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Kid trouble

Marvin, 3/2/07

All right, Marvin, listen to me: “like that popular toy” isn’t something that any human being would ever in a gazillion years say. An actual human being would say “like Dancin’ Elmo” (and substitute the actual brand name of whatever animatronic Taiwanese-manufactured hunk of plush crap is being demanded by all the little squallers this year for “Dancin’ Elmo”). The only situation in which you’d say “like that popular toy” is if you had a law firm on retainer that was terrified of angering some major toy manufacturing concern vetting your dialogue before you speak it.

Of course, these are all Marvin’s thought balloons, and I suppose that we don’t really know how pre-vocal infants think, so it’s possible that their internal narrative sounds like it was composed by a committee of overcautious corporate lawyers. But I kind of doubt it.

By the way, Floppet, if the way I’m interpreting that last panel is correct, as soon as Marvin starts walking around and shaking his diapered butt vaguely in time to the Barney song, you’ll be finding yourself in a box at the Salvation Army in short order.

Herb and Jamaal, 3/2/07

I find it charming that Ezekiel’s mom looks so horrified that her son is apparently making the essentially arbitrary choice of underwear style by a somewhat whimsical method. Presumably, if she knew the truth — that Ezekiel had gone through some horribly misguided career-selection algorithm that boiled things down to two possible life paths, one of which involving hundreds of thousands of dollars in education expenses for her, the other involving her son being repeatedly punched in the head until he’s left a near vegetable at the age of thirty, and that he’s using random chance to determine which road to take — she’d be totally fine with it.

Family Circus, 3/2/07

P.J. from the Family Circus + pornstar mustache = my weekend ruined, thanks a lot.

212 responses to “Kid trouble”

  1. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Props to Josh for bringing us comics that some of us would never look at otherwise. And in the case of Marvin, reminding me of why.

  2. ohyes
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    PJ is ready to be a villain in Mark Trail.

  3. Galactic Emperor Chennux
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    ATTENTION EARTHERS! DO THE CHARLESTON AND GENUFLECT MADLY! CHENNUS SPEAKS!

    CHENNUX WANT A DANCING PLUSH CHENNUX! FOR OBVIOUS REASONS! POTEET AND GH, STILL GOT THOSE SHOES? DON’T WORRY, THE SYRUP WASHES OFF! HAHA!

    END TRANSMISSION!

  4. Dennis Jimenez
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Who are you kidding, Zeek? It’s clerk in an adult book store or the USPS.

  5. kingkong
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    PJ is gonna be the uncle, you know the one, that goes to ALL his neices’ gym meets.

    I can already hear him humming “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” as he “adjusts” the coat on his lap.

  6. Gabe
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    …I just realized that Jeffy gave PJ a dirty sanchez.

  7. briantologist
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    I dunno, the vibe I’m getting from PJ is more leather man than pederast. The leather man angle does fit nicely into the continual dripping-wet shirtless guy subplot rampant in Mark Trail these days, though; that theory might yet work out just fine.

  8. Tukla in Iowa
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    H&J: So…er…which side of a coin is “boxers”?

  9. Dennis Jimenez
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Re: 6 – And what he’d really been hoping for was a pearl necklace, to go with jumper.

  10. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    kingkong 5: You say that as if there’s something wrong with that.

  11. Frank Drackman
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    #6…Damnnit…I said that in an earlier thread…

  12. AtomicDog
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Aaugh! I didn’t notice that the thread had turned over. ‘sokay, I’ll just repost here.

    #199- (from Hooray for Abbey!) I may be the only human alive that actually liked the Moon Maid stories. It was one of my few Sci-Fi fixes until Star Trek came along.

    Anyone remember the name of the Tracy villain with razor-sharp fingernails? Froze to death running out onto the lunar surface in his underwear?

  13. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    # 3 — Not syrup again! Okay, that’s it. La la la la la — Chennux, I can’t hear you — la la la la la la la la la la…

    Foob — Listen up, other Foob masochists — if you are jonesin’ for a fast easy moment of pure Foob graphic horror, go to the Foobsite and click on “Robin Patterson” under “Meet the Pattersons.” In Foobville, no one can hear you scream…

  14. ohyes
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    PJ’s villainous plan is to try to pet the dog, act scared and start to cry, and then sue that Mark Trail’s ass.

