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Side Window

Slylock Fox, 1/15/07

This has to count as one of the most frankly sexual newspaper comics I’ve ever seen. I neither expect nor at any level want to see red-hot mouse-on-mouse action in Slylock Fox, but in a medium that tippy-toes around the love life of three healthy single women in Manhattan and goes to excruciatingly unrealistic lengths to protect Elizabeth Patterson’s virtue, the matter-of-fact presentation of Max “visiting” Melody in the middle of the night — and of the two of them obviously being woken up by Slylock’s frenzied late-night call — is kind of shocking.

This sidekick business is clearly no cakewalk; clearly, Max must be forced to carry a beeper around with him, or to give his vulpine boss the phone number of all his lady friends’ houses. Either that, or he’s only cultivated his relationship with Melody because he knows she lives across the street from a fence. As soon as the stolen goods are recovered, Max is moving on, leaving a tiny broken heart in his wake.

For Better Or For Worse, 1/15/07

In my policy of trying to find the bright side of everything, I’m really enjoying Liz’s verbal humiliation at the hands of her Mtigwakian supposed friends. As I’ve noted earlier, the Noble Natives of the North may have been intended as a heavy-handed bit of ethnography, but they have ended up being the only people in Foobonia allowed to frankly call Liz on her crap. Not that I endorse the overarching “stick with your own kind” message here, but wrapping up “Girl, she stole your man! Snap!” in some kind of mystical “spirit journey” hokum is pretty hilarious to me.

I think we all know that Liz doesn’t have to worry about guidance. Her journey is like a cruise missile, zeroing in on The Mustache at an unstoppable rate.

Antifoobitarianism is spreading to the Webocmic world, by the way. Check out these recent offerings from Crap I Drew On My Lunch Break and Shortpacked!

Dick Tracy, 1/15/07

Boy, Dick Tracy is getting soft. Dick actually looks kind of concerned that he may have accidentally destroyed a man’s mind while engaging in pointless plot-stalling exposition. It takes mustachioed industrialist Diet Smith to supply the appropriate level of callousness. “Now, Tracy, this man is my employee, and when he signed his contract, he waived his right to sue or press charges over accidental brain erasure. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the empty shell of his body is disposed of with some degree of dignity.”

The phrase “he spilled his thought beans” makes me uncomfortable on a number of levels.

Mary Worth, 12/15/07

Not only is Mary Worth honest-to-God going to Vietnam, but she’s managed to go from decision to airborne in less than a week. Meanwhile, she’s still having disturbing dreams. I’m guessing that “Hanoi … Peace Village” has something to do with this, but it’d be so much cooler if it were actually the site of the Communist mind-control lab where Mary was brainwashed forty years ago. It’d play out like The Manchurian Candidate, with Mary playing the part of both Frank Sinatra and Angela Lansbury.

At first I was jealous that Mary was flying in some kind of magical airplane with wide, comfortable seats and several inches of elbow room between neighbors, but then I realized where that extra space came from: there doesn’t appear to be any aisle. Presumably once the plane reaches Vietnamese airspace, the bottom of the plane will open up and the passengers will be dropped onto their destination.

121 responses to “Side Window

  1. treedweller
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    I continue to be amazed by this team of detectives. I mean, let’s just assume for a moment the mouse lives in a neighborhood where odd numbers are adjacent to evens. Setting up a camera on a tripod infront of a picture window in a lighted room might not be the best strategy for catching the neighbors up to no good.

  2. just me
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    Mary’s wearing black….is that foreshadowing for the death of her imagined affair with the doc?

  3. OBrien
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    At first I was jealous that Mary was flying in some kind of magical airplane with wide, comfortable seats and several inches of elbow room between neighbors

    It’s called first class, prole. I’m just shocked that she isn’t flying Emirates or Singapore Air, given the massive payout she must have got from the life insurance policy she took out on Aldo.

  4. treedweller
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    But I do like how this strip includes the red herring of a clock in the inset picture. Maybe they saw my post awhile back about the guy who stole the beaver’s bag (when I said I knew the solution only because the watch was so big it had to be a clue). You fooled me again, Slylock! I was going to say the mouse with the big hair was sleeping with the thieves and tipped them off. Since the Godzilla movie ran in prime time, clearly the mouse moll TIVO’d it and the coffee is meant to perk Max up after the GHB she slipped him earlier.

  5. treedweller
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Moving on to FOOBville:
    [raises hand] I’ll guide you Liz!
    I didn’t mean to direct her to the liquor store and then off a cliff to a fiery death. Sometimes things just happen.

  6. Mr. O’Malley
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    You don’t need to be quite so afraid of this link. However, it’s a little difficult because it’s actually a slide show. I don’t know how to link to an individual picture. You can click on the strip at the bottom to move yourself around. But you might find it interesting, because about 2/3 of the way along there’s a photo of Uncle Phil’s band doing a gig in Australia.

    “Uncle Phil’s band” … hmm … could be parody material there.

  7. Proteus
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    Greta Weber? Greta WEBER? “Greta” Weber/

    Comics are so much more fun when you miss a few days. All day long I’ve been a little Mary Worth, muttering “Greta Weber?” Please don’t tell me there is someone in this plot named Greta Weber. Would spoil my fun it would.

