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Tuesday quickies

Gil Thorp, 9/14/10

“But he’d fight a circle saw for you! In fact, he already fought one for me — you can tell because his arms have been sliced off at the elbows.”

Later, Gil and Mimi nuzzle at home, enjoying the extra musical clarity they get sitting eight inches away from the speakers on their sweet-ass vertical CD player.

Apartment 3-G, 9/14/10

Tommie is really benefitting from the latest innovation in hairstyling: the so-called “part.”

268 responses to “Tuesday quickies”

  1. Buchholz Surfer
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Murder them Dirk! Murder them all!

  2. DOlz
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    It looks like Tommie has joined the “I Dressed In The Dark” cult.

  3. JC Lisbon
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I’m glad to see they had so little trouble assimilating Tommie into the collective.

  4. Gnoll
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    This just goes to show you–there is nothing you can do to help Tommie look better. The person in charge of her makeover took one look at her, vaguely straightened her hair then sent her out to the stage while hanging their head in defeat.

  5. AndyL
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    So the other two girls got their appearance completely re-vamped by this make-over, but Tommy just got her hair combed. That sounds about right for this comic.

  6. britbike
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    What color is Tommie’s hair supposed to be? The Kats are sort of taupe . . .

  7. Patrick
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    So to modernize Tommie, they dressed her in a nightie from a Doris Day movie?

  8. zenvelo
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Frank’s “Game Park” is stocked with animals from the Island of Dr. Moreau- where else would that bunny/beagle hybrid come from?

  9. Das Storminator
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    I’d totally do the new Tommie. I may have a problem.

  10. Oavis
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    A circle saw? So exhausted from extensive mind-coaching was Gil that he couldn’t muster the effort to add the “ular” to the end of that word.

  11. Oavis
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Tommie feels “brand new” because she’s been dressed like a newborn baby.

  12. James D.
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MT: And by “talking to him,” I mean punch him in the face. Got it? Also, kudos to the squirrel for doing his best to avoid the banal conversation around him.

  13. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Wasn’t it Bill Ritter who fought the saw and the saw won?

  14. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Looks like Mimi had a productive summer, what with building that Interocitor.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Patrick (#7): Not to mention a hairstyle that Twiggy and Mia Farrow wore in 1967.

    S-M: “Mr. S.” twice? They both cheating on their spouses? SWIDT (See What I Did There)?

    BBailey: Not even half funny.

    Blondie: “The weather — fair and balanced!”

    FC: “Mind your own business, Wilbur!” (okay, that was very wrong!)

    FW: Pathetic and a hypocrite. Way to go, Cayla! (thumbs up)

    JP: I think that’s the idea, Neddy.

    MW: Jenna thinks, “Why did I ask him that?! Stupid, stupid, stupid…!!”

    RMMD:
    (pause) “….Question Wilson and Nolan!”
    “Right!”

    BC: “No, Fred Astaire and/or Lionel Richie — why do you ask?”

  16. ComcisFan
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    S4th: I’m thinking Sally isn’t a much better boss than Ralph.

  17. wossname
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Congrats to commodorejohn and all the funny folks on the float!

    MW – Oh gawd, are we going to have to sit through this all again? I really hope tomorrow’s starts with a narration box that says “Mike finishes telling Jenna about his father…”

    Also, who called yesterday that Mike would be wearing a black shirt and orange jacket? Somebody who’d been reading ahead, perhaps?

    Phan – Now hold on – wasn’t it weeks ago that Diana busted out of the joint? So somehow Ghost-Who-Sleeps-in-Twin-Beds found the one breakfast place in Rhodiopolis with weeks’ worth of old newspapers?

  18. Bootsy
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    So, Lumjeb Fejf (sorry for any misspelling of names), what’s next in the reference department? Quintron and Miss Pussycat, perhaps? King Johnson?

  19. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Oavis (#10): A circle saw?
    Yes. For an explanation of this complicated metaphor, we turn now to singer Joni Mitchell. Joni?

    “And the sawdust
    Piles up on the ground
    And the numbered players run round and round
    We’re fighting with a whirling blade of time…
    We can’t go back, we can only watch
    The blade spin, sharp and raw,
    And lose both our bleeding arms
    To the circle saw.”

  20. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Just how do you fight a circle saw? Unplug it?

  21. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to commodorejohn and the others crowned yesterthread. Thanks for the morning giggles.

  22. fnord3125
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#14): I lol’d. But that clearly can’t be an interocitor. Where’s the triangular screen?

    Also, is it just me, or are the A3G girls apparently getting extensive facial cosmetic surgery along with their haircuts?

  23. Mibbitmaker
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Tommie Thompson turns Dressed in the Dark into American Idol as she suddenly breaks out in song, performing “You Make Me Feel Brand New” by the Style-istics.

  24. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Gnoll (#4):

    This just goes to show you–there is nothing you can do to help Tommie look better.

    A better artist?

  25. Hibbleton
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: Looks like ripples of the Barreto effect (if you got’em, show’em) has finally reached A3G. As it proceeds through the comics world, will it reach MW before the last day that the last newspaper is published? For Jenna, Toby, and the rest of the monotoned, double-knit wearing women of Charterstone, we can only hope.

    GT: Can you imagine a kid reading that and asking his dad “what’s a circle saw?” Nah, I can’t imagine a kid reading GT either.

  26. tbiggs
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @fnord3125 (#22):

    Cosmetic surgery? I’d say yes! Tommie looks like Brittany Spears with a short haircut in panel two.

  27. teenchy
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    GT: But for the two big-ass knobs at the bottom, that could pass for either a Bang & Olufsen Beocenter 2300 or a Beosound 3000. Maybe not state-of-the-art today but pretty sweet-ass in their time and a big-ticket item on a couple of high school coaches’ salaries.

  28. boojum
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    GT: Jeff Karoub would fight a circular saw for you. Too bad the other area coaches show no imagination at all, and will probably resort to the same outworn trope of the “300-pound defensive lineman.”

  29. teenchy
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Oops, didn’t mean to write that whole response in bold.

  30. Chyron HR
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    From the Case Files of the Numbers Station Enthusiasts
    The “Marty Moon” Incident

    At 6:53 PM on September 14, 2010, the Milford CT station went on the air as scheduled. Fifteen seconds into the broadcast the announcer was interrupted by an inaudible male voice, followed by the announcer delivering the cryptic proclamation, “Marty Moon makes things sound dire.” The meaning of this coded message is still unknown.

  31. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    FC: I don’t want to know why Jeffy has that focused, yet dazed, expression as he’s bouncing on that pony.

    SM: What—leaving the television coverage to take action, Mary Jane? You, my dear, are clearly no Spider-Man!

    A3G: I suspect that both Kitty and Tommie feel brand-new from whatever drugs they’re hopped up on. That, or they’ve been bouncing on their ponies again.

    MW: “Is this six-inch-wide dining plank all right, Jenna?” Jenna doesn’t care; she’s going to skip ordering any food and just get this conversation over with so Meddlin’ Mary will leave her alone and she can start drinking again.

    MT: Andy’s doing the only kind of hunting I really approve of; if Frank and his buddies ran around the enclosure on all fours and tried to catch the large bear in their mouths—well, I’d vote for him.

  32. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Gil knows that by revealing “Marty Moon makes things sound dire” to Mimi, this news will quickly spread to Milford’s gossip fence, where, after a few tellings, the message will become “Marty Moon says everything’s fine.”

  33. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    GT: Is 190 lbs considered a lightweight in high school football these days? I checked an old yellowed driver’s license of mine that I had in high school and I was 5′ 11″ and 145 lbs. I would have been considered a bit taller and heavier then most of the guys at that time. Granted, I was a baseball player and not a football player but I doubt there were very few of our football players that even were close to 200 lbs and we had a good team.

    But that was in the 1960′s and I have an idea we were much more active than today’s kids. I remember the “fat kid” in class was one or two people. Not half the student body.

  34. DAS
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#29): Maybe Mark Trail has had an effect on you?

  35. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    GT: It’s pretty routine to see unrelated panels in Gil Thorp. But how often is one of them also an obscure page from the Kama Sutra? This may be a first.

    A3G: Okay, now we’re getting some serious decollatage. As for hair, it looks like with Lu Ann being the new (unspoken) redhead, Tommie is adopting “pork gravy” as her new color.

    DtM: Let’s not examine this one too closely.

    Popeye: Popeye’s not down yet. Bluto may have to go all out and back over him with a John Deere tractor. Hey, not like anyone’s gonna call him on it.

    MC: Sad to say, this strip won’t get to work out all it’s storlyines. So maybe meta is the way to go.

    MW: Mike is dressed as a Halloween caramel corn, and Jenna has black lipstick. Guys, it’s not even October yet.

    M-Dawg: The next door neighbor is extending his own life by acting as Marm’s defense counsel.

    Crock: Since cliff’s are grey and craggy, they are clearly not at a cliff. So where are they? I’d say at the end of the flat Earth. Go ahead and jump, then. You may find yourselves in a better strip. One drawn by a fourth grader, say.

