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Metapost: First 2011 comments of the week!

Hello, everyone! Your comments of the week have arrived! Apologies, I only started keeping track of comments again when I returned from my trip — the depths of your epic mega-post are still unexplored. Also, cartoonists who may have missed it the first time around should check out my advertising special, for cartoonists! Half price ads for your pretty pictures!

Anyway, behold, your comment of the week!

“No, Trey Brooks! Don’t take off your scarf! That’s the only way we can tell which one you are!” –Spunde

And your very funny runners up!

“I love the look on Lu Ann’s face in the background of the second panel. Margo may be revving up to inflict a beating, but Lu Ann is all like, ‘Yay! Balloons!’” –Patrick

“‘No fouls called, everything goes!’ is exactly how I’d expect a Funky Winkerbean slashfic between Summer and Keisha to begin, with Ghost Lisa guiding her daughter’s hands as she checks her soulmate’s breasts for cancerous lumps. ‘Bring it!’, indeed.” –Ed Dravecky

“Jill is bringing an envelope with a hand-drawn card that she made in the form of a coupon stating that matrimony is just swell, and she, Jill, will marry one (1) eligible male of the bearer’s choice.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“Do you think the art directions in Judge Parker include things like ‘partially frame the scene with the jutting breasts of an attractive blonde in sunglasses’ or does that just happen naturally whenever the dialogue is dull law stuff?” –Aviatrix

“And just a heads-up, H & J, if you tell someone you were caught getting out of the shower, it’s pretty much assumed you were naked; you don’t have to keep saying it. Why the hell did you have to choose now to start getting all specific?” –Violet

“The can says ‘SPAM’ but we all know it’s the last two cans of the earthly remains of Barney Google. Bon appétit!” –zerowolf

“Mary can barely even conceal her derisive laughter behind her hors d’oeuvres as she watches this so-called ‘parental involvement’ unfold. ‘He’s your son, and he asked for your input,’ she thinks. ‘This is barely even meddling at all! Fucking amateur.’ –Doctor Handsome

That kid’s not gay. He’s obviously just a blackjack dealer.” –Ethan Shuster

“OK, so I have no idea what possesses Spider-Man to say ‘Holy Hannah!’. But whatever you do, don’t turn to Google to try to make sense of it: that way lies madness, or at least a vague feeling of disappointment in that you should probably be making better use of your time.” –Jester

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314 responses to “Metapost: First 2011 comments of the week!”

  1. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Ed Dravecky, worthy float-rider, as predicted. *applaz*

  2. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    and *applaz* to everyone else on the float as well!

  3. Poteet
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    All hail Spunde, this week’s winner! I might be partly to blame for the yellow-thingie removal, since I promised my soul to Satan if he would please make it happen. But all hail, I say again! And congratulations to the rest of you few, you happy few, you band of float riders! Be sure to toss, etc.

  4. Hank
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    So, in Curtis, the last man on earth, who just happens to look like a cartoon Will Smith, loses his only companion (a dog) at the hands of a monster, shortly before the story [presumably] wraps up. This is so not anything like “I am Legend.”

  5. Sequitur
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Spunde and the floaters (sounds like a 50′s doo-wop group)!

    And queek! Have you seen the rescued baby bats in blanket with bottles?

  6. Pseudo3D
    January 7th, 2011 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    I look forward to Saturday’s comic on Curtis: I’m hoping that it will involve the protagonist walking alone in a doomed world, and ending that way.

    Curtis will be in tears.

    It will be the best Curtis comic strip ever.

  7. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 7th, 2011 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#5): d’awwwwwwww. bats :[ will be pleased to see those as well.

  8. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Kudos to the first float-riders of 2011. Violet, y’all just cracked me up.

  9. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#5): That is a criminally sweet picture.

  10. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, all!

  11. Joe Blevins
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

  12. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    y@bats :[ (#179): I take it you mean Sis?

  13. Poteet
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    Josh, are you actually still planning to explore the depths of our epic mega-post? Better take plenty of water and a good map.

  14. Poteet
    January 7th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — I see Max is safely home again. Another hope dashed. *sigh*

  15. Sequitur
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#13): Did anyone fix the liquor cabinet? Remember, it blew up.

  16. Poteet
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#15): *cough* That had nothing to do with us Mudges, remember? Nothing!

  17. Sequitur
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#16): Nothing? Uncle Lumpy and I ended up in cartoon heaven after the blast. They sent us back. We weren’t “cartoony” enough.

    However, Uncle Lumpy and Saint Peter did trade some good snark.

  18. Uncle Lumpy
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#16):

    This was no boating accident! (Hic!)

  19. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    Woo! On the float again. What’s that? Oh.

    Well, okay, I guess. It’s still an honor to be on the float, even if I’m just here to serve soft drinks to everybody else on the float.

    (While I’m up here I’ll try to find out how to pronounce ‘Spunde.’)

  20. Sequitur
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#18):And it wasn’t any propeller; and it wasn’t any coral reef; and it wasn’t Jack the Ripper! (Hic, hic!)

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#20): this is not my beautiful wife . . .

    let the water hold me down . . .

  22. Sequitur
    January 7th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    It was A SHARK!

  23. Sequitur
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    You know, A SHARK!
    No,
    No,
    No!

    A SHARK!!

    Yeah.

  24. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Friday Leftovers:

    Dick Tracy — By saying “Drat”, Dick is attempting to summon the DRATINI, a serpentine Pokémon known to inhabit lakes and rivers. I never would have figured either of the Dicks (Locher or Tracy) for a Pokémon fan!

    And lest I forget… congrats to Spunde for his/her COTW!

  25. Sequitur
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    JOSH! UNCLE LUMPY!

    SPAM AT 25!

  26. Black Drazon
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    I just knew Spunde’s comment was destined for greatness! Congrats!

    Zits: After two days of Jeremy staring at her mother’s breasts, today we find that he has taken the safest possible recourse by ogling Hector’s instead.

  27. dale
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    There is a message about Dingo that looks real, but I don’t have the slightest idea of how to check the contact addresses for legitimacy.

    #242 Joyce on the Meta – Calling All Cartoonists thread of 1/3.

  28. boojum
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @dale (#28): That message certainly does look legit, and the second email address even seems familiar. If so, Dingo will apparently be having brain surgery on Monday. I’m sure he’d like to hear from as many of us as possible. You who have prayers, send ‘em up.

  29. Uncle Lumpy
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#26):

    Spam: BLAM!

  30. Uncle Lumpy
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#28):

    That address has been associated with several of Dingo’s posts since this one in mid-2009, and seems legitimate. Here’s the mailto address.

  31. dreadedcandiru2
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#28): I hope it goes well for him.

  32. dreadedcandiru2
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    ReFoob: Today’s strip reminds us that John tends to regard women as being there for his convenience. It’s bookended by tomorrow’s exercise in hateful misogyny in which he whines about how unfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair it is that women even have opinions. He. Must. DIE!!!

  33. Sequitur
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy did a great job of deleting the spam @25 but now that makes me yelling spam on myself.

    Danged gnomes.

  34. Walker of Dog
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to all the float riders. Also, I’m confused – which one is Trey again?

    1/8 strips:

    RMMD: June’s thematic outfit (yellow star on blue background) and her jaunty roof-raising tell us that she is celebrating the 25th anniversary of Spain’s accession to the European Union. Come on, everybody – the tapas are on Berna!

    S-M: Peter mistakenly believes that he and Mary Jane are in the same conversation. Actually, the real action is happening below the panel window, where Ben Grimm is getting an alarming erection made of granite.

    MT: And the hamster wheel in Mark’s head slowly squeaks to life.

    JP: A tire sale? A legal settlement? And someone won a seat?! I want to know more – hold the paper up closer! Hey, 3C, I’m talking to you!

    GT: Mimi definitely looks sexier since she got rid of her pupils.
    (Note: this is not a teacher-based pun.)

    A3G: Margo starts reeling in her latest catch. After a little time with the sander, the orbital bone from Trey’s eye socket will make a nice addition to her Necklace of the Damned.
    (She also has a matching piercing. Don’t ask.)

  35. Walker of Dog
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    Jumb: Who can forget that classic diner scene? Certainly not the put-upon friend, who is desperate to silence her dining companion. Remembering her When Harry Met Sally, to shorten the long story, her friend |F|A|K|E|D| |O|R|G|A|S|M|.

    I’ll have what she’s having.

  36. ElkMeadow
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    Hey, did anyone know that Berna won the lottery at Rex Morgan, M.D. Really! She’s spent the whole week in his office, talking about it. And probably she’ll do the same next week. **eyes glaze over**

  37. ElkMeadow
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    I like how, even when Aunt May is being grabbed by some odd giant creature, Aunt May primly keeps her knees and ankles together. Looks like the wedding’s going to be off. Rats. I thought that having the Crypt Keeper Aunt May living with a former(?) villian as queen of another place, who would send diamonds up to the surface from time to time to keep her couch hogging nephew off of her case would be a nice story line. Maybe she and Queen Aleta –or even Prudence –could be BFF or something.

  38. Aviatrix
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    High fives to my fellow float riders! This has been a good week for me and boobs, is all I’m saying.

  39. Aviatrix
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:29 am [Reply]

    JP Oh no! See the square windows on the airplane? They’re in a de Havilland Comet and those windows create too much stress in a pressurized airframe. The plane is going to disintegrate in flight, and no one on board has a dead wife to warn them.

  40. Aviatrix
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    MT: It’s hollow. Smith gave it to her, after unhooking it from its hiding place on the channel marker and removing the diamonds within. Someone pretend I’m a genius for figuring this out. At least tell me I’m smarter than Mark.

  41. Aviatrix
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    MW: Savour this, the last moment during which we can pretend it’s a virulent biowarfare agent.

  42. Mordock999
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 01/08/2011

    Luann – “Oh Hiiiiiiii, Quill! (FAWN) Oh, I wasn’t doing anything, just talking to Bernice. (GUSH) Oh, we weren’t talking about anything much, just about how YOU and I kissed (GIGGLE) and how I FELT the Earth move, and How My toes curled and I got all hot and bothered, and how I suddenly realised that YOU are the right guy for Me merely because You are so cuddly-cute, so I had My Mom send out wedding invitations, and I’ve picked up a beautiful expensive wedding dress, and hired a photographer to take wedding pictures of us, and got My dad to talk to his Boss about giving you a job and…., Hello? Hello? HELLO??!!???”

    _______________
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  43. Ed Dravecky
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#1): Thank you, and a hearty congratulations to Spunde!

  44. Carl Barks Fan
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    MT: Yeah, it’s pretty obvious that they are smuggling diamonds in hollow lures, but I cant think of a stupider way to do it than this. However, it is Mark Trail we are “discussing” here, which has the dramatic and literary subtly of a Spin and Marty episode — or less.

    More information on Spin and Marty may be found on the internet.

