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They’re he-eere (to depress you)

Ziggy, 11/16/10

They’re something quite spooky about the setting for today’s Ziggy. Our hero, garbed in pajamas and a robe, is standing numbly in front of the television; the complete absence of any furniture indicates that he isn’t simply watching TV to while away a lonely evening, but has been woken from sleep by mysterious forces and drawn to the glowing screen. In fact, the television seems to be floating in midair on some sort of platform, making it all the more likely that it’s been possessed by some terrible demon. Naturally, as this foul spectre still exists within the confines of the Ziggy universe, it seeks not drive the title character to madness or drag his soul to hell, but only to depress him with life’s essential futility.

Gil Thorp, 11/16/10

Ha ha, not only is Cody a drug dealer, he’s a cheerfully unrepentant drug dealer. This plot is really going to test Gil’s strict not-giving-a-crap policy!

235 responses to “They’re he-eere (to depress you)”

  1. Jamus The Bartender
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Oh, dear, sweet, Jesus…..yeah, that’s not at all attractive….

  2. Chyron HR
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Sure, I [CENSORED] at work. But somebody’s got to do it.

  3. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT: There certainly seems to be a lot of Dicks in the comics lately.

    Ziggy: Is Ziggy watching an old Apple Macintosh?

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (Y#102): Shotguns only? Rats, I had my AK-47 ready to go.

  4. janietta
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    So…Ziggy wears pajama bottoms, but not pants?
    Maybe he is wearing short shorts and overlong shorts normally–or maybe even a speedo?
    I think I need to move on, I’m thinking about this too much.

  5. OKStan
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Cody: The CHEERFUL Dope Dealer. Does he have his VERY OWN METH LAB as well?

  6. Eau de Plugger
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Someone should tell Ziggy that his new tube style HDTV should be placed wide side down.
    Also. Pajama PANTS!

  7. zenvelo
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Gil is so mad he’s pushing out brain waves. Then he’s going to kiss Cody right there against the lockers.

  8. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Hold it. Just wait a doggone second. These birds are sitting around the diner reading the newspaper and acting surprised by a story in the paper.
    AREN’T THESE BIRDS THE ONES WHO PUBLISH THE PAPER??!!

  9. Dragon of Life
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    I wonder how long it will take for the comic strip image of the television to update to reflect newer, more modern technology. See, this is hilarious because I asked it in reference to Ziggy.

  10. Terry in Maryland
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Please, oh Purple Clad One, punch someone or something and get out of that prison and end this storyline. The whole thing about you cavorting while your wife is in a third world prison has just been an embarassment for the franchise.

  11. FafMor
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Apparently it’s National “Work IED or another 3-letter acronym into your comic” Day.

    MT: Not only does the horse talk, but it works for the government and is named Dick.

  12. Morndew
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    MW-Wait…wait just one darn minute. Since when did Adrian have blonde hair? Is she jealous of all the “fun” her bitchy blonde friend is having trashing her life? Am I mearly insane? Did I already miss some comment on this yesterday because I couldn’t read everything???

  13. FafMor
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Oh, and to give credit where it’s due – Sally Forth made me laugh. Great tie in with the upcoming movie as well.

  14. Ariamaki
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    So, uh, anybody else notice that Ziggy’s ghost TV has absolutely no wires coming out of it, up to and including a power cable?
    Intentional creepiness, or terrible half-assed drawing?

  15. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Ariamaki (#14): please not to say “half-assed” when discussing the pantless one.

  16. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#15): At least you know with “Ziggy” you won’t be laughing yours off.

  17. Tom Allen
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    BTW, the sun isn’t nearly massive enough to become a black hole. Instead, it will eventually become a red giant and incinerate the Earth. So, cheer up, Ziggy!

  18. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    YIPPEEE! A new Mark Trail story! Just in time for the holidays!

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    The Daily Cartoonist posted a bit from a series of animated/interviews of famous cartoonists.

    http://www.babelgum.com/cartoonmasters

    Masters Pastis, Tatulli, Thompson, among others.

  20. Patrick
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Even creepier is the fact that the TV doesn’t appear to have any sort of power source.

  21. Shawn S.
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: The comic itself may be depressing, but Ziggy is wearing clothes today and that’s always a plus.

    Luann: The only way this comic can redeem itself for the months of torture is for Dirk to throw Brad in the garbage truck and have Brad murdered at the dump reminiscent to Toy Story 3. THE ONLY WAY.

  22. avatarjk137
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    GT: “But Coach, think of all the children who would otherwise be deprived of dope! I’m performing a public service here!”

  23. AndyL
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Ah. I see that Ziggy has one of those new narrow-screen 9:16 televisions I keep hearing so much about.

  24. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#18): That is one fine PSA. I know it makes me want to go out and punch a guy with facial hair be friendly.

  25. Radar
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    I’m especially delighted at Gil’s pose in panel two. Fuming he hunches his shoulders, clenches his fist stiffly at his side, and scowls. He looks like a cartoon of a ten-year-old angry at his friend. Too bad we’re supposed to believe it’s a cartoon of a grown man in charge of shaping young minds, bodies and attitudes.

  26. Mike Hillard
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    “don’t worry kid, I’m one of those abusive coaches, I mean someone’s got to do it!”

  27. TheDiva
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: The only thing that makes this bit endurable to me anymore is the knowledge that one day Crankshaft will one day be a lonely wheelchair bound vegetable who watches baseball in the rain, having finally been abandoned by a family who was tired of him being a danger to himself and others. Maybe this day will be the glorious day when Pam wises up and makes that call to Bedside Manor.

    DT: You can keep talking all you like, it’s still not going to make a bloody lick of sense.

    FW: This is Funkytown, Rachel. What doesn’t kill you only exists in your imagination.

    MT: The customs department is employing horses now? That is interesting!

    MW: What makes you think Adrian knows the answer to that, Mary? From the look on her face, she’s having a hard time figuring out where the kitchen sink is right now.

    Pluggers enjoy being gluttonous slobs.

    SM: No, it’s just one of those glass paperweights with LED lights underneath. Twenty-five bucks at Spencer’s.

  28. Walker of Dog
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#Y100): Rocky, I’m sure sorry to hear about your mom. Best wishes to you and your sister.

  29. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    MT: That does sound interesting, since Dick Morgan is obviously from the U.S. Customs Department, circa 1922!

    FC: Obviously, PJ knows exactly what he’s doing. I’m just surprised that a tickle-fetish could be so well developed in one so young.

    JP: $850 in mad money? And now we know for sure that the judge doesn’t really need this book money.

    MW: Mary is about to burst poor, dumb Adrian’s bubble; here she was, thinking that she had this cool friend who made all kinds of funny jokes about not liking her dress and thinking her invitations are boring and putting down her fiance and hoping they’ll get divorced—and Mary is going to reveal to her that Jill is, in fact, a deeply troubled soul who lashes out in her misery and pain. And really, what’s the fun in that? Adrian does what she can to avoid misery and pain; I mean, isn’t that what anesthesia is for?

    A3G: Well, Margo, use your powers of deduction here. Tommie would never act on an idea, and Luann would never have one, so we’re only left with two options: you or Iris. So unless you want on some kind of drunken piano-buying bender, we’re looking at Iris.

