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Presidential follies

Gasoline Alley, 2/20/11

Ha ha, remember when Harry Truman fired General MacArthur? That sure was a punchline-worthy thing that happened, 60 years ago. Anyway, this cartoon disappoints me mostly because Honest Abe doesn’t make good on his implied threat take an axe to those presidents who are horning in on his birthday. Abe Lincoln is the Rail-Splitting Killer! Where’s your atomic bomb now, Truman?

Blondie, 2/20/11

Here’s the difference between Mary Worth and Dagwood Bumstead: Mary looks upon new-fangled technology like Twitter with undisguised contempt, whereas it sends Dagwood in a pathetic paroxysm of anxiety.

299 responses to “Presidential follies”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Popeye — Funny, I always had Olive pegged as a Jerry Springer fan!



  2. Wax Tom Cruise
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    The Dagwood twitter account:
    “I’m eating a sandwich!”
    “Mr. Dithers is a jerk!”
    Repeat as necessary.

  3. commodorejohn
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Allen Wrench (YY57): OK, pal — next time you need to torque down that stretch bolt on your FWD axle mount, you just go call June frickin’ Morgan.
    Oh, now that’s just cruel. Poor June hasn’t gotten to “torque down on a stretch bolt” since she tricked Rex into conceiving Sarah, and you know it.

  4. Chyron HR
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, Dagwood, but as Dick Tracy fans aficionados are well aware, IT HAPPENED!

  5. zenvelo
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Truman fired Macathur 60 years ago…

  6. JudoThrowToy
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    GA – “Another 2 for 1″? I don’t get it either.

  7. Captain Hammer
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait for Dagwood and Wilbur to start following each other on Twitter. Think of the number of sandwich related re-tweets we’re going to see as a result

  8. Hank
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Metacomment: Am I the only one who thinks Josh should just do a weekend round-up instead of trying to do a Sat snark, followed by a quickly posted follow-up for Sunday? As near as I can tell, the only difference would be that the poor SOBs who post on the Saturday snark wouldn’t see their work quickly relegated to the dustbin of history as we all move to the Sunday thread. If anything it might even strengthen the weekend post’s quality as Josh could marshal his venom toward the most deserving strips of the weekend instead of feeling the need to comment on something each day.

  9. Jim North
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Captain Hammer (#7): And thus did the Mayo Vs. Mustard Holy War commence.

  10. bats :[
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    And pretty much indicative of nothing, aside from the smug assholiness…

  11. Peanut Gallery
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    GA – Was Truman in the habit of loudly applauding his own lame jokes? That seems to be what’s going on in the last panel.

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — It’s either the sound of cicadas chirping or Tracy’s cell phone is set on “vibrate”!

  13. Charlene
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    Here we celebrate LOUIS RIEL Day, a patriotic holiday commemorating a man who was executed for treason by the federal government. Who needs a rail-splitter when you got that?

  14. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood hasn’t been the same since his GeoCities site disappeared.

  15. Jim North
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#14): Don’t worry, Dag! It might still be on ReoCities!

  16. IagoPogo
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#8):
    ….and this, my friends, IS the sound of one hand clapping…

  17. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    Lola/One Big Happy — Sunday features not one, but TWO, injury-to-the-eye-motif strips… Dr. Fredric Wertham would be so proud!

  18. Jeff
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    I thought Washington didn’t really chop down the cherry tree. Some parent lied to their kid about George Washington to teach them to tell the truth.

  19. Sirkus Peanuts
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    And here I was after the first two panels thinking Dagwood was finally going senile.

  20. Sirkus Peanuts
    February 20th, 2011 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    When it turns out they’re probably just having the Glamrockers over for group sex. Bang a Gong, everybody!

  21. Poteet
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    GA — Yes, my children, Presidents Washington and Lincoln were respected and revered because they had massive inflated insatiable egos, exactly as depicted here.

  22. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Frazz — How about sending some of those collard greens and ham hocks my way, Caulfield?

  23. Poteet
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    It’s kinda sad when you look forward to Monday because it’s easier to access your comics on that day than on Sunday.

  24. Filthy Assistant
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t Dagwood do computer-related stuff at work? Is he incapable of entering an email, username, and password?

    Oh wait, that’s right. He sleeps and eats all day, and is miraculously not fired, presumably due to tax breaks Dithers gets for employing the mentally handicapped.

  25. Nekrotzar
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    So I was at this concert today, and there was a duet for two bass singers on the words “The Lord is a man of war,” and both singers had very thick dark beards. And I was genuinely disappointed that Mark Trail did not jump on stage and punch both of them.

  26. Red Greenback
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Don’t forget George W. Bush, boys! That guy almost drowned himself in Axe body spray!

  27. dyslexic dog
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#8):
    Metaresponse: I kinda like reading the non-threatening short ones.

  28. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Brevity — With a name like “Maraschino”, shouldn’t there be a statue of George Washington — or W.C. Fields — in the town square?

  29. Chip Whittle
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Compu-Toon: Strangely today I’m not captivated by the question of what’s Charles Boyce’s native language if he has one. Instead I’m looking at the invitation to participate in the KeyPad Kid Project on Facebook, with an illustration that looks like a Dick Tracy’s Crimestoppers Textbook entry. Why? Because the e-mail address is I’m not surprised that Compu-Toon would be on the Plugger of e-mail providers; I’m just amused that someone else got the choice user name “computoon” first and they had to append a number. I’m surprised they aren’t

    Well, OK, and I’m captivated by how the artwork clearly shows a laptop opened in the “I hope nobody sees what’s on my screen” sheltering-for-privacy pose. The people in the booth are not at all friends; the laptop owner is trying to make herself(?) disappear into the furniture until the interloper goes away.

    Dick Tracy meanwhile clearly farmed out its Crimestoppers Textbook to Compu-Toon today. “Keep accurate and timely backup”?

    I’m kind of sorry Dick Locher and Other Guy are leaving the strip before they can establish the official in-character Dick Tracy Twitter Feed. “It’s happening!”

    Gasoline Alley made me laugh, by the way, but I know I’m an outlier regarding stuff in general. I’m the kind of guy who could get a giggle out of a good Webster-Ashburton Treaty riff.

  30. Austria
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    BB: Ha ha! It’s funny, because…um…wait, how is it supposed to be funny?


    reFOOB: School already got to him, it seems.

    H&L: why do I even continue to read this strip

    MG&G: I laughed. That was my favorite movie as a kid. But they’re missing one…

    Jeremy’s Parents: In my head, before I even knew what I was doing, I just smacked them both upside the face. It was glorious and I want to do it again.

  31. commodorejohn
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#29): “My…being…envy…?” I think I loss some of my language skills ever time I look at Compu-Toon.

  32. fluffy
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Judging by the comics, Twitter is really hard to set up an account for, what with needing you to come up with a username and having an email address.

  33. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#31):
    I teach College English to students born and raised in Canada. What you’re seeing here isn’t a foreigner with poor English skills; it’s just someone under 30 who’s had the advantage of our superior education system.

  34. els
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Check out Dagwood’s poses in the last four panels here; take away the dialogue bubbles, he’s doing his Michael Jackson impersonation. Elmo, honey: Back away slowly, and let Mr. Bumstead figure out how to make his own, er, “Twitter account”.

  35. Francisco Arrowroot
    February 20th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know how far away Elmo lives, but if it’s more than five minutes he will have spent more time walking back and forth than it actually takes to set up a Twitter account.

  36. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#yy256): According to Randy Glasberger’s official biography, he was born February 20, 1957*. He’s also credited with being creator of the Better Half. How is it possible for someone to debut a strip before he was even born… unless… unless… RANDY GLASBERGER IS A TIME LORD!!!

    *Happy 54th Birthday, Randy!

  37. TheTJ
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is it slightly odd that Presidents Washington and Lincoln seem star-struck by meeting Truman?
    “Look Abe, it’s President Truman!”
    “Golly George! He fired General MacArthur!”
    “Makes you wish WE had done something important, doesn’t it?”

  38. bbofun
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    @JudoThrowToy (#6): You know how some places have President’s day sales? And some sales are “Buy-one-get-one-free” or “2-for-1″ sales? Well, nowadays, instead of celebrating Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays separately, they’re a “2-for-1″!

    I trust you are now laughing hysterically at the joke.

  39. Rusty
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    I don’t often agree with Mary Worth, but I share her contempt for Twitter.

  40. Mooncattie
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    GA – Wait a minute – if they were using an “ax“, then shouldn’t this strip be called “Gasoline Ally“? I do like Abe reclining in the rocking chair with his hands behind his head. “That’s right, George, he shot me here, right in the back of the head! While I was at a fucking theatre!”

    MT – ….and Mark Trail’s anti-Goat agenda continues….

    JP – She’s not really Constance Darling, is she? She really is Jackie Thornton, isn’t she? They’re not actually starting their book tour until July, are they?

    MW – I wonder if Mary Worth had an identical storyline back in the early 1950′s about somebody’s daughter who watched TV all day long. Or if…GAHHH!!! IS THAT A PICTURE OF THE CLOWN FROM DICK TRACY ON THE WALL?

  41. commodorejohn
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#39): Yep. Being put in a position of agreeing with Mary Worth makes me almost as uncomfortable as I’d be if, say, Les Moore espoused a view I hold dear.

    (But since “life is torment, pain is the only true art, and everyone must smirkily resign themselves to their fate” isn’t my philosophy, I don’t think I have to worry too much about that.)

  42. Maggie the Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#8):

    Since you asked: I, too, would prefer one weekend roundup, so that I can read all of Josh’s reviews and all the comments in one spot. But whatever, I’m just glad to read a new post, LOL.

