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An explosion of wackiness!

Dick Tracy, 5/8/06

Um, just in case you were wondering, Dick Tracy is like TOTALLY NUTS now. How much do I love the thinly veiled Osama bin Laden character in panel one, who is wearing what appears to be a blindfold across his nose, presumably so that he doesn’t breathe in the stink of the Great Satan over his enormous cell phone? I love him a lot, that’s how much. A commentor said that they thought that “Al Kinda” (that’s the fellow apparently holding a much smaller and more modern cell phone with his foot in panel two) was an Arab caricature, but I don’t see it; he looks to me more like the reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan. (The thought of a zombie Reagan working for Muslim terrorists is so delightfully bizarre that I shudder just to think of it.) The leftmost guy in panel three may look like an ethnic caricature, but he’s actually recurring character B.O. Plenty; I can provide an explanation neither for his name or his hat, just as I cannot explain the rightmost person in that panel, who I think is supposed to be either a woman or a man in the least convincing drag in the history of cross dressing. Either way, I’m beginning to believe that Dick Tracy demonstrates some of the loopy, deranged majesty as Gil Thorp, though not at the same manic pace.

Meanwhile, in Mary Worth: Don’t turn your back on her, Lou! She’s about to deploy her Power Palm!

82 responses to “An explosion of wackiness!”

  1. Stephen
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    I think it is Reagan, still with the Alzheimers, not knowing how to use a cell phone. What’s next taking down messages with a tree?

  2. Richard Onley
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    If you meant “the rightmost person in the foreground of that panel,” you’re looking at Gravel Gertie–Mrs. B. O. Plenty.

  3. Firegoat
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    What’s up with the fingers of the dude in panel 2? How is he holding that cell phone anyway? Balanced on his knuckles? Or have his fingers been amputated?

  4. Josh
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Richard — No, I meant the person in the background. Despite his/her obvious mannishness, much of last week was taken up by her putting on makeup in what was presumed to be seductive manner.

  5. Doug Puthoff
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    At least “Dick Tracy” is including the War on Terror in its storyline! It’s a helluva lot better than Peter Parker sitting on his hiney whining! I remember an interview with Frank Miller (published in the local paper the same day I bought :”Dark Knight” #1) saying that superheroes were created in the 1930s as a repsonse to the powerlessness people felt during the decade of the Great Depression and the Nazi rise to power.

  6. srah
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    I keep reading the speech bubble in the last DT panel over and over again. Is it just because I’m reading out of context, or does the phrase “completing my target money” not actually make any sense?

  7. Marc
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Kelly’s POWER PALM TM, not only shows “authority,” it also wipes your gothy black paint off of your dining room walls! Call now and get a second POWER PALM TM for FREE!

  8. Tom T.
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    I think that’s supposed to be a satellite phone in the terrorist character’s hand; that’s why it’s so big.

  9. monkeyhawk
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Back when the Kansas City “Star” was a decent newspaper, they took a gutsy stand and dropped “Dick Tracy” shortly after Chet Gould (that’s right, isn’t it?) died. They said his original creation was so unique, nothing good could come from his successors. I seem to remember (Gould’s been dead for a long long time; I’m an old fart) that they cited the creative integrity of Walt Kelly who specified in his will that “Pogo” should not last past his demise and Al Capp who (albeit an asshole), made sure “Li’l Abner” wasn’t turned over to hacks.

    I wish other newspapers would take such a stand (although the “Star,” having been sold several times since then, has dropped the policy) and get rid of “Blondie,” “Family Circus,” “Shoe,” and all the other strips that survive on inertia rather than creativity. As I write this, I guess half the comics page would be changed if a paper adopted an “original” policy for its features.

    Would that, in any case, be a bad thing?

  10. Josh
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    srah, the terrorist cell led by Al Kinda is trying to raise some money for nefarious terrorist activities. B.O. Plenty and his wife have just won the lottery and are carrying huge amounts of cash in those suitcases. The sinister fiends hope that a couple of fools and their money will soon be parted, and seem to be planning some sort of scam to achieve that goal.

    This plotline hinges on the idea that surely the most exciting and easily illustrated aspect of the shadowy terrorist underground is its financing.


