It’s funny horrifying ’cause it’s true
The Lockhorns, 8/15/06
Today’s Lockhorns is evidence of the feature’s unrelenting commitment to total authenticity. It’s not that one of them is right and the other cartoonishly wrong, you see; it’s that they are fundamentally incompatible, and yet married to one another. I’m not sure that this comic contains a joke per se; rather, Leroy and Loretta in a larger sense illustrate the basic reality that our lives and our interactions with others are fundamentally absurd. They seem preternaturally inured to the hollowness of it all, but it’s often a wonder to me how their marriage counselor keeps from slitting his wrists.
Herb and Jamaal, 8/15/06
Today’s Herb and Jamaal is like a magpie fascinated by a shiny object and unable to divert its attention from it. In this case, clearly the polysemous nature of the word “cell” — you see, it could refer to a cellular phone, or a prison cell! — provided an irony too delicious to pass up, no matter the fundamental problems of narrative that this gag presents. For instance, last I checked, you can’t actually call someone in his cell, because prisoners aren’t allowed to have personal phones. Of course, sometimes corrupt guards smuggle phones in to the inmates, but these are generally — you guessed it — cell phones. There’s a potential joke here about calling someone both in and on his cell, but clearly Herb and Jamaal doesn’t have the stomach for an exploration of the deficiencies of the American incarceration industry.
Anyway, despite the fact that the strip is totally unable to string 50 words in a row without creating a major plot hole, the whole thing is made worthwhile by Herb’s hilarious reaction shot in the final panel, right? Oh, wait a minute, no it isn’t.
Kudzu, 8/15/06
Don’t feel too bad, though, Herb and Jamaal: for all your failings today, at least you didn’t do a can’t-program-the-VCR joke.
jailbird
August 15th, 2006 at 9:11 pm
I’m first!
Why is the Lockhorns strip still running? It’s baffling.
Minivet
August 15th, 2006 at 9:13 pm
Technically speaking, Kudzu didn’t do a can’t-program-the-VCR joke either.
Really, I realize bad, forced jokes are still jokes (H&J qualifies), but that fourth panel, I think, lacks even a single characteristic that would allow an observer to identify it as such.
Dawn Weston
August 15th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
what Kudzu failed to do with it’s “Can’t-Program-a-VCR” is do the HILARIOUS double whammy of “I-can’t-program-a-VCR-yet-my-kid-neighbor/son/nephew/random baby can”
Da Scrodfather
August 15th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
The only thing saving the Lockhorns’ therapist from dispair is the hollow concavity of his obviously alien skull.
They’re studying us, people!
TDB
August 15th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
Ok, maybe it’s petty to point out little things like this, but who has a moustache like that Herb character…it looks like it’s growing out of the sides of his nose.
janisonthewall
August 15th, 2006 at 9:23 pm
In Kudzu, is that the preacher’s arm or a steroidal drumstick (lovingly sniffed in panel 3)?
Dick
August 15th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
I had to look up three words while reading this post.
Foolster41
August 15th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Those kids at family circus are at it again:
http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF187-Way_Too_Much.png#178
I don’t normily like Perry bible fellowship much, but I liked this one.
Gary Carson
August 15th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
I don’t know if they still do, but in the Victoria County Jail, In Texas, a caller would reach a CO with a cell phone and he’d bring you the phone in your cell. I think that might have been limited to the lockup area of detainees waiting to make bail.
ohgrl
August 15th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
That marriage counselor’s skull gives me the creeps. But, that’s what you get when humans and microceratops interbreed.
Yeah, I wanted to be a palentologist when I was a kid. How’d ya guess?
yudantaiteki
August 15th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
#7 – hmm, were they “preternatural”, “inured”, and “polysemous”?
ohgrl
August 15th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Kudzu: Oh man, now I got Tom Jones’ “You Can Leave Your Hat On” runnin through my head. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…
Beasley
August 15th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
WTF is a VCR?
Oh…and get offa my lawn!
MJ1066
August 15th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
Herb and Jamaal: That “cell phone = phone in a jail cell” joke has been done I-don’t-know-how-many times before.
Hysterical Woman
August 15th, 2006 at 10:00 pm
Shouldn’t the Reverend What’s-his-name’s magazine be getting wet? Hell, WHY IS HE IN THE BATHTUB?
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 15th, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Looking at this Lockhorns strip, I thought that beardy marriage counselor looked kinda familiar. Sure enough, if you look through Josh’s archives you’ll see that the Lockhorns have visited him before – just in case you doubt it’s the same guy “Dr.Pullman” helpfully has his diploma displayed in both cartoons. Could this be the first ever non-Lockhorns recurring character in the strip?
Uncle Lumpy
August 15th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
#12 ohgirl – You mean Randy Newman’s You Can Leave Your Hat On? And thanks. Thanks a lot!
Even though Kudzu is pretty dreadful, it’s cute that there’s a magazine for competitive pastors, and that its name is Steeple.
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 15th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Check Josh’s entry for the Lockhorns on Wednesday, December 14th, 2005. It’s the same marriage counselor – “Dr.Pullman” even has his diploma helpfully displayed on the wall in case you doubt it. Could this be the very first non-Lockhorn recurring character in the strip?
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 15th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
Er, sorry about the double post. My grasp on this new-fangled computer technology seems to rival that of the good reverend.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
April, she be in the shit.
Dingo
August 15th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Oh, I guess I should have said that was from me.
April, she be in the shit.
More information about young girls and horses may be found on the internet.
ohgrl
August 15th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Uncle Lumpy: Nope. It was also used in The Full Monty.
And you’re welcome–just thought I’d share the love. :)
AppleGirl
August 15th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
MW: From the happy look on his face, Dr. Cory is coming home with a sweet Asian Internet Bride. Ol’ Mary will be broken-hearted and will accept a rebound date with Aldo, who will teach Mary the delicious joys of hate-sex.
Opus
August 15th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
This place is very cathartic: I was deeply creeped out by that marriage therapist’s frightening head…and here I found fellow sufferers. (He looks like the 3D version of those faces that supposedly could be viewed right-side up and upside-down, but which actually looked extremely odd in the latter version).
Meanwhile, I’m unnaturally obsessed with finding out what’s happening in Mary Worth. Who cares about hospital volunteerism? I want to know what’s happening with Captain Keldrast!
Pantsman
August 15th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
#24, Funny you should mention that Opus, I thought the exact same thing, even before seeing your comment, and flipped and magnified the Doc’s head.
The result is as least as normal looking a human as the original. Perhaps it is the unholy offspring of Waldo and a porcupine. Whatever it is, at least it’s more attractive than the characters that appear in Prickly City.
