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Monday quickies of filth

Marvin, 11/1/10

Here is today’s Marvin! It is about how the title character, who is the world’s worst baby, takes pride in the fact that he sits around in his own mess, and thinks that anyone who takes the effort to control their various lower sphincters until they can dispose of their bodily wastes in a sanitary fashion is a sucker. Marvin disgusts me, if you can’t tell!

Shoe, 11/1/10

And yet my immediate thought when reading today’s Shoe was “Ha ha, that momma bird is exhausted because she spent the night barfing whatever greasy food she eats at Roz’s diner into her baby’s mouth! Yet the strip would never dare mention such a thing, despite its ostensible bird-based premise.” These contrasting reactions prove that I am hard to please, and also gross.

Marmaduke, 11/1/10

OH GOD HE HAS THE POWER OF FLIGHT NOW NONE OF US ARE SAFE

54 responses to “Monday quickies of filth”

  1. Mech5
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Without the caption, it looks like Marmaduke may have hung himself. This is traumatizing, but it only means he’ll be reborn stronger. You can’t kill a primordial evil that easily.

  2. KarMann
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Well, I was just about to post these links to the old thread to kill time while waiting for the new post, but now it’s up, and I’m posting them anyway:
    NSFBG
    Very Safe For True Fable (and it looks like Sherman’s Lagoon‘s Hawthorn can get a bite there, by the way)

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Mech5 (#1): Fortunately, Marmaduke’s nether region is hidden from view, so we don’t have to seen how “hung” he is!

  4. Sheila Sternwell
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke Alternate Caption: Ach nein, ein fliegender Hund schwanzstücker!

  5. Girl Reporter
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    I wasn’t able to keep up with the comments last week, so I apologize if I’m beating a dead topic here: Very classy how all the people at the book signing were lined up and then shot down by Batuik as stupid, unattractive, inferior clods. This is how to treat people who stand on line to tell you they enjoy your “writing”?

  6. BigTed
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    The only real joke in “Marvin” today is that he’s making his poop comments while sitting next to a dump truck.

  7. zenvelo
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Is Marmaduke propelling himself through flatulence? In other words, is he farting through the air?

  8. SamECircle
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    Actually, my first thought at Marmaduke w/out the caption was “Marmaduke must smell really bad to make [generic boy] open his mouth in horror!” And then “Oh wait, everything Marmaduke does is horrible. I wonder if he smells of poo… HAHA marmaduke gets his “sanitary lessons” from Marvin!”
    And then I thought about the alternate meanings of “sanitary lessons”…

  9. zenvelo
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Marvin’s halloween costume: http://gawker.com/comment/31612574/

  10. cj
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @zenvelo (#7): Well, this is pretty much the principle that jet propulsion is based on (exhaust=thrust).

  11. SamECircle
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @SamECircle (#8): And then I reread my comment and realized it’s impossible to say “smells of poo” without a british accent.
    “Mah-ma-dük, bewth the sthrihp ahnd the epynomous dog, smell of poo.”

    And then I realized you can’t say epynomous with a british accent.

  12. Sheila Sternwell
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#5): I hadn’t been keeping up with FW or comments, either, so I was intrigued by your comments. I went back to read last week and… man, Batiuk is just one bitter angry ugly little dude, isn’t he?

  13. fishmorgjp
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Wow! Marmaduke is being carried off by a giant monster vulture! Hooray! Hoora–huh? He isn’t? Darn it!

    The giant monster vulture won’t carry off Marvin, because even a a vulture wants something better that a dead-eyed, thought-projecting sack of feces, so forget that too.

  14. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis — Smile, darn ya, smile!

    Dog Eat Doug — Happy barfday, Mom!

    Nancy — Not as good as Scrooge McDuck diving into his money like a porpoise!

  15. Speck
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: With his little book there (Coprophilia’s Digest) and his seated posture, he may very well be relieving himself as he speaks- or think-talks, whatever it is.

    Next on the list of things Marvin doesn’t want you to come crying to him for:
    Walking upright
    Bathing
    Verbal Non-Telepathic Speech

    Also, it turns out that Firefox’s built in spellcheck doesn’t have “Coprophilia” in it. Kudos, Firefox.

