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Plugger sex education: Getting knocked up when you’re fourteen

Pluggers, 2/16/07

You know, sometimes you don’t know how good you have it until suddenly you have it much, much worse. For instance, for all the crimes that Pluggers has perpetrated against humor and good sense, before setting eyes on this I never had to contemplate the concept of a “sexy plugger.” Nor did I have to lay eyes on her “erotic” undergarments. Nor did I have to consider the fact that someone out there, presumably after accidentally discovering their “little plugger” masturbating furiously to Internet pornography, thought back wistfully to his own younger days, when he much more innocently masturbated furiously while spying on his next-door neighbor. Possibly after stealing her underwear off of her clothesline for use as an aid.

Slylock Fox, 2/16/07

Fun observations about this Slylock Fox:

  • The Tooth Fairy is freakin’ enormous. Isn’t she usually depicted as being as tall as a finger is long?
  • The Tooth Fairy has tooth-shaped earrings.
  • The Tooth Fairy wears big high-heeled shoes, in spite of (or maybe because of) the fact that she can fly instead of walking.
  • Kids today apparently get folding money for their teeth, rather than the quarter that was the going rate when I was a kid.
  • When your trivia questions are about things that don’t exist, you can just make the answers up!

Judge Parker, 2/16/07

“Like, oh my God! I’m rich and pretty and American and I never have to wait for anything! Don’t make me vomit all over you! I’ll do it!

56 responses to “Plugger sex education: Getting knocked up when you’re fourteen”

  1. Bombcar
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    That kid has a really large tooth.

    Also – don’t google “furries.” Ever.

  2. Calico
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    How much did the fairy leave the kid? $50 Canadian?

  3. Squid Countess
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Eww – does she wax anywhere before putting on that high-cut stuff? And is that better, or way, way worse?

  4. Allie Cat
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you refer to male genitalia as your “little plugger”.

    Also, in FOOB – is Mike about to grow a pair and quit the magazine. I hope he does, and then his book offer is immediate rescinded.

  5. Mr Froth
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Now I know why my Furries Neighbor released that cathartic scream earlier this morning – they must have seen this Pluggers panel over a morning cup o’ joe…

  6. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Squidcountess, she’s a dog or a deer or some kind of unholy dog/deer/rabbit hybrid. So I guess she’s supposed to be furry. That must be a timesaver.

  7. Holy Prepuce
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Any time there is a discussion of the tooth fairy’s rate, I have to go look at the Perry Bible Fellowship‘s treatment of the subject.

  8. zen velo
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    it looks like the little plugger found the glory hole in that fence.

    I don’t care how smart slylock fox is; I don’t think one should go around calling a troll a fairy….

  9. PeteMoss
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers got no dryers.
    Trolls is fairies.
    Neddy is nauseous.

  10. Black Card
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    The Pluggerwoman is dressed for the fifties, but her undergarments appear to be from the turn of the century.

    You’re a Plugger if your children can learn about fetish-dominatrices by looking over the backyard fence, I guess.

  11. PeteMoss
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    TDIET 2/17 I’ve often wished I had the confidence to be the office Lovable Glad or even Glad Tider. Still, Buttbrain should be nicer to his wife, Helgar….”Mornin’, Honey Brain.”

  12. Sarcastic Acid
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    “Tooth-shaped” earrings, my ass. I think the tooth fairy is a sick, sick lady who likes to wear harvested body parts for kicks. In fact, that kid is going to wake up to find that that so-called money is, in fact, a note that says “I’m going to make a handbag from your kidneys.” The tooth fairy evidently isn’t a very good counterfeiter, either, given that the money actually has a giant dollar sign on it.

  13. TB Tabby
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    1. Actually, go ahead and google “furries.” The notion that all furry art is horrifying porn is one of many unflattering myths about the community. In fact, the majority of furry art isn’t pornographic at all. What you REALLY shouldn’t search for is “guro.” (If you don’t know what it is, don’t look it up. Trust me.)

  14. Melkay
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Black Card #10 – Perhaps the undergarments aren’t hers. My mother used to try embarassing my sister into doing her own laundry by making sure to hang all of her laciest things on the front row of the clothesline. Though, really, I don’t think a turtleneck and “slacks” constitutes being dressed for the fifties.

  15. blessened
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    there goes my theory pluggers are ghosts who don’t realize they’re dead a la the Sixth Sense

  16. PeteMoss
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth 2/17 – Mary would like for Jeff to tell her about “the children” once she’s safely on the plane and won’t be forced to actually see the dreadful little moppets. God forbid she spend anymore time near the Peace Village.

  17. jules
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I hate to tell you, Josh, but my kids get $2 per tooth. And apparently I’m a cheapskate, because my son knows a kid who gets $10 per tooth.

    MW: “Jeff, tell me about the children…why the hell would anyone care about children? I mean, that’s the part I’ve never gotten. They smell bad, and…why are you beating your head against the tray table? Do you need a wider spread of antibiotics? Pilot! Turn this plane around! And get me Dr. Tran on your cell phone!”

