding the one person who can be guaranteed to terrify Wilbur back to his senses: erstwhile romantic rival Martin Clark. Sure, he’s been dead for years, but that will make the ultimate confrontation all the more harrowing, as Dawn rigs up the rich man’s corpse to move and speak like a marionette. “Look at me, Wilbur!” Martin will say, thanks to the ventriloquist lessons Dawn’s been taking on the sly. “I’m a charred, reassembled cadaver, and yet Abby would still choose me over you!”

Blondie, 2/7/10

This right here is seven panels of Superbowl Sunday inanity punctuated by one glorious moment of complete madness. I suppose that longtime readers of Blondie are supposed to know that spinning around on one’s head is an indicator of extreme, uncontrollable emotion of some kind, but to the casual viewer, it would just appear that Dagwood, Herb, and Daisy have chosen to express their football-related outrage with a stunning display of eerily synchronized breakdancing. Which I for one am totally in favor of.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/7/10

You know who I just realized that I totally don’t get at all? Berna! She’s Rex and June’s receptionist and she runs a successful salon of some sort and she uses Yugoslav generalissimo Tito’s recipes to dominate the local restaurant scene? Why would such a power broker need a relatively menial job behind a clinic’s front desk? Perhaps she uses it to drum up business for her salon. “Honey, trust me, Western medicine can’t do a thing about those split ends. Here’s my number.”

Meanwhile, I look forward to seeing how this strip attempts to make a guy named “Toots” who has a stripey rugby shirt, a goofy little beard, and a lot of hair gel into some kind of threat against Rex and June’s carefully constructed bourgeois order.

Marvin, 2/7/10

Since we only get a single glimpse of Marvin’s dad in this strip, in which he appears to be a good 15 or 20 feet away from his terrible little son and not getting any closer, I’m guessing this is less “father/son bonding” and more “let’s bring the hateful monster outside and leave him there until he ‘accidentally’ freezes to death.”

262 responses to “Extreme measures”

  1. anon
    February 7th, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: WTF is wrong with that mis-shapen PUDDING FACE? I know she’s supposed to have a triple chin, why don’t they just draw the triple chins instead of that mis-shapen BLOB of a face? Creepy!

  2. OTL
    February 7th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    So in the course of one week, we have the possibility of both Marvin and Momma freezing to death? BEST WEEK EVER!!!

  3. anon
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: And since when can you make “a good living” in a salon as a manicurist? What garbage! The poor slaves chained to their work stations 12 hours a day in all those toxic nail palaces might be able to earn a bare living, but a part-time nail polisher in some salon is damn lucky to get half a dozen bored old ladies a day in this economy. Maybe get $10 a session plus tips. Does the job include medical and dental coverage? Is the slutty niece actually going to hang out in a salon 8 hours a day 6 days a week hoping customers will flood in? I think she’ll make just enough for drinking money, for about a week, before she quits.

  4. Miss Othmar
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Not only have Dag and Herb perfected their breakdance choreography, but they have spent hours teaching Daisy their moves. Such dedication! All to provoke Blondie to dress in her ref’s costume once a year…. Tell me, men — was it worth it?

  5. Charterstoned
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    MW – Dawn’s misplaced modifier in the last panel gave me a nano-second’s worth of hope that it was she who was deceased. Of course, there she is, a young woman, still living with her dad who is a paunchy, balding woos, in a Charterstone apartment, reluctantly hosting a scruffy Weston-wannabee. Maybe Dawn’s thought is just the author to her wish–being deceased under those circumstances sounds like a pretty good deal, overall.

  6. fishmorgjp
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    “[L]et’s bring the hateful monster outside and leave him there until he ‘accidentally’ freezes to death.”

    Now that’s entertainment, even if you still have to look at the ever-present lineup of google-eyed zombies in the throwaway logo panel.

  7. Uncle Lumpy
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Marvin’s dad rolls that snowball in grim anticipation that once he’s done, nobody will find the little monster ’til the spring thaw.

  8. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    It takes a man like Toots to strip off the zebra print and unleash the tiger from within. Or, in June’s case, the cougar.

  9. Ed Dravecky
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y123): Abby is Abby Evans and her son Kurt is Kurt Evans but since we last read those last names almost two months ago, forgetting them is understandable. The mental image of Wilbur making sweet love to Abby is, however, seared into my psyche forever.

  10. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Ed, Ed, Ed. Wilbur Weston would never make “sweet love.” Imagine an intoxicated walrus inching its way across the ice toward a bored, uninterested walrus in a hat. Imagine that walrus overtaking the second walrus and the sounds of flapping flesh and general unpleasantness of the act. That would be Kathleen Turner and William Hurt compared to Wilbur Weston and Abby Evans.

    I would like to believe that Abby had a speech impediment. I see Wilbur’s erect penis closing in on Abby’s leathery vagina and her shouting, from beneath the hat, “Yeth! Yeth, Wilbert. Vuck me in my ticht puthy with your thweet thweet penith. Make momma feel thexy! Plant your theed in me. Plant your THEEEEEEEEEEEEED!”

  11. tb4000
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Daddy Marvin is actually hoping his son’s diaper freezes up, because frozen shit is much easier to clean than unfrozen shit.

  12. wossname
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    JP – I’m charmed at the prospect of Sophie riding Sultan across the country to Casa Rockdiva. Will she take the interstate or back roads?

    MW – OK, I know the throwaway panels are supposed to have nonessential information, but “Hmmm… let’s see now…” and “Okay, what do we have here?” take nonessential to a whole new level.

    Mutts – I think somebody just called raccoons “varmints.” I would think that kind of slur would be frowned on by Racoons.

    DT – I’m going to be sadly disappointed if all that happens is that Phil Harmonic conks Kid Vicious on the head with the Strad and all the explosives fall out harmlessly on the ground. We want explosions!

    I do want to compliment Brozman’s color monkeys, though. Sunday DT is always really visually pleasing, with a nice palette that doesn’t clash from panel to panel.

    The other high note in today’s DT is when Low Note says “Hee-haw.”

    Brenda – This story arc shows how you can comment intelligently on a serious issue like the future of journalism (really! I mean it!) while still having a goofily entertaining comic.

    PV – holy shit, what is that thing with the teeth under the water in panel 2? Does Mark Trail know about these?

    @CanuckDownSouth Y98 and Poteet Y102 – I must have deluded myself into thinking CanuckDownSouth’s fig leaf suggestion was actually in FOOB. Sorry I misled you.

  13. Ukulele Ike
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Damn. I have to admit that, as I read “Blondie” this morning, my eyes completely skipped over the break-dancing panel to zero in on Blondie’s tight, tight, referee costume. Fetish fuel for certain. So thank you, Josh, for spotlighting it today and making sure I didn’t miss Dag and Herb spinning on their heads.

  14. Hibbleton
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Looks like Dawn is pantomiming her scenes for the Charterstone production of Hamlet she’s appearing in. She has the lead, of course, hence the haircut. Otherwise, we have the comics equivalent of a radio sight gag, a Sunday strip spread across seven panels featuring a solo character sitting in front of a computer terminal.

    Loved Blondie today. The synchronized head spins and Blondie as the sexy ref is win win.

    This being Marvin, does that mean that the load in his pants is also frozen?

  15. sarahtheawesome
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Wow, a Marvin cartoon that has no reference to soiled diapers. It’s a miracle! Of course, the “joke” is frozen snot, so possibly it isn’t much of an improvement.

  16. Hibbleton
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#11):

    re Marvin, sorry tb4000, you passed me in typing.

  17. Jimmyleg Jehosephat
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    It is fine public-service strips such as Marvin that help keep the population of our country from recklessly booming.

  18. C.
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: WHAT. THE. FUCKING. FUCK?!

    Call me “country bumpkin,” but is there like some metaphor I’m supposed to know about? The thing is, I don’t think anyone’s ever said “I was so mad I was literally BREAK DANCING” in the history of the entire Cosmos. Or even “so mad he was spinning on his head.” It just doesn’t bloody make sense to me.

    It’s sort of like those horrible early Old Navy ads. I always felt like, “So, if I had the faintest idea who the fuck these people are, would I suddenly find this hilarious?” I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, here.

  19. Jumper
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Marvin’ snot funny!

  20. skullcrusherjones
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    The head spinning panel on it’s own seems like the fellas are involuntarily spinning upside down. Perhaps a poltergeist is the one with the Blondie referee fetish.

    Serves them right for building a house on an ancient Indian football field.

  21. Chip
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Let’s see. Martin Clark is dead, and Wilbur lives at Charterstone with Mary Worth… Point: Martin!

  22. Jimmy Fingers
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Google sez: No results found for “so mad he was spinning on his head”.

  23. Buck Ripsnort
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    If Blondie didn’t dress up in that tight ref’s outfit, I’d be pretty disappointed too!

  24. wossname
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#5): Precisiona thanks you for pointing out this prime example of how a misplaced modifier can lead to the speaker’s untimely death.

  25. Joey Blowey
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Really thought you would have Beatle Bailey with Sarge in his padded cell today. :(

  26. JD
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Setting aside the fact that Marvin’s frozen snot joke is stolen from a classic Calvin and Hobbes strip, I was really confused by what I read as “FATHERISON BONDING” because I mistook the slash for an i.

  27. snow miser
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Anybody getting a dominatrix vibe from Blondie?

  28. Mibbitmaker
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Given that there’s 3 of them doing that, it’s like they suddenly turned into the Three Stooges. Or Three Curlys, one-upping his spin-on-the-floor move. WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB….!!
    Meanwhile, the creators of this particular strip are doing their own disappointed yelling: “NO! Dammit, why isn’t that Josh guy using just that panel separately?! HE OFTEN DOES THAT!” “All that extra drawing for NOTHING!!”

    MW: Looks like ol’ Martin’s on the Last Train To Clarkesville, ifyaknowaddImean.

    RMMD: Toots? I dunno. We’re really still not over the last quirky character that we’re supposed to hate but really love and root for: Cue. Too soon, man… too soon.

    Marvin: Finding new ways to disgust its readers. I don’t know if I want to retch, or start singing “I Am the Walrus”. “Goo goo goo joob” does sound like baby talk, after all.

  29. Lawyerbob
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Oh, boy, you bet, snow miser! Blondie can “throw a flag” on me any time!

    MW: I can see how Dawn found Martin Clark so easily, since a search comes up with only 98,700 hits.

    RMMD: Speaking of dominatrix vibe, Rex is awfully afraid of June’s reaction, isn’t he?

    Marvin: Now that we’ve seen a frozen snot joke, Marvin has about run out of bodily excretions that can be used as punch lines. I guess we can look forward to a riff on pus.

  30. Lolsworth
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    The throwaway panel is the best thing about this Sunday’s Marvin. The title character just sitting there, all stoic, silently contemplating his freezing death-in-progress. The attention to detail is remarkable: faint touches of red at his cheeks as his core temperature slowly drops below sustainable levels, the tiny bags under his eyes highlighting the unmistakable dead grey non-glow of resigned despair (for which I’m assuming Tom Armstrong used a mirror for reference)…

  31. Uncle Lumpy
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @snow miser (#27):

    Anybody getting a dominatrix vibe from Blondie?

