The Comics Curmudgeon

124 responses to “Memorial Day Weekend comics BLOWOUT!”

1. Chris Jeffery
   May 29th, 2006 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

   Spider-Man: Yikes indeed! As if the fanboys needed anything more to fantasize about!

2. Marc
   May 29th, 2006 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

   Wow! Big post!

   I like the mysterious woman in the background in the most recent Judge Parker.

   -Scalper?

   -Molester?

   -Loiterer?

3. Bill Peschel
   May 29th, 2006 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

   Since I’m out of the loop as far as poker-related phrases are concerned, can anyone enlighten me on the genesis of “Deal or no deal?”

   And I must add that the swimsuit-wearing babe in Mark Trail looks like she was lifted from one of those sci-fi movies from the 1950s, seconds before she’s carried off by the radioactive monster.

4. Anonymous
   May 29th, 2006 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

   I admire how the always-economy minded Jack Elrod saves money on life models by simply consulting the swimwear sections in his stack of 1953 Sears catalogs.

5. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
   May 29th, 2006 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

   I have to admit, that is a great Family Circus. It’s seldom that we get to see the evil on their faces.

   Now then, I’m a littel disappointed that Josh didn’t find a way to fit “work it like a claw” into the Mark Trail section (which is true, by the way). And while eating at a Japanese restaurant with my chopsticks-impaired daughter, I was seriously tempted to say “work it like a claw.” Instead, I asked the waitress for a fork.

6. Chawunky
   May 29th, 2006 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

   Indeed, Diana appears to be imitating the sound of a playing card in the spokes of a bicycle wheel. Maybe she knows it’s the only thing that’ll wake the Ghost-Who-Snores.

   But until then I was grooving to the redundant caption box in panel three–it’s obvious from Diana’s actions and dialogue that she was awakened by the sound of metal (shades of Gary Neuman!), so it’s egregiously superfluous…in the best action comics style!!!

7. edgewood
   May 29th, 2006 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

   first post is gonna get deleted, heh.

   guess the cult of Paterson has a hold of Lizerdbreath… go… go be a teacher in suberbia and marry your accountain-for-a-used-car-salesman. *retch* good god elizabeth WAKE UP!

8. kippetje2000
   May 29th, 2006 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

   Personally I thought that a crabs “equipment’ is not that impressive. Certainly not enough to to keep the attentions of such a bikini babe as that. Maybe they’re better at the afterglow cuddling thing than us male sapiens. Mark Trail, gotta love ‘im.

9. brendan
   May 29th, 2006 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

   I didn’t read more than the FOOBSville Follies, and I knew Josh’d have something to say.
   At this point, Lizzie deserves Anthony: the two of them are a couple of selfish manipulators (witness Anthony’s “wait for me” bullshit a few months ago). What happened to the fucking “this is what love feels like” pirouettes this winter?
   Seriously, I’m expected to root for this twit?
   Fuck Lizzie, and fuck the FOOBersons.

10. Woodstock
    May 29th, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Dear Josh, loving the post size. That’s a lot of comic loving. Thanks!

    I’m hoping that Elizabeth will make a trip home with her whiny ass and realize that Anthony is not all that not is he the bag of chips, but that would be both sane and unlike FOOBville.

    Meanwhile in Wary Mirth, the slowest, stupidest plot train ever keeps chugging! Choo, yawn.

    Ack, possible double post!

11. Mumblix Grumph
    May 29th, 2006 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Ya wanna know why Slick Smitty is grinning? He’s looking at Shylock Fox and dreaming of a big piece of tail.

12. Shannon
    May 29th, 2006 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    I second the request for clarification RE: the “deal or not deal” bit.

13. NotThatGuy
    May 29th, 2006 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    I used to think Crock was dopey, but in a can’t-help-but-crack-a-grin way. So it appearing here in Curmudgeon Land made me smile for auld lang syne.

    Except that I am also among the clueless as to the hip and up-to-the-minute expression “Deal or No Deal.” So I googled it, and it’s apparently a TV show. It still makes no sense to me in comics context. Alas.

14. NotThatGuy
    May 29th, 2006 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    I mean, I keep substituting other TV shows: “Let’s GO, Jeffy! American Idol!” or “What did he say next?” “‘Desperate Housewives’”

    Actually, I find that last one funnier.

15. dlauthor
    May 29th, 2006 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    At this point, I’m rooting for Lizard to be miserable. I know that this will not happen, because things always turn out all right for the Holy Family, but jeez. If I were Officer Dudley, and uprooted my life (such as it was) for such a flake, I’d probably have said something much worse than he did. Lynn — let her go back to the moustache who walks like a man. Let her realize, too late, that it was the wrong choice. Let her be the villain in this situation. You’re already most of the way there … keep pushing it. Protagonists are only interesting when they have flaws.

16. Pantsman
    May 29th, 2006 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    Stay tuned for next week’s hip cultural reference Family Circus where the entire family gets “Lost” on a mysterious island. Fortunately all they have to do to get home is follow the dotted line trailing from behind Billy’s shoes.

    Should I feel stupid for not figuring out why Slick Smitty was guilty? It’s supposed to be a puzzle for kids, right? I thought maybe he bribed an officer or at least from the looks of the signage was driving the wrong way down the street. As he seems unconcerned with being in court, I presume he bribed the uninterested judge with a Tootsie Pop too.

17. NotThatGuy
    May 29th, 2006 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    The judge is an owl. He woulda bribed him with a mouse.

18. mooselet
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    “Deal or No Deal” makes perfect sense to me. It’s a game show in Australia where the contestant picks one briefcase out of 25 and hopes it has the big $$$ in it while the bank keeps making offers to pay them off as the remaining briefcases are opened. The bank makes you an offer and you say ‘deal’ or ‘no deal’, depending. Yeah… well, it beats Wheel of Fortune.

    I’m so sick of Lizardbreaths whiney “I-want-to-go-home-where-I’ll-make-no-difference-to-anyone ways that I hope she gets saddled with Anthony and his spawn and regrets it the rest of her days. Like Josh, I’m waaaay too invested in FBOFW.

19. mooselet
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    And ooops, I missed a quotation mark. Please don’t sic Margo on me!

