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“Onion”‘s Song

Curtis, 11/30/10

Though we may mock Curtis for the eternal clockwork-like return of its eight or so plots, in truth there is more than a little comfort that can be derived from this nonthreatening reliability; in this sense, the strip serves as a stand-in for the the newspaper comics section as a whole. So it’s a bit discombobulating when a new character is introduced, and even more so when an old character shows up in different circumstances. All Curtis trufans know that Derrick is always accompanied by his bullying partner “Onion,” and that when Curtis spots them, his thought balloon inevitably reads, “Oh no! Derrick and ‘Onion’!” But today we see that Derrick has put away childish things like friendship and has now entered the grown-up world of romance. And while it’s nice to see that he’s met someone who shares his core interests and horse-like laugh, it’s a little sad imagining “Onion” sitting somewhere with his hood cinched tightly around his face, bitter tears of abandonment running down his comically oversized nose.

Mary Worth, 11/30/10

Oh, God, this week is going to be all I hoped for and more, as a drunken, predatory Jill decides that she’s going to forcibly dance with any man who comes within arm’s reach. All reactions in soap opera strips are of course ludicrously overplayed, but I’m not sure why exactly Jeff’s face in panel two is framed by a nimbus of sheer panic. “Oh my God, Mary’s going to see me touching another woman! She’ll never agree to marry me now!”

Shoe, 11/30/10

I’m not sure what’s worse: the suggestion that the Perfesser’s car might have sexual needs, or the downright lascivious look the mechanic is sporting as he relays this fact. “Bet you never knew that cars had sex, did you? I’ve got some instructional videos on the subject around here … why don’t we watch them, and what happens, happens?”

228 responses to ““Onion”‘s Song”

  1. Jerseygull
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Gotta say I love the name “Veranda Post.”

  2. Yael
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    We can only hope that “Onion” has found a new squeeze as well (or is that “squeeze”? I get so confused!) – perhaps a fine lady with a food-related nickname who shares his love of hoodies and lame bullying. I look forward to the upcoming double-date where Derrick, Veranda, “Onion” and “To Be Declared” share a braying laugh as they call Curtis “Wimpkins” and try to air some old “yo mama” “jokes”. That “would” be interesting. (Wait, I got those “quote marks” “wrong”, didn’t “I”? “Eeeek”! They’re “running” “rampant”! “Someone” “call” “Jurisfiction”!)””””””

  3. Kore
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Are you sure that’s panic on Jeff’s face? Maybe it’s rapture so immediate it’s painful. “Oh my God, Mary’s going to see me touching another woman! She’ll never agree to marry me now!”

  4. Dan
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Whoo! Jill’s gonna break Mary’s man, and leave him in a kneeless heap on the dance floor! I doubt Mary will be able to hold back the punches and ninja kicks after that. Please, oh please, show us Mary Worth beating a drunken blond to a bloody pulp!

  5. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Crock“She must’ve had ugly legs.”
    Ya Think? I mean, since everything in your universe is startlingly ugly, including the supposed glamor girls who, in almost any other venue would preserve fruit by scaring away the microbes that cause rotting?

    Pluggers – Only pluggers have ever been fooled by ketchup coming out of the bottle too quickly. Riiiight. Well, actually this becomes a true statement if, between the words “fooled” and “by” we insert “every single goddamn time.”

    Mary – There’s so much going on in this strip. Dr. Jeff’s Spider-sense in panel 2 is the least of it. Is Jill having some kind of brain embolism in the first panel? Is that why her head is spinning? Why is a little blob of some kind shooting up from the region of her backside? Is it a precursor to the musical notes that spring into existence in the next panel? What’s in the goblet in panel 1 that heeds no gravity? Hardened red paint? Will naughty Jill have to submit to a Citizen Caning later?

  6. skeltometer
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Seriously, is Kelly’s real name Kelly Welly in MT? Wow… Or is she into self-parody to try and hide her true identity? Is the AGCLU 3000 writing MT now?

  7. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#y152): Everybody can detect a bad toupee. One that’s been placed by someone who knows what he’s doing, perhaps not — and not everybody with bad hair is wearing one.

    @Mr O’Malley (#y191): My attention was first drawn to Colleen Moore because of the fabulous doll house at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry, which will probably get shot up some time when Dick Tracy brings “Tiny” in. After that, I was lucky enough to see “Ella Cinders” on “The Toy That Grew Up” on public TV.

    @gleeb (#y197): Curtis: Eh, she’s no “Onion”.
    If not for the height difference, I’d say it’s possible she used to be.

  8. Doctor Handsome
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Jill’s forehead vein throbs ominously as she unleashes her Talosian psychic assault on Jeff, reducing him to a helpless state of uncomprehending terror.

  9. MattF
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    OMG, THE JILL-BEAST HAS CLEAVAGE. THERE’S STUFF UNDER THAT DRESS!!!!

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    this thread needs some bebeh raccoons.

    corgi pups in a pile of leaves are fine too.

    lack of squee today as well. :-(

  11. Terry in Maryland
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Savarna is both a hot mistress and a darn fine deus ex machina.

  12. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Yael (#2):

    “Bloomin” would be my vote.

  13. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Terry in Maryland (#11): “Ghost-who-likes-gals-with-big-guns” [*]

  14. wossname
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#10): The next time I have to get my picture taken (a revolting prospect), I’m coming to you for some squee to make me smile angelically.

  15. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    DT – This is starting to look more and more like an Andy Griffith episode, with Dick as Barney Fife.

    FC – Judging by the design of the cars, I’m guessing today’s strip is from about 1962 or so.

    FW – I admit I chucked, partly because I did this to my parents once…

    MT – ‘Uh, no, I’ll do that. I want to give him a special greeting…

    MW – This is the most interesting thing to happen on Mary Worth since, well, ever.

  16. Ol'Froth
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Oh, I hope Jill barfs down Jeff’s back on the dance floor!

  17. The Grandstander
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Agree with all about the awesomeness of today’s Mary Worth. I am wondering if it will soon be revealed that Jill is the illegimate daughter of Helen (hic) Clark.

  18. Dennis Jimenez
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MW – The halo of saintly doctor J., leads me to believe he has cured that zit in the middle of Jill’s forehead, by a simple laying on of hands….

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#14): a smile like dis? :-D

  20. Amateur
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Curtis: “Somebodda”? Is Derrick related to Jimmeh Carter?

    MW: Why, Dr. Jeff, your nails are just lovely.

  21. Ethan Shuster
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    You must realize that in the world of Mary Worth, such dancing is the equivalent of having sex. All that touching and swaying. Granted, Jeff probably wouldn’t even get THAT from Mary, as gut-wrenching as the thought may be.

    I could also make some kind “pearl necklace” comment, but I’m much too classy to actually do it properly.

  22. Andie
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    I got the impression that Jill was literally ‘Spinning’ that guy on the dancefloor. The look of panic to me screamed ‘Oh god, my knees! My poor crippled knees! This crazy drunk is gonna break me!’

    That being said, I’m a little jealous of Jill’s cleavage.

  23. Digger
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    MW: By the time this night is over, Mary will no longer want Dr. Jeff, as he will be “damaged goods.” Once Jill rips the orange suit off it’s going to be all over.

  24. The Modesto Kid
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Ol’Froth (#16): Clearly that’s why he wore the orange suit.

  25. mojo
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    So Mary Worth could go either way, it looks.

    Situation one has Jill drunkenly INJURING Dr. Jeff and his bad knees on the dance floor. (I don’t recall Dr. Jeff having bad knees and using a cane until it was mentioned last week, but perhaps I just haven’t cared enough to pay attention.) He will need to be rushed to the hospital, Adrian will be certain her wedding is RUINED, but in the end they will either have it in the emergency waiting room … or Dr. Jeff will bravely come to the service and reception in a wheelchair and Adrian will dance with him THAT way.

