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Metapost: Oh, those comments, those comments of the week!

Here it is, kids: Your top comment!

“I don’t know what kind of horror has caused Dolly and Jeffy to flee in haste from the Keane ranchette, but not only, as others have mentioned, has Jeffy tied something non-hat like on his head (the arm protector from the La-Z-Boy?) but Dolly has put her stirrup pants on over her shoes. That’s right, Dolly — the tree keeps its clothes at all times on so it can make a quick escape when its mommy starts screaming out bible scripture and chasing the kids around with a hairbrush and a vacuum hose.” –Mustang

And your runners up! Very funny!

“So this is the meth lab Paul’s so proud of? Be careful Lu Ann, those chemicals will straighten your hair.” –zenvelo

“After reading Shoe, I started to make a list of things that are really important that you don’t see people doing on TV. I won’t bore you with the whole list. But masturbating made the cut. Reading Shoe did not.” –Esther Blodgett

“‘Rely on batteries or electricity?’ Good Lord, what else did her husband give her other than those swans on their marriage night? She might have gotten an electric shock from which she’s never recovered. I’m surprised the doc hasn’t prescribed lotion.” –Dingo

“Kelly is Cherry’s evil twin sister. Mark tolerates her because he can’t tell them apart.” –gnome de blog

“How can Jeff fail to comprehend that Mary would be daunted by this new technology? As has been amply demonstrated this week, our venerable heroine continues to find the intricacies of operating a coffee cup almost hopelessly bewildering.” –Violet

“The obvious subtext of every Pluggers is always, ‘Pluggers honestly don’t give a fuck if they live or die,’ but today’s installment is a little on-the-nose.” –Doctor Handsome

“Nothing says ‘I’m not afraid’ like placing your coffee cup in a defensive position between your heart and what you fear most: a future beyond the control of Mary Worth.” –VochoCinco

“OK, so that’s clearly not a plugger, because when the hell did pluggers start using fancy-Dan cable boxes and big-time-Charlie remote boxes? Pluggers use rabbit ears and believe that remote controls shoot lasers that could take out an eye. Fucking frauds.” –DownWithOPP

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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268 responses to “Metapost: Oh, those comments, those comments of the week!”

  1. Maggie the Cat
    January 28th, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    Congrats y’all :-)

  2. Red Greenback
    January 28th, 2011 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Nice crop! Here, have some Naked Jeffy

  3. Esther Blodgett
    January 28th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    I may faint! Congrats to all, and believe me, there were many, many other comments that made me laugh out loud in addition to the ones Josh picked!

  4. nancy
    January 28th, 2011 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    My favorite comment (ok, I didn’t read them ALL):

    January 27th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    MW: Poor Mary! EVERYONE knows that feeling the Real Thing in your hands is way better than any battery-operated device. But then again, when faced with the alternative of having to entertain and interact with someone as scintillating as Dr. Jeff… oh, for God’s sake, take the device, Mary! TAKE THE DEVICE!

  5. MadMatt
    January 28th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    DownWithOPP: so, a plugger poseur

  6. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 28th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all!

  7. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    You guys were so hilarious this week that I cannot bear to see some of the funniest (to me) comments go unhonoured. Here’s the rest of the parade.

    These are dressed as Bora Bora traditional dancers, and riding on a float shaped just like Jeff’s e-reader. Yes, it changes shape, size and colour every time you look at it.

    Maybe if we’re lucky, a thinly disguised (because it wouldn’t take much of a disguise to fool these two nimrods) Ted Confey will sell the newlyweds a non-existent timeshare at Heaven’s Orchard Resort & Pet Cemetery. -bourbon babe, unbuckled

    You gotta love the artists who draw Mary Worth, who will lovingly render every slat of vertical blinds, but not realize that a Kindle is just a wee bit thinner than your average cinder block. -Patrick

    Mary awkwardly raises her arm to allow her right breast to migrate around to her back like the eye of a mackerel. Her subsequent look of severe discomfiture, as she ponders whether her left will shortly join it and at least restore some sort of slapdash bilateral symmetry, is one for the archives. -Écureuil Écumant

    Where does Dr. Jeff get those fancy shirt-matching coral-orange undershirts? And, might I make so bold as to enquire, what scene is he getting into which gave him a desire to obtain a fancy shirt-matching coral-orange undershirt? -odinthor

    Is this going to lead to some six-week story about how a friend of Dr. Jeff hates Kindles, but Mary Worth finds out it was just because of some traumatic event on his past where a Kindle moderately hurt him, and carefully meddles him back into the mainstream world of Kindle users? I knew it. -Zaratustra

    I would have predicted this week’s “Mary doesn’t buy a Kindle” cliffhanger sets up next week’s pulse-pounding “Mary goes to the Library” action. But I’ve learned my lesson: “Never, ever attempt to out-lame Mary Worth.” -Uncle Lumpy

    “…Now excuse me why I fondle my book, which was printed on a Gutenberg press, by the light of this hand-crafted tallow candle, which I lit with an piece of kindling Turlok the Fire-keeper gave me.” -Mr. Goboto

    The second float is of a generic, indiscernible shape, and covered with diamonds. It is also moving very slowly.

    Perhaps Hagar is under arrest for NOT raping and pillaging? Who knows. -Tripp Carter

    Okay, so in essence, Mole Man takes Aunt May down below and then back up to the surface, with a preempted wedding in the middle and a bunch of fights interspersed.


    I hate to say it, but that more action in the same time period as Mark Trail and more logical plot line than 9CL. -Little Guy

    How can a guy in Apartment 3-G be “mysterious”? Is Lu Ann grasping for any word that means “owns a pickup truck”? -Chip Whittle

    A3G: Who says things happen slow in this strip? In panel one they are talking about an undeveloped lot and by panel two there is a house sitting on it. -zerowolf

    Mark Trail: This whole substory is playing out like an extended, boring, titty-free Three’s Company episode. -Baka Gaijin

    Not sure which is the more annoying side effect of 9/11, the increased airport security or thousands of repeated jokes about airport security. -Rob

    The next float is covered in wet gunny sacks and chains, and is pulled by a severely water-damaged late-1970s model American car.

    DT – the current arc recapped:
    Weeks 1- 3: Chief explains that Dick must transport Mordred because the FBI wants him to and it can only be done by Dick, all alone.
    Weeks 4 – 6: Entire cast discusses the fact that it’s raining a lot.
    Weeks 7 – 11: Dick stands around, then drives around with Mordred, encountering various obstacles.
    Weeks 12 – 13: Dick drives into a flooded road where the water turns out to be 30 feet deep.
    Weeks 14 – 17: Mordred: “I’ll kill you.” Dick: “No you won’t.”
    Weeks 18 – ?? They enter the granary. Mordred: “Take my chains off.” Dick: “No.” Mordred: “aww, PLEEEEZE?”
    - wossname

    I’m pretty sure the doc’s safeword is actually the safephrase “I’m gonna kill you, Tracy”, but Dick just keeps ignoring it, the sadistic bastard. -Jim North

    There’s one more float in the parade. Drawn by a camel, it looks like it might consist of older floats badly nailed together and covered in sand.

    I wish Crock and Slylock Fox would have a crossover. Accustomed as he is to solving cases based on noticeable irregularities in the background art, Slylock would survive for about five seconds in the Crock-verse before his fucking head exploded like that guy at the beginning of Scanners. -Doctor Handsome

    What do you get the man who has everything? Apparently, an orange crate he can shove up his ass. -Artist formerly known as Ben

    If my first thought each morning were, “I’ve got to draw Crock again today”, the bourbon would be no further than the bedside table. -Uncle Lumpy

    More admiration from me to Josh, for his ability to cull these gems while laughing.

  8. Esther Blodgett
    January 28th, 2011 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Aw, the guys on the camel-drawn float look like they’re having all the fun! The camel itself isn’t looking so good…

  9. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Way to go Mustang and your League of Extraordinary Snarkers!
    And those Aviatrix picks! If you’re not on the float, at least you’re driving it!

    Oh, and @Jamus The Bartender (Y#221):. Be Proud!

  10. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    Did you know there’s comic about bats :[‘s husband?

  11. bats :[
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#10): the resemblance is uncanny. Particularly first thing in the morning.

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#10):

    I remember Man-Bat as a Batman character from the 1970s. He was a normal human who was able to transform himself into a batlike creature. I also remember a Spider-Man character from about the same time called Man-Wolf. He was a normal human (the son of J. Jonah Jameson as it turns out) who was able to transform himself into a wolflike creature.

    So why isn’t Mandrake about a normal human who’s able to transform himself into a ducklike creature?

  13. KarMann
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): Because it says right there in the rules: We can’t talk about The Duck.

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 28th, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#13): HAR!!!

    well played!

  15. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#11): Before or after the transformation?

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): A “drake” is also a cannon used in the 17th and 18th centuries. So it could also be a man who shoots his mouth off. Wait, we already have that. It’s called Crankshaft.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Brother! — Bud just got punked puked!

    (It’s been a week filled with guffaws and chuckles… thanks to Mustang et al.)

  17. Comcis Fan
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to the winners!

    Here’s what I want to know. Does anyone read Mary Worth unironically, unsnarkily, as I assume it is presented? I don’t mean anyone here, I mean anyone period. I mean, are there people sitting on the edge of their sits wondering what will happen next in the Kindle conversation, not because it’s hilarious, rather because they are curious?

  18. Comcis Fan
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:33 pm [Reply]


  19. odinthor
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#7): Thanks, Aviatrix! And I think the Bora Bora look rather suits me.

  20. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#17): Ever heard of Pluggers?

  21. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    It’s great to see Dingo up there on that float. Yessir. Dingo’s back.

  22. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#17): There was a thread a few days ago with someone in direct conversation with Karen Moy, who said she got lots of positive fan mail. Unless there are people whose ironic appreciation wraps so far around that they write sweet little letters about Mary as a beacon of hope for our time, I’d say that real people honestly like Mary Worth.

  23. Scott Bot
    January 28th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#17): Not MW, but I’m kind of ashamed to admit that I read Gil Thorp this way.

  24. odinthor
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    y#25. boojum.

    MW: This entire story arc neatly defines what I loathe about Mary Worth — well, that and the migraine-inducing “art.” It’s not only boring, but boring about non-issues. [...] This whole thing, like most MW plots, smacks of the querulousness that is, in fact, only sometimes found among the elderly.[...]