    JP: Neddie’s sending out serious mixed signals. Skywalker here may have to talk to Sophie. She’s a cheerleader, so she knows everything.

    S-M: Puppet Master’s final revenge will be to make Tony Stark repeat every moronic thing Spidey says. Harsh, dude.

    S4th: Love Sally’s new take-charge attitude. Maybe it’s the commando shirt.

    SFx: The white bird examining the gator’s teeth is the last of its species. I leave it to you to figure out why.

    SSmith: The great thing about giving your girlfriend a magnifying glass is that it’s also an opportunity for her to make fun of your dick.

    Phantom: Here’s a traveler’s tip. If a country can fairly be termed “fascist”, don’t loudly call it that in public. Unless you want the full guided waterboarding tour, of course.

  36. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    PBS: ‘Croc Een A Box’! Just in time for the holiday season. Get it for your in-laws now! A fine gift for the Keene household!

  37. Saluki
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Ha ha. Archie incorporated still thinks that kids use email.

  38. teenchy
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @DAS (#34): Maybe, or at least on my fingers.

  39. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#31): Do we have a new catch phrase?

    “It looks like they were ‘bouncing on their pony’ most of the day.”

    “I swear. They must have been ‘bouncing on their pony’!”

  40. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Somewhere on Long Island, there’s a maid in a mauve-colored home cleaning topless today so that Tommie Thompson can show off her new “look.” Sorry, Tommie, but “whore” is not your look. Well, maybe book reading woman in the park feeding her bread crust to squirrels whore but that’s an entire different matter.

  41. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#40):
    THERE’S A WHORE WITH BREAD CRUST?!
    WHERE?! WHERE?!

    i like my bread crust with a side of cole slaw please

  42. Mela
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m actually pleasantly surprised that Tommie isn’t now a blonde; it shows the strip doesn’t subscribe to Ted Baxter’s three female personality types. It’s just content to give us no personality at all or Margo as the options.

    Cleats: We need to make “&#SNARF*GUB BUB@BALLA%#” a legit swear substitute, even if we need to shorten it.

    Curtis: Learning – tool of the Devil.

    ReFOOB: “Her brain’s not stuck in 1955, you massive load.”

    FW: Making the lips the same color as the characters’ skin will no longer disguise the fact that you’re giving your lone two Black characters ooga lips, Batiuk.

    Luann: Please let the slaughter commence… PLEEEEASE let the slaughter commence.

    MT: “Right after I finish watching my dog maul a helpless squirrel.”

    MW: Oh, joy, a recap. Hunker down, everyone. It might not take as long as 9CL’s storyline but it’ll sure feel like it.

    MC: And aprons. The best apron I own. (Why is this ending? WHY?)

    NS: Ha, ha! It’s funny because the only reason the military exists is to be evil bullies and only evil bullies join it! Wiley’s old buddy Tom told him all about it.

    OBH: If this was inspired by the guy who changed one of those “Donate Your Car” billboards with the little girl into “Donate Your Kid” almost seamlessly, I’ll be thrilled.

    PBS: A new addition to the list of things I’d buy before I ever buy a Snuggie, even as a joke.

    Pluggers: It’s not hoarding unidentifiable table scraps that wouldn’t constitute a single serving; it’s being frugal and down-to-earth.

    Rubes: Decent joke, poor execution.

    6Chix: Now THIS I would buy as a print. Been there, wanted to punch that.

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Today’s Dogg — Wooden bats vs. aluminum bats! (No relation to bats :[ )

    Candorville — Sleep tight, Lemont… don’t let the bed bugs bite!

    Nancy — But he needs a name, Nancy… how about “Leaf Erickson”?

    Watch Your Head — Tie on the door, Omar… TIE ON THE DOOR!!!

  44. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Mela (#42):

    FW: Making the lips the same color as the characters’ skin will no longer disguise the fact that you’re giving your lone two Black characters ooga lips, Batiuk.

    Speaking of coloring the lips wrong…

  45. mollificent
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Move over, Smoove B. Mike is going to oh-woe-is-me himself right into Jenna’s panties. Hawt!

  46. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#40):

    Wait, how did we segue into discussing squirrel whores?

    So many questions!! Do they collect nuts? Where do they bury them? Do they get hit by cars when they are streetwalking?

  47. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is it just me, or does Tommie like like Brittany Spears? What I really like it today’s strip is Kat’s “How YOU doin’?” expression in panel 2.

    GT: Circle saw blocking is just one of many industry- and trades-related drills Coach Thorpe has instituted in a misguided effort to prepare his athletes for the real world. Others include screen door screens, live wire handoff drills, arc-welder rushing, and propane tank blitz blocking.

  48. bats :[
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Y47 AeroSquid: re, Cayla’s new do’…I think she’d be a whole lot better off if she told Les to get bent and take up with Preston from Alien Loves Predator. It IS a good match, you’re right!

  49. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#46):
    I KEEP MY NUTS POSTED!

    i have no idea what that means

  50. The Party Sim
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: LuAnn is simply plotting her revenge for 14 days hence, when she will be safely able to return to blonde…right after the killing spree.

  51. anty a
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m intrigued by this artistic convention by which people look at each out of the corner of their eyes while facing somewhere else. Today’s second panel seems to be a particularly outstanding example: Why would “Mama Kat” assess Tommie’s new “look” while turned perpendicular to her? Is it because facing Tommie full-on would result in unwanted side effects of some sort? Or is that Mama Kat is herself so resplendent in what looks like lemon yellow scrubs and plastic pearls that she is slowly rotating so that the audience gets the full effect?

  52. Red Greenback
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Man, the acting in Gil Thorp is terrible!

  53. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    I’d like to call the attention of my fellow papicolists to recommend this site. Like tv tropes, it will adimpleate your time.

  54. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @anty a (#51):

    Is it because facing Tommie full-on would result in unwanted side effects of some sort?

    Yes. But unlike the effects of looking directly at the Medusa, gazing at Tommie causes a person to turn to mush.

  55. Bret
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    If only we could hear the great hip sound of Modern English’s “I Melt with You” emanating from those wicked speakers as Gil initiates his chin’s nightly dissolve into Mimi’s eyebrows. One of these mornings, they’re not going to reconstitute correctly, and then we’ll see what Marty Moon has to say about that.

  56. ChapeauNoir
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Re MW, Mike and Jenna may have been inspired by seismic-2′s comments yesterday, since today they appear to be lunching in a subway station. With a weird spiky plant in it – but that could happen in the Charterstone subway, right?

  57. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#54): While the graviloquence of Funky Winkerbean is meant to envoke pity, it usually produces tristifical hate.

  58. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MW: I really hope we can skip the recap and that tomorrow’s strip opens with Mike saying “…and that’s why I didn’t return your calls,” and Jenna responding, “Are you #*@%ing kidding me? That’s the stupidest crock of $#*# I’ve ever heard. I really mean it. I work with people who are so #*@%ing dumb they can’t figure out that if they spend more than they earn they’ll go into debt, but what you just told me really takes the cake as far as lame excuses go. I have no #*@%ing idea what I saw in you that first night, but I’ll take it as a sign that I really need to get out way more often, if only to get my weirdo detector in working order. Here, this should cover whatever the #*@% I ordered. I’ll see ya. Hoo-boy! I am going to #*@%ing murder that old cow!”

  59. Old School Allie Cat
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I had hoped for something a little edgier for Tommie – I believe Annie Lennox was my suggestion. The hair, while a little soccer mom, isn’t bad – better than that bubble cut she had earlier.

    Of course, there’s precedent for new hairstyles. They did a revamp of Thel in Family Circus a while back she went from fooball helmet to latter-day Carol Brady – and then of course, when Luann turned “16″ a few decades back, she went from big poofy lumps to the unteased cocktease goddess she is today.

  60. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#57): Oops. That was suppose to be @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#53): .

    I feel so gleimous.

  61. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#35): re Crock “You may find yourselves in a better strip. One drawn by a fourth grader, say.”

    Bob Weber Jr has plenty of applicants for the job on his strip, any one of which would be an improvement over the current artist.

  62. Fashion Police
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick (#7) said:

    So to modernize Tommie, they dressed her in a nightie from a Doris Day movie?

    Regarding Miss Thompson’s new look, we have little to add to the observations of Patrick and other astute commentators. We do approve of her hair. It is much sassier, in a Mary Lou Retton kind of way.

    We are severely disappointed, Ms. Shulock. We had such high hopes. Though they may no longer look like refugees from the church basement rummage sale, this is a hardly and improvement. We expected chic modern women, not debutantes at the FFA Cotillion.

  63. bats :[
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the Keanes next vacation can be to LoFo, where they can horse-back ride with Mark and Rusty, while Cherry and Thel swill screwdrivers and do each others’ hair…

  64. boojum
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#53): Why, you — I oughta tudiculate ya!