  8. rodent
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    For sexy, what about the racy dialogue in today’s Mark Trail:

    Girl: What are we going to do?
    Boy: Uh-oh, here comes your dad. He’s going to see the beaver!

    You know, I just realized that the only thing worse than trolling the comics for sexual inuendo is finding it in Mark Trail. Well, that or Mary Worth.

  9. Bobdog
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    So does this mean that Max Mouse is going to get fired for incompetance? Not to mention being intoxicated while on duty — if it weren’t for the narrative on the side, I wouldhave assumed he’s drunk dialing Slylock. Will Slylock hire the nameless, angry beaver in his place?

    Also, the given solution also forgets to mention the other reason there’s no sign of the thief — the tip Slylock got was total crap.

  10. Mibbitmaker
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    1/16:

    FC: A few weeks? That settles it: the FC kids are really adult midgets! That makes their infantile intellect even sadder.

    S-M: Omigod, they’re turning into the Lockhorns!

    Marvin: And this makes Saturday’s crap joke even more disgusting.

    FW: “Well, we didn’t have any problem with you when we called for you – but you’re now in big trouble for that boys’ room stunt, young lady!”

    A3G: Margo’s gone from wickedly insightful (“Does your balloon ever land?”) back to just plain bitch. Welcome back, Margo.

    SF: Oh, give Ted his one moment of glory, will ya? (…. Zod???)

    Nancy: Hey, shouldn’t that be “Mutts”?

  11. Merdz
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    I think Mary might finally be losing it. A half-full plane only carrying white people is NOT headed for Vietnam. The next scene will feature her stumbling around whatever town she actually lands in and mumbling about Hanoi until someone directs her to the nearest VA Hospital.

  12. Christopher
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    As the Gorillaz said, tommorow comes today…

    Prickly City:

    Dude, calm down, the Democrats have a majority in one branch of government. You still have a Republican President, and seven Supreme Court justices were nominated by Republican Presidents.

    Not to mention the fact that you had a majority in both houses in the previous congress.

    It’s weird, I always thought of Prickly City as a fairly sane comic strip, but watching this poor guy have a melt-down after enduring, for a few weeks, a third of what Democrats have had to deal with for years is, well, pretty entertaining.

    It’s flattering for somebody to think you’re so powerful that having the least bit of power will enable you to utterly conquer the world.

    Incidentally, “bipartisanship” hasn’t been particularly a goal of either party for several years now. I frankly have no idea why Winslow’s pretending to be bipartisan; it’s not like any Democrats I know want or even pretend to want bipartisanship.

    Mallard Fillmore:

    Okay, this is the worst meter I have ever seen in an alleged Limerick.

    Slylock Fox:

    Okay, this one made me laugh out loud.

    One thing to take note of is how imply changing the direction the castaway is looking changes the entire tenor of the picture.

    In the first panel he’s saying to the bird, “See, that’s where all the CIA spy cameras are! Say hello to the nice men at the Trilateral Commision!”

    In the second he’s saying, “Well, enough foreplay! Let’s make love under the full moon!”

    Hagar the Horrible:

    And yet you live in a one-room straw hut.

    Seriously, where does all of Hagar’s plunder go? He’s always plundering castles, but he hasn’t bought anything for decades. What’s the deal, does it ALL go to the taxman?

    And speaking of, who, exactly, has the authority to tax a Viking marauder? Is he like some kind of primitive privateer, with a mandate from some monarch to plunder enemy nations? Did they even have those in Viking times?

    How do you make a strip about a Viking warrior so dull and nonsensical?

    Dick Tracy:

    Dear, sweet Jesus, END END END!

    This story has been going on since LATE AUGUST. The WRAP-UP has been going on since LAST YEAR.

    Is Dick Tracy the first comic strip actually written by a glacier?

  13. Mr. O’Malley
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    #6. Good, my link worked. The picture in question is 26 seconds from the end. Once the slide show stops, you can click back to the individual pictures.

    I would say something about life imitating art, except that Dennis Brain did it at the Hoffnung Festival back in the Fifties.

  14. Mibbitmaker
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    More 1/16:

    MW: “You want to go there?! THERE?? You do not want to go there, girlfriend!”

    MT: And the zany sitcom begins!

  15. edgeways
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    ok.. I gotta say.. what .. the.. F*ck! looking at FBOFW today we see that Jesse has grown…. quite a bit. Just how long what Ole lizard butt gone? 3 years? good god.. perhaps the Canadian government is performing secret human grown hormone treatments on the northern native populations, thus this is the real reason why Elizabeth can’t mate with Paul. Her white girl pelvic bone would crack giving birth to the mutant monsters.

  16. Nate Birch
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:07 am [Reply]

    No kidding about Tracy going soft.

    I had a number of collections of the old Tracy comic strips from the 40s/50s as a kid and in Dick Tracy’s town if you commited a crime there was one and only one punishment. A bullet between the eyes dispensed by Tracy’s gun. If it was only a lesser crime (say purse snatching or something) he’d let you have an open casket and only shoot you through the heart.

  17. Mike P
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    When Mary Worth lands, she’ll realize she needs the deft mind of a detective to help her find her man-whore, so she calls in Fox. Slylock Fox. That would be the most bizarre crossover ever, and at the end of it we’d find out the past several months have just been a drug-induced dream. The drugs provided by Aldo Kelrast, still alive and well and taking advantage of the drugged-up Mary Worth.