    In mild rant mode: I quite agree with you about it being essentially a non-issue in and of itself. Unfortunately—and this also addresses current #17 Comcis Fan—I’m finding the situation in MW interesting because, aside from the merits or lack of same of Kindle and such, there are indeed many technologically-minded folk who have a proselytizing air of “I know the Truth, and you don’t” when it comes to pushing the latest technology. They don’t accept any possibility that one has personally looked into the situation and rejected some particular product because it has been found needless or lacking—oh, no!—they can only conceive that the rejection has arisen from your pathological fear or hatred of technology, and that it is their special and urgent mission to save you, to redeem your soul, to lead you to everlasting life by forcing you to adopt unquestioningly all forms of the latest technology by argumentation, or, if that does not work, by derision. I wish the members of the Evangelical Church of Technology happiness in their existence; but its members need to remember that urging their issues of The Tech Watchtower on non-members will often fail to be met with the pleasure they might have anticipated.

  25. Not Worth It
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    Luann – How is it that, with a group of perceptive folks like the ones here, no one has yet pointed out that Goth Chick has told her date, “We’re 180 opposites”? Two opposites aren’t enough for her; I guess each of her 90 multiple personalities has a corresponding equal and opposite personality in him. Unless…. is it possible that that “0″ is really a degree sign, and she’s saying “We’re 18 degree opposites”? In which case, they’re actually pretty similar but since he’s failed math repeatedly he probably has no idea.

  26. This Guy
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#24): It’s interesting you should mention that, because I do indeed have a qualm about e-readers that has no basis in a blanket hatred of technology. It’s about public libraries. Specifically, while many libraries, including my own, have programs to lend e-books, these programs are nowhere near so convenient as the library’s traditional books. Here, at least, you can check out e-books, but of course a) there aren’t yet as many titles as the dead-tree collection, and b) the whole thing is drowning in a sea of draconian DRM and poorly-made proprietary applications and formats. Yes, the whole concept of a lending library necessitates lending, not giving, but it seems they haven’t figured out yet how to make that as straightforward as picking out a print book, checking it out, and returning it after 3, 6, or 9 weeks under threat of a small fine.

    Yes, if I converted all the books I own–even just all the fiction–into e-books, I’d save on storage space and I could easily take the whole collection with me most anywhere. But my main source of books, borrowing from the library, would change from a straightforward, easy process into a nightmarish clusterfuck of bad software. I can’t afford to buy new books, except in a very few cases, so until and unless the process of borrowing e-books becomes as easy and hassle-free as borrowing print books, they can count me out. (*)

  27. VochoCinco
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#17): I think Mary Worth provides a nice break from the drama that many have in their daily lives. She is consistent. Actually, Mary Worth is the platonic ideal of consistent, the absolute value of consistent, consistent to the power of 10, etc. I have found her consistency comforting in my four decades of reading comments. I admit it.

  28. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    I can’t help but imagine that the Burgess Meredith character in the Twilight Zone episode who broke his glasses would surely have enjoyed an audio ebook or two or a hundred.

  29. Buchholz Surfer
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Random Lines From Today’s Funnies:

    Hi ol’ pal. You’re a capable man, Tracy. Then the man said please, just go. I’ll get you to the nearest hospital. Why don’t you go home? Suit yourself… your Luddite self. Snarl. OH IT’S ON! I’m not afraid! I’m tired of all the fighting and foul language. So? What’s your point?! Seems undoable, frankly. I don’t need electronic gadgets to have communication problems. Put it up to your ear and listen. Why do we have to learn like this? Relax, I’ve called my husband. What other option is there, Paul? The truth is boring, man.

  30. AndyL
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    That’s not a cable box. It’s one of them digital converter thingamabobbers what-all the guvm’nt is forcing us to use like we’s all some sort of criminals just for wanting to watch our shows on the TV with a proper antenna like our parents use’d to when they’d come home from a long day at the plant back before them city slicker bankers closed the whole works down and gave all our jobs to them forr’n’rs just like they says on the Fox news what-all I can’t see no-more unless I shell out my hard earned money for a converter box!

  31. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#19): Oooh did I ever luck out. I confess that I did not research the traditional costume of Bora Bora dancers. I simply assumed that there was one, that it was not a fursuit, and that the typical CC-commentator would look stunning in it.

  32. Poteet
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    All hail Mustang, and congratulations to you other float denizens! And more huzzahs for the assorted float riders of the Aviatrix parade! Thanks for all the funny.

  33. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    Regarding the ad for Stick Figure Hamlet. I noticed when I went to its site on Amazon that it is available on Kindle. I plan to read it, but Mary is really going to miss out.

  34. CanuckDownSouth
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    … and DT is the next to fall victim to Grisham-itis, the delusion that the pinnacle of achievement is to write a novel – something which will bring fame and riches, rather than being jumbled forgettably on bookstore and library shelves with a zillion others.

    This case is at least understandable, as the most cliche, paint-by-numbers, tell-don’t-show novel would be a marvel beyond comprehension compared to the Tracyverse narrative.

  35. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#26):

    The thing about wandering the stacks is that you’ll find something more interesting than what you were looking for. Also, there’s a big difference between dropping a book in the tub and getting a Kindle or an iPad wet. Unless, of course, you’re reading a certain first edition Ernest Hemingway novel that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote notes.

  36. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    Hail to ALL the float riders! And welcome back, Dingo!

    And for the funniest comic strip of the week, see Friday’s Dilbert. Friday’s Dilbert.

    Bittersweetest is Family Tree.

    And Doonesbuy for creating best snark by a comic strip. Unfortunately, the topic wrote itself.

    Also in Friday’s strips, Janis does what Mary will never, ever do.

  37. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    That’s Friday’s Family Tree. I’m not making any promises about Saturday’s.


    Mary, Mary, Mary. You can dish it up, but you can’t take meddling, can you?

    And in Rex Morgan, I’m looking forward to the return of Cue, the alley muggers and the Dumpster Guy to return. And maybe the guy who painted the garage and Bryn or whatever her name was. After all, if Berna’s going to go around bragging about winning the lottery, why not share?

  38. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    Aw, nothing like being the last one on the board when it’s almost Friday’s midnight. Sweet dream, all!

  39. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:40 am [Reply]

    Friday’s Dilbert: Scott Adams must have flown through Rome Fiumicino Airport. Man, the concept of “personal space” just doesn’t exist there.

    @Aviatrix (#7): Thanks for the recognition. It’s not so bad being on the “shadow float.” No one expects us to through candy.

  40. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Year after year, why do Pluggers knowingly let their children on the furniture during moulting season? Do they never learn?

  41. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: That fistful of pink pills and fifth of vodka did its job. No amount of Jeffy-administered mouth-to-mouth will revive Daddy now.

  42. Mr. O'Malley
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    BC seems to have crossed a new boundary.

  43. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Either one of two things has happened to LuAnn in the last panel: A thought went through her head and caused a strange feeling or she’s the victim of a drive-by prostate exam.

  44. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:24 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Mary, you can call that thing on the desk a “computer” all you want but it’s really a funky fish tank from 1974. The fish would appreciate some water, please.

  45. Black Drazon
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    Oh goodness, what wonderful floaters.

  46. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: If Mark wasn’t an unfeeling plastic mannequin, panel 3 would be the prelude to some angry, post-argument wild sex.

  47. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: “Peace” and “Quiet” are Lucas Ebenezer Hinks’ cell mates’ nicknames. They’re not screamers.

  48. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    Archie: Veronica, Passive-aggressive does not work like that.

  49. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    Heart of the City: I will NOT Google up “Plop Magazine.” The fetishist implications are too great and disgusting to the Baka.

  50. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    Red and Rover: Pandering to the “Plop Magazine” demographic.

  51. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    Zits: Jeremy, you may want to stay clear of Tampa for a while. Just sayin’. WARNING: Gallows humor.

  52. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: MJ, what the fuck? Are you trying for the “LuAnn Powers Award for Slow-wittedness?”

  53. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    Luann: Laurel and Hardy are “existential.” What a pretentious beefwit.

  54. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:01 am [Reply]

    Garfield: That TV is so meta.

  55. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:16 am [Reply]

    Blondie: For all of us who thought Dagwood had a ridiculous, stupid-looking hair style, check out his ‘do today.

    Hagar the Horrible: Uh, Angry Bitch with Tubular Brown Food, Hagar can’t come to the table because his ass is full of arrows.

    Mutts: Earl looks like he’s going to hork up a hairball in the last panel.

    Oh, Brother!: Preview of Marvin in a few years [*]

    Over the Hedge: Uh oh, the extra-appendage gremlins that attacked Dolly yesterday got to RJ today. He’s is carrying his now-furry tail (it went bald two strips ago) yet has a bushy tail hanging off his ass.

  56. Doctor Handsome
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    I’m in awe of Mustang’s masterful deconstruction of a particularly baffling Family Circus. It’s like the Mr. Plinkett reviews of the Star Wars prequels. Bravo.

  57. Ned Ryerson
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh no, Paul has mistaken Lu Ann for Bob Vila!

  58. Bill Thompson
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Luann: I was going to say “Wow, Evans doesn’t know anything about goths, does he?” But then I realized he doesn’t know anything about humans, period. Which everyone knows already.

  59. Ned Ryerson
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m sorry Mary, but that’s an ant farm, not a computer.

  60. Mordock999
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Today’s – Luann 01/29/11

    Knute – “Do you like Heavy Metal?”

    Crystal – “No.”

    Knute – “Do you like comic books?”

    Crystal – “No.”

    Knute – “Do you like Sci-Fi?”

    Crystal – “No.”

    Knute – “Do you like ZANE?”

    Crystal – “YES! I mean….,”

    Knute – “A-Ha! Its true then! I heard about your little ‘Flirt-Fess’ with him at Boderland Books! Tell me: Did you make HIM jump thru hoops like You do ME?”

    Crystal – “I DIDN’T have to! Zane’s Level-headed and MATURE! Not to mention CUDDLY-CUTE! UN-LIKE You!!”

    Knute – “Uh – Huh. Sooo, how DID Your little ‘Fling-with-Zane’ turn out?”

    Crystal – “I DON’T have to Answer THAT!”

    Knute – “Crystal?”

    Crystal – “(Sigh) He Ignored My advances, REFUSED to accept My phone number and later left town never to be seen again! THERE! You HAPPY Now?!”

    Knute – “Yep, and I REST My case! So, we’ll Go to see the ‘Mechanic’ followed by the dollar menu at McDonald’s, YOU buying! I’ll pick You up at 8!”

    Crystal – “Oh…., ALRIGHT!”

    DOWN with TJ!!!

  61. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Holy Molé — “May they be like a slug that melts away as it moves along, like a stillborn child that never sees the sun.” (Psalm 58:8*)

    Today’s strip conjures up a Daliesque vision… which is just the way I like ‘em!