  15. B
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    I must respectfully disagree….PJ + pornstar ‘stache MADE my weekend!

  16. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    12 – See previous thread for reply

  17. Tara
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    In that Family Circus, on quick glance I wasn’t sure if that was PJ with a pornstache or just Anthony from FBOFW. Oh no wait… it can’t be Anthony… PJ’s too manly.

  18. Tweeks_Coffee
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    So what the heck happened to Marvin being 2? he just suddenly regressed back to his infantile stage. Did the writer really have no jokes beyond him standing in the corner?

  19. DaveyK
    March 2nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Anyone care to explain why it took four lines of text for Ezekial to list two choices of career, comprising 3 words total?

  20. FSogol
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Too bad today’s Family Circus doesn’t have a porn soundtrack. That would be awesome. Boom shack-a-lack, woow, woow, woow…

  21. Saxman
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    12 Atomic Dog:

    Anyone remember the name of the Tracy villain with razor-sharp fingernails? Froze to death running out onto the lunar surface in his underwear?

    Purdy Fallar

  22. MrP
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus is much funnier if you just imagine Jeffrey making retard sounds instead of cute comments.

  23. Poppinjay
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Chennus?

  24. AtomicDog
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #21 – Oh yeah! And he had a sister, too. Notta Fallar.

    Don’t you just love Dick Tracy villain names?

  25. majolo
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    In yesterday’s Doonesbury, I I was wondering if he was going for a Phred the insurgent character. Fortunately, it seems to have been just a one-off.

  26. Saxman
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    23 Atomic Dog

    Almost as much as James Bond villains.

    I wish I could get a graphic novel of the whole “Moon” era Dick Tracy. Even though I was around when it first came out, I’ve only read portions of it.

    I once had the lunar buggy model which I bet is now worth zillions. I’m pretty sure it washed out to sea during a sand catle disaster.

  27. Formerly Wu
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Forget pornstar: check out that drab, one-piece jumpsuit PJ is wearing, and the way he’s holding his hands suspiciously behind his back, almost as if they’re cuffed. The ‘stache is only confirmation: PJ just got out of doing hard time. Next thing you know, he’ll be shanking the dog and teaching the other kids how to make hooch out of Sun-Maid raisins and urine.

  28. gh
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    #11 Frank Drackman

    You and at least one other person. Don’t know what it means, but it’s memorable.

  29. Paperback Rifler
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal: I’m kind of hoping that the coin will land on its edge, thereby forcing young Ezekiel to become a Boxer Lawyer, which would be totally awesome seeing as how he could cross-examine witnesses with a crushing right cross as well as call for a cutman in the middle of his summation.

    In any case, I just hope that Zeke knows how lucky he is that he’s been provided with a personalized, nicely printed report on his possible career paths. Back in my day, we didn’t have none of these new-fangled, scientific, fancy-schmancy, rassin’ frassin’ aptitude reports to tell us what we were going to be when we grew up; and I turned out just fine, didn’t I? Well, except for the fact that I’m now all grown up and still don’t know what I want to be. C’est la guerre. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to look for a coin that I can flip . . .

  30. Lettuce
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Someday, a mad comic genius will invent a machine that can transplant the thought balloons of, say, Garfield with, say, Marvin. The result would be truly mad and evil, by which I mean there’d be no recognizable difference.

  31. gh
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    #3 CHENNUX, MASTER OF VISCOUS FLUIDS

    For once, I must thank you. I’m one of those people who, if I’m eating pancakes and I get even a drop of syrup on a finger, must immediately shower. I’ll take the dancing. After a looong shower because it’s been a living hell. Which I believe was your intent. Your LogCabinness. I’m not Butterworthy of your attention!

  32. Paperback Rifler
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    28. gh, I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and all I can say is, you really, really don’t want to know. Really.

  33. Mibbitmaker
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: (singing) Your baby don’t dance, and your bunny don’t rock ‘n’ roll…

    FC: I’m still not sure what this’ll do for Michael Jackson’s weekend.