  11. The Paradox
    May 8th, 2006 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Long-time reader, first-time poster, blah blah and all that happy horseshit (or harseshit as we say in St. Louis…) Anywho, am I the only one who noticed in this Sunday’s Foob that Deanna’s got a lil’ junk in the trunk?! Girl got it goin’ on! And mark my words, baby Robin will die next year. Lynn Johnston has already said that she will end the strip in 2007 and she previously said after Farley’s death that she would like to end the strip on a similarly dramatic note. All of this illness is probably setting him up for childhood leukemia or something.

    Really, though, the poor kid is better off dead. Giving a male a faggy-ass name like Robin is condemning him to a lifetime of beatdowns and bullying, no way to live life! What is it with Lynn Johnston and names? She names Mike’s friend Weed “Jo” (feminine form!), and she can’t draw baseball hats for shit!

    There, now that that’s out of my system I feel much better…and you heard it here first about widdle Robin!

  12. Diane
    May 8th, 2006 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Sweet Zombie Reagan!!

    Why does it say “MAD” in tiny subliminal letters near his head? Or maybe it says “MAP”, though I don’t know why anyone would bother indicating mapness with a word rather than, you know, drawing a map. Mad Sweet Zombie Reagan it is, then.

  13. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    May 8th, 2006 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Monkeyhawk (#9), I remember Pogo (greatest strip ever) was taken up by someone after Kelly’s death. I don’t know if this was against Kelly’s wishes. It didn’t last for long, maybe a few months to a year. The artwork was just fine, but the writing lacked Kelly’s touch and relied on slapstick hijinks.

  14. Ferd Berfel
    May 8th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Oh Great Leader Of Us All – I guess it was just my skewed perceptions, but over the last few weeks Al Kinda has definitely had a ‘Levant’ look to him. Today he looks like Zombie Reagan (thank you Diane) but all he’s lacked was a fez and hookah in some other panels.

    However, you’ve got to agree that ‘Hassen Ben Soba’ in the 1st panel is straight out of central casting.

    The ugly woman next to the ugly man in panel 3 is Gravel Gertie aka Mrs. B.O. Plenty. She’s also Sparkle Plenty’s mother which makes her Dick Tracy Junior’s mother-in-law. He married Sparkle after his first wife – an alien from the Moon complete with antennas – died in an explosion.

    B.O. started off as a small time crook and stool pigeon Dick would roust for information. IIRC, he strangled some bad guy with his bare hands and thus is considered rehabilitated!

    Gould was off his meds for a really long time.

  15. Julia
    May 8th, 2006 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    remember how all the portraits of napoleon have his hand stuffed oddly into his … military jacket thingy so that the artist wouldn’t have to paint hands and ruin the illusion of reality with some crappy crappy hand painting?

    just sayin’

  16. monkeyhawk
    May 8th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Chet “Wildlife Protector,” you may be correct about “Pogo” post Kelly. It was so long ago, I can’t remember. Maybe it was the Kansas City “Star” that dropped “Pogo” after the original Kelly strips ran out. It’s been too many years, I don’t remember the specifics.

    You know what they say: the first sign of old age is forgetfulness. The second sign is….. uhm…. er…

    This gettin’ older is a bitch. And when your memory goes… forget it.

  17. mooselet
    May 8th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    At first glance I thought those were Viking horns coming out of “Osama’s” helmet, which is of course a turban. Silly me. But Viking helmets are funny.

    And Lou, is your marriage to Kelly so bad that you can’t manage to walk now and again to keep her happy? Wait… don’t answer that.

  18. Howland Owl
    May 8th, 2006 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Pogo is also my favorite strip of all time. When Kelly died in 1973, his widow Selby and some assistants kept the strip going for another year or so, but it was nowhere near as good. Then in the late 1980s or so, a couple of other guys (with Mrs. Kelly’s blessing, apparently) tried again, but it was still a pale imitation of the original.

    Dick Tracy: B.O. Plenty originally smelled like his name, and always had a cloud of flies swarming around him. No one (other than his wife) could get near him, and they’d hold handkerchiefs over their noses when in his presence. He must have learned some personal hygiene habits over the years, since nobody reacts to him that way now.

