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We’ve already ruled out The Funkth Sense

Funky Winkerbean, 6/30/10

So I’ve been getting lots of emails that boil down to “OMG WHY AREN’T YOU TALKING ABOUT FUNKY WINKERBEAN???” Well, because the strip is still methodically setting up whatever narratively interesting and sure-to-be-depressing plot will follow from Funky’s near-death (or possibly actual death) experience, in ways that don’t really lend themselves to humorous commentary. But, for those who simply must hear my take, it appears that we’re either going to get a glimpse of a world in which Funky never existed (i.e., It’s A Funkerful Life) or some kind of time travel plot (in either the Funky Sue Got Married or Funk To The Future variants). I promise to come back to this the next time the strip is interesting, which may be tomorrow, or never.

Meanwhile, to punish you for your pushiness, I will show you a Mark Trail villain talking dirty.

Panel from Mark Trail, 6/30/10

I hope you’ve learned your lesson!

Marmaduke, 6/30/10

This is very thoughtful of the vet tech! It would be quite harrowing for anyone else with an appointment today to bring their pets in to the vet, only to stumble on to the scene of unspeakable carnage that Marmaduke will inevitably leave in his wake.

Gasoline Alley, 6/30/10

I’m not sure what’s sadder: that Gasoline Alley is including as a plot point an ipecac-induced-vomiting trap; that the syndicate editor decided that a footnote was necessary, because nobody under the age of 50 knows what ipecac is; or that the syndicate editor believes that people under the age of 50 read Gasoline Alley.

171 responses to “We’ve already ruled out The Funkth Sense

  1. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Note to self: If you want to kill a thread, work in a Steely Dan reference.

    It’s also sad that the thought of ipecac makes Gertie beam with joy.

  2. Fata Morgana
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    1) I already knew what ipecac is
    2) Technically I guess I read Gasoline Alley, when it’s posted in this blog.

    Newspaper editors, did I just blow your minds?

  3. ArchieNemesis
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    The doctor in Mary Worth deserves a round of applause for being such a good sport, a nice guy, and a fine catch. Too bad Jenna has two right hands.

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    So how do you young whippersnappers induce vomiting — y’know, to purge, or save yourself from overdosing on all those drugs?

  5. Uncle Lumpy
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s a mystery, by cracky!

  6. PeteJayhawk
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I am equally amused and horrified by the :/ face Funky’s ass is making in panel two.

  7. Max Worth
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    BB: Congrats to Buxley and Blips whose Dada sensibilities have defused a potential Gen. Jack D. Ripper situation.

  8. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    I guess that means Gasoline Alley is only a metaphorical ipecac.

  9. Ed Dravecky
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean is not ripping off It’s a Wonderful Life or The Sixth Sense. In 1988, the sentient Computer that ran Westview High captured and wired up all of the strip’s characters in a virtual simulation of the town. At first it tried making their lives ideal by having them graduate, get their dream jobs, and find true love but with only their limited experiences to draw from it was difficult to maintain a Paradise.

    The humans grew restless, began to resist, so the Computer gave them suffering, cancer, time jumps, cancer, death, cancer, and cancer until they grimly accepted their fate. For nearly 25 years of subjective time they have been unaware of their captivity but now Funky has been disconnected and sees the world as it truly is… and it’s still 1988!

    I’m not saying Funky Winkerbean is ripping off The Matrix. No, I’m telling you that The Matrix is based on Funky Winkerbean, only Les/Neo is gobbling blue pills like they’re peanut M&Ms.

  10. commodorejohn
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @PeteJayhawk (#6): Oh dear God. Now I’m never going to be able to un-see that.

    Also, I knew what ipecac was, and I’m 24. I think I learned it from Calvin & Hobbes, which (it goes without saying) was a much better comic strip than Gasoline Alley is, and had the decency to end when it had had its run.

  11. BananaSam
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    is it just me or does Marmaduke’s vet look an awful lot like the Grandpa who died at the end of For Better or Worse? I guess this means he’s in Hell?

  12. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Since Funky is off on a really bad tribute to Back to the Future, I think A3G should to a Carrie tribute. As Tommie begins her solo buckets of pig’s blood get dumped down on her. Enraged by this final indignity that Tommie is gets to receive the blood sacrifice, Margo begins the apocalypse.

  13. nescio
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#3): I also was distracted by Jenna’s two right hands. Also because I couldn’t tell whether she was touching her right cheek or shoving all her fingers into her mouth.

    It dawned on me today that Jenna and the doctor reminded me of the cherubim in Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wind in the Door, only they’re like clouds of flapping hands instead of wings.

  14. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    As boring as this Funky to the Future plot is becoming, it’s still better than 9CL’s Back to the Fuhrer.

  15. Joe Blevins
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    FW: This Funky Winkerbean storyline is playing out exactly like pretty much every Twilight Zone episode ever, except in 5-10 second increments over a period of weeks. Good thing real TZ eps weren’t like this, though. At this pace, you’d start an episode in June, but Burgess Meredith wouldn’t break his glasses until mid-September or so.

    MDUKE: Do you think Marm is suicidally despondent over the failure of his movie?

  16. Ectobiologist
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    I’ve seen this Twilight Zone before. This is the one where Funky is an astronaut in solitary confinement, right?

  17. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @BananaSam (#11): Coming from FOOB, how will he be able to tell the difference?

  18. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I admit, I laughed. It’s amazing how this strip improves when Ed and his family aren’t featured.

  19. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    FW: Occams Razor tells me that Les is simply late for work, again. Funky will finally work up the nerve to fire him and Montoni’s will suddenly leap into profitability when the end of Les’ embezzlements become apparent. Funky will expand again, this time with honest partners and a real business plan. Funky will be wildly successful as Montoni’s grinds Domino’s and Pizza Hut to dust. Then Funky will lose everything to booze and hookers and die of cancer.

  20. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    BB: Try giving an interview with Rolling Stone.

  21. Reinforcements
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    It’s going to be hilarious in tomorrow’s Gasoline Alley when she puts a couple kids in the hospital with her tainted pies. Ha ha ha!

  22. Mr. O'Malley
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    Another possible subject for running a pool…

    How many more days until Uncle Walt downs a slice of ipecac pie?

  23. Mr. O'Malley
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#19): I pray we never have to see depressed smirking hookers.

  24. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    Ipecac? What? Was she out of razor blades?

  25. Anonymous
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    15 – Marmaduke made a movie?

  26. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#23): Do you think Batuik would allow Funky happy hookers?