  18. edgeways
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:11 am [Reply]

  19. Mr. O’Malley
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    12. “Dull and nonsensical” sums up Hagar very well. The actual Vikings had much more interesting lives.

    Viking leaders were expected to treat their men very generously whether they were working or not. Since you couldn’t go raiding in the winter, by springtime a leader could get fairly short of plunder.

    The Viking legal system also punished most offences, including murder, with fines. So if you were quarrelsome you could use up your money fast.

    Sometimes, like privateers in later times, a wealthy person would outfit a ship for a promising young warrior, in expectation of sharing in the profits.

    And Viking kings did levy taxes. Here is an interesting story about Olaf, King of Norway (1016-1022):

    When the King of Sweden sent his tax-gatherers across the mountains into Gaulardal and Orkadal we are told that Olaf had twelve of them hanged on a ridge as sport for the raven, a warning to the Swede, and a joyful spectacle for Norwegian passers-by.

  20. Cafangdra
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    Josh’s Slylock Fox commentary:

    Maybe it’s just that I (stil) have 70+ pages to read for seminar and it’s already 2:28 in the morning (hey–exactly twelve hours till seminar!), but I laughed loudly and gleefully for about two minutes straight. Oh, man. Hee hee hee!

    And that “Crap I Drew On My Lunch Break” Foob thing was golden, too.

  21. Caged Tygre
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: So all the women at the university look like this, but all the men look like this?
    Damn it. When will I get a comic where the men are handsome, well-built and be-kilted and the days are always just a little bit breezy?

  22. TB Tabby
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    SM: Mary Jane was speaking in a bright yellow voice balloon! Please let it be Deadpool in disguise, please, please, please…

  23. Alex Blase
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Oh man, oh man, oh man, this Mary Worth plot has brightened up my past week so much. There is nothing in the comics that can possibly compete with Mary Worth going to Vietnam. The MacPhersons are getting a dog? I don’t even care to tell their big-headed, poorly-named kids apart, so unless the dog is Vietnamese, I’m not paying attention. Elvis is out to kill Niki? Ummmmm, neither of them is Vietnamese, so, I don’t care! Luann Powers is commissioned for ten paintings? Yeah, like there’s any chance that those paintings will be about an old advice giver going to Vietnam. DON’T CARE!

    On the Slylock Fox comic, I am 100% certain that this little “mystery” was run about ten years ago. I remember reading it and wondering what neighborhood in the US would have consecutively numbered houses anyway, considering the numbering in all the cities I’ve lived in is based on the distance of the house from the city’s center, and therefore will never be consecutive (I was a thoroughly boring 12-year-old).

    Does anyone else remember this exact comic from ten years ago?

  24. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    Mallard Fillmore: I don’t get it, as Fidel Castro isn’t anything like Saddam Hussien. More than likely, the artist/drunk who does this strip has limited skills in creativity and can always select an easy topic.

  25. whoamItoday?
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:36 am [Reply]

    On the Slylock Fox comic, I am 100% certain that this little “mystery” was run about ten years ago. I remember reading it and wondering what neighborhood in the US would have consecutively numbered houses anyway, considering the numbering in all the cities I’ve lived in is based on the distance of the house from the city’s center, and therefore will never be consecutive

    Everywhere I have ever lived, the houses were consecutively numbered, odds on one side, evens on the other, with occaisional 1/2′s added in when the property was subdivided somehow. What cities have you been living in where the housenumbers were not consecutive? (for the record, I’ve lived in 8 cities/towns in 3 states)

  26. whoamItoday?
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    re: the amazing growth rate of our young friend Jesse:

    When I went to college in August, my 13 year old brother was as tall as my chin. When I came home at christmas, he was an inch taller than me. My mother had taken up the habit of buying him one pair of (cheap, K-mart) jeans, long enough to double cuff, within two weeks, they’d be highwaters and passed up to the brother already 16 and doomed to be the short one in the family. (the bald one also, but the tall one was silver grey by 30, as was I.)

    ‘Course Jesse is a little heavier now also, my brother I don’t think ever gained any weight, to this day.

  27. Mooselet
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    So Melody Mouse is related to Mickey Mouse by the look of the portrait on the wall. Disney needs to get on this right away.

    As for Dick Tracy, who says “Ye Gods!”? And why is Dick talking to Mark Twain?

  28. topliff
    January 16th, 2007 at 5:43 am [Reply]

    1/16

    Blondie: Don’t be flattered girl. Of course you haven’t changed. No one except the old goat at the counter has – not Dagwood, Cookie, Alexander and especially not the sumptuous Cora Dithers. Not for twenty years. Deal with it.

    Croc: Although I don’t get it, the idea of “Superman WIlliam Tell flashing across the prison wall or SuperLuau Pig Roast has some appeal.

    MW: Why is Desi Arnez working as a bellhop at a Vietnamese Hotel? And speaking perfect English at that? “You got some ‘splainin to do, Mary”.

  29. Fred P.
    January 16th, 2007 at 6:03 am [Reply]

    Its a shame poor Max has to waste his time at the window there, especially as how the movie on T.V. appears to be about vomiting dinosaurs.