  19. Anonymous
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    …”the most exciting and easily illustrated aspect of the shadowy terrorist underground is its financing”. No, I say. It is the Al Kinda cell (phone) itself. It’s Zoolander chic. Notice that the arabesque commander is talking into a very old radio phone yet holding his gun like a toy. Are those horns growing out of his turban? He’ll make a nice wall mount over the Plenty’s new fireplace mantel.

    “Mad Sweet Zombie Reagan”… made me spit out my pie.

  20. Uncle Lumpy
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    Ah, Pogo. Those strips by Kelly’s widow were heartbreaking and infuriating – just homages to how good the strip had been.

    Dick Tracy has been nuts, nuts, nuts for nigh on thirty years. But what ever happened to chesty ol’ Sparkle Plenty?

  21. Sarah
    May 9th, 2006 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    In reference to May 9th comix:

    FOOB: Ewww!

    LuAnn: Hello! When were Brad and Toni ever togehter?! In Brad’s dreams?

  22. heynoni
    May 9th, 2006 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    Look, I know this is hardly related to the subject at hand except that it’s about another old-time cartoon character, namely Superman:

    Over here on Australian TV, we’re currently watching the season of “Smallville” that sees Clark Kent finally change from smalltown boy to fully fledged spandex superhero.

    Assuming that this season has already aired a long time ago in the US, can anyone please enlighten me on this point:

    How do the show’s writers manage to justify Clark wearing his underpants on the outside?

  23. Frank Drackman
    May 9th, 2006 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    WOW! Lou got Back!

  24. GotFuzzy
    May 9th, 2006 at 6:16 am [Reply]

    And in the manically paced world of loopy, deranged majesty that is (DT)GT, Mama Rap-Dog brings the pain to Gil today. She may have Heat Miser hair and exactly one outfit (true, she has to keep sewing the Doritos back on), but she can zero right in on anyone’s area of insecurity. She smacked Gil down so good that she made him do a semidemi head bobble.

  25. Happenstance
    May 9th, 2006 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    #22: I don’t watch Smallville, but I’m pretty certain that version of Clark’s never going to put his underwear on the outside. The producers have been pretty outspoken about never putting the characters into spandex.

    (They broke that unofficial rule in their other comic-book show, Birds of Prey, but they also totally screwed that up from the very start so badly that it lived only long enough to scream once or twice in pure agony. The on-again off-again Aquaman-based pilot is supposed to be no-suits-allowed as well.)

    Maybe Superman Returns, a sequel to a campy twenty-six-year-old movie that wasn’t nearly as good as we tend to remember, will explain the overpants. (Singer passed up X-Men 3 for THIS? And gave it to RATNER? There is no God.)

    Sorry. Up up and awaaaaaay off topic. All right officer, I’ll move along.

  26. Julia
    May 9th, 2006 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    dood, look at Deanna’s eyes on FBOFW today- I’ve never seen “oh no, not my grim marital duties again” writ so plainly on a face.

  27. Lassie
    May 9th, 2006 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    And who can blame her, #26, who can blame her?

    After being up all night with a crying infant, looking and feelilng like crap, exhausted – if I were Deanna I would kick her clueless lob of a husband right in the groin.

  28. Tethys
    May 9th, 2006 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    Hey, the Google ads on the left are advertising framed Ronald Reagan tributes!

  29. Zorba the Geek
    May 9th, 2006 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Today’s RMMD: Oooooh, angry lines of fire emmanating from Gretchen’s head. Man, I wish I could do that whenever I got mad. “What do you mean, you won’t give me a refund for this piece of cr@p you sold me? Take that!” Gretchen thinks Troy wouldn’t have shot Harry, and that Harry got scammed. Easy for her to say- it wasn’t her forehead that Troy was holding a gun to. I would imagine that having a gun held to your head would tend to focus the mind on whatever the gun-holder wants.

  30. roydrink
    May 9th, 2006 at 7:40 am [Reply]


    3-G- Margo’s ‘stare of ice’ has rubbed off on Tommie.