AppleGirl
August 15th, 2006 at 11:53 pm
Wednesday’s Mary Worth shows Mary talking to Dr. Jeff Cory from her sedan, using her hands-free OnStar mobile communication system! But he’s not saying anything back to her. Mum’s the word on that Asian bride, eh doc?
AppleGirl
August 15th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
And it looks like Mary is wheeling that sedan through an inner-city street festival!
3 dog night
August 16th, 2006 at 12:06 am
ohgrl, I’m with Lumpy. Tom did his version, yes, and it may be better known than anything Randy Newman ever did, but it’s still Randy’s song. Just like you’ll always be your momma’s baby.
dribble
August 16th, 2006 at 12:17 am
Drabble 8/16: wait, the two people going to see manilow are married?! All this time (years now) I thought this was like “Momma”, and he was her son. I may have to go back through the Drabble archives now and revisit the whole Drabble world. This changes everything!
2fs
August 16th, 2006 at 12:17 am
And 3 dog night: your name reminds me that “Mama Told Me Not to Come” was not originally by Three Dog Night. It was by Oedipus.
dribble
August 16th, 2006 at 12:29 am
well, I got back to July 12th. I really don’t care anymore if he’s her husband or not. I just want to avoid ever reading Drabble again.
paddywhack69
August 16th, 2006 at 12:48 am
Another mistake in today’s Herb and Jamaal: the stunt-doubles in panel 3 are clearly African-American.
Mumblix Grumph
August 16th, 2006 at 1:35 am
I can’t find the humor in the Lockhorns…oh wait, there it is! It’s hidden in the doctor’s macrencephalic head!
J.P. Patches
August 16th, 2006 at 1:35 am
PBS this week, with the drawings of the FC kids as adults, is the funniest thing I’ve seen in any comic for months.
Jonathan
August 16th, 2006 at 2:13 am
I did my MA thesis on polysemy – fascinating word! I nearly wet myself when I saw it here… (knock yourself out – you can read it here).
The cell phone ‘joke’ is completely ruined by being explained. Surely just saying ‘no, in his cell’ would be funnier.
And who the hell still uses VCRs these days?! Probably people who wear hats in the bath and have conversations with themselves in thought bubbles while reading magazines. I never understood that – how do they stop them becoming huge soggy messes?
Polysemous… heh heh.
Mibbitmaker
August 16th, 2006 at 3:05 am
8/16:
FOOB: yeah… treats in the pockets…. that’s it…..
FW: the 8/17 strip:
Les: “Cancer cancer cancer”
Lisa: “Cancer?”
Les: “Cancer cancer. Cancer.
Lisa: “Cancer cancer cancer cancer, cancer cancer cancer! Cancer.”
Spiderman: Nice pun, dipwit! Now I hope LaMarr wins the fight.
BB: Now it’s their turn to do the Foob Cowboy Analogy Shtick. Maybe it’s the spread of Danae-itis.
A3G: “Gads”?!? Gads! Margo, re what Tommie said: Nor the second.
Adam: Danae-itis spreads further. Yee-haw.
SF: I can, though, Ralph! Fire Ralph, Sally; fire Ralph.
Curtis: Turns out, Michelle’d be better off with Kelrast than the young, black Howard Erk (Foob version), here. Gads!
Dilbert: I’m sorry it came to that, too. Well… he *could’ve* had Satan weilding a *fork*!
Nancy: Is he just unloading his cache, or are we at the Curmudgeon being insulted?
H&L: Baby thoughts continue: “And how the heck do they get all those snakes in there, while I’m at it?!”
lesles
August 16th, 2006 at 3:36 am
#21
oh my god, dingo’s right! who would’ve guessed there was stuff like that on the internets?
Eric
August 16th, 2006 at 4:33 am
So my very first thought upon looking at that Lockhorns comic was OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS HEAD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP IM SO SCARED ITS NOT RIGHT ITS JUST NOT and then eventually it was okay, because, well, it’s the Lockhorns, so what did I expect?
Look, there are many reasons to dislike this city I live in: Smog, traffic, police helicopters, celebrities, paparazzi… there’s a lot of bad stuff that goes down around here. But you know what? Neither of the two largest papers in town carries the Lockhorns. Say what you will about Los Angeles, but we are not subjected on a daily basis to the sheer flat black monolith of lovelessness and hatred that is Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn.
I think we are happier because of it. I know I was, until I saw that guy’s head.
htr
August 16th, 2006 at 6:29 am
itd be awesome to see a lockhorns murder/suicide finale. finally everyone would be happy.
tefflan
August 16th, 2006 at 6:36 am
H&J: Honestly, if the artist had left Herb’s remark out of the third panel, had Herb react in the third panel like he did in the fourth, and then left off the entire fourth panel, the joke would have been funny. You know, “Give him a call in his cell,” and then Herb reacts. Three panels long. Comedy gold.
Dalo Kelrast (Aldo's creepy Canuck cousin)
August 16th, 2006 at 7:06 am
Mibbetmaker,
I think the character in today’s Dilbert is actually Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light, hence the spoon rather then pitchfork.
Zorba the Geek
August 16th, 2006 at 7:20 am
Hey, Your Popeness, what’s with the giant header on this page, and where did the logo go (or is it just my browser)?
yellojkt
August 16th, 2006 at 7:47 am
You made me look ou “polysemous”. I just thought it was something kinky Mormons did.
mere cog in the machine
August 16th, 2006 at 7:51 am
‘Luann’ seems to be spiraling downward into a dark place seething with blood, violence, and the grim potential for ritualized rape and incest. Where’s that zany, kooky Knute when you need him?
yellojkt
August 16th, 2006 at 7:51 am
Jonathon (#35) asked:
People without Tivo’s. That reminds me that I still have last week’s Alton Brown’s Feasting On Asphalt show to watch.
Randalll
August 16th, 2006 at 7:53 am
In todays TDIET Nerdly’s taking his life in his hands jacking with a POSTAL employee. Mr. Zippys gonna give him a copper jacketed express answer to his address question.
EZ_e
August 16th, 2006 at 8:09 am
26,27 – Loved MW today. Mary’s doing the classic oblivious old lady driving on the sidewalk bit, while she narrowly runs down a gay couple and their two frolicking children.
The smug self satisfaction just drips from her: ‘I know you’re “called” to do your work’. Hopefully she doesn’t take her hands off the wheel to make the finger quote signs, or she’ll kill a few more people. Then she’ll tell the police the gas pedal got stuck.