20. Firegoat
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    Does the new artist for Judge Parker mean our days of sexy female mustaches for all the characters are over?

21. Firegoat
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail could have completely rocked if it mentioned that the crab was working it like a claw with its sea anenome enemies….

22. saint ruby
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    sam has some hairy-ass hands.

23. AppleGirl
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    I really think Lynn is setting us all up in FBOFW. It’s pretty obvious when you look at the way Paul is drawn: broad-shouldered, hunky, he even talks like a man. Versus the way Anthony is drawn: a whiny cinnamon-bun convenience store manager who is totally whipped.

    We are obviously supposed to want LizardBreath to stay up north with the hunky “real man.” And we all do. We fell in the trap.

    Won’t we all be surprised when LizardBreath marries Paul, only to discover that he’s a psycho wife-beater? Then we’ll all be hoping that she can get away from the clod and gee, what a shame she didn’t marry sweet old Anthony when she had the chance!

    By then, of course, Anthony’s cinnamon-bun retail chain will have just gone public and he’ll be the next venture capital gazillionaire. The mean French lady will return at that point.

24. Les McClaine
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    I’m betting that new artist is Eduardo Barreto, who’s really a talented fellow. He’s done quite a bit of excellent comic book work.

25. The Mighty Sam
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    It looks like Jeffy has clearly decided upon “NO DEAL.” I don’t know what Billy’s so pissed about: he offered Jeffy two choices, one of which was taken. If Billy doesn’t like the outcome, maybe should have offered different options, like “DEAL or I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!”

    And what’s with Billy keeping score? What card game played by children involves scorekeeping? Perhaps the Keane children are prodigies at bridge, and Billy’s just in a shitty mood because his partner apparently is the invisible “Not Me?”

26. Len
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    I figured that Slick Smitty left his Handicapped Parking tag hanging from his rear-view mirror.

27. Traveller
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    Doesn’t it seem a bit odd that the Phantom sleeps in his costume? You’d think it’d get a bit whiff what with being worn 24/7 and all. He’s even still wearing the mask…

28. Mike
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    After years of seeing sleeping peoples’ sounds described as “SNRK-XX” or whatever the hell it is Dagwood does, it’s refreshing to see the Phantom sleeping with a simple Z.

29. Bergamot
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    Maybe little pinch?

30. MGmort
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    The second panel of Mark Trail reads much better if you assume the text is describing the woman rather than the crustacean . . .

31. Other_Sally
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    I know that “Spiderman” never misses a chance to show us just how much sex Peter and MJ have (and it basically sums up most of their interaction, considering Peter’s always out the window first thing in the morning), but I found his broad naked torso, obvious half-remembrance of last night’s activities with that dream-flashback, and then the confirmation thereof in the strewn costume-suits somewhat TMI.

    I’m thinking that the studio has another copy of the costume, because the bottom half of the Spiderman suit is likewise missing. No doubt it’s somewhere on the other end of the room, its footsie pajama feet licentiously entwined with Marvella’s crumpled tights and neon-pink panties.

32. Firegoat
    May 30th, 2006 at 3:37 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one that thought MJ’s outfit kind of… well…. sucked?

33. Al Ewing
    May 30th, 2006 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    The Spidey storyline takes a disturbing twist as Peter puts on the Marvella costume and parades around the room singing showtunes.

    Meanwhile, across town, Mysterio watches TV in his vest and contemplates committing an illusion-themed crime for a few weeks.

34. Other_Sally
    May 30th, 2006 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    33: No, you’re not the only one by far.

    In fact, these last few strips made me seriously question Spidey’s fetish tastes.

    …I didn’t mention it originally because I wished to keep that train of thought from disturbing others, but I suppose now it’s out there. Don’t blame me!

35. Mo
    May 30th, 2006 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    According to this, Boxer crabs do use sea anenomeas as weapons. That’s awesome.

36. Maura
    May 30th, 2006 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    Liz’s toolishness is going to be the straw that breaks my years of keeping FBOFW as a guilty indulgence. Also, if she’s really that confused about Paul versus Gordon, for godsakes, then she probably deserves the miserable suburban life she’s going to get.

    Marvella’s outfit does suck. But what gets me about MJ is that bizarre chin cleft. I can’t think of any actual female movie stars ever in history who have had bizarre chin clefts.

37. Frank Drackman
    May 30th, 2006 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    Wow this sucks that I’m not current enough to understand a FC reference. I want to see the stuff I remember from childhood, Billy givng Jeffy a nuclear wedgie or sitting on his face and farting, daddy surprising Thel and the lawnboy in the bedroom, or grandma playing the slots at AC.

38. Firegoat
    May 30th, 2006 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    Maybe if MJ had a costume with a device that lifted and separated her chin cleft so that appeared normal to our mere mortal eyes?

39. Justafoob
    May 30th, 2006 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    Officer Dooright will never get Liz to stay in Mtigwkawasaki. He is just way too controlling and demanding. Liz will never go for that.

    If she learned one thing from mom is that you marry a milquetoast and you tell him what to do. Men outside of the Patterson clan are things to be used and abused.

    There is no point in going after Officer Dooright if he is making demands now for Liz to stay. Can you imagine if she did do what he asked? Man in five years she will be getting her lights punched out for serving the spaghetti with cold sauce.

    Go for Granthony, Liz. He will never raise his voice above a dull whine.

40. Tom T.
    May 30th, 2006 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    Wait a minute — two weeks ago Barreto catastrophically blows out his ankle at the Preakness, goes through major surgery, and now he’s already drawing for Judge Parker? Modern medicine is certainly amazing, but isn’t drawing for Judge Parker a job for a gelding, not a stud?

41. yellojkt
    May 30th, 2006 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Sam and CultLady have been broken up for a whole week. Let’s go to the tape and figure out the real-life to Judge Parker life time ratio and calculate at what fraction of the speed of light that universe travels at.

    And I think there is only one male character in JP. They just keep changeing clothes at super speed. Well, super for them anyways.

    Poor whipped Dudley doesn’t realize he was just a slumming-with-the-natives booty call to keep Liz warm on those cold Mgititfreakywitme nights. What a slut.