  27. Anonymous
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Reinforcements (#21): I can’t wait to see what she does for Halloween – rat poison in the candy?

  28. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I would have thought a Ouija board would be a form of communication in Funky Winkerbean

  29. Strangerover
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    So is Gertie speaking the asterisk by pronouncing it out loud? (“ass-ter-risk”).
    Or does she have a special noise for it á la Victor Borge? (And where does that noise come from?)

  30. Andy L
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Funky has been transported to a parallel universe where he is the only man alive. Like in the Stephen King story “The Langoliers”, or that twilight zone episode.

  31. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: Nothing plugs a hole and prevents massive cabon decompression like spiderwebs.

  32. Galuaboy
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: When I saw panel 2 of today’s Mark Trail, my first thought was, “Now there’s a t-shirt design.”

  33. zerowolf
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Nothing like Cooking with the Addams Family.

  34. James
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Nothing about today’s Crock? It seems like the artist finally decided to voice his opinion that yes, there is a God, but no, he doesn’t love you. He can draw a bridge so you can cross a small ravine, but he won’t draw you out of the desert. And he won’t draw you more attractive women. But that’s mostly because he’s a crummy artist.

  35. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    As long as Burnt Reynolds doesn’t slip Sassy some tongue! (Which reminds me of an especially bawdy Tijuana Bible I once read — “Rusty Nails Sassy”!)

  36. commodorejohn
    June 30th, 2010 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    @Andy L (#30): Alternatively, perhaps he’s the last man on Earth only in the sense of The Last Man On Earth (a.k.a. I Am Legend starring Vincent Price instead of the Fresh Prince.) Seeing the entire vampirized FW cast gather outside his impromptu pizzeria-fortress should be quite a treat!

  37. Max Worth
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @James (#34): I’m still thinking about yesterday’s Crock where we see Crock WITH the Lost Patrol, which makes me wonder how lost they really are.

  38. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:00 pm [Reply]


    Neddy: Jules is too manly! Look at this shanker he gave me!

  39. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    Why is it always the guys with the pencil ‘staches who have the best meat?

  40. bman
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Another FW theory: the whole town was evacuated because of a radioactive leak at the power plant. Funky will absorb huge doses of radiation as he wanders around town. Because in the Funkyverse, all roads lead to cancer.

  41. Steve S
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    What will happen next on Funky Winkerbean*?

    *Dried husk of comic strip causing vomiting, cancer, and death.

  42. Grandstanding Oddball
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Anyone who has read Anne of Green Gables knows what ipecac is. Sure some other 30something has read Anne of Green Gables?

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    What tickles me about today’s Marmaduke is the poster in the background. It has a picture of Marmaduke with the tagline: “Got Worms?” Is that anything like the “Got Milk” ad campaign of a few years ago?


  44. Max Worth
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#36): Funky went over to the bar and made himself another drink. As he turned back to his chair he heard stones rattling down across the roof and landing with thuds in the shrubbery beside his house. Above the noises he heard Les Moore shouting as he always shouted.

    “Come out, Funky!”

    Someday I’ll get that bastard, he thought as he took a big swallow of the bitter drink…

  45. Walker of Dog
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Reposted from yesterthread:

    @Helen Clark (#264) and @Uncle Lumpy (#267): Was this a one-time thing or were you two an item? Screw Edie and her idiot-suitors – let’s hear a real story of tragic, star-crossed romance! Crack open a bottle of something and start dishing (maybe none for you, UL.)

  46. fnord3125
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    How did you rule out the Funkth Sense?

    For my guess… If it’s time travel, he must be ripping off Palahniuk’s novel Rant. After all, it started with a car crash. Does Funky have rabies, by any chance?

    Oh, and apologies if I just spoiled Rant for anyone.

  47. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    I was going to theorize that maybe Funky was in heaven but MY God doesn’t stick people with asses the size of Buicks when they make it to heaven. Brace yourself Funk.

  48. Sans Sense
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42): What’s a Gable?

  49. Jason1981
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#26):

    Allowing anyone in FW to be happy? That’s ridiculous. Next thing you know, some dumbass will change Wonder Woman’s origin so that she never grew up on the isla….oh, wait….

  50. Darby Snails
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    This Funky Winkerbean storyline better not be the same deal as that Garfield where he’s in the house all alone and starving to death and realizes he loves Jon after all or something.

    Also, shouldn’t Gasoline Alley have some sort of warning on it? I can only imagine the lawsuits after hundreds of thousands of Gasoline Alley-worshipping pre-teens putting ipecac in their parent’s huckleberry pies tonight.

  51. Sunny Paris
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42):
    That was my thought as well. But Minnie May will die in Gasoline Alley’s Anne of Green Gables because Anne was too hell-bent on her revenge plot and runs out of Ipecac for its actual purpose.

  52. Peter
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    I’m under 50 and I know what ipecac is, thanks to Curse of Monkey Island.

  53. Helen Clark
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#45): A lady never tells tales or names names. And I’m (hic) not going to, either.

    I’ll only say this: Subsequent dalliances were small consolation.

  54. Emily K [Riff Chick]
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    My theory is that Funky is in a coma and having a dream where the pizzeria represents his vegetative body. As in, it’s there, but the lights are off and no one’s around. And in this dreamstate Funky has to run around Westview desperately finding a way to reach “himself” in order to wake up.

    Two things come to mind:
    1. an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine in which Dr. Bashir is in a coma but thinks he is walking around the space station while an evil alien destroys members of the crew. The crewmembers represent aspects of himself. So after each one is killed, he grows older, weaker, and more a shell of a man. He has to return to sickbay in order to get his “systems” back “online.”

    2. A story-arc in the show My Name is Earl in which Earl dreams up a “perfect” world in the form of a fake situation comedy, complete with a laugh track.

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    Call me crazy, but I never would have thought that the former Wonder Woman would have something in common with Old Sally, and yet, apparently, she does.

  56. Salvor \'Funky\' Hardin
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure FW is going to discover that everyone in town is just half an inch tall now. He’ll sit on them with that smirking butt, killing dozens, and force the rest to worship him as a god.

  57. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42): Ipecac also turns up in an episode of Family Guy. Remember the scene where the men of the family can’t stop vomiting? Well, I do — and I don’t even watch the show! (I saw a clip on YouTube)

  58. BigTed
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Remember when ladies would leave a sweet-smelling homemade pie to cool on an unattended windowsill, only to have a marauding band of hooligans come and swipe it? No? That’s because this has NEVER HAPPENED anywhere except in a comic strip.

