The Comics Curmudgeon

72 responses to “Bear in peril = “bearil?””

1. dan b
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

   so comics won’t show up on Firefox when i go to the Chronicle website – something like “no referral”? i think someone else went through this recently. any tips?

2. pelagius
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

   GT: Oh man, Scarface is a fluffer!

   MT: Rainy night, twisty mountain road, nervous BEAR IN THE FRONT SEAT. Somehow, I smell danger.

3. EZ_e
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

   Gil Thorp has become Dada. I can’t make any sense of what’s going on in those three panels. The two girls in the last panel are like wavy mirror images of each other, or something. surreal.

   Dilbert is disturbing, I don’t care what anyone says – the hand on the breast, the “I’m sorry but not really sorry- I think you wanted it” tone, the tail draped over the victim…like something out of that prison show “Oz”

4. Charles Brubaker
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

   Goddamn…”Dilbert” is pretty edgy lately. First, Scott used the word “retarded”, then he drew a devil raping a worker.

   What’s next? Characters nude and uncensored? (well, Rat said in one “Pearls Before Swine” strip that Dilbert is a stud…after seeing him in a nude party)

5. Smitty Q. Smedlap
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:24 am [Reply]

   Although it’s been said many times, many ways — Death to Gil Thorp.

   Seriously. Could there be one person on this planet who enjoys that on a non-ironic level? Other than the trained seals who write/draw it, I mean.

6. Bitter Scribe
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:24 am [Reply]

   One thing that’s kind of amusing about the Dilbert strip: There’s a great site called workorspoon.com where people post bitch stories about work. Its name refers to being in the situation where going to work would be as painful as gouging out your own eyes with a spoon.

   Anyway, the site’s founder, who goes by SpoonMan, saw the Dilbert strip and freaked out. He didn’t know about Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, and he wondered whether Scott Adams was paying some kind of weird homage to his site.

7. Perry
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

   What’s the deal with todays FBoFW? Is she saying that women are weak? A 40lb calf is not that heavy.

8. Dave
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:37 am [Reply]

   Even if he is just spooning him. The strip is awfully creepy. Probably because of the unattractive, do not touch me vibe that all Dilbert characters seem to have, even the ones drawn as attractive. (Not attractively drawn, but drawn in Adams’ shorthand for attractive. You know what I mean.) Seriously. No one in the Dilbert universe should ever be spooning. or hugging. or doing anything other than drinking coffee and bitching.

9. L Ron Hubbub
   August 17th, 2006 at 9:37 am [Reply]

   Dan B: any tips?

   Yeah. Don’t use Firefox.

10. Ellie
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    #7 — I thought the same thing. It just struck me as an odd thing to say.

    Perhaps the cousin is coming down with some sort of rare disease that Lynn can educate us about.

11. Dave the Attorney
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    “Yeah. Don’t use Firefox.”

    But what if I don’t like viruses and security vulnerabilities?

12. cheech wizard
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MT- I wouldn’t say Molly’s scared of the thunderstorms – looks more like they get her excited. And despite his protestations, you can tell from the smile on his face that Buck likes it.

    More information on bestiality can be found on the Internet.

13. Satchmo
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Re: Mark Trail – Does anyone else find it odd, or even rude that wavy haired blonde guy answers his own questions, and then steals baldy’s shirt?

14. dan b
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    #9: Nothing shows up in Explorer either.

15. yellojkt
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Molly looks just like Dancing Bear from….

    wait for it…..

    Captain Kangaroo

16. Audient
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    I thought Dilbert had lost its edge long ago, but I laughed out loud at the spooning joke. Creepy? Sure. And funny.

17. cheech wizard
    August 17th, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Yow. Archbishop Jughead is bearing a ton of Moldavian religious symbols today. Perhaps Craigers can enlighten us as to their meaning later on.

18. Craigers
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Today’s Archie exegesis is a doozy. I’m still trying to work out the symbology of the tennis racket… be back later…

19. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Total Aldo Kelrast coverage:

    http://tinyurl.com/ftx6h

    The author speaks:

    “Q: What happens at the end of this story line?