  43. Maggie the Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    GA- Truman could have said “Yes! I gave the ax to Hiroshima and Nagasaki!”

    It’s funny* because The Bomb(s) wiped out millions of people! Har har har!!! (And am I wrong here? I thought it was “axe”, not “ax”.)

    *In reality WMD don’t really make me heehaw with laughter, I’m not that coldhearted. But hey, WWII did end as a result so there’s that.

  44. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    I’d love to see a storyline where Wilbur taught Dagwood about Twitter. Well not the Twitter part, but the sniping they’d do at each other about half an hour in.

    Dagwood: You call that a sandwich? That’s just a sad and wilted mayonnaise clump waiting to be put out of its misery.
    Wilbur: Well excuse me, antenna hair. We can’t all have the metabolism of a hummingbird.

  45. tb4000
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    GA: So….this is some roundabout way of telling us about Washington and Lincoln’s closet homosexuality?

  46. commodorejohn
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#43): “Ax” and “axe” are both valid spellings, though “axe” is more common. Neither spelling would imbue the proceedings in today’s Gasoline Alley with any significant degree of humor, though.

  47. Josh
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @zenvelo (#5): Egads, you’re right! I fixed.


  48. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#36): Correction: Randy GLASBERGEN (please note the correct spelling of “Glasbergen”) did NOT create the Better Half — Bob Barnes did! Glasbergen has been doing the strip since 1982 when he took over from Vinnie Vinson.

    Here’s a chronological list of BH artists:
    Bob Barnes, Creator (1956-1972)
    Ruth Barnes and Dick Rogers (1973-1979)
    Vinnie Vinson (1979-1982)
    Randy Glasbergen (1982-Present)

  49. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

  50. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    GA — Also, Abe’s actual nose was big enough that I don’t understand the need to give him a bigger one.

  51. NoahSnark
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    I am surprised to not see any snark about Luann’s mom telling her to be like a cockroach . I would post some myself, but don’t want to admit I read that strip of my own free will.

  52. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @Allen Wrench (#yy259):

    That was a great come-back!

  53. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @Charlene (#13):

    Our rail splitter also @dispatch vampires.

  54. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @NoahSnark (#51):

    I think we were all trying to keep Kafka out of the discussion.

    (Ten points to Rowlings for including a Kafka shout-out in Book 5.)

  55. Jaliben
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    As annoying as it is when a long-running series is used to launch a disconnected spin-off, it’s also hard not to be excited about Jim Scancarelli’s new “Dead presidents in rocking chairs bitching about Earth from Hell” strip.

  56. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#53): I hope you don’t mind me “axing”, but is the “Hachette” in “Hachette Book Group” pronounced “hatchet”? (Thanks for posting!)

  57. Esther Blodgett
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Hmmm…at first I thought that was Dick Cheney in the last panel of Gasoline Alley and that the punchline would be “I shot my hunting companion right in the face! How do you like them apples, you Early American freaks?”

  58. Anonymous
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#8):
    Not meaning to be snarky myself, but since it’s his thing, I figure any way he does it is good. I can only ask for MORE lol.

  59. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    I have to admit that I find it unlikely that Washington and Lincoln would get along so well, let alone have such a silly conversation. Maybe being dead does strange things to a person… I’m looking at you, Dead Lisa.

  60. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]

  61. bats :[
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Dang it! We’re back to dumb ol’ Lu Ann. Not my favorite of the gals

  62. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#56):

    Sorry, but I have a major problem pronouncing words. I had to go on-line and I found this:

    Hash (like the food) and et (like the end of the word regret.) Hash-et….Hachette.

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    2/21/11 Strips:

    A3G — Hey, l@@k… it’s “Tweedle Dumb” and “Tweedle Dumber”!

    Phantom — Kit Walker a/k/a The-Ghost-Who-Drops-in-Uninvited…
    soon to be The-Ghost-Who-Sleeps-on-an-Old-Army-Cot-in-the-Guest-Bedroom!

  64. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#59):

    Oh, but George and Abe used to be in framed pictures in school classrooms back in the day. My education was post-Sputnik, but my school still had the two of them, hanging out in the janitor’s offices. Garrison Keillor mentioned them as being in a Lake Woebegone classroom.

  65. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    All in all, I do give points to Dagwood for him wanting to get a Twitter account, as opposed to Mary Worth’s disdain for anything beyond dot mattrix printers, and points also to Dawn for having something that doesn’t suggest having an apple logo, even though it’s not that important.

    And as others have pointed out, Dawn was very patient with her dad while he was doing the whole Kurt thing, even when it seemed that they weren’t inviting Dawn along on any frolics or even out for dinner. It was like she didn’t even exist at that time. So cut it out, Whiner Wilbur.

  66. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    I don’t have a good feeling about this, Jeff. Even though real-life Egypt looks like it’s going to go good, I’m not so sure if this story line is going to let you live.

  67. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    (Referring to Doonesbury. Sorry)

  68. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#62): I know I’ve seen books published under the Hachette imprint… and hatchet=ax, so I wasn’t sure if that was part of the joke.

  69. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:01 am [Reply]

  70. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    A salute to tv tropes. Just one New Adventures of Queen Victoria strip, that’s all. Promise.

  71. Mibbitmaker
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Only got as far as this afternoon writing the comments, didn’t even get to here until now, so oversnarpologies (to coin a word)…


    ReFOOB: Last panel in a Peanuts strip/scene in the Xmas special:
    Lucy: “THAT’S IT!!!”

    Buckets: We make nagging FUN!

    RMMD: It’s worse than I thought! Anthony is a pimp!
    (why do I feel like Brother Theodore saying that?)

  72. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#68):

    The connection does make one look twice. I thought it was a joke at first, too.

  73. KarMann
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    2/21 DT: Looks like somebody dosed off at the scriptwriting today.

  74. Jason1981
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    @Captain Hammer (#7): Hey, don’t forget about Curtis. He’d join in, too.

    Hell, he even stopped over at the Bumstead house , once, because he knows Dag makes the best sandwiches (I don’t remember the date that Curtis strip was shown, though)

  75. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    @Rebecca (#Y1): “Maybe Loretta is hoping that Leroy will Cheney her in the face.” At first read this sounds dirty.

  76. Just some guy
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Someone finally gave that MacArthur guy a well-deserved zinger!!
    Way to go, Gasoline Alley! WICKED BURN

  77. boojum
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    Metacomment: Am I the only one who thinks Josh should just be allowed to write and post his own damn blog the way he chooses? As near as I can tell, a faux-hearty “Hey, let’s all discuss this in public like friendly, reasonable folks” does nothing to disguise a persistent personal agenda of jealous and small-minded carping. If anything, the attempted manipulation pisses me off even more.

    I’m sorry, Josh, not to follow your own (far more gracious) example of silence. I promise to go sit in a corner and quietly ignore the inevitable strident self-defense. But I just get so. Fucking. Bored by this crap.

  78. boojum
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    Sorry. I guess I’m just tired. Delete that if you want, Josh and Uncle Lumpy. Everybody else, please ignore.

  79. Dr. Weird
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley

    Lincoln’s and Washington’s birthdays used to be separate holidays as mentioned above, leading to a glorious four day weekend from school. It certainly gave me reverence for our great presidents. Also the chance to attend an RPG convention down in LA.

    Sally Forth

    I laughed out loud, good work Ces.

  80. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:15 am [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (#74): I’ve found the dates: Aug. 29 to Sept. 5, 2005. I’m having trouble getting the actual comics, though.

  81. Poor Thompson
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    As lame as the punchline is, I do have to give GA credit for having pretty good drawings of the presidents, and extra credit for the awesomely rendered presidential seal. If the artist did indeed draw that by hand, then that is the most impressive drawing in terms of accuracy we’ve seen since the $1000 bill in Dick Tracy.

    Also, I have to admit I’m somewhat enjoying trying to think of other lame axe related president jokes that might have worked…

    Franklin Pierce: “Just keep those sharp axes away from me so I don’t ‘Pierce’ my hand, ha ha!”

    James Polk: “Yeah, and I don’t want to get ‘Polked’”

    Andrew Jackson: “And I’d especially better be careful, because I was called ‘Old Hickory’, which is a type of wood, which, you know, axes are used for chopping, har har.”

  82. Ed Dravecky
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    So Abe Lincoln and George Washington are on first-name basis but “Give ‘em Hell” Harry is “President Truman”? Does Truman also demand no direct eye contact and that other Presidents may speak only when spoken to?

  83. Bill Thompson
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#29): I still chuckle over the way Daniel Webster and Lord Ashburton settled the Maine-Canada border dispute. But I’m baffled by the Gasoline Alley joke. Of course I’m not as old as Scancarelli, who voted against all three of those presidents.

  84. Alison
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:28 am [Reply]

    Dagwood has two teenagers, right? Why can’t they show him how to set up a Twitter account? Why does he need some neighborhood kid to do it? Possibly Dagwood’s kids have run away because they got so tired of their father putting sandwiches before their own needs. I hope they took all the sandwiches in the house with them.

  85. Revenge of Chesnut
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:36 am [Reply]

    My love for U.S. presidents is able to overcome the fact that it was Gasoline Alley who decided to draw several together in comic strip form and enjoy it unironically. I might start reading this comic if wacky dead presidential adventures appeared weekly. I think Teddy Roosevelt should make an appearance and challenge everyone to shirtless mudwrestling. Chester A. Arthur would, of course, refuse to get dirty because he was such an infamous clotheshorse! Maybe I should just learn to draw and make this comic myself.