    “Out of bounds, worm! Out of bounds!”

  32. Red Greenback
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Panel three is warning us of the dire consequences of what would occur if everyone in China flushed their toilets at the same time!

  33. Red Greenback
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Aw, crap! Make that panel five.

  34. TheDiva
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Cathy: Okay, when you start drawing lines on junk food, you’re taking the gender stereotype thing WAY too far.

    C’shaft: I can’t believe Cranky is actually volunteering his time to brighten the lives of less fortunate seniors. I can only assume he’s spreading misery on a larger scale now.

    FW: Cory assumes everyone is an asshole. Since his primary male role model is Funky, this is understandable.

    MW: Hmmm, another person connected to Kurt turns out to be dead. Maybe the “fishing trip” was just an excuse to scout out a potential body dump.

    Lio: The girl’s gym was just as bad, if not worse.

    PBS: *sniff*

    Pluggers live in a permanent state of denial. Then again, this is probably the only thing keeping them from suicide.

  35. Mibbitmaker
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Prof Papa is about as decisive as a bipartisan committee headed by Jimmy Carter and Mitt Romney! ….Or is he?

  36. Thomas B.
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Dawn’s ever changing computer is at it again.

    As a visual bonus, in panels 2,3,4, and 6 she is using American Sign Language: I’m a little rusty but I’m sure that reads: ‘C’ ‘L’ ‘U’ ‘B’. Subconsciously she is asking for a club sandwich. And why not? She’s been at the computer for like 8 minutes. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and the sandwich doesn’t fall far from the mouse pad.

  37. Nekrotzar
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @OTL (#2): Certainly it will be cause for celebration if predictions of Marvin’s sub-zero demise are fulfilled, but no week in which we are forced to contemplate nasal mucous frozen onto Marvin’s face can be considered a candidate for ‘best week ever.’

  38. mr 12 oz can
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    mary worth-why does every sunday strip always start out showing whatever building there in . i see through the window its light out but is dawn just waking up or getting ready for bed judging by the outfit shes wearing .
    rex morgan – i wanted to stop reading this strip but i see this guy toots bringing lots of hijinks to the story . if he was wearing a ascot it would be a homerun for sure.
    scary gary -the munsters and the munster car in todays strip . i wonder if this guy sells his oringinals

  39. Thomas B.
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Silly woman, there are no time related penalties in football.

  40. ElkMeadow
    February 7th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#28):

    RMMD: Toots? I dunno. We’re really still not over the last quirky character that we’re supposed to hate but really love and root for: Cue. Too soon, man… too soon.

    Bring back Cue! This guy Toots is a poser.

  41. ElkMeadow
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34):

    MW: Hmmm, another person connected to Kurt turns out to be dead. Maybe the “fishing trip” was just an excuse to scout out a potential body dump.

    Ooh, yes! Kurt’s got a list, just like in “The Incredibles”, and it’s getting shorter on the “unknown” end and longer on the “terminated” side.

  42. Jamus The Bartender
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Josh, the reins of power have always been held by secretaries and receptionists. This is why Astoria from Cerebus the Aardvark encouraged secretaries and such to take power for themselves to better their lot in life. She knew. Anyway……Toots? Brook’s new bad boyfriend is named Toots?? Yeah, June, feel free to kick her out.

  43. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#39):

    Delay of Game, 5 yards.

  44. trooper6
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    You know, I’ve always had a bit of a crush on June. It’s the mix of Nagel Hair and Brigitte Nielsen in Rocky IV attitude. But seeing her and her evil friend talk casually about tossing her niece out onto the street to become a homeless stripper, or back to a murderous Mommie Dearest…I retract previous attraction. June is just mean, and not in a hot way.

  45. Red Greenback
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    RM,MD: Ya know, looking at Berna got me thinking impure thoughts “She sure reminds me of Pat Carroll”. And then I started pondering “Where do these guys that do the soap strips get their character’s facial templates from?”… I think this may be one of their sources. Jon “Bowzer” Bauman=J.P.’s “Raju”… think about it, people!

  46. Mibbitmaker
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Leave it to Ed Crankshaft to visit the elderly in the nursing home not to be decent, but to just feel young compared to the decrepit. Wonderful humanitarian, our Cranky.

  47. Digger
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Marvin, you should be inside bonding with the fireplace. Actually, the best way to bond with a fireplace is to crawl right inside of it.

  48. Mibbitmaker
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    FC:
    “Bil, honey… Little Jeffy just went on a murder spree, destroying property and hurting kitties, after setting the local nursing home on fire (after Crankshaft left) with a complete death toll! He also is now wanted on a weapons charge and dealing meth in the neighborhood! What do you say to your dad, Jeffy?”

    (Jeffy kisses and hugs his dad through tears)

    “Awww. I can’t stay mad at you, little darling!”

    (Jeffy runs to his room, grinning)

    “Thel… call the police.”

  49. Ed Dravecky
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#10): Point taken. I have some heavy drinking to do now…

  50. mollificent
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Sorry-don’t-have-time-to-catch-up-on-snark-Sunday:

    A3G: “Maybe Aristotle is my chance! I’ll just keep using him like a wadded-up old Kleenex and see what happens.”

    Blondie: I’d be disappointed too. Day-um, but Blondie looks hot in stripes. (And I’m straight. At least I thought I was.)

    FW: See, now that’s the kind of creative thinking that’s underappreciated in today’s academic world. *ducks as CC’s many teachers throw erasers at her*

    JP: Kids make the darnedest commitments!

    MW, panel 3: don’t go there don’t go there don’t go there…dammit, my brain went there. One fifty-gallon drum of brain bleach, please.

    Mutts: Awww. I love big happy affectionate dogs (with the exception of satanic hellhounds who feast on human flesh Marmaduke, of course).

    Phantom: Rockin’ the turquoise stripeybutt this week, I see. Way to mix it up, Ghost-Who-Clashes.

    RMMD: Soul-patched and disreputable-looking he may be, but he’s no Cue. FREE CUE!!

    Sally Forth: Pick up the “His Dark Materials” trilogy, Hil. You’ll fall apart, you’ll throw the books against the wall, you’ll rant and rave at Pullman…and you’ll LIKE it. (At least, that’s what happened to me…your mileage may vary.)

    PBS: Wow. From zero to verklempt in thirty seconds. Pastis, I’m sending you a hug too (and I’ve got at least as much stored up as Pig).

    PV: That’s kind of a nifty illustration of raging waters GAH WHAT IS THAT THING???

  51. Dentuck
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    I think Marvin’s dad is getting ready to teach that giant snowball the gentle art of love-making.

  52. Ribinin
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#39): There IS the commercial 2-minute time out.

  53. 150
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    I, too, would rather see Marvin in the house, “bonding with” the fireplace.

  54. Calico
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    #121 YT – The restaurant did change to a more upscale place during the late 80′s.
    Still quite good, but pricey.

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    NS: Hahah! It’s funny because the bears will die in the nuclear winter, too!

    BB: Today’s strip makes perfect sense: Anyone who finds happiness in Camp Swampy is clearly insane.

    JP: So instead of the Neddy story, we’re going to get the “Sophie Goes to Hollywood” story? Free Neddy! Free Neddy!

    But wait. Would ultimate nerd-girl Sophie really want to visit Hollywood? What with the cheerleading, and now this, I’m thinking that Sophie’s tightened that braid too much and cut off her personality. Free Sophie! Free Sophie!

    A3G: I’m not always thrilled with my future ex, but even I sometimes refer to him by labels other than, for example, “the rat” and “my husband”—such as, say, his name.

    MW: Just what does Dawn hope to learn with this extensive seven minutes’ worth of internet research on Martin Clark? She knows that he’s the same guy who stole Abbey’s heart; so now is she looking for that special website that says, “And 25 years ago, Martin knocked up some townie named Abbey”?

    MT:

    After once being hunted for its feathers and despite widespread habitat loss and its population nearly facing extinction from pesticides, the big bird has made a remarkable recovery.

    Quick! Somebody chain that sentence to a log and let dogs tear apart the syntax! (Even Grammatica’s powers are useless when faced with that mess.)

  56. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    PV: that may be a gynormous viperfish, or some other mesopelagic predator along similar lines.

  57. Calico
    February 7th, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    The first panel where Marvin starts sniffing, I thought he was once again sniffing (and once again enjoying) the odor of his own wet, horrible baby feces.

  58. Mibbitmaker
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    MT: Joe (or is it Moe) Parker: “Yeah, yeah, pelicans, 1972, what-the-fuck-ever, Trail! I was talking here!! We don’t need some sudden nature lesson! Now, where was I — oh, yeah… IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN!…”

    JP: “That’s a really good idea, honey! Let’s go there!”

    Later…..

    “Hey, everyone! I’m baaaack! ….Hello? ….. It’s me, Neddy! …..uh….. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?? WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?!?…..”

  59. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Kibo (#y128):

    Jack Elrod is one of those many cartoonists who is always looking for an excuse not to draw hands.

    Better that, perhaps, than one of those many cartoonists who can’t draw hands and still insist on getting them into every panel, clawing at the characters’ faces like desperate, gnawing, misshapen hand-rats.

    @Miss Othmar (#4): No kidding. I get the feeling that there are plenty of men on this site who would spin on their heads to get Blondie to walk by in a referee outfit.

  60. Jen
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva – I also sniffed at PBS – actually, I started bawling, because earlier in the day, I learned that my dad had a relapse of a medical condition, and had looked to the comics to get my mind off of things for a few minutes. Stephen’s tribute to his father-in-law was beautiful.

  61. Cory
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Guy named Toots; striped shirt; hair gel? Says “Hey babe,” with neo-ironic insouciance? The threat he poses is obvious. He’ll be starting an affair with Rex, who won’t be able to resist him, and soon June will have to kill him to keep her sham marriage intact before anyone else catches her husband kissing him in a parked car. This will give Brook a chance to learn the value of hard work: specifically, how to dig a shallow grave.

  62. tb4000
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    If the Drew Brees/Reggie Bush combo actually manages to take out the Peyton Manning freight train, I too will be making like Boogaloo Shrimp, a la Dagwood and Herb.

  63. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    With the zebra stripes, Blondie looks like Tess Merkel in that Poodles vid.

  64. bats :[
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#8): cougar? Hell! It’s all about Rex: “Hello, Toots!”

  65. jvwalt
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Unfortunately, I think the real truth behind today’s “Marvin” is much more benign, and much less potentially fatal to America’s Favorite Toddler (all rights reserved). It’s not that Marvin’s Dad has made a run for it, leaving Marvin to freeze; it’s more likely that Dad is just out of view — so Tom Armstrong doesn’t actually have to WORK. Look at this strip: One little Marvin cut-and-pasted in every panel, with a bit of snow and “SNIFF” filling in the blanks (in Armstrong’s own type font, I’m sure; God knows he wouldn’t take the time to actually write “SNIFF” over and over).