  18. Islamorada Girl
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is the tooth fairy.

  19. notapipe
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Shylock Fox is going to get so much irate mail for this strip, protesting that, say, trolls aren’t fairies, and I’m going to be sad, because I won’t get to read any of it.

  20. Poteet
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I think you accidently put in a “your” instead of a “you” in the second to the last sentence, and I blame the Plugger underwear for disturbing your wa.

  21. Douglas E. Iannucci
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s worse, the “sexy” she-dog plugger, or the “sexy” she-birds in Shoe. Aren’t both these strips done by the same cartoonists? Do they mock us?

  22. Moon Mullins
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    The Plugger Undergarments panel makes more sense when you read that the guy who sent in the idea is named Felcher.

  23. dreadedcandiru2
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Could it be? Over the hump for Captain Emo? Cazart! The Delicate Genius has cashed his check! Mistah Patterson? He DEAD!

  24. Chromium
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if the gentleman who submitted this Pluggers caption was actually referring to Internet porn and Gary Brookins had no idea what “online” meant.

  25. Joe
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to pitch a series to HBO called “Real Plugger Sex.” It’ll just be this panel, but with full frontal rhino nudity. Which is something that hasn’t been seen on TV since Rosie went on vacation. Zing!

  26. Jamus The Bartender
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Didn’t Elvis Presley have a ladies underwear fetish? I seem to remember he used to drive around with friends looking around for ladies hanging their unmentionables. The king of rock and roll. Elvis Aaron Presley.

  27. Thats The Spirit
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    Damn, what a way to squelch imagination. And froma cartoonist, no less.

    Kid: “So, fairies are little, winged, kindly, magical creatures?”

    Slylock Fox: “Yup.”

    K: “So in the story about the billy goats and troll, for example, this monstrous, ravenous troll was actually a little winged—”

    SF: ‘Yeah, trolls are fairies too.”

    K: “Uh… Okay, I guess. But in this other folk tale there are creatures called gnomes who live undergr—”

    SF: “Fairies. Same thing.”

    K: “And in Irish myths, the bearded magical creature who hoards a pot of gold under the rainb—”

    SF: “Yep, leprechauns is fairies.”

    K: “And in Lord of the Rings, the ancient race of Elves, are they—”

    SF: “Yep, same thing.”

    K: “But there aren’t any wings in this pict—”

    SF: “Yep! FAIRIES! ALL MADE UP THINGS ARE THE SAME! NOW SHUDDUP!”

  28. BigJoe
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    “Don’t make me vomit all over your!”

    Over your what? Over your what? C’mon, the suspense is killing me!

  29. Rusty
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    This Pluggers is confusing as hell. I could see if the plugger kids were spying on her while she sunbathed nude, but hanging underwear? Plugger moms don’t have underwear hanging on doorknobs etc. in their homes? Maybe they were the inspiration for the protagonist in Portnoy’s Complaint.

  30. Prehumous
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    TB Tabby — 13

    Not all furry art is horrifying porn? Then what about today’s Pluggers? How do you explain that?

    Rusty — 29

    Pluggers are perverts, but they draw the line at lusting after their mother’s undergarments. I mean, damn! That’s sick.

  31. The Porridge Bird
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: That poor cat! He’s suffocating behind the boy’s bed, and the winged slag is giving the prepubescent devil a whole dollar for it!

    She could’ve at least given the cat a fish. Or a barracuda tooth.

  32. Ryan Wyatt
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Further implications of Slylock Fox… The tooth fairy only arrives during periods with impossible moon phases—such as the waxing crescent that could only appear in a daytime sky!

  33. Ramona in CA
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    The tooth fairy has it right. The only way I can imagine wearing high heels comfortably is if I could fly. Good thing I can get through 99% of my life in sneakers or sandals.

  34. Jym Dyer
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    =v= Pluggers – I have a suspicion that the spaniel woman is one of The Unplugged. I mean, just look at her: her hourglass contours are distinctly unPluggerly. Ditto for her hourglass-shaped garment: everyone knows that Plugger Lingerie is a nightshirt with a vaguely suggestive motto on it, obtained in exchange for boxtops from pet food containers.

    Mine, for example, says “30 And Still Frisky®” — which is at least half-accurate.

  35. Poteet
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    # 33 — Good point, Ramona, and me too. When I tried to wear heels, I walked like a drunken duck. Never again, unless I’m offered fairy wings or money.

  36. NotGodot
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Actually, trolls, elves, gnomes, they’re all fairies. So’re Redcaps, Vila, changelings… It’s only in modern times that we’ve limited ourselves to tiny people with wings being fairies.

  37. Dennis Jimenez
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    Wow – Tootsie out cupped Blondie today!

  38. Charles Brubaker
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    #21-

    Yes, “Pluggers” was a creation of Jeff “Shoe” MacNelly. However, he was busy with other projects (Shoe, editorial cartoons, cartoon for Dave Barry’s column, etc.) so he gave “Pluggers” to his assistant.