    Situation two has Jeff and Jill embarking on a torrid affair (ugh), culminating a month from now with Mary trying to tell Jeff he’s throwing what little life he has left away, and Jeff insisting, “Jill and I have something SPECIAL! She loves me for who I AM! You just don’t UNDERSTAND us!” much like a teenager does right before he Runs Away and Learns a Valuable Lesson.

  26. Austria
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Blondie: See, rest of the comics page? This is how you reference technology. No fuss, no muss, no repeated, contrived jokes.

    Curtis: Honestly, I’m more concerned with the fact that Derrick’s tongue is flapping about outside his mouth, BGSS-style. Watch out, Snuffy! He’s gunning for your spot!!

    FW: I think I now officially love Summer.

    GF: I was right. Still loving this.

    MW: Oh, this is wonderful. Drunken Jill is the best thing to happen to soap opera legacy comics since “Mayor Dalton’s prostate has a Pacebook page?!”

    Zits: Do I really need to reiterate my love for Pierce? Because I love Pierce, I really do.

  27. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    It’s a well-known but idle fact that pearls at a wedding dress rehearsal are the effete woman’s answer to peeling the label off of her beer. If you don’t know what I mean, go out tonight, find a honkytonk somewhere along the interstate and watch. Jill will swaddle herself in store-bought hootch at five-star prices, swirl her necklace ’round her neck like a hula hoop and fellate poor Dr. Jeff Cory before he even realizes his pants are at his knobbish knees. All in front of Mary, Adrian, the cop, and the extended parties.

    Sort of like Elizabeth but without the anal tidbits.

  28. Chyron HR
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Curtis – “Veranda Post”? I applaud “Onion” for embracing his true self, but that’s a pretty shitty drag name, son. I mean, girl-FRAND. Whatever.

    9 Chickweed Lane – He’s a “gay in denial”? A GAY IN DENIAL? Well, at least Brooke didn’t say anything offensive like “sugarplum fairy”. That would be inexcusable.

    Edge City – “What was Hanukkah like when I was a kid? Oh, such a pain cleaning that temple up, those Syrians were raised in a barn maybe? Now stop asking stupid questions before I smack you.”

  29. mojo
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    All Jill is missing to give me TOTAL JOY is the “HIC!” If she HIC!‘s sometime this week, Christmas will have come early for me.

  30. Red Greenback
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    I’m no geologist, but I can see that the Perfesser’s car is in heat by the way she’s “presenting” her fins and tail lights.
    Also, is anyone else imagining the theme from Jaws playing in Mary Worth‘s panel 2?

  31. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    MW-C’mon bub! If Aunt May can marry Mole Man I can dance with you! And you better be good!

  32. TheDiva
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    9CL: Oh gee, a hidebound conservative who’s really just suppressing his own homosexual desires. Nobody’s ever done something that daring and original before.

    FW: Great, Summer, now he’s going to drop everything and rush home so he can fit you with a tracking anklet at chastity belt.

    MW: Go for it, Dr. Jeff! Every wedding needs at least one episode of wild drunken sex in the coat room, and it would be a shame to let that Cialis you took in the vain hope of thawing Mary’s titanium-clad resolve to go to waste…

    PBS: It’s times like this I wish comics had sound effects.

    SM: What’s so terrible about them? I mean sure, they do look like kind of a cross between hobbits and the Oscar statue, but the result isn’t necessarily nauseating. Anyone who’s ever sat across the table from Aunt May on Thanksgiving has faced much worse, I’m sure.

  33. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @mojo (#25):

    right before he Runs Away and Learns a Valuable Lesson.

    The valuable lesson being that he should have run away from Mary, his family, Charterstone, and Santa Royale decades ago.

  34. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Shoe: “See, yer car here is named Christine (betcha didn’t know that, did ya), and she was turned down by that fella Herbie. Hell, even that secret agent car Kit won’t speak to ‘er! An’ you know how Christine gets when she’all’s frustrated! Wouldn’t wanna be in your claws, mister driver, no SIR!”

    9CL: Great dialogue (for once).

    Between Friends: Much easier being a woman in Strangers in Paradise (at least in that way)!

    MT: The foolishness is about to begin….

    MW: And now, the fun really begins! I already like drunk, troublemaking Jill Black much more than hateful put-down Jill Black.
    However, that woman in the background? The one without a nose? Omigod, THAT’S A REALISTICALLY DRAWN CATHY!!! AAAAAUGH!! (seems she’s lost some weight since she lost the comics gig…)

    Marvin: She’s not wearing one of them now, of course.

    R=R: Odd… the commercials are all for bathroom products.

    Other Coast: That ain’t lemon juice!

    Zits: Ask a silly question….

  35. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MW-Jill is about to find out that salmon squares taste even worse coming up than they do going down.

  36. Patrick
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, the main effect of alcohol on Jill is the expansion of her forehead.

  37. mvg
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I’m w/Kore (3), that’s not panic on Jeff’s face. Judging by the shimmering halo surrounding his head, he’s just been struck blind like Saul on the road to Damascus. And it shall be written:

    He fell to the floor and heard a voice say to him, “Jeff, Jeff, why do you deny me?”
    “Who are you?” Jeff asked.
    “I am Sex, whom you are denying,” she replied. “Now get up and go into the cloakroom, and you will be told what you must do.”

    This because his constant begging at the feet of Mary is an abomination. Of COURSE she turns down his repeated proposals — she obviously already wedded Beelzebub in order to gain her mantle of meddlesomeness.

  38. Walker of Dog
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    A3G: The changed font size in Margo’s last dialogue balloon tells us that the Decency Police got ahold of today’s strip. The original statement: “Maybe but ten bucks says he wants to scalp you to make a wig for his mother.”

    FC: I see the revolution has begun, and a certain Mr. Kringle is one of the guillotine’s first bourgeois victims. Bil, if you want to keep your head, I’d lose the fedora.

    MW: So, that little star on Jill’s forehead: not a stroke, but actually her new skin-carving honoring the Zia tribe of the American Southwest and their sacred Sun symbol (as seen on the New Mexico state flag). Body art done under the influence of alcohol in a restaurant bathroom mirror with the carving knife from the roast beef station is the best body art.

    Phan: “OK… witty bon-mots, spectacular explosions, trampling the skulls of our enemies…that ought to do it. Walker out.”

    RMMD: One of the building’s gargoyles has wandered away from the roofline.

    S-M: Subterranean kilts are lame. And that guy on the left is totally coming on to me.

  39. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I love Margo’s expression here. This is no girlish teasing, it’s a sociopath testing someone for chinks in their armor.

    Blondie – Man, Kingdom of Loathing has gotten even weirder since I last visited.

    C&B – This is why I love Cow & Boy.

    Crankshaft – Psst, Batiuk, “digital” does not mean what you think it means.

    Curtis – I’m sure Curtis is going to drive this storyline into the ground within three weeks, but I do at least applaud its use of the term “thugess.” (I prefer “ruffienne,” myself, though.)

    FW – Summer, you kick ass. Now if you could just find a believable way to imply wild monkey sex with Cory Winkerbean over the phone…

    JP – Sam’s wry smirk at the thought of people trying to seduce him is pretty amusing. Oh you ladies, why do you try? You will never move the immovable object that is Sam!

    Luann – WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT ALREADY

    MT – I tried to understand how the straps crossing Kelly’s chest work, and then I remembered that humans are the one thing Elrod doesn’t draw from high-detail reference photos.

    MW – Oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes. This could only be better if she had instead grabbed Scott (who, uh, seems to be wholly absent, but who can blame him?) Then we could watch Adrian fling herself about in overwrought poses, distraught over how her fiance could be so callous as to let himself be danced with by another woman against his will! Still, watching Jeff be tossed around like a rag doll by a drunken, spiteful giantess is something I could only have dreamed of seeing in the funny pages, until now! Thank you, Mary Worth!