    Yep, this is just another early tee time for Mr. Armstrong followed by a pitcher of martinis in the clubhouse, in a desperate, fruitless attempt to forget that he makes his living by foisting baby-poo jokes on the American public.

  66. Lucky
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey – Beetle’s position and speech bubble in the first panel suggest painful anal penetration.

    I’m also surprised that no one has pointed out Sarge’s six-fingered hand in the final panel.

  67. commodorejohn
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro – Hee!

    Blondie – The secret to a happy marriage is willing compromise. For instance, catering to your spouse’s NFL fetish.

    Crankshaft – Wait. Is that Funky on the respirator? Is the Winkerverse really an infinite time-loop of misery?

    DT – You know, despite their ever-shifting size, these instruments are the best-drawn things I’ve ever seen in Dick Tracy.

    FW – I’ve said it before, but despite what Batiuk clearly wants me to think, I can’t help but like Cory and his fuck-the-world attitude. I mean, which one of us wouldn’t act the same way if we were dropped into the Winkerverse?

    FoxTrot – Actually, Y133 queek, this would be D&D chess, roughly. And it is glorious.

    JP – “Next week.” So we should be seeing Rocky and Godiva again sometime in…oh, 2015.

    MT – Pelicans are the “picture of grace.” Sure, Mark. Whatever you say.

    MW – Came from money…went to a fancy East-coast college…died in a plane crash…tell me Martin Clark isn’t supposed to be Mary Worth‘s JFK Jr.?

    MC – Ah, don’t worry, Norm. Remember, Bridget is the crazy hippie, not the gold-digger. All you’d have to do is point out that she’d be selling out if she went for someone because of their money.

    NS – What a charming sentiment. You and Batiuk should get together sometime, Wiley.

    PBS – Aww…

    Phantom – ERIC MILLS!?

    PV – Oh man is that a lovingly-rendered anglerfish. Jack Elrod must be jealous.

    RMMD – Oh I am loving this storyline. “Toots” makes Ray from Gil Thorp look positively metal.

    SF – Psst, Hil: Discworld. There’s like 50+ books in the series.

    SM – I could not have asked for a nicer Sunday than seeing the Fantastic Four threaten and harrass Spider-Man. Although I do think Thing’s attempted procktology exam is a bit over the line.

    Edison Lee – Because what better topic for a child mad scientist and a talking rat to cover than…paying bills!

  68. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable: I believe that there’s a True Fable shout-out in today’s OBH!

  69. IagoPogo
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    65.jvwalt
    February 7th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Unfortunately, I think the real truth behind today’s “Marvin” is much more benign, and much less potentially fatal to America’s Favorite Toddler (all rights reserved). It’s not that Marvin’s Dad has made a run for it, leaving Marvin to freeze; it’s more likely that Dad is just out of view — so Tom Armstrong doesn’t actually have to WORK. Look at this strip: One little Marvin cut-and-pasted in every panel, with a bit of snow and “SNIFF” filling in the blanks (in Armstrong’s own type font, I’m sure; God knows he wouldn’t take the time to actually write “SNIFF” over and over).

    Yep, this is just another early tee time for Mr. Armstrong followed by a pitcher of martinis in the clubhouse, in a desperate, fruitless attempt to forget that he makes his living by foisting baby-poo jokes on the American public.

    Um, JV – mebbe you think TOO much, eh? hee hoo!

  70. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    SM: I’d wondered why Spidey only encounters pathetic, half-assed villains: dumb, ineffective Electro with his sparkly cardboard headgear; little BigShot, who kills his own hapless henchman; Doc Ock, who falls for Spidey playin’ possum; etc. But now I get it: the real superheroes take care of the real bad guys, and they leave the muggers, burglars, and criminal-mastermind wannabes to occupy Spidey so he stays out of their way—which is pretty easy, actually, since a good brick can tie him up for hours.

  71. bunivasal
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Blondie:
    I’m troubled by the fact that Blondie apparently took a few minutes to change into her buxom referee outfit before going to yell at her husband and neighbor, and that they’re disappointed if she doesn’t.

    Marvin:
    Tiny homunculus Jeff pushing a snowball in the background is perhaps one of the most chilling visuals I’ve seen in the Sunday comics for a while.

  72. NoahSnark
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Except for one illusion shattering panel, I could almost believe Marvin’s father had abandoned the demonic poop machine to die on an iceflow.

  73. Anonymous
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Dawn is going to use her new-found knowlege of Martin Clark to torment her father: “Guess what, Dad? Your rival, Martin Clark, is dead. You know what that means, don’t you? He and Abby are knockin’ boots in Heaven, and you’re stuck down here with only your precious sandwiches for comfort!”

  74. Perky Bird
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Oops, #73 was me!

  75. Poteet
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#9): Thanks! Info appreciated. So now I get to wonder again why Dawn is obsessed with Martin instead of trying to find out more about Abby. It would be interesting to find out, for example, whether Abby is alive or dead. But maybe Dawn, from her own experience of young womanhood, has decided it doesn’t make any difference.

  76. bats :[
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#59): who cares if you can draw hands, when you can draw fists? PUNCHIN’ fists?!

    PBS: awwwwww. Very nice. I like how hard Pig is evidently hugging Pastis, too.

  77. Calico
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Jen (#60):
    Best wishes to you. That must be tough.

  78. Poteet
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#12): Please don’t give it another thought. I was just reminded that contrary to my earlier assertion, Abby and Kurt do have a last name. I guess it takes all of us working together to make it through these serial strips. It’s so easy to lose track of the, you should pardon the expression, action.

  79. shermy glamrocker
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    I’m thinking the spinning on the head(s) in Blondie is an attempt to literally represent “That call’s so bad, it makes my head spin” without venturing into “Exorcist” territory. That, and it made Blondie put on her sexy referee outfit.

  80. Crankenstank
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    One of the lovely touches of the current incarnation of Blondie is the ability to take Sunday panels out of context and assemble great non-sequiter comics out of them. There was a Sunday panel some years back in Blondie of Dagwood jabbing a running vacuum cleaner into his marital bed, with Blondie jumping out of the bed at the shock of it all (or perhaps intense pleasure) — I had cut it out for the fridge but one of the kids got their hands on it and crumpled it up a while back, alas. I was going to start the great American paste-up graphic novel with that one…

  81. Z
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Booo! Stealing from Calvin and Hobbes isn’t cool, Marivn!

  82. Filthy Assistant
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Toots looks like he’s about to bomb Parlaiment.

  83. Thomas B.
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    While there is a penalty for delay of game and there is a two minute warnings, there is only one penalty in football where a team is docked time rather than distance. If I recall an offensive penalty with under two minutes to play automatically burns 10 seconds off the clock. But other than that no. Why does Blondie even own that thing?

    Does Dagwood have some sort of fantasy where Blondie watches him lineup behind Herb the center? I think I just made myself sick.

  84. Gabby
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    RMMD The part of “Toots” will be played by Dick Shawn.

  85. shermy glamrocker
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    BTW, where would I find Sunday comics online? Apparently Chron.com only has daily.

  86. Anselm
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood and Herb spinning on their heads offends readers’ sensibilities, but Blondie owning, quickly finding and changing into a ref outfit just to tell them to shut up is reasonable?

  87. The Ghost of Jarrod
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    So Herb and Dagwood and the dog breakdance to get Blondie to engage in NFL-related cosplay?

    Well, I guess it makes as much sense as Blondie usually does.

  88. Joe Blevins
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: I know where Wilbur keeps the good scissors! And so does Dawn, apparently, as she uses them to cut her own hair.

    Blondie: I once wondered how the Bumsteads managed to avoid the domestic despair of such other comic marrieds as the Mitchells and the Flagstons. Now I have my answer: shame-based cosplay (with the neighbor involved, no less)!

    Marvin: Yes, Marvin. Bond with that fireplace. Become one with the flames.

  89. Miss Othmar
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#55):

    Just what does Dawn hope to learn with this extensive seven minutes’ worth of internet research on Martin Clark?

    Maybe she is going to help Kurt go down to Florida to collect his true inheritance? Thereby assuring that he is never seen again….

  90. bats :[
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    I am he as you are he as you are me…wait. What?

  91. Uncle Lumpy
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    The Phantom — Hey, the Khagan there in panel 2 is wearing a Skull bodice.

    Limited fashion choices up there in Avaria, I guess. Makes Old Man Mozz look like a hipster.

  92. commodorejohn
    February 7th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @shermy glamrocker (#85): The Chron does actually have Sundays for the color strips, but you have to engage in manual URL editing to see them. Fortunately, Dean Booth has put up a linker script to save you the trouble. Also, many of the Chron’s B&W strips can be read on Sunday on goComics, for which I put together a viewer script to bypass the extraordinarily bloated site.

  93. Izzy
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Dyslexia rendered, for an inane yet intriguing moment, Blondie’s dialogue as: “I’ve never seen so many cad balls in my life!” Which would beg the question, how many cad balls had Dagwood seen in his life?

  94. BoulderDan
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    PBS: Do you think Pig is based off his father-in-law? I seem to remember Rat is based of himself.

  95. shermy glamrocker
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#92): Thanks, commodorejohn! I would hate to miss an exciting development such as the introduction of Toots.

  96. Rusty's Ghost
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Richards doesn’t like Spider-Man. I think it’s because he wears a mask. Mr. Richards has never met any costumed hero who has a secrit identity before. I wish Mrs. Richards had been my mom. I used to like to close my eyes and imagine that – that way I’d really BE invisible instead of just everybody acting like I was. Well, I guess now I got my wish, kind of. Thanks, Scrappy!

    Spider-Man’s plan to go around and tell all the superheroes they should actually fight super-villains and crime is a very good plan, and it’s just like plans I make. I think it would help if he told them the villains have facial hair, which Mark said is an Abomination in the Eyes of the Lord.

    Also, now I get to read more comics cuz no one can see me. They said I had an alcoholic, abusive dad that Mark saved me from. I guess it’s too bad scrappy wasn’t alcoholic and abusive, huh? Who got my Grit points?

  97. Some Guy
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Berna makes a little bit more sense once you realise she is, in fact, former UK Shadow Health Seceretary Ann Widdecombe. Tired of living in a country where even conservative politicians have to pay lip service to the idea of socialised healthcare, she fled to America under an assumed name, and got a job with the most money-grabbing doctor she could find. While her political savvy allows her to control whatever-the-name-of-this-town-is, she continues to work at the surgery because seeing Rex be a colossal dick every day reassures her that her new country has not lost its way.

  98. Carly
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Dawn’s hair is so shiny today I thought on first glance she was starting to go bald like her father. Or that she was her father.

    RMMD has decided to switch up the usual ‘lazy relative needs a job’ scenario from “Please, please hire her.” “I can’t, she’s been fired at the last ten places she worked after a week” to “You don’t want to hire her. Really.” “No, no, I’m sure she’s totally competent to work here!”

  99. Joe Shlabotnik
    February 7th, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    DFE How can Coco not find that hole? And what is up with his hex nut?