    *New International Version

  62. Scott Bot
    January 29th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    DT – Dick’s lame puns should give you a clue as to what kind of novel he’s capable of writing, Doctor. I think you’re safe in assuming that Dick writing the Great American Novel isn’t gonna happen anytime soon.

    Luann – Ok, this girl has a brilliant career ahead of her as a film school professor…

    MW – Aw, c’mon, Mary, give it a try. After all, there can’t be that many Coleco Electronic Quarterback games that still work after all these years.

    Pluggers – ‘Dammit, Honey, how many times do I have to tell you not to let the kids play on the furniture!’

  63. Amateur
    January 29th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    MW: “I have a cell phone! And a picture of Marilyn Monroe on my bookcase!”

  64. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    CdS: y’got a point there, Petey. Still, this place runs on the concept, so it’s all good.

    Lio: there’s gonna be a breakout, somewhere on the page.

    NAoQV: Schroeder would agree.

    9CL: I’ll be in my bunk. Hyperventilating.

    AD: *jaw drops*

    Blondie: if this had only run on the same day as Lio’s hairstyling strip.

    F-, PMP: o MAN! That’s bleak. has Ces been guest writing these?

    HotC: this is amazingly close to a ‘Mudge post from a few days back. *amuzed*

    JP: the card has the cell number for Angel’s Rasta ghanj connection, he knows that these two tighty whiteys will need the help in “hanging loose.”

    Jumble: guest-starring the Mudlarks.

    Luann: well, this is another fine mess Evans has gotten us into! [*]

    Lockhorns. I laughed. That’s actually a reasonably funny and clever barb. Please shoot me.

    Love Is. . . . about wood. again.

    RwO: the “with benefits” ride is more fun.

    SF: GO JOE! (I love this strip.)

    6C: for a Twitter joke, not so bad.

  65. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    A3G: I can understand Lu Ann’s reaction to generic Aryan blond guy Paul’s “want you to see it” statement. The only other time she hears that is the prelude to Margo beating her with a heavy blunt object.

  66. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FC: Poor Jeffy, the family didn’t love him enough to let him join in the suicide pact.

  67. gleeb
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    A 3-G: He’s planning on asking Norm Abrams to move in with him, and he wants an outside opinion on whether it might work.

    Curtis: He’s going to build a golem?

    Edge City: Or you could have him kidnapped, sent to Syria, and tortured by experts. Only way to be sure.

    ‘bean: I’d like to point out that in none of these panels is it clear that the band director has only one arm. Batiuk’s slipping.

    Alan Parker, Ball of Nerves!: “‘Hang loose’? Can’t he see I’m already not wearing a necktie?”

    Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: Bang! They’ve run succinct rings around Gasoline Alley!

    Lottery Comix: No, Becka, she’s going to be stoned to death.

    Mary Jane, Shallowest Woman on Earth: MJ is shocked that unattractive people have emotions, too.

    And I’d just like to add that it’s annoying for a web page to reload itself and give a message like “page temporarily unavailable”. OK, all it did was prevent me from reading Zippy, but it’s the principle.

  68. John C Fremont
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#44): @Ned Ryerson (#59): I’m going with Etch-a-Sketch, guys.

    @Baka Gaijin (#49): Oh, you kids today with your reading devices and your having no memory of Plop! magazine. (You have to include the exclamation point, don’t you know.) It was actually pretty good, and probably a disappointment to fetishists of all stripes.

    MW – Maybe Jeff meant to call her a “Lucite.” She has a sort of “Caen Stone” look about her.

    Hey, what happened to her lampshade? Was there a fire?

    Phantom – I like the guy angrily enjoying his popcorn.

    “‘Something’ has a name. And that name, besides ‘Something,’ is ‘The Phantom’”

    I meant to mention Tom the Dancing Bug yesterday. “Darthfield” made me laugh, although Garfield seems more of a Chad Vader.

    JP – Angel, no! Don’t leave us alone with – with these two!

  69. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MT: Come on Cherry, think about it. If Mark has never had sex with you in all the years you’ve been married, what makes you think he’s going to suddenly have sex with Kelly?

  70. Mibbitmaker
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64):

    re: HotC: Yeah, mine. I didn’t think to add Plop!, actually a comic book from the mid-’70s that was notable for Basil Wolverton covers (later, Wolverton-like creatures drawn distinctively by Wally Wood), and being more a horror/humor anthology than straight-up parodies and satire. Sergio Aragones did connecting material between stories.

    re: 6C: There was a joke?

  71. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD: No Bekka, the other Lottery ala the Slider’s episode, “Luck of the Draw” except we won’t get that lucky.

  72. terrapin
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

  73. Mibbitmaker
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    A3G: The MONSTER!!!

    Lockhorny: Her friend there is Justice Sotomayor???

    MT: Cherry Trail, Woman of Trust!

    MW: Checkmate, cyberbullyboy! (now, pleeeease, an ACTUAL story now…?)

    S-M: Well, we can’t have any of that!

  74. Maggie the Cat
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    RMMD- I’m amused June’s “oh no she didunt!” look. Berna probably should’ve kept a lid on it, though… it’s just a matter of minutes now before everyone on PACEBOOK knows about her good fortune.

    A3G- So that thought bubble over LuAnn’s head tells me that she does think. I didn’t know she could do that.

    MW- Wow, this e-book reading device story has absolutely consumed me. Will she? Or won’t she?

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — I like that ‘Barry Fitzgerald’ neatly sidesteps Lt. Flap’s question. If Flap was asking if BF ever had a two-way conversation with ‘God’ (Mort Walker), then the correct answer would be “no”.

    For you see, BF, like yourself, is a non-sentient blob of ink! Worse, a non-sentient blob of ink who doesn’t have any discernible ear holes with which to hear. And BF’s texts to his Creator aren’t likely to elicit a response, either — Mort Walker, like most 80-somethings, hasn’t kept up with the latest technology!

  76. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    AD – I came this close to outright chuckling over something with the family guy in it.

    Dick – That sinister face… it’s a trap! RUN, YOU TWO! GET OUT OF THERE! YOU’RE TRAPPED IN GRANARY-FACE!!

  77. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Smirky – Good thing Mom showed up, or he was going to have to play on his hands.

    Marmaduke – “Yes, Marm. It has a roof. Sheesh.”

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Mary – “I’m not a luddite, Jeff! I’m 2/3 machine myself! I just don’t like how the reader’s magnetic field makes the sensors in my hand tingle.”

    R=R – Okay, that’s one way to warm up the pool, but peeing in the water — let alone from sitting on the edge — is just plain disgusting.

  79. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]


    Zippy – Griffy’s just flaunting how much more he knows about current pop than I do now.

  80. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#26): My reader is a source, mostly of ‘additional’ books. I still read a lot in paper because that’s what used book stores have. What I fill the reader with includes a lot of items from Project Gutenberg,, Google Books, and other online free sources, as well as “Less Wrong”‘s ongoing Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality and things I wrote myself. I’ve found that books I pay for, even some of the free ones offered by pay sources, are infected with DRM that made them all unreadable when my Sony’s reader software got flakey. I use Calibre now, and have re-acquired all the lost titles (which were PD items) from other sources. Medieval chronicles, the works of Chaucer, Marlowe, Shakespeare (in original spelling), H.G. Welles, Kipling, Poe, Twain, and many more are all easily available and backed up on my computer for handy backup if anything should happen — or I can just read them on the computer. Anyway, that’s what I do, and I don’t care if anybody else does or not.

    @Baka Gaijin (#49): Another old Plop! reader here. Wood did some great stuff for it.

  81. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

  82. Joe Blevins
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Today, Zombified Ziggy has the tables turned on him. And he’s sitting at an actual table at the time!

  83. Jim North
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#7): Hey, a ride on the alt float! Not too shabby!

    Archie: Faced with the strange and mysterious ways of the modern woman, Archie’s only defense in the third panel is to devolve back to man’s prehistoric roots. Soon he will be swinging from branches, eating leaves, and trying to pick insects out of his fellow students’ hair. So really, not much will change.

    FC: ARGHDAMMIT! Really, Family Circus? Isn’t life horrible enough that you’ve got to make comics about Jeffy trying to make out with his sleeping dad? Come on!

    FW: It can’t possibly be that things worked out, so I’m just gonna assume that the spit valve hadn’t been emptied out from the trumpet’s last use, which will almost lead to some sort of embarassment/disgust/cancer later on.

    And that’s as far as I got before the Chron decided to Chrap out on me. SAD FACE

  84. Jim North
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    “which will almost certainly lead to”

    See how distressed I am? I’m missing whole words!

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]


    more pupsquee. (black lab pup, ’nuff said.)

    Memetic Mutation at its finest. *paroxysms of glee*

    life is about choices.

    epic happy.

    hovercorgi now with sweater.

  86. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#80):

    Reading on the computer is a lot easier than trying to stuff a Kindle in one’s pocket, or dragging around type on a smart phone.

  87. Esther Blodgett
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]


  88. Chip Whittle
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#7):
    I want to thank you for the placement on the Shadow Float. Really, it’s an honor just to be considered.

  89. Jim North
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    MT: Oh! She was so close to just turning around and backing out, but the Jack Elrod ball compelled her!

    MW: “Then why not an e-book reader, too?” “Because, Jeff, it may have taken me a while but I finally hit the techno-wall! I reached that point that everyone eventually reaches in their life when the ability to assimilate and accept new things is no longer possible, like trying to put more water in a glass that’s already full to the top! I mean hell, look at my computer! It’s got a CRT monitor and it’s still running WinXP! In Classic mode! If you really think I’m ready to take on anything post-Vista, buddy, then I’m afraid you’ve got another think coming!”

    SF: Hmm. Maybe having just a little popularity would be good for Hilary. Then she might have actually heard other people use the quite common expression “and knowing is half the battle”, which while originating from a cartoon of yesteryear has continued in popular use ever since, including being used as a punchline in various forms of media such as newspaper comic strips.

    S-M: It’s a shame that Mole Man’s kingdom can’t afford to install a decent ventilation system so as to avoid that pesky Spelunker’s Lung stuff. Yep, real damn shame.

    @Joe Blevins (#82): Hahaha, BRILLIANT!

  90. Wave Man
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Uh… wouldn’t all Pluggers’ furniture be fur-niture, since they are all animals?

  91. TheDiva
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to everyone on the float and on the alterna-float!

    9CL: I beg to differ…

    FW: Because they couldn’t have held the performance a few minutes, or let the soloist borrow another player’s instrument until his own was restored. And the band mom had to run through the auditorium, instead of slipping on from backstage. Because this is Funkytown, where even success must be painful and embarrassing. (On a technical note, do trumpets ever sit in the first row? In every concert band I’ve been in or seen, that’s where they put the woodwinds–usually flutes or clarinets.)