    Phantom – That’s not a BOOM! gun, that’s a KA-BOOM! gun. Savarna doesn’t fuck around.

    Popeye – Please God let her pull some hideous creature from the depths that announces itself engaged to her. Please, that’s all I ask.

    RMMD – Even Paul Stookey can’t believe how ridiculous this denouement is!

    SF – Ces, you’re awesome.

    SM – Are those the Martians from Quatermass and the Pit on the platters? “Aged for five million years in an indestructible vessel, these insect-like creatures have a smoky flavor with chitin overtones and notes of genocide.”

  40. Pseudo3D
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @mvg (#37): And of course, to live forever. Hence, that’s why Mary Worth has been an old lady since the 1940s or so.

  41. AndyL
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    I must be tough parking a car in a tree.

  42. Dan
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Personally, I like Jill’s visible calm-down between panels one and two. She goes from a drunk lady on the prowl to a generally bemused party-goer in one swift motion. I can only assume that skin-to-skin contact with Jeff has some sort of instantaneous desexualizing effect on women, and that this why Mary is reluctant to marry him.

  43. Anonymous
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Jeff is worried because Jill’s forcible dancing will screw up his knee, and he’ll be unable to walk his daughter down the aisle. Woe.

  44. Johnny Q
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Maybe Onion got plastic surgery and a sex-change operation!

    Mary Worth: Before long the Mary Worth posse will be telling Jill “You’d better not… steal Jeff from Mary!”

  45. Fashion Police
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    One wonders if Miss Black merely grabbed the first available dancing partner in spite of his appearance, or if she, discerning the orange suit of distinction, deliberately picked on the Father of the Bride to share her humiliation. In either case she certainly did not let her reach exceed her grasp.

  46. Cornwhacker
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    I highly doubt that Veranda is actually a trans/drag incarnation of ‘Onion’. If that were the case, wouldn’t her name be ‘Vidalia’?

  47. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    MW: Like many of you, I am very much looking forward to Jeff greviously injuring himself as he spastically tries to avoid Jill’s grinding crotch.

    Popeye: Has Olive always been so homicidal?

    RxMD: Rex is thinking, “Hey! I’ve got ignorance and ego in spades! Maybe I should go into politics!”

    Slylock: In high school, some friends and I created a cartoon “character” called a penisfish. We drew dozens of comics about penisfish and their uses (there were, like, two). Except for a few lacking details, today’s panels are an almost perfect reproduction of the penisfish origin story, especially when it comes to the fisherman’s facial expression.

  48. Dennis Jimenez
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Onion in drag – I’d have to go with the Lady of Shalott – thank you Alfred Lord Tennyson….

  49. ComcisFan
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: There goes Whoville, flying right off Jill’s head and drifting toward her shoulder pad.

    And with barely a slosh in her splishy red drink
    And hardly a moment for one Who to blink
    That small speck of dust flew right past Jill’s ear
    And floated quite close to the groom-to-be’s beer.

    In a whirling air current encircling Doc Jeff
    The mayor of the Whos shouted, “Geez, what the eff?”
    The speck-quake was instant, the risk quite severe
    The Whos yelled, unheard, “We are here! we are here!”

    Jill too drunk to listen, the music too loud,
    Whoville floated, unnoticed, through the prenuptial crowd
    A strange blinding light forced the Whos all to hide
    As they flew past the beams of an odd, obtuse bride.

    They landed, at last, on a quaint buffet spread
    With punch and small sandwiches on white Wonder bread
    And as one guest named Wilbur got ready to bite
    The Whos shouted: “Stop! We’re not food! It’s not right!”

    And that one guest, that Wilbur, he heard all the Whos
    And wondered out loud if he’d had too much booze
    “No!” the Whos shouted. “You’re sober, you heard
    If you eat us, you’re likely to come down with GERD!”

  50. Government Cheese
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Jeff’s reaction to Jill’s advances are something out of a comic strip version of “The 40 Year Old Virgin”.

  51. Col. Havoc
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#15): I think you meant “Chuckled”, but it was funnier your way.

  52. Francisco Arrowroot
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Veranda knows where Curtis shops because she’s wearing the same shirt. She’s not laughing at Curtis, but rather out if her own sense of shame and gender confusion manifested externally as Curtis.

  53. JD
    November 30th, 2010 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Rather than try to care about Shoe’s joke, I’m fixated by the bird-thing again: Why do birds need cars? How do they drive from tree to tree? Why do I care so much?

  54. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Col. Havoc (#51): Oh, geez, I just noticed that…that’s what I get for posting before I have my first cup of coffee…

  55. Edgy DC
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    With a shorn head, military-ish cap, strong upper body, and a name that comes from architecture, I’m not sure Derrick has found a romantic partner so much as a fellow hallway martinet (or martinette). You’d think, “Onion shmunion, Derrick’s got a new partner in pain,” but you know, I think maybe the old relationship has simply evolved and Veranda is simply Onion in drag.

  56. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Margo: “TEN BUCKS SAYS HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!…which makes him a complete idiot.”

  57. odinthor
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Ah, it’s mano a mano between Colleen Moore and Louise Brooks here at CC!

    Unfortunately, today they’re both having a bad day:

    Louise Brooks

    Colleen Moore

  58. Calico
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Wow, a drunken, boorish Jill, and Kelly Welly is stalking Mark Trail again.
    It’s Christmas in the comics!

  59. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for Curtis – face it, if you go to an inner city school with a John Deere cap glued to the back of your head, people are gonna pick on you.

  60. Pozzo
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Regarding panel one of MW: take a look next to Jill’s head (our left, her right). I think someone should call Horton and let him know we found the dandelion that the Who’s live on.

  61. Pop Goes the Weasel
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#49): Nice Work!

  62. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#15): “This is the most interesting thing to happen on Mary Worth since, well, ever.” I’m not so sure. Remember:
    * The “Shootout at the SantaRoyMart?”
    * Toby ordering a gift on the Internet?
    * When Gail Martin was declared “The Rock and Roll Carole King?”
    * The inflating-deflating shopaholic and Fine Ernie?
    * The whole “Queenie” episode?

    @TheDiva (#32) on Spiderman: THAT’s why those guys look so familiar. They’re Oscars.

    @terrapin (#35): “Jill is about to find out that salmon squares taste even worse coming up than they do going down.” Is that even technically possible?

    @Dan (#42): ” I can only assume that skin-to-skin contact with Jeff has some sort of instantaneous desexualizing effect…” A 10-cent phrase for “wang shriveler” perhaps?

  63. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#62):

    @terrapin (#35): “Jill is about to find out that salmon squares taste even worse coming up than they do going down.” Is that even technically possible?

    I’d think they’d taste better coming up because of the semidigested remnants of actual food coming up with them.

  64. Indichik
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers have yet to realize that, in order to solve this very problem, ketchup has been coming in squeeze bottles for the last ten years.

  65. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#62): You make many excellent observations, but “When Gail Martin was declared ‘The Rock and Roll Carole King?’” happened in (Death To) Gil Thorp.

  66. Pseudo3D
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#62): Of course it is! Haven’t you ever eaten something that wasn’t quite right and found yourself leaning over a toilet a few hours later?

  67. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Brenda: “Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s thinner than money.”

    Win.

  68. AndyL
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#66): Perhaps he meant that salmon squares are the absolute-zero of flavor.

  69. Dan
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#62): I hope so! If Jill has a wang to shrivel, then this story has more twists and turns ahead than we could have possibly hoped for!

  70. TheTJ
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    I think Jeffs terror is more due to the fact that the dance floor is behind him and she’s dragging him towards the windows.

  71. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Indichik (#64): While this is true, every time I encounter a ketchup bottle in a restaurant, it’s the old glass kind, I presume because it looks classier. It still doesn’t make sense, as Plugger-frequented dining establishments A. don’t give a crap about class, and B. are much more likely to have ketchup in packets.