BigJoe
August 16th, 2006 at 8:14 am
MW: At first glance I thought the two boys were skipping down the sidewalk holding hands. (Actually that would have been cool to throw in a drawing like that just for the hell of it.)
And why are all the passersby staring into Mary’s car? Is she so famous that everyone’s gawking at her? Or (more likely) is she so into her daydreaming that she’s sailing in the wrong direction down a one-way street?
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mary.asp?date=20060816
BigJoe
August 16th, 2006 at 8:16 am
Dang EZ_e, nobody had commented on Mary’s driving and the spectators and then you had to post while I was typing up mine?
Paul James
August 16th, 2006 at 8:24 am
The good Doctor in the Lockhorns simply has a head that matches his analytical style. It’s phallic in the Freudian sense.
Philly
August 16th, 2006 at 8:42 am
Re: Kudzu – I’m dying to know what a Disney-designed pulpit would look like.
Islamorada Girl
August 16th, 2006 at 8:43 am
I predict! I predict that when Mar Worth finally gets back to Chatterstone, full of her own self-righteousness as always, one of the following events will have happened:
a) Aldo will be waiting for her inside her apartment
b) Aldo will have destroyed her roses
c) Ugly things will have been written about her on her door—in blood.
Of course, the cool thing would be to find Aldo dead as doornail on her floor, w ith a stake through his heart, but Muy and Gilella don’t do cool.
Philly
August 16th, 2006 at 8:44 am
Also – reading today’s Mary Worth and her musings on “healing,” I was totally hoping for a third panel featuring Aldo listening to Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” on full blast.
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 8:50 am
Once again, today’s Archie would be indecipherable without a solid grounding in early Christian history and dogmatics. “315″ in the first panel is a reference to the date of the First General Council of Antioch, at which the pre-Nestorian Assyrian Church first began to assert that the presence of both the Father and the Holy Spirit were present in the Virgin at the time of the Annunciation. This is further represented by the image of Betty, present but not speaking, in panels one and three. Jughead, who represents Moldavian Orthodoxy, is asserting that despite the plunging of the world into a state of sin and decay, the Church should cleave to its original teachings and npt be led astray. Today’s Archie represents a call to the faithful to fear the teachings of Nestorianism (Archie himself, representing the Son purely as Man, stands alone in the second panel and invokes fright).
Seaweed
August 16th, 2006 at 8:56 am
Prison cell/cell phone joke be damned. I can’t stop looking at Herb’s claw-hand in panel two. What is that thing?
Hogenmogen
August 16th, 2006 at 9:02 am
Didja notice the way Mary Worthless went to the hospital, gawked at the “healers” and left? Is she envious of the “healers” ability to heal people? Perhaps it is a divine gift that Mary, sadly does not posess. Perhaps it is a learned skill that if Mary really wanted to acquire, she would have enrolled in nursing school or some other medical program so she would be allowed within 10 feet of an actual sick person instead of merely blathering about “healers” as if they have some Star-Trek-alien-like power to lay their hands on a patient and suddenly the patient has overcome the ailment.
On Monday’s strip, panel 1, two health care professionals are required to hold Mary back from further injuring the patient with her unsolicited advice (”Cheer up, Buttercup!”). By the second frame, the man standing beside her has safely handcuffed her to a medical cart.
In yesterday’s strip, this man has strangely morphed into female form. “Your Dr. Cory, I presume?” She humors Mary, for this anonymous and androgynous medical professional is aware that “Dr. Cory” is only a figment of Mary’s imagination who only exists in thought ballons as she longingly gazes into space. Yes, it is easy to see that Mary is suffering from Bridget Jones syndrome.
Wednesday’s strip she’s on her way home after a long, hard day of incessent platitudinal drivel. Now back to “Far From The Maddening Crowd”, tuna casserole and heated Dr. Cory fantasies.
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 9:03 am
And yea, verily, on the sixteenth day of the month of Augustus he spake thusly…
A3G : Catfight catfight catfight catfight catfight… c’moooooooon catfight!!
B.C. : How does a doctor put something on your tongue if your mouth is closed?
Ballard Street : I haven’t talked about Ballard Street yet because I’ve been trying to figure it out. All I can say is, very disturbing and never funny. I hereby officially label today’s little bestiality exhibition “Anthroconesque”.
DT : Well I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some hot cop-on-transsexual action.
Dilbert : Words escape me. I can’t even come up with an explanation for today’s Dilbert other than that Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light is cornholing some poor cellphone user on the boardroom table. The gritted teeth confirm it. Best detail: Phil’s unforked tail appears to be giving Mr. Cellphone a reach-around.
Do I have a dirty mind or something? It’s all sex in the comics today. More later…
Hogenmogen
August 16th, 2006 at 9:09 am
#54, Craigers, what is the significance of the
three balloons found both in the poster for the ride and floating over the actual ride itself? Some holy scepter? Tell me more, tell me more!
Hysterical Woman
August 16th, 2006 at 9:12 am
57. God, you’re right about that Dilbert. The editors probably had to draw clothes on them. Sexy sexy comic!
Brian Schlosser
August 16th, 2006 at 9:14 am
#51: A Disney designed pulpit features an oversized statue of Mickey Mouse in a cassock holding a cross while a penitent Goofy kneels before him to be blessed. Deluxe models also includes an audioanimatronic Jesus (a la The Hall Of Presidents) who recites the sermon on the mount while tiny robotic children from many lands sing “It’s a Small Afterworld After all”.
Hogenmogen
August 16th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Dick Tracy: Ok, Lottie, so this terrorist called you ugly. Is that really the worst of his crimes? He was trying to blow up the Capitol Building, you know. And, it’s not slander if it’s TRUE. Anyway, you were a double agent who eventually put a bullet in his chest. Maybe that hurt HIS feelings – ever think of that? Yeah, Lottie, cry me a river while you explain the most confusing Dick Tracy plot line ever.
Drakee
August 16th, 2006 at 9:17 am
The Lockhorns: There is something special going on here… We see for perhaps the first time both Lockhorns, not going at each other’s throats, but aiming their mocking attention at a third party. The awkwardness and lack of humor in the cartoon, I believe, reflect Loretta’s and Leroy’s inexperience in doing anything not related to passive-aggressively taking potshots at each other.
Doonesbury: I have always respected and admired Gary Trudeau, but lately he has been doing something that bothers me greatly. Why do all his young, male adults call each other “dawg”? Who does this? Is this his attempt to show how hip he is to the kids? Or am getting too old to see that cool people actually say things like “Dawg, go for pizza?”.
EZ_e
August 16th, 2006 at 9:24 am
49 – yeah, sorry, consider getting up an hour earlier from now on.