  65. Anonymous
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#53): One who worships the pope?

  66. Mollie
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    The way Tommie is looking at me in panel 1 is VERY VERY UNSETTLING.

  67. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mollie (#66): Kit’s the one freaking me out in panel 1. She looks like someone just shoved an electrode up her butt.

  68. Shawn S.
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    This Dirk story is going to backfire on Evans; people would much rather see Dirk beating up Brad then another Brad and Toni date. Evans is horrible at making good characters you root for…so far the whiniest characters (Luann, Brad, Gunther) are unbearable to watch. Go Dirk!

  69. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Wally Wyrd (#67): That wasn’t an electrode.

  70. Bill the Butcher
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Shawn S. (#68): Yeah, Dirk, like Ann Eiffel, is someone one can actually cheer on.

  71. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie’s new ‘look’ convinces me more and more that this strip is set in 1965, and no one bothered to tell us.

    MW – The restraunt Mike and Jenna went to must have a pretty lax dress code if they allow Mike to dine wearing an orange bathrobe over black pajamas.

    MT – Squirrel!!!

  72. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane does the hand jive while Gil Thorp give us sweet chin music.

  73. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#71):
    MT – HUMAN!

    more or less

  74. Walker of Dog
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to this week’s honorees, especially Old School Alley Cat.

    A3G: The reviews are in for Tommie 2.0:
    “Still sluggish and unresponsive” – Car and Driver
    “The 1.0 user interface problems are unresolved… A missed opportunity” – Wired
    “Wait a minute…WTF?! What is this b!#&h trying to pull?!” – Mariska Hargitay

    GT: Maybe Gil is referring to a keyhole saw? They can be used to make circles, and they are nimble and challenging opponents in the wrestling ring.

    Luann: Brad’s exceptionally high inseam is disturbing.

    A3G: Tommie feels “brand-new” because the makeover caused her virginity to grow back. She never actually lost it before; it just died.

    Phan/MW: Matching final panels today, where women who make bad choices lose their appetites and silently curse their poor judgment while listening to their blue-haired gentleman-companions spout nonsense.

  75. Old School Allie Cat
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#74):

    Thanks, amigo!

  76. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#74) re: Phantom/Worth: That’s quite an astute observation, especially since not many people know that Mary Worth is a title as well, although it differs a bit in that the Phantom is a hereditary title whereas Mary Worth is more of a golden bough thing where a new Mary slays the old Mary and wears her skin.

  77. Ellie
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    That restaurant has space issues. Jenna and Mike are 8 inches apart, but the waiter in the rear is a full 8 feet from his customer.

  78. BRWombat
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Imagine what Tommie will “feel” when she realizes that she’s on television dressed only in skimpy lingerie.

  79. Larry Fine
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Luann — Dirk is none too welcome around Casa DeGroot, especially after leaving a turd the size of a Hummer in the toilet.

  80. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): I’d approve on the condition that they could pick their own writer. There’s only so much you can do with the jokes it has now.

  81. Larry Fine
    September 14th, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Jenna: “Waiter! Check please!”

  82. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    What’s Tommie wearing down below? A Beverly D’Angelo in “European Vacation” ba-ba-ba-ba?

  83. Vince M
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    MW has become Last Year at Meddlinbad.

  84. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#63): And then, I imagine, spend some time bouncing on their own ponies.

  85. commodorejohn
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    9CL – If the entire week consisted of Edda sarcastically insulting her mother, I could get behind that.

    A3G – If you need me, I’ll be alternately rolling on the floor and banging my head against the wall.

    Crankshaft – So. Think it can get any stupider?

    Dilbert – Scott Adams, I love you.

    FC – *insert Equus joke here*

    FW – This hurts more the longer it goes on.

    GT – “He’d fight a circle saw?” Oh sure, taunt us with the things you’ll never show us.

    Love Is… – oh jesus make it go away why does this exist

    Luann – Bring forth the Muted Trumpet of Kom-ed-EEE!!! Wah wah waaaah!

    MT – Is she tilting her head to try and counteract the lean of the strip? You’re overcorrecting, dear.

    MW – I swear, if we go over that whole damn story again, people are gonna die.

  86. Karmyn
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @tbiggs (#26):
    I thought more that she looked like Bonnie Franklin. Whatever it is, it’s scary.

  87. Joe Blevins
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I’ll say Tommie feels brand new… she sprouted a nose between the first and second panels!

  88. dale
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#74):

    Gil Thorp

    Compass, coping and keyhole saws : circular saws :: anteaters : lions.
    If the kid really gets in fights with power tools, he is too stupid for even a GT team.

  89. Bootsy
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Last time a Gil Thorp character fought a saw, he lost. Well, he lost his leg. I would count that as a loss, but maybe they don’t in Milford. Ah, well. Off to fight my double compound miter saw. Those deWalts are a bitch.

  90. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @fnord3125 (#22): Thank you. I thought Tommie’s face looked different than before, but I can’t really remember what she looked like before (she’s Tommie, after all), and I’m not quite pathetic enough yet to check.

  91. Hibbleton
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: IDK, to me, Jenna looks like she’s thinking “what a load of horseshit.”

  92. Helen Clark
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Not so fast, Jenna. Let me tell you, you do not want to listen to some man’s family troubles without a cocktail in your hand. (hic) As he’s blathering on—”Oh, Daddy left us! Poor me, my father was a failed vigilante!”—you’re going to want something else to think about, and I find the comforting burn of a good martini to be a welcome (hic) distraction.

    And what the hell—maybe you’ll be tipsy enough that even after you’re sick of listening to “Doctor” Mike’s melodramatic nonsense, you’ll still want to (hic) get laid! Ha!

  93. Robin
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Whenever I read Gil Thorp, I can see the words but they don’t have meanings in my head. It’s kind of like reading Youtube comments.

    If you asked me to describe any plotline, I would most likely mumble something about golf, punching, and crotches.

  94. Stroker Ace
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    GT – ‘Circle saw’? Is that like a ‘reacharound’?

  95. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#62): I always appreciate your astute and eloquent comments. In this case, I do have one observation, based on the fact that a friend is an FFA Advisor and I’ve met some FFA members. I cannot speak for other FFA members around the country, but the female members I met would not be caught dead in what the A3G cast members are now wearing. Well, dead, maybe. But they’d have to be arrayed in that garb after their collective demise, not before.

  96. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Helen Clark (#92): Thank you for dropping by. It’s always a better thread when you do.

  97. Walker of Dog
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#89): Don’t forget your eye protection – have fun!

  98. odinthor
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    GT, panel 1.

    Can you win with a rookie quarterback?

    “Marty, with a killer smile and quick hands, you can win with anybody!”

    GT, panel 3. — In a bid to counter 9CL’s hand sex, GT is introducing . . . nose sex! Giving a whole new meaning to Gesundheit!

    Love Is . . . — Patiently waiting for him to figure out where.

    MW. — “Oh, hronk!—a man with daddy issues,” Jenna is clearly thinking. “If he asks me to put on the old man’s coat before he’ll kiss me, I’m outta here.”

  99. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Robin (#93): I extend gratitude, and it’s good to know I’m not alone. When I try to make GT words have meaning in my head, I can often feel brain cells pushing frantically away from them, trying to escape.

  100. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    MW — It’s a sad comment on MW that Jenna’s look of growing distaste is the first real sign that she has a functioning cerebrum.

  101. Buck Ripsnort
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Luann: The critics rave! “SHOCK and SUSPENSE” [. . . . ] “are completely missing from this craphouse. Also humor.”
    But hey, now that Dirk’s advertising his Christianity, there’s a chance he might nail Brad to a couple pieces of wood!

    Zits: You know what kind of party this’ll be: three guys, a bowl of kool-aid, and an R-rated movie on the dvd. Woo.

    A3G: Um, isn’t this the SAME GODDAMN LOOK we saw Tommie in 3 weeks ago? Lack of surprise doesn’t count as “A surprise reveal”, people.

  102. Shannon's Puppet
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Gil is a fan of Ray Stevens’ epic song “Ballad of the Blue Cyclone”.

    Bill said, “Since yer thinkin’ ’bout takin’ him again,
    I know two ol’ boys who weigh 210.
    They’d wade through hell just to fight a circle saw.

    They both lift weights, so you know they’re mean
    And the four of us would make a heck of a team.
    We might not win, but we’d durn-sure fight to a draw.”

    That’s the first thing that came to mind the way Gil said it.

    The full lyric can be found at http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/ray_stevens/ballad_of_the_blue_cyclone.html

  103. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Maybe this is Gil and Kaz’s new cross-training regimen that blends football with shop class: “Gentleman, this is a circle saw.”

  104. Red Greenback
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    I can’t really explain it, Kat. But I’d fight a circle saw for you.

  105. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Circle saw.

    Another circle saw.

    And yet another circle saw.

    Home made knife made from a circle saw blade.