    “A: It’s going to be something very dramatic. Then that will lead to something else very dramatic. I don’t know if it will delight fans. I think it will hold their interest. They’ll see what character flaws can lead to.

    “Q: Why does Aldo look like Captain Kangaroo?

    “A: It contrasts with his character flaws. Captain Kangaroo is benign and congenial, yet this character has real flaws. People can relate to that. Everyone has real character flaws.”

    etc.

20. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Seriously, y’all are perverts.

    Cragers TDIET interpretation of this from yesterday (comment #69, appropriately enough) was the most gosh-darned funniest thing I read here all week.

    Oh, and doesn’t that bear guy in Mark Trail know what happened to the last showbusiness personality who got intimate with a powerful oversized wild carnivore that was part of his act?

    That’s right: He turned gay.

21. bear hater
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    WARNING! There are no truly tame bears!!!

22. bootsybooks
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Hey Josh. Got a question. Where is a bear’s enclosure? I saw one shot in the ass, but I never saw one shot in his enclosure. Just wondering.

    More information on bears’ enclosures can be found on the internet.

    Yes, Molly is in danger. I hope crazy ass-shot grizzly comes to her rescue when the poachers strike.

23. bootsybooks
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    With the grizzly shouting “What the…! Watch out!” since he can talk.

24. fuzzmaster
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    #7: I believe FBofW is testing out an alternative to ending the strip outright: merge it into another strip. Today’s test: Mark Trail.

25. Hogenmogen
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Yesterday’s Dilbert: Yeah, I got the joke from the first. My wife and I refer to that position as “spooning”, and so I know it when I see it. I thought everyone else knew it and were merely making fun of the strip (which somehow seemed weak for Dilbert standards) with the alternative scenario.

    GT: So, do any of you have any nails?
    “NO!”
    Would it be funny if I were Mallard Fillmore? I didn’t think so.

    Speaking of Mallard: Bash on generic singer-songwriters. Go ahead. Listen to Brittney, Christina, N’Stync and all the other battery operated remote controlled talking dolls out there. Don’t listen to Keith Urban who is a singer/songwriter, because he obviously sucks. Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen are singer/songwriters and I can’t think of any song they did being self-indulgent crap. The later years for both artists turned out a variety of crap, but not really self-indulgent. Tinsley is just so far off the mark that I can’t help but bash his sycophant-to-the-right attitude.

    Dickhead Tracy reveals that the whole plot was all a ruse set up by the FBI. I still don’t get it. Lottie was hanging out with Al-Kinda, the only terrrorist that they got in the end. Why didn’t she just shoot him without going through all the escapades involving nearly getting Dick Tracy killed twice and the Capital Dome blown to smithereens? Answer: Because there would be no story.
    My response: Characters doing things without logical explanation may constitute a “story”, but not a very good one.

    Funky: Tomorrow’s strip:
    Panel 1: She’s rolling a doobie. “It would be nice to get back to the day when ‘pot’ meant cooking some mac & cheese.”
    Panel 2: Dazed look on her face: “It also would be nice to get back to the day when ‘high’ meant we were on the top floor of a skyscraper.”
    Saturday’s strip:
    Panel 1: “Hey I have cancer!”
    Panel 2: “Cancer? You have cancer?”
    Panel 3: “Cancer! I have it! I have CANCER!”

    Yesterday’s Dennis shows that he’s not much of a “menace” after all. Go ask your mom if you can be a bad boy. Just don’t go down to tha hood, y’all. Today’s Dennis only shows that the ghost of Hank Ketcham can’t tell the difference between a joke and a really lame, groan-worthy pun.

    I hate TDIET 99 and 44/100ths percent of the time. But from the credit-where-credit-is-due dept. I present the first slightly funny TDIET since 1958!

26. trubbaman
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    #1: I had your problem, too. it has to do with norton internet security settings. you have to go in and give the site permission to download or something like that. if you don’t have norton, I don’t know what the problem is.

    re: Dilbert–ohhhh, spooning–now I get it!

27. Deckard Canine
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    #4 – Years ago, Alice in “Dilbert” shouted, “#@$&-ing cat!” It struck me that the only reason to include the “-ing” was to signal to the savvy readers exactly what swear word was said, and the only reason to do that was to be provocative. Maybe Scott Adams is desperate to maintain attention, or maybe he considers it his duty as a still-rather-popular cartoonist to push the limits.

