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Metapost: Question time

Hi kids! After a more than two years of operation, I am trying to come up with what every good site should have: an frequently asked questions (FAQ) file. Unfortunately, I’m having a bit of a hard time coming up with the questions. Perhaps that’s as it should be: the questions should be coming from you, after all. So! Please attach to this post any questions you might have had when you were but a newbie at this site (or might still have, for that matter). These can be questions about the site (“Didn’t you used to have a different name?”) and how it works (“How do I post in the forums?”), about me (“Why do you get to take so many vacations?”), about particular comics (“How can it be called B.C. is they talk about Jesus all the time?”) or plotlines (“Say, doesn’t Aldo look like Captain Kangaroo?”). I’ll be back with new comics Sunday night, so you’ll have lots of time to percolate.

200 responses to “Metapost: Question time”

  1. Von Zeppelin
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Josh–For your FAQ, a guide to some of the more esoteric abbreviations would be helpful. I have been enjoying the blog four several months and posting regularly, but I’m still not sure of the meaning of FOOB and (DT)GT. They have been defined a couple of times in comments, but they didn’t sink in. The FAQ is a great idea.

  2. bellhalla
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    I agree with Von Zeppelin about the acronym thing.

    What about a list of links to comic site online in case someone wants to follow any of the comics on their own? When I first started lurking here, that was a question I had.

  3. Fred P.
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    I want to know why FOFW sucks so bad. But I fear that even you, Josh, uniquely qualified as you are, can’t answer that question.

  4. Heckler123
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    One of the things I found confusing when I first started reading at this site was, “What the heck do all these abbreviations stand for? MT, MW, JP?”

    And most baffling of all, “What is a Foob?”

    Ah, I was so innocent back then. I have now become sufficiently corrupted to be fluent in Curmudgeonese.

  5. Sheilagh
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Maybe a guide to the merchandise slogans, too — “More zippers, mule!” is probably opaque to people who haven’t been around since the the A3G sweatshop thread. And so on.

  6. bonnach
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    How do you pick the strips you lampoon?

    Why did you start this site?

    How can I help you make some money from this whole thingamajig?

  7. Noseface Killah
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Why is there always an ad with barely-clad boobies at the top-left of your site? Is that for my wife to have something to look at when she looks over my shoulder?

  8. pengoons
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Along with the acronym idea, perhaps a handy-dandy cheat list of the inside references. I was puzzled by things such as ‘more zippers, mule’ initially, and am still thrown by shorthand commentary about certain strips with which i’m not familiar…Gil Tharp coming to mind, which I’d blissfully never heard of before finding this website.

  9. Capisce
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Why does Tom Batiuk hate his characters so much?

  10. Martin
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Yeah, I’d like to know where the “Gr” in front of Anthony came from.

    Basically an inside joke primer.

  11. Techinin
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Also links to the comics where you prefer to read them.

  12. Kansasienne
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    It might be worth explaining Finger-Quotin’ Margo.

  13. Weasel Boy
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    More information on the Comics Curmudgeon can be found on the internet.

  14. John
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    “What’s the deal with Mark Trail/Judge Parker/Rex Morgan M.D./Mary Worth/Apartment 3-G/Gil Thorpe?”

    I think a fair number of people have absolutely no idea of what the premise of these strips is, so a brief explanation of them might be in order (or at least links to the King Features Syndicate or whatever home page.)

  15. nuds
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    i had trouble finding some of the comics. There were lots I had never heard of, like Gil Thorpe and Funky Winkerbean (?sp) Also, like others, I found the acronyms puzzling, though quite fun to find out about over time when reading the archives – still working through them, productivity down 38% in my office. love the site, love reading through the comments, sometimes find myself choking with laughter. Thanks!!!!

  16. dramashoes
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    I agree with what some have already said- a guide to in jokes and abbreviations. I finally had to go to WIkipedia to find out where “more zippers mule” and “work it like a claw + call me Randy” came from. I think a link to the archived blog entry where each curmudgeonism came from would be sufficient. Also Josh why do you do it? Do you really hate comics that much, or do you really like them and are so saddened by the current state of the comics page that you had to speak out? Maybe even a link to someone’s interview with you would work.

  17. Marissa
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    How about how the hell you’re ever supposed to tell anyone apart in Gil Thorp? I just see rectangular head after rectangular head, and though I’ve followed it (exclusively through this site) for ages, I still haven’t gotten a handle on who anyone is or what the hell they’re doing in Milford (is it Milford, isn’t it?)

  18. Old Fogeyette
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Since I didn’t know the provenance of “more zippers, mule,” and had no idea that Josh was actually up on Wikipedia, I just went to that article.

    It’s almost a FAQ in itself. Strongly recommend linking to it.

  19. milwaukee
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Don’t forget to warn potential jerkface types that if they can’t play nice with others they’ll be taken out to the Cockpit!

  20. the grene kni3t
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    I strongly agree about the need for a list of acronyms–I found myself confused for several weeks about words like Tea Diet and Foob. A guide to Curmudgeon-specific nicknames might be helpful, too. After weeks of following Mary Worth (augh! why?), it takes supreme effort to think of Ian and Toby as anything but Dr. and Mrs. Chinbeard.

  21. Derelict
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Frequently Asked Question: “Has anyone here noticed/mentioned/pointed out. . . ?”

    Answer: “Yes, more than 50 times in the last two weeks, and 8 times in this set of comments alone. Please read preceding comments before posting your lazer-like insights.”

  22. Dadzilla
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Why do girls look like they are throwing up in their mouth a little when I ask them out? I ask this frequently.

  23. Canuckguy
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I truly believe the quote in #12 belongs in a future FAQ. :)

    As for the answer to your question why don’t you, ummm, just put up some of the questions you either get asked all the time (I’m sure you know what they are, when they either come up in the discussion or get emailed to you, you roll your eyes and say “Not this again!” (As a complete noob, anything I email you about, for example, would fit. :) )) or questions you think you should post in the FAQ now *before* you anticipate a flood of people asking (and wonder why you haven’t got a flood of people asking it already).

    One of the ones I remember asking you in email when I first found the site was “where do you get all the comics from to comment on?” Your “Houston Chronicle” answer was good, but it wasn’t until a few days later until I found the link in a thread here. More information about where Josh gets his comics to read can be found on the Internet.

    The auxiliary question “why don’t you talk about [name of strip which isn't mentioned in this blog]?” would be good too.

  24. Bill James
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]


    I would agree that a list of links would be nice; not just to sites where the comics could be found, but to other sites that discuss/lampoon/lambast comics.

  25. monkeyhawk
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    The problem with FAQs is: the people who should read them never do.

    For one thing, most FAQs don’t include the most frequently asked questions. Number One for this particular grope would be, “Am I the only one who’s noticed that Aldo Kelrast looks like Captian Kangaroo?” The answer, of course, is “No.”

    A guide to acromyms might be helpful, I suppose, but if anyone reads more than a couple of days and can’t figure out what FOOB refers to, I hope I owe them money. I was never quite sure why Gil Thorp gets (DT) exclusivity — as opposed to (DT)MF, (DT)SF, (DT)DT — but, as with any theology, I’ve come to accept some incongruities as just the way it is. Sort of like transubstantiation or predestination or sending in your love offering for a prayer cloth.

    Naked came I into in this cyberfellowship — not having a clue what “More zippers, Mule!” or “Work it like a claw and call me Randy” meant. I accept now that my slavish devotion to eight-grade punctuation might subject me to Margo-esque ridicule. Eventually, though, the CCC enlightened me and I am a better person for learning the tenets of Curmudgeondom as a natural evolution of my spiritual growth.

    Now then. Where can I find more information on licorice?