    I think, I haven’t checked.

    How much does a lure weigh, anyway? These things are made of plastic, or wood — one ounce?

    I think this strip is the most entertaining piece of crap in the comics universe. We should be thankful for its crappiness and all the happiness sit brings us, day after day, week after week.

    Meanwhile Mark still hasn’t explained to his wife what Kelly is doing here on his little excursion.

    As we used to say in The Bronx, What Shit.

  45. terrapin
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MT: “Hmmmmm. It’s lighter than it should be for it’s size…I wonder. COULD IT BE HOLLOW AND THAT’S HOW THE DIAMONDS ARE BEING SMUGGLED!?! What? Oh nothing Matt, just talking to my lure.”

  46. GidgetN
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    A3G: I was concerned that it still seems to be 2010 in Apartment 3-G, but now I’m far more concerned that Margo seems to be wearing a metal chain around her neck. Or, wait maybe that’s normal for Margo.

  47. Carl Barks Fan
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    LUANN: Maybe somebody can explain to me why Bernice has nothing better to do in her life than hang around with her shallow-personality friend. Unless her personality is just as shallow. If it were me, I’d hang around with Delta. Or Gunther. Or even little Muggins,, or whatever that little guy’s name is.

    Speaking of Muggins, he could certainly get more “action” from Bernice than from Luann. Relatively speaking.

    Under that sour exterior is a hot, bubbling young woman.

    Right?

  48. Carl Barks Fan
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @GidgetN (#46): A3G: That’s SYMBOLISM, see, that chain is a SYMBOL of her pent-up womanhood and sexual nature, see? This strip is more subtle than you think, these things are carefully thought out before they are drawn, don’t we all realize that? Under her sour exterior is a hot, bubbling woman, full of pent-up sexuality. It’s chained in, see?

    How subtle can you get?

    Actually, the symbolism in this strip is about as subtle as the symbolism in Henry. Or Little Iodine.

    Anybody out there remember Little Iodine? Now there was a sophisticated strip, full of subtle symbolism and meaning.

  49. Carl Barks Fan
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MT: Under Kelly’s genial outgoing nature is a hot, bubbling woman, full of pent-up sexual nature. You can see it in her eyes.

  50. Carl Barks Fan
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Come to think of it, so many of the strips we discuss here are full of so much pent-up bubbling sexual nature that I am going to open a window to let the steam out.

  51. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois — I thought this sort of thing only happened in Hootin’ Holler!

    Tundra — Admittedly I’m no expert on squid, but are they supposed to look like they’re wearing condoms on their heads?

  52. terrapin
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#50):Sounds like somebody needs a cold shower. Don’t forget to lock the door!

  53. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#44): “How much does a lure weigh, anyway? These things are made of plastic, or wood — one ounce?” They’re usually very light. It would be odd if the lure were heavy, as if it were full of something more dense than styrofoam, something like, something like, I don’t know, diamonds.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#51): “Admittedly I’m no expert on squid, but are they supposed to look like they’re wearing condoms on their heads?” Yes.

  54. dreadedcandiru2
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s funnies today:

    FW: Tomorrow’s strip shows us that Les is acting like a total dick to airport employees; in the real world, the TSA would do a public cavity search but since this is the Batiukverse, all they do is frown impotently at Crankshaft the Lesser.

    CShaft Speaking of Cranky, tomorrow’s strip is another yummy helping of word salad as he confuses “Ipenema” with “Iwo Jima”.

    S 4th: Hilary is so out of it, she doesn’t know what a snowball fight is! LOL!!!

    ReFoob: As I said upthread, John wants women who have opinions to fall off the planet.

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#30):

    I’m putting my funny on hold temporarily to talk about Dingo’s impending brain surgery. I’m an optimistic person by nature, and Dingo is nothing if not a fighter. So there’s every reason to believe that he’ll be up and posting here again in no time. In addition to the address Uncle Lumpy posted, get well messages can also be sent to Dingo at:

    falsehurrah@comcast.net

  56. Scott Bot
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Oh, my God! Dick’s hat blew off! That’s the most exciting thing to happen in this strip since this story arc started back in November. It’s turning points like this that keep me on the edge of my seat every morning, waiting to read the spine tingling action adventure strip that is Dick Tracy.

    You don’t get this sort of dramatic tension with Nancy, let me tell ya…

  57. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Yeah, falsehurrah@comcast.net is the email addy I have for Dingo.

  58. Sequitur
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

  59. The Modesto Kid
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    But whatever you do, don’t turn to Google to try to make sense of it

    Wha? This is exactly what you should do — you will discover that Stan Lee has been whoring his name out for product placements.

  60. Sequitur
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#59): Mmmmm. Pepper sauce.

    Connecticut? pepper sauce?

  61. Miss Othmar
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#28): Sending good wishes to Dingo!!

  62. Hibbleton
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    BB: looks like Mrs. Halftrack’s boob job has gone horribly wrong.

    R=R: Even the vermin in Rose’s sanitarium room are insane.

  63. zerowolf
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is “Meddling Margo” a new extreme sport? If so, I’d take up something safer like sky diving without a parachute.

  64. Mibbitmaker
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    9CL: Keep going, Edda! You’re really summarizing Seth these days — and yourself — and Brooke.

    DT: Uh-oh, the strip’s on auto-repeat again!

    ReFOOB: Oh, damn, Lynn’s projecting again. Bad Rod! BAD ROD!

    Garfield: “ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!!!!”

  65. John C Fremont
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @GidgetN (#46): So that’s what Dr. Mordred looks like under that pesky mask.

  66. Mibbitmaker
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    FW: Off-panel, please!! WAAAY off-panel!!!!!

    GF: I can still say “Mibbit”, right, Rob?

    HotC: Oh, sure, it’s really cute until Frosty, here, pulls a knife on you!

    H&L: “Next time on Arrested Development…..”

    JP: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can it, old man!

    Other Coast: …..of Ulm.

  67. zerowolf
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    FC: You are allowed only 73 books* period, young man. They start at Genesis and end at Revelations.

    *Internal evidence would indicate the Keane Kompound sedevacanist rather than hyper-Calvinist in theology, hence the 73 books of the Roman Catholic canon rather than the 66 of the Protestant.

  68. John C Fremont
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#44): It turns out more information on Spin and Marty really can be found on the internet. Much more information than I ever needed to know.

    Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!

  69. zerowolf
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    FC: You are allowed only 73 books period, young man. They start at Genesis and end at Revelations.

  70. zerowolf
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Run it’s Mary Worth. Not even the grave can keep her from sensing the right meddle moment.

  71. Jim North
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Hey, congrats to the CotW winner and all the float peoples!

    Curtis: The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door . . .

    DT: Holy crap! Are those arm proportional to the rest of the human body in panel one?! That artist is fired!

    FW: GET IT?! IT’S LIKE SUMMER IS THE PARENT AND LES IS THE CHILD! THIS WOULD BE TOTALLY HILARIOUS IF IT WEREN’T A 100% ACCURATE SUMMATION OF THE ACTUAL SITUATION! HA HA HA!!!

    GT: Gil = :3

    Jumble: “What her friend did to shorten the long story”: MUDERIZED . . . dammit! One letter short! Scrabble is hard.

    Marvin: “WRONG! They’re tire tracks. Ha! Showed you!”

    Blondie: So first off, we’ve got a strip in which Dagwood’s neighbor and mailman – who are notorious for their looking-alike-ness-tude-ism – both appear, but naturally we don’t get to see Mr. Mailguy’s face. I would say that this is great evidence for them actually being one and the same, with Mr. Mailbuddy walking off-panel and changing into his Mr. Neighborfellah outfit just to screw with Dag’s head, but in the final panel we see Dag holding a cable bill in a huge manila envelope. This is almost certainly only so it would be the same general shape as the magazine it was mistaken for. Thus it is evident that reality in the world of Blondie is starting to become completely unbound, cause and effect will eventually have no working relationship whatsoever with each other, and consequently bibble bibble bibble bibble bibble.

  72. Mibbitmaker
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Jeez, Adrian, hold a grudge, why don’t you!

    R&R: Margo (from inside): “Lift your leg at me, whiz boy, and you’ll be toast at the doggy cemetery faster than you can say “brengir”! GET me, Fido?!”

    S-M: Get in line, greeny — everymonster is marrying Aunt May this time of year.

  73. wossname
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Spunde and all the funny folks on the float!

    DT – I just noticed – there seems to be a storm going on. Quite a serious one. Was anyone aware of this?

    JP – Actually, Randy, you are a nuisance. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.

    MT – Ooh, ooh, can I write Monday’s strip?
    Mark: Kelly, this lure is big but light. Why, it is hollow! Where did you get it?
    Kelly: Tee hee, I borrowed it from Mr. Ben Smith’s tackle box, Mark!
    Giant pelican overhead: Let us open it and see what is inside, Kelly!
    (panel 3 – Mark and Kelly look astonished at the contents of the “lure”)

    (I’m not surprised that everybody else is on the same page – the only question now is whether the diamonds are in the lure, were in the lure but have been taken out, or will be in the lure.

  74. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Lio: o noes! Interesting arc, this has been.

    9CL: at least a character is being bludgeoned with a thesaurus, instead of only the audience.

    Bizarro: /facepalm

    Jumpstart: there’s a sl ap for that.

    F-: laughs two days in a row. That’s a months worth by the usual F- math.

    GF: panel 1: you and us both, Rob.

    HotC: d’awwwwwwwwww.

    PBS: heeeee!

    Pluggers: can’t draw squirrels.

    R&R: *blinks* of all the strips to do a “snow-take” on, I never would have expected this! Josh, you need to take a look at this week’s Red&Rover, especially today’s and Tuesdays.

    RMMD: paging Fashion Police, panel 3.

    RwO: punny, and funny!

    6Cx: misses the point of make-up sex.

    SB: that’s Bernie from Doonesbury, isn’t it?

    TanK: I laughed. please shoot me.

    Zits: does a meta.

    Luann: Airhead Powers, ACTIVATE!

    SF: use that confidence, and those tiny hands, Ted, get her year off to a good start. iykwim, aittyd.

  75. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#58): Well if you’re going for the literal interpretation of her question…

    @Miss Othmar (#61): Ditto.

    @Hibbleton (#62): I can’t unsee that now. Thanks Hibbleton!

    @zerowolf (#70): See, I would have made that same comment for Spiderman.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#74): “Luann: Airhead Powers, ACTIVATE!” Form of…Giggling Ninny!

  76. Ethan Shuster
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Yeah! I finally made the list. Now I never have to come back to this site again!

  77. TheDiva
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL: You forgot snobbish, hypocritical, and just plain nosy.

    DT: Maybe if you tried contacting him on a phone instead of a chocolate bar, you’d have better luck.

    FW: Summer wisely washes her hands of the train wreck that is her father’s love life.

    reFOOB: All Men (Especially My Husband) Are Pigs, Part 3,510,639.