I thought they were holding hands, too. The whole panel is odd.
I think the one guy is saying, “Hey, isn’t that Mary Wor…aggghhh”
rich
August 16th, 2006 at 9:31 am
15: That guy’s always in the bathtub. I have to say, among the many things I don’t like about Kudzu, the preacher’s disgusting fat forearm is number one.
Oh, and there’s more grabass in today’s FBOW…Lynn just can’t resist those buttcentric moments!
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 9:33 am
Continuing…
FoxTrot : I heart Andy Fox in tank tops.
Get Fuzzy : Bucky still reigns as the funniest character being currently drawn.
La Cucaracha : You stole the Mel Gibson circumcision joke from “Shouts and Murmurs” this week’s New Yorker. And it was stupid weak even then.
MF : 10,000 to 1 that Bruce Tinsley’s record collection includes at least three Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass records.
MW : Driving while stoned again, Mary. Tsk.
Peanuts : I don’t want to comment on Peanuts too much, because I could write a lot on Peanuts and how marvelous it is (was), but that gets boring fast. Today I can’t help myself. Peanuts isn’t art. It’s great art. Heck, today’s strip is not just art, but poetry too. Schultz’s drawing, and his attention to details of expression that seem roughly sketched but are perfect emotional cues like Linus’s mouth in panel one, is justly praised. He receives not nearly enough praise, though, for the quality of his writing and diction, which is limpid, flowing, beautiful, crafted. Linus’s speech today rolls off the tongue with fired eloquence. And he receives almost no credit for the quality of his ideas… which are powerful. Funny, quirky, off-centre, but with the absolute ring of truth and the rage, brimstone and love of the world of a genuine prophet. Panel one, especially “the nasty things they said about George Washington”, is artistic genius of the highest order.
Speed Bump : As the father of a preschooler, this seems entirely natural to me. I have had more lengthy, quasi-philosophical discussions about pooping and the nature of poop in the last four months than in my previous 33 years combined.
Hogenmogen
August 16th, 2006 at 9:41 am
#4 – Da Scrod – This is the story of how the Lockhorns have saved the world from invasion of the spud-headed-creatures from outer space:
From the final report of “Dr. Pullman” (aka special advance agent Blipto) to the Ruling Council of Spud-nik –
Supreme Leader, I advise that the invasion be called off immediately. After many years of closely studying the specimens of Earth I can only conclude that this is the planet of inconceivable misery, despair, hopelessness and very bad hair. I shall be departing as soon as possible to return to Spud-nik for peace, tranquillity and a shave.
Dingo
August 16th, 2006 at 9:41 am
I’m really surprised that in 44 posts no one has commented on my April animation. I was going to make another with the horse and her asscandy but…
Sean-o
August 16th, 2006 at 9:42 am
59 & 57 (sounds like I’m addressing the Monarch’s henchmen)…I too was freaked by Dilbert, a strip I absolutely hate and glanced at by accident. Like it’s not bad enoughed to get one’s “chocolate Cheerio” violated in public, on a desk at work no less, but it has to be someone in a Satan costume? Did the Dark Bros. have something to do with this? The whole episode sounds like TDIET fodder. Oh yeah!
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 9:53 am
The whole episode sounds like TDIET fodder. Oh yeah!
LOL Sean-o.
J’EVER NOTICE? Every time you walk around the office looking for a little IN-THE-BUM ACTION, all anyone wants to do is talks about BUDGETS…
BUT… when you’re eager to get the sales meeting going? Heh-heh, well some guy in a DEVIL COSTUME always figures it’s the perfect time to plow YOUR ring on the boardroom table in front of the Regional Vice-President!
Oh, YEAH!
smacky
August 16th, 2006 at 9:54 am
A3G: I heart Margo. She looks like an 80-year-old woman in a wig, and her voice gets louder (and her words more bold) as the first thing out of her mouth in the morning is Gads–Could there be Anything more BORING?!
Can you blame her though? She still has the taste of last night in her mouth (perhaps an off-panel date with the HAT MAN???)
Cornwhacker
August 16th, 2006 at 10:05 am
67: I liked it, Dingo. Anne Murray for the win
Dave
August 16th, 2006 at 10:05 am
08-16 Dinette Set:
Finger-quoting Burl !!
cheech wizard
August 16th, 2006 at 10:06 am
Craigers – your analysis of religious iconography in Archie is most illuminating. It must follow, then, that Veronica represents the Whore of Babylon; and the deciever and tempter of Archie, the Christ figure? Let he who hath understanding count the number of the beast; it is 36-24-36. Truly it must follow then that Mr. Lodge is Satan; Reggie is Judas; and Big Moose represents the disciples, for whom Jesus had to dumb everything down into simple parables so they could understand it.
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Cheech wizard, much is to be revealed over the coming weeks. See this first post for an introduction to the concept of Archie exegesis, including some basic foundational principles.
Ellie
August 16th, 2006 at 10:30 am
Dingo — I didn’t see the little play icon in the corner, but I just watched the whole thing. So freakin’ funny. I love the horse’s laugh at the end there.
Joan
August 16th, 2006 at 10:33 am
Craigers, damn you for making me read Ballard Street for the first time ever.
WTF is going on in the August 15 panel? Is he masturbating in bed in front of his cat and quietly sobbing and laughing like Santa? With a disturbed and disappointed look on his face?
Gah!
Marc
August 16th, 2006 at 10:48 am
MW – Oh man, she must be in the ritzy part of town…an orange shirted man with dark blue slacks. I like how one of the men is looking at Mary while she’s driving because it looks like she’s talking ot herself.
A3G – Looks like Margo’s got some stress marks in panel one.
TurtleBoy
August 16th, 2006 at 10:49 am
#52, Islamorada Girl: might one of these scenarios involve bunny-boiling? The silver-screen potential is truly tremendous!
I can see it now: “Mary Worth: The Emotionless Picture,” starring Bea Arthur, with Peter Tork as Aldo Kelrast, and Margot Kidder as Rita Begler.
Oh, the inanity!
tefflan
August 16th, 2006 at 10:49 am
Mary, Aldo is in your TRUNK!
Bitter Scribe
August 16th, 2006 at 10:50 am
Why on earth would that therapist resent the Lockhorns? They’re probably putting his kids through college.
della
August 16th, 2006 at 10:50 am
I like Ballard Street. It’s the kind of absurdist humor that won’t be funny to a lot of people ever, and won’t be funny to those who like every time, but it comes out left field and sometimes it really works for me. which explains why it got voted off the island last time our local paper revamped, I suppose.
tefflan
August 16th, 2006 at 10:53 am
#35 Jonathan: I promise you, I didn’t rip off your remark in my #40. I didn’t see it before I made my comment. But it really WOULD be funnier if the strip had just left it at “in his cell,” wouldn’t it?