  16. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    I hope Marmaduke flies over Marvin and does like a bird and drops a large steaming pile of Marmaduke excrement on top of Marvin.

    Marvin will think he went to heaven.

  17. pccmdoc
    November 1st, 2010 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    3am is the new 10am? No morons, it’s FALL – BACK, SPRING – FORWARD, plus DST ends next weekend…and it’s only an hour. But thanks for the ‘humorous’ attempt at reminding us of the coming time change.

  18. Mr. Goboto
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    99.99% of the time, I’m opposed to censorship, but to that 0.001% belongs the syndicate’s decision to crop Mar-Má-D?kh’s fully manifested demon-face along with his gore-soaked vulture wings.

  19. Sequitur
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (Y#215): If you think about the name it makes sense. Girls have been called “chicks” for quite a while (or in Britain, “birds”).

  20. zenvelo
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

  21. Aviatrix
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (Y211): That’s why I just say “Happy Hallowe’en,” and put a handful of candy in each bag, without asking any awkward questions.

  22. Ed Dravecky
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    In crazier news, the Pacebook page for Mayor Dalton’s Prostate is up to 808 fans. I know, right?

  23. Captain Thunder
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: The infant bird’s beak shows a certain commonality with the “Perfesser’s”. Getting grabby with the grad students, eh, Perfesser? Next week on Shoe: Shoe covers Cosmo’s university disciplinary hearings!

    Marmaduke: Marmaduke does that pansy Scooby Doo one better; cutting out the middleman, he performs the hauntings himself.

  24. WLP
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke vaguely recalls something on the news a while back about the so called “balloon boy” and now thinks every balloon carries a small child. A delicious, juicy child. Mmmmmm . . . Yummy!

  25. Apeman
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#22):

    I posted a “Tweeter” comment. Three people “liked” it in the first 6 minutes it was up. Crazy, huh?

  26. This Guy
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#3): Yes, I remember seeing Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, in which they meet a group of mystery-solving young adults with an actual Great Dane, who (after a heroic intake of pot smoke) sports a “stoner boner.” Now I can’t unsee it.

  27. Garrison
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @zenvelo (#9): And this will be Marvin’s Halloween costume in a few years…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKk_-BNmFks

  28. Francisco Arrowroot
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t there be some kind of, I don’t know, italics or something to show that bird-momma is groaning and not actually saying “Groan”? Or maybe she is, and we learn that the birds who rule this upside down world may have learned the art of annoying clichés like “Y is the new X”, but they have yet to master the subtleties of the onomatopoeia.

  29. Oavis
    November 1st, 2010 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    Imagine hearing a scratching sound at your second-floor bedroom window. You open the curtains, and there, with blank eyes and slavering jaws, hovers Marmaduke. It’s important to remember, however, that he cannot enter the house without an invitation. So for God’s sake resist that temptation!

  30. Jason1981
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#21):

    Yeah, it can be pretty embarrassing…espepcially if you compliment their big sister’s ugly witch costume, only to find out she’s actually their grandma or something…(no, that never happened to me, I’m just saying it could be embarrassing)

  31. bunivasal
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke has a firm grasp on God’s ankle, now.

  32. Alison
    November 1st, 2010 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    Marvin could not possibly be any more vile. No, I mean it. He couldn’t be. I refuse to believe otherwise.

    Josh, your caption for today’s Marmaduke was freaking hilarious!

  33. Kibo
    November 2nd, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    I’m worried Joel Hodgson is going to put “Marvin” and “Marmaduke” in his Cartuner to combine them into one strip about flying babies pooping on people and flying dogs pooping on people and flying poop pooping on poop and so on.

    “What do you think, sirs?”

    “IT STINKS!”

  34. Reboot My Gnu
    November 2nd, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke makes me think of this comic:

    xkcd: Shark

  35. Garrison
    November 2nd, 2010 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @Kibo (#33): I think Marvin + Marmaduke = Torgo.