    GT: I don’t know what to make of this. On the one hand, Lini is being set up as a limp-wristed intellectual type (no doubt encouraged by his elitist art-mongering family) who doesn’t enjoy sports like every red-blooded American boy should. On the other, he’s actively avoiding situations where he’s surrounded by sweaty, half-naked men, so there’s at least one stereotype they’ve bucked.

    MT: Cripes, Dick Tracy would think this “mystery” is too obviously telegraphed.

    MW: I’ve long given up hope that Jill’s gift is anything but honeymoon tickets, but that doesn’t mean I can’t envision the destination. What do you think–Afghanistan? North Korea? Sudan?

    Pluggers: The only thing worth stealing on a Plugger property is birdseed.

    SM: Mole Man should have warned them about his crazy ex-girlfriend.

  78. Calico
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#30):
    Joyce and UL, I received this info via Pacebook (!) this AM thanks to a certain goat-appreciating online friend and classic ‘mudge. I did forward Dingo’s info to another ‘mudge who, interestingly enough, I’ve known for close to 20 years (I’ve been friends with his wife since the late 80′s as well. Interesting and rather cool.)
    Let’s get some funny e-mails and well wishes to Dingo, stat!

  79. Calico
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Our favorite Babe Winkelman fan has two e-mails:
    falsehurrah@comcast.net or dingogotmybaby@comcast.net

  80. gleeb
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Jump Start: Yeah, they’re a cop’s kids, all right.

    Blondie: People complain about “zombie” strips, but I like the “Bratwurst Gazette”.

    Alan and Sam Aloft!: If you’ve been putting it ff, there’s a tire sale in Judge Parker!

    Phantom: Horror in Mawitaan! There’s no way those bananas aren’t bruised.

  81. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Thundercats for mollificent.

    For fans of Indi and/or Jim Steranko. this is awesome stuff.

    captioned fennec.

    Comixed FC.

    furslinky.

    even otters will talk behind your back.

    yellow Lab puppeh.

    corgsqui.

  82. Jim North
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    I wasn’t going to say anything about 9 Chickweed Lane today, but what the hell.

    I’m gradually becoming more fascinated with the notion that Brooke might actually have suffered a moment of self-awareness down the track and realized that all of his characters are, in fact, completely wrong about everything they ever say or do. Unfortunately, his ego cannot allow such a fact to be known by the general population, so what he has been doing is setting each of his characters against each other in quasi-gladiatorial verbal matches in which one of them completely curb-stomps the other. Then, much later on, the situation is reversed and the stomping character becomes the stomped on, sometimes but not always by the person they put down earlier.

    In this way, every character is shown to be wrong, but since it’s not all at once, the Tethercat Principle (standard TVTROPES WILL RUIN blah blah blah) shifts mildly into effect. While one person is shown as absolutely, cripplingly wrong, the other is shown as a shining beacon of right, and thus the strip tries to trick the reader into thinking that particularly character was always right.

    It would seem that Brooke’s failing as a writer isn’t so much that he makes his mouthpiece characters vehicles for expounding on his own insane ideals, invulnerable to any criticism and never having a single moment of introspection. Though this is a problem inherent in his style, to be sure. No, the main problem now seems to be that his own smug sense of superiority won’t allow him to showcase his characters as being simultaneously flawed and capable. They can be wrong, or they can be right, but they sure as hell can’t be both at the same time, because that’s just too much like how real people behave in the real world as opposed to the fantasy land creeps Brooke has running around in his warped worldview. It’s so horrible an idea to contemplate for him that he would rather have them all be snobby jerks to each other in turns than to simply have them converse as equals about what points they each have that are valid or invalid.

    Or, hell, at least have them just degenerate into shouting matches where the real right and wrong are all jumbled up with each other amongst all the irrational, angry nonsense. Y’know, like in real life arguments?

    I dunno. Just a thought.

  83. commodorejohn
    January 8th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Saw Tron: Legacy last night. Anybody who enjoys the original or just likes watching Jeff Bridges steal scenes needs to see it in the theater, preferably in 3D. You have been advised. Anyway, on to the comics!

    6Chix – I thought that was what make-up se…*looks* Yep, beaten to the punch. I’ll just dig Fighting Lady’s look, then.

    A3G – Whoa, Margo admitted to ever having loved? The vodka must be getting to her.

    C&B – No, John Connor said that! Criminy, Leiknes, it’s like you don’t walk around with a complete index of everything about that movie in your head or something!

    Crankshaft – Think this joke has been driven into the ground yet? Well, Batiuk sure as hell doesn’t.

    Curtis – And here I was expecting some quick cop-out where Andrew beats the monster until it brings his dog back to life. Nope, that sucker is staying dead, at least for the moment.

    DT – Semi-infinite repetition of a short sequence with gradual variation until it morphs into the next not-quite-endless sequence: Dick Tracy is the comic-strip equivalent of techno.

    FC – You can’t read, dumbass.

    FW – Aww, Summer thinks her father would never willfully string along and emotionally dick with someone just to sate his own nauseating ego complex. Poor girl.

    H&L – The shocking truth: Hi & Lois was Love Is… THE WHOLE TIME!!!

    JP – Yeah, there’s a reason for that, Judge. And…say, is the stewardess wearing a sailor fuku? What airline is this!?

    MT – Uh, is this supposed to read like innuendo? I’m honestly not sure anymore.

    MW – Not only is Adrian’s dress mutable at will, so’s her hair.

    Phantom – NOOOO!!! OH, BAGUETTE, WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS TO YOU!?

    R&R – Uh-oh, Red. You just insulted Margo’s building! Better run!

  84. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#37): I wanted Aunt May and the Mole Man to live happily ever after. If necessary, I would even have been willing to accept Aunt June, the long-lost twin sister of Aunt May, suddenly appearing on the scene to take her place as the official sits-around-in-her-apartment-all-day-waiting-for-Peter role that is apparently deemed necessary in this strip. But noooo, Aunt May will be allowed no such happiness. And as your comment reminds us, she isn’t even allowed to have any real friends, let alone a life. FREE AUNT MAY! FREE AUNT MAY!

  85. Écureuil Écumant
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: I enjoyed the irony of watching Mr. Give Peace A Chance preparing to pop a lil’ hummingbird like a zit. We do love our primal urges; our brainstem abandons its hold on them reluctantly. (Augustine: “Da mihi castitatem et continentam, sed noli modo”)

    But then, ain’t that what brings us all here.

  86. Scott Bot
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    I think I may have figured out Dick Tracy’s latest story arc. If you figure that it’s been running since mid-November, and you figure it takes an average of one minute to read the dailies and three to read the Sunday strips (granted, you’d have to be pretty slow to take that long, but this is for the sake of argument), reading this story so far would take about an hour and 45 minutes. And that would seem to be how much time has progressed in the actual story from the point where Dick leaves the station to now.

    Clearly, the author is trying to have a real time comic strip, ala High Noon.

    That’s my theory, and I’m sticking with it.

  87. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    FW — All this sturm und drang over Les’s alleged romantic future would melt away if only Les were to suddenly die. Where’s a drunk driver with good aim when you really need one?

  88. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#86): But that means….that means….oh nooooooo!

  89. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#85): Thank you. That’s an excellent saying.

  90. ArchieNemesis
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#83): I just wanted to point out that your statement “Anybody who enjoys the original or just likes watching Jeff Bridges steal scenes needs to see it” applies to True Grit as well as Tron.

  91. commodorejohn
    January 8th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

  92. Joe Blevins
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    And today, Zombie Ziggy finally finds religion. Or, rather, religion finds him.

  93. kkarenb
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#36):
    They are missing a golden opportunity – why aren’t they showing the brother buying everything in sight?

    @Carl Barks Fan (#44): @John C Fremont (#68):
    Spin and Marty is War and Peace compared to Mark Trail. (Spin and Marty are the Beatles of my early childhood.)

    Pluggers – I can actually relate to this – many years ago I lived in a rural area, and once I saw five squirrels trying to get into our bird feeder at the same time.
    That looks sort of like a squirrel, which brings me to …

    Rose is Rose – What in the name of Gawd is that? If it hadn’t been for the alleged cat in the last panel, I never would have guessed that that creature was a mouse. This is a bigger failure than the squirrels in this strip – this “artist” should stick to the rainbows and sunshine and avoid animals altogether.

  94. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    CURTIS — Yes, I know the feeling. I loved my own cat so much that I named it Shitstreak.

  95. Calico
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#67):
    Wow, there’s no paranoia in the Catholic Church, is there?
    These “purists” are probably flipping out about Ratzinger’s recent comments on evolution.
    I’d go on with what little I know about my own religion, but I’ll save it for the Forums/’Pit.
    Anyway, the Keane Kidz are still morons.

  96. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#83): “Whoa, Margo admitted to ever having loved? The vodka must be getting to her.” Remember how happy she was when she was sorta engaged to Tibet-boy? Talking to him on the phone while looking at her “ringless finger” only to have him conveniently get buried in an avalanche or get blown up in a yurt or killed in some other exotic Himalayan disaster. And now the poor girl’s been so disillusioned by love she’s the emotionless husk we see today.

    @kkarenb (#93): “Spin and Marty.” I’m sorry, but “Spin” should be the horse’s name.

  97. Calico
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#85):
    As Poe would call it in a secular context, “The Imp of the Perverse.”

  98. kkarenb
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#96):
    Spin is an acceptable name for a boy at a dude ranch.

  99. This Guy
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    GF: Wilco speaks for us!

    Luann: Apparently, I’m such a sucker for the mousy meganekko type that I instinctively cheer for Bernice even though I know how bloody awful this strip is.

    Pluggers: So dog-man lives in the bird feeder? What is it, a badly disguised TARDIS?

    RwO: C’mon, Price, blond guys aren’t dumb–they’re evil.

  100. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#98): I’ll trust you. I wasn’t there.

  101. Bill Thompson
    January 8th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Pigborn: Will somebody please tell me that the blonde, greenskinned fairy is an avatar of Brooke McEldowney? If it is, it means that McEek shares the sentiments of us unwashed masses.

  102. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    The Keane Kids would bring shame into any religion, if it wasn’t already in place.

  103. mollificent
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    GT: Oh my GOD. “I heart Armani?” Are you F-ing KIDDING me?

    A3G: Admittedly, I’m way behind on reading the comments…I’ve had a pretty busy weekend. (She said as she reclined on the couch, sipping tea as the clock crept toward noon.) But I’m noticing a comparative dearth of Margo/BDSM-related snark given her chain-link necklace. Is this a niche that needs filling? Or are we leaving it alone in honor of our beloved absent Dingo? WWDW? (What Would Dingo Write?)

    On the other hand, it might be considered low-hanging fruit…Margo as the Mistress of Pleasure/Pain isn’t exactly a new concept around here.