  30. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#28): please accept my good thoughts too, Rocky.

  31. Scott Bot
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @janietta (#4): I think Ziggy is following in that long tradition of cartoon characters who ordinarily run around buck naked, but when confronted with going swimming or bedtime suddenly feel the need to cover their nakedness.

  32. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y100): My condolences, Rocky. (Over the last few years, I’ve had to go through a lot of my parents’/family’s stuff, and there can be some comfort there; I hope you find that, too.)

  33. Mibbitmaker
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @FafMor (#11): Richard Milhorse Nixon? (*ducks*)

  34. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (Y#100): Yikes! I missed your post yesterday. So sorry about your mother. I understand. Recently my wife’s sister died and we had to go through a lifetime of possessions. We had to sell, give away most of it and sell the house. A lot of time and a lot of grief and a lot of work.

  35. Scott Bot
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Shawn S. (#21): Luann: The only way this comic can redeem itself for the months of torture is for Dirk to throw Brad in the garbage truck and have Brad murdered at the dump reminiscent to Toy Story 3. THE ONLY WAY.

    If Luann were directed by Martin Scorcese, we’d see a shot of someone emptying a garbage truck at the dump. In it you’d see two bodies wearing windbreakers marked Brad and TJ. With ‘Layla’ playing in the background.

  36. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#29): re FC: um. Yeah.
    (This strip was even more icky to me than the slobby old Plugger — at least I assume he was eating M&Ms…dog Pluggers don’t eat cat poo like real dogs, do they?)

  37. Walker of Dog
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Change the subject as many times as you like, Rex. But in the end you will be subjected to the full-body scan or the taser. Or if you’re really lucky, both.

    Plug: Oh look, a dog-human is eating frozen rabbit poop. Super.

    MT: Sideburns, a mustache, and a waistcoat, the official daywear of corrupt plutocrats? Total punch-bait.

    A3G: Judging by Margo’s irregular eye movement, she may be having a stroke. Hopefully the hilarious result will be more frequent use of obscenities.

    FC: PJ, why can’t you just hump the couch like a normal boy?

    GT: Cody Exner, stone-cold utilitarian.

    Phan: Diana’s familiar touch causes a stirring in Kit’s stripey area.

  38. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    GT: I’ve never been caught selling drugs, but if I were I hope I’d have the sang froid to simply say, “Somebody’s got to do it.” You never know. The judge might figure you’ve got a point.

    S-M: Don’t be fooled by the rock that I got
    I’m still, I’m still Aunt May from the block

    MT: A royal blue suit, pink vest, and well-oiled mustache. Isn’t that just a beacon for terrifying mountain men?

    RMMD: “You mean prostate guy? Yeah, I high-fived him on the way in.”

    Garfield & HtH: Both funny today. There’s something weird in the air.

    C-Shaft: Between this and today’s Funky, I’m guessing that Batiuk has more of an IED fixation than most people who have actually done tours of duty in Iraq.

    H&L: Wishing don’t make it so, Thirsty. Also, even though your eyes are covered up, people can still see you.

    H&J: “A major health juice company” is their actual name, of course.

    FC: He may be young, but PJ is already eager to play the Appalachian dating game.

    GA: Joel’s “turkey wins you” punchline shows that Scancarelli really really wants Yakov Smirnov to play him in the movie adaptation.

    A3G: “Holy shit! It’s a fucking concert piano! What in cocksucking hell is going on here?” Don’t you envy Margo’s way with words?

  39. Mibbitmaker
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: It’s so tremendous that Frank Bolle can’t even draw it!

    Curtis: Those two are so stalkery (he towards Michelle, of course) they have a shrine to Aldo that they pray to.

    DtM: Dennis the Freakin’ Idiot

    DT: …..if they can figure out what the hell happened!!

    GF: Aw, the vacuum cleaner’s disappointed!

    MW: “What do you mean?”?!?!
    It’s official: nobody in real life or fiction is as stupid as Adrian. Compared to her, a bag of hammers is a Rhodes Scholar!

  40. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: PJs look of sublime peace says, “Do whatever you like, dear Sister. Thanks to the transcendant teachings of Lord Buddha, I cannot be touched by Suffereing, and in any case, I’m about to sutemi waza your ass.

    GT: Little known fact—Marijuana is one of the more dangerous drugs to sell due to high demand and high competition amongst dealers, which explains Cody’s cheerful fatalism. Since he’s grassed on his supplier, he knows he’s a marked man.

    Peanuts: Charlie Brown’s dad is a barber? No wonder the bald little freak feels so inadequate!

    @TheDiva (#27) @DT: The longer Dick’s “explanation” continues the more I think that the Chief is really a geriatric nurse at an Alzheimer’s home with very bad security.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#38) re: RxMD: Wait, isn’t Prostate Guy one of Peter’s aliases when he’s sans Spidey suit?

  41. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (y100): That’s sad news. I’m very sorry, Rocky.

  42. Master Softheart
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    GT: This is, bar none, the best Gil Thorp(e) strip ever.

  43. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#40): Yet another superhero who would be more effective than Peter Parker.

  44. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#33): Okay, it’s a pun but it still made me chuckle.

  45. Walker of Dog
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#39): Adrian has more issues than my car.
    *rimshot* + *jazzhands*

  46. JupiterPluvius
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @janietta (#4): That freaked me out, too! It made the whole not-wearing-pants business so INTENTIONAL. Screw you, Ziggy, you’re just a creepy flasher after all.

  47. Mibbitmaker
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    ZtP:

    You can’t channel living people, you yo-yo! Yeah, real funny, kid — is that a muumuu or are you flagging ships? How do you like that guy? Thinks his head is a missile silo or something! By the way, Griffy, the Dingbat thing, or whateverthehell you call it — it’s not working! And what kinda name is “Griffy”, anyway? Sounds like something off of an old road! Like your parents were deaf and named you after peanut butter! Play your comic strip backwards, maybe it’ll make sense once in a while! Naw, you’re a great guy, Zippy. I really mean it when I say, “I never liked you!” Now, I’d better go before I start seeing spots before my eyes! See ya later (looks aside in mock indifference, groans) — and please, look into some Noxema for that head before someone plants a flag on it! Ciao!

  48. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#3):

    MT: There certainly seems to be a lot of Dicks in the comics lately.

    Yes, it’s a great day to be Rex Morgan.

  49. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#43): Ohhh , that’s right! I got Prostate Guy confused with Prostrate Guy, which is one of Peter’s aliases.

  50. NoahSnark
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Cody may sell drugs, but Gil sells the bodies of young athletes to screaming mobs. But hey, Coach sounds more respectable than pimp now doesn’t it?

  51. Islamorada Girl
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark meets a customs guy. Does this mean our hero will be investigating someone smuggling in exotic animals? I, for one, look forward to seeing Mark in his L.L. Bean chinos stuffed with water dragons, iguanas and moon-faced parrots. They may be the first living creatures to be anywhere near his genitals.

  52. Das Storminator
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    There’s still time for the twist – Cody is taking the fall for some other shlub.

  53. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MT: U.S. Customs guy will bring in his dogs to work with Andy and Sassy!