    FgoT The Putternuts need to move to Florida where Floyd can find a real Breadfruit tree.

    Hoot Oh, Dandy, you can’t be a nominalist in name only!

    Fg&C The sponge ends up in the blue trash can, ha, ha. Every now and then this strip reminds me how funny it used to be.

  100. skullcrusherjones
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty’s Ghost:

    Doctor Richards didn’t blow through MIT at 15 and get bathed in cosmic rays to be called Mister.

    Unless it’s followed by ‘fantastic’, that is.

  101. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Jen (#60): Jen, I’m sorry that you got bad news—and you’re right, PBS was touching.

  102. Rusty's Ghost
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    If Mr. Richards is really Mr. Fantastic, is Richard his first name? And if he’s a doctor, why couldn’t he fix me so I could play softball, go to school, and have friends and people that like me?

    By the way, big news! The puppy is here! It ran into another alligator, so no hard feelings. It says it’s name is “Sassy, not Scrappy,” and it called me the name Mr. Immanuel got in trouble for. But I think we can be friends.

  103. Amateur
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    My theory: RMMD is celebrating Dickens’s birthday by naming the guy after a character from Dombey & Son. Nice tribute!

  104. KarMann
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    For those liking today’s Foxtrot, cf. today’s Close to Home.

  105. Calico
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    One of my favorite songs, for Dawn Weston:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPo9ISQpzvM&NR=1

  106. KarMann
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lucky (#66): Not only does Sarge have six fingers there, but at the same time he has the usual (for comics and BB in particular) three plus thumb at first, which changes to four plus thumb in the penultimate panel, one of which apparently migrates by the time he’s in that cell, where he has three plus thumb on his left, and five plus thumb on his right. Bizarre.

  107. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    bats #64: I concur. Once Rex sees this li’l bearded piece of candy in his home, all bets are off.

    Question for Josh and everyone else. I have now found two other websites where it seems I’m getting the mobile version of the content instead of the normal site. When I am in Comics Curmudgeon, there is a link for me to go to “Full version of site >>” That version looks like the version I get at work (or… current work until the next bomb drops) on Windows XP but as soon as I go to the comments it’s back to the version with no preview button, no “reply” or anything normal. Today I checked out two sites and got the same thing. Is there something about Explorer on Windows 7 that you have to click to stop from getting the mobile version?

  108. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Oh, if you’d prefer to answer that without leaving a long missive on the site, please contact me at dingogotmybaby@comcast.net.

  109. BigTed
    February 7th, 2010 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    If “Toots” lives up to his name and appearance, June and Rex are about to be confronted by something far worse than even they could have suspected: An all-white frat-boy reggae band.

  110. rocketbride
    February 7th, 2010 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    109: big ted! i had the same thought exactly. i can’t wait to see june’s face when she hears toots and the rex-all’s “funky glenwood.” na na na na na na na…

  111. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#109): Christian White and his Aryan Reggae Band comes to mind.

    (and I wonder who gets that ref without resorting to google. . . .)

  112. Fountain Mountain Dew
    February 7th, 2010 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Maybe I’m losing my edge, but I found today’s Family Circus really sweet and touching (and not even ironically so) . . . very vividly reminiscent of my own experience with our strong-willed but sweet 3-year-old. Any other softies out there? Have I completely lost it?

  113. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

  114. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    MW: One could do an extended study of Mary Worth body language. We have almost the full range of poses in today’s strip: the raised right hand of research, the a-ha! pointy finger of realization, the pondering chin caress, the related somber chin-caress of mourning, and finally, the juice-glass grab of determination. All that’s missing, I think, is the double face-palm smack of astonishment (Rays of Alarm sold separately).

  115. Charterstoned
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    MW – In the last panel of today’s installment, Dawn’s computer looks like it has shutters on it. Do you suppose the numbnuts in the Weston household installed them as an upgrade to Windows?

  116. Andy L
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to make a prediction about “9 Chickweed Lane”. I’ll bet that our flashback heroine is going to be tricked into relaying a coded message disguised as a french song.

  117. dreadedcandiru2
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Monday Spoilers:

    ReFoob: Phil channels either Maynard G. Krebs or Norville ‘Shaggy’ Rogers in order to tell Connie that he’ll give her the old ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech after performing another set.

    Funky Winkerbean: Wally looks okay but he’s about one backfire away from having a flashback and freaking out all over Montoni’s. If Khan hadn’t sold the Taliban the weaponry that nailed his buddies back in Kandahar, I’d feel sorry for him.

  118. dreadedcandiru2
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Foob: a rant…..

    We should pay close attention to this week’s strips for a very good reason. That reason is that I suspect all Phil will do is talk like Carol Brady’s idea of a jazz cat and drive Connie back to her hotel room. That doesn’t sound like much but I suspect that Lynn will find it sufficient proof to condemn him of leading Connie on because he’s a cheating cheater who cheats. This, of course, is because we’re dealing with someone who’s as frakking stupid and stubborn as Elly.

  119. dreadedcandiru2
    February 7th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Andy L (#116):

    Your suspicion is shared by a lot of people.

  120. Jonn
    February 7th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    I am remarkably distracted by how well that ref’s outfit fits Blondie. I have the sneaking suspicion Dagwood bought it for her for their intimate moments, and it functions as some sort of strange dominatrix outfit. This does bring to mind the frightening possibilities of what football-themed frolics they’d be performing in their bedroom, a train of thought I am pulling the brakes on right now, before it speeds over a cliff.

  121. Miss Othmar
    February 7th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @dreadedcandiru2 (#119) and @Andy L (#116): I don’t know, I think it’s going to turn out that Herr Slimy is in the German Resistance and it only looks like he’s tricking the stupid girl….

  122. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Jonn (#120): Unnecessary roughness! Holding! Face-mask foul!

    ewwwwww…..

  123. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    in fairness, its Mary Worth that has been featuring Illegal Hands to the Face.

  124. doug rogers
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Would that Mary Worth be any less comprehensible if there were no pictures? Comics is a medium which requires pictures, although storytelling doesn’t always. Hey, Ms Writer! Give Joe Giella something to do!

  125. Zla'od
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: I think we’re going to learn that Martin Clark was defrauded, and possibly murdered, by a guy matching Kurt’s description.

  126. Comcis Fan
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    The role of Toots will be played by Josh Brolin.

  127. Comcis Fan
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    If Radovan Karadzic, as a fugitive charged with war crimes, could work as a new age guru, why not a minion of former Yugoslav President Tito working as a medical receptionist/salon manager? In fact, it’s so mundanely bizarre that it almost rings true.

  128. Moonccattie
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#121):
    N is for Nantes, vich isst so lovely….
    O is for O how Ich liebe Pareee….

    And much later:
    Und Y is for Vy can’t ve go to Nor-man-deee
    ‘Cause zat’s vere ze invasion’s goint to beeee…!

    MW – So this Martin Clark guy died in a plane crash off Florida…and apparently Abby is dead, but we don’t know the details…could she have been…in a plane…with somebody? And the reason Kurt is now hanging around is…ah, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

  129. Red Greenback
    February 7th, 2010 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    RM,M.D.: Rex is looking very Vic Vega-ish in panel 2.

  130. Jamus The Bartender
    February 7th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Little half time entertainment here….
    What Do YOU Think? Today’s Topic: Should Brook stay with the Morganses?
    A few days before Christmas, college dropout , manicurist, professional parasite and June Morgan’s second cousin Brook Bradford broke into the Morgan’s home while they were on vacation, and now she won’t leave. She claims that her parents beat her and booze it up and she has no money. She is also something of a stickeyfingers. She does have her good points, however. She has made an effort to clean up the place, washing dishes, getting down on all fours in her Daisy Dukes, scrubbing floors…..but I digress.
    Now, to add to the mess, she’s got a boyfriend or somesuch from out of town named….wait for it…..
    Toots.
    Let that sink in for a moment. Toots.
    The guy looks like Michael Cera with one of those paste on beards you can get for fifty cents in gumball machines you find at the grocery store.
    Anyhoo, June Morgan wants her out yesterday. No big suprise there, as there’s some familial issues attached to this. Rex, being a nice guy, wants to at least give her a shot at financial independence before kicking her out in the street. To this end, his receptionist knows someone who knows someone who needs a manicurist or something….At any rate, if it were any other guy, I’d think he’d want to try to get Brook into bed, but….hell, this is Rex Morgan we’re talking about here….
    And, finally, with young Sarah as a possible tie breaker, she seems to like Brook….or at least not want to run across her on Rodeo Drive, if you know what I mean. But, let’s ask the people of Comicland USA what THEY think….
    Mary Andrews, homemaker: ” Well, I never in all my days, let me tell you. The way that girl, Brook parades around like she was on display at a whore’s fashion show. Now, I can hardly get my Fred or Archie to do any chores to speak of on the weekends, but BROOK comes over, and asks to get some gutters cleaned, and Fred AND Archie are all over it like flies to Ms. Beasley’s lunch!! I think the sooner she’s on her own, the better.”
    Abby Spencer-Driver, homemaker: “Well, the Morgan place is just down the road from our farm, so when Brook needed help fixing Rex’s lawnmower, Sam was right there with his toolbox. I didn’t even know Sam had ever USED a lawnmower , much less fixed one. Anyway, I know Brook is a problem, but when Sam got home, he couldn’t keep his hands off me, and the SEX, let me tell you, the sex was FANTASTIC !! And, yes, he did call me Brook once or twice, and he was very sorry later, but what can you do? So, me, I hope Brook sticks around for a long, long time !”
    Thel Keane, homemaker: “One day, while Brook was hanging up laundry , in her bikini, three doors away from us, Bil offered to “help” her with anything she might need. Also, I think Billy’s been spying on her at night. His dotted movement lines are all OVER the Morgan’s back yard. ”
    Rose Gumbo, homemaker: ” Okay….my husband likes to have these personal garbage moments…he’ll take out the garbage and stare up at the stars, that’s fine….but ever since Brook moved in across the alley, the garbage moments have been getting more and more frequent, sometimes six times a day ! I don’t think i’ve even seen so much as an empty soda can in the HOUSE since Brook moved in with the Morgans. He doesn’t even go to work. I think he’s watching her undress. Anyway, i’m gonna have Pasquale’s guardian angel keep an eye on Jimbo for any “sinning” , if you know what I mean.”
    Dick Tracy, Old Detective: “Well, the kid broke in , and she’s no longer a minor, so ….hey, she’s gotta do the time. I offered to take her downtown for some…..corporal punishment….as she’s been a bad girl…..VERY bad girl…..bend her over my knee……( looks off into the distance, and drops his drink)…..I’m sorry, what was the question again? The economy?”
    Connie Poirier, Canadian: ” Family is very important, and I think the Morgans should give Brook a chance to make good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to drive to Montreal to give my boyfriend Phil his pipe back”
    Lois Flagston, realtor: “Let me put it this way….Brook lives two blocks away from us, and since she moved in, i’ve found Chip’s dirty bedsheets in the laundry a LOT more often than he used to. He takes a lot of naps, too.”
    Elly Patterson, megalomaniac: “It’s time Brook took responsibility for her mistakes. And then some. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take care of my neighbor’s son who’s leg got broken while MY dumb son was riding bikes with him.”
    WHAT DO YOU THINK?