  26. Jackilope
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I am now a frequent visitor of this site — having discovered it around June or so. I’ve tried to do research to figure out the “More zippers, mule” and the significance of a “Frank” cap …. and still don’t understand “Roadside” yet. My suggestion is if you’re marketing something, there needs to be a link or history as to the humor in it.

    To assist with the “GR” before Anthony question — it’s because he comes off as sooooooo old – esp. with the doofy mustache … it’s a “Grandpa” type nickname. Because he comes off as a wuss and boring sort compared to Lizard’s other suitors … “Blandthony” also is another suitable name. I’ve never despised such a character in all my comics reading as that kid.

  27. Cranky
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    “On their website, do the FOOBs blink at everyone or is it just me?”

  28. NotThatGuy
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    “More zippers, mule!” is in Wikipedia? I love this modern era.

    I agree with the suggestions above:

    – Explanation of acronyms
    – Brief history of comic or link to same
    – Link to “inside joke” reference comics
    – Warnings for inappropriate behavior (ad hominem attacks, political ranting, etc.)
    – Intro as to why you began the blog
    – Links to merchandise
    – Your phone number, in case we really gotta tell you something.

  29. NotThatGuy
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    No. 14 wrote: For one thing, most FAQs don’t include the most frequently asked questions. Number One for this particular grope would be, “Am I the only one who’s noticed that Aldo Kelrast looks like Captian Kangaroo?”

    Yes, you are, because the comparison du jour is Aldo = grAnthony.

  30. Islamorada Girl
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    I can explain [DT] GT. It means “Death to Gil Thorp”. Early on, I was so angered and frustrated by the awful art and nonsensical, muscular Christianity storylines of this particular strip, I declared a fatwah (religious holy war) on it thusly:

    Fatwah! Fatwah!
    Death to Gil Thorp!

    Thank you.

    And it sort of became a catchphrase like this: [DT]GT.

    Gil Thorp really sucks, in other words.

    Not that I’m so special or anything, but that’s how it all came about. And now you know the rest of the story.

  31. Islamorada Girl
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    If anyone else has a different version of DTGT, please correct me. Many other Cards were involved in the hating of poor old Gil.

    Cards are the Comics College of Cardinals, Josh’s faithful old irregulars, who mostly post off the Mothershp, in the forums. We welcome everyone, as long as you play nicely with others.

    The Mothership is what the Cards call this site.

  32. treedweller
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    A quick description of how to view Sunday comics on the HouChron page might be useful.

    Until/unless Josh [doesn't] post[s] the answer to the question “Where can I find [x comic]?” The answer is: How the heck did you people get here in the first place if you can’t do a basic search?

  33. marta
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    FAQ- How about referrals to sites with complementry info or additional interest about comics that are regularly discussed. I am thinking of that great Mary Worth take off on

  34. treedweller
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Also: What is a Plugger? Not only a nice FAQ for this site, but also one of the great philosophical queries of our time.

  35. Ken eL
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    In the spirit of “everyone talks about the comics, but no one ever does anything about them;”

    “Josh, what can I do to help get a comic strip taken out of my newspaper?”

    Surely the energy generated and expelled on your website can be focused to acheive something for the common good. Shouldn’t we all target a particular strip and start writing letters to editors and see if we can get it removed?

  36. Albatross
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:47 am [Reply]

  37. phil
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    “Why is Mary Worth so Awesome?” – that really needs to be in there – plus – why do you never rag on Cathy – my god the same joke over and over – two weeks of I have a big purse, three weeks of what the f to wear to the office , 4 weeks of I have a lot of electronic gadgets – “why, Josh, do you never shoot this fish in a barrel?”

  38. Jessica
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Re: #7 – yeah, seriously, could we get rid of the scantily clad bobbies ads? I’m not severely opposed to the ads being there themselves, but couldn’t it be toned down to “work appropriate” ads? My employer has yet to block this site…and I kind of hope it stays that way :)

  39. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Ken eL: One of the greatest days in Chicago Tribune history was when the editors finally shipped Fred Bassett to that great puppy mill in the sky. You should have read the howling rants they got from Chinnuts (there’s a FAQ) in retirement homes!

  40. carla
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    34. Well, what finally killed Garfield (in the LA Times?)

  41. Ubiq
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Q: Does Molly understand the hostility towards her?
    A. No, she does not.

  42. HappyNoodleGirl
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mary Worth kinda reminds me of the first time I got high, except that Toby’s not doubled over pointing and laughing at the casket in the third panel.

  43. Davis
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Why do we read comics that irritate us?

    Remember how bad Ernie Bushmiller’s “Nancy” was?

  44. klipper
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    #5 – I agree with sheila, an explanation of slogans would be great!

  45. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Josh, would CafePress happen to have an item such as this swimwear? I think this suit would look great on our host and certain other Cardinals, especially with the word roadside emblazoned on it.

    As Molly would say, “Woof.”

  46. Meghan
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been waiting for the Captain Kangaroo comparison to come out somewhere in all of Aldomania!

  47. Joe
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Why does Marmaduke exist?

  48. Donut
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Maybe a brief primer on the mechanics of posting comments: how to make a link, do a quote, bold and italicize.

    There seem to be regular comments from people who can’t figure out how to link to a particular site.

  49. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Donut. Most people on the internet do not understand “a href=” tags. It would be nice if there were a primer on that. Maybe a link to WebMonkey would help.

  50. Gatormom
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    How about explaining how comics are colored? Explain why Toby started off in a red dress for the funeral and ended up in blue.

    Or look at today’s (10/14), where in the first panel she’s wearing long sleeves. Last panel — her suit has lost 10 inches. Maybe Aldo hacked it off from the grave?

    Seriously, who colors these things? Why does a guy have blonde hair one day, brown the next? Are all the color guys drunk?

  51. Air Forbes
    October 14th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    I still can’t figure out the answer to the coloring question myself – how can somebody’s clothes change colors from one day to the next during the weekday strips? Do they hand off the coloring jobs to different people i.e, Bob you do Monday’s strip; Alice, you’ve got Tuesday, etc? Or is it just one person for the whole week with a very short memory?

  52. Mr Froth
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    This question may be an answering itself, but if all my questions and comments are ignored, should I lurk elsewhere? This would be the third time I was kicked out of the audio-visual club… Nerds can be so cruel! I guess its back to the Carny for me…

  53. mattt
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    ““Oh MY, I could have the sexy cop, the daring helicopter pilot, or this passive-aggressive martyr-syndrome metrosexual man-boy… because he’s president of the Astronomy Club!”


    #45 Please, tell me you’re kidding.

    An acronym primer would be good–not just what they mean but where they came from, if it’s not obvious.

  54. Albatross
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Hey! I just forgot the close-anchor on my last post! It could happen to anybody who needed to go projectile vomit from reading FOOB!

    Seriously, there are tons of guides on how to use the ‘href’ tags and such. They’re called HTML Primers.

  55. nancy
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Frequently your comments and those of others have made me laugh out loud. This is rare; usually even watching Monty Python re-runs or reading Terry Pratchett makes me smile heartily, not laugh. High praise therefore.
    To the FAQ; how do you maintain your standards of snarkiness without becoming repetitive and trite?

  56. Gabe
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    The artist usually does the coloring jobs on Sunday strips, and the syndicate contracts out coloring on the weekday strips for the internets and those papers that run color weekday comics. This leads to coloring differences oftentimes, and contractors not paying attention to the context of the comic (Mr. Lockhorn commenting on Mrs. BLUE dress that is obviously colored green, fer instnance).


  57. weiser
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    My biggest question is about posting-protocol.