    Marvin: Luke knows the spawn of Satan when he sees it.

    MT: I’m used to random creatures and objects offering their opinion in Mark Trail, but this is the first time I’ve seen a speech balloon answer itself.

    MW: “I like what I like!” was probably the same justification Mary gave for decorating her living room with a mint green couch, pink curtains, teal walls, and a lonely naked Christmas tree in the corner. No wonder Dr. Jeff is questioning her taste.

    Pluggers hate it when pets shed on the chair. That’s the Plugger’s job, dammit!

  92. Calico
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Y #218 CJ – those old comics are fantastically deranged.
    I especially like this one – Uncle Whomever must be MT’s long-lost Canadian cousin.

  93. Ned Ryerson
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Consider this, Mary Worth:Is It Okay to be a Luddite?. You wanna bust a cap in Jeff’s Kindle, don’t you Mary?

  94. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    FW – I can’t get used to the new Becky character design. Is someone new drawing the strip??

  95. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#7): Thank you for the recognition, but in all fairness I’m not the only one who pointed out that undeveloped land does not have buildings on it.

  96. Jim North
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#94): I think Batiuk simply realized he was drawing Becky too attractive and decided to ugly her up a bit.

    Wherein “a bit” means “a whole hell of a lot”.

  97. Katzenjammer
    January 29th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    MT. Terrible how suspicious Cherry is. She hasn’t decided if she’ll be staying in Mark’s room? He’s done nothing to make her distrust him, but there she is, intruding when he’s on a case, possibly derailing his plan to bring Ben to justice.

  98. commodorejohn
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Ten bucks says he wants her head over the mantelpiece.

    A.D. – Psst, Guy Who I Think Is Supposed To Be Alley Oop, I’ll pay you large sums of money if you’ll take that mallet and splatter the guy behind you into a pile of chunky corpse paté.

    DT – I have a sinking feeling that I’ve died and my afterlife consists of watching Dick and Mordred bouncing infinitesimal variations of the same dialogue off each other, forever.

    FC – If I had hideous little melonheaded children that sat on my damn face in the morning, I wouldn’t be too eager to get up and face the day either. Actually, are we sure he’s even alive? Maybe he finally did himself in. That would explain the utter lack of a reaction.

    FW – No. Just no. How stupid do you have to be to start a concert with your lead trumpet player missing his instrument? (Also, in a shocking turn of events, the third panel is not framed so as to highlight Becky’s MISSING ARM HAVE WE MENTIONED THAT SHE LOST HER ARM YET.)

    JP – c’mon dixie julep dixie julep dixie julep dixie julep dixie julep dixie julep…

    MT – Oh I love Cherry’s look of sheer determination today. I bet that’s the same look she gets when she tries to get Mark to have sex with her. [*]

    MW – Uh, that appears to be less “a computer” and more “a monitor with no peripherals attached but which nevertheless displays a lovely rendition of the Windows XP ‘Bliss’ wallpaper.” Also, Jesus, Mary, think your computer chair is high enough? Do you share an apartment with the Hunchback of Notre Dame?

    Phantom – Next week: It happened!

    RMMD – “Actually no, the Shirley Jackson lottery. Got a rock at hand?”

    SF – This was inevitable, but that doesn’t make it not hilarious.

    SM – *sniff* aww…I think I’m gonna cry. OH WELL, BACK TO PETER PARKER AND HIS FUCKING TV.

  99. Calico
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Why is June so gobsmacked? She knew already. Maybe she’s having the first of what will be many, many hot flashes.

    Haha, Jeffy is cannabilizing his Father’s face!

    MT – Rage Against the Machine!

  100. But What Do I Know?
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Considerate — I’ve thought about this and the only remotely menacing action I can connect to this is Dennis stealing the sign from Mr. Wilson’s front door.

    MT — Why is Mark answering his own question out loud?

    MW — It’s simple, really. The cellphone and computer are meddling aids; an E book reader is not. Can we move on now?

  101. Pop Goes the Weasel
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    JP: I can’t believe that after a month of incessant build up about
    the man-eating, home-wrecking publicity agent now we’re NOT
    going to meet her???? Talk about Blue Balls!

  102. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#99): I think June’s supposed to be shocked because Becka is blabbing about her lottery win to the first person she sees after Rex said “I suggest we keep this to ourselves.” But it wasn’t clear whether Rex meant winning the lottery, or just consulting a financial advisor, and besides, they didn’t show Becka agreeing to it.

  103. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    GT— Lini may only be a novelty act, but he is a novelty act who can swish.

  104. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#103): *SNURK!*

    well played.

  105. zerowolf
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#91): The short answer to the trumpet question is that it depends on the ensemble. Generally speaking the “softer” instruments are up front with the more “powerful” instruments to the rear. If you put the trumpets in front of the flutes the audience would never be able to hear the flutes. However, if it’s an all brass/percussion ensemble you might put the trumpets up front so they aren’t over powered by the tuba and percussion instruments. In this case Batuik has the ensemble seated incorrectly for dramatic effect. He’d likely explain it away as “writing” though I call it too lazy to Google.

  106. Esther Blodgett
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’ll bet the Elrod ball has been whispering things in Cherry’s ear: “Mark seems distant lately, doesn’t he? Kelly’s quite attractive, don’t you think? Of course you can trust them together, I’m not suggesting you can’t, but…” Next it will start telling the pelicans that the other birds only pretend to like them.

  107. This Guy
    January 29th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    PMP: Maybe this ties in to Demetri Martin’s contention that it depends on what the glass is half-full of.

    SF: This would imply, though, that Ted is about my age, which is kinda weird. Isn’t Hilary around 12 or 13?

  108. Hibbleton
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    FC: My guess is that since he’s in a single bed, in a room we haven’t seen pictured before, and still wearing the pin striped suit he wore out last night, that daddy’s hung over and sleeping in the guest room. The next panel should show Jeffy covered in vomit.

  109. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#108): “The next panel should show Jeffy covered in vomit.” I would so pay a thousand Internet Bucks to see that!

  110. Cyranetta
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    MW — I’m beginning to see what might be the crux of this “storyline”. It should be subtitled “She Who Meddles Last, Meddles Longest” or something of the sort. Jeff has been valiantly attempting to meddle Mary with technology. Mary must have a master-meddle in mind as a counterplay which she will demonstrate Sunday…or a month from now…

  111. mollificent
    January 29th, 2011 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    BC: Wow. Yes, props to the BC team for a pretty damn good pop culture gamut there (Fred Flintstone to Peter Griffin). I never in a million years would’ve expected a Seth McFarlane character to grace the comics page in any strip besides (MAYBE) PBS.

    SF: Oh, God. I just said that to somebody yesterday (a twenty-something) and she did look at me like I’d grown an extra head. *hides face in shame*

  112. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    1/29 (& belated congrats to the float folks)

    EC: You idiot! You’re talking about parental controls, not spyware. Believe me, if the youngling is really surfing porn sites, you already have enough of the latter.

    MT: Cherry shouts all her innermost thoughts in the middle of a fishing camp. Knew that she and Mark had to be married for a reason.

    9CL: Um Edda, your snapper is hanging out of your t-shirt. Seth could be gay and stupid and still figure this one out.

    DT: How cute. Mordred actually thinks Dick can read.

    Phantom: “It’s like I said in that song. You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.”

    BB: Lt Flap is rightly alarmed. The padre is obviously losing his faith, and he won’t even have rudimentary intelligence to fall back on.

    FC: Bil, if you value your sanity and don’t want to suffer a fatal heart attack this morning, do not open your eyes.

    A3G: Paul’s said that he loves this house. Now come the questions from Lu Ann. Is he going to marry the house? Is the house Catholic, and if not is it willing to convert? How long will they wait before having children/tool sheds?

  113. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#107): The Forths, like pretty much all continuing fictional characters, were born whenever the writer needs them to have been born. But it’s definitely possible for someone who was a kid in the eighties to have a preteen child now.

  114. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#112): “How long will they wait before having children/tool sheds?” Early nominee for COTW here.

  115. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and beside the amusingly random Peter Griffin cameo in BC, I have to admit laughing at Garfield today as well. It’s like Jim Davis/nameless Paws Inc intern just remembered that Garfield is a cat, and there’s actual humor to be mined from feline behavior.

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#114): Gracias, Gaijin amigo.

  117. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    big feetz, lynx haz dem.

  118. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to the Primary-Float Riders! And ooh, I made it on to Aviatrix’s Auxiliary Float–yay! (But since it’s the Auxiliary, I can only throw Baby Ruths and Butterfingers, not the good stuff like Peanut M&Ms and Reese’s Cups.)

  119. This Guy
    January 29th, 2011 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Q: How do you get a trumpeter to play softly?
    A: Take away his instrument.

  120. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Don’t do it, Paul. A house like that is going to have all kinds of problems under the surface, and will be very high maintenance. Luann on the other hand is has pretty much nothing under the surface, but you will have to watch her around paint thinner.

  121. Dingo
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#36): Feels good. Mighty good.

  122. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    BB: I think the chaplain may have seen service in the same desert where Crock takes place. He appears to have contracted the random facial lump disease that gives Captain Preppy a testicle chin.

    Blondie: It’s almost fourth-wall breaking to see Dagwood at the barber. You’d think reader, writer and artist would all have to admit that his hairstyle makes no sense, but somehow we slide past it, intact.

    DT: Wait, what? They have a deal? Forty repetitions of the information on the weather and Mordred’s request and then the elide the negotiation that resulted in the situation changing? Or did Dick just buy the “I talk better with my hands untied” line. Is Mordred an Italian name?

    FW: It’s a good thing a trumpet player doesn’t need to warm up or tune his instrument or anything before an important solo.

    MT: Dear Mr. Elrod, Could you please colour code your characters so I know which one is Cherry and which one is Kelly?

    PBSHey, this is a comic that Stephan discussed online months ago. I had no idea he had such a long lead time.

    Phantom: I can’t remember before seeing a couple of evil minions kicking back to watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn and some beer. It’s kind of sweet, even if they do have the same cracked plaster decorating scheme as Wibur’s erstwhile frolicking pal.

  123. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#92): Great comics. I was startled by this sarcastic line in the commentary: Yeah, there are giant watch towers all through the forest staffed night and day with people whose only job is to watch. To watch YOU. Don’t American forests have firewatchers? Canada not only has incredibly remote towers staffed by individuals whose only job is to watch for and report forest fires, and whose only means of escape is by helicopter, but we have dozens of people in small airplanes surveying the forests for the same reason. Forests are valuable!