    CIRCLE SAW! CIRCLE SAW! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

  106. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Ok, maybe someone has already posted this, but if not…

    For you Mark Trail fans out there (and you know who you are), here’s a link to some MT radio shows from the fifties: http://www.archive.org/details/MarkTrail
    http://www.archive.org/details/MarkTrail-page2 http://www.archive.org/details/MarkTrail-page3

  107. But What Do I Know?
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#14):

    +1 Dood for the interocitor sighting

    Oh, and by the way, I’d fight a circle saw (I assume that’s a circular saw) for you too–if it was turned off!!!!!

  108. cheech wizard
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    A3G – So, the essence of this fashion makeover has just been to get the gals to show some skin for a change? If they still can’t get dates, maybe they can go on I Dressed in the Dark’s spinoff program, Why Don’t You Put Out Once in Awhile?

  109. Incredulous Disbelief
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Justin Timberlake could do a jingle to help sell “Croc een Box” at Christmastime.

    To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
    It’s easy to do just follow these steps
    1: Cut a hole in a box
    2: Put your croc in that box
    3: Make her open the box
    And that’s the way you do it
    It’s a croc een box…a croc een box girl
    It’s a croc een box, a croc een box girl

  110. wossname
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Robin (#93) and @Poteet (#99): You know, I’ve been contemplating the theory that GT and DT are actually brilliant literary oeuvres in the deconstructionist vein of Jacques Derrida, stripping away the bourgeois conventions of linear narrative and revealing the contradictions inherent in the Platonic traditions of Western thought.

    Then I think, naaah – they’re just badly written comic strips.

  111. Fashion Police
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#95):
    As far as we know, the FFA rarely, if ever, indulges in cotillions either, and we had hoped that reference would have elevated our comment to the realm of hyperbole. We apologize for our imprecision.

    We do, however, recall that our dear cousins Loudeen and Marilee, who were active FFA members in their youth, were much given to frilly dresses on Saturday nights.

    It is too bad we cannot see the rest of Miss Thompson’s attire. One imagines a petticoated full skirt with ruffle trim to match the bodice. With a scoop instead of a plunging neckline. cap sleeves and a pair of dyed-to-match flats it would make a wonderful square-dancing dress.

    Perhaps Miss Thompson rather than Mrs. Powers should be off painting daisies on the South Dakota prairie. One wonders if the two of them will be exchanging personalities as well.

  112. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Was it Belinda Carlisle who sang “Circles with a Saw”?

  113. Nightcrawler666
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    So looks like Tommie caught Bieber Fever judging by that haircut.

  114. Darkefang
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#33):

    “GT: Is 190 lbs considered a lightweight in high school football these days? I checked an old yellowed driver’s license of mine that I had in high school and I was 5? 11? and 145 lbs. I would have been considered a bit taller and heavier then most of the guys at that time. Granted, I was a baseball player and not a football player but I doubt there were very few of our football players that even were close to 200 lbs and we had a good team.”

    I was 5’11″ and 200 lbs as a junior in high school during the 1990-91 season, and I was far from being one of the bigger kids in school. Our quarterback that year was around 6’1″, 190 and the next season, our QB was around 6’0″, 225.

    Of course, our teams were pretty Thorpian in that they hardly ever passed. Our quarterback was usually either the fastest guy on the team or the most powerful runner. If they did pass, it was a two-yard screen pass to the halfback.

  115. littlestevie
    September 14th, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    GT: Glad to see that Mimi finally, finally got her lawn mowed.

  116. Just Call Me E
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Wally Wyrd (#76): Actually, more like Dr. Who regeneration maybe…..

  117. Red Greenback
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    GT: He’ll also be your baby, he’ll be your score, he’ll run the gun for you, and so much more. He’ll wing-t 4 ya.

  118. Gabby
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    From yesterday – @Not Greg Evans (#20): Yes! Now playing the role of Tommie: Mariska Hargitay in a nightie!

  119. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Just Call Me E (#116): Possibly. Maybe she’s the last of the Meddle Lords who were all but wiped out in the great Meddle War. She had to commit genocide against her own race and their enemies to end the war, but unlike the Doctor, she feels no guilt over it. In fact, she’s quite pleased with herself.

  120. Austria
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    BB: *takes deep breath*
    IT’S NOT A HALF MOON! IT’S A WAXING CRESCENT! DO YOU HEAR ME, A WAXING-FREAKING-CRESCENT! A FIRST GRADER WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL YOU THAT’S NOT A HALF MOON! EVEN IF IT WAS, THIS STILL WOULDN’T BE FUNNY!!!

    MT: Squirrel

    Zits: Why do I get the feeling this has been done countless times before with mediocre results? Oh, that’s right — because it has.

  121. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Gabby (#118): I’ll be in my bunk . . . .

  122. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#120): re Zits: how else to tropes come about? ;-)

  123. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    “. . . DO tropes come about.” *fail*

  124. Rana
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    I have to say, I keep wanting to pop Dr. Mike Mark Trail style, the way he keeps milking his father’s issues for sympathy. The worst was about a week ago, when he implied to Jenna that all of those weeks he was incommunicado he was nursing his ill and dying father – when we know that really he was just wallowing in self-pity and his father only made an appearance at the last moment, and was barely mourned (I guess hand-biting counts) by his feckless son.

    I mean, dude has passive-aggressive written all over him. Sure, Jenna has her own issues – such as over-inflating the significance of a single date – but at least she didn’t try to excuse her behavior with sad overblown stories about some abusive former boyfriend or such.

  125. Larry Fine
    September 14th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#106):
    I never knew they did a radio version of Mark Trail. I guess people had to picture the bad guy facial hair in their minds. At least they could hear the punching.

  126. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Those Mark Trail radio shows were brought to you by Kellogg’s Pep.

  127. Bootsy
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#97):

    The safety goggles! They do nothing!

  128. Bootsy
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Darkefang (#114):

    Did you go to an all-girls school run by Catholic nuns?

  129. Rhekarid
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    You know Mama Kat, I’m speechless too. I’ll just have to react to Tommie with the first instinctive, non-verbal noises that come to me.

    BAHAHAHAHA!

  130. Thomas B.
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    GT
    Today’s Gil Thorp doesn’t do much to dispel the stereotype of the dumb jock. Rather than fight a circle saw, shouldn’t center Jeff Karoub just unplug it?

    My first thought was that Mimi was using a ham radio, but no one in GT has the brains to get an operator’s license so I’ll go along with that being an upright CD player, despite the fact that thing has a tuning dial capable of picking up deep space transmissions.

    MT-
    Andy goes after a squirrel while Mark eyes a beaver.

    MW
    Today’s Mary Worth brings to mind a line from Revenge of the Sith: “Soon I will have a new apprentice, one far younger and more powerful.”-Darth Sidious
    Indeed The Meddle is strong in this one.
    —-
    “I have a fear of commitment that is related to being abandoned by my father as a young child, but those fears will subside once I spend an hour talking with on a park bench and he then dies within 24 hours of moving into my home.”

    Not even e-Harmony’s famous 29 dimensions of compatibility could draw out that level of emotional baggage.

    Pluggers
    Given what Pluggers are, shouldn’t her word balloon read “Which of my ex-husbands did I put in this bag, the turkey, the chicken, perhaps that catfish? What was I thinking when I married him?”
    caption: Pluggers don’t let good meat go to waste.

    SM
    I’m hoping the “Mr. S” in that suit–clearly it isn’t Tony Stark–is Steven Slater; that would drive Puppet Master insane. “I ordered him to destroy the police station, but he just grabbed to beers and flew away!”

  131. TruthOfAngels
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    ‘ **gasp** I’m speechless, Tommie!’

    ‘That’s a first, Mama Kat, you mouthy old bag!’

    ‘SHUT IT, WITCH! You look amazing, Tommie! How do you feel?’

    ‘Like I’ve been forced to parade in my underwear and a crappy wig!’

    ‘Shut up and clap harder, doormat!’

  132. Dood
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I betcha Mark Trail could kick a circle saw’s ass. That is, if the circle saw had facial hair.

  133. troy macgregor
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    An upright CD player? I guess that makes Gil the hippest coach in the year 1998.

  134. Chip Whittle
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: Am I wrong to notice how Stoned Pony Mark Trail is totally figuring out how long he has to put up with this before he turns and eats Jeffy?

    Gil Thorp: Well, my trust in the nature of reality is shattered, between the idea of fighting a circle saw and learning that Marty Moon’s show actually exists and has an audience that hears anything he has to say. Maybe the couple who’re kissing each other’s eyebrows doesn’t actually listen to the words and just hears a vague unhappy-sounding wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah noise, like if there were a Funky Winkerbean cartoon.

    The Phantom: Man, so, Walker diving off a boat into a sinking, flaming pirate ship to steal a helicopter didn’t put Savarna off him, but he’s chipper at 7:15 one morning and she sees the error of her ways? Admittedly, the people who are chipper at 7:15 am deserve to be left alone where they can’t interfere or interact in any way with normal people.

    Pluggers: “Is that sliced turkey? … Chicken strips? … Or perhaps it’s catfish … I don’t remember … Oh! It’s Shiela! No wonder we haven’t seen her since February!”