    Do I make my thought provoking and witty remarks about Aldo’s funeral (or lack-thereof) here on this Mega post? Do I go back to the last “regular” post? The last MW featured post? If I know the rules I’ll follow them. Not that I have anything “worth”while to say, this whole funeral-less episode has been so un”worth”y of Aldo

    I also need to know where to find the latest and greatest Mary Commentary so the posting-protocol needs to be clear to other folks too. As it is, I’m forced to rush home from work and read through all the comments from the past several posts hoping for a morsel of Mary goodness and/or further proof from MoonCity that Aldo’s not really dead.

  58. kingklash
    October 14th, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    “Can someone with Chronic CamelToe ever truly acheive closure?”

  59. Bombcar
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    I would second the inside joke FAQ, which should just be links to the appropriate posts. The ones I can think of are “found on the internet,” “finger quoting,” etc.

  60. Aaron
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    What’s going on in that ad at the top left of the screen? Did that man just buy that woman a bra with an am/fm radio in it and for optimum sound he has to put his head to her chest?

  61. Donut
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    No, that “ad” actually refers to a pretty funny commercial at the site the ad is promoting. (He’s the only male ballet dancer in a company of females.)

    I was glad I clicked on that particular ad, as there are some VERY funny commercials. And some dumb ones. Kind of like here, really…

  62. monkeyhawk
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, Bombcar (#58),

    Perhaps you don’t understand the concept of Inside Jokes.

    Nobody creates an Inside Joke. Inside jokes just happen. “Molly doesn’t understand the animosity…” emerges from the curmudgenal ooze and takes a life of its own. “More information can be found on the internet” just happens. Like shit. (In more ways than one.)

    I mean, if you walked into a Catholic church would you stop all the procedings to stand up and ask why everyone’s touching their foreheads, belly buttons and shoulders at the same time? It’s a Catholic inside joke. Like when they finally all do something protestants hear that’s familiar like recite the Lord’s Prayer then, when it comes to “For thine is the power…” they stop! It’s a Catholic Inside Joke just to spot any non-Catholics in the room. That’s what Inside Jokes are for!

    Sorry, but Inside Jokes are inappropriate for FAQs. Have you ever read a FAQ, f’r cryin’ out loud?! FAQs answer “frequently asked questions” such as, “How can I bestow unmitigated praise on my insurance man?” not “Who do I sue to get even with the snake who sold me health insurance that covers only badger bites suffered within the Arctic Circle?”

    Farley *the Dog!* died for Apwil’s sins.

    Deal with it.

  63. lesles
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    #44 – struth, dingo, cobber, mate. curmudgeon budgiesmugglers like that’d be you beaut bonza! dinkum. (that was special just for you, dahlink. even for an antipodean, putting it on like that can strain something if you’re not careful).

    if we go those speedos, though, we’d all have to get little tatts of josh to go in the display window.

  64. James Schend
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Until/unless Josh [doesn’t] post[s] the answer to the question “Where can I find [x comic]?” The answer is: How the heck did you people get here in the first place if you can’t do a basic search?

    To be fair, for many comics leads to the “Official” site which (for some moronic reason only the syndicates understand) show a comic that’s 2 weeks old. Why they show only 2-week-old comics when there are a dozen newspapers that show the current one is a mystery for the ages.

  65. suseyblue
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    How *do* you read the Sunday comics at the Houston Chronicle?

  66. Donut
    October 14th, 2006 at 2:47 pm [Reply]


    You cheat it. Go to a regular day comic. Look at the URL. Notice that there’s a date there. Change the date to Sunday.

    Violas! You’re reading the Sunday comix!

  67. Shea
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    First, just a note, really. A good place to get your daily comics, free, is from the Houston Chronicle: You can build your own page that updates every day except Sunday and you don’t have to keep scrolling to the main list as with the syndicators’ sites. It’s how I get my daily fix (I’m not in the pay of the Chronicle, just offering up a suggestion).

    My suggestion for a FAQ might be along the lines of “How do you choose which comics you critique on any given day?”

  68. Shea
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Also: The SF Chronicle has a decent collection of current Sunday comics: They have for example Mutts, Blondie, Bizarro, Six Chix, many more.

  69. treedweller
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    #51 Mr Froth–lurking is a personal thing, and you may choose either option.

    Another suggestion: perhaps a google primer, with tips like, “Sometimes the best link for your purposes is not the first one you see in your search results.”

  70. Adam de Quebec
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    I’m still a relative newbie, and would like to know which external sites have the best and most easily accessible selections of strips to read on a daily basis.

  71. Poteet
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Wow, finally I know where the zippers/mule quote came from. Thanks! Today has been worthwhile.

    If it were possible, I’d appreciate a place to go when I’m having trouble with the site (posting on the forum, changing my profile) so I can try the more obvious things I should try before bothering the Pope himself. I bet I’m not the only Curmudgeon with less-than-adequate computer knowledge.

    Also, if there were a place set up for answers to FAQs, I hope/assume it would be possible for volunteer Curmudgeons to provide answers so that Josh didn’t have to write them all himself. I bet he suffers enough reading the same question twenty times a week. And a general recommendation to read a lot of comments before asking questions might be helpful.

  72. MGArchitect
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    67 Shea:

    The problem with the SF site is that the comics are posted at 12 midnight pacific time. The chron posts at 12 midnight central time. So you can comment on new comics here 2 hours before the west coast sites….assuming you would rather post here than have a life.

  73. ben
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Shea, anything that include “Six Chix” is not a “decent” selection. It’s the work of Shub-Niggurath.

  74. Proteus
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Thank you Shea #66! The build your own comics page is great. Who knew? (OK, yes the tag for it is sitting right there in the in plain sight, but still). It’s a great time saver. Productivity in my office just went up 5.7%. I also leanred the Sunday hack method here on CC.

    Maybe have one static FAQ with abbreviations (DTGT) and conventions (Josh = the pope, major contributors = cardinals) and web usage for newbies (how to post and link). Then have a periodic FAQ-fest for the most recent terms (Chinnuts, Foobs, Roadsides) and tropes (Captain Kangaroo can be found on the internet).

  75. Zorba the Geek
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Besides the Houston Chronicle, linked above, you can also find lots of daily comics at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer and at the Washington Post.

  76. Zorba the Geek
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and also check out Comic Alert for hundreds and hundreds of comics (including webcomics) most of which you’ve never heard of.

  77. lesles
    October 14th, 2006 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    re #62 sorry, dingo. “dahlink” was meant to be for hogenmogen (previous possible casting of aspersions on my provenance. the cad). got to remember the preview process is there for a reason. blame it on the smugglers.

  78. Genevieve
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    #36, I suspect that making fun of Cathy is kind of like making fun of the kid with Down’s Syndrome or the kid with braces on his legs.
    Also we have to give Cathy props for finally getting married. Sure it was to Irving (and I suspect it was because he was there. The Everest of on again/ off again boyfriends in the comic world) but there was a change.

  79. Uncle Lumpy
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    For the FAQ, how about a guide for newcomers – something like “I’m new here — what should I know?” The answer could organize links to an acronym guide, posting etiquette, table of running jokes (with links, and asterisks for tired jokes and observations, e.g. licorice, Keeshan), list of comics sources, etc.

    Woulda helped me.

  80. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    lesles, I will, on occasion, answer to the name of “dahlink.” After all, my thesis was on urban development of rural areas. Plus, in certain moonlight I could be mistaken for Mr. Douglas (Eddy Arnold). In certain moonlight do you resemble Eva Gabor?

    My God, that paragraph reads like a week’s dialogue from Apt. 3G.

  81. Ouish
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Is there any way to read Mary Worth online without futzing with things in my computer that I shouldn’t be futzing with?

  82. monkeyhawk
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Genevieve (#36):

    So who will lose her virginity first? Lizardbreath or Cathy?