  124. TheDiva
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#105): That’s what I thought. Another reason why it’s called “writing” and not “research,” I guess.

  125. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2011 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    it should be pointed out that, unlike squirrels, Brookins can draw a basset hound.


  126. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#86): I don’t know about a Kindle. My wife has one, and the type looks better than my Sony pocket edition. But I do know that my Sony reader is in my back pack all the time and can go into my pants pocket or coat pocket or vest pocket, and my computer can go into my pack but makes it noticeably heavier.

  127. wossname
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Mustang and everyone on the official float! I’m very happy to be on Aviatrix’s Float # 3. I’ll be throwing tiny copies of Crimestoppers Textbook.

    @Ned Ryerson (#59):

    MW: I’m sorry Mary, but that’s an ant farm, not a computer.

    Ah, but if you read Terry Pratchett, you know that they’re essentially the same thing.

    And on a day where I didn’t start reading the morning comix until after 6 p.m., that’s all I have to say. Except that I’m relieved there are only 126 comments here, and not 500, so I’m all caught up now.

  128. terrapin
    January 29th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Aaaaaaaaand…I think I see a slight glimmer of…nope, she still doesn’t get it.

    HotC: Now I know why I like both of Tatulli’s strips. We read the same books growing up.

    MT: Can it finally be happening? I’ve always dreamed of a Cherry/Kelly catfight! Monday can’t come fast enough!

  129. Écureuil Écumant
    January 29th, 2011 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Wow, an Auxiliary Floater! My eyes are as big as mackerels’.

    Blondie: To paraphrase the jingle from my youth:

    “Sak-rete, a little hod’ll do ya –
    They’ll love to run their trowels through yer hair!”

  130. bats :[
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    And just because I wasn’t particularly inspired by the day’s comics, here’s another installment of the Josh-inspired talking ice cream sundae one.

  131. kkarenb
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#98):
    Re: FW – There is a very subtle hint to the missing arm – Becky is wearing her wedding ring on her right hand.

  132. commodorejohn
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#89): I mean hell, look at my computer! It’s got a CRT monitor and it’s still running WinXP! In Classic mode! If you really think I’m ready to take on anything post-Vista, buddy, then I’m afraid you’ve got another think coming!
    Hey, I resemble that remark! And I’m damn well doing it by choice!

  133. commodorejohn
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#131): Oh good. I was in danger of forgetting without a constant reminder every single time she appeared.

  134. ElkMeadow
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#92):

    Being out in the forest where no one knew who he was, and being killed by a grizzly
    bear is Emmett Cullen’s back story.

    @Aviatrix (#123):

    When I was a kid, my dad worked for the USDA-Forest Service. We would go up to various look-outs on Saturdays, sometimes Sundays and Dad would visit the lookout people while I worked hard on developing my fear of heights by climbing up and down the thin steel ladders. Later, I worked for the state forestry, and one of the lookouts had a ton of hummingbird feeders all around his place. There are plenty still around here, but it’s hard to get the job.

    I’m rather surprised at the comic book that preceded it: Nikola Tesla’s worst nightmare, in print!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#126):

    Watch out for toilet monsters. They always grab at the back pockets for whatever is electronic (and expensive to replace).

  135. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2011 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    The striking parallel between two current storylines has led me to believe it’s time for another installment of Mark Worth and Mary Trail!

  136. Pseudo3D
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Awful “camera” angles…

    DT: Clearly, in interrogation sessions, Tracy ALWAYS plays “bad cop”. Every time!

    Marvin: what?

    MW: “Yes, I have a computer…my Apple IIe I bought in 1982. See? I’m not a luddite.”

  137. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    How embarrassed should I be that the Mary Worth thread has me seriously researching the Kindle? This article suggests that if you want to fend off Jeff’s meddling e-reader evangelism, you can read books on your iPod with surprisingly little difficulty. I already have an iPod and it hasn’t yet been smashed, stolen or water damaged.

  138. bats :[
    January 29th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#135): Mark Worth: surreal and yet frighteningly logical!

  139. Jim North
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#132): Hey, I resemble that remark as well! It’s how I was able to capture the scene so vividly. ;)

  140. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#137): This article. I swear I previewed that. Now I’m doubly embarrassed.

  141. Poteet
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#123): We still watch for forest fires in the U.S., but reading that comic reminded me that a lot of public land managers have finally figured out that we shouldn’t try to put out every single fire. Doing that for several decades was a big boo-boo.

  142. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#134): I worked for the USDA Forest Service, too. 1979 to 1980, in a one-year minimum-wage art job. It was lots of fun, actually. I went to the station a few years after, and they were still using one of the displays I’d made. I’d be real surprised if it was still there now.

    Hm. Dang toilet monsters. Have they no decency?

    @Aviatrix (#137): I have books on my iPod, too. It required converting each one to dozens of 4k files because it’s one of the old-fashioned video models. Alas, looking at things on the screen runs the battery down faster than a kid can drink a Slurpee, so there’s not much point in firing it up for any serious reading — so I keep things on that I can dip into and out of, like Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary, and Roger’s Profanisaurus and The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Oh, and Spoon River Anthology.

  143. Buchholz Surfer
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Random Lines From Today’s Funnies:

    Do you like comic books? Oh, laugh it up. Oh c’mon, don’t take yourself so seriously. I can’t stand it any longer! I can’t stand it! I suspect you have other motives. Bubba! Stop that!! You’re making my life a nightmare! I’m falling in love with this old house. We’re being evicted. And knowing is half the battle! KAK! PTOO! Get real, Parker. I have absolute faith he will return successful. Relax, nothing will go wrong. Do you like poetry? NO, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON! Because I like what I like! I’m just a novelty act. And who is Vampire Weekend? I will… miss you… Melvin.

  144. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean — Confidentially, I hope Buddy takes a crap in Funky’s fedora!

  145. Sequitur
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Someone tell Baka Gaijin it’s over

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Bizarro — “After sustaining a McFlurry of punches to his upper body, Mister McDonald was finally brought down by a single kick to his Chicken McNuggets!”

  147. Jason1981
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Yeah, you guys are doing a GREAT job keeping that jackpot a secret, since Ms “I won’t lose THIS fortune!” just blabbed about it. The secret’s being kept about as well as Spidey’s secret i.d. was in the movies.

    FW: “And while you’re at it, Buddy, bring me a beer and make me a sandwich!”

    ” *sigh* That used to be MY job….”

  148. Comcis Fan
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:34 am [Reply]


    MW: “Jeff and Mary Disagree on Reading Methods.” This may be T-shirt worthy. Obviously a BIG storyline is coming up. What we have here is a palate-cleanser between the drunken ravings of Jill Black at a rehearsal dinner (and a wedding night we didn’t see) and some other riveting tale of love and female alcoholic sorrow-drowning.

  149. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#95): Maybe so, but you made me laugh the hardest.

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Prince Valiant — Writer Mark Schultz has managed to rework a classic Fritz Lieber story* to good effect. There’s even a touch of Ray Bradbury** in the “Something Wicked” teaser for next Sunday!

    *Conjure Wife
    **One of Bradbury’s novels is called Something Wicked This Way Comes

  151. Mibbitmaker
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    Sunday MW: How dare you make sense, Mary?! (well, except for the bookshelf fetishizing in panel 2. It’s utilitarian! Who cares?) Go back to obnoxious know-it-alling, y’ old biddy-body!

  152. ElkMeadow
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    It looks to me as if this whole Kindle thing is the second strike in the Jeff and Mary relationship. She refused to go to Viet Nam with him, and now she won’t even go out of her way to pick up the Kindle. She gave up the dog that gave him alergies only because the owner was looking for it. Mary, Mary, Mary, Jeff’s been the giver and you’ve been the taker. Time to cut loose.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#150):

    I agree. I also think that Aleta isn’t telling all she knows, either. However, she’s from the Greek isles, so her craft might not be as compatible with the British Isles. Better call her daughter Karen (who lives somewhere in the more magical parts of the neighborhood) back from the Land of the Chucky Cunninghams.

  153. ElkMeadow
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    A couple more thoughts about Prince Valiant . Never, ever interrupt a witch or someone practicing the craft halfway through a spell casting. And don’t grab your wife roughly, especially if you know she’s magical.

  154. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:40 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: From the look on her face, something traumatic has happened to LuAnn in the last panel: A thought went through her head and caused a strange hurty feeling.

  155. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: The Pentagon brass sends missives through the cappuccino machine? I hope they sprung for the encryption filter basket. Wikileaks loves unencrypted missives.

  156. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:05 am [Reply]

    Bizarro: Woo Hoo! Injured clown in restraints! I can only hope this is the “Josef Mengele’s Memorial Hospital” and they’re verrry curious about what makes his McMuffin tick. Just sayin’.

  157. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “Is he asking what I think</strong he's asking?!" That is a difficult question, since I believe about 90 percent of time what Lu Ann is thinking is “Beige”.

    Mary Worth: “To each his own! We can both like different things and agree to disagree! Nothing will change that! Now get closer here, Jeff, and let me beat you unconscious with Volume 3 of the Encyclopedia Ameddlecana!”

    Spider-Man: Aunt May would be as proud to have Spider-Man as a nephew as she is to have Peter Parker. Who knew Aunt May’s superpower was applied sarcasm?

  158. gleeb
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    Zig: Call Slylock, quick!

    Red/Rover: “Technically even closer”. I guess he was censored when he had the kid mention that he’s screwing the dog.

    Other Coast: He’s dead! Yay, it’s over!

    Slylock: The cops arrest whoever they want. Who’s going to question them?

    Zippy the McEldowner: Blah, blah, blah…I ain’t readin’ all that.

    Sally: She knows how to press his buttons, and it’ll work off some of the pie-weight.

    ‘bean: She wants to do the dog’s business. I guess that includes eating her own vomit and sniffing randomly-selected crotches, too.

  159. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: It would be great if, right now, a 6.2 earthquake hit, burying a smug recalcitrant Mary in her beloved, bookmarked books that are no longer anally-retentively lining her bookshelves. It’d be even greater if Dirk rushed in and pulled Mary out to safety.

  160. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#157): Let me try this again, only not badly edited, and with different mouse-over text:

    Apartment 3-G: “Is he asking what I think he’s asking?!” That is a difficult question, since I believe about 90 percent of the time what Lu Ann is thinking is “Beige”.

  161. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    Retail: “There’s nothing more insidious than cursed garbage.” A direct quote from the next installment of Harrison Ford movies, “Indiana Jones and the Spellbound Depends!” Sponsored by Kimberly-Clark, makers of the Depend Undergarment.

  162. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Zits: Really? No squeaning? I don’t know if I want to live in a world where kids can’t “squean” in public.