    #7 – I think the Canadian writers just messed up in their conversion from kilograms. Not only is Laura weak, but that lamb is about half the average birth weight.

    #13 – Thanks for pointing that out!

    #19 – So the artist made him look like Bob Keeshan on purpose? Wow.

28. MrP
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Wow. For once, Dilbert is actually funny in that absurd way it used to be before it became the comic about how bosses suck and offices are boring.

29. Joan
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    I know it’s been said before, but what the hell planet are the GilThorpians from? His neck has an arm-sized bluge going from the back of his head to the front of his chest on his right side, and his cheek bones look like they’re part of an exoskeleton.

30. Mountain Mama
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Y’know, I don’t hate FBOFW as much as most of you, but today’s just made me go, “Huh?”.

    The last line makes absolutely no sense at all. Why would she feel the need to mention how much the calf weighs to the VET? The vet knows the average weight of newborn calves.

    It’s just the writer being didactic with absolutely no attempt at humor and that’s just wrong. It’s the comics!

    And that Mark Trail is just awful. Why even draw the other person if he’s not saying anything?!

    And yes, now, I too must read Mary Worth everyday. I hate myself.

31. BigJoe
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    25 – In regards to TDIET, you must be a fan of Kenny Bania.

    Jerry: “Grocery carts with one bad wheel?”
    George: “(snicker) That happens to me every time.”
    Jerry: “You’re a Bania fan!”
    George: “I like jokes where you don’t have to think too much.”

32. derbs
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Re: #25 –

    Hey Hogenmogen — the explanation for that “funny” TDIET could lie in the fact that it was submitted by someone from San Francisco.

    Grocery carts only rarely pull that split personality trick here in the midwest — much less every time.

33. braini-eek
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    I think I’m going to use that phrase in any and all conversations from now on. For example:

    Me: Hey Steve, how ya doing?
    Steve: Man, my grandma died last night. I have to go back home for the funeral on Friday.
    Me: I want you to get up there when its your turn and fly like a hippo!

    or

    Me: Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. We’re curently cruising at an altitude of 35000 feet and it looks like we are right on time for the 7:05 arrival into Denver. And I just want you to know, that I want you to get up there when its your turn and fly like a hippo!

    or

    Waitress: HI! I’m Kim, and I’ll be your server today! Our soup of the day is Potato-Leek! And our fresh catch is Tilapia! Would you like to start out with a drink this evening?
    Me: Actually, I want you to get up there when its your turn and fly like a hippo! That sounds delicious!

34. Wile E. C.
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Add Gentry from Montgomery Gentry to the “dead to me” list with Ted Nugent. Hey, are Molly and Jack spooning? If so, this post would have more coherence. Why did those guys trade shirts, anyway?

35. ghastlymess
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Well, you folks all know the duck joke, right? Right??

    It’s seriously the oldest joke in the world. I think the gymnasts have been doing some community service for Scaduto in the “Wha wha, Howzzat I’m so dang old?!” nursing home. With “Kath Etter” the orderly.

    I just want to make sure y’all read Achewood, though I’m sure you all do.

    See, in the duck joke this duck goes to a pharmacy and asks for beer constantly until the pharmacist says “You ask for a beer one more time, I’m gonna nail your Filmore Feet to the floor!” and the duck says, “Ok. Well, do you have any nails?” And the pharmacist says NO! And the duck says, “ok. So you got any beer?”

36. lushj
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Whenever I see humans and bears next to each other, I just think og Grizzly Man.

    And shooting a bear in a pen and passing it off as shot in the wild? That’s like having your cake and making it out of cocaine too!

37. dan b
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Thanks Trubbaman. Now i can return to wallowing in the world of crap we call the daily comics.

38. mere cog in the machine
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    I too have a fondness for Molly the bear. However I have always been protective toward animals both in the comics and real life, whereas with children and old people….well let’s just say I still find the wheelchair scene from ‘Kiss of Death’ screamingly funny while I’ve always found Anne Frank to be a tedious, whining bore.