    When MacNelly died, his assistants, one of whom works on “Pluggers,” took over Shoe.

  39. Steve S
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    They should combine Pluggers and Slylock Fox to get the Tooth Furry.

  40. Reepicheep-chan
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    I got $2 per tooth when I was a kid.

  41. Nate Birch
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    I want to know what the Plugger-ette did to those undergarments that they need an airing out on the line, as that’s usually not the place for such things.

  42. IdolsofMud
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    The terrifying secret those Plugger teens don’t know: That’s a guy.

  43. andreavis
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Who is Pluggers kidding? All Pluggers wear ginormous cotton grandma panties, purchased directly from the Fleet Farm tent & awning section. And by all Pluggers, I mean the male ones, too.

  44. King Folderol
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – She looks like a couple of 12-year olds masturbating to her stretched out bras is just the thing that will get her through another week of pointless Plugger existence.

    SF – My first thought was that none of these things are fairies, except for the tooth fairy and pixies. My second thought was what the hell is happening to my reality that I’m even arguing with Slylock Fox?

    JP – Why does Neddy look like she’s praying? Or soiling herself?

  45. Anonymous
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    That Pluggerfem reminds me of an MST3K quip (don’t remember from where) that went something like: You know that woman has skin like football leather, smells like Giorgio and Marlboro lights, and makes her grandkids call her by her first name.

    Other fun tooth fairy observations: That kid wasn’t missing any teeth until after she stopped by.

  46. whoamItoday?
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    41-Nate Birch says:
    ‘I want to know what the Plugger-ette did to those undergarments that they need an airing out on the line, as that’s usually not the place for such things’

    Umm,after ‘normal’ wearing and usage of delicate undergarments, I only ever hand wash and air dry them. Washers and dryers tend to ruin them. (Of course, by ‘air dry’ I actually mean I hang them on a drying rack indoors but near a window because in most Irvine neighborhoods, outdoor laundry lines are not allowed. Really. Irvine pretty much turns pluggers back at the border.)

  47. andreavis
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    #45 Valley of the Giants, if I’m not mistaken! Hooray for Bert I Gordon and Beau Bridges.

  48. Eridani
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    So, elves are now fairies huh? Next they’ll be telling us that Vulcans are really Borg in disguise. They don’t exist, so I can make up answers! So ha!

  49. Don Iguan
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Damn furries! It’s people like that who make it bad for the rest of the animal kingdom!

  50. Mickey Dugan
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    I have seen a Plugger’s underwear. Today I am a man.

    Will the Tooth Fairy want her dollar back when she realizes that strange thing she’s admiring is actually something the cat spit up?

  51. Tweeks_Coffee
    February 19th, 2007 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Up until I read the comments it hadn’t even occurred to me that it was two kids peeking over the fence. The one the left looks like it’s supposed to be an adult. Like in some kind of deeply disturbing ritual the dad brings the young plugger to the fence to get a peek at the unmentionables of what appears to be a dog.

    Of course that makes the panel all the more disturbing, so that’s actually a relief for me.

  52. Victor
    February 19th, 2007 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    >>When your trivia questions are about things that don’t exist, you can just make the answers up!

    I’ve only been reading for, oh, close to a year now I guess, but this is my first comment. I just want to say that that point had me in stitches. I remember Josh talking about how he could never figure out Shylock Fox because the answer always seems so obscure (Shylock Fox knew Allergic Alligator was the thief because his Uncle’s six grade teacher wore a red scarf to work in 1982…) and I was totally on the same page.

    This tooth fairy strip had me extremely puzzled because usually when they don’t go for a “detective” type strip it has a piece of useless trivia or something. That knowledge inevitably led to me asking myself if Gnomes were real at one point, because otherwise why would Shylock Fox. When I realized that my gut was right, that these things were fantastic creations, I was a little pissed. I’m so glad Josh apparantly felt the same way!

  53. sherri
    February 20th, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Plugger sex education

    That’s how Ted Bundy stated

  54. Victor Von
    February 22nd, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    It pains me to side with Slylock Fox and his cronies, but this is one of my specific areas of geekdom and nerdity. Which means I’m congenitally incapable of not speaking up about this. I apologize in advance.

    The author/artist here is correct. According to Celtic and British folklore, Fairy and Faerie are catch-all terms for supernatural beings, referring to the various alien beings that are part of the mythology. The only bit I’d quibble about is Trolls, which are Norse in origin. There are plenty of big, scary things that hide under bridges in Faerie stories, though.

    I’d link to Wikipedia’s of faerie creatures, but… Well, I’m not particularly fond of the list. Also, “Wikipedia said so” isn’t a very strong argument.

  55. michael householder
    April 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    you would never think that way about them comics but i think they could be more realistic

  56. blipbopbamboom
    August 7th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Moon Mullins says:

    February 17th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
    The Plugger Undergarments panel makes more sense when you read that the guy who sent in the idea is named Felcher

    It’s Fulcher, not Felcher, idiot. Can’t you read?

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