Sean-o
August 16th, 2006 at 10:54 am
Craigers…you should stop wasting time posting comments and instead become RICH writing your own vile, blasphemous, unwholesome comic strip…it would likely be riotous, as opposed to the 98% of drek that is commented on here…
banana
August 16th, 2006 at 10:55 am
long time reader, first time poster, love this site…
I had to chime in because today’s dilbert gave me pause as well, but I got it: Phil is ’spooning’ the guy. That thing you do to cuddle with a significant other, like spoons?
it’s still disturbing though.
derbs
August 16th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Re: #69 -Craigers:
Classic.
OH, yeah!
Mr Froth
August 16th, 2006 at 11:10 am
Todays’ FOOB: It is great to see that the animal kingdom has picked up on the atomic wedgie; and on such a deserving target/victim as April.
ben
August 16th, 2006 at 11:18 am
Is it very wrong to think that Luann’s two-piece sleepwear number is kinda saucy?
Art F.
August 16th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Why is it that dudes that have that “I-gathered-my-mullet-into-a-ponytail” look always seem to have a relative in jail? Why is that, I ask you?!
420
August 16th, 2006 at 11:21 am
I hate Frazz. Not so much the comic as much as the character in the comic. Any baseball loving, junk food eating, couch potato would know why.
MaryAnnTheRest
August 16th, 2006 at 11:25 am
Gads!! This is the first rude thing that popped into Margo’s head? No. We know Margo better than that. Tommie should, too.
Re: the “overexplain the joke” thing in H&J, the last panel of today’s Foxtrot gets it perfect. If Peter had said “get lost when camping,” I would have been insulted.
Re: Doonesbury. I always thought “dawg” was a private joke between Jeff and Zonker’s nephew, Zi’m too lazy too look up his name. I don’t think Trudeau uses it for any other characters.
mk
August 16th, 2006 at 11:26 am
The reverend in that strip exhibits his lack of technical know-how still further by saying that the other rev is “techno-savvy”. Who is this other rev? One of the Chemical brothers? Aphex Twin?
The proper term is “tech-savvy” unless you are moping over your competition’s mad rave dj skillz.
doolz
August 16th, 2006 at 11:29 am
Best! Marmaduke Cartoon! Ever!
Make sure this is zoomed, and view it carefully. It’s not a screamer, because it’s JPEG.
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/2814/1155712545403lz7.jpg
MossMoses
August 16th, 2006 at 11:34 am
Given the bear’s diminuitive size and the fact that it is an adult, having entertained with the old rascal porn star Buck Jones for years, it must be a Malayan Sun Bear, although it hasn’t stuck out it’s Gene Simmonsesque tongue yet…
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.treklens.com/images/photos/4603/mg7928777.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.treklens.com/gallery/North_America/United_States/photo124029.htm&h=795&w=530&sz=113&hl=en&start=11&tbnid=6VRy7OR2m63nYM:&tbnh=143&tbnw=95&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmalayan%2Bsun%2Bbear%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN
Anonymous
August 16th, 2006 at 11:40 am
SPOI here, posting from the bunker…
92 – Speaking of Marmaduke, if some twisted little monkey were to photoshop out the bone sitting in the barcalounger, today’s strip would be the most disturbing comic in the history of the printed word.
King Folderol
August 16th, 2006 at 11:48 am
I’d like it if the marriage counselor slit my wrists.
I think it’s weird that Howard’s Fisher brother looks so jovial and happy about his incarcerated brother. People generally tense up and get kind of hostile when the subject of an incarcerated relative comes up.
MossMoses
August 16th, 2006 at 11:49 am
94. “twisted little monkey” – You’re not calling that photoshop hacker person a macaca, are you?
Kenny
August 16th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Josh,
That first paragraph detailing the misery of the Lockhorns mutual disgust for one another and the void that it all happens within was quite moving.
Honestly, you should write a book… Some form of new-existentialism; using comics as the comparison to show how truly empty our individual lives and relationship are.
The Paradox
August 16th, 2006 at 11:51 am
Oh yeah, LuAnn in her jammies…Niiiiiiiiiiice.
AppleGirl
August 16th, 2006 at 11:54 am
Dilbert: Wow.
Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
August 16th, 2006 at 11:57 am
#87: Yes. And you’re correct.
Dingo
August 16th, 2006 at 11:58 am
Thanks, Ellie (#75), for mentioning you couldn’t see the button. I changed the color of it now.
April, that girl be the shit.
mere cog in the machine
August 16th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
#’S 87,98,100: I was trying not to allow myself to think impure thoughts about such an obviously teenage character, but if it’s good enough for you three perverts then it’s good enough for me! I certainly hope I don’t end up on some sort of comic-viewer registry – what would my neighbors and co-workers think?
SmartPeopleOnIce
August 16th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
96 (MM) – More information on twisted little monkeys can be found on the internet.
Oh, and I should have added to my original post::
More heterophylates, mule!
scott
August 16th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Hey! Does anybody else think that Leroy looks EXACTLY like Captain Kanga……uh, never mind.
The Ray
August 16th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Why not just say “I had trouble operating my horseless carriage.”? It’d be just as contemporary/funny.
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Well, at least banana in 84 solved the mystery for me. It was much funnier when I couldn’t figure it out.
Lambnesio
August 16th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
How did he recognize his brother when he hasn’t seen him since “grade school”?
I’m assuming that “grade school” is elementary school, but I guess I’m not really sure what that is.
MotoMike
August 16th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Craigers, if you thought today’s Dilbert was disturbing (and indeed I certainly did), check out Mark Trail, in which a character is seeing going to sleep with his TAME PET BEAR. “Goodnight, old friend”. We hear that “Molly” has been a good companion for many years. That’s okay, then – I, personally would also never sleep with a bear I hadn’t known for quite awhile, but I know that out there in the big wide world, there’s lots of diversity and we need to be careful not to depict sleeping with just any savage wildlife that happens to come along – and, hey, Miss Wolverine, that means you, ‘kay?
Maughta
August 16th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
MT: I have a bad feeling that Molly the giant stuffed bear is going to die. And then I will be sad. She’s the first animal in Mark Trail who hasn’t spoken.