  72. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#67):

    I remember it as “Blood is thicker than water, but cheaper than beer.” From one of the bats (B’witched, B’mothered, or B’mused) in Pogo.

  73. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#67): Agreed. I almost never comment on Brenda because there’s so little to snark about. For instance, in any other strip, Trip’s dad would really have been senile and played for Oh-Shucks-That’s-Just-My-Demented-Dad! sitcom style laughs, but Mary Schmich uses it as a key point of plot and characterization. Anyway, it’s nice to see others here appreciate Brenda.

  74. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#73): Also, in RxMD the tagline would have been, “Blood may be thicker than water, but it’s thinner than butter,” followed by Rex smiling smugly at his heart disease-related witticism for the following three strips.

  75. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Indichik (#64): And Pluggers love the farty noise a squeeze ketchup bottle makes…
    @Baka Gaijin (#62): And how could I forget the whole ‘Lonnie the Suburban Vigilante’ plot? Baka, I stand corrected.

  76. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#73): Yeah, Brenda Starr is good stuff. Kind of hard to follow at points, but it’s just nice to see a comic strip that has a reasonably complex plot and more mature themes without vanishing up its own ass 9CL-style. Now if I only knew a place to get higher-resolution versions than goComics offers…

  77. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    “Blood may be thicker than water, but how is its viscosity relevant to the question of familial loyalty?”

  78. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Jeff’s expression in the last panel is a textbook visualization of the medical condition hyperpremature ejaculation.

    Zits: Proving once again that Jeremy is a total loser and his mother should really look into a 45th trimester abortion.

    Sally Forth: Ted is a graduate cum laude of the Brad DeGroot School of Conclusion-Jumping.

    The Better Half: Harriet channels Elly Foob. Seriously.

    Marvin: “I’ve got a couple of bras that do the same thing.” Honey, unless those bras are made of queen-sized bed pillows, a Wonder Bra can’t do much with your barely-Olive Oyl titties.

  79. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#78): Every time a comment here induces me to read Marvin, I wind up wishing for the annihilation of the entire human race. You’d think I’d learn to stop.

  80. wossname
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#19): If I could look that cute, I’d get my picture taken all the time.

    @Scott Bot (#75): And neither one of you mentioned what’s arguably the greatest of them all – Aldomania.

  81. Spunde
    November 30th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Big Nate: Thank you, Francis, for correcting Nate’s misuse of “jealous.” Too bad you won’t have time to explain the distinction introduced by “zealous” before you get brained by Teddy’s textbook.

    Zits: This is a repeat of my favorite Zits strip: “What happened?” “Hector hit me with a rock.” “What were you two doing?” “Trying to hit each other with rocks.”

    I think hitting each other with rocks is funnier than pushing each other down the stairs, but the classics never get old.

  82. Amateur
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wait a minute. Welly is Kelly’s actual last name? It’s not just some nickname Josh and the Mudges made up? Her name is Kelly Welly?

    I . . . I think I need to go lie down.

  83. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#63):I guess only Jill will know…after she’s done heaving like a college freshman on dollar beer night.

  84. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#63): I was thinking more about that Poison Control advice: do not induce vomiting. Like battery acid, one should send a neutralizer down the throat rather than expelling the salmon squares back up the gullet.

    @gnome de blog (#65): Was wondering if anyone was reading that list. Gail Martin was a great summer, you gotta admit.

    @Dan (#69): Jill could be a hermaphrodite. The wang shrivels, the pussy throbs. I just completely grossed myself out.

    @Scott Bot (#75): ‘Lonnie the Suburban Vigilante’? I don’t remember. Did it involve the Bum Boat, a pool party, or furniture that randomly moves around the room?

    @commodorejohn (#79): Hey, I warned you of mosquito-bite boobies.

    @wossname (#80): Aldomania? Never heard of it.

  85. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    MW-I hate to keep snarking on the same strip but this one is comical on so many levels. I just noticed the look of absolute panic on Jeffs’ face. “Oh no! I’m being dragged onto the dance floor by a totally blitzed woman! There is no way I can escape the grasp of her tiny hand!”

  86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#66): yes, but I got a T-shirt out of the deal. (hot wings contest at the local party store.) ye gods, was I miserable for the rest of the night, and felt like I was hung over the whole next day. Next day I wore the T-shirt, the QG said “I can’t believe you’re actually wearing that” and I shrugged and pointed out “It was purchased with pain.”

  87. Buck Ripsnort
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    And The Wind Cries Mary Worth: Having been in Jeff’s exact position at the last wedding I attended, I gotta say he’s getting off easy. The drunken ho-bag in question doesn’t weigh 300 pounds or appear to be on the verge of barfing. And from that first panel, it looks like her time in Thailand taught her a few interesting tricks w/ ping-pong balls.

  88. AhClem
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    MW – If it turns out that Jill is really a man, and she/he discovers through dance-floor groping that Jeff isn’t, I will take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about this strip.

  89. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#84): Gah, yes. How do you even do that? It’s like Armstrong’s either never seen a woman smaller than a C cup and doesn’t have any idea how to draw one, or just straight-up doesn’t give a shit. (And we all know, there’s nothing Tom Armstrong gives like shit.)

  90. Black Drazon
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Jill’s reluctant dance partner has spent the better part of the last week addressing his increasingly useless legs, so we can only hope that this wedding ends with the sundering of a highly temporary friendship, and also the father of the bride’s ankles. Mary will stand by him, of course, as she lovingly makes suggestions about how to prepare his casts.

  91. Kittymama
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#71): Mmmmm, it might be because squeeze bottles can slurp stuff back up when released, which would contaminate the ketchup remaining in the bottle, rendering it unsuitable for use by multiple customers.

  92. ms. docweasel
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    “Jill decides that she’s going to forcibly dance with any man who comes within arm’s reach.”

    And where you say “dance”, you mean “ride like the hydrolic Stygian”.

    If you’re unfamiliar with girls riding the Stygian, GTFTG, realizing it’s NSFW although YMMV, IYKWIMAITYD.

  93. Anonymous
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#78) said:

    Sally Forth: Ted is a graduate cum laude of the Brad DeGroot School of Conclusion-Jumping.

    I’d say it’s the other way around – Brad’s the grasshopper. As in all things, Ted is the Master.

  94. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @ms. docweasel (#92): GTFTG, realizing it’s NSFW although YMMV, IYKWIMAITYD.

    OMG, I don’t know WTF half of those mean…LOL.

  95. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @ms. docweasel (#92): Actually @ms. docweasel (#92): Actually, I think you mean “Sybian”, although dancing with Jill might be like floating on a river in Hades.

  96. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#93): Now that you mention it, yeah, Brad’s the padawan.

  97. nescio
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    I used to not read Brenda Starr due to lack of interest. Then I read the comments in this thread and now have an Andy Gibb song stuck in my head. So now I won’t read Brenda Starr out of spite.

  98. greghousesgf
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Shoe–is that what they mean by auto-erotic?

  99. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#96): I did NOT need the visual of Brad dressed as Ahsoka Tano.

    My sister, who usually sends snark, sent a B-Day card with squee on it. Two adorable wolfpups sleeping in some flowers. Also only had two people in front of me at DMV, so it’s been a better afternoon than anticipated!

  100. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#57): The still of Colleen Moore you linked is from a film called ORCHIDS AND ERMINE… and the “midget” is a very young Mickey Rooney!

  101. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#99): Happy Birthday and who’s “Ahsoko Tano?”

  102. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#96): For the record, #93 was me.

    @nescio (#97): Your loss.

  103. Austria
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wait…….wait……….wait.

    Her name………her name is actually Kelly Welly.

    I……………..

  104. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Curtis — Her name is “Veranda” because she was conceived on the porch of her teenage mother’s house!