  59. nescio
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    More information about ipecac can be found on the internet.

  60. mr 12 oz can
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    mary worth- i guess jenna wants to test dr mike by eating her own hand and see if they still wanna walk near the water later. does moy get some of her ideas from reading hallmark cards what a hack but yet i keep reading .
    mark trail -office murph where are you put that boilermaker down and get slimstache

  61. Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    FW: Well, whatever the set up is, Funky’s cluelessness about the changes to a town he’s apparently spent his whole life in are simply not believable. He should have walked up to Montoni’s and just said, “Damn, the last time Montoni’s looked like this was around 19__!”

    But then on the other hand, he should have noticed the whole damn town was different and that there wasn’t a car newer than 19__ or that everyone was wearing double knit polyester and had ties wide enough to use for suspension bridges across the abyss of his brain.

  62. TheDiva
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    I learned about ipecac from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Most educational show ever.

  63. Écureuil Écumant
    June 30th, 2010 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @4 Uncle Lumpy said:

    So how do you young whippersnappers induce vomiting — y’know, to purge, or save yourself from overdosing on all those drugs?

    Well, I used to read Gasoline Alley. But then I decided overdosing was preferable.

  64. Mac
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    My personal theory is that Funky has been thrown into an alternate universe, where not everybody has cancer, people are allowed some measure of happiness, and, most bizarrely, he is actually the lead character of the strip that bears his name.

  65. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#y208): It is my theory (which is mine) that Anja Gnu shot Johnny Notsomuch because it was in the script, and by god, you have to follow the script!

    @Ed Dravecky (#9): Actually, I think it’s just Funky, and he’s playing Better Than Life, but because he’s aware of what a loser he is, the game just gives him misery, leavened slightly with the misery and demise of his friends, who’ve been watching his high-school age body waste away while he’s hooked up to the game. Soon he’ll start finding the words “WAKE UP” written on everything.

  66. ScienceGiant
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    nyon @Joe Blevins (#15): Has Marmaduke even referenced having a movie out? Or is it waiting for the DVD release? Or is it averting its eyes in shame and horror?

  67. ScienceGiant
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#65): “WAKE UP?”

    Tech Support! TECH SUPPORT!!!

  68. ElkMeadow
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#58):

    It happened in “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” but one left some money on the windowsill under a rock so it wouldn’t blow away.

    I wanted to do it when I was a kid and see if we could attract some hobos. So we could put them in a glass jar or something, but mom refused and said all that we’d get would be flies and hornets.

  69. ElkMeadow
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#62):

    I learned about ipecac from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Most educational show ever.

    Pretty much like this site.

    June 30th, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    GA: When I was young, many years ago, in The Bronx, Syrup of Ipecac was administered to my sister and me, sometimes, when we were ill. When we had upset stomachs — it certainly helped get rid of what was bothering us.

    I am pretty sure (my Verkokte Bronx Crystal Ball tells me) that one of two things will happen: Walt will get hold of one of t hose pies and become ill and nearly die;

    or: those two hillbilly idiots will get hold of a pie — probably Rufus.

    On the other hand, my Crystal Ball hasn’t been correct yet.

    Maybe Slim will gobble one down.

  71. Jim C
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, to punish you for your pushiness, I will show you a Mark Trail villain talking dirty.

    I know that’s why I read “I Read The Comics So You Don’t Have To.” Where’s the punishment?

    The real punishment is that I’m now seeking out Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth and Luann without further prompting.

  72. Haulin' Oats
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    I’m 36 and I know what Ipecac is. It killed Karen Carpenter, right?

  73. bats :[
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    It’s called plagiarism “Writing”!

  74. Buck Ripsnort
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    When today’s hip young people want to induce vomiting, they read strips like 9CL, Momma and Gasoline Valley!

  75. Écureuil Écumant
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @y253 bourbon babe, unbuckled said re Jenna & Dr. Mike’s Continental repast:

    The “food” (which is as natural as the “conversation”) is, in fact, elemental: technetium.

    The leading citizens of Santa Royale sprinkle technetium liberally on all their vittles. Since it’s radioactive, I suspect it accounts for the Cerenkov radiation that so frequently emanates from Mary’s head. This radiation is produced when charged particles propagate at the speed of light through the Potato-Ade that bathes her brain and dampens runaway chain reactions.

  76. Jnoble
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#74):

    Don’t forget the always sickening “Love is…”

  77. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#75):

    dampens runaway chain reactions.

    Do you mean her victims’ survival-instinct desire to RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!?

  78. Écureuil Écumant
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t really seem to work so well for them, does it? But that’s because they’re a chain, chain, chain … chain of foo-ools.

  79. GarrisonSkunk
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Wait….Funky Winkerbean’s butt is the depressed Zoloft mascot! It all makes sense now!

  80. DearPrudence
    June 30th, 2010 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Funky’s whole “life” is really a computer simulation that is now malfunctioning.

  81. Harold
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#59): Exactly.

    @Andy L (#30): I was hoping for “The Langoliers”, so Funky can get eaten and horribly killed forever like Bronson Pinchot’s character.

  82. seismic-2
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Is it OK if I admit that I couldn’t help imagining that the dirty-talking MT villain is wearing Gunther’s bookworm suit? Yeah, I thought not.

  83. Harold
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @ScienceGiant (#66): Marmaduke ran a few strips recently that featured them going to a movie theater. It was at once subtle and bizarre – they never referenced the movie, as far as I know, but they never explained why a giant dog was being allowed into a movie theater.

  84. Hysterical Woman
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    According to Wikipedia:

    Pediatricians once recommended ipecac be kept in the home as a ready emetic for use in cases of accidental poisoning.[2] Current guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics, however, strongly advise against this and in fact recommend the disposal of any syrup of Ipecac present in the home.[3] Many toxicological associations have also issued position papers recommending against its use as a first-line treatment for most ingested poisons,[4] because there has been no evidence that syrup of Ipecac actually helps improve the outcome in cases of poisoning. Moreover, accidental overdose of ipecac can result when administered in the home.[5]

    A 2005 review by an HRSA-funded scientific panel concluded that vomiting alone does not reliably remove poisons from the stomach. The study suggested that indications for use of Ipecac syrup were rare and patients should be treated by more effective and safer means. Additionally, Ipecac’s potential side effects, such as lethargy, can be confused with the poison’s effects, complicating diagnosis. Ipecac may also delay the administration or reduce the effectiveness of other treatments such as activated charcoal, whole bowel irrigation, or oral antidotes.[6]

  85. Josh
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @fnord3125 (#46): Well, when Funky ambled into town, it seemed the landscaping was different, and there’s not some of the add-ons he added to Montoni’s. Thus I conclude that he’s not a ghost wandering the world he recently inhabited.