    FOOB: Looks like Lynn Johnston is trying to get all ‘All Creatures Great and Small’ on us. Forget about it, Witch of the Great White North. Herriot did it better than your pathetic screed of a strip can ever hope to. And English charm will always best Canadian dull-wittedness.

39. sally
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Did the two studmuffins in Mark Trail swap shirts with each other before they parted ways?

40. Jason
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Yey!! Aldo is back today! And Mary is totally freaking out….

41. blacknosugar
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    maybe she meant “dance like a hippo”? or would Disney sue?

    Can we get “fly like a hippo” t-shirts?

42. pelagius
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    That Mary Worth interview is priceless! But I call shenanigans on this comment from the artist:

    “Q: How come we almost never see Mary below the waist? Is there a rule?

    A: There’s a reason for that. Years ago, the comic strips were much larger. But the strips have gotten smaller and smaller. I wish I could draw this the way I used to draw Flash Gordon and Batman, have full figures all over the place. But the strips are too tiny.”

    Just take a look at Zippy or Get Fuzzy, amongst others, for creative use of limited panel space.

43. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    #42 (pelagius)

    Q: How come we almost never see Mary below the waist?

    Why would ANYONE ask that question? Ick.

44. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Hogenmogen. Normally, I enjoy heaping scorn on TDIET but today’s installment about the shopping carts…heh heh…well, that’s something that really does seem to happen every…
    (POOF)
    Hey, where did I get this sweater vest?
    (POOF)
    Wait, whyizzit I have a girlfriend named Catastra?
    (POOF)
    Ook-ook-ooka?
    (POOF)
    Oh yeah!

45. Ned Ryerson
    August 17th, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Oh STFU, Bruce Tinsley. What’s the matter, did a “singer-songwriter” beat you up and take your lunch money?

46. bitsey
    August 17th, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    #21 -Bear hater — I remember seeing that video on TV; frightening, yes, but you can’t really blame the bear for acting the way he did what with being surrounded by people and cameras. So please don’t hate the bear.

47. Woodrowfan
    August 17th, 2006 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    I want to hear more about insane conspiracy theories, especially the one tying Gil Thorp to 9-11 and the list of all the people with ties to Mary Worth who have died under suspicious circumstances….!

48. TheMagicMel
    August 17th, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    So, today’s Arlo & Janis is about bird shit. Choice.

    #30: I thought exactly the same thing: why would the chick announce the weight of the calf? Maybe if Lynn drew the last panel with the aunt still narrating to April that ‘a calf could weigh as much as blah blah blah’ it would make a LITTLE more sense. As stands? Crap. Crap garnished with a little bit of drivel.

49. compass rose
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    #14, 26 The chronicle comics site gives a nice how-to that helped me with that problem (which was about the firewall, not the browser)http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics/referer.html

50. Mibbitmaker
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I dunno, Josh; Col. Potter didn’t think discussing spooning was dignified in a newsreel, so it’s gotta be a leeeetle bit perverse. Then again, he never met Trapper John MacIntyre!

    Oh, btw, did anyone notice that Aldo Kelrast looks like Capt. Kangaroo according to MW’s creators? And that his name is an anagram for “Oh my God, they really did mean to draw him like that! Wow!”?

51. Jonathan
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    How is it that the coach is holding her hand on completely the wrong side of her mouth if she wants to be conspiratorial?

52. mere cog in the machine
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    #51: That is yet another manifestation of the essential question posed by ‘Gil Thorpe’. Namely, are the artists truly that dumb, careless, and inattentive to just that sort of detail? Or do they simply draw these inane, irritating faux-pas knowing full well that they are tormenting innocent posters such as ourselves? I have never been able to solve this distressing conundrum.

53. BEG
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    OK, I’m having Venture Brothers flashbacks* after seeing that Mark Trail above. Seriously, what is up with that strip? I mean, MW and A3G are like train wreck soap operas so it’s fun, but MT and GT are … are … help me out here, I need a suitably bland adjective here …

    *you know, “Steve Summers” and Sasquatch…

54. BEG
    August 17th, 2006 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Oh…and is the guy in the first panel of MT talking to himself or what? Both the balloons point to the same guy in that panel…???