    H&J: The kid’s list seems like it came from a bad old editorial cartoon. You can get them at Obvious & Unnecessary Labels R Us.

  34. Ribinin
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Marvin used the term “that popular toy” so that when the strip is re-cycled in “Marvin classic” there won’t be any changes needed.

    In fact, now may not be the first time for THIS one.

  35. MossMoses
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    When trials and tribulations
    Become too much for me,
    I find that Grandpa’s shoulder is
    The perfect place to be.

  36. gh
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    #32 Paperback Rifler

    I’ll take that as a “really.” Thanks.

  37. Ribinin
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    23 Paperback Rifler: What fun. Back to 28, pausing for breath at 11 then on to 6. And I STILL had to look it up.

    You were right, I didn’t want to know. Ewwwwww

  38. Desoto
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    On the subject of porn cliches, check out the old stereotypical “gay” cliches in today’s 9C.

    “Oh sweetie, if only…”

  39. dyslexia
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only person who noticed the hairy ringwraith in today’s Marmaduke?

    It stares into my very soul

  40. MossMoses
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    35 is a quote from Lynn’s latest commercial venture, “I Love my Grandpa”. With timeless prose like that, there are going to be some fat cheques in the mail.

  41. rodent
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    PJ does look older. Maybe he is a porn star after all.

  42. AtomicDog
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    #26 – Saxman

    “I once had the lunar buggy model which I bet is now worth zillions. I’m pretty sure it washed out to sea during a sand catle disaster.”

    http://cgi.ebay.com/AURORA-DICK-TRACY-SPACE-COUPE-1968_W0QQitemZ220086336986QQihZ012QQcategoryZ4249QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    Enjoy.

    If you get it and build it, be sure to post a photo. I’d like to see how it turns out.

  43. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Special Alert:

    Curtis is Gunther’s son, not Greg’s. Look at he 2/28 Curtis. This is why Gunther pretends never to remember Curtis’ name – he dares not even get that close to the truth…

  44. Sprocket Widget
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    32 Paperback Rifler

    I should have listened to you. Now I know that Screech is a pornstar.

    Now in my mind PJ grows up to be Screech the Pornstar.

    Some things you really just don’t want to know.

  45. Bitter Scribe
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal is kind of like a vintage Far Side in which a career counselor says to Captain Hook, “Your choices come down to massage therapist or pirate. Maybe I can help you narrow it down.”

    But there’s a difference between the two…let’s see…hmmm…they both use completely incongruous career options as a setup…but what could that pesky little difference be?

    Oh, I get it! One is a completely clunky, strained, contrived pun, and the other is funny!

  46. Trotzenbonnie
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Eff! New Thread!

    GH -
    Fractured Flickers, Fractured Fairy Tales, Mildly Sprained Melodies, Dismembered Disneys….Hell, I remember when Bugs Nipped the Nips, fer cryin’ out loud. Can’t watch cartoons like that these days thanks to all those candy-assed politically correct liberals out there in Holly-wood, she said with tongue firmly planted in cheek. My secret shame is I also loved Beanie & Cecil. Ouch!
    B&W cartoons from the ’30s kick the best ass. They’re all like the Lost Weekend smokes pot on a bad acid trip.

  47. SmartPeopleOnIce
    March 2nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    I suppose that we don’t really know how pre-vocal infants think..

    Tha hell? I suppose you shuffed into this mortal coil fully formed, greeting the midwife in Latin with a full set of teeth. Well, Mr. FancyPantsWeblogger, maybe you’re ashamed to admit it, but I’m not: I, sir, was an infant once! You want to know how pre-vocal infants think? Here’s how pre-vocal infants think: Boobies! All boobies, all the time. Boobies, boobies, boobies.

    And if you’re like me, that line of thinking pretty much sums up your post-vocal years as well.

    PS: Dancin’ Elmo? I thought Marvin meant the Hitachi Magic Wand. Few toys dance like the Magic Wand. Oh yes.

  48. migellito
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    3. chennux mix – look out.. he’s about to get his ‘chennus’ out!

    And I just have to say, I’ve always thought Mrs. Butterworth was pretty hot.