    RMMD- “Gretchen” is a fiery babe!

    Phantom- ?! … (I’ve wanted to use that) Panel one, he’s thinking about the women who have married Phantoms, but in panel two, what’s the legacy he brings up? Being Phantom, or marrying Phantom? Kit jr. looks like he could marry a Phantom (wuss), or is Heloise going to marry a Phantom or be The Phantom? !?
    And referring to the children as “these two kids”, seems kind of distant, are they his? Not “my kids” or anything familiar. ?!

    FBOFW- Love that look in her eyes in the last panel… “he wants to do it… again???”

  31. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    GF and Gasoline Alley both have situations involving taking numbers, like at a deli. I dont’ know what humor spin to put on that, though.

  32. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    TDIET (Die between two T’s) is actually a joke that could not have been repeated from the 1960′s. Unfortunately, it is a rip-off (and a bad one) of a recent joke from another strip that wasn’t all that funny to start with.

  33. Treadwell
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    #22: There hasn’t yet been a season of Smallville that has had such a transformation. It kinda looked that way a while back but it didn’t happen. Sounds like you’re seeing last season or the current one.

  34. Justafoob
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Mark my words, the Kelpfroths are the cause of widdle Robin’s problems.

    As for Deanna, she has to submit to a saint. No matter what she has gone through that day, Mike needs a release.

  35. Bigfoot
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Re #3… It looks like Al Kinda’s figured out an excellent party trick. That’s knubby thing isn’t a poorly drawn hand, that’s his foot!

    Here’s how it goes: First he contorts himself to get his foot up to his face like that, then he balances his teeny cell phone on it. Not up to his ear or anything, but that’s part of the trick too. He’s really holding the phone up for his invisible Lilliputian friend who’s sitting on his nose. (Did I mention the Lilliputian had a very large cabbage dinner? But I guess you can tell by the look on Al’s face…)

  36. Concerned Citizen
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Once more a MW character could save the day. Kelly could use her palm ray to subdue the archterrorist with the clever nose disguise. Now that Ronnie has been resurrected, he too has acquired powers such as the ability to levitate cell phones.

    Can the corpulent Kelly keep MSZ Ronnie from getting away? Can he levitate Her Massiveness? Will Lou come to his senses, throw down his turkey leg and bowl of generic imitation food product, and come to her aid? Will they stop the Russian Orthodox priest turned terrorist in time?

  37. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    To all, those aren’t horns coming out of the terrorist’s head. That’s a piece of cloth in the background, which sort of symbolizes horns from his head. I must reject Satan and all his works, therefore this guy can only be Hagar the Horrible’s less amicable cousin, Hukkah the (even more) Horrible.

  38. Justafoob
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Another scenerio for this summer’s FBOFW arc: Liz is going to come home (like usual) and go to work at the garden center (like ususal). Officer Doo(face)-right is going to show up and start making out with Liz behind the mulch. Granthony will show up and attack officer Doo with a titty twister and dutch rub from hell. Liz will be so impressed that Granthony would do something so macho, she will dump everyone else and go off to live in the old homestead with Granthony.

  39. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    MW: Love alone can’t keep the Stirlings together. No, this will involve the gravitational pull of each other’s bodies.

  40. dlauthor
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Somehow I forgot to comment on yesterday’s Pluggers. So I will do it now: AAAAAAAARGH. Now Kleenex boxes are somehow a sign of the latte-sipping bourgeois extended-pinky-finger set? Mother of God.

    OK, on to today:

    Dilbert: Yeesh. Mark me down as officially unsettled. Sometimes Adams’ limited drawing ability (he’s still better than Stantis!) works to his advantage.

    Fuzzy: Deep, indeed. Booger!

    Spidey: Ah, Narna LeMarr. The famous … person … I’ve never heard of before … and whom I don’t care about. Back to Spidey! Foil crimes, dammit!

    Bliss: I like the subtle jab of “that’s in a bar, Mr. President.”

    Mallard: I know that humorous exaggeration is an important tool in comics writing, but tone deafness is not. If anything, the first two “frames” would be more suitable as examples of what cable news does to distract from real stories.