  86. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Strips

    Slylock Fox: It was Reeky Rat you stupid fox! When you rewound the Count’s security video, you didn’t hear the grandfather clock’s gong, now did you? As Johnny Cochran might say,
    If there was no chime,
    There is no crime.

    Mary Worth: Mary’s not a smart as a cow (Cow and Boy reference).

    Herb and Jamaal: What is the lie? “Jamaal, your head doesn’t look like a massive dick head.” “Jamaal, in Massachusetts you and Herb can’t marry.” What?

    Nancy: And Goldie, I’ll bet Nancy tomorrow finds Sluggo staring at the frozen orange juice because it’s “concentrate.”

    One Big Happy Classic: Ruthie is one fast thinker. I would have said something like, “She looks like some ugly creepy scary clown from the bowels of Hell! I need to change my panties now.”

  87. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:43 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Another couple of sandwiches and Wilbur won’t be able to fit through the kitchen door. Anyone want to bet Dawn is on ordering a pallet of bread and a vat of mayo?

  88. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “So what exactly does a curator do?” asks Paul. LuAnn responds,
    “Good question. I hope someone tells me some day.”

    Dennis the Menace: The original caption probably mentioned something about Dagmars. [*]

  89. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:49 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#70): Definitely worth the time to click. Thanks.

  90. The Real Dan
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Dick Tracy – Dose off? Dose off? Yeah, Dick Tracy makes me think that my dose is off; My dose of anti-psychotics!

  91. John C Fremont
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#yy246): Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    @ElkMeadow (#64): Gee, I have one of those framed portraits. Even as I type, a life-size image of George Washington is staring at the back of my head. I am not creeped out, though. It came from some school in Middle-of-Nowhere, Iowa that closed back in the sixties. I’ve no idea how old it is or whether it’s worth anything, but it’s got a cool frame. And the eyes really do follow you everywhere.

    9CL – Um… uh… if I think this is about sex, I’m a beefwit, right?

    FW – Cayla, just leave. Leave and never look back. I know, I know, Les is just a fictional character in a bad comic strip, but dear lord how I hate that smug little prick.

    Retail – On the other hand, I’m really liking the Val/Cooper storyline. It’s very sweet.

  92. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    @Poor Thompson (#81):

    Hey, watch it with the insults… it really hurts for people to call my jokes lame!

    @Alison (#84):

    You want logic in a strip where the husband is shown eating crap like franks n beans night after night? Blondie supposedly owns a CATERING business, so why doesn’t she save some of that fancy food for Dagwood’s dinner?

  93. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#93): ‘…why doesn’t she save some of that fancy food for Dagwood’s dinner?” For the same reason you don’t serve a Kobe beefsteak to a corgi: neither would savor the specialness as they wolf the food down as quickly as possible.

  94. Flummoxicated
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    MW: How old is Dawn, exactly? It strikes me as a bit creepy (or at the very least, not normal) that Wilbur wants to spend so much time with his adult daughter. Maybe this boring storyline will shift into high gear with Dawn attempting to move out of her father’s condo, which would be high stakes excitement in the Worthiverse.

    FW: Good thing they are all at the hospital – these people are going to sprain their faces with all the excessive smirking going on today.

  95. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I’d like to redecorate my living room using a comic strip theme, but I’m forced to work with a tight budget. After days of scanning the comics for inspiration, I’ve decided that my walls could really use:

    1) The indecipherable scrawls fine art displayed in Monday’s A3G

    2) The green splotches surrounding Tony Amato’s head in Sunday’s Rex Morgan

    I’ll let you know when I get to the FURNITURE!

  96. mayzshon
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#92):

    Sex? Just because we see a close-up of their crotches pressed tightly together? How could you possibly infer sex from that?

  97. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy: Thanks, Joe, for the excuse. Next time I have a boo boo, it happened “when I fell off the toilet.”

    Pluggers: It’s a Reed Hoover! You know it’s good when it has the Reed Hoover imprimatur.

    Luann: Krystal, the voice of the CC on the comics page.

    Get Fuzzy: Yaa!

    Garfield: Dagwood had that same conversation at Red Lobster in 1972.

  98. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @mayzshon (#97): Why is the car a-rocking and where is that buzzing sound coming from? Why Aunt Iris, of course!

  99. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Henry — Carl Anderson’s creation is a helluva lot funnier if we recast him as a Tibetan Buddhist monk who’s shaved his head and taken a vow of silence!

  100. Edgy DC
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Hey, um, Truman: big whoop. Lincoln “axed” McLellan, Johnson “axed” Westmoreland, and Obama “axed” McChrystal.

    Something is strange about the startled and nervous deference these two demigod presidents are showing Truman — as if his status as the only president to drop the big one allows him to carry A-bombs in his pockets in the afterlife and he walks around eternity inflating the detalis of his legacy while the other presidents are all, “Oh, fuck yeah, you were the shit.”

  101. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    JP: Meanwhile, Sam tries to figure out how Constance’s skirt magically became pants and where that big-eared 20-year-old guy in panel 2 came from.

    BB: Wait, is that a “joke” about contemporary technology that kinda uses the technology accurately? Okay, who kidnapped the Walkers and replaced them with someone who actually gives a crap?

    FC: Well, if she has to lift you melonheads, Mommy can probably lift just about anything. With the weight of your monstrous craniums combined with your high stupidity density, she can probably bench press all three of those snowballs at once.

    MW: “I’m worried about us! We never do the things we used to do. Remember how we used to sit for hours at the dining-room table, chewing our beige food squares, while I told you how very lonely I am, how I long for a life-long companion, some woman to keep me company and fill all my needs? And remember how after that, you’d make me a sandwich, and I’d go to my computer and find other children that I liked better than you? Why don’t we do that any more, Dawn? Why?”

    A3G: Pleasepleaseplease, let Paul look at one of those garish scrawls and say, “It’s art . . . of a sort.”

  102. wossname
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    A3G – Apparently this is the year of the monochromatic couple. If a guy with red hair shows up, we’ll know his destiny immediately.

    JP – I think we can ditch the Constance-is-Jackie theory at this point. Plotwise, Jackie only existed so Constance would have someone to throw under the bus.

    MW – Dawn, you’ve seen discus throwers, right? So imitate that motion. Bring that can of cream of mayonnaise soup down and to your right – then swing it forcefully up and around, letting the centrifugal force drive it into Wilbur’s mushy chin. Please? For me?

    Sly – Because he never believes anything Count Weirdly says! That was an easy one.

    Re GA – Ax is a verb. The noun is axe.

  103. teenchy
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Edgy DC (#101): Maybe the startled and nervous deference comes from fear that HST’s itchy button finger could set off nukes in the afterlife?

  104. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Edge City — You’re such a shmendrik, Len!

    RMMD — Since the “Avenue Gentlemen’s Club” was conceived as a venue for PROFESSIONAL DRAG ARTISTS, the “women” Dexter’s ogling are actually female impersonators!

  105. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

  106. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#71): “oversnarpologies”

    may I steal that?

  107. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#102) on Mary Worth: Even if Wilburrrrrr said that soliloquy I doubt he’d realize from his own words what an antithesis to fun and excitement he is. And it would be a soliloquy as Dawn is in her own interesting world of bits, bytes, and no salmon squares.

    @wossname (#103): “Plotwise, Jackie only existed so Constance would have someone to throw under the bus.” Thank goodness you have the rest of the week to buy chocolates to throw from the COTW float on Friday, woss!

  108. Shermy Glamrocker
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Sirkus Peanuts (#20): And it was good!

  109. anon
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Now, what exactly would a Plugger need an “organizer pad” for 2011 FOR? They live such low-level stupid aimless lives of drudgery, one day is much like another day. Drive falling apart old junkheap to Walmart for armloads of $4 prescriptions; hang out all day in a dirty shack waiting for someone to come in and get an oil change or buy a hubcap; stop at the diner and yak with friends, and come home to The Big Chicken for a big greasy low-rent meal before searching for the remote control and falling asleep in front of the TV (that has tin foil wound over the antenna).

  110. Shermy Glamrocker
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    I was worried for Dexter, but now that I see he has a chance to become a partner in a high-end gentlemen’s club, I’m a little jealous. And now that I see I wrote “I was worried for Dexter,” I’m a little worried for myself.

  111. Joshua
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    DT: The Saturday and Monday strips communicate exactly the same ideas, only with a different error each time — on Saturday, it was a punctuation error, and today, it was a spelling error. Maybe on Tuesday, Locher can try it again with a grammar error: “I haven’t sleeped in over 36 hours!”

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – I could be imagining it, but the strip actually seems a little funnier since Samuel Becket started writing it.

    Phantom – Shouldn’t the Ghost who walks be, y’know, walking?

    Slylock“Slylock doesn’t believe the count. Why not?”
    Slylock simply can’t believe the count’s yellow polka-dot underwear, which probably causes more eye damage than any laser yet made.

  113. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    (And maybe the Chronicle will develop some black and white strips later on today.)

    @Aleina (#86): Somehow, I can’t place the name. I’m not familiar with your previous posts, Aleina. Did they all happen to involve advertising for humorous videos online?
    [Uncle Lumpy, should I tell you what I suspect?]

    @Edgy DC (#101): Washington and Lincoln aren’t dead! They live at the Old Presidents’ Home!

  114. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    GA: I could certainly picture David McCallum modeling Caesar or Napoleon, but seeing Lincoln reverse-morphed into him (3rd panel from the end) was a bit startling.

  115. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Kitty Perry.

    Two warnings for Mary Worth.

    a catgirl is fine too. (barely PG-13.)