42. Vite Senza Fine
    May 30th, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker has a theme of caring about people and of life as it used to be — of virtue rewarded,” says a fan of more than 20 years in Atlanta. Judge Parker was created in 1952 by psychiatrist Dr. Nicholas P. Dallis, the originator of two other successful “soap-opera” comic strips, Rex Morgan, M.D. and Apartment 3-G. The strip chronicles the lives – in and out of the courtroom – of Judge Alan Parker, Sam Driver and Abbey Spencer. With its true-to-life storylines, drama and suspense, Judge Parker has kept readers in 175 newspapers nationwide hooked.

43. JC Loophole
    May 30th, 2006 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or do MJ and Spidey have an awfully small bed? When the alarm sounds he is right next to it on the left- then when he looks to the costumes on the right, he is on the right edge of the bed. A twin bed is not an ideal situation for the bedroom of a couple. You would think that MJ could at least afford a decent bed. Maybe Spidey could troll the Matress King store, check to see if the “King” is being robbed. Then he could swoosh in and save the day. When the Matress King asks “How can I ever repay you?”, all Spidey needs to do is ask about the queen size Serta in the window.

44. Abbey the Wonderdog
    May 30th, 2006 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    RMMD today finds Sawah saying “Daddy, did you see the bump on my neck?”

    “umm no dear, let me take a look. But first let me go find my copy of Grey’s Anatomy so that I can figure out what part of your body is your neck. I’ll be back in 2-3 weeks, tops. If you get hungry, there is some ice cream in the freezer.

45. dlauthor
    May 30th, 2006 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    GF: “Real. Bucky.” Extra punchline in today’s strip.

    Spidey: Poor Peter. First his wife insists on having a job, then he can’t get into the studio lot to stalk her, and _then_ when he breaks-and-enters in red pajamas, he ends up with Nicolas Cage humping his leg. Oh, and FIGHT SOME BAD GUYS, will you?

    Bliss: Ow. Just, ow. I remember when the Big Unit ruled all of baseball.

    Mallard: The problem with this strip is that I have the sneaking suspicion that I might actually agree with it, but find Tinsley so loathsome that I can’t quite manage it (I love, in particular, how he disparages all U.N. peacekeepers with his sniping at their helmets). I checked, and for a change Save the Children seems a legit organization, and not some freaky Scaife-funded propaganda outlet. Oh, wait — it’s the accusation that the U.N. isn’t doing anything about the problem that’s typical duckshit. According to the BBC, there’s an investigation underway, and they’ll be punishing those found culpable _and_ assigning more women to the Sierra Leone region to try to avoid any recurrence. Sounds reasonable to me. So the last panel is just the typical Tinsleyan petty sniping.

    Foob: Flip a coin, guys. Or better yet, Officer Dooright — kick her and her stinky cat to the curb and find someone who gives a crap about you. And don’t accept photos from fat-assed suburban yentas, ever again.

    Monty: Apparently, Dave/Mr. Pi’s inviso-helmet can alsso make furniture appear out of nowhere. I will say that yesterday’s strip was marvelously elegant in its geeky simplicity.

    Prickly: Jump over the fence, rip out her throat, and leave the parts you don’t eat for the buzzards, already.

46. Treadwell
    May 30th, 2006 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Liz needs to pack up the kitty cat and her insecurities and follow the apron strings southward and spare the poor boy the agony of life with her.

    I had spared myself FBOFW for 20 years until I found this place. Now I “have” to read it, abeit with macabre fascination. Thanks a LOT, evildoers!

47. Jives
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Slylock: I’m going to go try that parking ticket trick today. Thank you children’s comic strip! You’ve inspired me to break the law.

    RMMD: Sarah could turn into a werewolf and Rex would just stroke his chin and look mildly worried. “More ice cream …”

    Spider-Man: Ghost rider? So I guess spidey will just jump anything in a costume?

48. Len
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    #36 — So, next time Pig is accosted by Annie May, his sea anemone enemy, and/or any of her clones, he should keep a boxer crab at hand. It will lift Annie May and sister, and keep them from any further mischief. Maybe even defend Zebra from the EEZ Fraternity! Float like butterfly, sting like a bee. Keep the cwockodiles away fwom me!

    I don’t think those anemones actually had enemas with Eminem. Anemonies don’t have colons, so they can’t get colonics.

49. Jives
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Sarah could turn into a werewolf and Rex would stroke his chin with mild concern. “More ice cream ..”

    And now Spidey’s molesting Ghost Rider? Geez, anything in a costume, huh?

50. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Jeremy and Sara in Zits are breaking up. Rat just got dumped in PBS. Dudley Doowright and Lizardbreath are on the rocks. Smiley and Baldo are splits. Brad and Toni even broke up and they were never even going out. What the hell is happening in comic land where the seed of young love dies before taking root?

    Crankshaft: Monday: 2% of 20 year olds graduate from college? Ummm.. you graduate high school at 18 and college is 4 years. Are we using Republican math or something?

    Monday’s GF had a really great look on Rob’s face, panel 2. Bucky has had his antics, but this one has apparently taken the cake on causing bouts of constipation.

51. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Luann: Please Brad, don’t go back to Toni. Those were the bad old days. Uh, a month ago, but it was a long month. Ok, but here I am begging a comic character not to do something and no one has a problem with that, do they?

    The Republican shill that is Mallard Fillmore: Yes, Mallard, it is only on Memorial Day that the media gives the servicemen and women the respect they deserve every day. This also may come as a shock to you, but the Mallard Fillmore strip is also a media outlet, and even Beetle Bailey gives more daily respect for the troops. This is clearly evidenced by the fact that today (Tuesday), you bashed the UN Peacekeepers, who – although not all American – put their lives on the line for the benefit of others. Thank you Mr. Tinsley for so quickly proving your hypocrisy and providing comfort and aid to everyone and anyone around the world who shoots at the blue helmets. Their jobs aren’t nearly hard enough without people like you taunting them. Why don’t you just draw bull’s eyes on some of them, you neo-fascist war-monger?

    Mark Trail: Jean Luc Picard vs. Dr. Evil. That is a showdown I’d like to see. Elrod, make it so! I also like Trail’s strategy: Give up, it’s hopeless. For cryin’ out loud, man, get a hold of yourself. You didn’t give up even when tied to a chair by a couple of dognapping hillbillies with a rifle pointed at your face. Maybe you should let Andy pee on the judge’s leg. You may lose the case, but you’d at least have something to show for it.

52. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    TDIET: I’d rather not comment on this morass of tired complaints, bereft of the slightest glimmer of humor. However, this daily slog through the whining of the masses, some of which are backlogged from antiquated times, occasionally requires some discourse for the ostensible purpose that I can vent my complaints about all the complainers. What I see here is not that neighbor Dimwitty is the real problem. No, I believe S. Gottleib in Miami is a loser. The fact that the can has been carelessly thrown to the ground is really the fault of the local refuse collection, and not Mr. Dimwitty. “I’m going to throw that can through his window!” yells S. Gottleib. Well, at least Dimwitty has a window, you peeping lunatic. Dimwitty puts his garbage out in a clean, neat little can on time every week (although I don’t know how many years it has been since the metal kind has fallen from favor). He probably sees your disorganized cluster of bags and debris once per week and cringes at the stench. He also doesn’t like it when you continuously snoop to what he’s up to, secretly wishing that you, too, could live the Dimwitty life, instead of asking inane questions like “Goin’ on vacation, or what?”

    Spidey: You don’t have to change into your outfit in order to jump a fence. Now you’re stuck in your costume because your street clothes are on the other side. That, I’m sure will prove to give rise to several plot complications, none of which will hold the slightest bit of intrigue.

53. Abbey the Wonderdog
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Hell, Sawah could die and Rex would bury her with a half-gallon of Ben&Jerry’s.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

54. mere cog in the machine
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I am assuming the progression of the strips is something like; Liz gives Officer Tool the bad news about her sudden attack of vacillating childishness, he is clearly upset and needs to discuss this further, they move indoors and seat themselves on the sofa to hash out their pathetic wonderbread issues. So why in the hell are they both in their frigging socks?? Were they walking around outdoors that way? Is Lizardbreath a Shintoist or something? Is this some sort of lameass Mtigbukake cultural crapola? Did the Duchess of Foobenberg suddenly forget how to draw shoes? What gives??

55. rich
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker without Harold LeDoux? Never again that elegant signature, the boxy lettering, the weird cheek shadings? I suppose that at age 80, it was finally time to ride off into the sunset. He’d been handling the art chores since 1965. Unlike 3-G, MW, RMMD, GT, this was the one strip whose appearance hadn’t changed a whit since my (long ago) childhood.

56. BassoGap
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT – Holy crap…did Coach Wolverine’s girlfriend just offer to make a visit to Mrs. Raptor, to “broaden her horizons”? Josh…this is a slow pitch over the middle of the plate…

    SF – At the last frat party she attended, about 15sec before she “met” Ted, Sally was heard saying, just a bit too loudly, “I am SO drunk!”

    MT – Am I the only one looking at that courtroom and wondering when the procedings will be interrupted by Perry Mason and Paul Drake?

    RMMD – No wonder little Sarah’s got bumps all over: look at the size of the cooties she’s got in her bed. June may be smokin’ hot, but she needs to hire out the laundry/linens, I think.

    9CL – Ok, so Edda’s got some real competition in the “hottie in a form-fitting dress” category. Yow…

    Monty – What a dork. Unfortunately, we’ve all probably had something snag on a drawer or cabinet, haven’t we?

    Luann – Um… Mom just moved up a step in the Milford Milfs depth chart.

    Dilbert – Hits far too close to home for some of my co-workers.

57. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    For all the superfluous exclamation points and question marks that Phantom uses, I’m surprised to see that Phantom snores merely as a single “Z”. And with his costume on, no less.

    I know he’s weird. He doesn’t take off his mask even in front of his wife and kids. He wears diagonally striped briefs on the outside of the outfit. He’s a superhero who uses guns. He doesn’t make the superhero “A-list”. He doesn’t get invited to their parties. He’s got no super powers. Batman doesn’t either, but he’s rich. Spiderman doesn’t return his emails. Even lower level heroes like Iron Man and the Hawk pretend they’re not home when he calls. But you know, Phantom’s plots actually mean something. Ok, the one with his kids was weak, but the one before with the two kids of a jewel thief stealing diamonds from other jewel thieves was cool. This one with some border dispute and a crazed take-no-prisoners revolutionary now armed with a copter looks interesting. Yeah, if I drew them, the action would move at a faster pace, but there’s that unwritten rule that each week you have to limit yourself to one development and then spend Tuesday thru Saturday restating what was quite obvious to everyone who read Monday’s strip. Contrast it to the insipid life of Mary Worthless. When was the last time she jumped from the window of a bank under gunfire from the cops? When was the last time Judge Parker showed a team of marauders mowing down a group of commandos with a surprise machine gun attack? When was the last time Rex Moron had to fight off a mountain lion? Ok, Mark Trail beat up that hillbilly, but did he take care of Lucy the chick who left home to help him out? Now she’s selling her body for drugs in a bus stop in Milwaukee, last I heard. Mark Fists O’Justice Trail just doesn’t give a crap. He’s on to bigger & better. Phantom took the time with the jewel thief’s kids to release the jewel thief from jail so the kids would have a father around. See, happy ending – not some quick hash to bring the story to a hasty close.

    That being said, I’d ditch that crazy ass-underwear, Oh Ghost-Who-Wears-Speedos.

58. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Shylock: How did Slick get caught? I mean, his “fake” ticket worked, as stated in the comic, and he didn’t get a real ticket. I’ve also been to traffic court a few times, and never had to take the witness stand and get cross examined by a district attorney, let alone a private detective, let alone, a canine with a fake tail attached to a cape.

59. joeypants
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Where’s Finger Quotin’ Margo?

60. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    The second panel of MT is taken from the 50’s movie “Attack of the Giant Crab”. In the beginning, a beach chick taunts a crab. Then, through some radioactive leak, the crab grows to be 50 feet high and snaps the woman in two, while being heard to excalaim “Take that, filthy vertebrate!!”

61. bubujin
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    #51: Re Crankshaft. The statistic was 22%. Maybe she meant to say that 22% of the 20-year-olds go on to graduate from college. That or she’s speaking at a Commencement ceremony for a community college–one that Max wasn’t smart enough to complete in 2 years.