  36. Rand
    November 2nd, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    Ok, so they’re supposed to be birds in Shoe, right? Except they have hair (only the women). And breasts (only the women). So maybe (if you’re feeling very charitable) these could get a pass in the name of artistic license, but then we see today’s strip, which features an actual baby, and then the question cannot be ignored: do these bird people breast feed their young?! . All that is needed now is a strip about pregnancy to establish that these hair-having, breast-feeding, ostensibly bird people also give live birth. But why stop there! Why not have a ‘topical’ strip about the evolution/creationism ‘debate’ in which one of the bird people states that he didn’t evolve from a monkey?

  37. areawoman
    November 2nd, 2010 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    Wow. Three absolutely horrifying strips in one day.

    Thank jeebus there were no Rusty close-ups. That would send me over the edge…of a very tall building.

  38. the big JC
    November 2nd, 2010 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Given Marmaduke’s aggression and history of willful disobedience, I assume he was never neutered, which makes this image of two children staring up at his airborne scrotum even more disturbing.

  39. Simian Prime
    November 2nd, 2010 at 4:30 am [Reply]

    He’s flying because of a “big balloon” from “a used car dealer”?

    I think it’s obvious that Marmaduke has become a coke mule.

  40. The Ridger
    November 2nd, 2010 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    @Sheila Sternwell (#12): Vultures don’t carry things off – well, not American vultures, anyway; they are a different family (and possibly even order) from the Old World vultures, and their feet are more chicken-like and are only good for walking on. If Marmaduke lives in Europe, Africa, or Asia, this delightful fantasy could be happening. As I believe he’s meant to be a New World monstrosity, though, it would have to be an eagle. Or perhaps Thunderbird. Yes, perhaps Thunderbird has grown displeased with this demonic beast’s fouling the world and swooped down to carry him off. That would be pleasing.

  41. Terry in Maryland
    November 2nd, 2010 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    So, the Phantom hit someone? I bet he takes that horse on a relaxing ride around the country side to rest from such a high level of heroic activity.

  42. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 2nd, 2010 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    A3G — Uh oh… Aunt Iris’ 24-hour deodorant ran out TWO DAYS AGO!

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 2nd, 2010 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — The military should have zero tolerance for idjits like Zero!

    Family Circus — Uncle Sam’s “mommy” is Mother Nature, you freak of nature!

  44. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 2nd, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn’s finally back… and she’s not alone!

  45. Tom Allen
    November 2nd, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    “Hard to please and also gross”, huh? Well, welcome to the Internet!

  46. LaurenM
    November 2nd, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    So the fiendish hellbeast wasn’t decapitated? I should have known Marmaduke would only disappoint me.

  47. Gordogato
    November 2nd, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    I don’t know if the birds in Shoe breast feed or regurgitate food into their babies’ mouths, but either way, maybe if mommy bird cut back on the coffee she’s drinking at Roz’s diner at 10am, baby bird wouldn’t be up at 3am?

  48. Braniff
    November 2nd, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @WLP (#24):
    I agree. I think since the Marmaduke movie flopped, the creators are trying to send him on a balloon ride for a few more minutes of fame. (And I used to like Marmaduke quite a lot, by the way.)

  49. Thomas B.
    November 2nd, 2010 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    I guess the movie deal has gone to his head as Marmaduke now sees himself as powerful enough to eat God.

  50. Freemage
    November 2nd, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty certain an airborne Marmaduke violates the Geneva Conventions.

  51. demoncat
    November 2nd, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    marvin is mad because his parents will not dare try and potty train him or risk the horror of seeing him sitting on the toliet with out his diaper. Maraduke now has aquired the power to fly which makes spreading his evil easier as he can now swoop down and get prey.

  52. jnoble
    November 2nd, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Luann: RAWWWWRRRR!! Cat fight! Milk, table three!

  53. Robin Hood
    November 13th, 2010 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Actually, if you want to abbreviate Marmaduke, you could easily catch yourself referring to him as Mar’duk, who was one of the ancient Babylonian gods.

  54. Charles
    December 7th, 2010 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    Marvin:

    Good God, why is getting potty trained such a huge mistake? I was potty-trained over 35 years ago and I can still crap my pants whenever I want to horrify someone, after all.

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