    Five corgum, one SBD.

    lynx. ^_^

    California’s first dog is a shameless camera whore.



    a pack of corgsqui. SQUEEE!

  116. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I don’t know whether to laugh or shriek at what goes on behind our browser sessions. A couple of days ago, I searched for an image of a popcorn bag to paste into a mashup I was working on. Today this page is showing me a couple of ads for popcorn bags and popcorn boxes by the gross. Time to clear my cache, I guess.

    The boxes are a much better deal.

  117. Chip
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT: Kelly really IS as dumb as she seems! “Mark chased after Ben and told ME to call customs about the diamonds in the fishing lures!” “I have NO idea what’s going on!” Meanwhile, Cherry is exclaiming about Mark, yet emphasizes the wrong word- I think it should be “Where could he BE?”

    Slylock: A search warrant? Really? For someone scaring animals with a laser light? And the Count doesn’t have time to put together an alibi? I guess Slylock’s never seen a wet-dry electric razor before…

    SM: It must be convenient in a universe where all super villians LOOK like the persona they identify with. Mole Man was all pudgy and blind, and now Vampire-dude has a face just like a bat, complete with pointy ears. I mean, what ELSE would he study besides bats? How come Peter doesn’t have four more limbs?

    DT: I ‘dosed’ off weeks ago. Wake me when the story starts to move again…

  118. wossname
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#117): Interesting. It’s showing me ads for hotels, which is something I google fairly often. Them Internets think too much. I should have listened to Mary Worth.

  119. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    DT: Overdosing?

    GT: One of Lini’s criticisms is that when he deals blackjack, the house ALWAYS wins.

    9CL: In many high school dances, such behavior is banned, or at least looked down on by teachers.

    Also, I somehow managed to stumble upon this week’s entire run of DT. It leaves more questions open then it does answer it.

  120. bunivasal
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Gotta love that topical mid-former-century Gasoline Alley humor. Jim Scancarelli knows his audience. He knows they’re technology-shy hermits whose only comfort are the millions of newspapers that they’ve been carefully stacking around their house since the Korean War.

  121. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I’ve read all the posts concerning Gasoline Alley, and find the comments on the relative importance of the pictured presidents and the political agendas of each very interesting. That said, it still doesn’t take away from the fact that President’s Day sucks because the banks are closed, there’s no mail delivery, but I still have to work.

  122. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Wax Tom Cruise (#2):
    The Wilbur Weston Twitter account:
    “I’m eating a sandwich!”
    “My daughter is a jerk!”
    Repeat as necessary.

  123. MrBribarysShrunkenHeads
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    DT – Mordred is Quinn the Eskimo?

    I always thought Dylan’s lyrics were “Gonna wanna Dose” and Locher likely meant “my version of Tracy is pathetic and he’s gonna wanna Doze”, unless Locher DID mean “Dose” and Mordred is Ken Kesey and the vehicle Sam about to rescue them in a school bus named Further.

  124. TheDiva
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    9CL: I understand that a little pain can add spice to the lovemaking, but isn’t kneeing him in the groin a bit counter-productive?

    C’shaft: You would think there wouldn’t be a whole lot of comic potential in an old woman slowly freezing to death while she lies incapacitated in her driveway. You’d be right, but that doesn’t stop Batiuk from trying.

    DT: “Dose off” isn’t a typo, it’s an acknowledgment that this comic strip only makes sense when you’re high.

    FW: After all the fuss over Summer, we needed a reminder that Les is the real Specialest Snowflake of the Universe.

    MW: Nice Wilbur, that doesn’t sound creepy or vaguely incestuous at all.

  125. Mibbitmaker
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

  126. spike
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#92): Re: 9CL Nothing says, “sex” like Argentine tango! Just wait’ll Brooke starts name-dropping famaous tango singers later in the week. I think this whole week will be nothing but “posturing”.

    @Pseudo3D (#120): I agree with your 9CL comment, but these two aren’t in high school anymore.

    FW: Oh, boy! How long before the surgeon comes out and announces that Summer has cancer? Cayla, if you only stop hitting yourself in the head with a brick, you’d lose that headache.

  127. Maggie the Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Dex will only sign on as partner if he can watch the jigglies via his Jumbo Tron on a closed circuit surveillance camera. What would he do with them in person anyway? He hasn’t the faintest idea.

  128. The Ridger
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    FW: So, is this the moment when Cayla sees the light and says “So I’ll be on my way, then” and leaves, or will Les be just too damn fascinating? Perhaps they can have a quiet discussion about which one is dating him – or at least which days they get? Maybe she’ll take a cup of coffee and pour it over Susan? Or will they just all schlump on the couch, the girls staring adoringly at Les while he reads the latest review of Lisa’s Story?

  129. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Revenge of Chesnut (#85):
    If I drank whiskey, I’d raise a glass to U. S. Grant. He wasn’t the best of Presidents by a long shot, but boy, did he kick arse otherwise.
    (For the record, I was a big Robert E. Lee fan when I was a kid-he had a sense of gentility that I admired.)
    Happy Birthday, George and Abe! : )

  130. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @spike (#127): Understood, but that doesn’t make it any less wrong. And besides, even if they are consenting adults in-universe, it’s the comics page in the newspaper!

    (for the record, my high school was a fairly equal mix of liberal and conservative sensibilities, and that behavior still didn’t pass)

  131. word-doctor
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    D the M: It’s been noted that many of the oldest strips are now throwing in material showing that they’re fresh, as opposed to being hepcats. It’s not as easy as it seems, though: while today’s 6 year old boy MAY know about DNA and paternity testing, it’s highly unlikely that he’d be wearing saddle shoes.

  132. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @MrBribarysShrunkenHeads (#124):
    Poor ol’ Furthur, rusting in the woods in Oregon. Fare thee well, old chap.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Ika Musume invasion continues. Season Two announced. (link contains anime, bikinis and moe.)

  134. Jim North
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Crank: Gravity is too strong today?! This sounds like a job for . . . STUPENDOUS MAN! BECAUSE YOU RIPPED THAT JOKE OFF OF CALVIN & HOBBES, BATIUK, YOU STUPID HACK!

    DtM: Strangely enough, the only class that Dennis excels at is Genetics.

    FW: “No no, you misunderstand! She’s only here for the sex! I still need you for the emotional support!”


    GT: Panel One: Mildly interesting plot. Panel two: Incomprehensible basketball gibberish. Panel three: Incomprehensible basketball gibberish. Panel four: Jim asleep at the monitor.

    MT: With wooden love interest Trail finally out of the picture, the Jack Elrod ball finally makes its move in the third panel.

    Marvin: “If you stop uncontrollably shitting yourself, it’s all over, man, it’s all over!

    MW: “I’m also worried about . . . us!” Wilbur says with the sweaty grunt that proclaims his ritual desire to mate.

    You’re a Plugger of the Future if you’ve had your brain removed and put in a jar, and you can’t remember where you put it.

    Slylock: Does our erstwhile fox detective actually have a search warrant in his hand?! Either all of his previous indiscretions have finally caught up with him and he’s been forced by the courts to adhere to the very same law he purports to uphold, or it’s a forgery. Guess which one the smart money is on.

    S-M: ” . . . when their blood turned you into a human vampire?” “Oh, shit! Is that how it happened last time?! I completely forgot! Oh shit oh shit, and I’ve got all these bats! And I’ve been drinking their blood when I couldn’t find anything good in the mini-fridge! Oh shit oh shit!”

    @Chip (#118): RE S-M: Strangely enough, in the original story that introduced Morbius in the comic book, Spidey did have four extra arms at the time.

  135. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Count Weirdly has a vulture pertched on the towel rack, a shark swimming in his bath, and a bone sitting on the floor. Putting on shaving cream before using an electric razor is the least weird thing in this panel.

  136. Jenna M
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: We now know the secret to Etta’s vibrant fantasy life — cocaine!

    Luann: This is one of those Sundays where Luann pretends to be Funky Winkerbean.

  137. Joe Blevins
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Zombie Ziggy gets caught red-handed as it were.

  138. commodorejohn
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Well, for starters, I think curators generally don’t lunge into other people’s personal space with a blank simian expression on their face, Paul.


    FC – Shut it, you worms. The way Jeff draws her, your mother is carrying plenty around 24/7. It’s impressive that she still stands reasonably straight.


    MT – I don’t know, Cherry, but if you find him, see if he knows where the all the mass from your hand disappeared to in between panels one and three.

    NAOQV – Not even fiction is safe!

    Phantom – It’s a bathrobe party, and everyone’s invited!

    Pickles – Well there’s an image I didn’t need.

    SFx – Well, this is less traumatizing than the time we saw Crankshaft in his undershirt and boxers, at least.

    Edison Lee – Either Hambrock doesn’t actually know what a hologram is, or he just gives as little of a shit about making sense as he does about being funny.

  139. Will
    February 21st, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    SFx: He’s called “Count Wierdly” not “Count Sensibly” for a reason. Maybe he enjoys shocking the hell out of himself while shaving.

    CS: Drop the other shoe, already, Batiuk.

    And where are all my black and white strips? The Chron’s on the blink again.

  140. Cloudbuster
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    MT: Despite being shot badly enough to completely incapacitate him, and laying untended, bleeding, in a small boat on the open sea for hours, who wants to bet that when all is said and done, Mark will be sporting the time-honored “arm in a sling” look and by the next plot-line, even that will be quickly discarded? Takers? No?

  141. Revenge of Chesnut
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#130): Fact: I read Grant’s autobiography last summer for fun. He politely skimmed over the details of his own whiskey-swilling, but had awesomely bitchy things to say about his fellow commanders.