62. dlauthor
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    53: TDIET really is a cavalcade of demented misanthropy, isn’t it? In the garbage can one, I particularly like the “RIGHT? RIGHT!” part at the end, where the writers just descend into fits of screaming-to-themselves-at-the-bus-stop madness. And good God, but the complaints are petty.

    As for Spidey, note that in today’s Hot Ghost Rider Action strip, the wall-crawler’s actually wearing a jaunty little backpack, which probably contains his civvies. And can I just say how ridiculous a backpack looks on a costumed superhero? Yeah.

    Also, has anyone told Stan Lee that the Ghost Rider in the upcoming movie is actually graphics made on one o’ them newfangled computer thingies? It’s not like they actually doused Nic Cage in napalm and tossed a match. Although that _would_ make up for The Family Man.

63. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    #62 – yeah, I caught that typo a few minutes after I posted. I was somehow thinking that if I didn’t say anything, it would go unnoticed, like footprints and dynamite casings at the scene of a rock slide. Unfortunately, like the criminals in MT, there is some photographic evidence as well.

64. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    #48: I used to work on a large college campus and that trick did indeed work. In fact, many students would hold on to the same parking ticket for years because it was so effective. Of course, you’d think the lot monitors would eventually wise up but the director for parking services was once quoted as saying “I don’t want my staff using their own discretion”. Slylock Fox would have been a loose cannon renegade there.

65. rich
    May 30th, 2006 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    FBOW: “He’s building his future around you…and a building needs a firm foundation.” Kudos to Lynn for resisting temptation..that remark just cries out for one of her trademark Patterson “giant ass” shots.

66. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Mary Worthless: I’m rooting for Kelly Stirling to walk into her tidy little apartment in building B and find Lou clutching his chest on the floor, his arteries filled with pure cholesterol from years of not only eschewing excercise, but from practicing gluttony to the extreme on anything without a “low fat” label. Kelly’s life will appear shattered as her husband is carted away in an ambulance. However, Lou will recover with the greatest of speed – three to four weeks our time, one hour Worthless time. He will resolve to live a healthy lifestyle and never be seen force feeding cheesecake topped in marshmallow fluff again.

67. Harry Worth
    May 30th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    I am hoping that Kelly walks into the apartment to find a huge puddle of water in the kitchen, Lou in the middle of it with a noose tied around his neck, and the other end of the rope tied around a pipe that has been torn from the ceiling.

    She could go crying to Mary and they could spend weeks talking about failed suicide attempts and what Lou could do to make the next one successful.

68. Hogenmogen
    May 30th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie was supposed to be home to cook Mallicent Margo her evening meal (”More fritters, mule!”). Yet, we see Luann and Tommie in bathrobes, acting as if it were morning. Or, did I miss some critical dinner sequence because I don’t get A3G on Sunday?

69. Scott Gaines
    May 30th, 2006 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Or, did I miss some critical dinner sequence because I don’t get A3G on Sunday?

    They were eating something on Sunday. nudge nudge

70. e
    May 30th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I hate that I am so invested in FBOFW. Ever since the stalker storyline I have tried to ignore the strip like I do B. C. and Mallard F, and I just. . . can’t. Argh! I’ll take the Mountie if Liz drops him.

71. ralelen
    May 30th, 2006 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Re Rich: “Kudos to Lynn for resisting temptation..that remark just cries out for one of her trademark Patterson “giant ass” shots.”

    Best comment eva!

72. bootsybooks
    May 30th, 2006 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: I think Officer Mountie also has stalker potential. He got serious WAY too fast. but how long can grown-ups (and I use that term loosely) dither about where to live?

    Sorry for shouting this but WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS IN SOCKS? Can Lynn Patterson not draw shoes? Is it a Canadian thing? I’m from way down yonder in New Orleans so I just don’t get it.

73. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    May 30th, 2006 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it be tremendously fun if the eagle soaring near the shoreline tried to snatch up the bathing beauty, only to be fought off by the boxing crab and it’s sea anemones?

    Also, isn’t a fearless crab that uses sea anemones to fight off predators about 1000X more interesting than anything that’s ever happened in the Spiderman strip?

    Between Deadliest Catch and this edition of Mark Trail, I now believe that crabs are the baddest animals on the planet! (Sorry Florida alligators. You had a nice run. Start using other animals as tools and you could be re-considered)

74. BassoGap
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, Florida gators *do* use other animals as tools: somehow, they’ve trained humans to bring small dogs to the water’s edge at feeding time.

    Oh, and Bootsybooks (#73): plenty of families go w/o shoes inside the house. Saves the floors, and doesn’t track dirt anywhere.

75. Kelley
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    I do think Jeffey is the Antichrist. Deal or no deal?

    Also I have been in love with Mark Trail for years. Do you think he might be gay?

76. Fred P.
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    #52

    Those U.N. helmets… In real life, I believe, they just say “UN”, not “U.N.” I always found this sort of amusing (being somewhat easily amused), as “un” is French for “one”, and French is just the kind of language those rapscallion U.N. people would speak.

    I wonder if the female U.N. troops’ helmets say “UNE”?

77. Scott Gaines
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    FC “Let’s go, Jeffy! DEAL or NO DEAL!”

    I think that Billy is calling Jeffy out and is going to go beat the shit out of him. Jeffy is so dense he thinks he has finally pulled one over on his older siblings but after Dolly holds him down and Billy kicks in his face with his Doc Martens he will be smirking on the other side of his asshole.

78. Ferd Berfel
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie has been rooming with Margo too long. Look at her smile when she discusses her friend’s marital problems in panel #2. Evil, evil evil!

    Doonesbury – Is this a re-run? ISTR Slackmeyer’s father dying already. Then again, ISTR this strip dying already.