    P.S. I emailed Dingo last night to express my fondest wishes for a speedy recovery. I also told him that, as they wheel him into surgery, he’s welcome to visualize me playing harp and singing “The Ballad of Rex and Guido.” That should knock him out cold in no time…save a fortune on anesthetic. ;)

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#81): LOVE IT! :) (Except now I keep picturing Cheetara singing “Memory”.)

  104. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#96): I first learned about yurts here in Comics Curmudgeonland.

    I also learned about hankie color significance, photoshopping and Rule 34 – once at the same time. I now know about zipper mules, salmon squares and the nuanced delivery of the word “quonk”. My education complete, I await my diploma in the mail.

  105. dyslexic dog
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#83): Re: Crank: It’s a legacy joke.

  106. dyslexic dog
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Whoever’s reading that newspaper in Judge Parker needs to reload Adobe Flash.

  107. Esther Blodgett
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Best wishes to Dingo. As a big fan of prayer, I’ll send one up.

  108. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#104): I’ve learned stuff, too, most recently what a “trinklet” is. Unfortunately.

  109. John C Fremont
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @dyslexic dog (#106): And at 40% off, he can’t afford not to buy that new set of Michelins.

  110. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#108): Yeah. I may never forgive CURTIS for this.

  111. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#108): I thought a “trinklet” was what you buy when you’re too broke to buy an actual trinket.

    That, or a little metallic chain with decorations that goes around your trinkle.

  112. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#111): That’s what I would have thought before I was so rudely disabused of that fiction. Damn you, Urban Dictionary!

  113. John C Fremont
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    “A Trinklet, a Trinklet
    Delicious whole-wheat Trinklet.”

  114. Old School Allie Cat
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Sorry I’m so late posting today – I spent all morning searching for that “Deedle Doobie” ring tone like Luann has.

  115. Uncle Lumpy
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    A tiny weight to compensate for your fishing lure’s lack of heft?
    A custom Bedazzled!® gem for your “I ♥ Armani” t-shirt?
    A morning-after powder for when you’ve had a bit too much to trink?

  116. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#33): Danged gnomes! HA!

    My daughter gets the absolute eepie-creepies when she sees yard gnomes. She has the same reaction when she sees puppets. I don’t know why, it’s not as if I tucked her in at night as a child with horrific tales of small ancient-looking farts in pointy hats doing unnatural things to hollowed-out creatures; she developed the abhorrence of the two completely on her own.

    Me, I dislike monkeys and “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks. The origins of the dislikes are mutually exclusive, because boy howdy I don’t want to think of monkeys singing “SinS” or I’ll hurl, swear to God I will.

  117. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    I trink, therefore I yam.

  118. Scott Bot
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#116): Me, I dislike monkeys and “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks. The origins of the dislikes are mutually exclusive, because boy howdy I don’t want to think of monkeys singing “SinS” or I’ll hurl, swear to God I will.

    That just makes me want to train a bunch of monkeys to sing Seasons in the Sun. I really don’t know why.

  119. Uncle Lumpy
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    “We have poo, we have aim
    And we’ll pelt you like the rain –
    You’ll be sticky when we’re done
    ‘Cause we fling it by the ton.”

  120. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#118): “That just makes me want to train a bunch of monkeys to sing Seasons in the Sun. I really don’t know why.” That just makes me all stabby. Truman, if the simianpocalypse happens, point me in Scott Bot’s direction. [*]

  121. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#118): I started to say “NOOOOOoooo!” until I read @Uncle Lumpy (#119): at which point I started laughing and laughing. I think I could handle the situation better than I originally figured. XD

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    1/8

    Curtis: Andrew soon learns that the only other person left on earth is Westview’s Les Moore. After three minutes he moves on. Perhaps loneliness is not the worst thing.

    Zits: Back when Jeremy had the nickname “freakishly tall grunge kid.”

    RMMD: “June? I don’t smoke, so why are you picking up that heavy glass ashtray? I’m not sure I like that look on your face. Rex! Please stop h–”

    MT: Clue alert! Clue alert!

    Blondie: Good idea to make Beasley and Herb look different if they’re going to show up on the same day. But I really suspect that Beasley’s gnome mask will spread less “joy” and more “inconsolable child wailing.”

    DtM: “Or did she say whorehouse?”

    GT: Get a little closer! It looks like the Thorps get hot and bothered talking about effeminate students. Best not to examine that one too closely.

    Marvin: Worse still, the food has been through Marvin’s digestive tract.

  123. bats :[
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#116): you’d better warn you daughter about an upcoming movie this spring, “Gnomeo and Juliet.” No, I am not making this up.

    @Scott Bot (#118): I’d tell True not to worry, but it’s probably easier to train the monkeys to sing Seasons in the Sun than to write Shakespeare.

  124. Scott Bot
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#120): Actually, I agree with you. Although I don’t mind Seasons that much, I sometimes feel like I’m the only person on the planet that doesn’t find monkeys even vaguely amusing.

  125. John C Fremont
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Remember Twinklet The Kid? Too bad he looked like a giant talking wiener. With “cream filling.” But howcum Ding Dongs looked like hockey pucks?

    @True Fable (#116): My little sister had a similar fear of Mr. Clean and The Checkerboard Squarecrow. Trips to the Safeway were lots of fun and probably didn’t leave more than a few permanent emotional scars. And those build character. So, you’re welcome, Sis!

    Hey, speaking of Seasons in the Sun, wasn’t it one of you guys who led me to this?

  126. bats :[
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#125): thank heavens, the video is subtitled in two languages, neither one of which I understand! Yay!

  127. AhClem
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#116): If “Seasons in the Sun” becomes lodged in my brain after reading your post, I’m holding you personally responsible.

  128. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Curtis, would Dick Tracy’s Wrist GeeNee been able to overpower the brengir? Make ya go “Hmmmmm.”

  129. Word-doctor
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    SM, 1/8
    This is simply an extended cautionary narrative illustrating what happens when you fool around “down there.”

  130. Nekrotzar
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    Hands up, anyone who predicted that the ‘everyone is dead’ scenario would occur in Curtis before it occurred in Funky Winkerbean.

  131. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

  132. Miss Othmar
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#119): Get Fuzzy had Bucky refer to this as “hygiene tactics” yesterday. Only funny thing the strip’s had to offer in weeks….

  133. ElkMeadow
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#48):

    I remember Little Iodine. She had the weirdest panties that were in almost in every panel and wondered where those came from. Later, I saw the movie “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” and the girls in there were wearing the same.

  134. ElkMeadow
    January 8th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    Here’s for the piano moving story arc at Apt. 3G

    http://vimeo.com/17620526

  135. Mibbitmaker
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    ~ KwCST3K ~
    (thanks for the title, Little Guy)

    Panel 1
    CROW: “Then he had Lisa Moore’s ghost comfort him.”
    SERVO: “Nah — with his luck, he’ll get Albert Pinkham Ryder!”

    Panel 2
    CROW: “I really hate that brengir!”
    SERVO: “BOO, brengir!”
    MIKE: “You suck, brengir!”

    Panel 3
    SERVO: “In a cave at Tora Bora!”
    MIKE: “Brengir breath is a Waldo from Hell!”

    Panel 4
    SERVO: “C-could it be?”
    CROW: “The Lone Ranger!
    SERVO: “The Cavalry!”
    CROW: “Superman!”
    SERVO: “It’s gotta be Megaweapon! Megaweapon is always on the side of good!”
    ALL: “HAIL, MEGAWEAPON!!”
    (pause)
    CROW: “Dear God, please don’t let it be Mary Worth!!
    MIKE: “Don’t even suggest such a thing!!”

  136. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#127): Tell you what: since it’s now lodged in MY brain after having successfully purged it the last time it was mentioned here, I’ll beat myself up for you in the hallway and collapse just a few feet short of my restorative-power Motown collection. All for you, buddy. All for you.

  137. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#123): Oh. Dear. GOD, say it ain’t so.

    Hopefully Gnomeo will drink the poison in the first scene so Juliet can run off with Mercutio.

  138. AhClem
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#136): Thanks, pal! I’ll be sure to send a rescue goat or two your way.

  139. Red Greenback
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#116):
    True story: There used to be a nail salon with one of those June Morgan-lookalike pictures in the window called “Lovely Hair and Nails” , and for some reason when I first saw the salon my mind started singing:
    We had joy
    We had fun
    We had Lovely Hair and Nails

  140. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#139): Red, I would love to travel whatever road your mind took to turn “Lovely Hair and Nails” into Season in the OH DAMMIT IT’S BACK IN MY HEAD AGAIN

  141. Aviatrix
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#86): I like your theory. Maybe it’s where they got the idea for 24. “Except tone down the torture and mutilation for network TV, ok?”

  142. Red Greenback
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#140): Sorry, my bad :-(

  143. Jamus The Bartender
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Saint Peter On A Pogo Stick, here we go again, with the snooty and the quasi-intellectual, and the self-absorption, and the…..damn Edda’s got a sweet little ass.

  144. Jamus The Bartender
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: I honestly don’t remember the last time I laughed out loud at a Doonesbury strip. Nodded thoughtfully in agreement or enlightenment, yes, but not laughed so much. The last time probably involved Uncle Duke on drugs or something. Go Mike.

  145. Jamus The Bartender
    January 8th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: Okay, John, welcome back to the seventies. They had these things called “key parties” where you could switch sexual partners for a night with your spouse’s blessing, more or less. Only downside here is Elly could meet a local guy and stay with him, which would leave you with Mike and Liz, which i’m pretty sure you don’t want.

  146. Jamus The Bartender
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I like the grin on Mister Bear’s face as he puts the anti-squirrel device on the bird-feeder. He’s got a LOT of emotional investment in making sure the birds get their free dinner.

  147. Joshua
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    My prediction for Monday’s Curtis: The other person turns out to be a woman who tells Andrew, “I met a brengir who offered to grant me one wish. And I wished that I would be the only person on earth, except for one other person, and that the other person wouldn’t have a dog.”

    And the moral of the story is, “Don’t assume that you’re the only person who gets to make wishes.”

  148. Jamus The Bartender
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Nope, not Fin-Fang-Foom, but one of the Mole Man’s creatures, who was on the cover of Fantastic Four #1, he had Invisible Girl in the same grip he’s got Aunt May, the Human Torch was flying in on her left, the Thing on the ground lower left, and lower right was Mister Fantastic….all tied up.
    Mister Fantastic was tied up. Now. Who tied up Mister Fantastic while a huge monster was attacking New York? I have never understood that.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#146): Isn’t Mr. Bear married to a large chicken? Just sayin’.

  150. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#142): Naw, I need to get tough!

  151. Pseudo3D
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#147): Well, I think it’s going to be a woman nonetheless.