    So, is it usual for Max to take along plenty of fancy photography gear when visiting his lady-mouse friends? Slylock evidently assumes that Max will have his camera set-up with him. How does Slylock know about this predilection? Does Max typically share the photos from his late-nite escapades with his buddy? In any event, Melody Mouse seems to be taking it all very well, but you know that inside she’s thinking “God, what a dud this Max turned out to be…”

  30. Goaty
    January 16th, 2007 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    Foobville — Okay, what school teacher, upon reuniting with a former student she hasn’t seen in a few months…. begins the discussion by “do you have a secret you want to share” (or something like that. I’m too lazy to use the exact words). It’s obvious that Lizardbreath is trying to pump the kid into telling what he knows about that slut Susan. Now that’s just not very gosh-darned saintly, now is it?

  31. Dingo
    January 16th, 2007 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    #21 Caged Tygre: You need to be reading Kyle’s Bed and Breakfast, which is sort of a gay male 20-somethings version of Mary Worth. Y’see, Kyle owns this B&B (no!) on Long Island and for some reason all of these hot young guys rent rooms from him for what seems like years at a time. Kyle is the Mary Worth of the group. He has a boyfriend, a Canadian ice sculptor. One of the residents is a closeted minor league baseball player who last year lost his virginity (finally) to an Italian soccer star. The next-door neighbors are a cute couple consisting of a bear and an Asian guy with their adopted Aryan boy. If Charterstone had a Speedo deck by the pool, this strip would be it.

  32. Tree
    January 16th, 2007 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    Stupid mouse.

  33. yellojkt
    January 16th, 2007 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    Peace Village is Mary Worth’s Mtigwaki. It’s a place where white people go to feel noble helping darker skinned folk, but once there they just obsess over their sad failed romantic lives.

  34. Pozzo
    January 16th, 2007 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Yeah, nothing goes with a post-coital cup of coffee like a good Godzilla movie. Max, you romantic fool!

  35. Jonathan Bogart
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    He spilled his thought beans! He spilled his thought beans! He spilled his thought beans!

    Am I going to have to make the T-shirt myself?

  36. Pozzo
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    #27: “As for Dick Tracy, who says “Ye Gods!”? ”

    Well, Zanetta Shinn in “The Music Man,” for one.

  37. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    So they hanged Saddam’s half-brother yesterday, and his head was ripped off.

    I can’t wait to read Tinsley’s limerick.

  38. Ukulele Ike
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Whoops. That was me.

  39. man behind the curtain
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    MW — Here’s the url to one story about Peace Village which is near hanoi and treats children who are suffering from the effects of Agent Orange. I still think it’s going to reveal that Dr. Jeff left some love children behind in Vietnam.

    http://www.journeyswithinourcommunity.org/Peace_Village.html

  40. Dennis Jimenez
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Luann – I’ll bet Gunther is pretty offended by Luann’s comment – After all, he’s one heck of a little girl.

    FC – Yes Billy – that “special formula” that cousin Max has been applying to your chin, will have you sprouting wiskers any day now.

  41. Squawk
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    I think Max and Melody Mouse are possibly siblings, considering they have the same surname. And Max would have to be pretty much a friggin’ idiot not to know that 42 is across the street from 41, not next door. It might be time for the Sly one to give Max his walking papers and hire a more reliable assistant.

  42. NEW-ME
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Why is the bookshelf talking in GT?

  43. andreavis
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    #29 Fred P.– clearly Max’s friend Melody runs a side business from her home– she models nude for Pentmouse and Max is her photographer. How else do you explain the robe, and the expensive camera equipment, set up and ready to go? She’s on her coffee break while he does this side job for his pal. It’s all so naughty….

  44. NEW-ME
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth is checking into the hotel in Vietnam and all the people there are WHITE?

  45. Ham Gravy
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Greta Weber. Hmmm. Bet wagerer? A web regret? We grab tree? Beg wet rear? Greater web? Wet rag beer?

  46. AAckTTpth
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    {in hushed yet excited tones}

    Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your right, you will see the not-so-rare example of the female Canadian Self-centered Snot-nosed Tit. Look at that glamorous plumage, designed to attract all the males in the area. Unfortunately, the Self-centered Tit usually ends up driving all the males away with the repetitive cry “What about MEEEE, What about MEEEE”. The Self-centered Tit ultimately mates with the Lesser Spineless Grey Dweeb, the only species that can put up with all of the annoying habits of the Self-centered Tit.

  47. True Fable
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    #12 Christopher gets a COTW nomination for this gem:

    Is Dick Tracy the first comic strip actually written by a glacier?

  48. IdolsofMud
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    I do enjoy Mary Worth’s flashbacks.

    “Da Nang . . . napalm . . . Aldo . . .VC . . .humping the countryside . . . landmines . . . AMBUSH! . . . WHERE’S MY AIR SUPPORT? . . . MY FUCKING CARBINE’S JAMMED! . . . BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN! . . .MARK TRAIL . . . Mark Trail?”

  49. AAckTTpth
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    YAY! We *are* going to get a MW fiery plane crash!

    With windows that big, she *must* be flying in an old DeHaviland Comet, a plane legendary for its big windows and “explosive decompression”.

    From Wikipedia:
    “Analysis showed the cause of the crashes to be metal fatigue: after thousands of pressurised climbs and descents, the fuselage metal (which was thinner than standard due to the need to save weight, resulting from the aircraft’s underpowered de Havilland Ghost engines) around the Comet’s distinctive rectangular, large windows would begin to crack and eventually cause explosive decompression of the cabin and catastrophic structural failure.”