    FBOW – We’re all missing the real plan St. Lynn, the Patron Saint of Patronizing, has in store. To whit: The entire Holy Patterson Clan will move north to Miggiewiggiewhizbang! Think it over. Lizzy Lardass is homesick, Elly has retired, John is thinking about retiring, Mike & Deanna have housing problems, April is growing up too fast, it all fits. Having the Holy Pattersons move to Miggiewiggie to help the poor noble Red Man fits in well with Lynn’s moronic worldview. Elly will volunteer in various activities, Jonh will care for the teeth of the poor noble Red Children, Mike will edit the Daily Miggiewiggian while Deanna works in the Free Clinic, Lardass will continue teach while popping out scads of ‘multi-racial’ whelps with Tonto Doo-right, and April will form a drumming circle and learn how to go ‘trailside’. Others can move up too. Weed can become a (ahem) farmer, Anthony can manage the Miggiewiggie branch of Gordon’s vast business empire, Shannon can be used to teach the locals about the risks of drinking while pregnant, and the Fugawee tribe will welcome all these selfless people with open arms. Yeah, sure.

    GF – This is not going to end well.

    (DT)GT – Omigosh! If the doings in Mark Trail weren’t earth shattering enough, we’re going to see a Ma Raptor Makeover! Love the Kewpie Doll hair, Ma, but the Dorito shirt has got to go!

    JP – This new artist has already shaken things up. I can actually tell the characters apart! That’s must better than having everyone; man, woman, or child, look like Yeardley Smith.

    MT – Shades of Perry Mason! We’re about to witness one of the biggest courtroom shockers in history! And all thanks to a child’s tears… sniffle

    MW – I’m with everyone else. Kelly is going to find Lou doing the cerebral backstroke on the kitchen floor with a tub of Marshmallow Fluff in each hand.

    RMMD – The announcement of Sarah’s neck lump has shocked the felonious Dr. McCheesey to the core. What are his diagnostic skills telling him that Rex and June’s are not? Could it be that Sarah is actually ill? Meanwhile, Skanky “Skank” S. McSkank, the late Harry Ellis’ skanky gal pal, is parked down the road eyeing the Morgan manse rather possessively. She’s even thumbing through carpet swatches. Trouble is afoot!

    SF – Well, now we know where Sally gets it. Just think, if she’d never given birth to Hilary humanity would be spared the horrific effect of those genes. We haven’t seen Sally’s dad because he’s at home chained to the radiator wearing nothing but a zippered rubber hood and an extra large butt plug.

79. gnome de blog
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Remember, Jeffy draws the strip now. He’s reminding his evil siblings that now, after 30-40 years he not only has the cards, he has the whole deck!

    And they’re begging him . . .

80. Bitter Scribe
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Does Slick Smitty have a job as a valet parker? In Chicago, some restaurants were notorious for having valets who would park your car illegally, then throw away the ticket when they retrieved it. You didn’t know anything about it until you received mail notification, by which time the fine had tripled.

81. mere cog in the machine
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    #79: “Trailside” is good!

82. brendan
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    FBFW meta-hilarity: some of the longest, most passionate, and most in-depth posts are about FBFW. No one gives more than a line or two to Gil Thorp, Mary Worth, or Yenny, but get us going on FBFW, and it’s like an LA riot!

83. bootsybooks
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    It looks like the crab picked up a few sea sponges for an exfoliating effect.

    I also likle the “clink tink” sound effect in the Phantom. Maybe her gasp is cuz she caught them pitching pennies or something.

84. RetroVirus
    May 30th, 2006 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Re: foobs in socks– I’m not sure about other Canadians, but everyone I know wears their socks in the house. Shoes are strictly outdoor and would wreck the carpets indoors… or maybe it’s just the people I know?

85. Drifter
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    You want bad foreshadowing? In Dan Brown’s “Angels and Demons”, he witnesses some people in one of those giant fan free fall simulation chambers. He finds out a bit of info about how a yard off fabric can slow a man down X amount. The next line is something like “Little did Robert Langdon know how valuable that information would prove to be”.

    Good writer, my ass.

86. King Folderol
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    JP – Gloria looks rather manly to me, as do many of the JP female characters.

    FOOB – I’m not really sure what Liz has waiting for her at home, or why she went away in the first place. Quick: name three friends of Liz’s that have appeared in the history of FBOFW?

    FC – I’m more annoyed by today’s FC: what a lame little question to be asking…and I wonder how strict this household is that Billy’s so cowed that he’s even asking this question. They should do a whole week of this, culminating with Billy asking, “Is it OK if I go to the bathroom now?”

    I thought Slylock Fox solved important crimes…parking tickets seem beneath his obvious brilliance.

    Other 5/30 stuff:

    Piranha Club – Not only is this in horrible taste, but Al Franken did this joke (much better) in “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot.”

    FW – I hope Marcus gets beat up…these nondescript kids cutting school and hanging out in the mall has been going on and on without any point.

    PBS has a very Dilbertesque feel today. I was half paying attention this morning and thought it was Dilbert at first.

    DM – This joke is so old it makes Gasoline Alley look hep by comparison.

87. mav
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    #65
    re: loose cannon reference

    Back in my college days, a serial masturbator would sneak into women’s apartments and do his business while they were asleep. A sad story, but the campus chief of police managed to make it a tale to live forever when he (unintentionally!) referred to a “loose cannon who is out there running around.” Needless to say, the perp will forever be known as the “loose cannon”.

88. dlauthor
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    85: Yeah, I’m Canadian and my family is socks-indoors. It wasn’t till I moved to the States that I converted to indoor-shoes-as-long-as-they’re-not-wet-or-muddy-or-overly-hyphenated. See, while the States has an disproportionate number of gun-related injuries, Canada has _way_ more stepping-on-Lego incidents clogging up our emergency rooms.

89. Anonymous
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    JP: I didn’t follow the April story line, but was so pleased to see that one of the women in JP, finally, knows how to use a comb. And now you tell me it’s only due to a new artist?

    RMMD: Someone else mentioned this, but no one else seemed alarmed at the alien larva on Sawah’s bed. Combining that with the lump in her neck, no longer Dr. Whatzit looks so appalled. He knows that soon a giant Alien mother is going to burst out of the widdle girl and attack everyone.

    (Old Fogey)

90. fimbulvetr
    May 30th, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Yep. I, and all the Canucks I know take their shoes off at the door. Perhaps it is force of habit from living in a country that has snow and slush for such a large part of the year. It is generally just a polite thing to do, leading to giant piles of shoes at the door when you have a party . . .

91. Todd L
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    The no shoes, socks thing makes sense to me. I know it’s an asian tradition but in the rural northern wilderness it fits too: everyone takes their shoes off when they enter the house. That way you don’t track whatever crud you were stepping in all over everything.