  152. wossname
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#83):

    DT – Semi-infinite repetition of a short sequence with gradual variation until it morphs into the next not-quite-endless sequence: Dick Tracy is the comic-strip equivalent of techno.

    COTW nominee!

  153. BERTMARCH
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Boy this week of fruitcake “jokes” sure has been great, huh. Maybe next week will be nothing but jokes about airline food or men always leaving the toilet seat up.

    Spider-Man: And it’s got Aunt May! Uh, maybe I’ll let The Thing field this one while I swing out of here back to the surface, for strategic reasons of course.

  154. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Some stale comments, mostly written this morning before a bunch of stuff happened. (Not traumatic, just time-consuming.)

    9“or…” Amusing?

    Dennis – “That’s strange. Mom said Dad was in deep shit!”

  155. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Dick – How long before Dick realizes his true foe here is Stormo, the Weather King?

  156. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Family – “And often, when I see one of these men take this book in his hand, I wonder that he does not put it to his nose, like a monkey, or ask me if it is somethin’ good to eat.” — Leonardo

  157. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Fred – Left alone, Fred says “See if I care.” A real dog would say “See if I give a shit.”

    Fuzzy – Judging from context, “pull an absolute nutty” seems to be a euphemism for crapping his pants.

    (Kind of a theme going here today.)

  158. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Mark – Yeah, but the diamonds inside make a rattling noise that steelheads just can’t resist!

    Momma‘s idea of subtlety is posing as ‘Chad,’ the WW2 graffito. Killjoke was here.

  159. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – This feeble expedient might slow a real squirrel down by as much as ten seconds. Luckily for the birds, this one is a squirrel plugger, and he’ll spend an hour or so peering with hopeless bemusement at this unfathomable manifestation of technology before shrugging and going home to his black and white TV to spend the rest of the day looking fruitlessly for a broadcast station.

    Spider-Man – Judging from the look of speechless horror on the creature’s face, it thought it was grabbing Mary Jane and is now at a total loss as to how to get out of this gracefully.

  160. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#68): When my sisters went to Disneyland, Spin and Marty were there to promote their show on the Mickey Mouse Club. My sister who is four years older than me was about… four… and though there was a barrier, she ran past it to see her TV idols in person. They thought she was cute, as of course she was. This was probably in 1955 or 1956, and I was born at the end of 1956, so my memory of the event is not sharp.

    True Fable – Just for you: Hand Washing Station FAIL.

    @kkarenb (#98): It’s all explained in this song. Seriously, every character and incident in the first Spin and Marty series is touched on in this very special tune, which would have taken two full episodes just to sing. “Our lives from here on will be long / And we’ll never finish singing this g*****n song…”

  161. BERTMARCH
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Yet another General and Mrs. Halftrack moment from the couple who can make the Lockhorns look affectionate.

    Mandrake the Magician: Yes, my lumpy siloheutte creatures vs. Mandrake!

    Phantom: “That poor man! Now what will he do for groceries?”

  162. Mibbitmaker
    January 8th, 2011 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#157): Geoff Peterson: “In your pants!”

  163. True Fable
    January 8th, 2011 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#160): GOAT! Innovation Goat! I don’t see why it’s called Hand-Washing Fail – it looks perfectly logical to me. Wet scrubbing area + dirty hands = wet semi-dirty hands. I bet it’s still cleaner than Marvin, Billy Keane or Mikey Patterson on any area of their chunky little bodies.

  164. dimestore lipstick
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Carl Barks Fan (#48): Little Iodine is familiar to a lot of us here, since Jimmy Hatlo and Al Scaduto are by way of being heroes in these parts.

  165. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 8th, 2011 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#163): Aha! We think alike, sir!

  166. kkarenb
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#160):
    Yippee-ay, yippee-i, yippee-o. Did they do that in one take?
    A couple of months ago I read a book called “Why? Because We Like You!” There is a photo of Spin and Marty appearing at Disneyland.

  167. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    King of the Hill Soup to Nutz — That boy ain’t right!

  168. Poteet
    January 8th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#159): The squirrels around here would heartily agree with you. I can hear them laughing at that panel now. I do have a feeder that thwarts them, but it sure doesn’t look or work like that one. And I suspect they might be able to wreck it if they were really determined, so I scatter seed on the ground for them.

  169. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#166): Hm. William “One Shot” Beaudine directed the second Spin & Marty series, but not the first. However, my impression has been that they were rather keen on saving film and studio time throughout the Mickey Mouse Club series. Let’s be charitable, though, and estimate that they may have shot as much as three times as much film as they used. I think that’s about the same ratio as they used to have on porn movies back in the golden age.

    I’ve got four LPs worth of Mickey Mouse Club songs on my iPod. My favorite cut is Darlene Edwards and Buddy Ebsen singing “Buckwheat Cakes.” Even at that age, Darlene was a real pro, but Buddy steals the show anyway, projecting good-natured personality into even a single syllable. It’s hard for me to hear it without smiling. Even harder to reconcile that warmth with the cold-hearted way he sabotaged Nancy Kulp’s run for office back in the 80s. Makes you wonder.

  170. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    Saturday Leftovers:

    The Knight Life — In Europe they have bidets for that sort of thing!

    Ferd’nand — The “women are lousy drivers” canard is a creaky old relic… like this strip!

  171. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    @True Fable (#163):

    If the goat has to do those three, I really feel sorry for the goat.

  172. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#169): Argh, argh, argh, why’d you have to mention Beaudine? Now I’m having flashbacks to Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (the horrifying, horrifying proof that there is such a thing as a sub-par Jerry Lewis knockoff.)

  173. Pseudo3D
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#159): Maybe he was having a wedding of his own and meant to grab the officiant.

    Also: will there be a second “COTW” in the very near future that includes runner-ups taken from the 1500+ comment post?

  174. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    I’m waiting for the Prince Valiant update while I study the last strip. I wouldn’t say that Maldubh is a dark person, after all, she was on the other side of the market. In the last panel, Aleta is standing in the middle of the evening market. She has lost her handmaiden, and there’s someone in a brown hooded robe with a crutch, whose face is completely hidden, some guy in a wizard’s pointed hat, someone in a shorter pointed hat who is carrying a buck and a quarter staff.

    I’m sure that there’s an interesting tale about how a woman of Africian lineage made it to that part of England, to become a saleslady to Queen Aleta, but, alas! we’ll never read it.

  175. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#172): Hey, Sammy Petrillo was the best full-time Jerry Lewis impersonator ever! Though there was this moment on SNL when Lewis was hosting, and he came out and was delivering some incoherent shtick, and my attention was beginning to wander, and suddenly the real Jerry came out and suddenly there were two of them, and I had this true moment of mental confusion until I realized that Joe Piscopo had actually fooled me into thinking I was watching the real Joseph (or maybe Jerome) Levitch.

    (Damn, Piscopo used to be so amazingly good at what he did. And the last time I saw him was on a PBS no-budget half-hour show about getting your GED, and he was doing things like Dean Martin saying, “Hey, hey, hey, better get your GED…”)

    (Which reminds me strangely of a public access long spot I taped part of, years ago, with somebody in a Sugar Bear costume doing the voice perfectly, to promote school bus safety. “Hey, hey, hey, can’t get enough of that school bus safety!”)

    (And if I let my mind wander, its next stop is another school assembly kind of thing with costumed Hanna-Barbera characters doing a Christmas show somewhere, and doing the Jetsons Jingle Jump. And, god help me, it was just a jump to the left… and then a step to the right… I actually went slack-jawed in front of the TV set. They were doing the fucking Time Warp and calling it something else! … Minus the pelvic thrust, of course.)

  176. Donkey Hotey
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @True Fable (#116) and @Uncle Lumpy (#119): Dammit, you people have earwormed me. Now I have to go and listen to “American Pie” to get rid of it.

  177. Esther Blodgett
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#175): Oh God. Oh. God. I never realized until this moment…well, the moment a moment ago when I read your post…that Sugar Bear was doing a low-rent Dean Martin impression. It’s – it’s too horrible to contemplate. This is worse than having “Seasons in the Sun” in my head for eternity. I’ll never be able to listen to Dino again without picturing that goddamn smug bear in his stupid blue turtleneck.

    If you’ll excuse me, I have to go drink six gallons of margaritas now to try to ease the pain… *runs from the computer sobbing*

  178. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#176):

    Actually, [Old Man] Muffaroo is handing out “(Let’s Do The) Time Warp” earworms. Want mine? It’s actually two or three days for me, as I keep going back to get a fresh one at youtube. American Pie, not for me today, but maybe tomorrow.

  179. True Fable
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#176): We are Teh Evil your mama warned you about. Mwahaha….!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#165): It’s an honor to stand in your company, sir!

    @ElkMeadow (#171): Oh, at Rancho Fable we never, never say a goat would “do” any of those three. There are some things even a buck in rut won’t do.

  180. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    Still waiting for the PV update….Flash Gordon is apparently taking place in a universe where Spiderman gets off the couch and is on the Dark Side.

  181. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    Um, Uncle Lumpy, remember how you were able to link to Sunday’s Prince Valiant, while it was still Saturday evening? I tried to find that link, but apparently it’s buried in that 1000+ long week-end. Would you please show me how to get there again? I promise to bookmark it this time. Please?

  182. Buchholz Surfer
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Random Lines From Today’s Funnies:
    It’s one of my governing principles to avoid jock-centric environments. Do you often celebrate the new year alone, Margo? Thanks moron. You want to get paid to be a jerk? Now he was completely alone. I surrender. Tug tug poink!

  183. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    What are the chances that Berna’s going to discover she’s missing her lottery ticket –and it shows up in Jill’s envelope to Scott and Adrian?

  184. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    Cul-de-Sac have Sooti! Those little trolls will get rid of the gnomes, maybe.

  185. ElkMeadow
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    Aurgh! I’m the last one on tonight again, aren’t I? Good-night all. I’m turning off the lights. *click*

  186. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Earworm problems? Follow the link to “Buckwheat Cakes” in this comment and at least get something worth listening to. Darlene and Buddy are the real… hey! Why did it just go dark? I’m in here!

  187. Red Greenback
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    *CRASH!* Ow! My shin! My beautiful shin!

  188. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#185): It’s okay Elk, I’m here too. Eating chocolate and watching videos.

  189. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#181):

    Got yer PV right here: http://content.comicskingdom.net/Prince_Valiant/Prince_Valiant.20110109.gif

    Remember, copy and paste — if you click, King will deny you as a hotlinker.

  190. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#189): Wow, detailed, interesting artwork. I haven’t seen PV since I was a little kids, and learned to ignore it like Judge Parker and Mary Worth.

  191. Jason1981
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    FW: Forget jail. Put him in the electric chair . No, wait, that’d end too fast. Taze him, bro!

    Popeye: Snow plows? You don’t need a snow plow, Wimpy. Just give Popeye some spinach and he’ll turn his pipe into a flame thrower or something to melt the snow.