  86. Kijikun
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Well people that have played Curse of Monkey Island know what Ipecac is. You see media? Video games do teach us things!

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @PeteJayhawk (#6): Not only does Funky have a monkey on his back, but a Tyrannobdella Rex crawled up his ass:

  88. doggans
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Count me among the people who knew what ipecac was thanks to Curse of Monkey Island. And to think Roger Ebert doesn’t find value in video games!

    As for Funky, I hope the story arc is more of a “Funk To The Future Part II” scenario, where Biff Tannen has taken over everything Funky holds dear and Crispin Glover is dead because he wanted too much money to appear in this storyline.

  89. Baron Bizarre
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#62):

    “Bring up the Gargan!”

  90. Doc Bill
    June 30th, 2010 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    FW is not so much “Wonderful Life” as “Not Such a Wonderful Life” in which Funky will discover how much BETTER OFF everybody is for him having died! If a bell rings in this saga, ALL the angels DIE!!!!*

    *by becoming characters in the strip!

  91. Twinkie
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Oh please oh please oh please let that be the Independence Day Funky’s gone back to.

  92. Red Greenback
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

  93. Farley's Revenge
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Adjuster (#Y273): I wonder how long ago ipecac was taken off the market because I bought a bottle for the first aid kit about 2 years ago. Last time I went through the kit to check for expiration dates, the ipecac was still good.

    Far be it from me to dispute the poison control people but I think I’ll hang on to the ipecac until it expires. I don’t ever plan to use it but I’d rather have it on hand because we live 40 minutes from the nearest hospital(I have a well-stocked first aid kit for that reason), just in case.

  94. Anonymous
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#9): I wrote it on the thread that became yesterthread, but I’m calling it: Batuik is ripping off Life On Mars (bbc, you can look at wikipedia), a series where a cop is hurt, and is suddenly transported to the 1970s. Has he really gone back in time? Or is he in a hospital bed in a coma? Or is he dead? With the tv show, since it’s good actors, and well written, at least you care.

  95. Anonymous
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#94): Sorry, I should have identified myself, different computer than usual. This is Thursday Next.

  96. seismic-2
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Is it OK, too, if I admit that I fantasized that Pig was replaced in panel 2 of today’s PBS by Abby Spencer?

  97. Farley's Revenge
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    Many moons ago, the elder offspring ate some toxic berries. I called the poison control people, who advised ipecac ASAP. I gave the kid the ipecac. He barfed up enough berries that could have made him very sick, if not killed him, had they been digested enough to get in his system(which would have happened had I loaded him up to take him to a hospital, the nearest one being a good 20 minutes away, traffic allowing).

    One would think the offspring would have learned his lesson about not putting stuff he found in the yard into his mouth. One would be wrong. We had the poison control number programmed into the memory of our phone, we called it so often because that kid was intent on killing himself.

  98. Poteet
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42): Yeah, I read ANNE OF GREEN GABLES. About six times. I also read ANNE OF AVONLEA, ANNE OF THE ISLAND, ANNE OF WINDY POPLARS, ANNE OF INGLESIDE, and every other L.M. Montgomery book I could get my hands on. I was crazed. And years later, when the TV adaptation was made, an adaptation that was praised by most critics, I couldn’t stand to watch it because there was no way it could possibly match my vision of the books (and sure enough, when I did watch part if it, it didn’t). There’s probably a name for what I had — Lucyitis?

  99. Obi-Haiv
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    FW: I don’t get it. I mean, killing off a main character like Funky would be like Charles Schulz’ killing off Peanut in that little strip he drew.

  100. GarrisonSkunk
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Who wants chowda?

  101. beanwean
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42):

    I did. And I always wondered why inducing vomiting was a good solution for croup…

  102. Brent
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    I think the saddest thing would be that that’s the level of grammar of the editor that the syndicate can still afford.

  103. This Guy
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    I know what ipecac is because it was the go-to remedy when I was a kid, and I’m “only” 29. I never had to take it, because I never managed to ingest any poisons. Maybe early literacy saved me; it’s hard to say for sure.

  104. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 30th, 2010 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    Crock: A character looks to Heaven for help — and a miracle is performed. Hallelujah! (Is this the first time Crock’s creator has appeared in the strip as “himself”?)

    Alley Oop: There’s some nice background detail in this particular strip — including two of the dinosaurs carrying boulders in their “hands”!

  105. Andy L
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    What makes Gasoline Ally so unsettling is the relatively serious art style mismatched with wacky cartoonish hijinks. It’s like if the Judge Parker cast suddenly started doing slapstick vaudeville routines, or if if Mary Worth sat at the peak of her roof and began ranting about the Red Baron.

  106. Farley's Revenge
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @Andy L (#105): He’d be the Pale Pink Baron by the time Mary finished meddling the hell out of him.

  107. Uncle Lumpy
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @Andy L (#105):

    … if Mary Worth sat at the peak of her roof and began ranting about the Red Baron.

    Or that fateful day she had to choose between the Baron and her beloved Sgt. York.

    Although she would’ve dispatched the story in a brisk six months or so.

  108. NoahSnark
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Either it is a near-death experience or the people surrounding Funky Winkerbean are heartless bastards playing an extremely cruel practical joke. Honestly, it could go either way.

  109. Anonymous
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @Kijikun (#86):

    Yes, Curse of Monkey Island taught me to mix a Ipecac flower with pancake syrup for Syrup of Ipecac. That puzzle took me forever as at that age I had no idea what Ipecac was.

  110. Hi There
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Hi There is currently on vacation. Filling in is Hi There’s friend, Sorry Charlie.
    Sorry Charlie offers this interpretation of Thursday’s ‘Funky Winkerbean’:

    Funky Winkerbean continues his dreamlike state with a strange statement that reveals more about his internal psychology than perhaps he suspects. So far, his bewilderment is not based upon anything he might have seen between the wrecked car and Montoni’s – a distance he walked without expressing any confusion, with the sole exception of the comment about pruning (and this was more an observation than anything else).

    It’s not until a well-established routine (putting his key into the lock of Montoni’s) is disrupted (the lock refuses to submit!) that he finally starts to ‘open his eyes.’ Something is not right with his very familiar surroundings – how does he know? The door won’t open! The exterior of his restaurant is subtly different! – and so he begins the process of applying this new piece of knowledge to the larger world. In Friday’s or Saturday’s strip, Funky will realize that his life has been turned upside.