  105. Helen Clark
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Now we’re ((hic)) talkin’, dammit.

  106. littlestevie
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    MW: I want to know where Adrian’s brother is. Wasn’t he invited to the wedding? I think he is still in Vietnam shipping over heroin and massage call girls to the states from his “Peace” village. But you would think that he could of taken time out from his BUSY schedule and go to his sisters wedding. That way Jill could find some younger meat to do the tube snake boogie (thanks ZZTop) with than poor old Dr. Jeff. I would also have to guess that Porn-Boy Charlie was not invited to this as well.

  107. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#102): So you weren’t going incognito, so to speak? Good. That was a great post.

  108. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: “Squeeze”? I think that Billingsley learned all his urban street-talk from watching old Bowery Boys movies.

    FC: I hope they’re going shopping to buy Thel some shoes.

    JP: Sam’s wry smile creeps me out: “Yes, women are drawn to me—but I deny them my essence.”

    MW: Uh, Jeff, you didn’t practice that move with Mary.

    MT: Even the palm trees are extra-helpful at Sea Breeze Fishing Camp.

  109. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#99): Were you short on squee today? Here’s a birthday gift to make up for it: http://www.zooborns.com/

  110. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#108):

    Curtis: “Squeeze”? I think that Billingsley learned all his urban street-talk from watching old Bowery Boys movies.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Curtis use “mook” as well, so, yeah.

  111. littlestevie
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    FW: Just read today’s strip. Batiuk just sent Les to my town, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  112. heavylifting
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    MT: So if Cherry gets wind of Kelly’s antics at the Fishing Lodge, will Cherry show up there in typical Mark Trail fashion to take out Kelly with her own fists? And if Kelly should get the upper fist, so to speak, can we say that she popped Mark’s Cherry?

  113. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#111): Now’s your chance! To the book depository!

  114. Windier E. Megatons
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Despite her love of stating her name and her enthusiasm for dancing, Jill was soon kicked off “Yo Gabba Gabba” for being both too old and too drunk.

  115. Charterstoned
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    MW – That’s Jill??? I thought it was Toby. (They look alike to me.)

  116. Steve the Pocket
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Crock: Normally the point of having two people working on a strip is to avoid situations where something will sound funny to the writer and nobody else, because at least one other person will have to read it before it goes to print. But then again, does it look like the guy who draws this strip gives a shit?

    Family Circus has abandoned all pretense of not being reruns from the ’60s. Just look at those cars! Sad thing is, most of its fans won’t notice, because statistically most Family Circus fans have Alzheimer’s and believe it’s still the 1960s.

    Marvin: It’s almost like he’s going for the kind of immature audience that Beavis and Butthead satirized, the sort who’d go “Huh-heh, boobies!” even though there’s no real joke here. Only within the boundaries of what you can print in a newspaper comics strip.

    Pluggers: Shake and shake the catsup bottle; none will come, and then a lot’ll. – Richard Armour, who was being funny long before you weren’t.

    Zits:@Spunde (#81): I knew it sounded familiar! More proof that Zits can only be funny when it’s shamelessly ripping off its old jokes. Maybe this strip should give up and go into reruns; I think I would welcome the improvement.

  117. bunivasal
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    Veranda Post? Get it? Because she looks like a wrap-around deck support? Hee-haw! Bray! Yah yah yah!

    Seriously though what does she look like? Some sort of gnome wearing a shower cap?

  118. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#109): dual squee!! (thanks!)

    @Baka Gaijin (#101): Ahsoka Tano is the young female padawan of Anikin Skywalker in the Star Wars The Clone Wars series.

  119. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    AnAkin Skywalker, rather.

  120. wooddragon
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#49): So awesome!

  121. This Guy
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    R==R: The psychiatrist, I’d say.

    @greghousesgf (#y217): Now you’d better not be talking smack about my Skyline, friend. Prometheus himself gave humans the recipe, saying: “Oh, by the way, here’s something cool you can do with that fire stuff I brought you the other day.”

  122. Firesandfowl
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    What’s going to happen when Jill realizes that Adrian is wearing the same dress as she is?????

  123. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#115): I think you’re on to something. Victoria “Toby” Cameron, airhead, doormat, searching for a way to tap into the basic sense of pride and self-worth that normal humans have. Then an accidental overdose of sweet, sweet booze interacts with her low self-esteem. And now when Toby Cameron grows bored or doubtful, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by spite and pursued by an investigative meddler…

  124. Professor Fate
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: Now all i can think of is the Nils Lofgren song “I came to dance” which isn’t that great to dance to. And this always happens when someone plays Wild Cherry’s hit Play that funky music white boy.

    FW: Summer the thing to do now is change the locks.

  125. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

  126. littlestevie
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#113): I am trying, but I can’t figure out what freakin’ hotel he is staying at.

  127. Amateur
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wait, isn’t Mark supposed to be there on some sort of undercover mission? But he’s using his own name?

    Of course, this is Mark we’re talking about. He probably checked in at the front desk with a cheery “Hello, my name is Mark Trail, and I’m here to spy on your other guests! Can I get some help with my bags?”

  128. Chip Whittle
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Broom Hilda: News anchors Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsey? Looks like somebody else has been watching the short comedy movies on Turner Classic Movies there.

    Dick Tracy: Ah, a diversion operation. Yes, I think the strategic air bombing of Downtown Tracyville while Dick Tracy looks impassively and uninvolvedly on will be most diverting, don’t you? Maybe we can take in a pandemic after dessert, too.

    Gasoline Alley: Ha ha! See, it’s entertaining because Uncle Walt is crippled by an inability to distinguish reality from TV shows. And happy holidays to all of you, too!

    Graffiti: Again, just piling up words doesn’t necessarily make for a joke.

  129. Dennis Jimenez
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    BB – Now I’da thought this would have been funny today if Sarge said something like, “Zero asked for a pass, so I passed gas, and he passed out.”

  130. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#126): Be patient. Batuik’s bound to make San Diego throw a parade in Les’s honor.

  131. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Amateur (#127): They’ll all know in 10 minutes anyway because Mark can’t think anything without also saying it out loud. “I WONDER IF THAT GUY IS THE SMUGGLER I WAS SENT HERE TO FIND?”

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#131): I have this vision, of a Scooby-Doo/MT cross-over, and both dogs facepalming over Mark’s stupidity.

    “Re rowles ro rat?”

    Andy just buries his head in his paws.

  133. Scott Bot
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#108): JP: Sam’s wry smile creeps me out: “Yes, women are drawn to me—but I deny them my essence.”

    If he starts talking about flouridation, it’s time to run.

  134. Mr Foofram
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Indichik (#64):
    Pluggers don’t know about those fancy squeeze bottles of ketchup because they’re still working on the five cases of glass bottle ketchup they got for 59 cents a bottle at the dollar store in 1988.

  135. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#116):
    Re Family Circus: The fly in that ointment is that many of us who were around during the 60s don’t remember much about them.

  136. Plinko Commie
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: Ah, Christmas! The sounds of carols, Jeffy excitedly begging his parents to decorate the house, sales signs, a great big tree and, of course, the decapitated head of Santa Claus as a warning to those who would desecrate the birth of Jesus by not being a conspicuous enough consumer or by saying Happy Holidays insted of Merry Christmas and To Hell With The Rest!

  137. Bryan
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: Oh, I get it. When I saw yesterday’s Spiderman I thought that guy was the Mole Man in his lounging-around-the-house wear and I was really freaked out. Aunt May “Eeeee”-ing in either disgust or delight (or both) didn’t help matters any.

    Now that I know that it’s just the Mole Man’s cabana boys, I feel slightly less queasy.

  138. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Mr Foofram (#134): Mr. Foofram, I know Pluggers. Pluggers are friends of mine. You’re no Plugger. Five cases of ketchup would last the typical Plugger 3 months, tops. A month in the summer if they’re lucky, 2 meals if they include either orange-colored seafood scampi or salmon squares.