  54. Dood
    November 16th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Being a 17-year-old with no priors is no way to go through life, son.

  55. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#49): More like a supinehero, actually.

  56. The FUNDRIVER
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Wait, why does Gil have Spidey-Sense in the third panel? Does it go off when the primary conflict of the current plot comes u–wait a second.

    Gil Thorp IS Spider-Man. Think about it; they’re both unashamedly lazy and have very little crap to give, most of their work is done by other people, they apparently both have extra senses…

  57. Gregory Earls
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what is about to go down into today’s Family Circus, but I’m pretty sure the punch-line is going to be, “…The Aristocrats!”

  58. This Travis, not the Other Travis
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Gil obviously does give a crap. So much in fact that the chief has to give him a good left handed slap in the face to calm him down

  59. bbofun
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh my glorious basketball-playing God- is Cody actually selling medical marijuana? Could GIL THORPE actually be on the cutting-edge (well, near the cutting-edge) of an actual, real-life controversy?

    Nah.

  60. skullcrusherjones
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Wow, Nova is really pulling no punches during their pledge drive.

  61. Groucho
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    The sun turning into a black hole? Well, it must indeed be the end of the world, as evidenced by the fact that Ziggy is wearing pants.

  62. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I called the piano, but I didn’t call the sudden outburst of profanity from Margo, which is frankly a much more enjoyable surprise event.

    BR – Yes.

    Crankshaft – Oh fuck you. Jesus, two strips into the week and it’s already a primer on what not to do with emergency services.

    DT – GRUUUUURGGHH WHAT.

    FC – Dolly being really pissed for no good reason is almost as enjoyable as people abusing Jeffy for no good reason being Jeffy.

    FW – Each time a new Wally storyline starts, I ask myself: “Could it possibly get any triter? Any more like a movie from some hypothetical male equivalent of Lifetime?” And each time the answer comes back: “Oh hell yes it can.”

    GT – I love this guy already. I just wonder how Gil is going to fare without his patented “claim Dr. Pearl is wrong and then just sit around until that turns out to be the case” technique.

    JP – “You know, because a couple hundred kilobytes of text totally wouldn’t fit through the email slot or something.”

    Luann – Dirk, there is not a single person here who would object if Brad attacked you out of jealous rage and accidentally fell into the trash compactor, if you get my drift…

    MT – Okay, so the horse is Dick Morgan, but what about the guy in the suit?

    Marmaduke – How does someone with enough brain capacity to store a word as little-used as “abdicate” manage to also be the creator of Marmaduke?

    MW – Don’t look at us, Adrian. You were the one who asked for her advice. [*]

    NAOQV – I’d give money to Teddy Roosevelt.

    OB – I’m a thrift-store junkie myself, but if a mannequin suddenly moved into the frame without the “camera” moving, I’d be creeped out, too.

    Pluggers – Pluggers somehow manage to dissolve the candy shell of an M&M before consuming it, which I assume means their hands are covered in saliva. Pluggers are fucking disgusting.

    Popeye – I know it’s a futile hope, but if the storm killed Olive (and maybe Wimpy as well,) I would be a happy man.

    RMMD – Okay, speculation time: what filthy, embarassing object does Rex have in his pocket that he was reluctant to remove?

    SF – I looked up “horcrux” only to stumble into a Wiktionary edit war, and now I’m feeling pissy because they’re still pretending their notability policy isn’t an arbitrarily-enforced complete joke. I blame Sally’s mom. [*]

  63. The Grandstander
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#39): Re Adrian. My thought EXACTLY. No one, NO ONE could be as dumb as this broad, unless it’s the bullet-magnet cop who wants to marry her!

  64. T. Chicana
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Ew!! Ha ha, it’s like they’re TRYING to gross us out. I don’t get Pluggers in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, so I looked for it, cringed and then LOL-ed. Sick!

    MW: Jill is going to have to try a LOT harder to offend Adrian. Do it, Jill, do it!

  65. Indichik
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    ReFOOB: That’s not Mrs. Baird, it’s John in drag, baby!

    WofI: I assume Madame Linda will soon advise the peasants to visit DateMadameLinda.com. Otherwise, I see no joke here.

    Fred Basset: Unfunnily using a phrase to apply to a squirrel that is SUPPOSED to be applied to a squirrel? Don’t you know it’s supposed to be unfunnily applied to humans?

  66. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Love Is . . . . about snowballing again.

  67. UncleJeff
    November 16th, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    GT: Let’s see. I think I have the Milford Power Structure figured out:
    The town police chief informs the football coach/athletic director of all pending criminal investigations surrounding his team.
    The coach feints the use of a suspended student in a game to lure the principal into the open.
    AND AT THE HOMECOMING BONFIRE WE BURN THE INFIDELS!
    Go Mudlarks.

  68. Poteet
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    GT — Is it wrong to say that Cody is my favorite GT character ever?

  69. Bennui
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy walks around publicly with no pants but sleeps fully clothed? That Wilson – a perv’s perv.

  70. Carlo
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Cody Exner seems to have all the skills to succeed as a college athlete. Skills? Check. Grades? Check? Sociopathic tendencies? Check and Check.

    Gil should send the arrest report with Cody’s highlight tape. My hunch is Urban Meyer is the first to knock on Cody’s door with an offer.

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Ikkle corgsquee and a happy set of doggy BFFs.

    otter pile!

  72. This Guy
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro: Larson did it!

    Crank: Am I missing the factor that’s keeping her from removing all that shit from the fireplace herself? Is there a force field surrounding it?

    Pluggers: Say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel? They’re a little melty, but damn, are they exquisite. [*]

  73. Professor Fate
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    FW: I hate to be pendantic but wasn’t he a prisoner most of the time he was, well, whereever he was? He would have PDT but I would think the symptoms might be a bit differnet. Or am I simply unable to appericate the deep writing that is going on here.

    MW: Mary just say it, Jill is a bitch.

  74. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: What grosses me out about this is the tapeworm that’s found its way out of the Plugger’s body and is now heading across the Plugger’s shirt.

  75. Walker of Dog
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Professor Fate (#73): I’ll say this for Wally – I’ll bet he held out for longer than Aunt May, who took the express train to Stockholm.

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#72): re: [*]: yes.

  77. Apeman
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    GT: “Dammit, Cody, how am I supposed to sell your services to Notre Dame Northern Illinois West Texas A&M if you’re out selling dope? Can you at least stay out of trouble long enough for me to steer you to a juco in Kansas? I gotta get something out of your skills!”

  78. Edgy DC
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    I like that the George Kennedy-wannabe chief of police has knows that the only way to reliably feed Gil Thorp information inconsistent with his prior attitude is to slap it into his smug head.

    Panel one should be in the files of all Millford police recruits. “When dealing with miscreants in youth sports, this is the way to deal with thier smug holier-than-thou coach.”

  79. gleeb
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Tom Allen (#17): And when the sun does this, those who wear pants will be that much more uncomfortably warm than Ziggy.

  80. Ed Dravecky
    November 16th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#62): I just looked nobody’s even tried to write an article on Arfenhouse since a pitiful, unreferenced and kind of spammy edition was deleted on January 30, 2007. Being the encyclopedia that “anyone can edit” has its upsides and its downsides–and sometimes having to write the article yourself is both of those.