  50. jules
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    GT: Oh look; the bookcase politely asked the superintendent about an IT contract. I love furniture with manners.

    A3G: Margo was so unkind today that Tommie couldn’t even manage a head-bobble. Poor thing.

    MT: “Your homework?! Honey, you’re not smart enough for homework…go find some pretty pinecones for me while I check on those damn beavers.”

    FOOB: *deep breath* ….aw, I just don’t care anymore.

  51. Saxman
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    A3G + 18 months

    “We the jury find the defendent not guilty of murder in the first degree. We’d all have done exactly the same thing to margo.”

    MW

    The most famous “Peace Village” associated with Vietnam is in Germany: it flies injured kids there for treatment and rehab. Hmmm. “Greta” sounds pretty German to me. The possibility of seeing MW in a Coolie hat isn’t nearly as disturbing as the possibility of seeing her in liederhosen.

  52. Ol'Froth
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    One of the residents is a closeted minor league baseball player

    He’s afraid of people finding out he’s a minor league baseball player? How very strange.

  53. kat
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    You know, if Charterstone is on the East coast, which I assume it is, Mary is actually flying into tomorrow. That should throw off the MW space time continuum. Look for Mary’s head to blow up sometime while she’s in Vietnam.

    Also, Mary’s sleeping with her mouth open. I hate that.

  54. reader-who-posts
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    #3 – I thought the same about Mary’s elbow room. First class seats on incontinental trips are larger than normal first class seats and lean back so much are basically beds, and she would be prone while she slept. Coach seats are the same narrow pieces of crap we all know and love. Neither matches what Mary was sitting in.

    FBOFW: I think “Do you have a secret to tell me?” is code she used when they would go to bed together. Yes, in a surprise twist Elizabeth will pull a Mary Kay Lotourneau will deliver a child fathered by her 13 year old student.

  55. Michael
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    FC: Far in the wasp-waisted past, Thel’s grandma got knocked up by a leprechaun.

  56. Lyman Returns
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy-It would be a sweet world, indeed, if people went around saying ‘Ye Gods!’ as an exclamation. By saying that, isn’t Tracy putting his reputation as a hard-boiled no-nonsense detective in jeopardy? Oh wait, he already does that by wearing a bright yellow overcoat.

    FBOFW-It’s about time someone gave Liz a verbal smackdown. You know her parents and her brother weren’t going to do it, it would require admitting someone in the family wasn’t ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND SUCCESSFUL IN EVERY WAY. Liz is such a tool…she turned her back on a life of adventure in an exotic locale to argue with her teenage sister all the time, live with her parents, and hang out with Anthony. There’s a word for someone like Liz, and that is…LOSER!

    Slylock-Even at 12:20am, Slylock Fox wears his full detective get-up. Dude, put on a t-shirt or a smoking jacket or something! Relax! Looks like ol’ Max the Mouse could teach his boss a thing or two about chilling out…look at the little dude, hanging out in red boxers and a matching Panama hat. That’s the way a gangsta needs to chill, Max. Good job. Even if you don’t know how house numbers work.

  57. Joe
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth. In Vietnam. Now they’re just messing with us.

  58. Ran
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Luann- Tiffany seems to be stalking Luann. She always seems to turn up and then competes for the male attention, or maybe she is simply competeing for Luann’s attention. I think there’s a darker side to this strip. Remember her taking pictures of the undressed Luann in the locker room? Yep, Tiff’s got it bad for Luann.

  59. TaxiGirl
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    TDIET Squid Count 2007: 2

    I’m starting to wonder if FOOB is making a conscious effort to become one of those comics that you read just to be able to say “Well, at least my life isn’t THAT pathetic.” Like Dilbert. Or Cathy. Or Spider-Man.

  60. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    MW: Moy & Giella are probably reading FBOFW and saying
    Moy: Hey, that comic has a chick travelling a long distance to find her man has been cheating on her. We are going to look like such plagiarists!
    Giella: I totally didn’t see that coming.

  61. Blissful Ignoramus
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth 16Jan2007: So yesterday there was a Toby look-alike sitting next to Mary on the plane, reading either The Lancet or a Lands End catalog. Today, there is a Tobywoman in a similar shade of fuchsia in the hotel lobby.

  62. rich
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Jesse: “No, but I’ve got something I want to give back.”

    Elizabeth: “My panties?!”

  63. Smitty Smedlap
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    The other night, I honest-to-god dreamed that I was living in Milford, under the Gil Thorp regime.

    Let me repeat that, for those that didn’t catch the horror….

    I dreamed that I was living within the world of Gil Thorp.

    And even in Milford, where pathetic specimens like Brick and Rap Dog can become sports heroes — even there, I can’t become a successful athelete. Instead, I’m pretty sure that I was doing color for Marty Moon’s play-by-play.

    I need therapy.

  64. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Several thoughts
    1) Max’s mouse-girlfriend has a telescopic lens camera and a tripod pointing out the window set up already. Max should think about taking the video camera tripod out of the bedroom.
    2) Max does have an angle to see the house across the street from the window. But it is possible that he hasn’t paid it any attention and hasn’t seen any activity there with peripheral vision – BECAUSE HE’S A COMPLETE IDIOT. Imagine he is talking to Slylock later. “Sorry, boss, I blew the stake-out because I was watching the wrong house.” Then, Max is quickly crushed in Slylock’s jaws.