  139. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    AGNES: I know this is a snarkers’ site and not a site for praises, except for offhanded ones, but how many of you snarkers like or even love AGNES? I find it very enjoyable and funny, most of the time. Just thought I would mention this.

  140. Mustang
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    MW – I don’t know if I were at a wedding rehearsal dinner red wine and potato chip dance party and I saw a middle aged man in a salmon square colored suit with a pink fishtail patterned tie, I might just get a little grabby myself.

  141. terrapin
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#132):My hope is that some day the SPCA finds out what goes on at Lost Forest and liberates Andy.

  142. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    I love how the restaurant in Rex Morgan boasts both a Lunch menu and Pickles menu.

  143. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#141): we could also hope for Rusty getting run over by the Mystery Machine.

  144. Fashion Police
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Firesandfowl (#122) asked:

    What’s going to happen when Jill realizes that Adrian is wearing the same dress as she is?????

    We have theorized that given Charterstone’s essentially feudal social structure, on ceremonial occasions women are required to wear varying shades in the violet family according to their status. Mrs. Worth as the local priestess is of course exempt. As the bride-to-be, Miss Cory’s dress is the shade closest to the royal hue. We do wonder, though, whether Mr. Hewlett will appear in the orange suit of distinction, or whether custom decrees his relegation to the electric blue of the common folk. If so, Miss Black’s accusation that Miss Cory is marrying beneath herself will prove out, and her determination to stop the wedding at all costs in order to preserve the underlying social structure is more than justified.

  145. Mr. Goboto
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#142): Pickles must be the new cupcakes.

  146. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#139): It’s weird as hell, but I do enjoy it, particularily when it slips some audaciously dirty thing past whatever barely-attentive editor is responsible for it.

  147. Sarah
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    For your mildly related entertainment (a big ol’ NSFW, unless you have a boss w/a good sense of humor):

    Roof sex:
    http://www.eatpes.com/roofsex.html

  148. odinthor
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#139): Yes—count me in! I’m a long-time fan of Agnes and its characteristic bizarreries!

  149. dale
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#139):

    I like AGNES, but the drawing style makes it really painful to look at.
    Thinking about AGNES is reminding me of SYLVIA.

  150. honeypot
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    MW: Given the constantly changing hair color and wildly shifting ages of the men in this strip (and they ALL have a fashionable orange suit – ) I confess that I thought Jill was moving in on a horrified Scott. I forgot that Jeff already met her during the card-picking excursion. She’s got that evil plan to break up the lovebirds, after all….

    That she wants to break up Mary and Jeff, or maybe just break Jeff, is a little disconcerting because I don’t see how this fits in her plan.

  151. Walker of Dog
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Bryan (#137): I wondered about that lack of punctuation in Aunt May’s “EEEEEE”. Maybe she’s just tuning a piano or practicing for the next test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

  152. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#151): If anyone needs her piano tuned, it’s Tommie. But I’m not sure Aunt May’s the one for the job.

  153. Violet
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    And here I thought coveting Adrian’s beau was as sad as one could possibly get. Live and learn.

  154. Pseudo3D
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t been following this whole Adrian/Scott marriage too closely, but did I catch in Sunday’s Mary Worth that Jeff is Adrian’s father? So could Jill’s looseness lead to a situation in which Jill is Adrian’s stepmother?

  155. demoncat
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    curtis expression is one of great derick now has a new partner in pain and she a female version of him. Jill drunk behavior will not only get her dropped by Adrien but she will have to face the wrath of Mary for messing with her man. an aged cat fight brewing.

  156. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#139): I like it when it’s at its weirdest; it can get a bit repetitive at times, but then he’ll throw in something truly bizarre, and I’m happy again.

  157. Jamus The Bartender
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @MattF (#9): Boy, i’ll say she does….Mary, I think Jeff is gonna get loved long time….

  158. Anonymous
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#106): OMG, that’s the only thing that would make this even better – if Charley showed up and started hitting on Jill! But I fear it’s going to be more about Jill breaking Jeff’s kneecaps than Jill getting laid. The real question is, when is Mary going to start meddling Jill and find out what’s wrong with her? She’s had plenty of incentive already – maybe this, or the broken kneecaps, will spur her to action.
    @honeypot (#150): Actually Scott met her during the invitation-picking excursion, and I’m ashamed that I know that. Where is Scott, anyway? Maybe he can prevent the kneecapping.

  159. wossname
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    158 was me – I just installed Google Chrome and obviously my cookies don’t carry over.

  160. littlestevie
    November 30th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Goboto (#130): You know the Holiday Bowl Parade of Ballons is coming up, but since Les is so full of hot air, I can’t tell the difference between him and the ballons.
    @wossname (#159): Sigh, I know but it would just be more fun if Charley were there. I know Aldo can’t make it but mabe Helen can make a guest showing.

  161. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#154):
    Now there’s an idea! Are you listening, Ms. Moy? Or are you one step ahead of us?

    Actually, it all fits. Jeff’s seemingly gratuitous proposal of marriage to Mary and her refusal set the stage perfectly. When Mary confronts him in anger he can say to her, “you were the one who wanted things to stay the same between us. The only difference is that I’ll be getting what I never got from you!”

  162. carbunicle
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @MattF (#9): Only whores have cleavage in the Worthiverse.

  163. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#49): Well done!

  164. honeypot
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#158): (alias wossname)

    I realized I typed the wrong name as soon as I hit post. And I’m ashamed I know that, too.

    Wouldn’t it be lovely if Karen Moy actually took us somewhere unexpected? She’s posted here on CC before, she was cool. You can tell she’s made an effort since she took over, but the traditional Worthian constraints of the job and the fact that she can’t draw or color it herself must be wearying to her. But, anyway, Go Karen!

  165. MWDG
    November 30th, 2010 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: the part of Jill is now being played by Joan Van Ark of “Knots Landing” fame.
    I guess Jeff crusing the navy base in drag before the party and forgot to take off his Lee Press on nails (see hand panel two). Please note in the lower right corner of panel one…Barbie’s cousin Francie makes an appearance!

  166. Poteet
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#Y186): I just read about supertasters and think maybe I might be one. Thanks for the tip! The part about supertasters tending to be thinner than average doesn’t fit, though. Dang.

  167. Poteet
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    MW — I think we’re supposed to learn an Important Lesson from comparing the bride and her advisor. Yesterday we saw Saint Adrian, practically levitating in her pure selfless intense desire for the happiness of others. Today we have Sinner Jill, grabbing a poor defenseless cripple as she focuses only on satisfying her own drunken drives. And of course the lesson we’re learning is that Virtue is a total bore compared to the utter wonderfulness of Vice. WE WANT CHARLEY! WE WANT CHARLEY! WE WANT CHARLEY!

  168. Poteet
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @ComcisFan (#49): Oooh, nicely done!

  169. commodorejohn
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#167): Amen, sister! Every time Mary Worth tries to depict sickening depravity, it winds up in a sweet spot of pure awesome.

  170. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#167): Wait—are you suggesting that Jill, too, is a fan of art—of a sort?

  171. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    A new character in Curtis? Nay, I say. Veranda Post has the sneer and the stance down. This is “Onion” his own self, preoperative and on female hormones so that he and Derek can forge a new kind of bond. I realize that Ms Post, despite her surname, is shorter and thicker than we’ve gotten accustomed to with “Onion.” The latter I ascribe to the aforementioned hormones. As to the former, I’m assuming the young man previously had cigar boxes strapped to the soles of his shoes.

  172. ktrout
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    If my memory serves me well, Scott’s shooting wasn’t even as dramatic as the Lichtensteinian tableau that is Mary Worth’s second panel today.

  173. Ed Dravecky
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    If you’d seen me a year ago reading the comics and if I’d be happy reading a Luann strip where Toni Daytona suffered from cramps, I’d have edged farther away from on the train. Now I’d be the crazy guy asking the question. Thanks, Josh!