  83. MGArchitect
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Dear Mr. Fruhlinger:

    My name is Ian Cameron, also known locally as Dr. Chinbeard. I am the English Literature director of the residents of Charterstone in Santa Royale, California. Before our beloved friend, Mr. Aldo Kelrast, died due to natural causes, he left the sum of 15 dollars US in the petty cash box with the night doorman. After due consultation with my colleagues of the apartment, the Charterstone Bridge Club Treasury, I am duly mandated to arrange with you for the possible transfer of a portion of the 15 dollars. I am looking for investors and readers of your website’s FAQ or purchasers of your website merchandise to invest a portion of this money. It will also please you to note that for your involvement in the business, we have agreed to offer you 30% of the total, 60% will be for those of us in Charterstone while the remaining 10% is set aside for defrayal of any expenses that may be incurred locally and internationally in course of Mr. Kelrast’s recent funeral expenses.

    The above arrangement will make for the maximum confidentiality as the nature of the business demands.

    If the above proposal interests you, please forward the following particulars immediately for prompt action. They are the names of the banks, addresses of the banks, account numbers, phone and fax numbers for Rex Morgan, Mark Trail, Bucky Katt, and Zeeba.

    Against the foregoing background, I wish to draw your attention to the fact that we have put in greater number of years of personal intervention of many local residents and would not want our last years to dent our reputation, therefore maturity and topmost secrecy should be our watchword in keeping with this deal.

    Your’s faithfully,

    Dr. Ian “Chinbeard” Cameron
    Santa Royale, CA 90210

  84. Crankenstank
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    I think you should have an IAQ — infrequently asked questions — they’re far more interesting.

  85. Other_Sally
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I’d just like to say that I would go for the metrosexual astronomy enthusiast over a “sexy cop” in a heartbeat.

    Anthony, however, is far from metrosexual.

    And he’s creepy.

  86. Gatormom
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    One last beating of the colorization drum:

    Some of these artists are making GOBS o’ MONEY from these strips. And they can’t frigging bother to color their own creation? I mean, how HARD can it be?

  87. Harry Paratestes
    October 14th, 2006 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Few people shoot down ‘Cathy’ for the same reason that no-one shoots down ‘Love is’: it takes a considerable force of will in order to read such saccharine, trivialized intellectual tripe, and another huge dose of will in order to remember it enough to slam it.

    Reading ‘Love is’ or ‘Cathy’ is like projectile vomiting: a little is just as awful as a lot.

  88. comix
    October 14th, 2006 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    what is “a pauline” ? ;)

  89. Ubiq
    October 14th, 2006 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    87 -

    1. An object often found imperiled.
    2. The state of being imperiled.

    Related terms: Penelope Pitstop, Gwendolyne

  90. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    #87 comix: Ubiq is pulling your leg. A Pauline does not refer to the perils of Pauline but to a Ballard Street comic — Pauline (click on name) — in which an elderly woman is supposedly bonkers but instead seems to be masturbating digitally with her sagging and fallen genitalia. Invoke her name when you don’t want to use terminology such as jack off, jerk off, shine the Genoa salami, glaze the doughnut, fruhlinger your frisky frump, or such.

    Example: Mark Trail was excited that Molly would be spending a month with him in Lost Forest. After her disappearance, all he could do was Pauline himself.

    Does this help?

  91. Islamorada Girl
    October 14th, 2006 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    What’s a chinnut? ‘Splain, please.

  92. ratsonjulia
    October 14th, 2006 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Given the publicity this site’s gotten, how many of the writer’s of any of the lampooned strips (besides SF & possibly PBS–& I think Scott Adams has been mentioned a time or 2) gotten in touch, admitted to lurking, cajoled for coverage or whatever? Does that influence commentary at all?

    Also, & perhaps more importantly–is it writer’s or writers’ or writers? I always get that mixed up.

    Also: Cartoon Violence is the best part of Friday for me. Just wanted to say that.

  93. Marc
    October 14th, 2006 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    My noobish question many many moons ago:

    What does (DT)GT mean?

  94. Uncle Lumpy
    October 14th, 2006 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    #90 IGirl – Grandpa Foob’s chin looks like a (um, er) – scrotum

    #91 – Writers = 2 or more people who write
    Writer’s = belonging to one writer
    Writers’ = belonging to 2 or more writers

    #92 – “(Death to) Gil Thorp” – a reference to the fact that many readers find this strip, er, not very good.

  95. ratsonjulia
    October 14th, 2006 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Thanks UL.

    Curse you, apostrophe! My only weakness!

  96. Summerhouse
    October 14th, 2006 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    I would point out that the change-the-date tactic at the still doesn’t get you many of the Sunday comics. You get Mary and you get A3G, but you don’t get Get Fuzzy or PBS, for instance. wouldn’t show me any comic, ever, until some sainted person here put a link to instructions on how to make my Norton security understand that I wanted comics. That changed my life. *sniff* (Maybe for the worse, but it changed it.)

  97. Red Greenback
    October 14th, 2006 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone called Anthony, (Gr)anthony, Blandthony, et al…Ned Flanthony yet?

    Also, was Aldo “hangin’ high” before he became a roadside “gig”?

  98. KT
    October 14th, 2006 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Molly doesn’t understand the hostility directed by monkeyhawk (#61) at the concept of explaining in-jokes.

    Yes, I’d say in-jokes damn well do need to be explained somewhere, for sanity’s sake! I myself had no freakin’ idea why “Gil Thorp” was abbreviated as (DT)GT (until Islamorada Girl (#29) explained it. Thank you!)

  99. Shannon
    October 14th, 2006 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    FAQ: How many plugs could a Plugger plug, if I Plugger could plug plugs?

  100. leathermessiah
    October 14th, 2006 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Two comments on today’s comics, which actually fit in nicely with the theme of this metapost:

    1) What the **** is going on in Apartment 3-G?!
    2) And seriously, what the **** is happening in Gil Thorp?

  101. AwfulArt
    October 14th, 2006 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Kabibble Kabaret — By Hershfield

    Dear Mr. Kabibble
    Do Chrildren Keep Parents Together ?

    Or Apart == It All Depends On How Serious The Fight Is…

  102. Lu
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    About in-jokes: The whole point of an FAQ is to decrease the repetitive questions from newbies, so it does seem appropriate to address them somehow. I like the idea of linking to the various posts that spawned the joke. It is not so much that I disapprove of the explanation of in-jokes, it is more that a simple explanation really can’t do them justice, not to mention it is just plain fun to peruse the evolution of these things.

  103. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    We may also want to clue the newbies into the name Camel Toeby or, simply, “Toeby.” In the strip Mary Worth, Dr. Ian Cameron’s wife, Toby, has a Jane Russell labia that lifts and separates on its own. The puck bunny can get camel toe even while wearing a dress (check it out). Over time, writers kept mentioning the afflication until, finally, her name became Toeby instead of Toby. So, you see, it isn’t a typo.

    And, yes, we do have lives.

  104. Confused
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Why are we here?

    Is there a god?

    If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there, does it make a sound?

    Does anyone laugh at Redeye anymore?

    Does anyone read Redeye anymore?

    Will I ever get COTW?

  105. Harry Paratestes
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Josh could do the best of both worlds: Take all the inside jokes and line them up in a column on the left, then take all the answers and line them up in a column on the right. Under no circumstances should a truthful matchup occur. That way all the answers are there, but one must put in effort to find the truth, which will make it all the sweeter.

  106. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Harry Paratestes #104, to quote septugenarian succubus Mary Worth: You can’t handle the truth!