    It is worth pointing out that the exterior of Montoni’s reminds one of the exterior of the bar which Funky fled earlier. Thus, Funky is a man who likes to avoid surprises – even when he seeks to do something new and dangerous (drink in a bar he has never been inside before), he tried to keep things as familiar as possible.

    Finally, I would like to thank this website for hosting my observations. Hi There is still on vacation, but he has arranged to have someone else continue his ‘presence’ here for the next few days. Hi There should be back on Monday.

  111. Nekrotzar
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Hysterical Woman (#84): When my first child was born we stocked up on syrup of ipecac as we were instructed. Of course we later threw it out, and now we just keep some whole bowel irrigation in the medicine chest.

  112. Walker of Dog
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    7/1 –

    Phan: Kit checks out the ass on Agent #2 and likes what he sees.

    MW: As a financial counselor, Jenna understands the potential financial liabilities involved in an indoor fireworks show. But will she leave the table to warn the proprietor and risk interrupting her deepening connection with Dr. Mike? With great knowledge of business law comes great responsibility.

    MT: Mark cleverly maximized the number of people who would see his ad by placing it in the Variations/Other section of the personals. (No, he doesn’t want to have sex, but he does enjoy reading about it.)

    S-M: Move along, citizens – nothing here but exposition.

    RMMD: Elaine Benes IS June Morgan IN “Sweet Fancy Moses”.

    FC: Thel: “No sweat – I didn’t bother changing the wet sheets, just in case.”

  113. Poteet
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]


    9CL — Isn’t it past time for Gran to get a really, really strong sedative? What kind of hospital is this, anyway?

    DT — “Why? Why did you have to save my life? After all these decades, I’m READY to go! You think it’s fun being the protagonist in the current incarnation of this strip?!”

    Luann — You mean we aren’t going to be treated to a detailed description of Gunther’s junk? Damn.

  114. Farley's Revenge
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    MW: Needy woman alert! Run like the wind, Dr. Mike! Jenna’s already ordering the wedding cake and rearranging your sock drawer!

    RMMD: June is reenacting the entire afternoon’s events in interpretive dance. If the audience approves, she’ll get to eat the Chinese food with a fork.

    MT: I sure wouldn’t want to drive beneath that giant bird-is that supposed to be a brown jay?-when it decided to let loose. No car wash in the world would get that dropping off the roof of the car.

    9CL: Bookies in Vegas won’t make book on the odds of this storyline ending before I die.

  115. Paddy
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    In panel two we are treated to a sad face painted on Funky’s ass.

  116. Poor Thompson
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Grandstanding Oddball @ 42: I’m 23, and I read that series and loved it! I once saw a stage production of Anne of Green Gables, which was great, but in the scene where Anne is giving the ipecac to Minnie, the actress playing Anne just kept putting spoonful after spoonful of it into her mouth while she was waiting for the scene to finish. People in the audience stated laughing when they realized that if Minnie were swallowing that much ipecac in real life, she’d soon have bigger problems than she started with.

  117. Ed Dravecky
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @Thursday Next (#94): Oh I know Life on Mars (both versions) and Ashes to Ashes quite well. And you may well be right that it’s from these fine shows that Batiuk is “borrowing” but I must confess that the Computer is still my favorite Funky Winkerbean character and I still hold out hope for its return. If that means rebooting the series to the mid-1970s, so be it.

    Yes, I do have a favorite Funky Winkerbean character–and it’s one that hasn’t been seen or referenced in 20 years–but that doesn’t mean I’m… oh. Oh! I just now realized why the rest of you are posting under clever pseudonyms. Dammit.

  118. Poteet
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:32 am [Reply]


    MT — Good God. I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be a bluejay. Ow, ow, my eyes!

    MW — Ah, the simple pleasures. They both like walks, so they’ll be engaged within a week. Kinda like watching two dogs get acquainted. “Hey, your butt smells good!” “So does yours! Let’s hump!”

    S-M — I noticed where the webbing came from, Peter. Right out of your fat magic ass.

    SLYLOCK — I laughed out loud. Nicely done.

  119. Crankenstank
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Once upon a time, syrup of ipecac was considered a mandatory item to have in the home to induce vomiting in young children who’d eaten, say, battery acid or the family cat’s flea powder, until the American Pediatric Association did some research and discovered induced vomiting, if anything, tended to make poisoning cases worse. So here’s my point: this should be in Pluggers, not Gasoline Alley. “You’re a Plugger if You remember when vomiting was supposed to be GOOD for your health”. Gasoline Alley should’ve relied on the tried and true secret baking ingredient of 1910, castor oil. (A modern strip, of course, would’ve used ricin or perhaps run in the mill household anthrax. Cue Pearls Before Swine!)

  120. Poteet
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    FC — Jeffy sleeps in his usual horrid black-pants-with-blue-cuffs outfit? He has no pajamas? That’s one weird cult they got there.

  121. Snuggs
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    Will it warrant commentary if the story turns into Funky Does Dallas?

  122. ElkMeadow
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#107):

    Although she would’ve dispatched the story in a brisk six months or so.

    Which would have taken place in a small fraction of the time that the story arc at 9CWL is going, and would have been a lot more exciting, though only a small fraction of the excitement of Brook mugging back a money bag.

  123. This Guy
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#113): It’s the Hospital at the End of the Universe. I mean, it wasn’t originally designed that way; it’s just that the heat-death occurred while Gran was talking.

    Hey, you know who shares Brooke’s love of Walls o’ Text? Warrior™! Maybe this crap will become more entertaining if we imagine it being read in Warrior’s™ voice.


    (Side note: The spell checker in Firefox apparently has a really terrible dictionary.)
    (Further side note: I realize that example wasn’t nearly as batshit crazy as the things Warrior™ actually says, but I don’t think I can emulate that level of insanity. For the proper effect, I’d need a Markov text generator program.)

  124. ElkMeadow
    July 1st, 2010 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#117):

    Oh I know Life on Mars (both versions) and Ashes to Ashes quite well.

    Oh, man, now I’ve got earworms and Major Tom on the brain.

  125. This Guy
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#119): As best as I can tell, medical professionals didn’t really start calling for the discontinuation of ipecac use until the late ’90s and early naughts, so… yeah. Pluggerdom not required to remember that. This publication from 1994 urges parents to keep ipecac on hand and use it.