    Heart of the City: Jackson’s been skinny over a year now. Get with the program. I do like the joke about Tim Burton, though.

    Foob: Lynn’s “bedroom eyes” make me feel squirmy. Apparently, Deanna feels the same way. Christ, if this couple has a third hellspawn brat next February, I’m gonna be annoyed. At least Saint Mike called the Kelpfroths morons — that felt like _some_ semblance of reality.

    Prickly: Hey, Stantis! Where were these strips THREE FREAKING YEARS AGO? Hmmm?

    Foxtrot: On board with mocking the Nintendo Wii. I can always count on Amend (my fellow inhabitant of the extended credits for the Lord of the Rings DVDs) to stay abreast of current geekery.

  41. Jives
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Gravel Gertie and B.O. Plenty are eerily prone to coming into large amounts of money. The first time I saw Gertie she had seduced a blinded The Brow with her silken locks of blond hair … causing him to passionately tear his bandages off his eyes, only to see her hideous face and then run out into oncoming traffic.

    In this third panel, B.O. seems to have the nonplussed look of a man who is aware that a flamboyant Oscar Wilde/terrorist agent is out to steal his briefcase full of Lotto money …

    But darnit, this here situation just don’t rank compared to a lifetime of stankin’ with a series of villains each more horribly disfigured than the last.

    Sheeit, next week he’ll be busy trying to kill the hamburger helper hand with three feet of piano wire.

    The “holding a smaller cell phone with his foot” thing filled my sinuses with coffee … which turns out to be a pleasantly unique way of ingestion.

  42. Zorba the Geek
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    #36: “Will they stop the Russian Orthodox priest turned terrorist in time?”
    Okay, Concerned Citizen, that had me spewing my coffee on my monitor. Maybe nobody else will find it hysterical, but, since I’m Eastern Orthodox, I can appreciate the quip- it does indeed look like a Russian priest, and I hadn’t even noticed it. Kudos!

  43. Plumberninja
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    DTGT- Coach got owned!

  44. mere cog in the machine
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    I thought the couple in panel three was the Hays’s – Gabby and Helen.

  45. Gershwin
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I predict that we’re in for al kinda trouble.

    (Anyone else having trouble posting? Mebbe it’s my jokes.)

  46. Pelagius
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Deanna is especially alarmed since Mike decided to start using the Promise Keepers’ method of birth control…

  47. Jives
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    The FBOFW site claims the Pattersons are the “North America’s best loved cartoon family.”

    Can this be so? Does New York still count as North America, ’cause the Patterson’s don’t really rank around here.

  48. Irina
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #38. Justafoob — yup! That storyline occured to me as well; My vision was a little different — I thought that Granthony was gonna haul up to Mibbitmakerwakiki (no offense Mib!) and beat the bejeezus out of that adorable little inuit urchin as the young rapscallion peeks into St. Elizabeth’s bedroom window in hopes of seeing his teacher’s bosoms, or a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.

    Old Tony will rough the kid up, all the time berating him for being a peeping tom (and completely missing the irony), only to glance up himself, to see Dudley DoWright grabbling another doublehandful of Liz’s assets.

    Makes me wonder, in retrospect, what the native denizens of a place called Mibbitmakerwakiki would be like … ;)

  49. Justafoob
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Makes me wonder, in retrospect, what the native denizens of a place called Mibbitmakerwakiki would be like … ;)

    mostly undereducated because they get a bunch of newbie teachers who work for two years then fly back to the Big Smoke to make some big bucks and get tenure.

  50. Pansy
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Once again, I was tricked into checking out the FBOFW website (thanks a lot #47). WHY do I keep doing that?

    It seems there’s a TV series in Canada of this strip. And Episode 12 is titled “Who Was Your Slave Last Year”. The mind reels, doesn’t it?

    Thank god my computer’s speakers are on the blink or I might have been deranged enough to listen to the THEME SONG.

  51. Tommie Gunn
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    At first glance, the guy’s turban in panel one looks like some sort of viking helmet, sporting the antlers of an exotic deer.

  52. David Terrenoire
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    I remember Dick Tracy from the late sixties when Gould ran thisCrimestopper’s Tip:

    Hey kids! Candles, incense and psychedelic posters are a fire hazard!