  81. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    SF — Shouldn’t that be “horcruces”? One of the nice things about Harry Potter is the use of Latinate names, many of which are pretty funny. It doesn’t seem like Rowling to have used “horcruxes”.

  82. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#81): I have a feeling Ted never took Latin.

  83. Mr. Majestyk
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy needs to stop being such a baby. Everybody knows our sun isn’t big enough to become a black hole. Instead it’ll expand until it roasts all life on Earth to death.

  84. cj
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy:
    In keeping with the old CRT television, the poltergeist’s astronomical knowledge is also primitive. The sun’s mass is no where near the Chandrasekhar Limit, and thus will only grow to be a red giant before ejecting protonebular gas and cooling off to a white dwarf.

  85. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#80): Yeah, true. I think there used to be a better one, but I could be mistaken. At any rate, it’s hardly the only thing that has fallen to the great and terrible Notability Censors.

  86. T Campbell
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    I’m composing a list of “word balloons that could only be improved if they were followed immediately by a show-stopping musical number.” “Somebody’s got to do it” is currently in the #2 spot, but still behind “More zippers, mule.”

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#81): buy yet, she did. Horcruxes is the term used through-out the later books.

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    buT, not “buy” above.

  89. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#37): re Phan: “Diana’s familiar touch causes a stirring in Kit’s stripey area.”
    But not for long…

  90. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#87):

    Horcruxes is the term used through-out the later books.

    Harrumph. Ms. Rowling may appease me by forwarding a few of her millions.

  91. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#90): perhaps she thought that all of her little fans chattering about “whore cruises” might be taken wrong? *gigglez*

  92. Red Greenback
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Somebody’s got to do it. Seriously, I mean it.

  93. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#91): They weren’t whore cruises? Then why was everyone so worked up about them?

  94. Écureuil Écumant
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @38 Artist formerly known as Ben said:

    H&J: “A major health juice company” is their actual name, of course

    That’s probably just how those two play. Herb is Major Healthy of C Company and Jamaal is Corporal Juicy. In fact, I believe I’ll think of H&J from now on as “Healthy & Juicy”. I know, typecasting.

  95. Mooncattie
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    MT – “I’m just kidding, Mark. My real name is Whitey the Horse, and I’ve been living here for years!”

  96. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

  97. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#93):

    They weren’t whore cruises?

    Another dream dashed. Y’know, I think Judge Parker‘s Sam ‘n’ Alan are planning something similar with their book tour “mad money” — of course, with only $850, they’ll have to share.

  98. dale
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    GT – Cody was sort of suspended for maybe violating some undefined policy.

    Now he’s a known drug dealer (was he actually arrested or just talked to?) and he’s still in school.

    Cody really needs a lawyer. Seventeen is old enough to be treated as an adult for minor crimes like murder and rape. Here, we’re talking about marijuana.

  99. Silvermink
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Tom Allen (#17): Well, the sun incinerating Ziggy would make ME pretty happy, if nothing else.

  100. Silvermink
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#23): I just pictured ol’ Zig tilting his head 90 degrees to the right and it was a much funnier mental image than it had any right to be.

  101. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Silvermink (#99): Ziggy is an Ann Rice vampyre?

  102. Ed Dravecky
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Does anybody know who the sunglasses-wearing character is in today’s Beetle Bailey? Are we supposed to recognize Pvt. Phil E. Buster, a former Congressman given the choice between jail and military service after they found all those hooker corpses stacked in his basement, and laugh along with him as he recalls the good ol’ days when he was betraying his constituents by selling his vote to the highest bidder? Seriously, who the hell is this guy?

  103. Dennis Jimenez
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    GT – So in panel three – is that the fish eye, the stink eye or the evil eye?

  104. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#94): Well played, E-Square. Well played indeed.

  105. Dr. Weird
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Professor Fate (#73):

    Oh, yes. Wally served three tours, in Iraq, Afghanistan or somehow both at once, then was captured and held hostage for TEN YEARS. Whatever issues he had from his soldiering experiences shouldn’t be as pressing as a decade spent stuffed under the floorboards of houses and subjected to mock executions.

  106. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#67): Yea, but will they use the Wing-T against New Thayer this year?

  107. odinthor
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    GT.

    Cody’s rolling on him.

    Not only is Cody a delightfully cocky drug dealer, he also is a real pal to his dealer by helping him eliminate those unsightly pills on his clothing. Here, our old friend Cue, a personal acquaintance of Cody’s, demonstrates lint rolling for us. As Fashion Police will I am sure agree, in this modern world we have no time for shabby or unsightly criminals, and perhaps we can hope that the catwalks in Milan will soon show an appropriate proportion of chic wear designed specifically for the felonious.

  108. Écureuil Écumant
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#103): I would say it’s the evil eye, because of those Rays of Malevolence emanating from it.

    The fish eye is a flat, coldly devaluing stare that makes you feel like, well, yesterday’s gefilte but probably puts you in no imminent danger of physical harm.

    The stink eye, in its original Hawaiian incarnation, requires a furrowed brow and protruding eyeball with wavy Stench-Lines of Loathing shimmering towards its target. Something like Big Daddy Ed Roth’s Rat Fink in a putrescent mood.

  109. LUJBEM FEJF
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Gregory Earls (#57): Very Nice!!

  110. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#102):

    Oh, gads, he was introduced in the 1980′s. He’s a grifter, always out to make a buck.

  111. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#101):

    Well, he sure isn’t a sun light tolerant vampire from the universes of Stephenie Meye or Seth Grahame-Smith (“Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter”). Don’t know about the vampires in J.K.Rowling’s though–just the one that came to the party, and there’s one who’s half-vampire who is a famous singer who is in the chocolate cards at her web-site.

  112. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#110):

    “Oh, gads” meaning “Why is he back? He’s been gone for ages.”

  113. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Gil: No worries? You’re a drug dealer!
    Cody: Somebody’s got to do it!
    Gil: Yeah, no kidding! Hey Cody, could you spot me a couple hundred til next week? These furlough days are a bitch…

  114. Ed Dravecky
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Oops, somehow I failed to post this on Sunday…

    Ha! Crock is funny because modern call centers are stereotypically in India, not China, while Egg Foo Young is an American dish unknown to actual Chinese cuisine. Also, it’s the middle of the pre-WW1 African desert and this character has a cellphone, a toaster, and sliced white bread. Where should we send the Pulitzer, Bill Rechin?

  115. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    DT: Is D’Buckworth in that classical guy who exploded’s band?

  116. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Sad to see what PJ gets up to with a few pops in him… Sad but not surprising really.

  117. BigTed
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    That must by a Snuggie infomercial. Ziggy is clearly thinking, “What, I could have been wearing a blanket with sleeves all this time?!”

  118. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — that’s Pvt. John D. Cosmo, barracks grifter. Thanks, Muffaroo.

  119. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#93): Isn’t that the one Rex and June went on a couple of years ago? With Guido the Man Whore?

  120. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Hoo Boy, that Lloyd DeRamus is really on his game this week. He could give that dang Reed Hoover a real run for his money!

  121. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#119): A couple of years ago? Has it been that long?