  107. Harry Paratestes
    October 14th, 2006 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Whenever the truth comes knocking at my door, I shout “go away, I’m searching for the truth”, so it goes away, dejected. :-)

  108. Harry Paratestes
    October 14th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    I just noticed that Cameltoeby’s sleeve miraculously shortened itself from long to short sleeve in one panel. Was she wearing the bicep equivalent of leg warmers?

  109. monkeyhawk
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    More links, Mule!

    C’mon, now. Among some worthwhile suggestions offered here, there seem to be a lot of FAQ propoosals that would doom Josh to way more work than necessary. Links to read strips? Okay, perhaps. But how-to-hack’s Sunday glitch and a primer of “a href=” tags and a chronological catalog of cameltoe sightings and whatever happened to Scrotumjowls’ prime rib dinner and what size would Tinsley’s duck be if he visited Lost forest… I mean, when would the Pope and Mrs. C have time to go roadside?

    Or vacation, for that matter?

  110. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Monkeyhawk, we are here to serve as an intervention. If Pope Josh and his wife continue to have time for vacations, roadsides, and Paulinization of Mrs. C’s fields, they could end up like Sara Evans and her uber-Republican husband. We’re not trying to drive him to drink or send his car off of a cliff; we care!

    Now where’s my lavendar funeral outfit?

  111. Doug Puthoff
    October 14th, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Why has Josh NEVER commented on the piece of rat vomit “Real-Life Adventures?”

    What species is Jesus Christ in “Pluggers?” (Not to mention “Mallard Fillmore?”

    Do you believe, as I do, that “B.C.,” instead of taking place eons ago, actually takes place in the post-apocalyptic future?

    Why is it still okay to make fun of hillbillies in “Snuffy Smith?”

    Why hasn’t Beetle Bailey ever fought in a war?

    How many “Family Circus” parodies exist?

    What the heck ever happend Chad from “Zits?”

    How much gel does Dagwood use on his hair?”

    If one of those “Pearls Before Swine” crodiles eats the Zebra, would it be considered cannabalism?

  112. Doug Puthoff
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    11-15 MW: “Death is clear cut. It’s life that isn’t.” I wonder what bumper sticker she got that from. And it’s been about a month since Aldo drove off the cliff. When the Hayley Mills do WE get closure?

  113. Ben
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    Did Darby Conley mean for Mac to be the Cousin Oliver of “Get Fuzzy?”

    Herb has a bowling ball shaped head and Jamaal has a bowling pin shaped head. Significance?

    Why doesn’t Mallard Fillmore seem to have any friends? (No, scratch that one. I’ve already figured it out.)

    Any plans to analyze “Heart of the City?”

  114. Dingo
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    All I can say is this had BETTER NOT be the end of the Mary Worth saga of Aldo. Since when do flower vendors ply their wares in cemeteries? In the hagography of Mary’s life, you can spurn a man’s entreaties with flowers, cause your friends to lead him to drink, thereby causing his early death, but make amends by… buying flowers and placing them atop his casket. Yes, Mary, that’s closure. Not the same as the closure Aldo will have with a cold, cold stone atop his body instead of your cold, cold body. This makes me want to stage a Purple Rose of Cairo, come into the strip, and bitchslap all of you (plus give Toeby the Mother of All Camel Toes).

    Over in Apt. 3G, it seems that Lu Ann met Dracula last night. Yes, Lu Ann, come. Come. Come into my arms. Let me feel the wonder of all of you.

  115. LucBoardwalk
    October 14th, 2006 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    Is the moldering corpse of Therese buried under the playhouse in grAnthony’s basement? Or is it neatly packaged in his freezer?

  116. BewaretheCreeper
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    FAQ for me, What’s a camel toe?

  117. MGArchitect
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    On Mary Worth (Sunday): Okay, it ALL makes sense now. In the fourth panel there is a metal guard rail ridiculously placed in the cemetery. Someone (Mary) obviously removed this from the cliff before Aldo’s “Evel Knevel” jump into the ravine. How apropos that it should be placed near to his grave.

    Sunday’s Pearls Before Swine is “Shooting Milk Out of Your Nose” Funny. Check it Out.

  118. monkeyhawk
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    More information on camel toes can be found on the Internet.

    Not *everything* is a Comics Curmudgeon in-joke.

  119. Bombcar
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    #115, try (note: camel toe NSFW)

  120. Meander
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    So no-one’s discussing the catfight over at Luann?

  121. Len
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    Josh, is there a way you can program the blog so that visitors can mark what posts they’ve read, and which ones are as yet unread? Maybe even be notified when new posts have arrived since last visit?

  122. BewaretheCreeper
    October 15th, 2006 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    Are Tiffany and Luann camel toes?!?

  123. Inspector Chalupa
    October 15th, 2006 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    I am of the opinion that sites like this benefit from the lack of an FAQ, for Darwinistic reasons. If you’re clever enough to figure it out, you’re in like Flynn. If not, well – go read “Cathy” or “Ziggy” or, God help us, “Mallard Fillmore”.

  124. Red Greenback
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    FAQ answer: Cameltoe= Deta O’ Venus. …Oh Yeah!

  125. Craig Shergold
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    The old line on USENET was that when a newsgroup acquired a FAQ, it’s purpose for existing was over.

  126. Red Greenback
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    Not directly related to this thread, but somewat of an internal FAQ. I have seen Marmaduke called a •really•big•dog• Heck, even Howard Hugeâ„¢ is only about 1.25″ max. and as thick as a sheet of newsprint. I go sleepy-bye now.

  127. Ouish
    October 15th, 2006 at 3:02 am [Reply]

  128. Ouish
    October 15th, 2006 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    Actually, I did notice Love Is… today. A paper from across the river began leaving sample (I hope) copies in front of my door this week, probably as part of a plane to increase their territory, and they carry it, along with FOOB, Sally Forth, Garfield, Unfunny Duck, Family Circus, and others even more hilarious. Today’s Love Is was indeed special, because the art explained something I’ve always wondered about. The reason the two lovers don’t have genitalia or even butt cracks is that they are slugs who walk around on their bifurcated tails.

  129. AppleGirl
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    Josh, it looks like everyone here already wrote your FAQ. Complete with links to comics online, Aldo = Captain Kangaroo, FOOBS blink for everyone in FOOBville, and the history of [DT]GT. Just link to this thread and you’re done!

  130. Dub Not Dubya
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s FOOB:

    Look at Mewedith in that last panel. She is now a giant mutant, taller than her parents, just like what happened to Ape-Real a few weeks back. Maybe that’s not really cotton candy but Soylent Green or something.

    Sunday’s MT:

    Molly can’t understand Jack Elrod’s hostility to deer.

  131. Islamorada Girl
    October 15th, 2006 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    You’re a Flop!
    (for Granthony)

    You’re so bland
    You’re a milk museum
    You’re so bland
    You make vanilla slam
    You’re so bland
    Your the opposite of neon!
    You’re a melody from a song by Celine Dion
    You’re an Amish bonnet,
    A Hallmark sonnet,
    You’re the color of a mouse.
    You’re so bland
    You’re a plain cheese pizza
    You’re the frame on the Mona Lisa
    Liz is a worthless chick, a total wreck, a flop,
    But if you’re the floor, she’s the mop!

    You’re no Blondie
    You’re so bland
    You’re like lemon shandy
    You’re the beige light
    Of a winter night on the Plain
    You’re a grass allergy
    You’re a WalMart salary,
    You’re such a pain
    You’re such slime
    You’re frozen dinner,
    You’ll never, ever be a NASCAR winner
    If FOOB is a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
    Then, baby, you’re like Elmer’s
    And you’re a flop!

    -with very, very deep apologies to Cole Porter

  132. yellojkt
    October 15th, 2006 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    Some sort of required reading list would be helpful. Like the Top 10 must read posts that would include:

    More Zippers, Mule

    Nobody would be allowed to post a question until they e-mailed you a screen shot of their history list proving they had read the course material.