  142. Cloudbuster
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Luann: All the underage cast members of Luann displaying themselves in a school beauty pageant has nearly unprecedented levels of potential for creepiness.

  143. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Why is he called the “Ghost Who Walks”? Isn’t walking pretty typical for ghosts? Is this to distinguish him from other apparitions in the jungle such as “The Ghost Who Jogs,” or “The Ghost Who Uses a Segway”?

  144. Jason1981
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#80):

    That’s okay, I still remember how the strip basically went anyway: Dad asks Barry where Curtis is, Barry says he went to some place that makes the best sandwiches. Curtis’s dad keeps guessing where while Barry keeps answering with “no”s . Last panel shows Curtis and Dag eating huge sandwiches (if I remember correctly, with Curtis complimenting Dag’s sandwich-making skills)

    That was one of the few Curtis strips I actually laughed at. Curtis at Dagwood’s house…so weird, but actually made sense –who ELSE would put up with Curtis eating an insane amount of thier food? lol (…Now that I think about it, he’d get along well with Garfield, too. lol )

  145. Hank
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#77): Am I the only one who thinks Josh should just be allowed to write and post his own damn blog the way he chooses? As near as I can tell, a faux-hearty “Hey, let’s all discuss this in public like friendly, reasonable folks” does nothing to disguise a persistent personal agenda of jealous and small-minded carping. If anything, the attempted manipulation pisses me off even more.

    Wow. You take things personally that have nothing to do with you, don’t you?

    When you’re not posting here do you stand by the suggestion box at the local grocery store and scream at anyone who might try drop a note in it?

  146. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Jason1981 (#145): According to Wikipedia, it was part of Blondie’s 75th anniversary. A large number of strips gave homage in one way or another, apparently Curtis is the only one that turned it into a week-long story arc. I guess I kind of like them for that.

    But then I think of Kwanzaa and all the goodwill is shot.

  147. Joshua
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    GA: I wonder why Abraham Lincoln repeats Parson Weems’ myth of the cherry tree to George Washington himself, and Washington doesn’t contradict him. (Shouldn’t Lincoln know better by now anyway?)

  148. Will
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    And just for the record, it’s not “Presidents’ Day.” It’s still officially Washington’s Birthday.

  149. bats :[
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

  150. Joshua
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#144): Well, Casper the Friendly Ghost and other ghosts in his world can fly, so a ghost limited to walking would be something unusual from their perspective.

  151. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    MT – Cherry is so upset by the thought of Mark going missing that all she can say is ‘Jack Elrod.’

    PMP – Words fail me…

    Pluggers – Hold up a second: Did Reed Hoover move? I didn’t think he was from Dallas (and the fact that I’m concerned with this frightens me greatly).

  152. commodorejohn
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#150): bats :[, this is why we love you.

  153. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#151): Yes, but Casper is a ghost in a comic strip, while the Phantom — oh my God, what am I saying?!

  154. Dawn
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Flummoxicated (#95):
    I’m 20. I graduate from Cal State-Santa Royale in a year and a half, but I swear I’m dropping out and moving to the downtown women’s shelter if Wilbur doesn’t leave me the fuck alone.

  155. kkarenb
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – When the old lady fell, the envelope landed in the snow and has been there ever since. When the mailman comes by in his car, will he pick up the letter from the snow and, not noticing the old lady, run over her?

    Are the black and white comics up yet?

  156. Some Guy
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Why is Gasoline Alley celebrating President’s Day by making their title look like the Dutch flag?

  157. Jim North
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#156): It would appear that they are not. Fortunately, I have backups.

    Unfortunately, this means I still get to be tortured by the strips in question.

  158. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#156): That would be hilarious and keeping with the deterministically tragic tone of the strip.

  159. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#146): That sounds like fun, so count me in. Hey, gang… Hank wants us to join him at boojum’s local grocery store for a round of screaming and stuffing the suggestion box!

  160. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): I’ll go – who’s bringing the treats?

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @bunivasal (#121): Pluggers read Gasoline Alley?

  162. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Smirky Pantysniffer: “Will Cayla get upset and leave?? Will Susan drop coffee in gloomy Les’ lap?? Will Summer lose the use of her knee?? Will Susan and Cayla spend the time sniping at each other?? Will Les sit there with a black cloud over his head while Susan and Cayla vie for his gloomy affections?? Will Cayla and Susan finally discover their suppressed attraction for one another?? Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of ‘Funky Winkerbean’!! Same Funk-Time, Same Funk-Channel!!”

  163. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#139):
    Re: FW – Just when I thought Les couldn’t possibly out-douche himself, he does.

  164. Miss Othmar
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#161): Ms. Docweasel.

    February 21st, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#161):

    of course that's just a suggestion

  166. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Revenge of Chesnut (#142):
    Wow! That must have been a good read.
    I think I’ll order this for some good Springtime/Summertime reading. Do you recommend any particular release, should that matter?

  167. Calico
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#150):
    Margo just looks so…cheery. Gaaah!

  168. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

  169. bats :[
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#144): Kit on a Segway would be so cool…

  170. DairyStateDad
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#56): OK, you owe me a new keyboard. And don’t give me any crap about that’s what I get for reading CC while eating my lunch.

    Oh, okay, we can split the cost.

  171. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#78):


  172. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @141 Cloudbuster said:

    Despite being shot badly enough to completely incapacitate him, and laying untended, bleeding, in a small boat on the open sea for hours, who wants to bet that when all is said and done, Mark will be sporting the time-honored “arm in a sling” look?

    The salient Zapruder frame showed him with hand raised to brow in astonishment, leaving the impression that his head was the target. In that case, if my knowledge of Trailian anatomy is correct, I’d expect to see him sporting the classic “ass in a sling” look.

  173. ElkMeadow
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#92):

    I think having George and Abe in the classroom were to help the students to have models to emulate. Having Richard Nixon in the classroom, uh….

    February 21st, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#169):

    and I'm not all that thrilled about them either

  175. Not Worth It
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    MW – “I’m worried about us.” Give up Wilbur. Your daughter doesn’t want to date you anymore after you dumped her for Kurt.

  176. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Rhymes with Orange: Oh, come on! Really, just…just stop.

    Crock: Cher’s farewell tour? Way to be topical. Hey, you know what would have been funny here? A joke. A joke would have been funny.

    Pajama Diaries: As much as I hate Funky and Crank, that’s how much I hate this mother.

    Arctic Circle: When fresh fruits and vegetables aren’t “in season” locally, the supermarkets bring them in from somewhere else! Or do you really think that because it’s snowing where you live then it must also be snowing Texas? (Okay, this year that might be a bad example, but the principle holds.)

    Crankshaft: Man, there’s just nothing funnier than an old lady who ends up flat on her back on an ice-covered driveway while nobody comes to her aid. Nope. Nothing funnier. Unless it starts to snow again and her lifeless body is covered over and not discovered until spring. That would be funny, too.

    MT: Okay, it’s official. The customs agents knew when they picked Ben up that the diamonds were in the lures. So all that time they spent looking through his tackle box and not finding them was just because they’re morons.

    GT: A teenage girl is stumped at how to get onto a website that has been blocked on the school computer. Oh, if only there were some kind of ubiquitous hand-held device that could access the Internet no matter where you were!

  177. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    MW — If we have to watch “The Westons of Wimpole Street,” I demand Arabella as comic relief.

    RMMD — In many states, there are consumer-protection laws specifically written to protect elderly people who are being pressured into buying unwisely. I’ll bet The State Of Morgan isn’t one of them.

  178. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#170): Actually, that does sound neat.

  179. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    PHANTOM — I’d be more touched by this happy reunion if the kids hadn’t come in dead last in the Seeing Kit Again Competition, losing to the dog and the horse. Of course they are extremely strange children, but still.

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#175): all it takes is a bit of brandy. sort of like hassenFOOMPher.

  181. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#78): I’ve got some hot cocoa, if that would help:-).

  182. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

  183. Jim North
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#180): The creepy little urchins should just feel glad that he’s actually allowing them to touch him in any fashion. Only with their hands, the rest of them has to stay at least six inches away at all times, and he’s got a thick layer of spandex ensuring he doesn’t actually feel their grabby mitts in any substantial way, but still.

  184. Jim North
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Looks like the black and whites are back up on the Chron, kiddies. Enjoy your images of Edda kneeing Amos in the crotch and Archie seizing the opportunity provided by an over-reaction shot to sexually assault Veronica.

    February 21st, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#182):

    chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

  186. salmo
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    I’m not submitting this for comment of the week, since it was actually posted on the Gasoline Alley site, but thought it was good enough that people here would appreciate:

    “This is proof that GA is meant for those of us old enough to remember Truman and MacArthur, or possibly even old enough to remember Lincoln and Washington.”

    February 21st, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#185):

    i just forgot what i was talking about

  188. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 21st, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    2/21 (via Portland Oregonian after I gave up on the chron’s B&W section)

    SFx: Sadly Sly and Max were unable to execute the arrest warrant, as both passed out from the stank of Count Weirdly’s bathroom.

    DT: “If I dose off”? Yeah Dick, this might be a bad time to drop acid. Not that us readers would notice.

    RMMD: When David Tennant pops out of the TARDIS to coax an elderly man into investing in a strip club, you know things have taken a turn for the weird.

    Love Is… lacking in toes as well as genitals.

    Blondie: I kind of like seeing that Dagwood is the one employee who’s acclimated himself to Dithers’ Napoleon complex. It explains why he’s kept his job all these years.

    TG: Rina Piccolo presents the X-rated Star Wars fanfic you never asked for.

    S-M: “Dear God, man! Don’t go telling everyone about the atrocious science in this comic strip!”