MossMoses
August 16th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
109. Relax Maughta, animals of old rascally friends of Mark Trail don’t die, just random animals in the wild.
mere cog in the machine
August 16th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
#110: I have always found Mark Trail’s name to be a wee bit suspicious. Trail? Oh please! That’s just a leetle too convenient for this fella. Trailenheimer? Trailczkiewicz? Yeah, that’s more like it my rugged little faux-Anglo friend. Sounds to me like someone dropped the ol’ last name like a live hand grenade and elbowed his way into all the country clubs in Bad Serial Comic-land with his shiny suits and his oily hair.
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Perhaps MT is really Al Kinda in ranger gear.
Maggie
August 16th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
I’ve been a long time lurker but felt I had to post today since I just recently learned what “kudzu” was. Not sure if you have posted anything like this before, but apparently kudzu is an invasive plant species and has Japanese origins. I thought it was just a stupid comic, and still can’t figure out why anyone would name this strip after a plant that threatened to destroy plantlife as we know it in the south. Is this strip drawn by a “Yankee” who wanted to see the south destroyed? It sort of makes my head hurt trying to find a connection.
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 16th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
I’m surprised that no one has commented on the fact that the Lockhorns are going to the same marriage counselor that they saw way back in the da in 2004y. Check Josh’s archives for the last “Lockhorns at the counselor” strip and you’ll see it’s the same guy – same bald head, same beard, same helpfully displayed diploma with the same name. Does this make “Dr.Pullman” the first non-Lockhorns character to reappear in the strip?
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 16th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
I’ve seen Dr. Pullman before in the archives. Does this make him the first non-Lochorns reappearing character in the strip?
mere cog in the machine
August 16th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
#114: Dude are you on autopilot?
Anonymous
August 16th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
111 (cog) No one knows Mark Trail’s real name. He got his moniker from some pissed-off immigration worker when he came through the line at Ellis Island wearing shorts and hiking boots.
Kind of like Michael Corleone, Sam Fransico, Amanda Huggenkiss or any of these guys
Hogenmogen
August 16th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
#84 – banana, if you find Dilbert disturbing, then what is your take on this?
#81 – della, you’re going to have to do a lot of explaining on how a literal adaptation of “doing it doggie style” on the comics page can be dismissed as “absurdist humor” or even “humor”.
#90 – Maryann, those of us that know Margo understand that she can think of two or three rude things to say at any given moment. She usually selects the top pick based on how many people she can piss off at any given moment.
Mark Trail: The way that Buck said “Good Night” to the bear – well, that bear’s a goner.
Birdpride
August 16th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
I feel really stupid. After reading the Kudzu, I googled
Jerry Jeff Jeeter. I really wanted to see a preacher with Mickey etched into his podium.
Camster
August 16th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Forget talking bears. In the first panel of MT we appear to have the very first instance of a talking hairpiece.
don hosek
August 16th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
Dick Tracy: As disturbing and surreal as this whole storyline has been, I have to say that the most disturbing thing is the impending kiss between Dick Tracy and Lottie who we only know is female because characters in the strip occasionally refer to her as “she.” Face it Lottie, you ARE ugly and that beauty compact won’t change that.
Anonymous
August 16th, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Kudzu – isn’t there something in the Bible about the wearing of hats in the bathtub?
Something akin to “thou shalt not festoon thy traut lines with carbonaceous finches”.
Joan
August 16th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
120 Camster: Brilliant observation, but since the hairpiece seems to be holding both sides of the conversation, I think it may be two nits or fleas in the hairpiece having a conversation.
telly belly
August 16th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
My confession –
I am sexually attracted to the preacher in the bathtub.
There, now I said it.
What are you looking at? Robert Crumb admitted to being sexually attrached to Bugs Bunny.
telly belly
August 16th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
My confession –
I am sexually attracted to the preacher in the bathtub.
There, now I said it.
What are you looking at? Robert Crumb admitted to being sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny.
sj
August 16th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
I guess I’m in the minority, but I thought today’s Dilbert was hilarious. Guess I’m just sick and twisted and appreciate weird puns.
mere cog in the machine
August 16th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
#122: I think that may have been from ‘The Compleat Angler’.
Meggie
August 16th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Maybe it’s just me, but the old “I-can’t-even-program-a-VCR-joke has gone on long enough. It’s isn’t funny anymore. Wait, it never was funny.
>_
della
August 16th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
Hogen, if you want to interpret that drawing as bestiality, you won’t get a defense from me. I see it more as a typical ballard streeter going in a strange direction with a fairly normal activity–in this case, hugging a dog (not “hugging” it, if you know what I mean). Ballard Street is home to people with issues, but I don’t think they are the kinds of issues that lead to criminal charges.
I don’t mean to discourage this sort of reading-more-into-the-comics-than-was-intended. It’s just that sort of thing that allows us curmudgeonites to get some enjoyment from the awfulness that reigns in today’s comics pages. But, in this case, I happen to like the comic without needing to provide my own jokes. Not every day (and not today), but more often than most.
Wayne
August 16th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
#107: “Grade school” must be a regionalism. I used it just the other day referring so someone I’ve known since second grade. Could H&J be set on Long Island?
Jonathan
August 16th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
#82 tefflan, blame the time zone difference… If you consider that I’m 5-12 hours ahead of you, then technically I posted my comment after you so I should be apologising.
So sorry, mate! I won’t do it again :-)
philip
August 16th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Adding an extra layer of sad desperation to the Kudzu strip is the fact the punchline reads “I had trouble programming my VCR.” It’s as if the writer is admitting his poverty of ideas by acknowledging that the VCR “joke” is older than Jack Elrod.
Proteus
August 16th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Another Mary Worth prediction. Why did they drag us out to the hospital? One, so that Mary could think fondly of Jeff, which she hardly ever does when he’s in town. Two, so that we could get plats about “helpers” and how much the world needs compassion and healing. Folks, it won’t take her long to draw the line back to her pathetic stalker friend. She’s going to lurv him into goodness with the power of her sparkling clean white soul.
This means no more bow ties, I’m afraid.
And when Jeff comes home he and Mary will sit on the sofa and plat about how there’s different kinds of healing and that it takes all kinds of healers. And before he goes away, Aldo will leave her one or more roses. White ones, or I’ll eat my computer monitor.
MossMoses
August 16th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Proteus – That seems like a solid prediction but Stalkerado will be waiting for her when she gets back to Charterstone if he’s not already in the back seat of her car. Predicting Mary Worth will spew platitudes is like predicting Old Faithful Geyser will erupt. Count on it.
NJP
August 16th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
I have a new theory about TDIET. I’m thinking that maybe, it was once so popular, they got hundreds of thousands of submissions. And Al Scaduto has been faithfully working through them one at a time. He’s probably hit the late 1950s in the submission backlog, so anything that’s topical today will have to be rendered in about 2057 by the Scadutobot mark IV.