  65. Scott Isaacson
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MW: I could swear I heard Jim Morrison wailing “This is the end” as Ms. Worth (or it is Mrs.?) awoke from her shamanic dreamtime state. This is actually turning pretty cool. Aldo Kelderast (is that spelled right?) wasn’t enough to make me pay attention, but Mary Worth water-skiing up the Mekong Delta behind a PT boat while “Satisfaction” is playing just might do it.
    FOOB: Is it me, or does Liz look really hot now that her heart has been shattered into a million pieces? I mean REALLY REALLY hot. I’m a bad bad man…

  66. rich
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    “Sorry, Miss Patterson, I took your panties before you left. I was using them as a, um, (wet) dreamcatcher.”

  67. Scott Isaacson
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Okay….I don’t even think Max Mouse is on the job here. I’m thinking Max and Mel are into voyuerism in the worst way and Max is giving Sly some kind of song and dance about how the theif is gonna show up “any minute now” while he and Mel make love watching some other nice couple. All on Slylock’s dime too. If there is a God, some thugs from Rockford Files will come over and put a garbage can over Max after introducing him to some chin music.

  68. tubbytoast
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The cop’s description of Elvis – “Is he a seedy looking guy, long hair, tattoos?” That’s a helpful profile. It describes nearly everyone I know.

  69. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Blondie: The old coot who complimented her is one of her original suitors from the late 20′s that aged in real time. Yes, she does look the same, pal. Too bad you dried up like a prune.

    But what really gets me is that there is absolutely no punch line. At least this Blandie wrapped it up with something resembling humor – Blandie telling Dag one thing, then her friend Tootsie the complete opposite, thus giving rise to the notion that she’s got a wandering heart – and by “wandering heart”, I mean “the only reason Dag still has a job is because Dithers gets a big Blondie bangaroo on a daily basis.”

  70. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Of course Max takes every opportunity to grab some willing and quite literal tail. He’s a bite-sized rodent sidekicking an always-hungry carnivore. Life is short. And if this strip is a fair indicator of his uselessness, it’s gonna get even shorter.

  71. GotFuzzy
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    NEW-ME, the bookshelf gets dialog because it is the least wooden character in (DT)GT.

  72. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Dennis has finally done something slightly menacing, or at least mouthed off to his mother. A few days ago, he brought a lizard to church in order to either convert the lizard, or prove that it is not spawn of Satan – That can be considered menacing if the lizard did indeed turn out to be the alleged Hellspawn, and instantly turned into a fire breathing demon. But whatever – not only is DtM in trouble, but Mom has to throw him in the brig by force. Fight da power, Denny! Down wit da man!

    Marmaduke: For those of you still interested – yes, both of you – Marmaduke is still a big dog – Ha ha ha ha ha!

  73. sally
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    COLLAGEN LIPS ALERT!!!

    Ahem. But seriously, only Deanna and Mewedith have them all the time. Liz is only drawn with the puffy lips when she’s being seen through the eyes of one of her besotted swains. Is the wise tribal elder about to drink the Liz Kool-Aid?

  74. Forthillrox
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    One of the residents is a closeted minor league baseball player

    He’s afraid of people finding out he’s a minor league baseball player? How very strange.

    Judging from from his baseball outfit, he may be in the closet, but the door to that closet is made of glass…

  75. Antelope Freeway
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Wait, though–didn’t Liz give Jesse a harmonica? I seem to remember that…

  76. Forthillrox
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    I meant to say: Judging from from his tight fitting spandex baseball outfit in the title panel , he may be in the closet, but the door to that closet is made of glass…

  77. Baby D’oh
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Actually, Dick Tracy’s look of concern is due to the fact that the words “Dick Locher” are coming out of his ear. Fortunately, this condition is treatable by amoxicillin.

  78. gh
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Three day weekend. Pacing . . .pacing. Too big a target; someone had to do it already. How many comments will I have to scroll through to check? What?? Over 700?! Fine, be that way! Humm, humm, humm, “. . . what am I flying for? Don’t ask me I don’t . . .” Argghh! Curse you Red Greenback! [It was delicious though.]

  79. Jeffwik
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    I’ve taken it upon myself to compile Tracy’s facial expressions from this whole Froid story arc into a single collage, available at http://jeffwik.livejournal.com/269342.html

  80. Jeff
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    #17 Maybe we do have a Mary Worth Slylock Fox crossover about to happen. Could Greta Weber be related to the Weber of Slylock Fox?

  81. Anonymous
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Slylock: And i see that the postcoital Max and Melody Mouse (no relation, i hope) are spending their postcoital moments with a hot mug of Postum as they enjoy Reptilicus throwing up all over Copenhagen on their RCA Colortrak set.

    And Max is clearly a fan of the Randy Newman song “You Can Leave Your Hat On.”

  82. HBGlord
    January 16th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    #81 — And stop calling me Anonymous!

  83. Jejune
    January 16th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    And this is where FOOB finally crosses the line from disappointing into offensive. Thank you, Lynn Johnston, for making it clear to me that interracial or intercultural love is only a childish preoccupation before you return to your own kind. I’ll be filing those divorce papers immediately. Sure, the kids will be disappointed, but they need to realize that they’re horrifying freaks who have no kind of their own to return to, and the sooner life teaches them this harsh lesson, the better. If I hadn’t read this strip, I might have gone on for years believing myself to be happily married, but you’ve opened my eyes. Oh, Lynn. Great is your wisdom.