  49. Hogen Mogen
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    Because I’ve sired a child who is still pre-vocal, I have been granted special mind reading powers with said child. This Marvin example is not how they think. My offspring thinks things like “Hello five-day-old General Mills brand Fruity Cheerio I tucked into the corner of my Graco brand highchair! I know you don’t taste like Nabisco brand Double Stuff Oreos, but I’ll mangle you on my gums anyway and spit you out on the nearest grownup wearing a clean, white shirt. Triple point bonus if they act as if they’re in too much of a hurry to change.”

  50. gh
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    #46 Trotzenbonnie

    I believe Fractured Flickers and Beanie and Cecil came out of the same Bob Clampett Cartoooon! studio. I could be wrong. Especially since the former wasn’t a cartoon.

    I too loved B & C. Ah, the sock puppet in a bucket!

    And while we’re talking about Captain Kangaroo, Crabby Appleton, rotten to the core!

  51. Chromium
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    There is a dollar sign on that coin. A dollar sign. On a coin.

    I feel sick.

  52. Kate
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    People keep saying that PJ has a Dirty Sanchez. Stop it. Stop it.

    He looks like Captain Kangaroo.

  53. migellito
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I meant Aunt Jemima. I don’t know what I was thinking.

  54. Kate
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    #13, Poteet: AAAAGH! Widdle Wobbin looks old, old, and before you even get to him, Elly is greeting you with … what is that thing? On her face? A pencil mark? A mouth? The raw-edged slit from which a horrifying alien race is about to emerge? What the Margo does that mark mean?

  55. Zikar
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    JP: It’s nice to see Cedric is still milking his finger-pointing for all its worth, with icy yellow word balloons, no less. The fact that his hand appears gangrenous in the last panel in no way detracts from the awesomeness.

    MT: Unfortunately for Dan, the Elrodball is not there in the last panel to function as a flotation device.

    T-Diet: I like how the son and dog are huddled underneath good ol’ Moms, sad faced and silently watching Alfo prepare to recieve third degree burns from his coffee. They know its only a matter of time before they’re next. Only a matter of time…

  56. jules
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    #13 Poteet: Auuuugh! My eyes! My eyes! Thanks for the link. Always love another reason to mock the Foobs. :)

    I read Meredith’s page too; her dislikes include “the sound of angry voices” and “ugly toys.” I swear to God. Ugly toys. Does she have any idea how many valuable moments her parents have spent at their places of toil to purchase those ugly toys for their progeny?

    Oh God I’ve turned into Michael. Shoot me.

  57. willethompson
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    #47 SPOI and #49 HogenMogen – Two nice chortles to start the weekend. Thanks, my psyche needed those.

  58. gh
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Gotta run, but I remembered recently my friends in college laughing in amazement when I told them I wanted to skip right over middle age and become an 80 year old curmudgeon who could vent and rail and no one could do a damn thing about it. And I got my wish! Without having to be 80! Thank you, everyone, for the opportunity. Have a safe insane weekend.

    Poteet, if the power goes out again, just tape the kitties to you. They love it! Just ask Bucky!

  59. winky
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    that’s ezekiel’s mother walking down the hall? i thought it was his father, but when i read josh’s commentary i took a second look and… sure enough, it has breasts! holy crap, that’s the ugliest looking mama in the history of comics!

  60. Rhekarid
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus makes me want to ask so many questions. Unfortunately they are dark questions that tread forbidden areas of the mind, questions that lead to open chests full of face-melting magic.

  61. Bunnë
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Josh you have been in rare form these past couple of days. Take a little bow.

    Also thank you for not saying “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit” about FC. That phrase is now officially cliché. Everyone take note.

  62. nsr
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Fractured Flickers was Jay Ward.

    “This is Hans Conried, with a final question…

    how do I get out of this little circle?”

  63. cheech wizard
    March 2nd, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Foob links, I apologize if this has already been posted repeatedly, but the following is one of the most profoundly disturbing things I’ve even seen.

    http://www.nedtanner.com/

    The following is quoted verbatim (emphasis added):

    Welcome to Ned’s site! Take a look at his vitals in Ned’s Notes, get a glimpse of his private life under Ned Shots, peruse his portfolio by visiting Ned’s Fame. If you decide that you need a little Ned of your own, you can order him – and when he arrives, you can order him around!