    Spider-Man: “Today my revenge will be complete! Finally I’ll exact revenge on the opening credits to the Tom Baker-era Doctor Who!”

    Is anyone else as completely sure as I am that Mary Jane isn’t rushing to the scene just so she can be ineffectively captured by accident?

  135. Guy Neeto
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    “We’ll get some answers on Friday. For now, sit back and relax as I bore my chin into your frontal lobe.”

  136. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Here’s how the Mark Trail radio show called “Polluted Waters” starts out.

    W. Putnam Clyde – Mr. Baddy McEvil, Industrialist
    Dan Brady – Friend of Mark Trail

    ——————————————————————

    Brady: Don’t you understand Mr. Clyde? That there stuff you’re dumping in the river flows right into Pine Tree Lake! And it’s poison! It’s killing everything!

    Clyde: Well, what of it?

    Brady: What of it? WHAT OF IT?! Datblastit! You’ve got to stop it… RIGHT NOW!

    Clyde: You don’t say?

    Brady: I DO say! You got to stop it before the whole lake is ruined! Before the whole town is ruined! Why, none of us can make a decent living no more. And this is our ONLY CHANCE! Come winter we’ll STARVE TO DEATH!

    Clyde: Mr. Brady, before I show you to the door, let me make one thing clear to you. I don’t care what happens to your town. I don’t care what happens to your lake. I’ll continue to operate here even it it means wiping out every living thing in this country! And there’s nothing you can do to stop me!

    (Mysterious organ music)…

    ……………

    No one say’s “Holy Crapping Pancakes!” but Dan does say “Great galloping gophers!” at one point.

    Mark’s biggest curiosity is wanting to know what the “W” stands for in W. Putnam Clyde.

    **SPOILER ALERT**
    It's "Wilber."

  137. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 14th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    TOMORROW’S DICK TRACY… TODAY (cribbed from Gary Hobson’s copy of the Chicago Sun-Times):

    Panel #1 — Sam & Dick exchange knowing looks as the former’s Cialis finally kicks in… (the PD set begins to shimmer & shake as it transforms into an outdoor set)

    Panel #2 — S & D are outdoors sitting in separate clawfoot bathtubs, holding hands… (Narration box: “In the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury.”)

  138. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#111): Please allow me to apologize in turn. Indeed, I should have recognized your reference as hyperbole, and in future, will keep in mind that your comments are like a musical scale, moving from hyperbole to the most delicate wit.

    The rest of your comment brought a revelation. I had been trying, almost subconsciously, to figure out where Tommie would fit best in the universe, and now I realize that in my mind, at least, she might belong on the Lawrence Welk Show, if her voice really is good.

  139. Uncle Lumpy
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Gil fought the circle saw, bested it, and mounted it in his sweet-ass vertical CD player to play Barry White tunes for him and Mimi 24/7.

    Because he’s just that tough.

  140. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#137): Yep, it’s a good thing I stocked up on brain bleach last weekend.

  141. Jamus The Bartender
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread: Congratulations, commodorejohn:)

    Luann: It’s okay, Brad. Dirk found the Lord now. Your biggest risk is that he’ll sit on your sofa for two hours trying to sell you The Watchtower ™ .

  142. Jamus The Bartender
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “My father deserted my family when I was a young boy….he drank a lot….and became The Punisher. Where in hell are those chicken wings I ordered??”

  143. Jamus The Bartender
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    JP:” …Don’t come until you finish law school.” Dammit, Neddy, cut the poor guy a break. He’s gotta relax sometime.

  144. A New Day
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Actually, the hair’s not bad. But I am more fascinated by the brave fashion leap that these ladies have achieved – I think they’ve made it up to 1982!

  145. Amateur
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G: GAH! They gave Tommie plastic surgery to make her look like Kate Gosselin! *runs for dear life*

  146. Walker of Dog
    September 14th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#136): Did Brady ever call Clyde “a warped, frustrated old industrialist”?

    @Jamus The Bartender (#143): Yikes, I’d hate to attend that graduation ceremony. (Warning: first four rows may get… well, you know…)

  147. cheech wizard
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    So who’s gonna make over Mama Kat and Kitten? Because they dress exactly like the 3G trio did before these two turned them into floozies.

  148. gnome de blog
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    “I fought the saw and the saw won”

    Has anybody said that yet?

  149. cheech wizard
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    As anyone who’s seen Zombie College is aware, zombies have sex by eating each other’s brains. That’s why Gil’s wife looks so content as he drills through her forehead with his raspy tongue and starts to feed.

  150. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#147): Woah! Is this TV show all an elaborate scam to for Kit-Kat to acquire decades-out-of-production JC Penney’s clothing? Well-played, ladies!

  151. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#83):
    MW has become Last Year at Meddlinbad.

    “Ze plate glass weendows, ze tables all alike, ze flyspecked framed pictures of fish on ze wall, ze salmon squares wiz one bite taken out, ze quiet hum of insignificant background people leading lives of no import, ze oil candles guttering on ze tables, ze flies beating apathetically against ze plate glass weendows wiz zeir tiny bodies, soon to die and be forgotten…”

  152. commodorejohn
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    You know, judging by the expression on Kitty’s face, I’d say the mescaline has just kicked in. Maybe she calls her mother “Mama Kat” because she actually sees her as one. Hey, maybe the whole premise of I Dressed In The Dark is “random schmucks get made over by people who are on psychoactive substances!”

  153. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#151): Now see, that’s just the sort of comment that keeps me coming back here. High culture, that’s what.

  154. gnome de blog
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#143):
    I think Neddy’s telling Mark she doesn’t want him to get in her way for the next 3 or 4 years. Does he know she’s shacked up with a hot young shoe designer?

    Or maybe he understands that Neddy’s relationship with Jules is just what she says it is: she respects him as an artist. I mean, what are the odds that a guy with a passion for designing women’s shoes is straight?

  155. Wally Wyrd
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#152): Heck! There probably is no show! Kit-Kat probably have been holding holding the girls in their apartment and keeping them high as kites so that they only think they’re on TV. In reality Kit-Kat are a drug-addled mother-daughter team of grifters who sometimes get caught up in the drama their own scams. At the end of the week when the girls come out of it, they’ll find their apartment stripped right down to the lathing with some guy named Fred sitting in a dumpstered chair drinking beer.

  156. Mike
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Words cannot express my reaction to someone literally saying “I am speechless”

  157. Fashion Police
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#138):

    I had been trying, almost subconsciously, to figure out where Tommie would fit best in the universe, and now I realize that in my mind, at least, she might belong on the Lawrence Welk Show, if her voice really is good.

    With a nice, billowy chiffon skirt and Big Hair, she might at that.

    We grieve that poor Miss Thompson has been brought so low. She used to be the smart, tough and sassy one.

  158. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#146):

    Did Brady ever call Clyde “a warped, frustrated old industrialist”?

    No. But Brady did take an ax to some pipes and such of Clyde’s and got thrown in jail. When Mark went to talk to Clyde about dropping charges againt Brady, Clyde declares “it’s a conspiracy!” and threatens to have Mark thrown in jail too. When Mark goes back to talk to Brady in jail, Mark finds out that Brady called the sheriff to have Mark thrown in jail. Clyde didn’t have proof that Mark did anything so Mark didn’t get thrown in jail.

    We also had evidence that Evil Clyde McBadass had no facial. Mark threatened to punch Clyde at one point but didn’t because Clyde was too old. If Clyde had facial hair I don’t think age would have mattered.

    By the way, what I wrote at #136 I didn’t make up. It’s an actual transcription of the first act of the radio drama.

    This stuff is so bad it’s good. Kind of like the comic strip.

  159. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#158): I left out the word “hair” in one place. See if you can spot it!

  160. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#153): Thanks! Vince M deserves 2/3 of the credit for it. I just filled out his premise.

  161. teddytoad
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    For a confusing second, I thought Kitty was the “new Tommie,” which I had to admit was a pretty dramatic change (for the worse). Then I realized my eyes had totally passed over Tommie in the middle there, which made me thankful that, for all her newfangled hairdo, our gal hasn’t changed a bit.

  162. JD Rhoades
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    We all know what’s going to happen in Luann now, don’t we? The new “reformed” Dirk is going to make a plea for Toni to take him back because he’s CHANGED, he’s really CHANGED, and she’ll fall for it, because let’s face it, you know Dirk was hittin’ that in more ways than one, and Ms. Daytona must be getting about ready to start rubbing against the banisters due to sexual frustration from hanging around Mr. “I’m too in love to make a move.”

    So she’ll go back to Dirk and have weeks of hot monkey sex, thus breaking Brad’s heart and spurring Mama DeGroot into a truly creepy frenzy of “I told you that slut was no good, come back to Mama, Mama’s the only one who understands”, and then Dirk will get all psycho again and slap Toni around, and she’ll come back, and of course Brad the spineless worm will fall for it.