Bill Peschel
August 16th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Having known Doug Marlette since he was editorial cartoonist for the Charlotte Observer in the mid-70s, I can comfortably say that he’s a good-old-boy edumacated Sutherner.
What’s depressing about “Kudzu” is that at one time it was amusing, and Doug was a fabulous editorial cartoonist. His cartoons would elicit howls of outrage for his daring content that Garry Trudeau only dreams of nowadays.
I’m not sure what happened to him.
Marmaduke: LOVE the Photoshop!
Foob animation: Why aren’t you working for Lynn? The animation of her lifting the shovel is something I’d see on their site?
ohgrl
August 16th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
94/SPOI: Joe Mathlete took it there without the use of Photoshop.
MW: At first, this storyline seemed an abrupt departure from Stalkeroo, but in today’s strip, Mary vows to be more compassionate. You know what that means…pity fuck for Aldo!
Disembodied Brain in a Fluid-filled Jar
August 16th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
Sorry about the 800 million Lockhorns posts. When they didn’t show up immediately, I thought they didn’t take and I was so desperate to share this oh-so-vital observation about the Lockhorniverse…
Jeddy
August 16th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
You reckon Luann wears a thong? I’d say that Toni Daytona does, but she probably goes commando.
I’m certain that Dirk the Jerk goes commando.
Marc
August 16th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
135 – many of us have that theory too! Since when do people ask mailmen for directions? Google Maps, and navigation systems are around today….so you are correct, in 2057 when cars are programmed to actually drive you to the destination we’ll be reading about when we had to actually plug in the info and drive there. Manual Driving was made obsolete when our brains became Bluetooth compatible in 2020.
Rob
August 16th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
OK, because I don’t read it regularly, I have just finished 2 weeks of 9 Chickweed Lane and several weeks worth of Pluggers. (No, actually I’m not into S&M) First, with 9 Chickwood, can anyone tell me just what the heck is up with that strip? Second, Pluggers- all I can say is “AAARGH!” Patterson style.
don hosek
August 16th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
9CW has been on a really long, often digressive story about a nun and priest in love (but in a chaste wholesome kind of way). And there’s something about all life on earth coming to an end because of an asteroid. Seriously. You kinda need to have read the last 3 months to have any clue at all about this one.
For me 9CW jumped the shark when the kids graduated high school and moved to NYC.
Rob
August 16th, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Thanks for explaining. What happens when the countdown is over and we are still here? Does the comic end? If so, that would be pretty self-aggrandizing,eh?
Craigers
August 16th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
I think maybe the reason I can’t abide Kudzu is that I can see the talent going to waste. The funny thing is, there is great potential in it. But the product is so awful – crushingly silly jokes and endless repetition of the same themes.
I will say one thing for Marlette. He does some of the very best lettering in the business. It’s very clear and easy to read, but it’s funky and unique at the same time and endearingly sloppy once in a while to boot.
Monkey's Paw
August 16th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
#141,142 In 9CW the character just said that an asteroid was going to hit the earth, the destruction of the world was implied but not said. Knowing the character who said that I’m gonna bet that its a really small asteroid and life goes on with the priest and ex-nun finally having made a decision about their lives. Actually if you’ve been following the comic for the months that this story line has been going on it makes a pretty ingenious way to end it.
majolo
August 16th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Sorry to see I’m the first to comment on GT: I love it! Yeah, all we need is a comedy routine to loosen up our star… and what better way to loosen up a teenage girl than comparing her to a hippo! And the look on Keri’s face… “Who are these people?!”
Marc
August 16th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
a3g – “There’s a man in the vestebule!” Apparently Luann is putting her “word-a-day” tear-off calendar to use.
SF: Yes! So funny! The strip is coming out of its summer lull (sp?)
FW: Oh man, there’s nothing I love more than seeing chemo patients getting shots in their stomach first thing in the morning..or at all. Please Batiuk? Ayers? Whatever..please don’t draw every aspect of Cancer.
MW: Yes!! Stalkeraldo is back at Charterstone waiting for Mary! This is the absolute best Birthday gift ever! Thank you! Mary gon’ get followed into her apartment!
Marc
August 16th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Is there an hour delay? It should show up as today, 8/17/06….
jailbird
August 17th, 2006 at 12:07 am
Let’s play a little game. What will happen next with Mary and Aldo?
I’m going to say that Mary will firmly tell him again that she has a fella and then Aldo will get those dewey weepy eyes again and she’ll feel sorry for him, and invite him in for some tuna casserole.
marvella
August 17th, 2006 at 1:18 am
wow, maybe PBS isn’t making up that “comics must age” thing. Marvin just shot forward forty years.
Mibbitmaker
August 17th, 2006 at 1:44 am
#36: FW: Jeez, I wasn’t far off, was I?
#41: I was thinking it wasn’t Satan when I typed it; just decided, what the hell, close enough for snark ;o)
Mibbitmaker
August 17th, 2006 at 2:05 am
8/17:
A3G: Wow, a head bobble AND a head swivel! Extra points for Alan. But… LuAnn the empty-headed? Coming up with “vestibule”?? It’s like Dubya getting a foreign leader’s name right. Fwiw, I still remember that being a vocabulary word in high school.
SF: Panel two: Don’tcha just love the brilliant facial expressions in this strip, like Sally’s here? Wow, what range! I guess she only knows “sly”, but not yellingly pissed off.
(DT)GT: In the last panel, we’re regaled with how “Mallard Fillmore” would be just as crummy without the politics.
Spiderman: Out of context, the “you’re an idiot!” is spot on for Spidey.
Yesterday’s GF: I didn’t notice this until well after I read it, but Conley deftly snuck in a Beatles reference in the last panel: “It was written by a doctor, Robert!” Dr. Robert being a song on “Revolver”. Well played.
Dub Not Dubya
August 17th, 2006 at 3:24 am
Thursday’s Mary Worth:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060817&name=Mary_Worth
Welllll….it was just begging to have a word changed, so I obliged:
http://members.cox.net/blogpicsaddy/pushmary.gif
I think this one should have a spew alert, so be warned…
ben
August 17th, 2006 at 3:51 am
Captain Stalker looks like he Aldo be a Wallaby.
NightRaven
August 17th, 2006 at 5:00 am
Birdpride said:
“I feel really stupid. After reading the Kudzu, I googled Jerry Jeff Jeeter. I really wanted to see a preacher with Mickey etched into his podium.”