  131. Peter
    February 7th, 2010 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Forget the ref outfit. When’s Blondie going to break out the cheerleading outfit?

  132. New Orleans in a Box
    February 7th, 2010 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    SAINTS WIN!
    So much for Pastis 4-year-old prediction.

  133. mr 12 oz can
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    hey did any of the saints or colts go to tate college?

  134. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#133): Double majoring in fishing and townies.

  135. Bitter Scribe
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    …his strip attempts to make a guy named “Toots” who has a stripey rugby shirt, a goofy little beard, and a lot of hair gel into some kind of threat against Rex and June’s carefully constructed bourgeois order.

    Yes, but what about the double-pierced ears? (At least, I assume that’s what those circles on his right ear in the last panel are. Unless they’re flesh-colored moles or something.)

  136. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    I was rather disappointed in the commercials, all things considered.

    Game was good, and the Saints were the better story, but man, folks spent $3 million a pop for some of THAT?!? I did get a kick out of the Vizio “memetic mutation” ad. Numa-Numa guy and the dramatic rodent FTW.

  137. Muffaroo
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    Rx – Who’s behind that smiling mask? It’s that hip, hip anarchist, “B”! As in “B for Beat Daddy!” He’d bring down the Houses of Parliament, but that would be too much of a bringdown, man.

    [Filthy Assistant @82 - I guess I couldn't expect I'd be the only one to see that.]

    Blondie – Weird how in the last panel she’s standing at what must be the only angle out of the 360 degrees possible where the stripes on her ample frontage show up as parallel straight lines instead of a bunch of nested parentheses.

    Slylock – The three items that show that Slylock and Max aren’t the first ones into the tomb since it was sealed are what appears to be a cobweb, a small glob of ink that may be purposeful, and the scrawl that is completely indecipherable at that miserable tiny size, for fuck’s sake.

  138. Muffaroo
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Dick – God, where to start?
    “This Stradivarius feels strange…” “…and it’s suddenly small enough to put in my mouth!”
    • Fortunately, it’s larger in the next panel! Thanks, Enzyte, for making my instrument big again!
    • Should I say something about the silhouetted object in the penultimate panel that could be anything from a psychotic baby bird to a celery stalk with X-ray spex?
    • The Stradi-various is small again in the last panel, and its neck has shrunk and turned sideways. I’m with Sgt. Pepper on this: What’s going on?

    Lawyerbob @29 – So does that mean Marvin could end in blood? IhopeIhopeIhope??

    bats :[ @90 – Did I ever tell the story of how, before the “Paul is Dead” thing erupted, my older sisters believed that if you solved the clues in “Magical Mystery Tour” and “Sgt Pepper’s”, you’d know where and when to wait, and the Beatles would show up in a helicopter and take you to a magical island?

  139. Muffaroo
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Joe S @99 – I’ve missed you, man. Nobody else around here has the real lowdown on the Floyd Putternuts and his breadfruit fixation.

    BigTed @109 – No no, “Toots” was Jerry Mouse’s unfaithful girlfriend, seen for the one and only time in the immortal BLUE CAT BLUES, which ends with both Tom and Jerry sitting, despondent, on the tracks, waiting for the 6:10 to blow its lonely whistle as it smashes them into hamburger.

  140. bats :[
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    I am he as you are he as you are me…wait. What? @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#111): my strange friend Chuck did.
    I didn’t.

  141. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#140): well, it is semi-obscure geekery, especially since I don’t think that the movie mentioned it, only the book version.

  142. seismic-2
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    PV: Damn, that’s the scariest-looking humpback anglerfish ever seen in comics, outside of the even bigger one in Margo Magee’s aquarium in A3G, of course. I love it when she tells Tommie, “Clean the fish tank, mule!”

    JP: The ironic thing about Abby’s look of surprise at Sophie’s suggestion that they go to Hollywood is that almost exactly one year ago (i.e., last week, in JP-time) Sam Driver was hired by retiring-Judge Parker to be his literary agent (yeah, right) and sell movie screenplays based on his exciting memoirs of traffic tickets he had fixed, or whatever. Abby was excited about going to Hollywood then; has her enthusiasm been dampened by the prospects of taking Sophie along? Or has she just forgotten about that plot thread, after all the really exciting stuff that has happened in this strip since then, like… er, uh…

    RMMD: So the James-Brolin-with-a-goatee character is “Toots”? From his Bohemian dress, grooming, and demeanor, I take it that he is thus yclept on account of his being a jazz musician, probably a trumpeter. Perhaps he is fleeing a stalker who has pursued him from his most recent gig in Canada. Or perhaps his nickname in his full form is Patootie. In that case, we can expect this story arc to break new ground in the comics, when for the first time in funny-paper history a doctor and a patient administer a prostate exam to each other.

  143. Meander
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    @anon (#3): Oh, my yes – it was worth it.

  144. mollificent
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#67): Discworld FTW!! :D

  145. Muffaroo
    February 7th, 2010 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#139): “the Floyd Putternuts and his breadfruit obsession”? Looks like I could use a little “trip to the circus” myself!

  146. ElkMeadow
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#142): So the James-Brolin-with-a-goatee character is “Toots”? From his Bohemian dress, grooming, and demeanor, I take it that he is thus yclept on account of his being a jazz musician, probably a trumpeter. Perhaps he is fleeing a stalker who has pursued him from his most recent gig in Canada. Or perhaps his nickname in his full form is Patootie

    Or maybe his real friends call him “Salty”. But you can call him “Toots”.

  147. ElkMeadow
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @Fountain Mountain Dew (#112): No, you haven’t lost it. A broken clock is right twice a day. I like FC’s take on it better than FOOB, which had similiar strips thirty years and a couple of months ago. FC was better because the dad actually made the effort to repair the relationship, while at FOOB, Elly just wrung her hands while her children slept.

  148. commodorejohn
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#147): Yeah. I was actually a little unnerved by this, because when the hell was Family Circus ever genuinely touching? But hey, credit where credit is due: this was a nice one, Keanes, and really the closest I’ve ever seen this strip come to what I think it’s actually trying for.

  149. Stev0
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    My guess: Toots is a time traveler. 00′s hairstyle, 90′s facial hair, 80′s earrings, 70′s shirt, and 60′s nickname.

  150. odinthor
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD. — Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to announce that legendary film star Douglas Fairbanks will undertake the role of Toots today in the final panel, while in the penultimate panel, the role of Toots will be played by that luminary—none other than Gene Gene The Dancing Machine in his gutsy and challenging return to show biz!

  151. Sirkus Peanuts
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    I, too, would like to see Marvin bound in the fireplace. Preferably a lit one.

  152. Jason1981
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Now lets see her as one of the UFC octagon girls. Or dressed as the DC comics character Starfire (the adult one, not the cartoon version)

  153. bats :[
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    A few early Monday observations:

    MW: that’s quite a lot of pencils for a gal who does so much Googling. Then again, with that maniacal expression, you probably just jam them into helpless strangers’ eye sockets.

    Mutts: a week of awwwwwwwwwwwwwe ahead! (and I’m okay with that)

    SM: and our “Love Boat”/”Circus of the Stars” bloated anthology continues apace.

    @seismic-2 (#142): you know, given NBC’S track record, it might work!

  154. Aviatrix
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#40): It was like a physical blow to see Toots there. He’s all wrong for Brook. It has to be Cue!

  155. Aaron
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#45): When I first saw your comment, I read it as “Pete Carroll.” Strangely enough, that made total sense to me.

  156. KarMann
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#80): Looks like you’ve got another Blondie panel for your collection today (Monday).

  157. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    From Letters to the Editor in Sunday’s Dallas Morning News:
    “Land sakes, what’s happening to our funny pages? The comics section in the family newspaper has served as the last bastion for preservation of American family values and suitable reading for the kids.

    Now we find a lead character in “Judge Parker” openly shacking up with her new-found boyfriend. What would Mary Worth say?

    Roy H. Kinslow, Dallas”

    The first paragraph sounds fairly Pluggerish, but the second sounds somewhat Curmudgeonish. Is there anyone here who can own up to this?

  158. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    2/8 MT — A threat, eh? “Stay away from this end of the lake,” eh? See, this is why it would be helpful to know how much, if any, of the goddamn lake is actually public. Are you listening, Elrodball? Of course not.

  159. Just some guy
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    It looks like they didn’t even re-draw Dagwood for his head-spinning.
    They just copy-past-ed and colored him with different clothes.

  160. KarMann
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    2/8 Lola: I don’t think this is on a lot of people’s daily lists, so it might be worth pointing out for today in particular, especially to certain amongst us with certain leanings.

  161. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    2/8 Pluggers — Or, you could buy one of those rubber jar-opening thingies and not have to hang around your mailbox. On my rural route, the carrier zips along at a good clip, and has never indicated that she’s available for small household tasks.

  162. Mr. O'Malley
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#161): My mail gets delivered by a woman. I guess equal opportunity employment hasn’t hit Pluggertown yet.

  163. Gold-Digging Nanny
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    MT: Well, that’s NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, Mr. Senator! NOT if the giant man-eating fish we bred has ANYTHING to say ABOUT IT!

    MW: Dear Ms. Clark-Davis, this may come as a shock to you, but I believe you may be my father’s former girlfriend’s other boyfriend’s sister! I was hoping you could answer some questions about your dead brother’s old college flames. For starters, did any of them get preggers while they were in college? I’m thinking specifically of one who liked wearing big dopey hats, and I’m not sure, but she may also have been a shape-shifter. Because if she didn’t, that would make my life a lot easier. Also, do you remember a guy named Wilbur that she went out with, who wore a lot of terrible polo shirts and was clearly headed for Comboverville? Do you happen to know if she broke up with him because of your brother, or because he was a total dork and was so clueless he thought he could impregnate women just by knowing them? One last thing: Could you send me your address? And if I send you a lock of hair that I cut off of someone when he’s sleeping, will you take it to a lab and see if it’s a close enough DNA match to you that you could be, like, an aunt or something? That would be awesome. Thanks! ~~ Dawn Weston

  164. John C Fremont
    February 8th, 2010 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD – What’s up with Toots today? At least yesterday he had that “rugged” Corey Feldman thing going on, but today he looks like a wuss who’d get wedgied by guys named Screech. Sad, really.

  165. Écureuil Écumant
    February 8th, 2010 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @142 seismic-2 said:

    RMMD: So the James-Brolin-with-a-goatee character is “Toots”? From his Bohemian dress, grooming, and demeanor, I take it that he is thus yclept on account of his being a jazz musician, probably a trumpeter

    My guess is that he’s excessively windy, in which case his skateboard makes much more sense than, say, a bicycle. Gotta work with what you’ve got.

  166. Peter Hillock
    February 8th, 2010 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    MW: I suppose it would be too much to hope for to have Dawn’s quest end (as it would in real life) with, “My God! This is all been a colossal waste of time!”