  84. Tukla in Iowa
    January 16th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Sad to say, this is the first Slylock Fox posted on CC that I could figure out without cheating.

    #9: So does this mean that Max Mouse is going to get fired for incompetance?

    No, eaten. Which also answers Josh’s question about why Max puts up with this crap.

  85. Tukla in Iowa
    January 16th, 2007 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: “Who’s guiding mine?”

    Lynn Johnston is, Liz. You are so f*cked. But only metaphorically, of course.

  86. Tukla in Iowa
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    DT: Yeah, I’m sure the recording of an experimental mind-reading device will be admissible in court.

    Wait…do they even have courts in DT’s world?

  87. velouria73
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: when will the liz storyline end?! it started on january 3 with warren showing up unannounced at the patterson homestead and it is still going strong on the 16th with no sign of stopping. i can’t believe i’m saying this, but i would almost welcome the whiny mike-and-his-amazing-novel again. i’m still not quite ready for gramps and iris, though.

  88. Uncle Lumpy
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    FYI – Interesting article in the New York Times about comic-strip restorers. Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley are mentioned. God bless these guys!

  89. latenac
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    MW- admittedly, I’ve never gone to a psychic. I did have my tarot cards read once. But if you were getting advice from a psychic wouldn’t you take your dreams to them before you spent thousands of dollars going to Disney Vietnam to just make sure your dreams weren’t telling you he’d rather drown in an ocean than be with you?

  90. SmartPeopleOnIce
    January 16th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow: Slylock executes a no-knock warrant on the wrong house because of Max’s screwup.

    Hilarity ensues.

  91. dimestore lipstick
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    #36–Pozzo
    It’s ‘Capulets’ like you who make blood in the marketplace! Ye Gods!

    I had the same thought, but you got here first.

  92. SmartPeopleOnIce
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    #37/8 (UI) So they hanged Saddam’s half-brother yesterday, and his head was ripped off. I can’t wait to read Tinsley’s limerick.

    There once was a man named Saddam
    Found guilty, was hung thereupon
    When Bush cried “Another!”
    They hung his half-brother
    And Tinsley got a DUI in December, his second alcohol-related offense in two months.

  93. Erich
    January 16th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    #92 – No, that would never make it as a Tinsley limerick. The first four lines actually have a workable meter!

  94. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    I agree with #93 – This is what Mallard would say:

    Saddam is an evil bastard and we were right to invade Iraq.
    It’s the fault of the liberal media that it turned into such a wreck.
    Lots of blood is spilled
    Lots of Husseins got killed
    And I’m still here safe and sound never having experienced one moment of personal danger except for the occasional death threat for writing this laborious dreck.

  95. Hogen Mogen
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    83 – Jejune – yeah, I agree with you. I’ll divorce my wife, too. She’s not like me. She’s one of them… you know… females. I’ll turn to my own kind from now on. I hear with “one of my own kind” there’s no arguing about leaving the toilet seat up.

  96. Alex Blase
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t realize that Mallard Fillmore was doing limericks until I read about it here. I really just thought it was the normal rant with an occasional rhyme thrown in. Go figure

  97. Professor Fate
    January 16th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Who’s Guiding mine? Oh please, your destiny is being guided by a 60 year old woman who hates you.

    And this plot continues to freakin amaze me. The entire mess has been a by the numbers example from “lazy plotting 10″ so it’s just absurd for Liz to have this moment of existentialist angst – Liz is simply Lynn’s sock puppet to the point where it would make more sense to be have her dawn with a big arm sticking out of her butt.

    argggg.

  98. Poteet
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    # 36 — Pozzo, thanks for pointing that out.

    SF — I have several pet mice, thanks to the teeny genitals of adolescent mice and a mis-sexing by a mouse-inexperienced vet. So I’m here to say that some mice, at least, are extremely discreet about their sex lives. Extremely. Maybe Slylock should consider hiring a more discreet mouse assistant with more discreet lady friends.

    Geez, it’s only Tuesday and I’ve seen enough excellent bwahaha comments since Sunday to fill three COTW lists. Good luck, Josh.

  99. srah
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    #45: I think my favorite anagram for Greta Brewer is WAGER BERET. Or possibly TEAR BE GREW, because Mary’s tears are going to be grew when WE GREET the BRA of Greta Weber, locked in the arms of Doctor Whatsisface, with her BARE WET ERG.

    Either that or we all GET RAW BEER (I hope it’s not a RAT BREW, GEE).

  100. brendan
    January 16th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    I think the whole “he’s native” line smacks of casual racism.

    There are literally dozens of reasons why LP and PW won’t work out, but cultural and race issues is just a copout. Plenty of people, including my canadian ex, maintain happy and healthy longterm relationships with people of other races and cultures.

    BTW, the whole “who’s guiding mine” face makes me want to throw acid on Lizzie, like Ida Nelson does to Dawn Davenport in “Female Trouble”. “I got somethin for your face, motherfucker! “

  101. True Fable
    January 16th, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    Who’s guiding my journey?

    As a Native American, I’m guiding my own fuckin’ journey, Lynn; you white-bread prejudicial little shitheel.