    S4th: Snap crackle and pop in room-shaking Dolby stereo.

    MW: This is your one warning, Wilbur. If you ever again tell your daughter that you’re “worried about us”, I will bust down the fourth wall, climb into Charterstone, and beat you to death with a dialog balloon.

    MT: The plaintive mating call of the random bolder.

    Mandrake: Next case: the rampant steroid abuse and consequent ‘roid rage among Timber Lake’s police department.

    A3G: Actually Paul was about to say, “But I don’t care about art, either.” Good guess, though, Lu Ann.

  189. Jim North
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#188): Yes, of course, mustn’t forget Dilbert, in which Wally is shown to be an incompetent asshole!

  190. Fashion Police
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    We note that Mrs. Powers has relapsed to dressing in the dark. The bargain basements of Manhattan must be pleased.

    On the other hand we hardly expected Mr. Linski’s geek-chic fashionista look. We’d love to see the entire ensemble. City shorts matching the windbreaker and cherry-red patent-leather topsiders would be the obvious choice.

  191. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    something that I forgot to mention earlier, but today’s HotC pretty much proves what print-delay Mr. Tatulli is on. Two weeks, to the day.

  192. Uncle Lumpy
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I figured out Mark Trail! The US Customs Service faces a smuggling ring so inept, with a plan so bafflingly stupid that nobody capable of tying his shoes can comprehend or even imagine it. So they call Mark, who figures it out before lunch.

  193. Not Worth It
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Is this Technology Acceptance month on the comics page, during which various strips show their characters engaging in acts of technology in hopes of inspiring tolerance in their readership? Maybe it’s an annual thing, and back in the day they used to depict Dagwood carpooling in a Model T every February, Dennis the Menace annoying Mr. Wilson by turning up his radio too loud when the cowboys and Indians were on, and Mary Worth meddling someone by telegraph.

  194. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Folks, you might want to take a mosey over to Medium Large. Piraro’s comment is almost, but not quite the funniest thing to be seen there.

    *goes back to laughing hysterically*

  195. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Readers of cartoonist Joe Martin’s strips (Boffo, Willy & Ethel) will have to use one of these devices in order to fully appreciate his humor:

  196. Bill Thompson
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Funky Wankerbean: It’s a good thing that two women have shown up to insanely obsess over give emotional support to Louse More. He’ll be devastated if that operation succeeds and his daughter makes a full recovery.

  197. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    DT – Panel for panel, an exact replica of Saturday’s strip. How many “you’re a dead man!” daily panels are we up to in this storyline?

    Given his history, you wouldn’t think it would take Dick this long to figure out that the only way out of his dilemma is to kill his prisoner. Then again, time has clearly become stuck in the “you’re a dead man!” “I’ll kill you when you fall asleep!” “He’s right, I haven’t slept in 36 hours!” loop.

    FW – I’ll assume Lisa’s ghost is still in the kitchen making PB&Js just the way Les likes them. If Les is on the ball, by the time she comes out there will be a reverse Oreo cookie happening on the couch.

  198. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#183): Those puppy children seem better equipped to face reality than Kit and Heloise. The puppy children don’t have insanely-cheery grins 24/7, and they have better taste in clothes.

  199. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Jim North (#184): You have a point.

  200. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#186): Started a bit early in the day, eh, Hammy:-)?

  201. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    MT — Wouldn’t it be wonderful if MT strayed way off the beaten track and Mark was rescued by several beautiful mermaids?

  202. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#154): Yes, but Casper is a ghost in a comic strip, while the Phantom —
    …is a comic in a ghost strip!

    (A few days from now, Phantom will be playing with his horse and wolf while the kids watch, and he’ll have this look on his face, like he’s thinking, “Wasn’t there something else I was going to tell them? About some lady? Savarna, maybe? Hm. Well, it’ll come to me.”)

    R=R – AGH! I don’t wanna look at any damn squiggle between Pasquale’s legs! MAKE it STOP!

    Spider-Man – Morbius is shocked, because this time he’s sure that if he’s really careful, instead of a human vampire, he can turn into Man-Bat!

  203. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    DT — And since I’m fantasizing anyway, I’m more than ready for a giant flaming meteorite to hit that granary.

  204. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    DT – In keeping with my theory that Dick Tracy is in reality a French for Dummies comic strip that is missing the French part, we have two more phrases to add. Repeat after me:

    If I doze off, he wins – Si je m’endors, il gagne.
    I have not slept in 36 hours – Je n’ai pas dormi dans 36 heures.

    I just can’t see using these phrases when visiting Paris, though. But I guess it’s more fun than Où est la salle de bains?

  205. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    Speed Bump’s @noreplyguy is topped by The Argyle Sweater’s @noreplyguy

  206. Bill Thompson
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#198): Dick Tracy cannot kill Mordred. That would require Tracy to do something sensible. What will happen is that Mordred will die in an accident while Tracy stands and watches. Then someone will say that Mordred’s death was ironic because [fill in a reason Locher just made up].

  207. Esther Blodgett
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    It’s official: Funky Winkerbean is a soap opera. No one has a real job, and they sit around in hospitals having dramatic confrontations. Coming up: Les meets his evil gay twin, and Wally returns from an extended absence looking like a completely different person.

  208. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#208): Does this mean that Lisa will be coming back from the dead?

  209. Esther Blodgett
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and I was going to drop a note in the suggestion box, but a deranged person with bloodshot eyes and a twitch shooed me away with a mop. Did I miss something?

  210. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I hope Morbius has all the correct legal permits. But even if he does, there may be other concerns. I have a friend who ended up with bat mites in her bed because bats were in her attic. (She non-lethally evicted them with the help of a wildlife expert and provided a bat house on a nearby tree.) Morbius and his lovely bride might want to sleep in a different building, is all I’m sayin’.

  211. Esther Blodgett
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#209): What do you mean, coming back from…?

  212. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#153): No kidding. What I especially love is that Paul’s shocked-face comes all unstuck from its moorings, in true A3G fashion.

  213. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#208): In that case, I hope every actress who has to pretend to be in love with Les demands, and gets, extra pay. And even then, they probably drink between scenes.

  214. Scott Bot
    February 21st, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

  215. Aviatrix
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    I know I’m not supposed to be here this week, but I’m really concerned about the fact that Spider-Man’s buddy there has the bats in a “cage” with bars so widely spaced that most cats could get in and out, and certainly all bats. If his experimental subjects are infected with anything, it is not contained in any way.

    Also, I like the weekend posts and can’t imagine why anyone would call for them to be retired. If you don’t like them, you can skip them; it’s not like anything new will have happened in Dick Tracy. If you have time to read lots of comments, you read starting from where you left off, so it doesn’t matter at all if they are spread over Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

  216. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Aleina (#86): Spam spam spam spam
    Spam spam spam spam
    Lovely spam, wonderful spam
    Marvelous spam, splendiferous spaaaaam…

  217. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#217): Gosh, and she seemed so nice…

  218. spike
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    SM: The good doctor is experimenting with bats, kinda like Chatu did about two years ago in Phantom. Let the ebola begin!

  219. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#202): and ended up as a riverboat captain on the Hudson River. . . .

  220. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#216): Sneak on in anytime! Hot cocoa?

  221. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#202): I was kind of hoping those were CIA-trained anti-smuggling porpoises we saw the other day, and they were about to tip Mark out of his skiff and centerpunch his solar plexus a few times with their snoots.

  222. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL — At least it’s not the unicorn. I keep telling myself.

  223. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#222): Yeah, I’d settle for that.

  224. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Pardon My Planet — To quote Piranha Club’s Spencer: “GRRRROWL!”

    One Big Happy — This strip should be redesigned as a vehicle for Phyllis Diller’s “Avis” character… and the title changed to “One Big Harpy”! (Wouldn’t Avis and Ed Crankshaft make a cute couple?)

  225. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#220):

    I’d kinda like to see him take up that occupation too, but on Riverworld. Now that’d be an innocent abroad!

  226. Poteet
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#225): I feel a little sorry for Avis. She never gets to close her mouth even when it’s cold outside, and I keep thinking her teeth must hurt.

  227. wossname
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#216): I think the idea behind the suggestion was that people would be less likely to get thread-jumped if Saturday and Sunday were lumped together, since Josh usually posts them quite close together anyway.

    I don’t really care, because I generally read them the same way you do. But I would like to think that anybody is welcome to make a well-intentioned suggestion, just as Josh is welcome to ignore it.

  228. wossname
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#227): Uh, Poteet? I don’t think those are her teeth.

  229. Uncle Lumpy
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Ooh, spam out at #86, numbers messed up from there to here. Missed it the first time!

  230. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    One Big Happy: Avis should be suing the beauty parlor for malpractice. Seriously. Exhibit A: Avis’ face. Seriously. That’s the face that launched a thousand nightmares. Seriously.

  231. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#228): my thoughts as well.

    perhaps boojum was having flashbacks to the trollsposter(s) that suggested that we should only snark on the strips Josh put up, or not to snark at all, as Josh was the only funny one here? ;-)

  232. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#224): Since we’re changing strips, how about have Rose from “One Big Happy” take over the titular role in “Rose Is Rose?” Imagine her verbally bitch-slapping those Lucky Charms-floating grinning idiots. Exhibit A: Today’s strip. Granma don’t take shit from nobody!

  233. The Ridger
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#151): Cherry is so upset by the thought of Mark going missing that all she can say is ‘Jack Elrod.’ Well, it is his fault.

  234. curlyfries
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#77): I’m damn glad you posted because I couldn’t agree more and I’m as pissed off as you are. (Plus, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only cynic with a low annoyance point here.)