    I guess it has!

  122. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: How cute… Rex has his pouty “I can’t believe you are making me empty my pockets” face on. Is he going to scream, “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested (promoted) by the mayor… who I know…”

  123. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

  124. Violet
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Wow, yeah, most people would probably go with the somewhat more defensible “Hey, if I don’t do it, someone else will,” but no, according to Cody, somebody’s got to do it. “What, coach? Kids need drugs; I need cash—it’s win-win. Do you honestly want to live in a world where the kids walk around not constantly high as fuck? Does anyone?”

  125. Sans Sense
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#123): Exactly. Only Rex’s protest would sound like begging…

  126. The Ridger
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Dang, missed the jump. But in case you missed it, this is for you, Baka Gaijin (though perhaps you shouldn’t listen to them)

  127. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    They drummed you out of Hollywood, so you come crawling back to Milford. But Milford doesn’t go for booze and dope. Now get out of my way, I’ve got a man waiting for me. — Gil Thorp

  128. The Ridger
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#81): Dog Latin, maybe. Might as well use English plurals.

  129. wagmore
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    MT: Dick may be employed by U.S. Customs now, but from his outfit it’s obvious he’s hoping for an appointment in the Ministry of Magic.

  130. Ed Dravecky
    November 16th, 2010 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    I must work “Holy %@*! — it’s a concert piano!!” into as many conversations as possible. Luckily, I’m the president of the local chapter of the Deadwood Music Appreciation Society.

  131. mr 12 oz can
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    gil thorp-gil tells cody if he could have cut him in 10% he would be selling his stuff to the faculity instead of low lifes under the bridge and pizza flippers. cody gives gil a moe howard poke to the peepers for insulting pizza flippers.
    mary worth- jill is planning to do a makeover like the movie single white female hoping to put a stiletto through scotts eye and brain alsd .but that bitch adrian will ruin the plan now that her hair is going blond.
    mark trail- is this customs guy a circus ringmaster or he just likes dressing up like the wild wild west. plus what a liar nobody enjoys reading marks stories

  132. Austria
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Sooo, basically the cartoonist is admitting they can’t draw pianos?

    SF: YES. YES. I LOVE YOU.

    …Wow, slim pickings today.

  133. nil zed
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#8): they are reading the competition??

    oh lordie, remember back when biggish towns had more than one newspaper? We were morning paper people, I loved reading the evening paper at Grandma’s house. Different comics, Dear Abby instead of Ann Landers, all very fascinating.

    Same 4 TV channels though.

  134. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @nil zed (#133): even being here for a few years, it still amazes me that there is a weekday Mark Trail with a plot (more or less). I grew up with MT only on Sunday, with all the cool animal illustrations and nary a Rusty in sight!

  135. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#132): At first I wondered how Slylock Fox could generate such a reaction. Then I realized you meant Sally Forth. Okay then.

    @nil zed (#133): Oh yeah. The morning and evening papers. In the town I grew up, they were published by the same group. The morning was call the “Post” and the evening it was called the “Times.” On Sunday they had only one edition and called it the “Post-Times.”

    Still the same old 4 TV channels.

    @bats :[ (#134): You lucky bat!

  136. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#132): I’ll go you one further and suggest that they don’t know what a baby grand piano is seeing how it was delivered and assembled (???) by a lone delivery man.

  137. cj
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#87): of course that can be handwaived with the simple explanation that as they are a forbidden subject, you wouldn’t find many people in-verse arguing the point of proper Latin pluralization.

  138. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#136): Actually, there were a couple other guys.

  139. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#136): Maybe the “deliveryman” was actually a con/performance artist who tricked Lu Ann into believing he had delivered a piano via a clever mime act supplemented with creative mouth noises. Wouldn’t explain why Margo bought it, though. Maybe she’s just pretending to go along with it in order to shut Lu Ann up.

  140. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#136):

    … delivered and assembled (???) by a lone delivery man.

    Yeah, but that Paul Linski, he’s all hands. Seriously, I mean it!

  141. Mr. Goboto
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#138): I could have sworn he was alone! Is this Earth-parallax L-82-46-7-29? Dammit, did I slide again?

    @commodorejohn (#139): “Wouldn’t explain why Margo bought it…” Unless he crapped on the floor as part of his act… but then again “concert piano” is a rather obscure euphamism for feces, even by comics-page standards.

  142. odinthor
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#136): If they absolutely have to in order to get the instrument where it’s going, piano deliverers—no, not those piano deliverers (they had an upright)—will take just the legs off and then reassemble in due course…under the very suspicious eye of the new owner.

    Actually, it would be high-lair-ious for someone in a movie to receive a crate marked “Some Assembly Required,” only to open it and find a completely dis-assembled piano. (“Hey, ma—look at all them wires!” “I think they call them ‘strings,’ dear.” “They shore look like wires t’me. [long silence as they contemplate the pile of parts] Don’t Uncle Edwin know music? Maybe we should git him over here t’help.” “Well, he does play the ocarina now and then . . . “)

  143. The Ridger
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Mark thinks the US Customs Department is in charge of actual, you know, customs – wearing white after Labor Day, fireworks vs sparklers, whether dogs can come into restaurants, who can safely wear facial hair, that sort of thing. Otherwise I can’t imagine why he finds this guy “interesting”.

  144. The Ridger
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#138): Gasp! One of them is a genuine black guy! (Of course, he doesn’t get any lines…)

  145. Walker of Dog
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#103): GT – So in panel three – is that the fish eye, the stink eye or the evil eye?

    None of the above – that is the dreaded duck-foot eye. Any Milfordian, sufficiently provoked, will extend the foot as a warning, similar to a cat’s arched back or the Margo-stare. Bystanders should back away slowly; that foot has some awesome MMA skillz.

  146. The Ridger
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    @Morndew (#12): I think they’re meant to be shiny highlights.

  147. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#144): Eh, he’s less black and more “sickly cold-coffee beige,” but I suppose it still counts. (Glacial) progress!

  148. Fred Davis
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    It’s only impossible for the sun to collapse into a blackhole naturally.

    Clearly ziggy has been woken up by the Vogon deconstruction fleet forcing every television in the world (including the ones that weren’t plugged in or turned on) to broadcast adverts for the solar system’s “clearance sale”.

    Unlike other people on earth dressed only in sleepwear that day, ziggy will probably not survive.

  149. bats :[
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Fred Davis (#148): “I knew Arthur Dent, Arthur Dent was a friend of mine. Ziggy, you’re no Arthur Dent.”

  150. Ridureyu
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    What disturbs me is that Ziggy wears pants when he goes to bed, but nothing at all when he goes out on the town.

  151. Soccerhead
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    GT: Cody,you don’t want to be a low-level drug dealer.
    Don’t you read the comics? You donlt want to end up like Alan,do you?
    Dinette Set: Did this get past the censors because only a few people read this strip anyway?

  152. Écureuil Écumant
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    DTM: Dennis’ fixation on body part disproportion won’t serve him well in middle school, when he starts asking his locker room mates whether they’ve noticed that one of their nuts hangs a bit lower than the other.

  153. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Soccerhead (#151): given that it’s ugly, unfunny, and unclever, why does ANYONE read DS?