    Curtis: If you think you feel sick, kid, just imagine how SHE feels getting your class’s slobber all over her.

  192. Poteet
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#189): Thank you — I did it right this time. Wow, this Camelot is a complicated place with complicated problems. The rain may never fall til after sundown, indeed.

  193. Walker of Dog
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (#191): I imagined a nice, vigorous tazing following each of Les’s obnoxious outbursts. Made for some soothing late-night reading.

  194. Poteet
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#193): Yeah, tazing. That’s the ticket.

  195. Chip Whittle
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: “I’ve only just begun to fight!” THWAK! “Unnnhh!”

    This has been The Amazing Spider-Man in Ten Syllables. He can’t even stay active long enough to form a haiku.

  196. Bill Thompson
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    FunkyWhatever: “What happens if I stand with one foot here and one foot there?” Then, Les, TSA asks you to hold that position so they can see just how big an asshole you are.

  197. This Guy
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    1/9
    FW: Fry him a little? This is his true nature. It’s like the fan theory that when Palpatine got hit with his own Force lightning, it just destroyed the mask of normality he’d been keeping up for years.

  198. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:28 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers is pedophiles! Deep down we all suspected it but now we have proof.

  199. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:29 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Wanna know why Margo’s warming up to Trey after he ditched the scarf? He looks like her long-buried future husband. And every other dark-haired man who’s not wearing a kerchief or ascot around his neck.

  200. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: That bottom center panel. The action. Did Mystery Guest Monster just hork up Spiderman like Garfield does a hairball? Belch him out of the way with a garlic and tuna breath burp? I just don’t know.

  201. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:31 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Go, Bitsy, Go! Go get the water hose and make that an icy tomb.

  202. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:32 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox Mysteries: This caper was too clever to be set up by Reeky Rat. And too active for Spiderman.

  203. TinLizzie
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Mole-Man is my new hero.

  204. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Those snowmen would be perfect places to stash the dead hookers.

  205. gleeb
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    PV: Once again, Gawain hilariously kills several people. What a scamp.

    The Other Coast: A man is short. That’s the joke.

    Slylock: Box O’ Thief! Also, why is Attorney-General Holder standing waiting for the bus? He should be making enough to get a place near the Metro.

    Luann: These young people, they dress like a gang of ragamuffins, am I right?

    ‘bean: Yes, air travel does offer many excuses for being an absolute dick, doesn’t it?

  206. Amateur
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#195): COTW!

    MW: As usual, Adrian, you’ve got it all backwards. One thing Jill never had any trouble doing is talking to you.

  207. Buck Ripsnort
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    0CL: Dare we hope the pool is drained?

    FW: Dare we hope for a tazing?

  208. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#207): “FW: Dare we hope for a tazing?” Mrs. “Crazy Taser Lady” Bloom is on vacation in Florida. Or so she claims…

  209. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MW: What is in that envelope? Stay tuned for next week’s exciting opening the envelope plot line culminating in the Saturday, “I don’t believe it!” cliffhanger.

  210. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is there an: “Oh shit, I can’t thinki of anything new to write, I’ll just do a flashback until I think of something” trope? If not, we are witnessing its birth.

  211. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man — It’s much funnier if you imagine Aunt May yelling “HELLLP!” in Tweety Bird’s voice!

  212. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    FC: And that ain’t all Barfy taught PJ to do when lifting a leg.

  213. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    JP: mmmmmmm, Dixie Julip. It’s one of the wonderful things about being a ‘mudgeon. An otherwise boring and pedestrian bit of exposition becomes awesome because you just know that the collective ‘mudgeon reaction is going to be massive. Also, the second throw-away panel is pretty much a shout out to the whole “Judge Parker doesn’t appear in his own strip” meme.

    SFx: oh, ever so much snark for this one. Lets see, Shady Shrew was in the box, Bob Weber Jr shows Brookins how to draw a squirrel, and “hullo, coyotee naybor!”

    PBS: preach it, RAT!

    Zits: wa-saaaaaaaabi. also, horrifying last panel.

    CdS: I love this strip.

    A&J: win.

    9CL: breaking the panel, in a good way. (see previous comments by Jamus. . . )

    FT: ewwww at the avacado.

    IP: Chuck Jones weeps.

    MT: needs a fish skeleton somewhere.

  214. DebiDawg
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    A3G: OMFG! What is up with that hand?!?!?

  215. Vince M
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#177): Probably doesn’t help, but I always heard Sugar Bear as Bing Crosby. Now that DePatie-Freleng cartoon ‘The Ant & the Aardvark’, has the ant with a Dino voice, pitted against…who, Joey Bishop? Jackie Mason?
    I’ve found you can’t eliminate one earworm with another…I’m going to have a medley of ‘Seasons’, ‘Time Warp’, and ‘Can’t get enough of that Sugar Crisp’ going all day, with a chorus of ‘Yippie-yay, yippie-oh.’

  216. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Where the hell is this guy shopping where a tv costs $9532.56? I just priced out a 3D blueray based home theater system w/60″ LCD at $4279.91 including the fee for someone to come in and set it all up because I’m a lazy bastard.

  217. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @DebiDawg (#214): The real OMFG question is: “Where’s the other hand?”

  218. Vince M
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#216): The aerial perspective shot makes the set look two stories tall. Bet the next thing he’ll buy is a new house to fit it in.

  219. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean — What Les sees as a rapier wit, the rest of the world sees as a butter-knife wit!

    Monty + Bleeker the Rechargeable Dog — Ha ha… Robots are intrinsically funny! (No, not really…)

  220. Weaselboy
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I just guessed Crankshaft’s punch line. Does that mean I no longer have to read the strip? Cuz I can deal with that.

  221. Terryfic
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#216): He’s also getting an entertainment center to put it in

  222. Terryfic
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    …and a Lazy Boy

  223. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Pardon My Planet — Booty call!

    Oh, Brother! + Family Circus — Bud and PJ vie with Marmaduke and Fred Basset for our affections contempt!

  224. John C Fremont
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#156): Not King Leonardo? And Odie O. Colognie? Great, now I’ve got “The Bongo Congo” stuck in my head.

    Oh, well, it could be worse. It could be “The Wango Tango” – D’oh!

    MT – So I guess the moral of all this is that there’s some mighty good eatin’ down there.

    RMMD – Toots?!

    JP – Speaking of patterns emerging – Rowr!

    GA – Hey, Pluggers don’t even know what Hollandaise is!

  225. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 9th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    all 4 Frame Games correct! *happy dance*

  226. Pseudo3D
    January 9th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Some Sunday comics are pretty cool today, actually.

    FW: Les is in later points of his sanity breakdown! Hooray!

    9CL: Edda finally committed suicide off from 9CL! Hooray!

  227. Pseudo3D
    January 9th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

  228. TheDiva
    January 9th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: He has GOT to be doing this on purpose.

    FW: We all knew Les was a self-centered jerk, but making one empathize with the air travel industry? That’s a special kind of assholery right there. (There’s a word or TVTrope or something for what happens when an argument is so poorly presented, even the people who might otherwise agree with it are turned off, but I don’t have time to hunt it down.)

    Marvin: Best. Marvin. Ever. (I know, not saying much…)

    MW: If Jill could talk to you, she’d tell you it’s bad form to open your wedding presents at the reception. (And in panel five, the role of Mary Worth will be played by one of the last surviving Munchkins.)

    SM: “I’ve only just begun to fight!” Spider-Man may be ineffective, but at least he’s honest about it.

    I’m calling it: Mole Man decides a life among the monsters is too dangerous for dear Aunt May, and breaks off the wedding so she can go back to New York where she’ll be safe. (Apart from muggings, crazy taxi drivers, scam artists, improperly secured aerial artists…)

  229. Word-doctor
    January 9th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#196):
    Actually, TSA would see how big they could make his asshole. (Robert Stack intonation right here)

  230. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    In Soviet Russia, puppies cuddle you.

    Demotivational diet.

    > 9000 corgsqui

    corgsqui for Fashion Police.

  231. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    At the risk of mental breakdown, here’s a cross-over concept.

    Imagine a discussion between OBH’s Ruthie and Crankshaft.

  232. Walker of Dog
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#220): In keeping with the original riddle of the sphinx, now that you have solved his joke-like puzzle, Crankshaft has to throw himself off a cliff.

  233. Professor Fate
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    FW: Les Moore – Striking a blow for the common man by being a total smug dick to people who have shitty jobs. The professor would also like to note that one’s personal inconveniences do not constitute oppression. And these are not the people making these stupid rules – that is done by people in offices with advanced degrees and important sounding titles, the kind of folks Les would kiss up to in a second. For example, He didn’t give the doctor who screwed up Lisa’s x-rays anything near this kind of shit and that cost his wife her life (granted he’s been milking her death until it moos with pain but that’s another rant) but no, he’s content to kick down. He’s trying to humiliate these folks by showing he’s their better. So chalk one more up for Tom’s inability to have any empathy for anyone but his own surrogate in this strip.
    And yes air travel is awful and yes some security people can come off like soviet commisars on a bad hair day but deal with enough pricks like Les and a supervisory system that assumes you’re an idiot, i’m not sure how many of us would be able to resist the temptation to misuse what power we do have to kick down as well.
    well enough of that.

    Pibgorn: I think you speak for a lot of your readers here about now.

    MW: Well i get one more day to imagine it’s a letter bomb.

  234. Anonymous
    January 9th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Oh my GAWD, y’all… didn’t anyone else watch Modern Family last week? Phil said his nemesis real estate agent is named Gil Thorp! Isn’t that awesome? check it out!!! http://www.hulu.com/watch/203053/modern-family-slow-down-your-neighbors#s-p1-so-i0

  235. ArchieNemesis
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#228): Nice call on the Spiderman plot. I can only hope that this fiasco will have a touching and thoughtful resolution such as the one you propose. Unfortunately it will probably end with the green behemoth, Mole Man, Spidey, and Thing, all standing toe-to-toe, whacking away at each other with found objects, while Aunt May and Mary Jane are inexplicably carried to the surface and sent on their way by the goggled and diapered minions.

  236. Ed Dravecky
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#234): A real estate agent named Gil Thorp? Any chance the local high school football coach is named Lois Flagston?

  237. commodorejohn
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – *quiet whimpering noise*

    A3G – Okay, Trey is wearing a notably different face in every single panel, so much so that even I can tell. Is he actually a T-1000, sent back in time to assassinate Margo?

    Bizarro – don’t ponder the logistics don’t ponder the logistics don’t ponder the logistics ARGH too late.

    DT – Listen, you dumbass, Dick Tracy IS a “real live killer.”

    FG – So, uh, what exactly do you have to gain from not helping Flash destroy the eldritch horror, Evily McTurncoat? I mean, I can understand trying to get away when it was just you, but you’ve got three guys, two pistols, and some kind of space-bazooka on the floor there – you probably stand a better chance of taking down the alligator-octopus thing than you do of not being eaten by it in a “but I did everything you asked!” moment.