Try “Jerry J Jeter”, this gives up the adress of someone at the Calvary Baptist Church, or simply “Jerry Jeeter”, among several unrelated hits, I found this quote:
“One Klansman gave the Cadle Tabernacle Church in Indianapolis six hundred dollars, and Reverend Jerry Jeeter took in one hundred dollars of Klan money”
Could the Kudzu-strip actually be a concealed criticizm of Klan activity in the Indianapolis churches. (Or an endorsement ? Mr. Jeeter was supposed to very “techno-savy” )
- NightRaven
smacky
August 17th, 2006 at 6:49 am
Today’s Mark Trail: You’re supposed to think the bear is spooked by the storm, but he’s just grabbing the wheel because he wants to drive. I see a truck flip in their future.
parsleyisn'tfood
August 17th, 2006 at 7:15 am
Yay! Aldo’s back! Mary’s side trip to the hospital for spiritual cleansing was all in vain. When you see someone you’d rather avoid, what do you normally do? You think to yourself “Oh, crap…” or maybe you mutter it under your breath. Well, Mary’s past that point. She’s five feet from the guy and yells OH NO! Any pretense of politeness is out the window now. It’s on, Aldo. It’s on!
Len
August 17th, 2006 at 7:21 am
YES! A few days delayed, Lio invents a device to eradicate cell phone abuse.
Ironically, the ad on the link is to get comics sent to your cell phone!
http://www.gocomics.com/lio/2006/08/14/
Marion Delgado
August 17th, 2006 at 7:29 am
For those who wondered why Les teaches school if he hates kids. Well, his trim at home tends to get these CANCER things of hers all the time and then she won’t give it up, so I guess he doesn’t hate YOUNG LADIES and he doesn’t mind teaching them things. Don’t be so judgemental – he saved her when she was a godless teen slut. All the other teachers do it.
Wallybean
August 17th, 2006 at 7:33 am
I haven’t read FW in years so excuse my dumb question: but who are the heroin addicts in todays’s strip?
Brian Schlosser
August 17th, 2006 at 7:35 am
“Oh no! Aldo!” could be the title of the next They Might Be Giants album.
Harry Worth
August 17th, 2006 at 7:37 am
Alpo Keptfresh is making a grab for Mary’s tits today! And Mary is generous, but this is too much.
EZ_e
August 17th, 2006 at 7:58 am
I think the problem with Mary is mixed signals – she’s clearly smiling in the last panel. “Whyizzit?”
and yeah, where exactly is Aldo’s left hand? Is Mary’s ‘generosity’ letting him cop a little feel?
Craigers
August 17th, 2006 at 8:22 am
You got your sarcasm in my snark! You spewed your snark all over my sarcasm! Here’s The Snarcasm for 8/17…
9CL : That screen-tone looks really nice as a cloth pattern on the suit. Nice touch. The dress… um… not so much.
A3G : Are those wacky wenches on A3G monkeying with spacetime again? Luann is “leaving” for the park, but she’s going from the outside of the building to the inside, as she’s just about to enter the vestibule from the street. Also, she appears to be walking backwards.
B.C. : I never realized the similarities between Curls and Moe Syszlak before, and it’s most pleasing to have that realization to distract me from a homicidally awful gag.
Baldo : …and suddenly, the disciple was enlightened…
Ballard Street : I know that this is just a very badly (nay, incompetently) drawn profile, but it pleases me to imagine instead that it is a face-front drawing of Cubism Man.
Bizarro : [whine]Remember when Piraro wasn’t an editorial cartoonist? Those were fun.[/whine]
Crankshaft : Sounds like somebody has a case of the needs-to-be-given-the-ream-treatment-by-Phil-from-Dilbert. I am hoping, though, that Miserable Bastard Crankshaft will precipitate an all-out, eye-gouging brawl at the St. Spires Chicken Dinner.
Curtis : Is he wearing a boot on his head?
DtM : Ha ha ha ha ha [gunshot].
GA : Looks like Slim’s coppin’ a little feel in panel 3, but Clovia’s having none of it.
Death to GT : Jesus God, that gymnast looks like Rick Fox, right down to the too-short jheri curls.
Luann : To reprise the earlier conversation, it’s definitely commando at both ends. No telltale double strap, and the waistband of a thong would be visible at her sides just above those shorts.
MF : I hear the crappy comic tradition is back too. Or rather, in MF’s case, it never left.
MT : Molly’s coppin’ a feel too. Everyone’s frisky in the funnies today!
Marvin : The joke’s pathetic, sure, but I want to know where I can get one of those electric-blue polka-dot suits. Maybe I just need a regular electric blue suit, a spare couple of hours, and $125 worth of Screen-Tone.
MW : Mary’s emitting gamma rays again.
Egg Slurp : I thought only Canadians liked beer and donuts.
RM : It’s all yours, Ringo.
BigJoe
August 17th, 2006 at 8:30 am
SM: The last panel is quality writing at its finest.
“You’re an idiot!”
“Sticks ‘n’ stones’ll break my bones–!”
That dialog is pure gold!
bisbane
August 17th, 2006 at 8:47 am
Zits 8/17: pannel #1–SIX fingers on each hand? C’mon…maybe I’m old fashioned, but aren’t cartoon people supposed to have 4 fingers on each hand?? Certainly we wouldn’t need more than 5 drawn in for the sake of realism…
Maybe its to show that “kids today are using their fingers constantly on pdas, computers, phones, etc.” and young people have somehow evolved into more digits???
Treadwell
August 17th, 2006 at 8:59 am
Luann’s jams: I dunno, those bottoms look a lot like kulats, and no one has ever looked good in those.
If they were full length, or replaced entirely with panties, then Oh, YEAH!
Lisa
August 17th, 2006 at 9:20 am
Herb and Jamaal:
I was almost fooled by the pony tail, dark glasses and fake moustache, but it was the girly sandals and wire tap on her back in panel three that gave it all away. That’s not the brother of Howard Fisher, that’s Amy Fisher, aka Long Island Lolita, and she’s working government surveillance for the prison system as part of her plea deal.
SmartPeopleOnIce
August 17th, 2006 at 9:57 am
#148 (jailbird)
Let’s play a little game. What will happen next with Mary and Aldo?
Six words: WITSEC (well, actually one word I guess. Well, not one word, more of an abbreviation. Maybe not so much of an abbreviation as an acronym. Technically, not a true acronym, of course. Oh, fuck it, it’s a haiku)
Keats Heart Loren
August 20th, 2006 at 10:34 pm
Looks like someone worked Dr. Pullman’s cranium over with a 2 x 4.