  53. Bigfoot
    May 9th, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    I just figured out why the Russian Orthodox terrorist/priest has a scarf wrapped around his nose! His phone is also pointed at an invisible Lilliputian perched on his face. Man, what’s up with these flatulent little guys?

  54. JRM
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    #48 — Inuit?? They’re Ojibwe, that is, Indians, not Eskimos.

    I must admit that having worked on an Ojib rez myself once, I’ve found Liz’s storyline there sort of interesting, even if the portrayal of the people is a little unrealistic. Where’s the booze, Lynn? And the poverty? Not to stereotype, but these are pervasive factors in life on the rez.

  55. Lisa
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    #21 – I was wondering that too. Perhaps the years of frustration over this loooooong drawn out storyline have taken their toll on Brad’s sense of reality.

    Goodness knows they’ve taken their toll on mine.

  56. Irina
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    JRM — my bad; no slight intended.

  57. brendan
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Robin’s sick this week , Deana’s cranky, and Mike’s contribution to the family?

  58. Irina
    May 9th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Panel 1 of Wednesday’s FBOFW: Deanna sleeping comfortably in her bed.

    Panel 2: Michael prone on the ground, with little stars rising up from his groin.

  59. brendan
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    #58: Irina, I was in a really bad mood, and then you posted that. thanks, you rock.

  60. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Wednesday’s Comics:

    Mom: Time for bed, Billy.
    Billy: Aw, do I hafta?

    Disheveled Phil: Marm, you’re running too fast!

    Beetle Bailey:
    Sarge is throttling Beetle and about to hit him.
    Beetle: Please don’t do that.
    Smoke, fists, faces, a general brawl
    Beetle: I hate when he does that.

    Impossibly discourteous person behind counter: I don’t like short, fat, bald cartoon guys.

    Wizard of Id:
    King: I can’t get my cell phone to work.
    Wiz: You’re out of your network.
    King: How far out?
    Wiz: 900 years.

    Thor: I’m having a lousy day.
    Peter: That’s because you don’t accept Christ as your saviour and you will burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity. In comparison, today is just a walk in the park. Feel better?

  61. Hogenmogen
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Today’s BC: Hey, wanna know why you’re not selling anything? Did you check your inventory? At least “The Nobody Store” had exactly one piece of merchandise (presumably the fishing pole that Clumsy bought).

    I don’t know if that is Hart just not thinking through things or being too lazy to draw stuff. Sloth or stupidity? You make the call.

    #45 Gershwin, yeah, I’m having a rough time, too.

  62. kostia
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    26/27/30: I didn’t even notice his eyes or hers, because I was so completely flabbergasted by her mouth. Is that her upper lip in some way? Is it a mustache? What IS that?

  63. brendan
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    62: it’s Deanna’s harelip. You can only see it when she gets really upset, like now.

  64. Ketil Flatnose
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: B.O. Plenty? That’s Nietzsche in Disguise

  65. Lyman Returns
    May 9th, 2006 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    #58-Mike’s in the perfect position for that, too. Behind her and just a bit to her right. All she has to do is slam her fist backwards and he’s singing soprano.

  66. Brent
    May 9th, 2006 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    #54: Migti-whatever it is could have voted itself a dry town, which does happen. Actually I’m surprised that Liz ever got the job there in the first place. My brother’s ex-wife used to work as a teacher up in Northern Saskatchewan, and according to her more and more bands were restricting their hiring to native teachers exclusively.

  67. Sh-Sh-Shannnnon
    May 9th, 2006 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    … having … trouble … posting … this …. is …. hard. Hit … button on the …. right … nothing happens … (muffled sob).

  68. Sh-Sh-Shannnnon
    May 9th, 2006 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    darn! It worked that time. What’s up with that?

  69. The Paradox
    May 9th, 2006 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    The FBOFW site claims the Pattersons are the “North America’s best loved cartoon family.”

    Oh yeah? Well, Mexico is a part of North America, Lynn Johnston, and I doubt that any Mexicans care about the quotidian lives of a bunch of hosers!