  167. Bryan
    February 8th, 2010 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    La Cucaracha: Way to maintain a loyal fanbase, Alcaraz. Note how he equates Hispanics Latinos Ibero-Indians not liking his pathetic, unfunny turd of a strip with “self hatred.”
    Maybe they just have a sense of humor.
    Check out the barely-legible disclaimer: “Names have been changed to protect the ignorant.” Not liking La Cucaracha equals ignorant, apparently.

  168. Erica
    February 8th, 2010 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Or perhaps Dawn plans to try her own scam, considering how well it’s working for Kurt. Someone should tell her that it helps to target someone with a pulse–though I suppose she can be forgiven for not realizing that, as Wilbur’s pulse struggles to choke through the sandwich-induced damage to his arteries.

  169. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 8th, 2010 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    SFx: yeah, that’s a better plan than getting it back to her during her shift as coat-check girl at the Triple-D.

    9CL: wall o text alert, panel 1.

    SB: not a bad take on the situation, actually.

    Real-World C&H snow men scene.

  170. Lucky
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – …is a dom.

    Lola – If this unsettling mental image is what it takes to make Lola amusing, so be it.

    Mark Trail – “Stay away! Before the giant fish devours us all!”

    Marmaduke – …has finally killed Mr Hitler. Thank you, Marmaduke. To answer Eva’s question, no, they grow in shady laboratories deep in South America.

    One Big Happy – Pluggers would have done that joke in just one panel.

    Pearls Before Swine – I’m not a lion, just so you know.

    Pluggers – Eww, it’s the start of a Plugger porn flick.

  171. Penny
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    2/8 Luann: “Oh, don’t worry about me not looking Puerto Rican. I’ll be in blackface! I’ll probably even try to do an exaggerated Spanish accent! There’s no way this will be strange and/or offensive!”

  172. gleeb
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Candor: Twitter.

    Brenda: See, this is the better attitude. You want to be a “tweeting twerp”, Bell?

    A 3-G: The thrill of the radiator has worn off.

    ‘bean: “Oh, I’m fine. So, why did it take so many months for you to ask, Tubby?”

    Rex: Toots feels the coolness in Brook’s words, and his shirt starts becoming a depressed black. Time to lie on your back and skate outta there, kid.

    Slylock: Sly will keep the double sawbuck and buy himself some boots.

  173. honeypot
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    RMMD
    I think Toots looks more like Marcel from Top Chef than Doug Fairbanks – we’ll see how their personalities match up. I figure this character’s a hairdresser with a coke problem, hence the name and appearance of said “Toots”. I agree with the general consensus here, June forms diamonds out of coal inserted between her ass cheeks.

    On the other hand we readers could have some compassion, too. I mean, June’s really been put in an awkward position here. Either she welcomes in a girl who has already trashed her house and stolen from her – giving her excellent cause for distrust, or she has to face the judgment of people she doesn’t know if she callously tosses a damaged child victim out on the streets to fend for herself – a child with manicure skills that clearly needs June’s brand of merciless compassion. A little whining to a friend isn’t really that much of a stretch before she does the right thing and sets out to mold Brook in her own image. Sara will follow behind her mother and pick up diamonds as June plays the fire to Brook’s mother’s frying pan. Rex will think about inviting Toots on a fishing trip.

    We got enough stuff here to last until November.

  174. ElkMeadow
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#154):

    Definitely Cue. She crashes his crib, and it’s love at second sight. (First sight being “What the $%^ are you doing in my crib. You’re not a golf pro, are you?)

  175. StoutHearted
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    I think it’s sweet that Blondie and Dagwood have graciously allowed Herb into their roleplaying activities.

  176. ElkMeadow
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

  177. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    JP 2/8! Seven sentences in JP today! Seven exclamation points used! Even in the narration box which contains the most pedestrian table setting and least exciting statement imaginable! If you can’t write interesting dialogue, make it just seem exciting! !

  178. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    DT: “Not everyone loves you, and you must die” — weren’t those Mary’s last words to Aldo?

  179. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    MW, Panel 2: “Grr! Argh!”

  180. Mela
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Monday:

    9CL: “Visual medium”? “Show, don’t tell”? Any of this ringing any bells?

    Edge: More with the lazy parents. What happened to the wife’s ridiculous ooga lips from last week?

    ReFOOB: Welcome to the Canadian Jazz Scene, where the late Sixties never ended.

    Luann: Two things – first, hasn’t Luann noticed that every goddamn event in this universe is somehow centered around her and her overwhelming blandness? How every male except for the guy who’s related to her and the guy who has replaced his brain with bong water is inexplicably attracted to her for no discernible reason? Or is she so self-centered that she can’t possibly look outside of herself for ten seconds? Second, this has the potential to be as wince-inducingly offensive as the guy playing Sokka in “The Last Airbender” assuring fans he’s good for the part because “I’ll be getting a tan”. Maybe more so – as someone pointed out, she’ll be putting on a Charro accent.

    Mutts: If any other strip tried to pull this off, they’d fail. But somehow, this one can pull all the Awwws it can.

    Pluggers: … the hell?

    Slylock: You’ll get better heft if you jam a rock in there, too.

  181. TheDiva
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: “Nothing fazes me anymore, except human contact.”

    FW: “I still don’t want to acknowledge your existence, Wally, so let’s hi–er, start you in back.”

    Luann: Yeah, and it’s not like theatrical productions pass out little programs that tell you who’s playing what character…

    MW: Dawn decides to follow Kurt’s example and find some new parents online.

    Pluggers: Opening pickle jars is Plugger foreplay.

  182. Ed Dravecky
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#160): Bwah! Excellent find.

  183. wossname
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    FOOB: My goal for today is to work “This place is no banana” into the conversation as often as possible.

    JP: Why all this attention to the logistics of the luggage? Do I hear the meshing gears of an Unexpected Development just over the horizon?

    MT: Uh oh – the Parker Brothers have angered the Giant Fish Who Lurks. As soon as the GFWL finishes off that frog, he’ll be coming for them.

    MW: Yesterday, there was a pair of scissors in that mug along with all the neatly sharpened No. 2 pencils. Today, it’s gone. Somebody’s fixin’ to do some cutting in the Weston condo.

    Slylock: Now wait a minute. Unless that skater in the distance is flying, or in the midst of committing suicide, the ravine is full of ice. Given that, and the fact that it’s only about 3 feet across, why doesn’t Sly just slip-slide across?

    BrS: Tony Cloutzky – BWAhaha! I couldn’t tell you why I think that’s funny, whereas “Aldo Kelrast” or “Virgil Ohso” is stupid. In the epithet category, Tweeting Twerp is good too.

    @odinthor 150 – are you sure that’s Douglas Fairbanks playing Toots in Panel 2? Looks like Bob Dylan to me.

  184. Muffaroo
    February 8th, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Dennis seems to know what sort of shortening they use in those things.

    Dick – On a hunch, I rotated this strip 180°. The faces, however, don’t turn into new faces. They do, however, look different, and I think different is better.

    Luann – So who’d be better to put in charge of stage props? Gunther would substitute a real gun for the prop gun that Tony/Quill gets shot with, but Knute wouldn’t know about prop knives or guns. I guess it depends on whether Professor No-Eyes is likely to notice how realistic all the death scenes are or not. I’m favoring Gunth, because he’d be dragged away too, right?

    Mark – I think if Moe and Joe were to give Senator Hatcher a quick peek at what they do there all day, he’d be glad to stay away from their end of the lake forever, and possibly have it quarantined by the National Guard and the Parks Service. “You’ve been doin’ it long enough, brother Joe! It be my turn to squeal like a piggy now!”

    Pluggers – “You’re a plugger just for reading this. Now quit trying to sound this caption out. Give your lips a rest and just stick it on the fridge already.”

    @commodorejohn (#148): My feeling on the Family Circus strip was that it reminded me of my own life, which is mildly disquieting. I’ve had more or less that sequence of events, except that neither of us pushes Sarah off on the other to deal with. She turned eight today, by the way.

  185. UncleJeff
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, Leering Parent: OK. I don’t get “Toots” yet. Is he a harmonica player like Toots Thielman, a drug dealer or a guy with audible flatulence?

  186. Howland Al
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Why, Toots appears to be ex-*NSYNC non-heartthrob, Joey Fatone! Sweet background harmonies await…

  187. Carlo
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Luann: Has Greg Evans ever met a Puerto Rican? Then again, all Latinos look alike. No difference between a Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, Dominican or Colombian.

    I’m not easily offended, but this one really upsets me.

  188. Professor Fate
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    FW: “This way we can grind up the the flesh of your victims for our meat sauce… no wait that’s been done.”

  189. Mordock999
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Somewhere with in the VAST Luanniverse, the day AFTER the Superbowl…,

    In a rather DIRTY Havana Jail -

    Elwood – “LEMME OUT!! I’m an AMERICAN Citizen and RICH! You CAN’T do this me!!”

    Sargent Sanchez – “SILENCE little Yankee dog! Your Capitalist ways has NO power here!”

    Elwood – “CLYDE! WHERES Clyde?!?”

    Clyde – “Here, sir.”

    Elwood – “Clyde! What the HELL happened??”

    Clyde – “Well sir, it seems our Pilot and Co-Pilot got “distracted” over Georgia and we OVER-FLEW Florida. The next thing we knew, we were in Cuban airspace surrounded by Migs!”

    Elwood – “@#$! Dammit! They’re FIRED! Where ARE they?” And WHERE are the kids?”

    Clyde – “They have ALL been released.”

    Elwood – “WHAT?!?”

    Clyde – “Well sir, the Cuban Government was going to TRY The Hell-Spawn Disciples of Zeye as terrorists but soon changed their minds.”

    Elwood – “WHAT happened?”

    Clyde – “The kids struck a deal. They agreed to NEVER to invade Cuba again in exchange for their release! The Cuban Government agreed and allowed our pilot and co-pilot to fly them to Florida in time for the Superbowl! I heard the kids did a good job backing up Queen Latifah. Today, the kids are at Disneyland courtesy of the Cuban Government!”

    Elwood – “WAIT,what about US!?”

    Sargent Sanchez – “WE will make you big and strong, little Noisy American! We will make you GUEST on one of Our Collective Farms!”

    Elwood – “Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMMIT!! I MISSED the SUPERBOWL! Sagent Sanchez! I DEMAND to see MY Ambassador!!!”

    Sargent Sanchez – “Your Ambassador? Who DAT, Little Running Dog of Imperilism? WHO DAT??? Haw, Haw, Haw!!!”

    _____________________-

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  190. Hibbleton
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Upcoming moment of truth, Dawn’s meddling will lead to another paternity test issue for Kurt as it looks like he’s the possible heir to the Martin Clark fortune. Does Kurt refuse to take the test and choose Wilbur (who he’s know for what, two weeks?) as his best bud/dad, or take the test, lose Wilbur’s trust forever, and possibly become a multi-millionaire?

  191. Mibbitmaker
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    A3G: Like we already think!

    Cleats: “Oh, btw, can either of you do leaps or windmill-style guitar playing?”