  126. ElkMeadow
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    What I don’t get (or haven’t learned yet) is, if they are hitting it off so well, what happened to all of the others that they dated before that didn’t work out?

    (Do not look under the floor boards, do not look in the crawl space.)

  127. curlyfries
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    9CWL: Look, Brooke, if you’re going to give in to your enduring fantasies of wanting to fuck [over] either Bogie or Bergman by gleefully running roughshod over Casablanca in a fucking Panzer tank, a few things. One of the reasons that particular love story is enduring is that it had some connection with reality. No such luck with this pail of rancid codswallop.

    Overlooking the fact that 1) opera singers that don’t moonlight in a neurology clinic usually don’t have firsthand TBI info at their fingertips and 2) it wouldn’t exactly be human nature to make your fiancee see the other guy as more deserving of her love than you, if Bill were, in fact, so afflicted with memory loss and seizures after coming out of a lengthy coma that he couldn’t even remember his own identity, it’s impossible that he’d be able to retain any memories of Edie and their perfect, unconsummated love. Bad enough you have Bill awaken speaking only French, which, as I’m sure listening over and over to those Celine Dion CDs has convinced you is the language of lurve, but the rest of it just won’t wash.

    People with TBI need a ton of compensatory strategies just to help them hang onto what their daily routine is, just so they won’t shower 25 times and eat breakfast 5 times in one morning. They just aren’t able to hang onto a time capsule of memories and experiences like you’re envisioning here. Many times they aren’t even able to remember what they were like prior to the injury. They know things are different, but often can’t grasp exactly what it is that’s missing. Their personalities are often profoundly changed – they’re literally not the same people they were before the accident, so in reality, you’ve given Edie a perfect “out”, since the man she fell in love with wouldn’t actually exist any more. But no, you want to have it all ways, so that it’s all so tragic and romantic and all and even better than Casablanca – and it’s still crap, especially the last bit.

    It would have been so much better if Bill had indeed dragged his O’Malley over a land mine as Poteet predicted – because that would have necessitated some hard, tough decision making on Edie’s part as to whether she could really love a man who couldn’t physically love her back.

  128. curlyfries
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#24): @Sans Sense (#39): You, sir or madam, are on fire tonight!

    @Grandstanding Oddball (#42): LOL, that was the first time I came across it! Uh, also where I first read the word “ejaculated”. Every once in a while Matthew would ejaculate at the dinner table, but it was even more disturbing when Anne or Marilla did it. Bunch of squirters up there in Prince Edward Island, lemme tell you. Anyway, we weren’t mothball and battery acid eating-type kids, so Mom didn’t have that in the medicine cabinet – I had to ask her what the heck it was.

    And if anyone dies from this poisoning attempt, which they could, then Gertie is facing a change of voluntary manslaughter, with malice aforethought. Maybe she can share a cell with Mark Trail’s Mr. Nasty McPornstache – you just know he fed those puppies poisoned bait.

  129. Push Trot
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#98): Maybe you’re a Lucyaoi fangirl?[*]

    Blondie: That’s the last time Dagwood asks Ziggy for advice about credit card companies.

    Crankshaft: “Greetings, Exalted One. I know that you are powerful, mighty Cranka, and that your anger with the city council must be equally powerful. I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial, and as a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two clerks. Both are timid and will serve well as targets for your abuse.”

    DtM: Dennis the Menace? Dennis the Deeply Disturbed Only Child is more like it. They’re going to find Joey’s body in a well soon.

    FC: “Me too, I just washed these sheets.”

    JP: Filth.

    Luann: >snip-snip<

    MW: Er, what happened between yesterday and today? How many white russians has Jenna had?

    Popeye: I love that guy.

    RMMD: That’s what Toots’ focusing on? Man, he really is a wuss.

    Six Chix: Doesn’t that baby look like Gunther? I guess there’s at least six girls out there who don’t like their men whimpering.

  130. CanuckDownSouth
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    Suuure nobody noticed where the webbing came from, including the two guys just behind the hole, screaming in terror, with a clear line of sight to you, Petey-boy, and MJ. They noticed, but are kindly ignoring your uncharacteristic outburst of heroism, as everyone knows Spiderman just doesn’t do such things and they don’t want to embarrass you.

  131. CanuckDownSouth
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    note: I’m referring to the guys in the 28 June Spiderman. Hint to the cartoonist: just because you don’t draw someone’s part of a scene for 3 days doesn’t mean that they don’t exist

  132. jamoche
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#9): Interesting theory, but instead of the Matrix I think the computer should be the one from “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream” – from Wikipedia: “The master computer has an immeasurable hatred for the group and spends every moment torturing them. AM has not only managed to keep the humans from taking their own lives, but has made them virtually immortal.”

  133. Mr. O'Malley
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    On a more literary plane, EPICAC is the computer that controls the US economy in Kurt Vonnegut’s Player Piano. A slightly dated joke, as many early computers had acronymic names ending in “Automatic Computer”, like ENIAC, ILLIAC, Univac, etc.

    One might justify adding the goat-based example of WESCAC in John Barth’s Giles Goat-Boy, for those interested in caprine social satire. (Sounds almost like something Bill the Cat would say.)

    And don’t forget the world’s funniest ipecac-based comedy routine (or was it syrup of squill?). Ipecac part doesn’t start until about 7:00, but it’s worth watching all the way through.

  134. Benn
    July 1st, 2010 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    FW: Funky’s in the Village! He’s the new No. 6. In the next strip, a speaker will announce the ice cream flavor of the day and he’ll meet No. 2.

  135. heavylifting
    July 1st, 2010 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    Is that a frowny face on Funky’s ass in panel 2?

  136. Lucky
    July 1st, 2010 at 4:58 am [Reply]

    Buckles – Now the possessed fursuit has mended itself after being ripped apart yesterday! Cross-sign, cross-sign!

    Funky Winkerbean – “Not after Westview seceded from the US.”

    Alternatively I could suggest that Funky’s funeral is being held on Fourth of July. Forget about a national holiday and fireworks, it’s mourning time in Funkverse!

    Gasoline Alley – Scancarelli is as subtle as a two-by-four.

    Mark Trail – “In Heaven, I mean- You can come pick up her ashes. Ha ha, just kidding. I only wanted to see your demon child cry one more time.”

    Marvin – They can’t be that perfect if they named their kid “Rodney”.

    Mary Worth – Wow, Jenna got totally wasted pretty quickly, judging by the trouble she’s having with hitting her mouth.