    FW – So Les is becoming even more of an insufferable neurotic twat. Hooray. (At least he’s inflicting himself on DHS pigs, which means annoyance for them and the prospect of a full cavity search for him.)

    JP – I’m pouring one out for Dixie Julep, guys. It’s been so long since that very best Judge Parker storyline ever… (Also, Sam and the Judge bond over a paranoid fear of women, surprise surprise.)

    Luann – The only thing worse than the “distressed clothing” fad is listening to old people gripe and bitch about the “distressed clothing” fad.

    MT – Octopus! Come on, Elrod, when are these guys going to get their own Sunday?

    MW – Aww, look at the Adrian and Jill cosplayers behind the happy bland couple! They must’ve put so much work into that!

    Pluggers – Either Pluggers have an interesting definition of “night,” or it’s possible for the color monkeys to screw up Sunday strips. Good god.

    PV – Fifth-century Jenga!

    RMMD – That’s it, Berna. Just cut him off.

    SF – So did Ted put them up to this, or is it just his genetic legacy in his daughter that’s responsible?

    SM – Mmm. That’s not a bad angle on Mary-Jane, there.

  238. Amateur
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    My prediction of the next few days of “Mary Worth”:

    Monday:

    Adrian: Jill got me a present, but she made such a scene!
    Mary: A gift covers a multitude of sins.
    Scott: (looks vapid)

    Tuesday:

    Adrian: Why couldn’t she just talk to me?
    Mary: Sometimes actions speak louder than words!
    Scott: (looks vapid)

    Wednesday:

    Text box: “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” –Anonymous
    Adrian: A gift is nice, but I don’t know if I can ever get over it.
    Mary: This is her way of making it up to you!
    Scott: (looks vapid)

    Thursday:

    Adrian: I wonder what it could be?
    Mary: I think it was a nice gesture.
    Me: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND OPEN THE BLASTED THING ALREADY!?
    Scott: (looks startled)

  239. Joe Blevins
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

  240. Old School Allie Cat
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    RwO – I have carefully looked at this several times. I know the last line and drawing refer to an appendix, but I swear it looks like she’s saying you need a dick to be in middle management. And based on my personal experience, she’s dead on.

  241. bats :[
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @TinLizzie (#203): Spidey, the Thing, and Melvin? Could it be the advent of The Terrific Trio?
    (More like “The Contentious Couple and Whiney Old Spiderman”)

    @gleeb (#205): re PV: but cute counts.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#219): re FW: what Les sees as rapier wit, the rest of the world sees as Goomph Him in the Balls…

  242. mollificent
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Just please, for the love of God, pronounce it “Rowling” to rhyme with “bowling”. Lisa Simpson broke my heart when JKR did her guest spot on the Simpsons…if ANYONE should’ve known how to pronounce it…

    FW: I just…I just hate Les Moore SO MUCH.

  243. Baka Gaijin
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#237): “So did Ted [Forth] put them up to this, or is it just his genetic legacy in his daughter that’s responsible?” Genetic legacy. Definitely genetic legacy.

  244. bats :[
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

  245. treedweller
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Today (sunday) we learn that the Keane family is home-schooled. We also find out who the smartest one in their house is.

  246. This Guy
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#242): I’d forgotten that about Lisa mispronouncing Rowling’s name. Guest stars often don’t record with the main cast, especially if it’s a brief cameo, but I wish she’d said something. Maybe they recorded her dialogue before Yeardley Smith’s.

  247. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Does this indicate that a Pluggers “night out” ends at sunset because Pluggers don’t stay up that late?

  248. Pseudo3D
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn and 9CL: Interesting. The titular character of Pibgorn wants to be killed, and Edda has just jumped out of the comic strip.

    DT: “Hmm…I prefer Dick Tracy — Real Live Killer, but Dick Tracy — The Storm sounds good too.”

    Marvin: I hope that the rest of the week has Marvin’s thought balloons as he slowly freezes to death.

  249. Pseudo3D
    January 9th, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    OK, let me just say one more thing about two comic strips that I learned about through Comics Curmudgeon:

    9 Chickweed Lane and Funky Winkerbean fail as good comic strips, because of this: all the characters in them appear to be just fragments of the author’s own personality. When was the last time you saw a Funky Winkerbean character that actually provided a real foil to Les Moore and wasn’t portrayed as antagonist? Why is there no character in either of these comic strips that are opposites of the personalities in these strips but aren’t vilified?

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  250. Joe Blevins
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Here are my thoughts on Schulz & Peanuts: A Biography.

    And there’s a new color Sunday zombie Ziggy, too.

  251. Black Drazon
    January 9th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Fans of irregular onomatopoeia would be advised to check out today’s Zits, featuring “SPANG”. Apparently it’s the sound your skull makes just at the infinitesimal moment before it bursts and your eyeballs burst out to hang dangling by the optic nerves. Surely Dick Tracy can make use of this.

  252. Buck Ripsnort
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    FW: The only thing that could save this from utter assholery is Les cracking “wise” during a full-cavity search. Taste that rubber glove, Les! TASTE IT!

  253. Buck Ripsnort
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    251 Black Drazon:
    According to one of my favorite comedy sites, B3TA.com, SPANG is the noise made when you hit someone w/ frying pan after they make a horrible pun. I would like to see Crankshaft make use of that.

  254. Steve the Pocket
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#251): Huh. I thought SPANG was the sound made by getting hit in the back of the head with a frying pan. I know I’ve seen it used before for that something similar.

    Between Friends: Four panels with one line of dialog apiece. What a creative, efficient use of the Sunday space!

    Blondie: Dithers is such an ass, he can’t stand to see one of his employees not be miserable. Maybe he’s been ghostwriting Funky Winkerbean for the past few years.

    One Big Happy: So the “joke” is making a reference and then, for the punchline, explaining it. And the person explaining it (a kid) is way more likely to not be familiar with the reference than the person she’s explaining it to (an old person). What.

    Sherman’s Lagoon: Wow. I don’t read this strip much, so help me out here. Is it a recurring theme that the turtle is a turtle supremacist and the crab just takes his bull at face value?

    That’s all I got for today.

  255. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#231): It would be kind of like Dennis the Menace, except that Mr. Wilson might fight back.

  256. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Prince Valiant – Termites? In Camelot? But I thought a law was passed, a distant moon ago.

    F- – Scene two. A dog shows up, sniffing his way through the grass.

  257. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    AD – Thor runs naked through the snow. That must be a really effective stocking cap. Happiness is a warm toque.

    Slylock – This could have been avoided if Patty Pooch had taken the simple precaution of sticking a sword through the package several times. I think that was in Crimestoppers once.

  258. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Mary – It’s too much to hope that it might be Joker venom gas, eh?

    Smirky – Looks like a bunch of pleas for help. “Kill me. Just kill me!” (Good heavens, bats :[ got there first!)

  259. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#209): I hear there’s a fierce papercut on Wednesday!!

  260. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    Adam: Go to your bathroom and get a real tube of toothpaste. Not hemmaroid cream, a tube of ordinary toothpaste. Squeeze it. Anywhere. Release. Notice something? The construction of modern toothpaste tubes makes old-fashioned bottom-squeezing etiquette unnecessary. This joke is from the previous century. Now put the toothpaste back, and while you’re in there make sure the toilet paper spools off the top of the roll. Unless you have cats.

  261. BERTMARCH
    January 9th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Non Sequiter: Yet another Wiley style Sunday strip consisting of several panels of belabored setup for a groan inducing “joke”. It’s like a weeks worth of Crankshaft strips mashed into one.

    Phantom: “I’m finally going to meet the Unknown Commander and get to tell him how nifty keen I think he is! ::squeals girlishly::”

    MW: “Oh, tickets for a honeymoon trip. A nice gesture I suppose but Adrian and I still are going to go to a local motel and have a night at the Bum Boat. So many nights at the Bum Boat are yet to come, my dear.”

    Wizard of Id: Almost as incomprehensible as a “Crock” strip.

    RMMD: Like I said, Berna should have locked Dex up in a closet before she left or something.

  262. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: The Jumborama 3000 TV and deluxe lounger with service contract is not a bad investment for Berna. It pretty much assures that all she has to do is pay the cable bill and keep her brother stocked with beer and snack food and he’ll stay out of the way. Plus buy the right snack foods in sufficient quantities, and he’ll be out of the way permanently before long.

  263. Mollificent
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#244): *wild applause*

  264. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: My usual thought train of “what is the Sunday plot about again?” is badly derailed by an overwhelming sense of “damn, these guys need a better security system.”

  265. zerowolf
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

  266. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#264):

    damn, these guys need a better security system.

    Won’t help — remember the old Jungle saying, “The Phantom comes in on little cat feet.”

    No wait, “Something there is that doesn’t love a Phantom?” “Two roads diverged in a yellow Phantom?” That can’t be right.

    I give up.

  267. BERTMARCH
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Prince Valiant: Apparently Camelot is being repaired by Fat Tony’s construction firm.

    Beetle Bailey: OK Beetle Bailey, this one was mildly amusing.

  268. TheDiva
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Professor Fate (#233): I think Les’ crowning moment of jerkass would have to be yelling at the flight attendant for giving the safety talk that she is required by international regulation to perform. (I’m pretty sure the flight attendants don’t like that part any more than the passengers do; I’ve been on planes where they actually said in effect “We know, you’ve heard this a thousand times but it’s our job to go through it before every flight, so bear with us a few minutes, okay?”) This is why I think everyone should hold at least one customer service-type job at least once in their lives–so they know how it feels to deal with assholes like Les, and hopefully not become one themselves.

  269. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Today’s FW so quickly makes us despise Les as someone who takes joy in irritating the powerless, that I’m going to assume it’s done on purpose. Cue Dead Lisa making another alerting call to the authorities, and the snapping sound of blue latex gloves. The throwaway panels are also seamlessly fitted to the strip, a lesson that A3G should study. There the double narration box makes it seem as if Trey has been nagging Margo relentlessly all night, until he finally wears her down enough to get an answer.

    I’m loving throwaway panels today:

    In MW, Scott is practically cackling. “It’s too late now, my pretty. Muahahaha!” and my initial understanding was that Crankshaft is singing a song about a lady farting. Possibly from overconsumption of fruitcake.

  270. hypochrismutreefuzz
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    But could Hamster Woman defeat Sqrrll Grrll?! I don’t think so.

  271. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#255): I was thinking more of the avalanche of malaprops, but that works too.

  272. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#268): I once had a boss who forbade us to blame any safety procedures on government regulations. Each one was always to be presented as stemming from our personal and corporate heartfelt interest in safety, with no suggestion that it was pro-forma. And you would be amazed by the number of people who cannot operate a seatbelt, and by the number of passengers aboard the Hudson ditching who completely forgot that their seat cushion could be used as a flotation device.