  163. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:47 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: Aunt May is proud of her nephew? Damn, I hope they check her for senility on top of the Spelunkers Lung. The nephew who can’t keep a paying job? Did nothing to stop you from being dragged into the sewers of New York City? Abandoned you in front of a hospital during a blackout? Doesn’t visit or write for months at at time?

    The Better Half: “A penny for your thoughts…or a dollar to keep them to yourself!” I’d be in the poorhouse along with Rat.

    Blondie: So is Dagwood a sadist or a masochist? I keep getting them mixed up.

    Dennis the Menace: Hang it up, kid. Mrs. Wilson, a kindly old lady, is +10 on the Menace Meter compared to you.

    The Lockhorns, lower left: So Loretta was a cheerleader in Westview, Ohio?

    Marvin: Leaving aside the terrified title panel, I sorta chuckled.

    Mutts: Kitty cat sounds like Elly Foob with a cold. I’m not sure if that’s an insult to the cat or the woman.

    Pluggers: “Pluggers are lazy.” There. You’d have been 9 words closer to tee time had you used my caption, Brookins.

    Sally Forth: Good one, Ces! I can so imagine (not really) them getting to third base in paper-mâché monster masks.

    Sherman’s Lagoon: That’s the exact reason I won’t eat seafood.

  164. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:52 am [Reply]

    I propose we add “squeaning” to the Comics Curmudgeon lexicon alongside “going roadside” as yet another activity kids do. Let’s try it out:
    * “Get off my lawn you squeaning kids!”
    * “Dear, the police are at the front door, they want to ask Jeremi if she knows anything about the squeaning…”
    * “Yo, check it out. Tommy got 3 weeks detention for squeaning in class. He is so XTREME!”

    PS-I’m sad to find out this is a rerun from 2007 and I didn’t pick up on “squeaning” then. Squeaning squeaning SQUEANING!

  165. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#145): I am so not clicking that link. Bizarro was bad enough this morning.

    @Comcis Fan (#148): If this extremely uninteresting non-Kindle arc is the apéritif, the next storyline had better be more action-packed than “Gunfight at the SantaRoyMart Cart Corral.” I fear, though, it’ll have the excitement level of “Chester the Beagle is a Real Drag.”

    @Chip Whittle (#157): “Encyclopedia Ameddlecana.” Now I know Mary’s rage against the machine: this volume hasn’t been converted to any electronic formats, the electrons not having the ability to be written in blood.

  166. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    Comics I forgot to read. Damn Sundays. I have to go squeaning all over the ‘Net for entertainment.

    Garfield: Both Jughead and Dagwood have this same wet dream.

    Get Fuzzy: Someone get Satchel an iPhone, STAT!

    Pearls Before Swine: OK Rat, now that your trigger finger is all warmed up, head on over to those strips over 30 years old and do your thing.

    Zits: That list is the anti-Kama Sutra.

  167. Mr. O'Malley
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    MT: Interesting to find out that there are no seagulls on the Pacific coast. So many nature facts I would never have known without this strip.

    OBH: Pretty funny for a family strip.

    SF: I really can’t conceive of how anyone could be bored in their own home. I’ve got enough stuff here to keep me occupied for the next 400 years. And that doesn’t include cleaning out the garage. But crafts leading to kinky costumed sex is certainly one way to pass the time.

  168. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Wakey, wakey! Eggs and bakey! I know everyone can’t be in New Jersey or at worship because all us Mudges are too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.

  169. Hibbleton
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MT: “and here we see the Trailian seagull punch the thieving, laughing seagull in the face”

  170. Carl Barks Fan
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    DT: This strip defies the laws of physics. Among others, in this strip, time goes backwards.

  171. Hibbleton
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Luann: News anchor Tiffany Farrell; the early years.

  172. Amateur
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MW: “Jeff and Mary disagree on reading methods.” I can almost hear the weary despair in Text Box’s voice. “It’s come to this? Really? I’ve quoted the greats! Classic poets! The Beatles! JOHN FREAKIN’ CAGE! And now — disagree on reading methods?? I’m better than this!!”

  173. Braniff
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    FC: Go ahead Dolly, Jeffy and PJ!!! Squeal on your loud-mouthed brother with the Oedipal complex!!

    (By the way, is this comic strip a commentary on today’s education system–in which no one–Billy, Mommy, Dolly or Jeffy–can count beyond TEN?)

  174. Bryan
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: So who’s going to be Jet Jaguar?
    Funky Winkerbean: That readheaded lady wishes Wally would “pop her corner” just once, good and hard.

  175. CanuckDownSouth
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#150): FYI – I’m pretty sure “Something wicked” alludes to the same primary source as surely Bradbury did, Shakespeare’s Macbeth (By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes – note that this was actually by a witch, about Macbeth)

  176. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    IP: wonderful set of shout-outs, including the obligatory Lio.

    NAoQV: book reading win.

    PBS: I LOL’d. long and loud. Rat’s line made the joke. Also, any day where you’ve got ‘Bear Necessities’ earwormed can’t be all bad.

    GF: I liked GF today. Probably because it was a Satchel monologue.

    Zits: no PRONKING?!?!?!? the principal shall be hearing from me about this!

    SFx: Ted, you sexy beast. I also laughed at this one.

    Lio, CdS, Frazz all had wonderful visuals today. *applaz*

    RwO: d’awwwwww, who’s a good dog?

    Crank: sorry, but the first SB was not that big of a deal.

    Bizarro: hah! I’m not sure if Baka Gaijin would approve of this or not.

    MT: trash hawks, now with extra larceny.

    SFx: my favorite, the pre-fourway riddle! The answer: the dotted lines lead the po-po right to him. Love the kid submission, nicely done Miss Fabara! We’ll keep you in mind if Mel ever quits My Cage.

    6Cx & A&J share a theme. 9CL is close, and talk about a lazy Sunday strip.

    OB: now THAT is how you draw a Sunday strip! (and a tiger. I’d suggest that Brozeman take notes, but he’s retiring anyway.)

    standard oversnark disclaimer.

  177. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    MW: “Nothing will change that,” she says as she swings around, the hardbound limited edition War and Peace breaking Dr. Jeff’s nose, “I’m the only one allowed to meddle around here.”

  178. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: Give it up Paul you lost her when you showed her the keys, “Oooooh! Shinies!”

  179. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Are Batiuk and Ayers the only two people on the planet that don’t know which Sunday is the Super Bowl?

  180. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    FW: Clean up at the corner of aisle 3. Good doggy. Bad Wally.

  181. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Archie — I wouldn’t object if this strip was renamed “Why You, I Oughta…” and shifted its focus from Riverdale’s Alpha Redhead to Veronica’s illegitimate son mischievious cousin. It’s only fitting since Archie already appears in a truckload of magazines and digests bearing his name, and Leroy has never had a single feature to call his own.

    As a Jedi Master of Menace, Leroy could also teach a certain Dennis T. Menace to finally realize his true potential!

  182. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Zits: Well, at least the list doesn’t forbid getting trashed and hurling.

  183. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    RE: Crankshaft. So, Cranky’s son in law is at about sixty-five years old?

    RE: Apt 3G. It seem to me that, if the plans to move in, tearing it down and rebuilding actually makes as much, if not more, sense.

  184. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    “To each his own. We can both like different things and agree to disagree. Nothing will change that.”
    “Who are you…and what have you done with the real Mary Worth?”

  185. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

  186. zerowolf
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    FC: Prov 22:15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

  187. wossname
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    JP – It took me quite a while to figure out why Sam was saying “This is me” in the penultimate panel. First I thought he was having an identity crisis and trying to reassure himself. Then I thought he was saying “This is me, judge, your old friend – you don’t have to kid around about the reception being canceled.” Finally I saw the keycard in his hand and all my “WTF???” turned to boredom.

    MT – Meet the seagull – the Reeky Rat of Mark Trail.

    MW – Please, someone make them shut up!

    SF – Win!

    Sly – Ha – for once it wasn’t Reeky Rat – Lubjem Fejf did it.

    BR – Also win!

  188. Comcis Fan
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#177):

    That’s what her ire is all about, isn’t it? Someone dared to meddle Mary!

  189. John C Fremont
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    “Squeaning, squeaning, squeaning on the everlasting arms…”

  190. Hibbleton
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    SlyFx: As usual the print is too small for me to read. But it’s pretty obvious that the group on the couch is waiting for a delicious snack of roasted mouse nuts. I don’t, however, know why Slylock and his mate look so anxious. Are they worried about splitting one pair of nuts among three people manimals?

  191. TheDiva
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Oh, he’s like the guys in those Visa commercials, only nowhere near as cool and very obviously a liar.

    FW: And yet, because Les isn’t involved, it’s still not the squickiest love triangle in Funkytown.

    Luann: Serves you right for trying to use the second grade syllabus for high school kids.

    MW: And the tension is…thwarted.

    SM: “Which is to say, not at all.”

  192. Hibbleton
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    SlyFx: As usual the print is too small for me to read. But it’s pretty obvious that the group on the couch is waiting for a delicious snack of roasted mouse nuts. The mystery question is then; “How did Slylock split one pair of nuts among three manimals?”.

  193. John C Fremont
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

  194. FOOBed again
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#183):

    RE: Crankshaft. So, Cranky’s son in law is at about sixty-five years old?

    He has to be at least 60. He was in college at Kent State on May 4, 1970 and probably wasn’t a freshman.

  195. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#194): He has to be at least 60. He was in college at Kent State on May 4, 1970 and probably wasn’t a freshman.

    Nope, not a freshman in 1970 if he was also in college in 67 when the first superbowl was played.

    In fact if he was in college in in both the winter of 1967 and the spring of 1970, the odds are that he was a freshman in the fall of 1966. That would seem to indicate that he was 18 in 1966 and, therefore, right around sixty-two now.

    Man, so every adult in this strip is officially a senior citizen.

  196. Chyron HR
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    MW – “I like to see books lined up neatly on a shelf, where none of those naughty words can get out of them and into people’s heads!”

  197. Dingo
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    If there were, in the first two panels, for Mary Worth to more succinctly stipulate that she likes to masturbate to print, I don’t know what there is. I swear, lately I need gloves!

  198. Chip
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Hank @ 183 & FOOBed @ 194:

    I’m glad I’m not the only sad loser who sat there and did the math on Dad’s age. If he was 18 45 years ago, that makes him 63! And Max is only in his early 20′s and Mindy’s creeping up on 21, so they must have started having kids in their 40′s! Plus that would make the ‘Shaft at least 80!

    That’s one problem with legacy strips that don’t follow real time, yet try to keep up wiith current events…

  199. Chip
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    FW: “Buddy- lick this peanut butter off for me!”

    *Sigh* “That used to be MY job”

    One more reason for him NOT to leave the house!