  133. Harmless Eccentric
    October 15th, 2006 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    Here’s the one I’ve always wanted answered:

    Do the artists read this blog?

    I have to believe some of them do… if only because we might represent a large percentage of the readership of “Gil Thorpe.”

  134. NicoleMN6
    October 15th, 2006 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    And now, my first request for help from the informal FAQ — I just don’t “get” today’s Garfield. (And that makes me very, very ashamed.) Is Odie watching doggie porn, thus traumatizing Jon and Garfield, also because they can’t find the remote to change the channel? Any takers?

  135. Gatormom
    October 15th, 2006 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    And once again, in Sunday’s MW, Toeby’s suit has again changed colors, this time to a particularly ugly mauve.

    I’m not sure why this whole color stupidity bothers me so much, other than IT IS SO EASY TO FIX, YOU BOOBS.

  136. mattt
    October 15th, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    I think Sunday’s MW proves for sure Aldo is dead. Notice how the temperature around Aldo’s grave has dropped so much we can see Mary’s breath in the last panel–clearly indicating the presence of Aldo’s ghostly…um…ghost.

  137. John C Fremont
    October 15th, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Okay, maybe I’m just overreacting to a couple of early posts, but DON’T YOU DARE GET RID OF THE BOOBY ADS! God bless the booby ads. Without them, I’d be all at sea. Or something like that… and is very much worth a click.

  138. Papa
    October 15th, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MW 10/15: Short of Aldo’s clammy hand bursting from the fresh grave and grappling Mary’s ankle to extract some supernatural justice, I think this is the best ending to the Tragedy of Aldo Kelrast that we can hope for. Nice and melancholy, only mildly platitudinous. We’re spared trite sermonizing on drunk driving and are left with a morose thought that fits equally well to Aldo’s life, the Charterstone Intervention squad, or Mary’s personal sense of responsibility.

    R.I.P., Aldo Kelrast.

  139. Klipper
    October 15th, 2006 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    #133: I don’t get it either! I thought maybe Odie wasn’t jumping around like a moron sat in a campfire so Garfield and Jon were scared.

  140. Weasel Boy
    October 15th, 2006 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    #133 and #138: I think Jon and Garfield were both looking for the remote and panicking because they couldn’t find it. The (finger quotin’ Margo) joke (finger quotin’ Margo) is that Odie was sitting on it.

  141. Len
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Off the Metapost topic — I found the Charterstone Gang visiting Lio on Sunday:

    There goes the neighborhood!

  142. Richard Onley
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    #129: “Sunday’s FOOB:

    I doubt I’m the only one who noticed the subtle undercurrent of apprehension in this strip. Look at the faces on Mike and the children in the opening panel, and compare them to Deanna’s stance of haughty possessiveness. Note how the same atmosphere continues to manifest itself for seven full frames as, under the portentous chill of autumn gales, the children make cautionary overtures into their expected course of behavior as mother looks on in grudging near-approval.
    Only when Mike, poor Mike, twice tricked into fatherhood, cowed to the point of making admissions that women comprise the stronger sex, the gelded stallion who epitomizes the ideal first husband (and future alimony cow) of every privilege-grasping nineties-era semi-feminist, breaks the tension with an open act of defiance do we return at last to a recognizable semblance of childhood, enchanced by Deanna’s Cathy-inspired look of insurmountable resignation.

    Sunday’s MT:

    So let’s eat Bambi’s mother!

    #133: “And now, my first request for help from the informal FAQ — I just don’t ‘get’ today’s Garfield. (And that makes me very, very ashamed.)

    They’re frantically looking for theTV remote, which Odie is sleeping on. Disappointing, isn’t it?

  143. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    It would be nice if Rex Morgan dropped out of his own strip, like Barney Google and Judge Parker, and we were treated forever after to the Snuffy-Loweezy-Jughaid misadventures of Elvis and company, as Elvis pursues his quijotic search for respect in crackville. Also, I like how, in a household of obvious gluesniffers, the kid has a model airplane.

  144. suseyblue
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    My thanks to Donut for the Sunday comics Chron tip, for saving me countless more hours of frustration & despair.

    Molly has become very important to our family.

  145. Albatross
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Back when “The Norm” was still writing, and leading up to The Norm proposing to his girlfriend Reine, I once read an entire month ahead in the strip by advancing the date in the URL line.

    This is why I can’t fathom why all the decent comic strips end: four times a year you sit down and cough up three months worth of strips like an illustrated short story. The rest of the year you sit back and roll in the dough.

    The Norm was pretty good, and Bloom County was better than Opus. We’ve got ‘The Boondocks’ on its way out. And of course Calvin and Hobbes, from whence sprang the knock-off image of Calvin urinating on various automotive logos, so that twenty years later I could be driving through the Czech Republic and spot this. All these comics, even The Boondocks, are better than B.C., Wizard of Id and Mallard Filmore combined.

    It seems like anyone clever enough to write a decent comic ends up having too much artistic integrity to want to turn it into a sinecure. Instead we have a Peter Principle that leaves us with the reactionary, entitled grandchildren of the original authors using the funnies as a platform for their religious and political grandstanding.

    Which might be okay, if they were at all funny.

    There’s your FAQ question, Josh: Why do the decent comic strips always quit?

  146. phil
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Why isn’t there some sort of cool website that could compile all the days comics and maybe even dump a hard copy to my printer so I could read them on the train? Maybe they could even print out news and editorials and even box scores. Why doesn’t someone invent this?

  147. Barbara E.
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I feel very smart this morning. I started reading CC about a month ago. If I encountered an acronym/inside joke/anything I didn’t “get”, I did one or more of the following:

    1) visited

    2) visited

    3) visited the site of the comic in question

    4) continued reading the comments; often the confusing thing is clarified farther on

    5) shrugged and forgot about it

    Finally, if you look at a drawing of Grandpa Foob and can’t figure out why he’s called “Grandpa Chinnuts”, the internet must scare and shock you on a regular basis.

    That is all.

  148. Emily
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Aaagh! Flight Deck doesn’t understand apostrophes! Third panel of today’s! “Not to mention your ruining my lunch.” Had to de-lurk just to put that out there. It hurts my brain, and it’s so freakin’ simple, surely there’s somewhere the writer could have gone to figure that out?

  149. suseyblue
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    In the second panel of Sunday’s MW, Toeby has for some reason has morphed into Madonna.

  150. Dingo
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    #141 Mike Patterson is not a gelded stallion. He’s more of a gelded Shetland pony. Y’know, one of them there ponies you find chained to a pole at a farmers (farmer’s? farmers’? farmer’s’? “farmers”?) market and forced to do nothing but walk in circles all day. Sort of like his father. And blanthony. Gosh, if Foobvilia is based on Lynn Patterson’s life, that Ontario town of hers must be filled with testosterone… oozing its way from the lifeless bodies of the men she’s destroyed.

  151. Uncle Lumpy
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    #130 IGirl -

    What a charming song!

    I can just hear Granthony trying to sing it – off key, mumbling the words, and with a pathetic little apology at the end.

  152. Dingo
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Kudos to Albatross (#144) for teaching me a new word today: sinecure. As a resident of the great state of Illinois, our local politics deal with this term all the time and yet I had never heard of it. This is why this site is so great. You never know what you’ll encounter or learn while lolling away a Sunday morning in your boxers. In the time I could have Paulined myself, I expanded my vocabulary. T’anks!

  153. Sheilagh
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    #127, Ouish, you got my vote for COTW! And I haven’t even seen the “Love Is…” in question.