    I certainly try to avoid doing so at all costs.

  154. Stroker Ace
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    GT – ‘I’m a 17-year-old with no priors’. Reading that brought on major juvenile court flashbacks.

  155. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#149): And Ziggy is definitely no Zaphod Beeblebrox!

  156. Écureuil Écumant
    November 16th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    JP: “So when do I get to read the new book?” You’ll have plenty of time on the Greyhound as we go from tour stop to tour stop.

  157. commodorejohn
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Soccerhead (#151): That explains a lot about Dinette Set.

  158. Johann Sebastian Coch
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Much like Ziggy, our sun is about 40% too small to go out in some sort of gargantuan cataclysm, leaving a profound permanent hole in what we thought was reality behind. No, like Ziggy, Sol will flare up furtively for a few hundred million years before shrinking forever into a paralyzingly unremarkable white dwarf.

    Which I guess makes this the best Ziggy joke ever.

  159. Uncle Lumpy
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    If a strapping lad like Cody is concerned about his lack of priors, he should get himself to a Priory!

  160. smokey stover
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Apparently Archie has been eating at this Italian restaurant in Thailand:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/signlanguage/8136440/Sign-Language-week-126.html?image=1

  161. Dan
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    The denouement in Dick Tracy just keeps aimlessly turning over and over like a 1975 AMC pacer after you turn off the ignition. What a waste of virtual paper and ink!

    I’d also like to add that I hate you all for making me read this strip. I’d rather be fed mescaline and whipped with assorted hedgehogs and weasels. Twice!

  162. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @smokey stover (#160): That’s almost as disgusting as Pluggers.

  163. Mustang
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    MW – I am humbled HUMBLED by Mary’s attack. I seriously thought and reported here that her new victim would be Jill. And I see now that she would never EVER desert a victim like Adrian unmeddled. Go in for the kill, Mary. We can see in Adrian’s eyes the acceptance of the predator prey relationship, and we must respect the balance of nature.

  164. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 16th, 2010 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe(#y100): I’m touched by the expressions of sympathy for the loss of my mother. Thank you, one and all! As far as possessions go, most of Mom’s stuff is exactly that… stuff. I have no intention of going to war with my sister over the bulk of our mother’s estate. However, the major bone of contention is the house itself. Since our mother owned her home free and clear, my sister is pushing me to sell it for whatever we can get and split the money 50/50. The problem is, I don’t want to sell. The house is in a good part of town and has been in our family since 1956. If we hold on to it for another 10-15 years, it would make a good starter home for my son or nephew. The real estate market is in the toilet right now, so I’m trying to convince my sister that it makes good financial sense to rent our mother’s house out for a few years.

  165. Dan
    November 16th, 2010 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Morndew (#12):

    Damn! It looks like she did her hair with an asphalt paving machine! The colorist tried everything to make that work, but eventually threw up her hands and used yellow.

    GAH! The more I look at the first panel, the more the profile views of Mary and Adrian freak me the hell out. It’s like Dali’s eyelash self-image thingy. Almost, but not quite, human. Make them go away!

  166. KarMann
    November 16th, 2010 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: That Dick Morgan must be a pretty special horse. After all, most Morgan horses are bay, black, or chestnut. A cremello like that is probably pretty rare, indeed!
    Oh, yeah, and the talking thing. That too.

    @Dan (#161): I had a ’76 Pacer myself. It’s been a while, so I don’t remember that particular issue, but much like Rachel’s car, it had enough issues that that might not have stood out enough for me to remember it.

  167. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#164):

    If you can pay off your sister the 50% right now, it would be yours at the current low price. Easier said than done.

  168. Peanut Gallery
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @T Campbell (#86): Peppy, uptempo love song: “Seriously, I Mean It!”

  169. Peanut Gallery
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @wagmore (#129): (MT) Give him a top hat and he’d be Mandrake the Magician.

  170. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#96):

    Looks like they just found the restricted section of Weasley fan-fiction.

  171. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    priorities.

    darn TV Tropes binges.

  172. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#170): first result for Google Image Search “twincest”

    ROFL!

  173. hcv
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    It seems impossible I’m the only person to check in here who’s both a comics geek and a pedant. Not one comment about today’s FBOFW spelling fail?

  174. CanuckDownSouth
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @hcv (#173): meh. I think we’ve just given up. FOOBian reprints have included uncorrected “wierd”

  175. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#171): Thanks for reminding me. I otter get a beer.

  176. Poteet
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @hcv (#173): Generally I think of myself as both, but “weird” has always been a problem for me. I usually catch my own attempts to misspell it, but not always.

  177. Sequitur
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @hcv (#173): Well, whatayaknow. They spelled “mom” backward.

  178. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#175): *grabs an otter one*

  179. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#142):

    Sears used to sell houses that way. Bricks, boards, windows, nails, hinges, etc. and the blue prints. Nice project for Uncle Edwin.

  180. ElkMeadow
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#174):

    And there was the classic potty/pottie strips, that ran a week or so apart, where the only difference was the spelling. Lynn doesn’t care about spelling–she’s said so before in an interview. Nor does she all that fussed about geography, as we at calvinsdad learned Monday at her Coffe Talk site. Anyone have a slice of ham?

  181. KarMann
    November 16th, 2010 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

  182. 8th Man Fan
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#127): Didn’t recognize the quote, but Googling it led me to this, which provoked memories of misspent pre-teen years somehow getting in to see then-R-rated movies at a Lower East Side hole-in-the-wall movie theater. Of course, back then, I didn’t have a clue what was going on and was highly disappointed at the lack of boobiage (actually, that could also describe my present-day reaction to Gil Thorp). But, hey, Dionne Warwick music. Thanks for the flashback.

  183. Jamus The Bartender
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#164): I just heard about your Mom, Rocky, and was sorry to hear about it. Keeping you in my prayers.

  184. Poteet
    November 16th, 2010 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    MT — Several years ago, I heard a scary talk about Customs and invasive exotic species. So I’m not too surprised that horses are now being hired, probably for minimum wage.

  185. Gozar
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail edited:

    Mark … Mister … Mr. … First
    ..
    ..
    Dick
    ..
    ..
    Sounds Interesting!

  186. Poteet
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]

  187. Poteet
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    S-M — So is this Aunt May’s first proposal from a supervillain, or is this a regular thing for her? And is she genuinely considering the offer, or is she just trying to play for time?

    Things being what they are nowadays, here above the ground, I have a feeling that if Mole Man were to post an advert that included a photo of that diamond, he would have enough offers from willing females that he wouldn’t have to kidnap relatives of, and deal with, Arachni-Dork. Just sayin.

  188. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#167): Mrs. Stoneaxe came up with the same idea. Unfortunately, neither of us knows where we can lay our hands on that kind of money!

  189. Sequitur
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#188): Ya know, there’s this homeless guy givin’ out money…

  190. Peripheral Visionary
    November 17th, 2010 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “And whose idea was this?!” Jane Austen’s. But hey, it’s a great plot device!

  191. HammerOfTheCarp
    November 17th, 2010 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – Sheesh you’d think Tom Wilson would pop open a science book every now and then and do some research. Doesn’t he know that the sun is going to be devoured by the Fenris Wolf?!