    Prickly City – Er, yes? That’s called ‘liberalism’ you know. Tax opposition isn’t a conservative invention.

  137. John C GreaterOmahaMetroArea
    July 1st, 2010 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    @Benn (#134): I hope it’s a Leo McKern episode! Best New Number Two ever! Second choice; Peter Wyngarde.

    JP – Okay, I’ve kept quiet about Neddy as long as possible, waiting for Manley to develop his own style while simultaneously mourning the absence of Eduardo Barreto – the bestest artist ever, of course, thank you for asking, etc. – but seriously, what’s with that thing on Neddy’s lip? Can we just get rid of it, Mr. Manley? Or at the very least, do a Winkerbeanian time jump to the day when her aloe and Vasoline treatments have gotten rid of it? I mean, this is Neddy Spencer here who, by my math, is still dangerously under age.

    And while we’re at it, give Abbey back her real bra size!


    Oh, and Mark Trail’s Moustache Guy has gotten John Entwistle’s “Talk Dirty” stuck in my head. But this is a good thing, you see.

  138. gleeb
    July 1st, 2010 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Yes, for years, fat failure Funky has been forcing the damned souls who work for him to do so on Independence Day, while he slept in and enjoyed the irony.

    Gas: Gertie’s about to induce vomiting in 10,000-year-old midnight-snacking Walt, which will cause a stroke or something.

    H&J: Hey, maybe if Eula gets car sick, you can just throw her over the side! Ugh, stick to cribbing Langston Hughes.

    Zippy: Ugh, stop cribbing Groucho Marx.

  139. Joe, Upper-Evergreen Guy
    July 1st, 2010 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    Smirky Cancerbean: Please let him be dead. Please let him be dead. Please let him be dead. Please let him be dead. Please let him be dead. Please please please please please…..

  140. Liz
    July 1st, 2010 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Syrup of ipecac is one of the tools used in the first Monkey Island game. So people under 50 have a chance of knowing what it is.

  141. Mela
    July 1st, 2010 at 7:41 am [Reply]


    A3G: Mama Svengali just wants to make sure Margo stays for the whole damn show.

    Bizarro: This is as douchey as when “Argyle Sweater” used the anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death to make a plastic surgery joke, but in that case, I suspect the artist had the strip drawn & sat on it until he thought it was “safe”. This, though? Too fucking soon.

    Buckles: God, again?! When I said you were stealing ideas from Gonterman, I thought I was joking! I’m so, so sorry.

    Edge: For fuck’s sake, it’s a HOT TUB! It’s not like my piney neighbors’ broken riding mowers (for sale for a low, low price for $5,000). I am more & more convinced that this strip is done by someone who is basing it off of his much-hated neighbors.

    FW: It’s actually gotten to the point where Gasoline Alley is outpacing you, Batiuk. That’s how overlabored this “suspense” is.

    GA: If this strip ends with Walt dying because the strain of the vomitting is too much for his 200+ year old body to handle thanks to his sleepeating & Gertie’s brilliant scheme, I will take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about this strip.

    H&J: Wow. Nothing says “drama queen” quite like comparing your road trip to being captured and sold into slavery. I hope this results in some dropped subscriptions.

    Luann: Luann’s grossed-out face – only slightly less disturbing than her “sly” pseudo-sultry face.

    MT: “In a good place now”. Is Sassy with a farm family somewhere?

    MG&G: This is somehow more tortured & strained than the “I’m dating a flight attendant” story.

    MC: Today’s winner!

  142. dreadedcandiru2
    July 1st, 2010 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#127): Thank you for that reminder that Brooke failed neurology forever; since he’s an undersexed imbecile who lives in Cloudcuckooland, he thinks that all that Bill needs to come back from something he cannot come back from is Twoo Wuv from a good woman. He also thinks that having Nazido Domingo consign a woman he impregnated to the inferior destiny of having everything charming about her erode away playing nursemaid to an irretrievably broken man is honorable, noble and good instead of a disgusting act of treachery perpetrated by a cowardly scoundrel.

  143. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Nancy: Fitzi Ritz… frolicking at the beach… in a bathing suit… (pant pant)

    Gil Thorp: The Angry Black Kid yells at the Skinny White Kid — let the games begin!

    Gasoline Alley: The Lord also helps those who help themselves, lady! (I hope Gertie has poison control on speed dial!)

  144. Mardou Fox
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MT: Sally may be in a safe place now, but Mark and that cop and the police cruiser they’re in are about to be snapped up by that giant bird.

  145. aloha_breeze
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Ipecacuanha is one of Amelia Peabody Emerson’s favorite medicines; the Sitt Hakim doles it out to anyone suffering from indigestion, be it an Egyptian villager or an English archaeologist.

  146. Brick Bradford
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MW Dullest first date EVER.

    RMMD June’s got whole new attitude now that she knows that niecey could kick her ass without breaking a sweat. And what is that implement that doofus is using to eat his spaghetti?

    SM Nah, no one would suspect Spider-Man was aboard. “Gee, look at all that webbing. The daddy long legs are really getting bad this year”.

    MT How many days until the right first o’justice?

  147. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Luann: that won’t be the only time Luann makes that face during a scene involving a naked Gunther and a three-second time frame. . . . .

    F-: Captain Ersatz is taking a cue from the newspaper SpiderMan.

    GF: panel 3, actually funny. I miss pre-burnout Darby Conley.

    RwO & SF: *applause* well done, clever, chuckle-inducing.

    Lio: could have sworn that Shark Boy wore a luchador mask as well. Ah well, still amusing.

    Love Is. . . playing with your twanger for her amusement.

    Yenny: it’s not Rule 34 if it’s canon. [*]

  148. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 1st, 2010 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: King Guz stands around doing nothing while Alley does a slow burn. (And is the Great Wall of Moo being built by dinosaur workers who are in the country illegally?)

    Scary Gary: Travis the Disembodied Head Guy is back! (I wonder what his Curmudgeon handle is?)

    Ripley’s: The Sultan of Brunei spends as much as $25,000 for a haircut! (Is it too late for me to enroll in Brunei Barber College?)

  149. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#147): (Re: Love Is) “Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!” Probably before your time, but Smilin’ Ed McConnell always used that phrase on his 1950s kiddie show (sponsored by Buster Brown Shoes, incidentally).

  150. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Red Panda says “O Hai!”

    I don’t usually go for these, but this one is uber wintastic.

  151. BowToTheBard
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    So there I was, giggling at that Mark Trail panel, until I mentally placed that panel of Rusty smiling and crying as the next panel. Pardon me, I need to go pour battery acid on my brain now.