  200. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: “How do they know they have the right man?” Big mystery: Jeff “Reeky” Rat.

  201. Chip
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    “…Nothing will change that.” “Now I will hear no more of this!”

    ..and just for the record- didn’t she say it was Adrian’s e-reader that Jeff was borrowing? Now all of a sudden he’s very pleased with HIS e-reader!

  202. Maggie the Cat
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    MW- Okay, okay, I get it. Jeff likes e-reading devices and Mary likes to feel pages.

  203. Chip
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, but I’m still OCD-ing about Crankshaft. He could have just said he was 8 or 9 and watched the first Super Bowl with his dad, and then fast-forward to watching it with his father-in-law…

    Or said he watched Super Bowl X in college and used the same “gag.”

  204. Chip
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I just read “Sally Forth!” Now I’m obsessing about something else…. eewww!

  205. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#176): I approve.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#181): I think Dennis’ menacing muscles have been atrophied beyond repair. He might, just might, work his way up to “squeaning.”

    @Dingo (#197): Uh, yeah. Some of us are trying to eat. Scratch that, WERE trying to eat. The image of Mary Worth, ahem, “engaging in safe sex” is not an appetite stimulant.

    @Chip (#201): I thought Adrian gave Dr. Corey the Boring Elder the iMeddleBook 1000 as a wedding gift or something. I know “gift” and “Adrian” were involved somehow.

  206. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (re Crankshaft) (#194):
    @Chip (re Crankshaft) (#198):

    Heh. Interesting timing. Right after commenting on how Cranky’s annoying, self-absorbed, daughter and son-in-law must now be senior citizens, I went to another website and read this:

    You have probably heard a lot about the first baby
    boomers turning 65 at the beginning of 2011. The
    story has been all over the media, as you would
    expect from probably the most self-absorbed
    generation in American history.

    For a generation that once declared it would not
    trust anyone over 30, boomers certainly are making
    a lot of noise and fanfare over this seminal
    milestone of old age. You would think that we would
    find some irony in the moment. But then again, Gene
    Simmons still thinks of himself as a rock-and-roller.
    And boomers, those born from 1946-64, are self-
    absorbed enough that they still don’t trust anyone
    over 30 — or under 30, for that matter…..

    Boomers “tend to think that their experiences are
    unique,” notes Hais, who is joining Winograd for a
    second book on millennials that is due out in

    In reality, our uniqueness may be the messes that
    we have created. Not only have we heaped
    incredible amounts of debt on those that follow us,
    we enter retirement expecting them to not trifle with
    our Social Security and Medicare. Then we have the
    temerity to pass judgment on other generations.
    GenXers as slackers, remember? Our politics is loud
    and accusatory and often hopelessly intractable.
    Boomers are world-class finger-pointers….

    The stories about boomers retiring and “giving
    back” — through volunteering and other civic work
    — infer that we’ve mostly been takers up until now.

    Celebrate the boomers turning 65? Nah, we’re just
    another generation, getting old.

    Sucks, doesn’t it?

    Now, if the point of Cranky was to SATIRIZE what a bunch of navel-gazing jackasses the baby boomers are, that might make a good comic strip.

    But, obviously, that’s not the case. We are supposed to emphasize with the son-in-law and feel his pain over having his beloved boomer totem defiled by a member of his parents’ generation.

    In other words, the strip–and Batuik–are illustrating exactly what the editorial above says is wrong with the boomers…without even realizing it.

    Just another example of how, when it comes to “writing,” Batuik is a complete failure.

  207. bats :[
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#151): someone wake me when it’s over.

  208. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

  209. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    9 – Cats sure are cats.

    Slylock – I was going to guess that they were playing a game where your name is shown on the screen, rather than positing a dead giveaway like this. Wait, why not have it so that Jeff is wearing a shirt that says “JEFF!!!” on it? And the other three have shirts that say “NOT JEFF!!!!” or “I’M WITH JEFF” on them?

  210. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Orange – Isn’t the Curmudgeon where I saw the link to the YouTube of the dog and the sled? From queek maybe? Maybe it was failblog. Anyway, it’s a winner.

    Rex – Ah! Two tickets. I begin to see how they’ll manage to screw everything up. Berna has the wrong tic, and the other one has suffered a hilarious garbage disposal mishap. Meanwhile, Dex has the Bum Boat in the driveway.

  211. bats :[
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#209): while this is a win for 9CL, what was Solange batting around?

  212. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Mary – “I like diving into my books like a porpoise! And burrowing through them like a gopher! And throwing them up in the air and letting them hit me on the head!”

    Judge – I looked up Eduardo Barretto today, and it looks like he’s done a couple of projects in 2010. Wikipedia says his health is improving — I’m not sure when that was updated — and the work he’s doing would seem to bear this out.

    Wishing you the best, Mr. B! Be well, and thanks for all the hoo… all the great art.

  213. carlag8r
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Zits: When I was teaching high school (around the turn of the century) (as in this century!), the administration actually sent home a letter with a list of inappropriate “dancing” moves/styles (including “booty dancing” and several others on that list in Walt’s hand). And let me tell you, that list was necessary – sadly, it wasn’t obeyed much…

  214. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#206): I trust that whichever Generation is scolding Boomers today will be sure and keep their righteous gobs shut when they get old, just as they’ve been so reticent about expressing their opinions about people a bit older than themselves for so long.

  215. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#210): that squee was not from me, but I got a giggle out of it now! :-)

  216. Hibbleton
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Crank: I call BS anyway. As I recall, and I was 9 at the time, was that the first two super bowls were looked upon more as exhibition games by NFL fans. The third one brought about more interest because there was a NY team involved and after the Jets won all hell broke lose. But get up at 6:30am to get a seat in a dorm to watch Green Bay play Kansas City, that’s nuts.

  217. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “Is he asking what I think he’s asking?” “I think so, Brain, but isn’t it illegal to do that with a yak in most states?”

    FW – Well, at least this time Batiuk hasn’t pasted one of his sad-sack characters’ heads into the picture, but I’d say that mercy was made up for by the once-again reminder that yes, this is a love triangle between a psychologically scarred man, a woman with no self-esteem and a chronic fixit complex, and a dog. At least these are characters I don’t actively hate, though.

    HTH – Some day I’m going to write a comic strip in which an adorable little bunny is hunted, killed, and devoured raw on-panel by a predator.

    JP – That’s not you, Sam, it’s a keycard. If it were you it would be insufferably smug and wearing an awful plaid jacket.

    Luann – Hey kids, did you know? The popular girls who wouldn’t date Greg Evans are all horrible sluts with no brain. Remember that, it’s totally true!

    MT – Sea gulls! What a worthless bunch of vagrants, amirite? (Answer: yes. They’re arial raccoons without the charm.)

    MW – Mary pays lip service to the notion of legitimate difference of opinion and preference, but her eyes betray her unease. That Kindle has to go – nothing so insidiously modern can be allowed to exist in Charterstone. Oh, this is a classic. (P.S. also more amusingly innuendoized dialogue about manually fingering things.)

    The Norm – Awww…*sniff* the nostalgia…

    OB – “Wait, did I take a wrong turn?” the tiger thinks. “I mean, this is the lion act, isn’t it? I’m supposed to be over in the Dick Tracy death circus.”

    PBS – I love this strip.

    Phantom – Ah, Guran. You’ve got to respect a man with a hat like that.

    PV – Out in the snow in a getup like that? Maldubh is pretty hardcore, all right.

    RMMD – Wah wah waaaaah!


    SFx – Ooh, I like this solution. [*]

    SM – “Which is to say, not very proud, because you’re useless and he’s absent. But, you know, maybe you’ll at least get me into the hospital this time.”

    Edison Lee – What.

  218. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

  219. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

  220. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Adam @ Home: Hey, yeah, that was an awesome crash that was entirely…invisible to the audience. Can you imagine what the comics page would be like if it were a visual medium?

    Barney and Clyde: Ooh, now, that’s some neat drawing and writing. I like the experiment.

    Ginger Meggs: The structure’s OK, except since Ginger’s Australian isn’t like half the country in the same time zone as Japan anyway?

    Home and Away: Oh, yeah, I was just thinking of those good-old-days when the incompetence and corruption of auto mechanics wasn’t a stock joke. You know, back in the childhood of these characters, which would have been the 70s and 80s, the high point of automobile quality in the western world.

    The Meaning of Lila faces off against the meaning of identity theft, and loses. And Annie remains the best character in the strip and one of the top kid characters going on today.

    Ziggy is about to have his face eaten by raccoons. Also, raccoons are about to develop doughy, depressed faces.

  221. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#220): Heh, that Barney & Clyde reminds me of a page of hexagonal-panel comics I did once, where each left-to-right path (theoretically) formed a story. Of course, it helped that my comics were mostly nonsense to begin with.

  222. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#201): Adrian gave it to him for Christmas. I know this because I reread the arc to see how much more hilarious it would be if Jeff were trying to sell Mary on a different electrically powered device. “Would you like to be my bookmark, Jeff?”

  223. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (re: Crankshaft(#214): …I trust that whichever Generation is scolding Boomers today will be sure and keep their righteous gobs shut when they get old…

    I guess you didn’t actually read the whole thing because, if you had, you would know that it was written by a boomer.

  224. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    FW: I am now calling this strip on going out of its way to be depressing. It’s one thing for an author to like depressing storylines and cruel twists, but another to dump on happy material on purpose. He couldn’t leave it as a cool superhero dog homage cover, but had to throw in the gloom that the dog has brought whats-her-face. And in a regular strip the “sigh, that used to be my job” could have been followed up with “now we can stay together while he does it .” Exactly the same material could have been two upbeat strips, but instead he made it one downer Sunday.

  225. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#214): As far as I’m concerned, self-absorbed twits are self-absorbed twits no matter what generation they’re from (and it’s not like Gen-Xers don’t have a healthy share of pompous nitwits who think they’re Special, either.)

  226. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Hey, Mister Muppet Guy Teacher? Maybe if you didn’t want stupid reports you should have assigned a project which made a lick of sense. “Why gravity is important”? Why not something less abstract, like, “Are kittens?” or “When is it now?” or “Hey, is that food?”

    Marmaduke: Oh, isn’t that cute, Animal Control thinks it’s bringing Marmy to justice? How long till they’re curled up in the corner freaking out about the folly of the higher-ups who assigned them this bug hunt?

    Reality Check: Goat watch, by the way. Cute little joke, I just didn’t want the goat community to miss this oft-overlooked strip.