    Cranky: Poor kid is going to be a cynical, beaten-down grumpus for life by the time Ed is through with him.

    DT: Please! Somebody! PLEASE make all the endless extreme close-ups GO AWAY! AAAAAUGHHHH!![/Crow T. Robot-ish]

    ReFOOB: Is she kidding? — Phil’s not even lingual!

    FW: No.

    MT: Elrod: “Sure, nothing new since Saturday, but look how cool the fish clip art I used is!”

  192. commodorejohn
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Archie – Congratulations, ALGJU3K! You came up with a joke that’s something like a human might write, and is actually somewhat amusing, to boot! Keep up the neural pruning!

    BBlue – Worked for me.

    Blondie – I’m not sure we’re supposed to be seeing this.

    Crankshaft – Now, see, most comic strips would use the visuals to emphasize the gag, say by having Ed have accidentally crushed his coffee cup, or at least having spilled it all over the table. Not Batiuk! He recognizes the utter superfluousness of even having visuals involved, and rejects the expectation of the artist to produce “funny pictures.” Perhaps he could Make A Statement, as he is wont to do, by labelling these as comics for the blind.

    Curtis – You know, if Billingsley really has it in for music-industry bigshots so bad, I say he should run with it. Have a storyline where Curtis gets slapped with a $500,000 lawsuit for pirating $30 worth of rap CDs and Michelle has to decide what she thinks about the issue. Or is it just easier to take cheap shots at generic rich people?

    DT – Not Everyone Loves You, And You Must Die is totally filed away in my Potential Album Titles stash.

    GT – Oh, Gil Thorp. Are you sure this is where you want to go? Look at Luann. Do you really want to be more like that?

    HTH – Is it me, or did Hagar The Horrible forget what its joke was between panels one and two?

    H&L – Right. It makes much more sense to work for the disbursal of your hard-earned cash.

    Luann – …so wait. You mean to tell me that instead of leaving the character’s race as an implied attribute and letting the audience’s suspension of disbelief take care of it, Luann is going to be wearing the Hispanic equivalent of blackface? Joy.

    MT – I almost think the pike menacing the frog is supposed to symbolically mirror MoeJoe and the old guy, but I can’t fathom Mark Trail being able to handle such abstract ideas as symbolism.

    MW – Dawn is frightening me. Even though her laptop appears to be a picture frame with a section of newspaper placed inside.

    Momma – Yeah, so are a lot of us. Cry me a river, ya shriveled old prune.

    Monty – Monty gets to do a storyline about a character being high? Man.

    Phantom – I admit that I’m interested to see where this goes in the long run re: Diana being in prison and all that, but for the moment? Glee! This is exactly what I wanted to see from the moment Savarna was first introduced to the strip.

    Popeye – Wow. That was the end of the storyline. Congratulations, Popeye, on having the anti-climaxiest anticlimax that ever anti-climaxed.

    RMMD – A skateboard!? Gasp! The hooligan!

    SM – Oh, please! Remind us how even a (recovering?) alchoholic is a better superhero than Spider-Man!

  193. Comcis Fan
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    What’s wrong with me? I find myself wanting to fix up Wilbur’s Kurt with Rex’s Brooke. Then Dawn and June could get together, all righteous indignation-style, and Wilbur and Rex could save the kids from Toots.

  194. Mibbitmaker
    February 8th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Marm: “We lose more Schikelgrubers that way!” (iris out, Looney Tunes closing theme)

    Marvin ~is~ Li’l Davey Sim!

    Popeye: …with Popeye as George Bailey.

    R=R: Cat’s being shelfish (*rimshot! ducks!*)

    S-M: “No, Web-face, you’re supposed to say it like in the Black Sabbath song… only without the ‘I am…’ part, of course. Idiot.”

    SFx: Return?

  195. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn looks so bored in panel 1 that I can only assume she is taking a break and is reading today’s Judge Parker.

    Bl: Uh, Young and LeBrun? No one out here was shouting, “Just kiss him, Dagwood!”

    HtH: I was going to try to sort out all the ways today’s strip makes no friggin’ sense, but then I remembered that I had snow to shovel.

    A3G: Bobbie needn’t worry; Ari’s diagnostic abilities only extend to figuring out how much rice pudding and ice skating it will take to get her Spanx off.

    MT: Is MoeJoe’s hair growing longer as his evil increases? Because that would be cool. Not as cool as a giant predatory fish leaping out of the water and swallowing them all in one quick but messy bite, but still cool.

  196. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#160): One woman’s nightmare is another’s happy happy sex dream.

    @Muffaroo (#184): Happy birthday to Sarah!

  197. Amateur
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: GAH!! The Internet turned Dawn into a demon!

  198. Calico
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Either that, or Dawn has been playing “Grand Theft Auto” for 30 hours straight.

  199. Calico
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    3G – I like the way the “new” apartment went from “adorable” and “quaint” to “dump.”
    The pills must have worn off, Bobbie! Pester Ari for some more!

  200. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#163): Yeah, I can’t figure out what Dawn hopes to accomplish here, besides the vague goal of messing up her father’s contentment. Maybe she should try this approach:

    My Dear Mme. Clark-Davis: You do not know me, but we have a personal connection and I am in need of your asistance. I am the daughter of an important personage in the news paper industry in my country. I and my father are currantly in posession of a young gentlemen name Kurt. Kurt is clearly of grate value. I would be overjoyed to share Kurt with you if you will only make deposit of 100000$ US in my local bank account. Please be so kind to contact me to offer to me your help.
    Youre humble servant,
    Dawn Weston

  201. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    2/8

    A3G: Oh yes, can’t let the psychiatrist you’re boffing think you’re less than sane. Oh yeah, that ship hasn’t sailed yet.

    9CL: WARNING! Explicit scenes of sunshine being blown up a Mary Sue’s ass ahead!

    RMMD: I know that Brook has her share of problems, but I think she can do better in the man department than Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico.

    DT: Virgil Ohso addresses the complexities of human relations (“not everyone loves you”) and the inevitability of death. For a beanbag chair with shades, he’s pretty deep.

    BB: Nice cover, guys. But when the second panel actually shows Sarge bending Beetle over in the kitchen, dialog balloons become irrelevant.

    HtH: Judging from the tiny bat wings on its ass, I’m setting Dragon Threat Level at 1.

    C-Shaft: So being called on to assist the dispatcher in her dominatrix is one of the few things that do faze Fast Ed. Well, I guess if you haven’t been trained for it…

    SFx: Omnisexual Max is getting pretty comfy with that snowman. Word to the wise, Max. It never ends well when your lover is made of frozen water.

    Ziggy: Does upside-down Ziggy look kind of like a nipple? Or do I just need more calcium in my diet.

    GT: “Screw the cookies, girl. Just show me your cakes.”

  202. GotFuzzy
    February 8th, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#195): Re MT: I love that MoeJoe is rockin’ the Mary Tyler Moore flip-do! Too bad he’s not wearing some kicky capri pants to complete the look.

  203. Dan
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Sweet Jesus, Luann is doing a minstrel show. I take back everything I’ve ever said; please be boring, Luann. Please, please be boring.

  204. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    BB: This might make you feel better about your new task, Beetle. At least, it made me inexpressibly happy. :)

    GT: Ugh…I hear you, Cassie. Sometimes you have to staple the memo to their eyeballs.

    (P.S. Is Cassie crushing out on Steve the Janitor now? Oooh, her parents are going to love that…)

    Lola: Wow, a Lola/PBS crossover…I was not expecting that. Funny, too.

    Luann: Um…first of all, panel 1 is just squicky. Then, the whole blackface thing (or PuertoRicanface, I suppose)…is Evans trying to make some sort of point, being obtuse, or both? Are we going to have another Jonathan-Pryce-in-Miss-Saigon fiasco? (Non-extreme theatre geeks may ignore the last sentence because it will make no sense whatsoever.)

    MT: Jesus Christ…is panel 2 showing a giant fish coming up to devour a floating corpse? What kind of drugs are you on, Elrod? And where can I NOT get some?

    MT, Mark 2: “What we do is NO concern of yours! Even though it is completely legal and need not be investigated or suspected in any way! oh, and STAY AWAY from this end of the lake…this perfectly legitimate and aboveboard end of the lake! Capisce?!?”

    MW: Hmm. Something about Dawn’s face in panel 2 makes me want to shout, “Inconceivable!”

    Retail: LOL! Ohhh, I have had THAT conversation.

    Stone Soup: Well played, Evie!

  205. UncleJeff
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I know this was probably more pertinent last week, but back in the 1960s, there was an arc in the Spider-Man comic books of Spidey vs. the Fantastic 4.
    Spidey had a crush on Sue, Thing hated Spidey for being a smart-ass and Reed tried to get Spidey into the fold of legitimate superheroes but failed because he couldn’t offer Spidey a steady paycheck.
    The arc ended with Spidey leaving Sue a heart made of web fluid. Well, I think it was “web” fluid.
    Well, boy, that Iron Man looks like he has a crick in his neck! Maybe Spidey should get some WD40 or sumthin’.

  206. Thomas B.
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]


    Yes Dawn
    it looks like you found the other information you were searching for on the internet.

  207. Buck Ripsnort
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: The only “Toots” I ever heard of was Toots Shore, restaurateur. Were there ever any others?

    FW: “Yeah, I’M alright. Don’t ask about the guy who honked at me last week. Buried him in a matchbox.”

    LUANN: I’ll allow it, if it involves a crossover w/ Baldo or La Cucaracha, or some Hispanic comic character likely to punch Luann in the face.

  208. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#204): Gah! Potato earworm! (But very clever!)

  209. Fashion Police
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    One wonders what other penalties Mrs. Bumstead’s referee costume empowers her to impose, and to what extent they apply to Mr. Woodley. One also may also speculate on the whereabouts of Mrs. Woodley. Perhaps she was sent to the penalty box for some unspecified infraction?

  210. gnome de blog
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#207): Toots and the Maytals

  211. Stij
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Soooo…Luann will basically be wearing blackface. Class move, Evans.

  212. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#208): I’m thinking of putting it on endless repeat for my car trip today. That way I should be certifiably insane by the time I get to Portland. :)

  213. Ed Dravecky
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    On Sunday, Dawn was infosurfing the blogowebs on a bulky desktop computer with a CRT monitor. Today, it’s a sleek ultra-thin laptop. Tomorrow will it be an iPad or perhaps a voice-commanded Starfleet model (on loan from June Morgan)?

  214. commodorejohn
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#212): Oh, don’t repeat just one song. Throw “My Name Is Potato” into the mix, for variety!

  215. Sed
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, MD – panel 6: V has let himself go since bringing down Norsefire – looks like Doritos prevail.

  216. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#214): What fun! Thanks for sharing. Her voice/singing style really reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, for some reason. :)

  217. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    #204 mollificent

    Luann: Um…first of all, panel 1 is just squicky. Then, the whole blackface thing (or PuertoRicanface, I suppose)…is Evans trying to make some sort of point, being obtuse, or both? Are we going to have another Jonathan-Pryce-in-Miss-Saigon fiasco? (Non-extreme theatre geeks may ignore the last sentence because it will make no sense whatsoever.)