    Are there actually people out there who think “Love Is…” is sweet or charming or something? If that strip really represented what “Love Is…” I’d be living alone in a shack in Montana brandishing a shotgun at intruders. Josh, how come you never rip it up? You have a duty, man! Pop the damned pus blister, already!

    Thank you.

  154. Dingo
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    “Pop the damned pus blister, already!” Sounds like something blanthony would say to Liz during sex.

  155. Summerhouse
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    #130 Islamorada Girl – Wow! That is so impressive! ‘grass allergy/Walmart salary’ – brilliant, and completely accurate. Ha! Oh, and ‘if you’re the floor, she’s the mop’ – Bwahahaha! I bow to you.

  156. anonymous
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    #99 – It is irrelevant what happens in the Gil Thorpe strip. The stories are basically all the same. Occasionally characters change. The point of Gil Thorpe is to just revel in its awfullness. It is truly the most badly drawn strip out there. No one knows WHY it’s still being published. There must be GT fans aplenty out there in Readerville, but the strip has been running for donkey’s years now and I’ve never ever met anyone who said “hey, GT is getting good this week!”.

  157. Richard Onley
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    #147: “Aaagh! Flight Deck doesn’t understand apostrophes! Third panel of today’s! “Not to mention your ruining my lunch.” Had to de-lurk just to put that out there. It hurts my brain, and it’s so freakin’ simple, surely there’s somewhere the writer could have gone to figure that out?

    Also not to mention your complaining about something that’s quite grammatically correct . . .
    “Ruining” is a noun there (I think it’s called a “Gerald” or something . . .)

  158. Krazy Kat
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Yes, a glossary would help. I’ve been here a while and even I have a hard time following abbreviations fo comics I don’t read regularly.

  159. Flealick
    October 15th, 2006 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    #141 – Yes, it was disappointing to learn that the strip did have a point, especially such a lame one. The way the first panel made my brain hurt this morning was kind of exciting, though. I think it could induce seizures in some of the duller children out there (which would be the sort of child that typically reads Garfield, I imagine).

    #137 – Exactly the point I was going to make (without the awesome Carrie reference – and apropos, as Carrie and Aldo seemed to be suffering from similarly stunted emotional development). For someone who thinks “Man’s inner life’s a mystery, and if drinking’s involved, his outer life’s history” is bumper-worthy, Mary’s statement is at least to the point, and shows some uncertainty about the virtue of her own actions. (To bad the pithiness will be underminded by a week of strips with the Charterstone gang recapping what happened today) I just wish Mary wasn’t spouting that shit-eating grin in Saturday’s strip and the first frame of Sunday’s–she looks less like someone stumbling upon a flower merchant and more like someone who has discovered the cemetery offers pony rides.

    A lot has happened in Aldomania, leading myself at least to have higher expecations for Mary Worth than were truly reasonable. I mean, dear God, why should anyone under 70 years young have any expectations of Mary Worth? If I had seen Sunday’s strip during week one of Aldo’s story arc, with Mary leaving roses on her unwanted suitor’s grave, it truly would have blown my mind. Of course, it is just like Mary, to give her the last word, when all Aldo gets for his last words are “Oh, no…”

  160. monkeyhawk
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Pony rides!


    Why, all of a sudden, so many references to pony rides?!?!

    This belongs in the FAQ.

  161. Doug Puthoff
    October 15th, 2006 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    To: Comic Strip writers and artist.

    From: The Commissioner of Comics

    Dear Sirs and Madams,

    Effecitve immediately, all references to “Sudoku” will no longer be allowed. The recent spate of “Sudoku”-themed strips,, commencing in the “Foxtrot” strip of Oct. 15 is threating to destory our industry.

    Anyone caught violating this order will be suspended for ten days. Further violations will result in the offending parties being make to replace either Leroy or Loretta in “The Lockhorns.”

    I’m sorry it had to come to this, but the “Sudoku”-strip fad has gone completely out of control.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Ian “Bud” Cameron, PhD
    Commissioner of Comics.

  162. Krazy Kat
    October 15th, 2006 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    How about a profile page where people with nothing better to do in life than gab about comics all day and night can post more info?
    Some have URL links to a personal page but a CC members profile page would be pretty kewl.

  163. Poteet
    October 15th, 2006 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    #130 — Islamorada Girl, ‘s wonderful, ‘s marvelous! And I think Cole would agree if he read the strip.

    MT — I usually like the MT Sunday strips, especially since they may be the only “nature” exposure some people get these days. But I LOVE this strip. Sorry, Bambi, but Elrod is absolutely right about the ecological damage you are doing, and it needed to be said. And now, Jack, please resolve the current Molly story happily and then give her a looooong vacation. She’s done enough for you this year.

  164. teenchy
    October 15th, 2006 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Will Cathy and Irving adopt a Chinese, Guatemalan or Russian baby? Or will they go with IVF or surrogacy? Unless the strip is like Fox Trot or others in which the characters never age, her biological clock struck midnight many years ago.

  165. Mibbitmaker
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    My Farcically Asked Questions for 10/14:

    MW: Looking at Mary’s expression in the last panel, with her eyes in reading position and mouth agape, is it possible that she’s referenced in the inscription? Will Aldo have gotten in one last stalk?

    FOOB: Has Michael finally said something sensible, contrary to his Oct. letter and soul-crushing novel-to-be? And why, in the 3rd panel (IIRC), does he suddenly have a turtleneck collar of a different color, and two heads?

    JP: Why is Raju so doomed, even after his makeover? (One possible answer: Men and women are exactly alike in one respect – they both want a stupid idiot as a mate.)

  166. Ghost of Aldo
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    Mary, mary, where you goin to?
    Mary, mary, can I go too.
    This one thing I will vow ya,
    Id rather die than to live without ya.
    Mary, mary, where you goin to?

    Mary, mary, tell me truly
    What did I do to make you leave me.
    Whatever it was I didnt mean to,
    You know I never would try and hurt ya.
    Mary, mary, where you goin to?

    What more, mary, can I do
    To prove my love is truly yours?
    Ive done more now than a clear-thinkin man would do.

    Mary, mary, its not over.
    Where you go, I will follow.
    til I win your love again
    And walk beside you,
    But until then.
    Mary, mary, where you goin to?

    Mary, mary, where you goin to?
    Mary, where you goin to?
    Mary, mary, mary, mary, mary, where you goin to?

  167. Jennifer
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    #46 Joe
    Why does Marmaduke exist?

    I think it has something to do with free will.

  168. Islamorada Girl
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    But we’re all united on the Death to Gil Thorp Question.

  169. Harry Paratestes
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorpe never changes, endlessly revolving around the same plot and characters. It’s like the lowbrow, comic strip version of ‘Waiting for Godot’.

  170. Harry Paratestes
    October 15th, 2006 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Mibbitmaker #164
    As for Raju: You can take the nerd out of the nerdwear, but you can’t take the nerditude out of the nerd.

  171. dramashoes
    October 15th, 2006 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    What the hell is poor Raju going to do? After those snotty little girls and their self-obsessed friends get tired of mocking him, they’ll dump him in an alley like so much used cat litter, with nothing but that ridiculous shirt and those laughable gangsta pants. Even Abbey won’t hire him to kill mice! Eventually he’ll have to resort to begging for change from strangers in front of Wines Liquors, and finally Raju will join Aldo, smashed to pieces along with his dreams and aspirations, without even Mary Worth to adorn his pauper’s grave with purloined flowers. I know this thread was supposed to be about faq’s but I can’t stand idly by while Raju is emasculated, humiliated, and ultimately annihalated b y the very ideals he left his native India to embrace.