    Gil Thorp – Nice try Cody. “Somebodys got to do it” certainly doesn’t work with indecent exposure convictions(So I hear :-O), and probably carries no weight in drug cases either. “Now society made me do it” or “I wrecked your mom’s dentures testing her gag reflex last night” on the other hand…pure legal poetry.

  192. sugarpie
    November 17th, 2010 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#188): Sorry you are having to go through all that. It’s an awful process, but am wishing all the best for you and your sister.

  193. Hairhead
    November 17th, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    LUANN:

    BRAD: Look Dirk, you have to stop harassing me!

    DIRK: What are you talking about? I’m your garbageman, taking out your garbage!

    BRAD: You took this job just so you could spy on me and try to get Toni back!

    DIRK: Are you retarded? You think I like touching your spunk-soaked Kleenexes? And the number of bottle of hand lotion you go through — aren’t you getting any?

    BRAD: How DARE you talk about my sacred Toni that way! She would NEVER do something so disgusting, especially not with a person like me, and especially not while my mother is still alive!!!

    DIRK: Brad, you’re foaming at the mouth . . .

    (Brad swings at Dirk, connects, and knocks him right into the garbage compacter. Screams ensue. The police and ambulance are called. Dirk is taken away by ambulance, and Brad by the police.

    TJ: Brad, oh Brad, I’ll raise some bail . . . or at least come at visit you. Can I sign up for conjugal?

  194. Fashion Police
    November 17th, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#132):
    Hardly surprising, since he clearly cannot draw even moderately attractive women’s clothing.

  195. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#189): Too bad 3-D’s assets are currently frozen. Anyone know where I can get in touch with Sam Driver?

  196. commodorejohn
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#195): <voice=”Toucan Sam”>Just follow the smug!</voice>

  197. Fashion Police
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#143):
    We find your theory about Mr. Trail’s concept of the U.S. Customs Bureau to be, well, interesting – although we are uncertain he is capable of considering such discriminating nuances of the language as you are.

    We would offer an alternate theory: that Mr. Trail’s “interest” stems from his suspicion that no real agent of the United States Government, acting in his official capacity, would wear a contrasting vest with an electric-blue suit, and particularly in such an effete hue.

  198. CanuckDownSouth
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    Archie: art fail. The end of the jacket is visible outside of the slammed door in panel 2

    EC: colour monkey fail – I dearly hope. there’s enough risk of being accidentally shot by your hunting buds without *nobody* having a stitch of blaze orange on

    FW: Your wacked-out expression doesn’t help, it just makes it sound more preposterous. You’re doing this for *you*, aren’t you? You want him ‘fixed’ so that you can be the fixer – or so you can have a bf without baggage – and not the real guy in front of you. Maybe he *isn’t* able to even get dogfood out on a regular schedule? Maybe he ought to be living with family who could help him with stuff like this – like his blood relatives or his supposedly-friendly ex-wife. But noooo … there’s apparently *no* story potential in Wally staying in the guestroom of *either* Funky-who-deals-with-many-issues-too *or* reestablishing his relationships with his kids by living there, while having to face that he’ll never have his family like it was, and having to become ‘just friends’ with Becky. Errrgh. /rant

    Phantom: should be submitted to failblog. The never-before-seen lieutenant picks up a prisoner, argues with the guard in charge of her, and punches him out … all so that he can ride off with her. Nope. Nothing suspicious here at *all*

  199. This Guy
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    11/17
    Crank: I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure they can have Ed involuntarily committed now. If that’s not being a danger to himself and others, I don’t know what is.

    DtM: “…molecuarly. She says he’s more sofa than man, now.”

    FC: I don’t even want to know what kind of depraved shit they’re discussing today. Family Circus turned into a hardcore sex comic so gradually, I didn’t even notice.

    Marvin: Look, Whatever Asshole Draws Marvin, you aren’t even fit to serve as Bill Watterson’s living furniture. Just stop.

    MW: Clearly, in panel two Mary is taking cover while she loads her shotgun. The best weapon against an overgesticulator is surprise.

    Pluggers: So pluggers are like koloss, continually growing larger and larger until they die?

  200. Fashion Police
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#107):
    We regard shabbiness as either an excusable consequence of poverty, or as an inexcusable exercise in self-indulgence. In either case, we do not find it any more prevalent among the criminal classes than elsewhere. Further, it certainly appears that gangster, or at least “gangsta” (which we take as a pretend kind of gangster) attire is sufficiently represented on the runways of Milan and elsewhere. Which is not to say that we necessarily find the offerings in Milan, Paris, New York, London or elsewhere – “fashionable” by definition perhaps – to be especially stylish, chic or attractive. Indeed, one may find much that is unsightly there. Perhaps even more that in the poorer quarters where self-indulgence is less of an option, and where the unsightly is at least honest.

  201. ElkMeadow
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#164):

    It would make financial sense to rent it, as it is paid for, until the market picks back up in a few years.

  202. Brimstone
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    he’s an Australian drug dealer, judging by the ‘no worries’

  203. KarMann
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Oh, another thing I meant to say about Groovy Blinkerlegume a few days ago.
    If Wally’s so completely broke because his back pay is still being held up, and his (former) friends and family aren’t doing anything to help him with his living situation, how is he supposed to have that computer for Rachel to show him that website on? Or are we supposed to believe that Becky kept his old computer around for a decade, even after it was long past obsolete, and brought it to him along with the trombone?

  204. Dewey's Coffee
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    Oh, Adrian. You did NOT just suggest to that adults are entitled to their privacy. Mary’ll turn you into chutney for that.

  205. ElkMeadow
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#203): And how is he suppose to be able to feed and take the dog to the vet, etc. when he’s so dirt poor? He doesn’t even have a car to go to the site. Looks like Rachel’s kid has been dumped out in the dirt, she’s so co-dependent man crazy right now.

  206. Dewey's Coffee
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Corrected: s/b “suggest that adults” not “suggest to that adults.”

  207. Poteet
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    FW — Wouldn’t it make more sense for Wally to get some psychological help before he gets a dog, or along with getting a dog? So he could at least function well enough to take the dog for a walk without freaking out, and have enough stability to buy dog food? But this is the Funkyverse, so what do I know.

  208. ElkMeadow
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    @Dewey’s Coffee (#204):

    I’m rather concerned about how Adrian had to jump back five feet somehow between the first and second panel to answer Mary, and how she looks so apologetic, as if she’s lying through her teeth.

  209. Poteet
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    MW — What kind of med school would graduate someone who is this fundamentally dumb?

  210. yaoi huntress earth
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    I hope I’m not being a bother, but I have an idea for my possible first Youtube video and since I’ve seen a number of most hated anime, video game or manga characters, I wanted to do one for the most hated comic strip characters. And wanted to have a more varied look outside my own so any output would be great.

  211. Uncle Lumpy
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:40 am [Reply]

  212. ElkMeadow
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:59 am [Reply]

    @hcv (#173):

    Lynn has now corrected her misspelling of “category” at gocomics and at her own site, including the archives. At this time, it is still misspelled at yahoo.comics.
    Her treasury collection’s first volume is due out, after Christmas.