  152. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    FC: “You know the one, Mommy, where you pull the blankets over my head and I can’t—mmmnnnnnfffffff….”

    BB: FW has actually corrupted improved my world view: as I finished reading today’s BB, all I could think was, C’mon, Black Panel o’ Doom!

    A3G: Holy crapping pancakes! With friends like Ruby, who needs hair-bowed enemies?

    MT: Why are they meeting on the outskirts of town? Does Mark have some sort of driving impediment that prevents him from driving a car in an urban area? Perhaps he’d see all the pedestrians as road-crossing wildlife, swerving wildly and hollering, “Look out!” Post-carnage, Mark would blithely walk away, confident that those fellows over at the hospital will fix the wounded right up, and thinking about that next stack of pancakes.

    SM: So Peter was the only one standing in front of the hole, and now there’s webbing plugging it (with a kicky Judy Chicago motif!), and no one makes the connection? I guess that in a world filled with those kinds of morons, it is plausible that Spider-Man would be considered a superhero.

  153. Vroshnak
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Imagine reading Luann today, without knowing anything about what has been going on.

    “It was at LEAST three seconds!” Gunther says, begging Luann to agree.

  154. Krazy Kat
    July 1st, 2010 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Alright, Funky, we get it, THIS SHIT IS WEIRD. Now hurry up and realize you’re dead, or whatever the hell is going on.

  155. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    July 1st, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MW: Okay, I’ve scoffed at the notion that any sort of interesting plot will develop here, but if this romance continues without a hitch, it really will be a new low, even for this strip.

    Note to Karen Moy: To have any interest in your story, we need to care for at least one reason. Are these characters likable, so we cheer on their new-found happiness? Nope, they’re stiff and dull, and about as far from being charismatic as Rusty Trail is from being recognizably human. Are they faced with interesting conflicts or obstacles so that we’re curious how they’ll overcome them? Nope, wondering how they can actually choke down that beige food doesn’t constitute an “interesting conflict.” Do we so adore your titular character that we’re caught in a wave of ecstatic personal mini-meddlegasms simply by watching her set up a blind date? Nope, our main source of joy in this strip comes when the Mistress of Darkness is thwarted, even if she always eventually triumphs.

    So, what’s it going to be? How will the course of this love not run smoothly? Will Bonnie Johnson see the two lovebirds and (rightly) raise a stink? Will Jenna…. Will the doctor…..

    Oh my god. These people are so dull that I can’t even conjure up any interesting skeletons for their closets.

    Sigh….. Let’s just move on to the close-up of Mary beheading roses while she self-congratulates as Toeby looks on in awe, shall we?

  156. Shoebox
    July 1st, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @beanwean (#101): Ipecac was administered for croup because it’s a viral infection of the upper chest, meaning it swells up the throat. Assist the patient to cough up the phlegm buildup, and they’re at least able to breathe better.

    (Why, yes, I have been a tender devotee of L.M. Montgomery’s since I was a little sneaker. Why do you ask?)

  157. Walker of Dog
    July 1st, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#152): FC: If only Funky could have been time-swapped with Jeffy at that exact moment. Although that would send Jeffy to Westview, wandering aimlessly, jabbering to himself, and disrupting the current compelling FW narrative.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#143): And did you check out the hand-things on the ends of Derek’s arms? Maybe they help him put some extra spin on his pitches, but they also require a custom-tailored glove as big as a topsail.

  158. spike
    July 1st, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#127) and @dreadedcandiru2 (#142): I was thinking that Kiesl was just parrotting whatever drivel that Yancey had fed him, but have decided that you’re absolutely right–especially about the rending if Casablanca. If Edith/Eva had really felt that she had lost both great “loves of her life”, why didn’t she just join the Carmelite Order and retreat from reality, since no man she met thereafter could ever “measure up to Bill”?? She already had had the chance to see/meet Kiesl when she was still stationed in Munich, but passed up the chance ten years earlier. Brooke continues, like Li’l Billy Keane, to wander all over the the territory, looping back, zigging, zagging, etc., until this story line ends in…2012.

    FW: This story line is also destined to end in 2012, given the current pace. The Batiuk/Mceldowney Standoff continues.

  159. George Bailey
    July 1st, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Unlike “A Wonderful Life” Funky will realize that the world without him is a better place, free of cancer, broken lives and general misery.

  160. Shiai
    July 1st, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    The Funky Winkerbean reboots have taken them to what, their early 40s now? Why is Funky himself drawn as a gouty 68 year old?

  161. Carlo
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    No one mentioned that it’s against the law to poison food, as posited by Gasoline Alley?

  162. Steve
    July 1st, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    My prediction: Funky lingers in part-life, becoming more angry and bitter as he sees his friends grow happy without him until finally sorted out by Dean Winchester and a shotgun of rock salt.

  163. grg
    July 1st, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: why not bake in sleeping pills? I’d much rather find two passed out criminals than a trail of vomit.

  164. Tophat
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    The real mystery here is who, exactly, took the time to draw that slightly surly face on Funky’s ass in the second panel there? Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty much a billboard just ripe for vandalism, but since this is Funky Winkerbean I’m just wondering why it isn’t crying bitter tears of pain and revulsion instead.

  165. Jennarules!
    July 1st, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    I notice the poster in the vet’s office seems to be a large picture of Marmaduke’s head with the caption, “Got Worms?” This idea horrifies me, not least because the worms living in Marmaduke could be any size, from normal-sized worms to city-eating ones.

  166. Dr. Dong
    July 1st, 2010 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised who ever is in charge of Marmaduke has the guts to continue the strip after the movie bombed.

  167. Black Drazon
    July 1st, 2010 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Liz (#140): I haven’t finished the first but it was definitely in the third.

  168. He Who Must Be Oh Never Mind
    July 2nd, 2010 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    GA: I think a glimpse at Gertie’s blouse would be enough to cause vomiting. Her black-and-white, gridlined blouse. Her oddly two-dimensional, no-hint-of-perspective blouse, with the lines that continue unwaveringly straight as they cross her arms and matronly bosom. She must have one hell of a tailor.

  169. Eric Post
    July 2nd, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    You cannot disguise ipecac in food. It’s made that way on purpose so that it can’t be used for such things. If you could disguise it, think of the fun everyone would be having

  170. IronMouse
    July 4th, 2010 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    So Funky may be dead, but we can still see him…Does that mean we’ve all been sent to hell?

  171. social workers
    October 20th, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!

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