  172. blessened
    October 15th, 2006 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a question for Josh. I don’t know if it’s frequently asked. What comics do you like? Not “like” in a masochistic way, but actually like. Tom the Dancing Bug is good. Perry Bible Fellowship is another fave of mine.

  173. KitsuneWarlock
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    If God really exists, why did Aldo die?

  174. Albatross
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Tired of trying to squeeze the blood of comedy from the dried-out turnips of “B.C.” and “The Lockhorns”? Then check out The Pain Comics by Tim Krieder. A veritable whale’s-liver of sanguinous humor! Squeeze away!

    (P.S. I am not affiliated with nor do I profit from The Pain Comics, this is not an advertisement, just an enthusiastic fannish endorsement)

  175. Dennis Jimenez
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:45 pm [Reply]


    Blondie – And I was thinking breast implants.

  176. Dennis Jimenez
    October 15th, 2006 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    MT – Bambi’s Mother – I’m talkin’ to you.

  177. Harry Paratestes
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    #174 Dennis, I’m not sure Courtney needs implants, she seems to have a nice rack already (or maybe she already has implants).

  178. Marc
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Josh you should have a page with all of the fan art and videos you have accumulated since you started up. And F.Q.M. (you’ll get it!) section.

  179. MossMoses
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    The Santa Royale Cemetery is the first one ever with flower vendors onsite. That’s cutting edge in the death care industry.

    Is there a deeper, cosmic meaning to Mary Worth’s Sunday thoughtitude. How out of character for the usually vociferous, condescending, opionated, meddling old hag not to blurt it out in the form of a spoken platispewed. She’s thought whining about lifes’s lack of clear cuttedness to a corpse. Isn’t that kind of like preaching to the choir?

    That really is typical LoFo law enforcement (or total and utter lack therof) by Sheriff Rawhide. “I can’t help find the criminal who stole your pet bear but let me introduce you to a “wlidlife expert”. Nice buck-passing there ‘hide. The evildoers’ bizarre, alien van might end up giving them away.

  180. Flealick
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Are flower sales on-site that unusual for a cemetery? I know a few people have pointed it out as being odd, but the one cemetery I visit regularly has flowers and vases for sale, and I never found it particularly strange. After all, it’s a business (and a someone unsavory one, as anyone who has read Jessica Mitford’s the American Way of Death–a great read, btw–can attest). Of course, I think even the most profit-obsessed graveyard may be reluctant to have someone hawking flowers from a cart 50 feet from a funeral in progress, and the florist’s “Thank you, Ma’am!” seemed a bit perky for the occasion.

    From Saturday’s sketch, I thought she was just going to steal flowers from another funeral and give them to Aldo. Which, like selling flowers in a cemetery, I can assure you, does happen. The “loving wife and mother” buried near my grandparents has been the ultimate recipient of gifts left on my family’s graves on at least one occasion.

  181. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    In dealing with CATHY it’s hard for me to understand for the length of time the artist/writer of the has not budged one inch forward in improving it in terms of graphics. If you draw for 20 years, you improve. Even PEARLS BEFORE SWINE has improved.

    Does she take lessons to stay “bad”?

  182. compass rose
    October 15th, 2006 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    I’m late, I’m late, what’d I miss?

    #130 I-Girl, you’re sensational!

  183. monkeyhawk
    October 15th, 2006 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Raggin on “Love is…” is like beating up the retarded kid down the street.

    My daily paper has buried in the Classifieds section, because the only people who might come across it are folks lookin’ for a $500 pick-up (can hear running) or a Pit Bull/Lab Mix puppy, free to good home.

    I think “Cathy” moved into that realm of insignificance long ago and will only become worthy of Curmudeondom when whatshername dies and it’s taken over “Dick Tracy”-style by people who have no connection with the original creator’s vision.

    For example, Dennis stopped being a menace about the time Ketchum sold out to Dairy Queen. He left his heirs a fine chunk of change, but ripped the balls of that cow-licked ragamuffin. Prepare yourself for “Cathy” to be sold off to “Curves” or “Jenny Craig” and spend her next 20 years hovering at 50-something with each new year’s swimming suit strips something she looks forward to.

    “Blondie” will devolve in daily specials ads for “Dagwood’s Sandwich Shops” and Billy (didn’t anyone look at today’s DC?) won’t come running toward Thel passing gas.

  184. monkeyhawk
    October 15th, 2006 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Shoulda been “FC.”

    The FAQ should cover any and all typos.

  185. Heckler123
    October 15th, 2006 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    #173, KitsuneWarlock – Aldo died because God is a just and all-knowing God. He is obviously on Mary Worth’s team.

    Of course, this doesn’t explain why Ian and Toby are still alive.

  186. Bombcar
    October 15th, 2006 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is a stingy bitch; she can’t even give all the flowers to Aldo for his gravestone! Gotta keep some for herself!

    I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
    I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
    But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
    Gravestones cheer the living, dear, theyre no use to the dead.

  187. mattt
    October 15th, 2006 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    They still do “Love is…”? Huh.

  188. AwfulArt
    October 15th, 2006 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    “Adam @ Home”, easily the worst strip of the day…!!!

  189. Yelliott
    October 15th, 2006 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    How about, what’s the capital of Montana? I’ve often wondered that…

  190. Eric
    October 16th, 2006 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    How can they talk about Jesus when it’s supposed to be B.C.? ‘Cause Jesus is pretty much fucking universal, that’s how. Jesus is both a dude and a concept at the same time. So love Jesus, and love what he stood for, which is the side of righteousness. I know that I am righteous – are you?

  191. Albatross
    October 16th, 2006 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Actually no, I’m an atheist and I think your Jesus is just as fictional as the humor in any Hart strip. However, unlike you, I don’t rudely shove my beliefs in people’s faces… unless asked.

  192. 420
    October 16th, 2006 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    If they are frequently asked you should have a record of them somewhere.

    If they are not frequently asked then a FAQ is not the place for them.

  193. Eighthman
    October 16th, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Maybe someone already posted this for your FAQ (119 replies, perhaps I’ll read them all later): OK, Mr. Curmudgeon, so which comics do you really like, the ones that have been unworthy of ridicule?

  194. owen dangertooth
    October 16th, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t this Apt. 3-G parody (2nd strip on page) have been more telling if any of the girls actually looked like Margo, Tommie or Lu Ann?

  195. katya
    October 16th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    I don’t get it. What’s a plugger?

    It took me awhile before I understood that.

  196. TransplantDuck
    October 16th, 2006 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    I also have a wife who looks at the booby ads over my shoulder while I am trying to read the witty and intelligent commentary here. #189,she fears I am going to Helena Handbasket for sure,so try to restrict the ads to Aldomania t-shirts and plush stuffed Molly bears,please.

  197. Octal
    October 16th, 2006 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Definitely an explanation–perhaps even timeline of!–Finger Quotin’ Margo. The “more information about licorice can be found on the Internet” riffs are also worth explaining the origin of. And the comic acronyms(I know *I* don’t get most of these in my daily paper… a few of them, I hadn’t even seen until this blog).

  198. AxisofEvil
    October 17th, 2006 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    So how many time in these comments has Aldo been compared to the dear Capt?

  199. Andy Seiler
    October 17th, 2006 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    1. Does the Comics Curmudgeon only write about comics that are “bad”?

    2. Do the comic strip creators know this site exists? Do they realize they are being made fun of? Or do the creators of “Marmaduke” and “Mark Trail” live on another planet? (Which seems likely.) For example, I like to think that the “Mary Worth” writer Karen Moy killed Aldo when she read here that she had totally screwed up the intervention scene. You’re supposed to include the person’s FRIENDS, not total STRANGERS. Moy’s shocked solution: Have Aldo kill himself because the intervention – MOY’S intervention – was so screwed up!

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