55. blacknosugar
    August 17th, 2006 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    More on “flying like a hippo”…

    Weird.

56. Mushuweasel
    August 17th, 2006 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one holding out hope for super limber girl-gymnast-on-girl-gymnast action? What better way to keep Kerri “loose”…

57. TheMagicMel
    August 17th, 2006 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    BEG, you ROCK. I totally heart Venture Brothers.

    Go team Venture!!!

58. Hogenmogen
    August 17th, 2006 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    I love Tom the Dancing Bug, but this week, I was kinda creeped out by all those panels of the same picture of the same expression of Mel Gibson’s face in all those panels.

59. bootsybooks
    August 17th, 2006 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #56, sure who wouldn’t want to see limber nubile girl gymnasts getting it on? But you’d have to go someplace FAR FAR away from gil thorpville to catch that.

    Those supposed “girls” look like Yetis.

    I’d like to apologize to any Yetis out there who were offended by that remark.

60. Colleen
    August 17th, 2006 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    #36 – That was my very first thought as well. That guy was messed up.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKfWippJeHM link to the trailer, if anyone is interested

61. anonymous
    August 17th, 2006 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    I regret I have been reading the comic pages for 5 decades and Dilbert had me stumped until just now. Thanks, Josh!

62. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    The addition of two tiny, strategically placed, parallel lines would take Dilbert in a direction that mainstream comics have never gone before.

63. Rusty
    August 17th, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    I would just like to add that that dumbass country singer shooting a caged bear named Cubby is the world’s biggest needledick. That is all.

64. mumbles
    August 17th, 2006 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Another detail from that newspaper story on Mary Worth is that this storyline is going on for 60 days. We got two more months of the Captain.

65. TeeFreak.com
    August 18th, 2006 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Hey thanks guys for checking out my IM FLYING HIPPO shirts… make sure you also take a look at my new humor tees. We got bottles on this mother fuckin’ plane! All the great gear and more to come. Are You A Freak?

66. aerosquid
    August 18th, 2006 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    ‘I want to fly like a hippo….to the sea….fly like a hippo let my spirit carry me….’

67. cuccubear
    August 18th, 2006 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Re: Dilbert devil spooning episode – Equally unsettling was Kudzu’s preacher showering after he “googled” himself. I’m trying to steer my brain clear of the gutter, but when a wonderful euphemism emerges from an otherwise mundane cartoon, I could not resist pointing it out!

68. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2006 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    I fucking hate Mallard Fillmore.

69. Corinne
    August 18th, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    The Mark Trail-bear-thing reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they showed the talk show “Gentle Ben” – basically a bear as a talk show host with a microphone strapped on his head. In the middle of the show Gentle Ben went for the food table, the trainer ran up to him, “No, Ben, No” and was easily wacked aside by the bear. Then gentle ben went on a rampage and the show cut to technical difficulties.

70. camel
    August 18th, 2006 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    I just gotta say … if they’d been working on that birth for a few hours (cows always chose 11pm to drop their calves when I was a cowboy – thanks, maam) and were all slimey and wet and cold and dirty and exhausted …. 40 lbs would be HEA-VY! And depending on the cow, that isn’t too low. For a hefty mass-produced dairy cow or feed-lot beef cow, yes, low. But a small farm like that, maybe doing organic, using the smaller cow breed – not too bad. A smaller Highland cow giving a 40 pounder wouldn’t be too bad – probably a difficult birth, maybe early, but shouldn’t be a problem getting to maturity. Oh lord. The nightmares of over-night-cow-birthing sessions are coming back to me.

71. Lenoxus
    August 19th, 2006 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    So…. what exactly would the devil-guy do with the spoon? Just hold it when the chance for a disturbing pun comes up? Might he by any chance also be found, I dunno, carrying around a pair of pants, then telling someone “I don’t want to have to use these pants,” and then pantsing him?

72. Notebooked
    December 21st, 2010 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Forget Keri being the pretty one — only in the world of Gil Thorp is Riya the unattractive one.

    Yes, I know scars are theoretically a turn-off, but I’m sure that there is a huge group of people who are okay with scars, and a smaller group of people who think that they’re attractive and/or badass.

All the cool kids…

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