  213. ElkMeadow
    November 17th, 2010 at 4:01 am [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#210):

    I already posted at calvinsdad, but I’ll do here again. Ted Forth’s mother-in-law. Ces, I hope that there isn’t anyone that evil in your life, because evil like that does exist in mine.

  214. Roman Fingers
    November 17th, 2010 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: And that table that used to be where the couch is now? Yeah, it’s in the bathtub. It’s a time of adjustment for us all, Margo.

    DT: Luckily, Dick doesn’t live in a world where that bill would be considered “evidence”. BTW, at the local coin dealer today, I saw that he had 3 $1000 bills in stock. Priced between $1200 and $1900, depending on condition. Just in case anybody is doing Christmas shopping for me….

    FC: In short, Dolly, know your place around here. The Keane Kompound is a society governed by the rules of primogeniture!

    reFOOB: I’m sorry, Ellie, did you say something? I wasn’t really paying attention…

    MT: It’s such an obvious solution, even the ducks in the background have it figured out!

    RMMD: (Do not make a comment about the way security is done in this country. Do not make a comment about the way security is done in this country. Do not make a comment…)

    MW: Always a cunning adversary, Mary begins to probe for any weakness in Jill that she can exploit.

  215. KarMann
    November 17th, 2010 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    11/17:
    Well, it looks like both Frazz and Edge City are horning in on Mark Trail‘s turf this week.

    Non Sequitur, on the other hand, seems to be coming after Josh today.

  216. dale
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    MT – Seems like a real person would have started with a phone call rather than just showing up. Also would have shown some ID on arrival.

  217. John C Fremont
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    MW – Look, I can understand why Adrian thinks she’s Marcel Marceau in the second panel, but what’s with the monk haircut?

    Sympathies, Rocky.

  218. The Ridger
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#198): My cousin got worried that his retrievers might be shot by hunters when the guy whose property was next to him leased it (this was years ago, but probably more true today). My cousin decided to put international orange vests on the dogs. One of them was killed and another injured by hunters who apparently shot at what they could see. Like the ones who shot Holsteins (the big black and white cows) thinking they’re deer (small, slim, and brown)… Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be visible.

  219. KarMann
    November 17th, 2010 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#218): Did your cousin live next to a quail-raising, canned-hunting game farm in Texas, by any chance?

  220. smacky
    November 17th, 2010 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    FC: Does PJ think he can breastfeed from all women?

  221. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Pluggers… can be used for flotation devices!

    Dick Tracy — An ethically challenged Dick decides to keep some of the evidence in the 3-D case!

  222. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Brevity — Stealth baby!

    Brenda Starr — Don’t miss the brief (2nd panel) appearance by Samantha’s cousin Sabrina from “Bewitched”!

    Barney & Clyde — That’s a lot of wordage for one little comic strip. Was someone “vaccinated by a phonograph needle”?

  223. Carlo
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#198): Today’s Archie (11/17) to me was like those old Magic Eye books. I had to stare at it for about 10 minutes before I could actually decipher that Archie’s jacket was supposedly stuck in the locker.

    It angers and confuses me!

  224. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Carlo (#223):

    I admire your persistence. I stared at today’s Archie comic for fully one minute before I gave up in disgust!

  225. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#212):

    I now know what to give the “naughty” people on my Christmas gift list!

  226. wossname
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Arch – I completely gave up on trying to figure out what was happening in panel 3, so thanks to the mudgeons who explained it. My next question is — why is that supposed to be funny? And why are they looking so terrified of Reggie or whoever that is?

    DT – Shut. Up. Dick.

    GT – Uh, Cody? You’re not going to college – you’re going to be doing hard time busting rocks in the big house. Don’t drop the soap – BWAhahaha!

    Luann – Shut. Up. Brad.

    MT- Ooh, nice tracing! If only you’d sent the color monkeys a picture of the actual colors on a wood duck, it would be even nicer. (For starters, they don’t have blue eyes.)

    MW – I know everyone will comment on Adrian’s new skunk-themed hair color, and her saintly demeanor in panel 2, but I’d just like to point out that in panel 1 Mary is holding a pan of genuine salmon squares, fresh from the oven (or the freezer or wherever it is that salmon squares congeal).

    OBH – That must be a seriously witchy puppet – it’s making Willie levitate.

    Pluggers – Ha. Ha. It’s funny because he’s morbidly obese.

    BTW, I know it’s been mentioned before that several of our fave (and less fave) cartoonists are visiting troops in Afghanistan. Mike Luckovich of AJC (political cartoonist, not comics) is one of them and posted some pretty interesting photos on his blog.

  227. Amateur
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW: Please, oh, please can we have a storyline where Jill washes her hands of Adrian’s unsophisticated wedding and heads across the Atlantic to be the Official Royal Wedding Snarker? “You gave her your MOM’S ring? [smirk, eyeroll] I wouldn’t have expected a prince to be that CHEAP. [sneer]” She’d set British-American relations back a thousand years.

  228. Chip Whittle
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#198):

    EC: colour monkey fail – I dearly hope. there’s enough risk of being accidentally shot by your hunting buds without *nobody* having a stitch of blaze orange on.

    If I understand correctly, then, you are opposed to the Edge City characters killing one another in a series of accidental shootings for some reason?

  229. Ed Dravecky
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    “Archie somehow walked into my locker door, teleported several feet to his left to be directly in front of my locker, then got his jacket caught in the left side of the locker door even though it clearly closes on the right. Physics is hard.”

  230. CanuckDownSouth
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#218): Yeah, I can see that happening*, but given the huge push to get everyone into quasi-neon orange if they’re near the woods, it didn’t strike me as realistic.

    * and far worse – a horrible case out here in MN that was prosecuted last year: guy killed a teen in his hunting party. The boy was in head-to-toe blaze orange, the man said he “thought” he saw a deer. No, you have to &!!$$#@ DEFINITELY see a deer to shoot! He was found guilty of some kind of murder-through-negligence

  231. CanuckDownSouth
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#228): I’m concerned about the walk-on extras being caught in the crossfire :-)

  232. boundingmain
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Really, Mark? Is the US Customs Department really that interesting? Perhaps it is, given that there is no such thing as the US Customs Department, and that “Dick Morgan” could then only be a deluded schizophrenic who fantasizes what life must be as a hair-slicked, vest-wearing, mustache-humping bureaucrat.

  233. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    NS: guest-starring, S!

    Candorville: Darby, when Wiley of all people can do a better technology joke, you need to reconsider your strip ideas.

    Bizarro: would have been better without the caption.

    F-: Slytherin!

    JP: please, Dixie flashbacks?!?

    PBS: heh. not bad for meta.

    Zits: Jeremy, you aren’t Legolas. Don’t even try.

    CdS: heh.

    Lio: nice gag. *applaz*

    Dilbert: Let me ‘splain.
    [pause]
    No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

    standard oversnark disclaimer.

  234. The Ridger
    November 17th, 2010 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#230): It’s in the woods! And moving! Of course it’s a deer! Or a squirrel at the very least…

  235. bunivasal
    November 18th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    What the evil one say? He said “So you’re dying? Good riddance!”

    Shit, I think that’s actually the punchline they’re angling for.

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