92. Moss_Moses
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I have a different read on Dr. Troy’s head bobble. The guy doesn’t know the first thing about medicine but he knows a shweet butt crack when he sees it. Rex is bent over his freak daughter and his plumber cleavage is smiling right at the ol’ Troyser Trout, thus causing the aroused head motion.

    I agree with the thought balloon spirit Lou about running around sweaty in the public eye. Who wants to see that? Lou doesn’t need exercise, he needs to hook up with like minded people at the Santa Royale NAFAA meetings.

    http://www.naafa.org/

93. Moss_Moses
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    This discussion of feederism on the NAFAA website seems like it was written especially for Lou:

    “The practice of feederism should not be confused with having an attraction for a fat partner. Most fat admirers would support and love their significant others regardless of changes in body size or any other feature of his or her partner’s body. The practice of feederism should also not be confused with the incorporation of food play into sexual activity; the distinguishing aspect is the deliberate manipulation of an individual’s body weight”.

    Maybe Lou’s force feeding is part of the pre-plumper sex food play.

94. Natural Medicine (of Humor) Man
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    I like Diana’s claw marks in the rocks. Wow. She’s got quite the grip…and titanium fingernails!

95. bootsybooks
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    As a southerner, I confess that we were shoeless all summer long, ‘cept for church on Sunday. TMI. But my orignal question for the Foobs was: is Lynn Patterson incapable of drawing shoes? I look every time someone is outdoors, yet I have seen nary a boot.

    Seems unpatriotic for a Canadian to not be able to draw a boot!

96. dlauthor
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    You know who doesn’t take off his shoes when he comes into a house? A Plugger, that’s who.

97. Ianscot
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    In Dan Brown’s “Angels and Demons… “Little did Robert Langdon know how valuable that information would prove to be”.

    Dan Brown’s a hack novelist, a sort of bottom-feeding, bargain bin Umberto Eco. Next to our gripping Kelly and Lou plotline, though, the man is at least… well, let’s call it a draw.

    Bad pop fiction’s not quite as inexplicable as zombie comics surviving past their creators’ deaths. It’s pretty close, though.

98. NotThatGuy
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so I’ll continue the off-topic Dan Brown bashing: I am amused that the reference in question was to the book that afficionados keep earnestly telling me, “…was MUCH better than ‘Da Vinci Code’!”

    Speaking of bad plots, I used to love the Spiderman comic books– so sincere! so full of angst! so unlike all those other grunting he-men in capes! And good stories, with actual web-slinging action, melodrama that contained actual drama and all that. So when me mam told me that Spidey was in the real newspaper, how excited was I? Until I realized that nothing. ever. happened. So my new, adult, thought is, why doesn’t Spiderman just move to a single panel a day, but with some actual plot-movement? Instead of eighteen panels each week (excluding Sunday), we’d only need six and could get rid of all that filler. And get rid of Mary Jane, or accidently kill her in a web accident like whatsherface.

99. David V. Matthews
    May 30th, 2006 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Re. #79: Is it politically correct to refer to nonwhite children as “whelps”?

    I like the trailside comment, however. Am I politically incorrect for doing so?

100. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
     May 30th, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

     I believe that when you’re a crab, and you’re stung by a radioactive sea anenome, you become endowed with the anenome’s special powers. What follows is, of course, a mixed blessing. There are the usual problems of concealing your true identity, the risks of touching yourself, the irritating cigar-chomping hogfish who’s trying to expose you, etc. & etc.

101. David V. Matthews
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

     Has Mark Trail started recycling art from the strip’s, ahem, glory days? The May 16 and May 30 strips contain the EXACT SAME drawings of that bald, muctachioed commissioner. He’s better drawn than the other characters and has thinner linework. Also check out the commissioner box in the May 17 strip.

102. Jives
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

     Luann: Maybe Brad’s mom should talk to him about not making his head look like a Chia pet instead of “wild uninhibited party girls.”

103. Justafoob
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

     Lynn can’t be bothered to draw shoes. It takes too much time. If she could she would go the superhero way and give each character a spandex outfit so that she wouldn’t even have to bother with clothing details, they would all be nudes with their junky trunks just colored in.

     Plus, each member of the Justice League of Foob (the JLF) would have their own really cool alter ego name:

     April could be the Roadsider

     Mike the Wordsmith

     Elly could be Captain Saint.

     Anthony the Amazing Aging Man

     oh, y’all can come up with some good ones.

104. dlauthor
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

     I felt nothing but frustration when I read the Da Vinci Code. The man is an abominable writer, from the first sentence on. I kept getting dragged out of a moderately engaging potboiler story by the recurring thought: “I could do this better.” The book’s success really boils down to its series-of-cliffhangers and simple puzzles any idiot could understand, combined with interesting subject matter. What’s so infuriating is that, with some writing lessons or a coauthor (and a dictionary — look up the meaning of “precarious” sometime, Dan!), he could have made a much better book, even without aiming over the Pluggers’ heads.

105. Hogenmogen
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

     Is the gratuitous shot of Dr. McCheesy in Rex due to the fact that Ted McGinley turns 48 today, or am I just looking for coincidences?

106. Marc
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

     MW – I see in Charterstone there is no need for safety…a generic key will open up your door which does not have a deadbolt…and right next to your door is a doorbell which was “installed” out of perspective. I think that Lou will be found on the floor gasping for air. Everyone is probably right! But a new problem arises…how will the Kellster call 911 with only two rows of buttons on her charcoal colored phone?!

     Meanwhile, Lois must have telekinesis, because there is no way you can make or receive calls on a floating, three row phone with a severed wire.

     Regarding the doorbell from Charterstone’s Building B, it is a sad day in history when Beetle Bailey can draw a lightswitch (which actually looks like one!) in better perspective than a man who once illustrated famous comic books.

     FC – I’m not racist..but I am merely pointing out that if you replace certain words, the comic takes on a whole new meaning. Oh, and make it take place in the 1950s….oh wait the comic already does….