    Get Liz back to Perfection so she can get busy sleeping around on Anthony with other men of her own breed! Mark Trail will no doubt find her in the Lost Forest, what with so many people telling her to Get Lost.

  102. PInk Haired Girl
    January 16th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Why are all the people on Mary’s flight WHITE? This is really bugging me.

  103. Vince M.
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Slylock reminds me of my favorite euphemism for puking: Talking to the dinosaur on the porcelain phone.

  104. Professor Fate
    January 16th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    102 Mary is not in viet nam – she was flow around in circles for hours until she landed in Ohio hence the Hotel clerks painful whiteness and his not wanting Mary to go anywhere. As will come out it’s an elborate revenge drawn up by Aldo’s family – the old dream lady is in on it too. Hell’s she’s the master mind as will be revealed when she walks in on a beaten and dispairing Mary wearing the Number two Badge.

  105. Ubiq
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Who’s guiding your journey, Liz?

    A young gentleman by the name of A. Railroad Plot.

  106. mynameishere
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Hello people. I submitted this to reddit. Please give me some love by upmodding it:

    http://reddit.com/info/yqj1/comments

  107. King Folderol
    January 16th, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Slylock – SOLUTION – Melody is Max’s sister. If he hasn’t figured out yet how city streets are numbered, he sure isn’t going to able to figure out how to get into a tiny mouse vagina.

    FBOFW – Damnit, I want to root against Liz, too, but I just can’t get down with the “it’s your fault he cheated on you” bullshit. I hate that rationale, and wrapping it up in Native American “wisdom” is insulting to women, Native Americans, and my intelligence. Lynn Johnston has sunk to a new low, which I would have thought was impossible.

    DT – Ye Gods???

  108. James Schend
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Melody Mouse likes Godzilla flicks? Someone hook me up!

  109. Caged Tygre
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    #31, Dingo, thanks for the link, it is nice to see the male figure seen as something other than a cheap joke, though Brad there doesn’t seem to be the sharpest crayon in the box.

  110. Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
    January 17th, 2007 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    Shylock fox-

    I can only allege that Max is calling in to Shylock to report a suspicious prowling in his pants. With Max thinking below the equator the look of panicked disgust on Shylock’s face shows that he knows his incompetent dolt of a sidekick has once again totally @#$%ed up an operation. The great detectives only logical step is to take Max fishing ‘Fredo style’.

    Mary Worth – “Hanoi..Peace village.. Greta Weber..Greta Weber?
    Saigon… @#$; I’m still only in Saigon… Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in the jungle. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing. I hardly said a word to Aldo, until I said “stop stalking me”. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. I’m here a week now… waiting for a mission… getting softer; every minute I stay in this plane, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter. “

  111. Ubiq
    January 17th, 2007 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    Frowning freak fried Fraudulent Froid?
    Free Froid, frenzied, fruity friend!
    French Fried Froid Fricassee.

  112. Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
    January 17th, 2007 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    #86 – Hilarious point about the judical system in Dick Tracy’s world!! It seems that most of Dick Tracy’s suspects end up in the morgue or horribly maimed. And yet no internal affairs investigations hmmmm…. :-D

  113. anonymous
    January 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Shylock Fox – thank God someone noticed the mouse sleepover besides me. If I pointed this out to the dullards I associate with, they’d say, “Huh. Did I leave my stapler in here?”

    I can’t help it – I have to say it: “Red. Hot. Mouse-on-mouse. ACTION!”

  114. Candace
    January 17th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    After reading shortpacked and crap I drew on my lunch break I now see that in the hands of a competent artist Liz can me made to look at least mildly attractive. However, in the hands of Lynn Johnston she continue to looks dowdy and sleep deprived.

  115. DavidD
    January 17th, 2007 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    In case you thought you couldn’t hate For Better Or Worse any more:http://img.7chan.org/34/res/58459.html

    You have to wonder who draws it.

  116. don hosek
    January 17th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    DavidD, my eyes, oh my eyes are burning…

  117. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    January 18th, 2007 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    *8 – Why no outcry for this shirt????
    Watch out or Daddy will see the Beaver!!
    Sure it’s a a tad more obvious than the typical shirts but c’mon…

  118. Schlimmerkerl
    January 18th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, Melody Mouse is related to Ignatz Mouse.

  119. Charlotte
    January 24th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    As I have now learned that I have a secret conduit to Uncle Lumpy (evidently the only one to admit to using a reader for the comment feed):
    Here’s to Uncle Lumpy, Uncle Lumpy, Uncle Lumpy
    Here’s to Uncle Lumpy, The best of them all
    He’s happy, he’s jolly, he’ll snark you by golly.
    Here’s to Uncle Lumpy the best of them all
    I wonder what the next post archeologist will think when he/she encounters this?

  120. Uncle Lumpy
    January 24th, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Here’s to Charlotte, sweet lovely Charlotte –
    She’s got an RSS feed!
    She’ll tease you, she’ll please you, she’ll Dutch Elm Disease you,
    And make sure you’ve got just what you need!

    . . . . o o o o O O O O

  121. Anonymoose
    November 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    It may not be a cakewalk, but it beats not having the protection of a larger animal to keep you from being some one else’s lunch.

Comments are closed for this post.