  174. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    MW panel 2: Dr. Jeff panics as he frantically searches his memory for his bitchin’ macarena moves.

  175. KarMann
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I just want to know about this Veranda, where will Derrick kiss her?

    @Baka Gaijin (#78): [Jeremy's] mother should really look into a 45th trimester abortion.
    Nitpick: Do you really think that Jeremy is 10½ years old? [*]

    @gnome de blog (#135): Re Family Circus: The fly in that ointment is that many of us who were around during the 60s don’t remember much about them.
    Tell me about it! Of course, then again, I was born only 20¾ hours before the end of the 60s; what’s your excuse?

    Add me to those who enjoy both Brenda Starr and Agnes unironically, and therefore largely snarklessly, so I don’t mention them often.

  176. gnome de blog
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#175):
    I turned 21 in Paris in 1968. For the rest, well, I was there. I have nothing else to say.

  177. Ed Dravecky
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#173): “and asked me if I’d be happy”, dang it.

  178. EasyEW
    November 30th, 2010 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Is it just me, or does Jill look exactly like Maria Bamford in panel 1?

  179. els
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    I don’t know which is freaking me out more: Jeff’s crazy eyes, Jill’s Boone’s Farm-induced crazier eyes, Jill’s Joker-like grin, or the fact that Jeff’s hand looks like it’s in the perfect position to be resting on Jill’s protruding behind. I just can’t decide; it’s like having to choose between my Arkham-committed children.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#166): Better to be a “supertaster” than a “supertanker”! (The latter is what I thought This Guy said when I read his original comment!)

  181. Poteet
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#176): How awesome.

  182. Baka Gaijin
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#175): The way Jeremy acts, he’s more of a 5 year old.

  183. Poteet
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#180): True dat. Unfortunately, milk chocolate, if not sufficiently resisted, can send one toward supertanker status. *sniff*

  184. Sgt. Stoned
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    MW: Jill rocks! Go for it, Dr. Jeff! Mary shot you down? Screw her! Get it on with the young, wild stuff. That’ll show her!

  185. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 1st, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Is anyone else a fan of best-selling novelist Tim Dorsey and his character Serge Storms? This evening Mrs. Stoneaxe and I went to a talk Dorsey gave at the Seminole Heights Public Library in Tampa. We both enjoyed hearing how he came to write a series (12 and counting) about a lovable serial killer — think Dexter with a generous dollop of humor!

    Best of all: Mrs. Stoneaxe bought me Dorsey’s latest book for an early Christmas present. She also had him inscribe it to me. The book was privately printed (“not available in any store”) by the author and showcases Serge’s travels around the Sunshine State!

  186. Brimstone
    December 1st, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    ever see Southland Tales? it has two cars having sex

  187. Toronto
    December 1st, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts: (#139):
    I’m a big Agnes fan, here. Also Cul de Sac. I’m mostly not reading for the art. (Though Frazz has both art and writing, as does Mark Trail in an odd, sad way.)

  188. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 1st, 2010 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Phantom — It’s Savarna… in the flesh!

    Family Circus — Is “dirt” code for “feces”?

    Beetle Bailey — I beg to differ… a trim is still a haircut!

  189. Snapshot
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    It’s been a while since I’ve regularly read Curtis-is it still 1988? Cause Derrick’s Kid ‘n’ Play haircut confuses me. Also, did anyone notice the tongue-hanging-out salivating laugh is reminiscent of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith? Is Loweezy moonlighting?

  190. Jason1981
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    Luann: Well, at least she didn’t use the “headache” excuse. Wait, that’s only to get out of having sex, right ? That means she’ll never use that excuse, since Brad will never be allowed to have sex

    S-M: ” I will eat them underground! I will eat them with weird dudes around! I do like them, Mole-Man-I-Am.. I do like green eggs and ham!”

  191. Regiosco
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – As a guy who spent a greater part of his loutish life getting drinks flung into his face for the greivous crime of asking ladies to dance, I immediately despise this mommas boy for his shocked demeanor. What’s Poindexter’s milksop reaction going to be when a totally blitzed Jill tries to teach him the Reacharound Waltz? Dammit Already.

  192. Sequitur
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    I have no idea what the hell is going on.

  193. Poteet
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#192): You’ve more or less appropriated my official life motto.

  194. Farley's Revenge
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary sees Jill making the move on Her(Mary’s) Man. Her eyes narrow. Her nostrils flare. She asks, to no one in particular because everyone in the room knows to avoid her like the plague she is, “Is Mary gonna have to choke a bitch?”

    If the bitch in question is Jeff, I say go for it, Mare.

  195. Poteet
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    12/1

    FC — Good God, Jeffy. I’ve never seen a kid so much in need of a personal trainer.

    MW — I’ve been at a couple of wedding rehearsal dinners, and all we did was eat dinner. This one is more like a practice reception. I hope Jill plans to drink a whole lot more when the real thing arrives.

    PHANTOM — So how is old Stripey Butt supposed to avoid getting blown up himself — jungle intuition?

  196. Regiosco
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    As well as my brother-in-law’s mantra to vice cops.

  197. Regiosco
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    As well as my brother-in-law’s mantra to vice cops

  198. Regiosco
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    dang ho’wd that happen?

  199. Poteet
    December 1st, 2010 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    12/1 JP — This is as dirty as JP will ever get. Enjoy.

  200. Uncle Lumpy
    December 1st, 2010 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Woo, hoo — hot, steamy action in Tuesday’s Mark Trail. I didn’t know that shirt even came off.

  201. ElkMeadow
    December 1st, 2010 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#200):

    I can’t tell, is that Cherry or the old chick that was in the slip?

    Whoever called it it looks like Toni’s going to need to lie down on the bed to get rid of that cramp. Eyeball/brain bleach alert:Matching camel toes.

    Hey, Mayor, a board member has a position of prestige in the community. Being a volunteer is being a subordinate on the bottom of the power pole. Anyone can be a volunteer, though in the courts, it’s referred to as “sentenced to community service.” Even the custodian has more authority to make decisions than a volunteer. Isabelle does not share power. Prostate cancer will soon be the least of your problems.

    I was expecting more at Mary Worth. Not even the woman turning her head 180 deserves a second look. And why isn’t anyone sitting at the table and eating if it’s a rehearsal dinner, instead of standing around snacking and drinking? Why is there a band or dance music. By the way, I’m still bummed that there wasn’t any shower for Jill to majorly snipe at, or for us to snark at (“fancy that! fancy underwear!”) especially when it came time to dress the bride to be in a toilet paper gown.

  202. ElkMeadow
    December 1st, 2010 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (#190):

    I think that the dudes look healthier and less scary than Aunt May, but then, I first saw them illustrated in the book, “The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet.”

  203. AceofPlaces
    December 1st, 2010 at 3:37 am [Reply]

    “The name’s Jill… and I want to dance!” is not something I’d expect a serial killer to say just before claiming a victim, but judging from that face, Jill is out to prove me wrong.

  204. Charlene
    December 1st, 2010 at 3:44 am [Reply]

    The LA Times is reporting that John D’Agostino Sr., who drew Archie among others, has died at the age of 81.

  205. dale
    December 1st, 2010 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    If Mark were meeting with the guide to do some planning, he’d go to the office/lounge where they have maps and beer.
    If Mark were about to go fishing, he wouldn’t bother with a shower first.
    If Mark Trail weren’t a moron, he’d lock his door.
    This shower business must be a clever plot device.

  206. KarMann
    December 1st, 2010 at 5:55 am [Reply]

    12/1 Pluggers: So much for that “straight talk” from Sunday.

  207. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 1st, 2010 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    JP: “Yup, she can really handle a gun. He loves the way she holds the barrel. And when she pulls the trigger? Hoo boy! . . . . I have no idea what I’m talking about, do I?”

    FC: “Plus, I can hide my penguin-flipper hands in its copious folds!”