  163. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @JD Rhoades (#162): I don’t know. I think Dirk’s gonna be written out of the strip and Evans was letting him have one good crap before he goes.

    Or is it the story line that’s crap?

  164. Government Cheese
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Why don’t the DeGroots ask Dirk to just take a dump in the dumptruck? I mean, that’s what its for right?

    A3G: I still don’t get this plotline (rightfully so because I never follow the strip) – so they have all gone to the Tribeca Grill to show off their new non-stunning hairdos? Robert DeNiro was not notified of this party and would have probably not approved. “Yeah move that party down to Arby’s”.

  165. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Did Dirk wash his hands after using the john?

    Oh, wait. he’s got those big ass garbage handling gloves on. He didn’t even have to use toilet paper with those bad boys on.

    Come on, Brad. Shake hands with Dirk.

  166. SWMBO
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#83): Oh I like this. Alot. Great movie reference, but MW isn’t nearly confusing enough to merit the comparison:-)

  167. Stev0
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    That’s no CD player. That’s half of a reel-to-reel tape machine.

  168. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Syndicated cartoonist CHARLOS GARY (Cafe Con Leche, Working It Out) celebrates his 42nd birthday today! He was born September 14, 1968!

  169. tb4000
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Brad, you will never get the WWE title by just TALKING. It’s time to put that firefighting license to use…find the nearest hose and get to stranglin’.

    And yes, sadly that was a double entendre.

  170. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

  171. Girl Reporter
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m thinking that a hairstyle with “dread” in its name is somehow apropos.

  172. sugarpie
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    There is no denying this thread’s (small ‘c’) catholic scope: A. Resnais, J. Derrida, Frazer’s Golden Bough, FFA cotillions, and reach-arounds. In the words of Lickey Banes, “my hat is OFF!”

  173. Trilobite
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    This just goes to show that Tommie is the ideal subject for a makeover — since everyone completely forgets about her whenever she’s not in their immediate line of sight (and sometimes even when she is), a clever stylist can do just about anything and claim it’s a radical change. Who will ever know the difference?

    All the Dressed in the Dark experts had to do was buy Tommie a comb and a new shirt, then burn her “Before” pictures to cover their tracks. After that, they could spend the rest of their budget on gin and hookers.

  174. Riff Chick
    September 14th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Oh lord.. they remade Tommie in their image… X-[

  175. ElkMeadow
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    I hate it when I scroll down on the comments, thinking of something witty and hoping no one else said it, and then forget what it was when I get here.

  176. mr 12 oz can
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    mark trail- what the comics code couldnt show andy biting that squirral in half you know he caught him .
    mary worth- dam jenna werent you suppose to tell dr mike what a loser your father was first. what kinda doctor cant get a table at a resterant either.
    gil thorp- oh my gawd player 50 has no arms is that the guy who fought a circle saw.
    fred basset- i already forgot what happen in this strip . reminder to self no gin and juice after 8pm with work the next day

  177. commodorejohn
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @Trilobite (#173): I’m not sure they’d even have to burn the “before” pictures. I don’t think Tommie actually registers on film.

  178. Anonymous
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#158): I noticed, and it disturbed me greatly.

  179. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#178): I noticed, too, mainly because this post was me.

  180. Adele Gepotchkit, II
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Not too many comments about this strip, today.

  181. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#19): Wonderful. Really twisted, but wonderful.

  182. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#175): I feel your pain.

  183. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Adele Gepotchkit, II (#180): I usually try not to comment on 9CL, because I actually like it sometimes, and that’s not too popular an opinion around here. But I actually thought last weeks strips were touching, and Mondays and todays were funny.

  184. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Against my better judgment, not that I ever pay much attention to it anymore when it comes to CC, I looked for Tommie’s former face and found it on August 1st. I then compared that face with today’s reveal. And I now believe someone killed the real Tommie and has taken her place. God knows why anyone would want to.

  185. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Adele Gepotchkit, II (#180): I’m waiting to see if the embrace will last through Saturday.

  186. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#184): Perhaps someone in the Witness Protection Program who is looking to become the most bland, insigificant person they could possibly be, to avoid detection.

  187. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    A3G: That’s not Tommie, that’s Richie Cunningham modeling Victoria’s Secret!

  188. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    MW: The expression on Jenna’s face says it all, “Fuck, he has daddy issues. Must be gay.”

  189. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    GT: When I saw the last panel, I was expecting Gil to say, “Ummm Brains!” Then I remember she married Gil so she couldn’t possibly have any.

  190. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#189): COTW nominee, right here!!!

  191. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Keep the magnifying glass, you’ll need it on the honeymoon to find that bodacious penis.

  192. Rusty
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I would pay Evans good money if he had Dirk take an upper decker.

  193. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    FC: I’m not bouncing, Mommy, I’m humping.

  194. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: How about the homeless guy living in the dumpster who overheard the entire converation that Becka and Rex while walking through the privacy of the parking lot?

  195. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’ll give it a try. Tell him to grow sideburns and maybe a moustache, it will help me explain things to him.

  196. zerowolf
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    reFried Foob: It’s a checkbook folks. You add the deposits and you subtract the withdrawals, that’s it. The bank statement even tells you EXACTLY how to reconcile your statement to your balance. These two are acting like it’s Infinitesimal calculus.

  197. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#194): That may be the same guy who’s in Dick Tracy.

  198. Scott Bot
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker – Neddy apparently has a lot of confidence in Mark’s staying power…

  199. Lil Bunnë Foo Foo
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @anty a (#51): When I was a teacher, I had a student who would look at me that way — or as I put it then, “like a kewpie doll”. Giant smile, head pointed elsewhere, eyes looking sideways at me. It was entirely creepy.

  200. Larry Fine
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#184):
    Maybe someone HAS killed Tommie and taken her place. Whoever she is, she’ll have to remember not to display a personality or the jig is up.

  201. Lil Bunnë Foo Foo
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Tommie! I’m SPEECHLESS! … you look like… ME!”

    It’s just occurred to me (which means everyone else has already figured this out, I know) that this whole storyline is an elaborate plan to update the look of the three main characters. It’s like a slow-motion New Coke debut. I tell you, Margo will not be Margo to me if she doesn’t look like a dominatrix librarian. Margo with her hair down looks like a regular person, and that’s just not the Margo I’ve grown to love.

  202. Sequitur
    September 14th, 2010 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#184): and
    @Larry Fine (#200):
    Why? Why would anyone want to kill Tommie?
    I mean, that would be like killing tapioca pudding.

  203. Poteet
    September 14th, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Lil Bunnë Foo Foo (#201): I hate Margo’s new ‘do. She looks like a flamenco dancer. Not that I have anything against flamenco dancers, but like you said, that’s not the Margo I’ve grown to love. And fear.

  204. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#203): Ah, Poteet. No need to degragate flamingo dancers (they’re kind of sexy – like you). But this isn’t Margo’s fault either. It’s that damn artist who just doesn’t know anything about drawing glamour. And glamour is what A3G used to be about.

  205. Walker of Dog
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#202): Someone might shoot her while they were aligning their gun sights.

  206. Poteet
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    9/15

    FW — This behavior would make more sense if all three protagonists were in middle school. As students.

    MT — Canned hunting, Mark. It’s called canned hunting. Look it up on the Internets. Oops, sorry, forgot you never heard of that.

    MW — What’s he eating, month-old refried beans? And what’s she eating, bread soaked in dark molasses? MW does not inspire a strong desire to sample California’s fabled cuisine.

  207. Poteet
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#204): Yeah. More glamour, mule!

  208. Poteet
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    9/15

    A3G — I don’t know why Tommie is crying, but somehow the tears are causing her face to reshape from yesterday’s weird appearance back to its former self.

    JP — I saw a news story today about research that purports to prove that French men are not very good lovers. Jules, I thought of you immediately.

    PHANTOM — Yeah, Kit, make her chew at double speed! I can see where this is going. By the time they find Diana, Savarna will have realized Kit is such a jerk that she doesn’t want him any more.

  209. agony
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, 139 “Gil fought the circle saw, bested it, and mounted it”

    I found this very disturbing….

  210. ElkMeadow
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Just saw MW. Mike’s doing the pointy finger that has been a staple at FOOB and Cathy. And I agree with other posters–the guy is gay.

    As for Rex Morgan: I’m going in for a job interview on Tuesday. Where can I get a bra that works like the ones in panel one?

    Has anyone thought that maybe the people coming to Frank’s fenced-in yard might be members of ASPCA? Vegetarians? Friends of Bambi and Boo-boo Bear? (Mayby Flower, Pepe Le Pew and others might show up and create a riot.) Or better yet, Dick Cheney, who will shoot step-dad in the face, and step-dad will, of course, like all good hunting buddies, apologize for being in the way.

    And, yeah, the money on the fence would have been better spent on campaign ads and stuff like that.

  211. Poteet
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    9/15 SS — Good lord, Susie has bazongas on her chest, not below her waistline. She must have wandered into the wrong strip.