    Look, if people are that needy that they’re freaking out because their Saturday gems are all-too-quickly forgotten, then their problems really go far beyond a simple solution of Josh’s lumping the weekend together in one post. Especially when presented under the helpful guise of “snark conservation” so that Josh can focus more on dealing with the “deserving” strips (whatever the righteous hell that’s supposed to mean). I read comments on both days, even when they come out back to back. If the Saturday thread is dead when I read a post I wanna respond to, I can still comment on it on Sunday’s thread. I honestly don’t see what the big deal is, except that it proves without a doubt that if you’re in charge of something that everyone enjoys, there’s always gonna be some frustrated managerial type pointing out how you could do it a helluva lot better to please them and no one else.

    So, the local Safeway is open til midnite – wanna meet me at 9PM? I have a bullhorn. 50 extra points if the package they drop contains eggs or liquor.

  235. Old School Allie Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    FW – Funny story – that coat over the chair to Les’ left? That’s not Susan’s.

    It’s actually Lisa’s- she’s sitting there, so unfortunately, Susan can’t – one coffee is for Susan, who now has a screaming headache and the other is for Lisa – two creams, three Sweet n Lows (not going to worry about carcinogens now, are we old girl?) – just like Lisa likes it.

    If Cayla has any self-respect left, she should turn around and go home. And she should forbid Keshia to take Summer on any single car dates.

    GO, CAYLA, GO!!! And take Susan with you.

  236. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#232): the idea of Ruthie joining the Otterloop kids at school warms the wtfockels of my brain.

  237. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#236): Hm, I was just bringing Rose. Ruthie, Joe, and James would rule that school, come to think about it.

  238. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#234): While I’ve seen a few ego-trippy posts like those you describe (Katya, wassup?) actually this one didn’t strike me that way. It seemed like a pretty straightforward suggestion made with good intent. In fact I kind of suspect the Pope will as usual take his own counsel on requests of this sort, while perhaps pronouncing a general anathema ex cathedra upon all comers who roil his domestic tranquility. Wouldn’t be pretty, just sayin’.

  239. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    DT: I think the thing I find most annoying about Dick Tracy over these past three months or so is that it is so outrageously stupid there’s no way to parody it. It must be the way Jon Stewart felt about Dick Cheney.

  240. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#237):

    Naw, man. Nobody takes over Mr. Danders’ turf. Plenty of kids have the gnaw scars to prove it.

  241. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#228): Whose teeth are they? How deep does the conspiracy go?

  242. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#216): @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#113): @Uncle Lumpy (#229): Aleina (the late #86) fooled me. Based on her writing style, (…”hear the president sing a duet”…”hahaha”…), I thought she was the new writer for Dick Tracy.

  243. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#241): It goes all the way to the bone. The jawbone.

  244. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#240): Where is Mr. Danders, anyway? We’ve not seen him for a while. Hmmm….. On Mark Trail’s tiny boat? Asleep in sleeping Iris’s handbag? With Jackie Thornton? Behind Bucky’s door?

    Or—ohmygoodness—accidentally caught up in Wilbur’s sandwich-gorging maw?


  245. Uncle Lumpy
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley — They missed one: “Ax not what your country can do for you ….”

  246. Walker of Dog
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    Plug: Even worse, the Plugger hung a giant wall calendar over his window but hasn’t had occasion to write down a single appointment, family gathering, or social event. Not even square dancing or dialysis?

    JP: This has been Jackie the whole time, taken over by “Constance”, her latest emergent personality. Next up: Britta the Needlessly Defiant.

    MT: Well don’t just stand there, Cherry. Follow Kelly’s lead and starting taking your top off.

    FC: Thel: “If I squat down and lift with my legs, I might be able to. Say, Billy, did you know that’s how you were born? You see, I was in the janitor’s closet in the Buenos Aires Hilton, zonked out on peyote and squatting over a bucket…”

  247. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#244):

    Your rodent-sense seems to be homing into the right strip, all right. But here’s perhaps what we should be asking ourselves: could this be at the root of Mary’s peculiar facial expressions the past few days?

  248. Écureuil Écumant
    February 21st, 2011 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    I.e., right strip, wrong maw.

    February 21st, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#200): WHOO HOO!!!!

    that's squirrel for whoo hoo

  250. Mayzshon
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#207): I don’t know, most soap opera strip aren’t this relentlessly depressing. Plus, Wilbur Weston is far more believable as a sex magnet than les Moore.

    Seriously Adrian Corey doesn’t have low enough self esteem to be attracted to Les.

  251. Maggie the Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    I am totally prepared to be flamed and banned-for-life from this site, but…..REALLY? I didn’t think The Suggestion was without merit or made in a shitty manner, and I’m surprised that anyone other than Josh got their panties in a wad about it. I don’t think that people are really concerned with their “gems” not being read and applauded. My own take on The Great Matter is that two posts back to back jumble up the commenting flow. Personally, I enjoy reading everyone’s comments as much as I enjoy reading the post itself (you all make me LOL) and when posts are put up so close together, I end up missing something and have to go back and forth to see what people are talking about. It’s not really a big deal, and I fully expect to continue living life happily enough “as is” since my opinion doesn’t matter anyway, but for me one combined post would be easier to follow. Po-tay-toe, po-toh-toe.

    February 21st, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#251):
    CAT! CAT!!

    run squirrel run

  253. Maggie the Cat
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#252):

    LOLing… & your name just wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t in all caps with an exclamation mark.

  254. Dr. Weird
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#176):


    Covered with snow and not found until spring? Don’t be silly… the snow will cover her just enough to obscure her prone form so that her son runs her over when he gets back from his errand. That’s comedy writing.

    What are we supposed to feel here? Her son asked her not to go outside, yet she watched him leave and the moment he was out of sight, apparently with malice in her eye, coated up to go to the mailbox. Couldn’t she have just asked him to take the letter to the mailbox on his way out? What was the point here?

    And for that matter, is it just too slick to get up, or did she suffer a spinal fracture and is now paralyzed? If it’s THAT slick, surely she could slide two over to the snow and get up from there.

  255. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#254): I’ve been puzzled by whatever “moral” this story arc is meant to convey. In the beginning she’s being treated like a child, which seems to suggest this is one of those, “Don’t treat seniors like children” morals. But then she immediately goes out to mail a letter, which, as you’ve pointed out, she could easily have asked her son to do. So — seniors are children? Then she slips, and her next-door-neighbour, who appears to be a senior herself, sees her and rather improbably comes to the conclusion that she’s making snow angles on ice.

    So what’s our take-away message here? Old people are stupid? Hell, we’ve already got Pluggers for that.

  256. The Ridger
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#255): The real moral is astonishingly simple: Have your mailbox on the front porch.

  257. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#256): Also: Salt your damned driveway!

  258. Walker of Dog
    February 21st, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    DT: Dick has finally chosen suicide, but he can’t decide between the gun pointed at his head and an overdose. Both methods have their attractions.

    MW: Dawn is so plugged in – not only is she constantly online, but she keeps up with the 6-year-old girl next door using two cans and a string. “What? No it’s just my Dad. He’s on my case again. OMG, Dad! I’m trying to talk to Brittannee.”

    Crank: Old Mrs. Slipanfall begins the slow slide down the driveway and out into the path of a passing plow truck.

  259. Hank
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#251): Heh. Yeah.

    If anything, I was just thinking it would be easier on Josh to just do one post per weekend.

    I never thought my innocent comment would inspire such rancor from anybody.

    I guess Mary Worth is right. Some people do get too wrapped up in the internet. ;)

  260. commodorejohn
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#255): The message of Crankshaft is that old people are awful and deserve all the condescension heaped on them by their children who have to put up with their awful elderly parents’ having the audacity to not be dead yet, just like young people are awful and deserve all the condescension heaped on them for daring to not have their spirits crushed by life yet. Middle-aged people are long-suffering saints, put upon by both sides of the age spectrum, and nobody appreciates them for how superior they are!

  261. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#260): Ooooh! Well, sure. As a middle-aged saint, I can handle that. Stupid old/young people.

    But — then why do I want to punch the middle-aged people in this strip so badly?

  262. Weaselboy
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Tomorrow, I’d like to see Rose cut her own arm off. It won’t help her get up, but at least something exciting will happen.

  263. Aviatrix
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#260): The only moral in Crankshaft is “All life is suffering, and then you die.” It’s kind of like Zen Buddhism minus the hope of resurrection and the exhortation to do good works towards your fellow man.

  264. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#258):

    Crank: Old Mrs. Slipanfall begins the slow slide down the driveway and out into the path of a passing plow truck.

    You know, if this turned into a series of slapstick misadventures it might not be too bad. She’s starts to slip and thinks, “At least I’m moving.” And then in the next one she ends up at the bottom of the driveway and thinks, “Well, nothing else can go wrong.” Then the snow plough comes along covering her over and she thinks, “I have to say, this is at least keeping the wind off me.” And so on.

    It would be cruel comedy, but at least it would be comedy.

  265. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#263): I see your point. But I think you mean “reincarnation,” not “resurrection.”

  266. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#254): Sometimes when old people fall, they just can’t get up. I had gone to a house in our neighborhood to ask a question, and it turned out that the lady who lived there had fallen in her living room and was just lying there in a state of some confusion. So I took the TV, I mean, I stayed and talked to her and tried to figure out who to call. I found her Rolodex and left it where she could get it (she didn’t want me to help her up; she was never quite sure who I was, and who can blame her?), and picked up a card from the realtor who was showing her house and went home and called them. It turns out she used the Rolodex and phone (which I also put next to her) to call her son, and also there was a showing scheduled for about a half hour after I left, so she probably would have been okay even if I hadn’t happened over there.