    MT: You all were expecting a thrilling tale of diamond-smuggling intrigue, weren’t you—complete with skulking and danger and punching? Aren’t you surprised that we’re about to get wacky bedroom farce—complete with skulking and danger and punching, but with more steam?

    MW: Is the background blond possessed by head-spinning demons, or are she and her partner just getting their freak-dance on?

    A3G: Well, you buy him a piano, of course!

  208. Zaratustra
    December 1st, 2010 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Didn’t Beetle Bailey introduce a new named character too? Are they allowed to do that twice in a year?

  209. gleeb
    December 1st, 2010 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    A 3-G: Whoa, not a good thing to ask a nurse. Margo, on the other hand, probably has some insights.

    Edge City: I have a feeling the nickle story won’t hold a candle to a Curtis Kwanzaa tale.

  210. tb4999
    December 1st, 2010 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Luann: Yes sir, Bradley, that sure is kind of fun. You know, normally in that type of position, the penis goes into the vagina, yeah. But that type of thing is icky to you, I know. I’m sorry I even brought it up.

  211. CanuckDownSouth
    December 1st, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    The dissonance between A3G‘s “you look great” dialogue and the visuals is one of the funniest things in the comics.

    Aaah! We’re in for a long ride in the Uncanny Valley on the FW book tour. I’m assuming those are real people, and I’d really rather not know who.

    I’ve been to rehearsal dinners that involved more than just dinner … opening some out-of-towners’ gifts once, and hanging out over copious drinks another time. Never a full-out reception rehearsal. I’d guess Adrian has so few friends, or even human interactions, to be sure quite what one does at a wedding reception, so she’s decided to do a run-through.

    A volunteer position as an adequate substitute for being on the museum board? And the guy was trying to become mayor just to fix this, but didn’t know he couldn’t? I knew RMMD didn’t live in the real world, but this is ridiculous.

  212. Shawn S.
    December 1st, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Toni, you don’t get a Charlie Horse from cutting off the blood flow to your leg.
    Brad, if she did have a Charlie Horse, the last thing you’d want to try and do is walk it off.

    The only logical explanation for all this is Toni is using one of her many lines to get out of sex with dumb Brad.

    #1: _______ Dirk ________.
    #2: I have a _______ and it hurts right now.
    #3: This is going too fast, we have to slow down.

    Brad is losing his patience with #3, and #1 has been played for weeks straight, so she jumped to ol’ reliable #2. And Brad is having fun! Oh Brad, so dumb.

  213. smacky
    December 1st, 2010 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    MW: While the crowd is shocked by the antics of drunk Jill, the guy in the background of the second panel goes for it and cups his date’s right breast.

  214. Mr. Goboto
    December 1st, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#160): Caedite eos! Novit enim Curmudgeum qui sunt eius.

  215. wossname
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Stylish and remorseful” is genuinely funny. But why does Iris keep saying the guy was practically killed, when he rode off without a scratch? I guess the car almost hit him, and that somehow it was Iris’ fault because she was wandering about cluelessly. The original drawing of the non-accident didn’t really make that clear.

    Curtis – So why exactly does Veranda have an icepack on her head?

    DT – Oh ha ha ha, you slay me, Locher! I can’t wait for the decoy cars to start switching around and for everybody (especially us) to get all confused and for various ridiculously named characters to spout exposition which conflicts with the other guys’ exposition.

    MT – Oh this is going to be great! Mark steps out of the shower all nekkid and dripping… Dingo, maybe you need to take over from here.

    MW – So much to enjoy here! The lady on the right is so horrified that her face has acquired marionette lines and her head is spinning around a la Exorcist. At least, I guess that’s her back we’re looking at. If it’s her front, her dancing partner is groping her and she has a major erection.

    Pluggers – Didn’t somebody here refer just yesterday to this kind of directions? How does it feel to be channeling Pluggers?

  216. wossname
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#176): I turned 21 in 1967 (the Summer of Love baybeee!) in New York’s East Village. And I remember about the same amount you do.

  217. dreadedcandiru2
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Lynn’s latest News Bite has her promote the work of another horrible artist: “Luann” by Greg Evans.

    My friend Greg Evans who does the syndicated strip "Luanne" has just released his 25th Anniversary book and it’s well worth ordering! Greg is one of my good friends and colleagues.

    His venture into the life of a teenage girl is amazingly accurate, his humour is both kind and bittersweet and he’s delightfully funny. Greg is not afraid to attack some serious subjects…and all of these comments have been applied to my work as well. We are similar in the way we have handled life, love and coming of age. It’s with pleasure that I recommend his 25th anniversary book.

    Besides, he gave me a copy for free!

    First off, it’s spelled Luann. Second, his venture into the life of a teenaged girl is only accurate if said girl is a backstabbing idiot bitch on heels. Third, Evans has the phrase “Stooooooooopid, Useless And” appended to his name for a reason.

  218. Spunde
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    FW: “And now on ‘Good Morning, San Diego,’ an Ohio man whose wife died of cancer more than a decade ago is here to tell us how that experience has made him stronger

    the lessons her death has taught him

    what he’s made of his life since that painful time

    “all about his wife’s death.”

  219. Ned Ryerson
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @dreadedcandiru2 (#217): “Luanne” is the Canadian spelling?

  220. Écureuil Écumant
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FC: “I like these pants. They’re the same color as my…”

    Yeah, Jeffy. We’re having spinach tonight, so I’ll lay out your green ones for tomorrow.

  221. TheDiva
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Do they still make light strings with this design flaw? I haven’t had that problem in years. (Of course these could be very old lights, or the rules of the Funkyverse are once again dictating that everything possible comes with a maximum of misery and hardship.)

    DT: I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong, no sir…

    FW: “Ha ha ha! No seriously, we’re eloping to Massachusetts after this interview.”

    Luann: Well, it IS the closest to sex you’ve been so far, Toni…

    MW: The hussy! Look at Jill actually trying to enjoy herself at Adrian’s stiflingly dull rehearsal reception, one stand of hair shockingly out of place. No wonder the guests are so disgusted.

    SM: “My chef, Mary Worth, makes the best unidentified strangely-colored mush in the world!”

  222. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 1st, 2010 at 11:01 am [Reply]

  223. Écureuil Écumant
    December 1st, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @201 ElkMeadow said re Luann:

    Eyeball/brain bleach alert: Matching camel toes.

    In Luann’s case, fore-and-aft camel toes. That’s a new one.

  224. ElkMeadow
    December 1st, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Charlene (#204):

    The LA Times is reporting that John D’Agostino Sr., who drew Archie among others, has died at the age of 81.

    I give my kids copies of the Archie’s Comic Digests (which contain reprints) for stocking stuffers. Last year, one of digests had a story section where the characters gave a “this is your life “salute to Mr. D’Agostino, Sr. I am sorry for his family’s loss and grateful for the works he created in his career fields.

  225. True Fable
    December 1st, 2010 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Now Mark Trail is becoming the Mark Trail I envisioned in Mark Trail Theater. It’s about damn time, even wildlife writers want to get some ass.

  226. iggyks
    December 1st, 2010 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    Curtis – The sad thing is that the name Veranda Post is supposed to be funny, or at least would have been 50 years ago. The sadder thing is I’m old enough to get the reference.

  227. Busker Jim
    December 4th, 2010 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    Re: Apartment 3-G, 12/2/10; That’s not a beret, it’s called a “flat cap”, stereotypically worn in comic strips by both cabbies and newsboys (I wore one back in the ’90s, when it was *not* fashionable. Now that many of the more “hip” kids are wearing them, I’ve moved on to other head wear).

    Also, I believe that the cab driver is not a man, but a very, um, sturdy woman. Her breasts are below the panel frame. Perhaps far below. It would certainly explain why “he” wasn’t shocked at the notion of a woman giving flowers to a man.

  228. penis enlargement
    February 2nd, 2011 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Keep writing :) It’s interesting

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