    Tarzan: Oh, yeah, Sir Peter Whiffle thinks he’s experiencing a charming put-on performance of an Edwardian safari fantasy and it’s Tarzan who thinks the other’s confused?

  227. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#221): There’s some neat variants, mostly gimmicks, on the choose-any-path story. The one that comes to mind and that I can’t quite pin down is someone who wrote a ten-page book of sonnets, with each line of the sonnet openable to any page, producing at least in principle somewhere around 300 billion sonnets, allegedly all of them readable though who knows how you’d check?

  228. Swordsmith
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann: While arguably obtuse, Tiffany’s report seems to be a perfectly on topic response to the assignment on the chalk board. The teacher may not have expected “why” to be answered in respect to the fashion industry, but he’s way off base in claiming that it’s “not even close” to the assignment”. It’s not close, its spot on.

  229. bats :[
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#220): re Ziggy: more disturbing is that Ziggy has a double bed…

  230. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: You know, I think sometime between panels Dr. Jeff said something like, “I have it. I love it. I want to have sex with it!” Since he wasn’t talking about Mary’s snatch, she got all bent out of shape.

  231. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#7): Oh, I meant to mention yesterday: Your descriptions of the various floats in the parade were just as funny as the comments you posted! Well done.

  232. Joe Blevins
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Today zombie Ziggy sells out.

  233. This Guy
    January 30th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’d comment on this strip, but I’m pretty sure it’s not worth trying to tilt my head far enough to read it. Keep it up, Batiuk, and even the snarkers will just write you off. (*)

  234. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m not caught up on everyone’s comments from the weekend, so I imagine others have expressed this frustration, but: Did we really just spend a whole friggin’ week on Mary and Jeff discussing their different tastes in reading methods? And is today’s “let’s agree to disagree” really the resolution of this story plot narrative complete fucking waste of paper, ink, and attention?

    You know, I pretty much love this strip for its lameness. But that lameness must be fueled by some sort of energy. It can’t be garden-variety lameness. No, it has to be outrageous, flamboyant, Wilbur-frolicking, Aldo-stalking, Scott-wounding, swan-shattering lameness.

    Moy needs to remember her own words: You can’t kick a dead dog. This past week was one deceased canine of a strip.

  235. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

  236. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#202) said: “Jeff likes e-reading devices and Mary likes to feel pages.”

    I didn’t know that Mary was a member of Congress.

  237. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#234): A writer on another site I frequent once said that Red Zone Cuba “seriously gives Seinfeld a run for its money in the being-about-nothing department.” The same could be said, I think, for the past week of Mary Worth.

  238. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#235): See, if Moy can’t think of a story, why doesn’t she just do a week of different squeelicious corgi pix? You could be the “guest artist”!

  239. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#238): interesting concept.

    this one could be entitled via narration box:”Ian and Toby head for the Charterstone pool party“.

  240. Écureuil Écumant
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: An acquaintance of mine, back in about ’87, ran afoul of the wrong Las Vegas macher by starting a legit business that infringed on said don’s black market action. He was rousted from his pad at midnight by the Vegas cops, who drove him out into the desert and gave him a tuneup. One of the procedures involved putting him in the “search position” against the hood of their SUV, ordering him to read aloud letter-by-letter the name of the truck as shown on the hood, and taking turns kicking him in the nuts with each letter. The truck was a Chevrolet Suburban.

    I mention this only because the question of Mary’s preferred reading method has come up, and I have my suspicions.

  241. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#240): If Jeff Corey is lucky, Mary drives a Ford Ka.

  242. ElkMeadow
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    So Berna had two tickets? I wonder if she’s got the dud, and brother has the winner, has already cashed it in, done the interviews and stuck her half in a bank account, and went shopping while she was agonizing at the Morgans. If so, I see him enjoying his last few days on earth, watching the games, boating at the lake, driving a nice car while his sister fumes about all the money he’s wasting when he should be sitting around like she does, whining.

  243. bats :[
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#235): I think that’s a very clever pup, “playing dead” (aka, “doing a week in the Mary Worth universe”).
    This week’s MW was even boring me as I was doing mashups (“didn’t I already do one about Mary’s “toys” and Jeff’s incessant masturbating?”).

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#236): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  244. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#239): And I’m imagining their little pup voices like the dog in that Beggin’ Strips commercial—but instead of “bacon bacon bacon,” it would be “salmon squares! salmon squares!”

    (You proved my point well there, too: That single photo, with your caption, was better than this whole past week of MW.)

  245. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#244): the thought of Gilbert Gottfried voicing Mary Worth makes me smile.

  246. gnome de blog
    January 30th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#234):
    Maybe they had to store up a week’s worth of lameness energy for the next Charterstone pool party. Should be awesome!

    Or maybe not.

  247. Jamus The Bartender
    January 30th, 2011 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Wow, Melody Mouse has an amazing rack!

  248. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#247): yes, yes she does. Love the kicky boots on Tiffany Fox, as well.

    as a note, someone has been adding CC links to various wiki pages. I am quite amused.

  249. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#223): I had followed the link and I had read the whole thing before commenting, thank you. Was it being quoted at length at me by a Boomer? Would an article on how rotten all the members of a group are be any more credible if it was written by a member of that group?

  250. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 30th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#167): I hear you. The day the house is empty of unfinished or anticipated projects is the day I’m either dead or it all burned down in a fire.

    Is it just me, or does it not seem that Mary hasn’t said much today to indicate that she actually enjoys reading her books? There’s a lot of talk about how she likes to touch them, play with their pages, etc., but reading?

    Maybe that’s why she’s so resistant. She can’t in fact read, but has simply collected lots of books to hide the fact. This may be why she quotes things endlessly, too; it’s possible she “read” a quotation book on tape once, and it got stuck in her head.

  251. Batman Beatles
    January 30th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    MW – In the last panel is that a picture of Jill in the background?

  252. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Batman Beatles (#251): Like any big-game hunter or serial killer, serial-meddler Mary is compelled to keep trophies of her conquests.

  253. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (re: Crankshaft) (#249):

    I had followed the link and I had read the whole thing before commenting, thank you. Was it being quoted at length at me by a Boomer?

    Well, I quoted it. But you already knew that.

    I was born in the early 1960s which, according to this makes me a boomer. It also puts me well into middle age.

    Would an article on how rotten all the members of a group are be any more credible if it was written by a member of that group?

    Maybe. Maybe not. But it makes your earlier attack on the post (“I trust that whichever Generation is scolding Boomers today will be sure and keep their righteous gobs shut when they get old”) largely moot, insofar as both the article, and my post, were written by middle aged (or older) boomers and not members of a younger generation.

    But, really, thanks for doing at least as good of a caricature of a boomer as Batuik did in today’s Crankshaft. Heck, with a little practice, and bit more crankiness to your posts, and maybe you’ll achieve full-fledged Pluggerdom.


  254. Swordsmith
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    One Big Happy: PBS crossover sighting, and well done.

  255. Pseudo3D
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    FC – Run, Billy, run! Mommy’s about to blow everything in a five-mile radius sky-high!

  256. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 30th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]


    DT: Wonder if Dick has any idea he just called Mordred a used condom.

    S-M: Ah, it’s nice to know that even after collapsing with spelunker’s lung, May Parker still holds onto her sense of humor.

    OBH: I know the PBS characters have been discussed in this strip before, but is this the first time one has shown up?

    A3G: When I think of a criminal pulling off a successful robbery and holing up with three women, I don’t picture him spending the whole time playing Half-Life. Times are changing, I guess.

    Curtis: No Curtis, I haven’t thought about kissing a ten year old girl after smashing her iPhone. And if I had, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to say so on the Internet.

    Archie: Obviously the pencil was drawn at the last minute when the syndicate wouldn’t allow the cartoonists to show how Elmo really wrote Archie’s name on the snowball.

  257. Chip Whittle
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: You know, if I had to pick one family that would spend all day anticipating the Pro Bowl–the forlorn, forgotten, unloved cousin of professional football–it would be Crankshaft and the Crankshifty. Batiuk probably is still mourning their moving the game to before the Super Bowl in the hopes of tricking people into thinking it’s football.

  258. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#226): I’m always leary of saying “COTW nom”, since it’s not up to me. That said, your Luann comment deserves some kind of commemoration, especially the “Are kittens?”

  259. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#253): Boomers have traits that lend themselves to caricature? All this time I thought people were laughing with me. =.. (

  260. ElkMeadow
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Batman Beatles (#251):

    I was wondering if the photo is of Mary’s planned replacement–you know, the one he met in Viet Nam, the one he met again while Mary was meddling seeing of a time, who didn’t like seafood, the one who talked him into buying a Kindle.

  261. Calico
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    MW Sunday – is that Mary’s Halo floating away from her?

  262. Esther Blodgett
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

  263. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#262): Thankyouverymuch.

  264. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    (Wait… you’re not applauding at me, are you?)

  265. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Slylock shook his head and took the platter of cookies into the kitchen, returning with more mulled wine for the teapot. The girls were still in hysterics over Victoria’s “dotted lines always leads to Jeffy” answer. Melody’s laughter had lead to hiccups, which did wonderful things for her torso, encased as it was in a sleeveless turtleneck, deliberately chosen from the ‘one size too small’ drawer. Max’s quick nip on Melody’s neck failed to stop the chorus of hiccups, leading to more laughter amongst the four friends.

    Victoria took the lead, first shimmying out of her flared slacks, also deliberately chosen to be removable over the high-heeled ebony boots that she wore. Her thong was sheer jet-black lace, matching the boots, and setting off her rusty red fur perfectly. She tapped the giggling mouse on the nose, and helped her out of the turtleneck, revealing a lovely emerald green push-up bra. Melody gave her torso a shimmy-shake, interrupted by yet another hiccup. Victoria smiled, and leaned in with a series of love-bites along the petite mouse’s neck and shoulders, followed up by a gentle french kiss. Breaking the lip-lock, Victoria gasped in pleasure as she felt the paws of her vulpine lover work their way under her cowled top. She yipped softly as she traded kisses with both Max and Melody before her, and ground her hips back into Slylock as he leaned past her to kiss whichever of the Mouse couple was otherwise non-occupied..

    Hours later, the four friends agreed that crime-puzzle night was the best night of the month, by far.

  266. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#265): Too bad the tomorrowthread was up when you wrote this. I posted a link back to it. Great reading.

  267. Escorts in London
    January 31st, 2011 at 6:13 am [Reply]

    Ary Very believe the Kama Sutra be read as originally published, while Jeff likes the modern version with instructional videos.

    Escorts in London

  268. Werewolves in London
    January 31st, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    We’ll rip your throat out, Jeff Jeffy Jim.

    Werewolves in London

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