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Here it is, kids: Your top comment!

“I don’t know what kind of horror has caused Dolly and Jeffy to flee in haste from the Keane ranchette, but not only, as others have mentioned, has Jeffy tied something non-hat like on his head (the arm protector from the La-Z-Boy?) but Dolly has put her stirrup pants on over her shoes. That’s right, Dolly — the tree keeps its clothes at all times on so it can make a quick escape when its mommy starts screaming out bible scripture and chasing the kids around with a hairbrush and a vacuum hose.” –Mustang

And your runners up! Very funny!

“So this is the meth lab Paul’s so proud of? Be careful Lu Ann, those chemicals will straighten your hair.” –zenvelo

“After reading Shoe, I started to make a list of things that are really important that you don’t see people doing on TV. I won’t bore you with the whole list. But masturbating made the cut. Reading Shoe did not.” –Esther Blodgett

“‘Rely on batteries or electricity?’ Good Lord, what else did her husband give her other than those swans on their marriage night? She might have gotten an electric shock from which she’s never recovered. I’m surprised the doc hasn’t prescribed lotion.” –Dingo

“Kelly is Cherry’s evil twin sister. Mark tolerates her because he can’t tell them apart.” –gnome de blog

“How can Jeff fail to comprehend that Mary would be daunted by this new technology? As has been amply demonstrated this week, our venerable heroine continues to find the intricacies of operating a coffee cup almost hopelessly bewildering.” –Violet

“The obvious subtext of every Pluggers is always, ‘Pluggers honestly don’t give a fuck if they live or die,’ but today’s installment is a little on-the-nose.” –Doctor Handsome

“Nothing says ‘I’m not afraid’ like placing your coffee cup in a defensive position between your heart and what you fear most: a future beyond the control of Mary Worth.” –VochoCinco

“OK, so that’s clearly not a plugger, because when the hell did pluggers start using fancy-Dan cable boxes and big-time-Charlie remote boxes? Pluggers use rabbit ears and believe that remote controls shoot lasers that could take out an eye. Fucking frauds.” –DownWithOPP

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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