    The Pryce casting was justifiable in that the character was A) half-white and B) a cartoon no matter who was playing him. The justification for Luann deGroot as Maria may be a lack of Latins at the school. This may or may not be true. Since we never see anyone outside of Luann’s social circle, Tiffany, and her pseudoGoth sidekick, it’s impossible to tell.

  218. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Gold-Digging Nanny (#163): BWAHAHA! Your Dawn letter is a masterpiece.

  219. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    #206 Thomas B.,
    The article doesn’t tell you how to get the scars. I guess the simplest way is to find a non-essential window, hit it with an aluminum bat, then with face. Repeat.

  220. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#217): Oh, I agree completely…so that was probably a bad example. (I sort of meant the kerfuffle, not the casting itself, but it was still a bad example.) Jonathan Pryce is a genius, and did a great job in the role. I’m going to shut up now. ;) (I should be packing, anyway!)

  221. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    #207 Buck Ripsnort,
    Well, there’s also Toots Thielemans, possibly the greatest jazz harmonica player ever to come out of Belgium. What, do you challenge that assertion?

  222. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Hey mollificent,
    I was just sort of showing off, not contradicting you. Still, “I should be packing anyway” is a great signoff. Mind if I use it sometime?

  223. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob — Not content with trying to remake Phil into a semi-sleazy womanizer, Lynn wants him to also turn into a nonsense-spouting doofus so he’ll be all ready for the Hosephonium, or whatever the hell it’s called, in ten years or so. I actually checked the Internets, gullible fool that I am, and as far as I could find out, “this place is no banana” is actual jazz slang the way “roadside” is actual teen slang.

  224. AndyL
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    If I was running some sort of illegal operation in “this end of the lake”, and, for some reason I was wracked with guilt and wanted to be caught, I can’t think of a better way to bring the FBI to my doorstop than to locate a US Senator and loudly, and threateningly declare that I was doing nothing wrong, and they they should not investigate my end of the lake.

  225. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#222): And believe me, I am duly impressed! (But you were right, actually…citing a case in which I feel the casting was actually somewhat justified is not the best example with which to express my disgust for the current Luann storyline. ;))

    Feel free to use the signoff anytime! (Still not packing. OK Molly, step AWAY from the laptop…)

  226. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#220): Hey, I remember that kerfuffle! Does this mean I get to call myself sortofa kindofa theater geek?

    Anyway, good luck packing. ChattyGenes is a genius at it, while I’m a disaster. Hope you are more like her:-).

  227. Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy
    February 8th, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Re-FOOB: Every once in a while after scoffing at the foob-coffee-glurg blog on Lynn’s webiste, I’ll go and play their “Mike’s Chess Challenge” game. Needless to say, with Michael being such an asshat, he isn’t very good at chess. I always checkmate him, this morning I did it in a grand total of four moves.

    I sent a suggestion to to the FOOB-team to add more skillful opponents to the game…… a total of ten skill levels, from smartest to dumbest, with Michael staying at his present skill level:

    1) Therese
    2) Ted
    3) April
    4) Warren
    5) Deanna
    6) Michael
    7) Anthony
    8) Farley
    9) Mr. B.
    10) Elizabeth

    Somehow I doubt they’ll go for it…..

  228. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#226): Wooooot! If you can remember an obscure scandal from late 1980s Broadway history, I think you can call yourself a theatre geek (or theater geek if you prefer) with pride. Man, I love this site. ;)

    Oh, and it’s not so much the packing…it’s the doing the dishes, emptying out the fridge, scooping out the litterbox, and ten other things that really should have been done before now, especially since I was hoping to leave by 1pm or so. *grin*

    (LAST POST. Really. Not checking for replies anymore. Gah.)

  229. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#225): In case you haven’t stayed away from the laptop, how do you think Evans will resolve the quandary he’s created for himself with this storyline? Will he avoid showing any scenes that involve more than the six or seven characters he’s created, which would shorten the musical considerably? Will he avoid showing any scenes except Tony/Maria scenes, which would give new meaning to “squick”? Will he pretty much stick to showing Gunther grimly brooding aloud to himself about the awful Luann/Quill casting, as if he were some really, really, really pathetic version of Richard III? Or other?

  230. bats :[
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#207): I actually had two aunts, both with the nickname of Toots. One was actually Stephanie, the other was Minerva. No kidding, and go figure.

    Toots Thielman, the harmonica-player, is the only one that springs to mind for me.

  231. Mibbitmaker
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy (#227): Apparently, Mikey’s about as good a chess player as he is a writer.

  232. seismic-2
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#207): Well, there’s always Toots Sweet, that really annoying French guy who wants everything, you know, immediately.

  233. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#228): I swear I’ll shut up after this, but thank you very much. I remember the kerfuffle was covered in a few magazines, and I was intrigued, which is one reason I made a point of watching a special about MISS SAIGON when it showed up on public TV, and was fascinated. I even spotted Ruthie Henshall in the American Dream number, obviously before she hit the bigtime as Fantine. Huh, I guess I am a theater geek. Anyway, good luck, and I shall hinder your departure no longer:-).

  234. Mibbitmaker
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Well, Howard the Duck called Beverly Switzler “Toots” alot, but I don’t think that counts.

  235. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy (#227): I do like your lineup. Unfortunately for Connie, the way she’s being reconfigured by Lynn this time around might qualify her for Number Eleven.

  236. Saluki
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Monday’s Mary Worth: If, with a little determination, you can find out anything on the Internet why the hell do I still not know what’s going on in Dick Tracy?

  237. giraffe-o
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    In my Sunday paper (the San Francisco Chronicle), Blondie runs vertically, and the final frame was split into two panels. Made for a surrealistically poignant, Truffaut-esque moment…

  238. wossname
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#234): There’s also Toots Shor, famed restaurateur of the 40s and 50s with a sort of Damon Runyon vibe. But I don’t think that counts either.

  239. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Why do I think that Kiesl and Gram wanted to help bring an end to the war faster because the war was such an inconvenience to them personally?

  240. Poteet
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL — So WWII was won because Miss Ernst sang a French art song to the troops. Wow. If that doesn’t show the power of high art, I don’t know what does.

    Time to get back to work. I should be packing anyway.

  241. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Yeah, Lynn seems to be pulling out all the stops to make us hate Phil and Connie with every fiber of our being.

  242. gnome de blog
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy (#227): Forgive me for falling behind in FOOB-related trivia, but who are Ted and Mr. B? And where would Gwandpa Jim land in the chess hierarchy?

  243. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Now, usually i’m pretty cool with Gasoline Alley, warts and all, but I have a hard time getting on board with Skeezik’s crazy about getting the Army to issue him a new uniform. I kinda feel sorry for the second looie middle management army office drone who has to explain to Skeezix why he can’t get his own uniform after sixty odd years. Naturally, he’ll find an army private with glasses who knows how everything goes in the office to get him one.

  244. wossname
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Wait, we’ve been overlooking the most obvious explanation for the name Toots – he’s actually Herb Woodley’s wife Tootsie!

    Time to get back to work. The place is no banana.

  245. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Yeah, a real trouper would go to a tanning booth and dye her hair for the show. I mean, I never did that, but I know people who would. Hell, TIFFANY would have done it.

  246. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#244): That would explain the fakey looking beard.

  247. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Damn, that is just sad. But….aw, hell, i’m just gonna come out and say it. “Did the mailman ring twice?” Hee hee hee…..

  248. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Wow. I was thinking that when Iron Man was gonna show up today, we’d have plenty of snarking fuel for his old drinking habit, but in panel three, he looks…..well, almost coquettish….is that the right word? He’s kinda got this aerial ballet thing going here, arching his back…..damn. Stupid sexy Flanders…

  249. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: Well, there’s a number of ways this could go down…
    1. He could give the twenty to Max and slide him across the ice, hoping he won’t pocket the twenty.
    2. He could pocket the twenty himself, because years of chasing down Cassandra has demonstrated what a sucker he is, jailing and re-jailing her, only to see your humble narrator bail her out, while he works for a pittance…
    3. Or….yeah, the snowball thing.

  250. Thomas B.
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#219): Did you notice the scissors that were in the pencil jar Saturday are gone Monday. I think Dawn is just sharpening them to get ready for her outfits final touch. Evil look, check. Purple outfit, check. Face scars, comin right up.

  251. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    My Cage: Okay, Norm, you don’t wanna go down this path. I know times are tough, but….you’re not out on the street giving handjobs for cash…YET! You’re engaged to a smart hottie, you’ve got a job….so far. This is actually pretty good. It’s okay to be unhappy, but let’s not take it too far, okay? Immerse yourself in wedding plans, but not TOO much. Find something to be thankful for every day. And, for God’s sake, don’t dip your Fritos in mayo. Keep this up, and you’ll be living like Matt Murdock when Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli wrote the title for a year. Yeah, it always comes back to superheroes, but it applies here.

  252. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    FC: And, Billy seems to be starting a political rally of some kind. “Even though i’m stuck in bed with a cold doesn’t mean YOU have to be. Throw off your chains of post nasal drip opression” or something like that.

  253. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#247): That should have read ” Did the POSTMAN ring twice”. Goshdarnit.

  254. Baron Bizarre
    February 8th, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#207): “Toots Mondt” was an old-school wrestling promoter and sometime partner of Vince McMahon the Elder.

  255. Jamus The Bartender
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Oh, hey, speaking of Spider Man…..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5KfHEoZDKI

    This was too funny not to share with the rest of the class.

  256. Comcis Fan
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#204):

    Thanks for the potato choir link!

  257. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    #250 Thomas B,
    Yeah, scissors’ll work too.
    Of course, if you say to Mary Worth “Why so serious?”, be prepared to hear exactly why she’s so serious. In excruciating detail. With a quote from Thomas Merton.

  258. ElkMeadow
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#160): That was great!

  259. UncleJeff
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#242): re FOOB chess: Ted was one of Lizzie’s suitors in college. Mr. B was April’s pet rabbit. Chin-nuts era Gwampa Jim probably would’ve been one of the better chess players but BOXCAR! era Jim would’ve had a hard time defeating a butter tart. No mention of the car world czar (whose name I can’t remember) or John/Rod (who would probably just be drawn sulking in a corner after overturning the board in a huff)

  260. mollificent
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#240): Wooo! I’ve never helped create a new meme before!

    (got almost everything packed/cleaned up, so risked a quick peek at CC. Now just gotta shower/eat/dash.)

    @Comcis Fan (#256): Glad you liked it! Don’t thank me yet…as bourbon babe said, it’s a nasty, nasty earworm. Especially if you try to sing along with the chorus without effing it all up. ;)

  261. donnatron
    February 8th, 2010 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    First General Hospital and now Rex Morgan MD? James Franco will do anything for money.

  262. Comcis Fan
    February 9th, 2010 at 12:56 am [Reply]

Comments are closed for this post.