  70. Smokey Stover
    May 9th, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Funny, today’s Red Rover and today’s Peanuts were pretty much the same joke, but the Peanuts was written DECADES AGO.

  71. Ferd Berfel
    May 9th, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    #66/Brent – Dry schmy. I used to visit some power plants at a little town in Montana called ‘Colstrip’. It was right next door to a Northern Cheyenne rez which had gone ‘dry’. Naturally, there were bars and liquor stores right over the ‘border’ on every road entering the rez and, just as naturally, there was a thriving bootlegging/smuggling trade going on.

    During one visit I was reading the local newspaper during lunch and came across a small story buried bleow the fold on page 5. (Seeing as the paper averaged about a dozen pages in total, page 5 was ‘deep’.) It seemed a trio of rez dwellers got a skinful in one of the ‘border’ bars, stumbled out into the road, and laid down on the blacktop to warm up. A fully loaded coal truck then ran them over.

    When I expressed my horror at the story and wondered why it wasn’t on Page 1, a plant worker from the rez with the surname of ‘Limberhand’ – about half the workers were off the rez and ‘Limberhand was a common surname – looked at the article and told me; Aw hell, that’s nothing important. We lose about a half dozen drunks a year that way.

    If Lynn were truly interested in presenting the actual story of Migiwiggychittychittybangbang she would have had Lizardbreath’s bus hit a couple human speed bumps by now and Ossifer Doo-Right would be shown regularly removing an industrial sized spatula and extra large hefty bag from the trunk of his RCMPimp-mobile.

  72. GotFuzzy
    May 9th, 2006 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    #58 Irina, thanks for the HUGE laugh. The only thing that would complete the scenario is to have widdle Mewwie come along and put a sticker on Mike’s aching groinal area.

  73. Howland Owl
    May 9th, 2006 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Inappropriate Comic Sound Effect of the Week:


    Dick Tracy has always had surreal elements to it, but they used to take themselves more seriously — it’s got a self-conscious weird campiness now that I kind of like.

  74. Vince M.
    May 9th, 2006 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    40: re. Pluggers – I haven’t seen it but I suspect shirtsleeves are involved…

  75. Moss_Moses
    May 9th, 2006 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Robin dies – of bird flu. Even though he’s sick, he does look saintly. Robin dying is not a likely scenario – more likely something treakly and sappy like Granthony and Lizardbreath hooking up.

    “His fever is down but he’s still in pain”. How would Deanna know this? Robin is too young to talk and he’s asleep. That must be mother’s intuition. A bowl of ice cream and a full regiment of antibiotics are indicated at this point in his illness.

  76. treedweller
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    #51 I agree. I had to look at it 3 or 4 times to see that it WASN’T a viking. Now that would be a conspiracy: Thor attacks from the North while osama comes from the east and al kinda/reagan hits the west coast while everyone’s distracted. Take that, capitalist pigs!

  77. Mister Nobody
    May 9th, 2006 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    75: It’s apparent you’re not a parent.

    Believe me — when your baby is in pain, you know it.

  78. Non-Shannon
    May 9th, 2006 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Re: #64

    Why, you’re right! He does have the right

  79. AwfulArt
    May 9th, 2006 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    “Housebroken” bashes Bush referencing upcoming flicks.. The administration is sinking; Poseidon.. Info from untrustworthy sources: The Da Vinci Code.. A well deserved bash..

  80. Sili
    May 10th, 2006 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe it. Seventy-nine posts and nobody has linked to Shortpacked. We all know that zombie Reagan is already walking the earth. After all, everything from the eighties is coming back in vogue.

  81. Mibbitmaker
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    #48: No offense at all; that was really funny. Well, since the first half of my username is based on cartoon character types I created, I have a pretty good idea what residents of Mibbitmakerwakiki look like!

    Btw, the real name of the FOOB town is Mtigveeblefetzer. (Now I have to appologize to the late Harvey Kurtzman!)

  82. Mibbitmaker
    May 10th, 2006 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    I noticed the Reagan resemblance in DT, too. Which is odd, since Locher’s a conservative political cartoonist who had little bad to say about RR.

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