  273. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#271): Oh yeah, they’d both get everything wrong, but understand each other perfectly. Kind of cute, really. Until the barbecue explosion.

  274. Esther Blodgett
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Pearls: Oh, Diogerat, I think I love you.

    Zits: I find the image of Pierce with his eyeballs hanging out strangely compelling.

    PV: Oh, that Gawain! Always bringing the house down!

    FW: Oh, that Les! What an asshole!

    Curtis: Blah blah blah JK Rowling blah blah blah. WHAT ABOUT TRINKLET?

  275. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    I’m enjoying, fortune cookie style, augmenting each line in any Sunday Mark Trail with “on the dinner table.” It produces a cogent build-up to the inevitable overt statement relating the nature subject of the week to tasty food.

  276. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    PBS: It’s more amusing to have all four final words in that dialogue bubble censored than it would be to have them written out. I’m not sure if it’s the non-traditional use of a lantern that makes the joke, or the obscuration of words as innocuous as “up” combined with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, will complain anyway.

  277. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#266): Then how about “damn, these guys need to not have an unmonitored two-metre diameter culvert running from their front yard banana tree straight to their safe”?

  278. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#277):

    Old Jungle Saying: “Phantom rough on nonconforming drainage modifications.”

  279. TheDiva
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#272): I’m the sort of person who in an emergency winds up like that lady in Airplane!, going into hysterics until people are lining up to slap her, so I can empathize with the seat cushion thing. But that’s the thing–there are always the people who for whatever reason don’t know (or have forgotten) the basic safety protocol, so it makes sense to remind them. Les just doesn’t want to deal with it because he’s the Specialest Snowflake of the Universe so the rules shouldn’t apply to him.

  280. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#266): Hog butcher to the nation?

  281. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#279):

    My beef with the safety protocol is there’s so much dumb stuff in there it drowns out the key messages a) seat belt always, and very tight for takeoff and landing, b) where are your first- and second-choice exits, c) the oxygen is a “right now” thing, d) read the damn card (for bracing positions and door/slide operation).

    Aviatrix?

  282. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#280):

    He grows old, he grows old; he shall wear the bottoms of his Spandex® rolled.

  283. Scott Bot
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    DT – And another three minutes ticks by on the Dick Tracy timeline. (By the way, did you know there’s a storm out there? I sure didn’t).

    FW – Now wait just a freakin’ minute here – I thought Les was home from his book tour, dancing with the dead wife. When the hell did he start traveling again?

  284. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#281): Awesome summary. Add how to stow your baggage securely, and you’ve pretty much got it. It is illegal to dilute the safety briefing with non safety-related service messages, so pretty much everything that is in there is either legally mandated or verbiage intended by the airline to slightly disguise the “we now want you to think carefully about what you will do if we crash on take-off” message. It’s the need to balance conveying the necessary information with not utterly terrifying passengers that stretches it out. That and the Spanish/French/German and Chinese versions.

    And I HATE it when they request your information for an important safety announcement, and then play the message from the president before the briefing tape. I always want to write the president and complain, but I never do, because I forget before I am allowed to turn my electronic devices back on.

  285. Katy
    January 9th, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    When Les goes to a coffee shop, and the waitress asks for his order, Les says “An order of you, and …..skip the dressing!”

    I was a waitress. I know this.

  286. Uncle Lumpy
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#284):

    Yeah, luggage — I get really pissy when somebody’s backpack or seat back is between me and the aisle.

  287. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#281): And whenever I talk to parents they are all “And I don’t care what they say, I’m putting the oxygen on my child first.” What they don’t get is that not having an oxygen mask on for fifteen seconds isn’t going to harm you. But not having an oxygen mask on for fifteen seconds may just make you dazed enough that you can’t figure out how to put yours on before you fall unconscious, thus rendering you unable to do anything about the fact that your kid has taken its oxygen mask off and is terrified.

    People: unless you’re on the ground, when the masks fall, put yours on. Immediately. Then help those around you who are either too small to reach or who wasted their precious seconds of useful consciousness screaming and doubting if this was for real. If it’s not for real, the flight attendants will make an announcement to that effect. And do tug on the thing if that was in the briefing. If oxygen generators are involved, they need the pull to activate them.

    And then you can do Darth Vader impressions to amuse your fellow passengers during the ensuing emergency descent.

  288. Walker of Dog
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#284): I haven’t flown in a while – what is the president’s message? Is he showing the passengers his kids’ latest school pictures?

    @Scott Bot (#283): We had some rain move in late last night, but today it finished up and moved out! I had all my provisions ready for the usual 30-day downpour.

    Global warming?

  289. Katy
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    I am so incredibly glad to know why they always say “Put your oxygen mask on first.” I thought it might be because otherwise you will get sick and so will your child and then the flight attendant will have to help two of you instead of just one. But for years I’ve wondered if perhaps there’s another reason, and since I’m a very very unhappy flier, I’ve always been concerned that the other reason might have to do with satan or something.

    I always count the rows between me and the two nearest exits. And I always study the flight safety card. And I always use care when opening the overhead bins, because I am fully aware that the contents might have shifted during flight, EXPOSING THE GINSU KNIVES, WHICH WILL FALL ON MY HEAD.

  290. Katy
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Damn it Aviatrix 284, my previous message was for you.

  291. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#288): The president of the airline, not the country. He’s very happy that you have chosen his airline with which to do business and wants you to know that he values you as a customer, and is especially delighted to have this opportunity to advertise at you now that you are literally strapped to a seat and subject to federal penalties should you try to do anything other than sit there passively.

    I think at this point that it may be a felony simply to yell “AAARGH” in protest.

  292. AhClem
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Quill new years eve kiss Bernice Quill ne …

    ATTENTION!! WE INTERRUPT THIS STORYLINE TO BRING YOU A CUTTING EDGE HUMOR ANNOUNCEMENT:

    Hahaha! Those kids today, with their expensive torn-up jeans!! Amiright?

    WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED SQUICK, WHICH IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS:

    …iss Bernice Quill new years eve kiss Bernice … (continue ad nauseum)

  293. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#289): You, Katy, may sit next to me any time. Unless I’m at the pointy end, in which case I’d prefer to have someone less nervous about flying up there with me.

  294. Jamus The Bartender
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Does this mean Mark is gonna go on a ten day drunk and hunt down the shark that killed his best friend?

  295. Ukulele Ike
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#266): Well, isn’t that the frosting on the cake.

    MW: Hey, remember how Jill wrote Scott’s name with a big treble clef as the “S”? I’ll bet she gave them an envelopeful of her famous hand-cut oboe reeds.

  296. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#295): If Adrian is an expert oboe player, that might explain what Scott sees in her.

  297. whozitwhatzit
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#285): Sounds about right.

    Soooo.. Mr. Crankshaft has yellow fever? Sounds about right.

  298. bats :[
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#283): re FW: do you care when Les left? I mean…really?!
    (I suspect he returned home for the holidays, since who on God’s green earth would bother seeing The Famous Writer anytime between Christmas and New Year.)

    @Aviatrix (#287): this putting on of parental masks first before kids masks doesn’t apply to the Keanes, does it?

  299. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#298): I get a brain error when I try to picture the Keene family seated on an airliner. Has such a thing occurred? Is this enough to get me out of trying to come up with a witty remark connecting melon heads and oxygen masks?

  300. Jason1981
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#268): Too bad not ALL flight attendants are like one that was on a flight I took. He was good at making the saftey instructions actually AMUSING .

    “Smoking is not allowed. If you are caught smoking, you may be asked to step outside. ” ; “If you are with a child –or someone who acts like a child– once you stop screaming, put your oxygen mask on first, then help them with their mask . ” etc.

  301. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#295): I wondered about that clef. I wondered if she was trying to make treble.

  302. Katy
    January 9th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Aviatrix, if you ever want someone less nervous than me to sit up beside you at the pointy end of the aircraft, you have 98% of the population of the globe to choose from.

    I know all about Bernoulli’s Principle and it doesn’t help.

  303. Anonymous
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#298): Well, not really, but the thought kind of crossed my mind. I just wasn’t looking forward to two or three more weeks of book tour crap.

    Sorry to have offended you…

  304. Katy
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    The hell? I just read the Curtis trainwreck. According to Curtis, the seven principles of Kwanzaa include: (1) don’t strive for peace, but (2) if you do learn your lesson and start to become un-peaceful, be sure that whatever you’re threatening can’t fight back.

  305. Scott Bot
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#303): And yeah, that was me.

  306. Walker of Dog
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#291): Mandatory mind-control video with physical restraints?
    On my next flight, I think I’ll wear the classic Malcolm McDowell eye makeup.

  307. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#303): I’m certain bats:[ isn’t offended, and that you share an extreme disinterest in the day to day movements of Les Moore. And also neither of you care about his travels.

  308. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Piranha Club — “Lips that touch a freakin’ cat shall never touch mine!”

    Heaven’s Love Thrift Shop — Wilson and Dag should’ve sold the kid’s mother a belt to go with those baggy pants!

    Edge City — One of Abby’s fantasies apparently involves the happily(?) married mother of two imbibing wine with Mandrake the Magician!

  309. Aviatrix
    January 9th, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#302): I always ask this, not in an attempt to torture you with your fears or even to lecture you specifically on them, but just to know what people don’t like about air travel: what specifically disconcerts you and what are you irrationally certain will happen? People lecture airphobes on Bernoulli because there are people whose fear stems from a subconscious belief that the airplane is held up by pure faith and magic, which may let go any second. Sometimes once they understand that airplanes are held aloft by the same principles of the universe that make many things that are not airplanes fall down, they are happier. Pilots wear nicely pressed shirts and all those stripes and decorations because some people are afraid that the pilots need to be very special and important to fly the plane safely, and the get-up apparently makes us look special and important. (Except me, I wear greasy t-shirts with slogans on them like “trust me, I do this all the time.”)

  310. dale
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    PV

    The structure that Gawain is tapping on (panel 3 of 4 in the paper version I see) isn’t in the first two panels.
    The beam he’s tapping on doesn’t provide any real support, certainly not vertically.

    The real question: Why did he have to use his dagger instead of his knuckles?
    Easier, stay standing and kick the thing.

  311. dale
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    Bernoulli may hold you up, but everybody knows that he will also drag you out of the nearest pinhole. You can learn a lot from TV and movies. Someday I’m going to pay a stranger to buy one of those checkout-line magazines for me.

  312. bats :[
    January 9th, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    <a href= @Anonymous (#303): nope, not offended at all. If anything, just a wee bit concerned about your mental state of mind ;)

  313. Ukulele Ike
    January 9th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#301): Well, it’s Adrian and Scott’s honeymoon night. What better time to give into bass desires?

  314. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 10th, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Seems only natural.

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