     Dinette Set – Am I the only one who noticed the finger prints on the phone? hah

107. dlauthor
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

     I was just glancing at today’s Foob today, and the line “A year from now, I’ll still want to move home” stuck out at me. And to that, I say: bullshit, you self-absorbed twerp. I know this because I felt the same way when I moved away from my family. For the first year, I really just wanted to move home. Then … guess what? That feeling went away. I made friends. I got to know my new home. That’s what happens.

     There are two options here, really: one, that Lizard feels this way, but Lynn knows better and is going to explore the concept in an intelligent fashion, in which case yay for putting a flaw in your character that might cause her to grow. Option two, however, is more likely: that this facile argument is just a means for hitting restart on the whole Liz-moves-north storyline, and sinking her back into the same suburban miasma as everyone else in the strip.

     One of these options would make me somewhat respect this strip again. The other will make me long even more for it to end. I wonder which it’ll be?

108. Hogenmogen
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

     Who would win in a cage match between Millicent Raptor and “Finger Quotin’” Margo?

     I like Margo, but she’s giving up over 100lbs on the fanged Raptress. Margo’s got the speed, agility and, of course, the finger “quotes” of death!!

109. dlauthor
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

     Ah, “today’s Foob today.” Yeah.

110. Moss_Moses
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

     “today’s foob today”.

     Dept of redundancy dept, dlauthor, dept or redundancy dept.

111. leathermessiah
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

     A3G: For Pete’s sake, Luann! Does it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, the entire universe doesn’t revolve around you? Maybe Tommie is just being NICE, and caring about her friends! Maybe she’s not making a veiled comment about your stupid love life! Maybe she doesn’t care! Ever think of THAT? HUH? Of course not. Sheesh.

     … I think perhaps I’m becoming too invested in this strip.

112. leathermessiah
     May 30th, 2006 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

     It warms my heart down to the cockles to see so much bile spewed in Dan Brown’s direction. I know I liked this place for a reason. I hate Dan Brown. But I love the word “cockles”.

113. Ferd Berfel
     May 30th, 2006 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

     #100/David – They’re ‘whelps’ because they’re Saint Elly’s grandchildren and nothing more. I’ve called Mike & Deanna’s spawn much worse, does that mean I’m insulting Slavs?

     I loathe any future Lardass – Tonto Dooright offspring because I loathe the strip they’ll inhabit and I cringe when I think of the maudlin, treacle-soaked panels Her Foobness’ staff of hacks will wring from their miserable lives.

     I do not loathe them because of their mythical ‘mixed race’ status. ‘Race’ is a fictitious construct used for ulterior motives by people across the political spectrum. It has no basis in genetics or any other hard science. There is only one ‘race’; the human race.

     The cynical development and political exploitation of ‘identity politics’ – a development assisted by legions of well meaning morons like Lynn Johnston – will be seen by later generations as an unmitigated catastrophe. Just when our technology demands that we learn to live together or suffer the consequences, we’re fracturing into thousands of smaller and smaller self selected groups each mewling over percieved ‘wrongs’ suffered at the hands of the ‘Others’. The outcome of that trend is a no brainer.

114. Mibbitmaker
     May 30th, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

     FOOB: “A building needs a firm foundation.” Uh-oh, she’s dabbling in Mary Worth-speak again! Never a good sign…

     MT: Looks like someone let the air out of their “Jack Elrod” beachball and dropped it in the water. Hope it’s not a boxer crab’s enemy.

115. Mibbitmaker
     May 30th, 2006 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

     5/30:

     Curtis: Even in households that never reveal the names of the parents to remain kid-centric – like Calvin’s house… yes, even in the brilliant C&H – I wonder; do couples actually call each other “Dear” like a name? That’s like all the non-”damn”ing characters going “Dang” instead of “Darn”, dang them.

     A3G: Another comic strip character that thinks EVERYthing is about her… and Alan? Or maybe it’s just Lu Ann’s scattered brain? Good thing for her she’s the only idiot in her apartment or she’s really be lost.

     Zits: Yeah, saying the most sensible thing to that must make him utterly worthless to you, Sara. You’re better off, Jeremy.

     And are we seeing a new racial stereotype in comics now; the female person-of-color who hates boys so much that she’ll either badmouth them all to her gal pal (FOOB), or destroy their relationships subversively (Zits)? By the way, yes, Lu Ann, I’m talking about you.

     Spiderman: The man has an empty skull for a head, and it’s on fire besides… and his biggest problem is some lame stuporhero bumping into him? And, yes, Lu Ann, I am talking about you (I did say “empty skull”).

116. Minivet
     May 30th, 2006 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

     My assumption was that Slick had robbed the store in the background immediately after parking, giving the policeman more to worry about than ticketing.

117. Goober
     May 30th, 2006 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

     Yes, portraying the UN as corrupt and incompetent is really outrageous. That Tinsley! Where does he come up with these weird ideas?

118. Skooter
     May 30th, 2006 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

     RMMD – the lump on Sarah’s neck is the air valve that Rex and June use to inflate the size of Sarah’s head.

     FBOFW – When does Liz let Dudley Do Right know that she has just figured out that she is a lesbian?

119. Howard Roberts
     May 31st, 2006 at 8:04 am [Reply]

     Barreto, the new artist on Judge Parker, is Eduardo Barreto from DC Comics and comic books in general fame. He took over for Harold LeDoux, who had basically done the strip since 1952, by himself since 1965.

     Barreto, from Uruguay, should give the strip some new depth, as he is extremely talented

120. Jeff
     May 31st, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

     In Phantom – haven’t heard anyone use the term “mustn’t” since I was five and my grandma told me I mustn’t sit on her couch in my dirty clothes.

121. Julie
     May 31st, 2006 at 11:12 am [Reply]

     He’s Mr. Wright, for f’s sake. I hope she won’t go back to Anthony and his cheesy moustache. My dad phoned me on the way to work to ask who Liz will end up with. It’s nice to know we’re not the only two adults who think about this stuff. Only a year and a half until it’s over.

122. Anonymous
     November 8th, 2007 at 8:35 am [Reply]

     your web site sucks

123. Sparky
     April 23rd, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

     That crab totally made spirit squad. “Gimme a C!” “Gimme an R!”

124. Esorwayskyday
     October 5th, 2008 at 4:47 am [Reply]

     How i may contact admin this site? I have a question.
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