    So anyway, sometimes they fall and they just stay down, snow or not.

  267. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    It’s time for a new meta-comic about how Rose in Crankshaft and Rose in One Big Happy and Rose Gumbo are all the same person at different times in her life. It would be called “Rose is Rose is Rose.” The music would be by Virgil Thomson.

  268. KarMann
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#265): What? Do you mean to suggest that there’s another religion which does feature a resurrection as part of its beliefs? Why haven’t I ever heard of this? </JackChickStrawman>

  269. Jamus The Bartender
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): Wow. Thankfully she didn’t LOOK like Olive Oyl.
    She must have been amazing in bed.

  270. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#227), @curlyfries (#234), @Écureuil Écumant (#238), @Maggie the Cat (#251) et al.: I’ve enjoyed reading the majority of comments Re: Josh’s Weekend Posts. A couple of people have gotten pissy, but that’s to be expected in a forum where literally anything goes. There’s a feeling of camaraderie you can’t find just anywhere — and Josh’s irreverent banter about the comics has set the pace for all of us who follow him here.

  271. Jamus The Bartender
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: …and here we see how Michael’s writing career got off to a middling start….and it just gets worse. Only God can help you now, Michael, and i’m sure even He’s having some second thoughts.

  272. Jamus The Bartender
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Hm….beauty pageant, eh….?

  273. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#271): I wonder if ReFOOB is going to do some major retcons. What if, for instance, April is retconned out of history, Lawrence is killed before he is outed, and Elly snaps and kills John? Hey, it could happen.

  274. Violet
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#259):

    You know, I think it’s not really about that one suggestion as much as, well, I’ve been reading these comments for some time now, and this is hardly the first “helpful” suggestion we’ve seen from you, nor the second, nor the third…so much so that honestly I am pleasantly surprised if I read a comment of yours and it doesn’t contain some kind of passive-aggressive criticism. I’m not saying this is a big deal, or something you don’t have every right to do if you wish, but on the other hand I do think it’s something you might want to be aware of in terms of how you’re communicating.

  275. Jamus The Bartender
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: This is the first time i’ve EVER seen Slylock with a search warrant. Now maybe he’ll quit hanging around outside Cassandra’s bathroom. Maybe.

  276. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#247): Wow, in a Mary-Danders Smackdown Pedanticathlon, who would win? Danders is certainly cuter in his twitch-nosed seriousness, but Mary has sheer evil on her side.

  277. Jamus The Bartender
    February 21st, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    FC: First thing I thought of was ” Why are Billy and Jeffy making big snow testicles? And asking Mommy to help them?”

  278. Dagger
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to think the Gasoline Alley folks have a lame joke for every president. “I gave the ax to the Freedmen’s Bureau! Heh heh, it set back civil rights for decades.”

  279. littlestevie
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#174): Oh, I thought “flaming Squirrel” ment something else. I didn’t realize it meant a squirrel on fire.

  280. AhClem
    February 21st, 2011 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB – If I remember my plastic refrigerator letters correctly, they are molded (‘moulded’ in Canada) plastic shells with small magnets glued inside. They can only stick to a steel surface one way.

    How did Michael manage to create a backwards “S”?

    [Yes, I'm an engineer and I think about these things all the time.]

  281. curlyfries
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#126):

    Re: 9CL Nothing says, “sex” like Argentine tango! Just wait’ll Brooke starts name-dropping famaous tango singers later in the week. I think this whole week will be nothing but “posturing”.

    Considering Amos is probably imitating a unicorn in the pants area, there really is no end to the awfulness in store for us all. My bet is that Brooke will start out with musical instruments and rhapsodically refer to the “evocative vibrato of the bandoneón” or some such, in an attempt to make you feel like a right doofus for not having worshipped at the altar of Gardel all these years. I’d start a lottery as to exactly what gets mentioned first and when, but that’d mean I’d actually have to care, which I don’t.

    Brooke, meanwhile, is still defensively holding forth on his blog that since he would never choose to engage with any of his beefwit readership personally, he sees no damn reason why he should be compelled to sully himself with such “high tech sociopaths” online. At this point he reminds me of my virginal great-aunt Winnie. Bless her, she had a face like a gumboot and a figure like a sack of spuds tied in the middle, but even into her 80′s was convinced stalkers were following her everywhere and sexual predators were fighting over who was going to get to lurk in her shower.

  282. 150
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Mock if you will, but I think Gasoline Alley has its demographic pegged just fine.

  283. Walker of Dog
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    GA: Today’s script has thrown Presidents Washington and Lincoln for a loop in the second panel. The required thumbs-up, which has changed meaning over time, has caused visible tension on set. Lincoln believes that he is inexplicably signaling his membership in Skull and Bones. Meanwhile Washington feels uncomfortable with what he interprets as Lincoln’s expression of bi-curiousity.

  284. The Ridger
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Every time I come back to this page and see GA I’m struck by just how awkward, if not totally forced, the segue into the “axe” joke is.

  285. Uncle Lumpy
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#281):

    Sounds like a pistol — is she still around? May I lurk in her shower?

  286. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#281): I didn’t know about Brooke’s blog, and it’s as tedious as he is. And then he goes and prints two of my favourite poems, one right after the other: “Jenny Kissed Me” (Leigh Hunt), and “The Little Man Who Wasn’t There” (Hughes Mearns).

    This made me stop and think: “Am I misjudging him? Am I, perchance, attributing a vainglorious intent to what is, in reality, merely the intellectual exuberance of an extremely perspicacious and articulate personage?”

    And then I looked at the rest of his blog and thought, “Nah!”

  287. curlyfries
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#285): She’s long since gone to her virginal reward, but since she used to check the tank just to make sure the Ty-D-Bowl man, that infamous maritime scalawag, wasn’t lying in wait for her, I think you would have had some competition in the Loo Lurker stakes.

  288. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#207): Les can’t have an evil gay twin, that would imply Les is good.

  289. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#286): I quit paying attention after I discovered there’s no space for comments. Blogging without comments is a bit like having a Facebook page with no friends.

  290. Vince M
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#244): Oh geez, are you thinking of that storyline where he’s dressed up like a sandwich for roadside advertising? RUN, MR. DANDERS, RUN!

  291. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Oh, I love this bit from Brooke’s Blog (reprinted here under Fair Usage or anything else that keeps me and everyone else from being sued).

    After admitting that he had blown “a portion of just-imbibed coffee out [his] nose” at the thought of his work having “benefited from a moderating guidance by fans,” he then says this:

    There is one reason why I would as lief submit, lashed to a telephone pole, to hernia surgery with a crochet hook, than subject my work to husbandry by any group: Those who gravitate to my comic art, day after day, do so impelled by a desire to see what my mind has produced for entertainment. It is an issue of trust that I must provide my own ideas, executed my own damn way, for good or bad, undiluted, uncorrupted by any other voice. Art by democracy – other than being a disastrously jejune and fatuous idea – would amount to a dereliction of duty to my reader.

    Still, he’s right. Artists, cartoonists, or any other creative types should perform their acts of creativity without having to look over their shoulder. And as for the “desire” by which these artists’ followers are “impelled” to “gravitate” to his “comic art, day after day,” I know that I for one certainly don’t want him to change. That would leave me nothing but Batiuk’s comics for really good snarks.

    And actually, I’m now beginning to suspect that perhaps his entire persona is actually an elaborate put-on. Is that possible?

  292. AhClem
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#291):

    …Art by democracy – other than being a disastrously jejune and fatuous idea – would amount to a dereliction of duty to my reader.

    Reading between the lines, does this mean that his pretentiousness and verbal diarrhea have driven off all but one remaining reader?

  293. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#292): Perish the thought. He’ll always have us. I doubt he could find more faithful and loyal readers.

  294. DairyStateDad
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

  295. Pseudo3D
    February 21st, 2011 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#291): Don’t know. Brooke’s rants (and frankly, both his comics) seem to be more of seem to be more of a disgruntled 20-something webcomic writer, not a cartoonist in his late 50s(!) who’s been syndicated for almost 20 years, married, with two daughters.

  296. Lisa
    February 22nd, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    You mean Brooke isn’t gay? I could have sworn that Seth is his self-image on the comics page…

  297. Pippy the Ziphead
    February 22nd, 2011 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    There’s no federal holiday called “Presidents’ Day”. The holiday we mark today is Washington’s Birthday.

  298. Fashion Police
    February 22nd, 2011 at 4:11 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y291):
    We seem to recall that someone, perhaps even ourselves, has described Mr. McEldowney’s work as “jejune” and “fatuous.” We hope we are not repeating ourselves excessively, but we partake of his efforts not to marvel at his sagacity but because he draws lovely dresses.

    Seriously though, we agree with Mr. McEldowney that he is under no obligation to “engage” with his readers – or at least we would if he weren’t so snotty about it. However, there he appears to have omitted one or two points: even beefwits are entitled to their opinion and the freedom to express it (although not necessarily on Mr. McEldowney’s blog). Second, many, many fine writers have editors. While this is not the same thing as “art by democracy,” it does imply that a second set of eyes can assist the creative process.

    @Lisa (#296):
    We believe that Mr. McEldowney has asserted that Dr. Juliette Burber is his “me” character. We shan’t speculate about his taste in underwear. Besides, in our view Geoff in Pibgorn is closer to the mark.

  299. The Ridger
    February 22nd, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Pippy the Ziphead (#297): Why is this such a big deal? FWIW, I work for the fed, and we all it Presidents Day.

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