  212. gnome de blog
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Consider this: A3G, Judge Parker and Rex Morgan were all created by the same guy. For years June Gale was a starchy, rather sexless nurse. Then she turned into, well, June Morgan. For years Judge Parker was a loopy, quirky rather sexless collection of anachronisms. Then Harold LeDoux retired, Eduardo Baretto showed up, Neddy grew up, Abbey got stoned, and we were treated to a parade of Stella D’Vitos, Dixie Juleps and Busty Duncans, with a dollop of Sociology Girl on the side.

    A3G on the other hand started out as a strip about three glamorous young women living the good life in Manhattan. As the years went by and June Gale became June Morgan, and Abbey became…Abbey, something was needed to balance the scale. So Margo, Lu Ann and especially Tommie got all frumped up to preserve balance in the cosmos. If A3G lived up to its own heritage is would…just…be…too…much. We’d probably need a couple of extra Cherry Trails and a double helping of Mary Worth just to cope. So we can thank Tommie and the gang for taking one for the team.

  213. gnome de blog
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Oh, and count me as another vote for the dominatrix librarian.

  214. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#208):

    JP — I saw a news story today about research that purports to prove that French men are not very good lovers. Jules, I thought of you immediately.

    Yeah. Otherwise we’d be up to our armpits in French.

  215. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#210):

    As for Rex Morgan: I’m going in for a job interview on Tuesday. Where can I get a bra that works like the ones in panel one?

    Ooh. I don’t know but how ’bout dropping by when you find it!

  216. Poteet
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    9/15 DT — Wait a minute. There are no thousand-dollar bills now, right?

  217. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#216): You are correct. However, you must remember that Dick Tracy takes place in some distorted parallel universe.

  218. ElkMeadow
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]

  219. ElkMeadow
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    Dirk is breaking the Fourth Wall.

    Preview, it can do only so much. And then you gotta proof-read the rest.

  220. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Okay. Who killed Mark Trail? I’m not picking it up on Comics Kingdom.

  221. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    Ack! (the comic fades but not the phrase) Now I can’t get Comics Kingdom at all!

  222. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Phew! Comics Kingdom is back.

  223. Not Greg Evans
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    To expand upon Tommy, played by Mariska Hargitay, I offer visual evidence:

    Tommie

    Tommie in Real Life

    As usual, the colorists got the dress color wrong, but what’re you going to do?

    Others:
    Mariska

    Tommie

    Mariska

  224. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    JP: Does anyone get the feeling that Jules really does not want to succeed?

  225. Sequitur
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

  226. Uncle Lumpy
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Jeez, she could be Jayne Mansfield’s daughter or something.

  227. boojum
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    @Not Greg Evans (#223): Yeah – I saw the likeness to Mariska right away. But thanks for the photos, anyway!!

  228. ElkMeadow
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Just realized–Toni is out in the car, waiting for Brad, and now she and Dirk are outside while Brad throws a tantrum inside the house while his own parents defend having had Dirk in the house, after all, he IS their trashman.

  229. Government Cheese
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    MW: I like Dr. Mike’s business leisure lunch suit and tuft of chest hair. It says “Hey Ms. J, I’m classy and want to talk about my dead father who died so I can love again. And no, he’s not Jesus.” The only mistake is that he forgets its not 1972.

  230. gnome de blog
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    @Not Greg Evans (#223):
    You may be on to something there. The girls were originally modelled after Lucille Ball, Joan Crawford and Tuesday Weld. If Margaret is updating the look, maybe she’s updating the role models as well.

    So who are the new Lu Ann and Margo?

  231. gnome de blog
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#218):
    Maybe Evans got tired of people trying to bring Dirk back, or theorizing that he’s Shannon’s father, so he’s writing him out. If that’s the case, I like it. Otherwise, I hate it. Toni and Dirk again would be going backwards.

    One question though: can you be a cop if you’re a felon?

  232. Government Cheese
    September 15th, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#231):

    I can only speak for Texas (as I grew up there) – but I believe you can be a constable or a sheriff with a felony on your record but not a police officer (in Houston that is). That’s just a 2AM memory at this point so I could be wrong.

    In the land of Luann though anything is possible! Including Dirk leaving the toilet unflushed.

  233. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 15th, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    Crock — Wee three!

    Mary Worth — Finger quoting Mike impresses Jenna with his prestiDIGITation!

    The Lockhorns — She could always upgrade to Leroy 2.0… all of the apps* without any of the aggs**!

    Gil Thorp — Bonfire of the Inanities! (Heads or tails… Milford fails!)

    *applications **aggravations

  234. Roman Fingers
    September 15th, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#217): Actually, there are, but in theory, since 1969 any bank that gets one that comes in is supposed to return it to the Federal Reserve Bank for destruction. I have been told that if you’re lucky, and you get a teller that likes you, sometimes they might hold one for you. I checked at my bank with a teller that has been there for about 25 years, and she’s never seen one come in.

    You can also buy one from a coin dealer, if they have any, but that’s usually hit or miss. Plus, if you buy one from a dealer, prices usually start at about double face value, and move up rapidly depending on condition and a couple of other things. They are still legal tender, though, so if you’ve got one, feel free to spend it.

    And now, to the snark:

    A3G: Tommie cries, because for the first time in her life, people are looking at her, and not through her. But only because for one brief shining moment, people mistook her for someone with a personality.

    Cranky: She got laid off, not transferred to Neptune. She can still bowl.

    DtM: I don’t want to know. I DO NOT want to know.

    GT: “Marcus and me”. The Milford education system at work.

    JP: Panel 3. Jules poses for “Emo Boy” album cover.

    MT: What sort of language was Bablefished into English to come up with “She’s very much concerned”?

    MW: Whether you’ve “made peace” with a deceased parent or not, people are generally sorry when it happened, you emotionless freak. And quit holding that fork like it’s got something “icky” on it! Even though, judging by that glop on your plate, it does.

    RMMD: Rex, the insurance company is a giant, faceless corporation 1000 miles from you. Nobody there gives a flip about the mayor’s race.

    reFOOB: “I’ll get your checkbook straightened out. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” That was the angle LJ was aiming for, right?

    Luann: Maybe I’m wrong, but don’t cities usually have a policy about issuing guns to people who’ve been convicted of violent crimes?

  235. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 15th, 2010 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    Today’s SCARY GARY reminded me of this poem:

    The ladybug’s a beetle.
    It’s shaped like a pea.
    Its color is a bright red
    With lots of spots to see.
    Although the name is ladybug
    Some ladybugs are men.
    So why don’t we say “gentleman bug”
    Every now and then?

    ~ Author Unknown

  236. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 15th, 2010 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#230) said: “So who are the new Lu Ann and Margo?”

    Margo = Cher
    Lu Ann = Harpo Marx

  237. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 15th, 2010 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    Pluggers — Um… is that 95 in dog years?

    Gasoline Alley — I think the actress playing the bus driver missed her cue… she was supposed to tell Rover that Boog was telling the truth!

    Love is… sitting on a wooden bench and getting splinters in your backside!

    Herb & Jamaal — Verne, is that you? (Apologies to the late Jim Varney!)

  238. Mr O'Malley
    September 15th, 2010 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about everywhere in the country, but here you need a college degree to become a police officer. It would be pretty tough to put yourself through college working as a garbage man because they have to work an inflexible schedule that takes place during the day, the same time that your classes would be.

    I know several cases of people who put themselves through college working as a janitor (sometimes even at the same college they were attending), but a lot of janitorial work happens at night.

  239. Dev_chieftain
    September 15th, 2010 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    @A3G: Actually I think I figured it out. This show isn’t about giving ladies makeovers. It’s about making them post-op transsexuals. Suddenly Margo’s lack of decollatage and Tommie’s boyish pixie cut make sense!

    …and Luann’s, what, joined the cast of Saint Seiya, I guess?

  240. Shadrach
    September 15th, 2010 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: Once again: D’awww. I really like these last couple weeks of strips. But why does the last panel there need to be at a 45° angle? Normally, McEldowney only does that when he’s trying to force-feed dialogue down the gullet of a single panel, and annoying as I find that head-tilting practice, I can understand it. But there’s no reason to draw a silent panel that way if all they’re doing is hugging. A minor quibble, though.

    Luann: “But you can believe this: Bye.” Suuure, Dirk. That’s why you were brought back.

    Also, geez, Evans, why don’t you just draw all the characters with perma-grins while you’re at it, as if a toned-down Joker had spiked the town water supply with a mild version of his venom?

  241. dale
    September 15th, 2010 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#234):

    GT: I noticed the grammar, but figured it was the sort of thing a real person would say, particularly in that setting.
    Have you ever noticed how often NASCAR commentators use the form “name and I” as the object of a preposition?

    Luann: I think it’s a Federal crime for a convicted felon to have a gun.

  242. Aleit
    September 15th, 2010 at 5:55 am [Reply]

    9CL – All this making out in the street without noticing anyone, back in the fifties, was pretty ridiculous, but now it’s rather sweet to see that those two haven’t changed.
    I still wish it took us less than a year to get to that point.

  243. John C Fremont
    September 15th, 2010 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    Phantom – “By T. DePaul.” Color me amused. But never mind that, I want to see Savarna eat faster. Faster! Eat faster! Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ha!

    That was a scene from Reefer Madness as interpreted by David Dierdorf D’Buckworth. Coming up next, Jules saves a file.

  244. zerowolf
    September 15th, 2010 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    @dale (#241): Most simple battery cases are misdemeanor charges so technically he’d not be a felon.

  245. Roman Fingers
    September 15th, 2010 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    @dale (#241): You’re right, but it’s an old habit. Back in my “radio days”, I wrote commercials, and my boss was a stickler for grammar. If you ever see me use the phrase “Those are English words, but it’s not an English sentence”, that’s who I got it from.

    And I know you’re right about “X and I”, but I’ve been boycotting NASCAR ever since the Carl Long penalty a couple of years ago. This from someone who has actually eaten meals with most of the “name” drivers from back in the day.

  246. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    Ed Power, of My Cage, I love your current arc, but you’ve been out-meta’d by today’s Over the Hedge.

    9CL: d’awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    TMMD: /fail. antibiotics are worse than useless against colds and allergies.

    GT: omg. bonfires, mobs, and the Village People referee on FRIDAY NIGHT!

    RwO: o_O.

    CdS: Pango, Pango is the capitol of American Samoa. Having read Hunter S. Thompson’s “Curse of Lono,” I’d suggest that a pangolin invasion would be better than the large and angry Samoan alternative.

    OTH: still laughing.

  247. Mordock999
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 09/15/10

    Oh, THATS right. GIVE “Ex-Con” Dirk Authority and a Gun, because ALL is FORGIVEN when he becomes a COP, Right?

    DeGroots, get READY for LEGAL Harassment, and Police Brutality, Officer DIRK Style:

    Bullshit traffic citations. ‘Mistaken’ Warrant Home invasions. High Surveillance Patrols. Choke-Holds.

    ‘Conservatives.’ Jesus….,
    ______________________

    JUSTIFIABLE DEATH to TJ!!!

  248. Ed Dravecky
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    School spirit is one thing but did Gil Thorp really have to burn all those copies of the Koran?

  249. Shadrach
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    @Mordock999 (#247): Maybe Evans is setting up an A Clockwork Orange twist, like when Alex, post-therapy, encountered his former droogs who’d since become cops and who now could legally kick him in the yarbles. Welly-welly-well!

  250. ms. docweasel
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    A “circle saw”? I’ve heard of a circular saw, but never a circle saw. And why would you fight one?

  251. tb4000
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    Luann: Luann World is like the Family Guy world, where the normal laws of logic do not apply. Peter Griffin has gotten job after job that he normally should never have gotten, but the laws of funny let him do it. Evans may be playing by the same rules with Dirk. A look at any of the past storylines should automatically give you a “wut da fuck?!” expression on your face.

  252. Lucky
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke – They’re finally putting Marmaduke to sleep. Yay!

    Mother Goose & Grimm – “Why is our doorstep slanted like this?”

    Pluggers – …know that the sweet release of death may be just around the corner.

  253. John E.
    September 15th, 2010 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    9 – You know what’s worse than six months worth of WWII era flashbacks of two young people humping?

    Six months worth of current day old people humping.

  254. Mordock999
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    @Shadrach (#249): \\

    Yeah, Yeah, THATS it. REAL ‘orror Show!

    _______________________
    DEATH to TJ and bring PLENTY of ‘Crime Scene’ Tape!!!

  255. FafMor
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    “Eat faster, Savarna!”
    “Excuse me?”

    That’s going to keep me chortling all day. There’s more matrimonial malice in those 5 words than 42 years of the Lockhorns.

  256. wossname
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    GA- Huh? The school bus teetering on the edge of a cliff doesn’t constitute an emergency? Or are we supposed to disregard the content of the dialogue and just slap our thighs at the “was/weren’t” alleged joke?

    MT – Mark, if that’s your definition of a friend, it explains a lot of Rusty’s remarks about all his “friends.”

    MW – HA! My wish about the narration box is granted, almost word for word.

    Now here’s the big question at this point: Is everything fixed? Are they going to dance on the beach some more and then get married and have babies? Or is there going to be yet another plot twist when Mike sees Jenna slugging down Boone Farm Strawberry Twist at 8 a.m. and remember’s Lonnie’s immortal words, “keep away from the alcohol, sonny, it’s the devil!”? Because that would make this a three-part arc (1. Bonnie and Fine Ernie have their problems solved by Mike, Jenna and Mary; 2. Mike and Jenna sort of fall in love, the Lonnie issue interrupts, the Lonnie issue gets resolved, they go back to falling in love) and I think that would be a first.

    Sly – that’s easy! The anchor, the boat and the oil drum.

  257. Buck Ripsnort
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Remember, Dirk was only convicted of beating the snot out of Brad. Many cities would consider that a public service.

  258. wossname
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#175): Here’s my solution to that: First thing in the morning (as soon as I get a break from those annoying tasks I’m actually being paid to do), I read the comics. I open a word doc, and type in there whatever comments occur to me. Then I read the comments here, starting at midnight, and if one of my thoughts has already been expressed, I delete that from the word doc. If there’s anything left at the end (and a lot of days there’s not), I post it.

    Then I go back and read the comments from whenever I left off the previous day until midnight.

  259. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    a comics-related Little Moment of Win

  260. Scott Bot
    September 15th, 2010 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    JP – Ok, when did we go from three million on Sunday to six million today? Does Jules work for Halliburton?

    MT – Take out the divider between the last two panels and it appears that Mark Trail is yelling at himself. The stress of dealing with Rusty has finally made him crack.

    Archie – Correct me if I’m wrong, but Archie appears to be a little young for a glass of wine.

  261. Scott Bot
    September 15th, 2010 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Luann – ‘Respect my authority!!!’

  262. Shawn S.
    September 15th, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    The sad thing is if Dirk really wants to be a cop he would instantly be better at his job then Brad. Say what you want about Dirk, but the guy keeps in shape. He’ll have Toni back in his arms by sundown.

    I don’t believe Dirk is breaking the fourth wall unless Evans is going for “most awkward ending ever”. “Yes, ill bring back Dirk…and set up a plot line where he’s changed and wants to be a cop so he can win Toni back..then I’ll have him just leave and never come back…”

    I digress, but does anyone here actually like strips with Brad in them? He whines constantly, he treats everyone BUT Toni like shit, and when around Toni all he does his allude to having sex with her. If you don’t believe then start scrolling backwards through the archives. Dirk may be a bastard but I don’t really care…this is a fictional world that’s supposed to entertain me, and I’d get the most entertainment out of watching this Brad/Toni nightmare finally end and a black eye for Brad.

  263. TheDiva
    September 15th, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    BRSG: Teen fiction’s already done it, believe me.

    C’shaft: Good thing Crankshaft hasn’t lost sight of what’s truly important in this world. Asshole.

    FW: Ah, so this is all an excuse to suddenly and inexplicably transform Cayla into a shallow, petty witch in order to clear the road for Suicidal Susan’s bid on Les’ heart [*]. Or as it’s known in the comics industry, “Anthony Caineing.”

    Luann: Oh come on Evans, why not go full hog and have Dirk part with “I have to go now, my home planet needs me.” [*]

    MW: See Crankshaft above, but replace “Crankshaft” with “Dr. Mike.”

  264. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 15th, 2010 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#260):

    (re: Archie) How do you know it isn’t a glass of Welch’s Grape Juice?

  265. Thomas B.
    September 15th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FW
    I love this game of No Limit Cancerville Hold’em Susan and Cayla are playing. “I see your dreadlocks Cayla, and I raise you a drug overdose.”
    —-
    Cayla displaying that age old adage: The quickest route to a man’s heart is to look like Crabman from My Name is Earl.
    —–
    MW
    “Dad and I made our peace Jenna, but enough of that how about another magnum?”

    “Do you feel that your Dad is still with you Mike?”
    “Well sure, I mean this is his leisure suit.”

    Crock
    Wow, the Cheshire Cat sure has seen better days. Look at the size of that tumor on the side of his face.

    A fire hydrant in middle of the desert. You know what, I’m not going to complain. I’m just going to be satisfied that it looks like a fire hydrant and call it a day.

    MT
    Sensing the impending rush of bold faced type and misplaced exclaimation points, the wall panels and the armchair escaped this strip prior to its conclusion. I wish I had done the same. Somehow the furniture is always the first to know.

  266. greghousesgf
    September 15th, 2010 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Scott Bot@260: Archie’s been in high school since the 1940′s, I think he’s entitled to a glass of wine.

  267. Not Greg Evans
    September 16th, 2010 at 12:06 am [Reply]

  268. DavidMac
    September 17th, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Oavis (#10): Only little girls fight “circle saws”. Real men fight buzz saws.

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