    I think I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.

  64. Crooow
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Too bad the Dysfunctional Family Circus is out of business. Today’s FC is tailor-made for the DFC.

  65. Randy
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    FC–How many of us are wondering what he has planed for Dolly?

  66. Old Fogeyette
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    I LOVED Beanie & Cecil. This blog is quite a trip down memory lane. Or mammary lane. Whichever comes first.

    Poteet, I left you a message at the end of the last thread. You too, Jules, though it was mostly for Poteet.

    I look forward to tomorrow’s comics and coffee.

  67. Jamus The Bartender
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    FC. Doesn’t PJ look like Deputy Garcia from Reno 911?

  68. MossMoses
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    That FOOB website is really vomitous. I just saw Ned Tanner riding My Little Pony.

  69. Squid Countess
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    I would love, love, love to have a clear enough copy of today’s Peanuts (Charlie Brown: You must want to know all about people so that you can help them. Linus: No, I’m just nosey) to frame for my social work office. I’ll try printing it and then enlarging on the copier at work. That will work, I think, but the quality will be poor. I went to Comics.com and Snoopy.com to see if they they had a “buy this strip” option, but they do not. [For Peanuts. You can buy a copy of every FOOB strip. Merry Christmas, Josh!] So I just thought I’d toss it out there to you extremely talented folks that I would like a copy about 2x the size of the original that doesn’t have blurs and toner stains on it, as it would if I did it.
    Because one of you might be able to help me. You can reach me at mywinterhouse@hotmail.com. No naked pics, please!

    Also, welcome back, Dingo! I hope when you picture yourself in front of Tiffany’s, you’re wearing those great Audrey Hepburn shades.

  70. Jamus The Bartender
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    64. Amen Crow, Amen. It was before my time, but I love checking out the archives. Poop does indeed keep PJ’s ‘stache wher it is.

  71. Prehumous
    March 2nd, 2007 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Why would anyone buy a copy of a soap opera strip like FOOBA? They usually move at such a slow rate that any enjoyment derived from them is purely from the overall progression of the plotline instead of just from one particular individual strip [which would be more the case with joke-a-day comics like Peanuts or Garfield?]

  72. Vince M.
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    I recently upgraded to DSL and have just been getting my kicks watching Beany and Cecil on the YouTube.
    The site also has some of the remake show Bob Clampett fan John Kricfalusi did that ran for maybe two episodes – I love the interweb!

  73. Weasel Boy
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Let me guess — today’s FC was guest-drawn by Marcel Duchamp.

  74. Gabe
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I figured someone else may have said something about the unclean hispanic in the last, meandering billion post thread, but it just hit me while reading the comments. Sorry to disturb you.

    Also, the Army doesn’t dive.

  75. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    # 32 — Paperback, you are quite right, but it was too late for me:-O.

  76. KT
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks PJ looks like Pubert from “Addams Family Values”?

    Besides, if Duchamp had drawn him, he’d also have glasses, and the legend “L.H.O.O.Q.” written on his jumper. Or maybe Jeffy would be saying “L.H.O.O.Q.” Something like that.

  77. Happy Happenstance
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    H&J — Many years ago, before I went to college, I took a battery of tests to see what type of career would be good for me to pursue. The first on the list was embalmer. The second on the list was electrolysis technician. If only I had listened.

  78. macb
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Nothing to add to today’s commentary; it’s all on target.

    To Dingo from the previous thread: Thanks man. I met John Stroger as part of my official duties and felt the man, while a lifelong glad-handing pol, was still human and able to connect with hoi polloi, the patients and the staff at the facility I work in. His son has never bothered to visit or see what he is slashing. BTW, for all you non-Chicago readers who are bored and annoyed at all this ingroup Chicago talk, I would like to SECOND Dingo’s shout-out to Chicago’s best Chinese take-out, Wing Hoe. If any of you ever visit Chicago and your hosts/friends/families suggest Chinese, tell them you don’t want any of the inevitably overpriced and usually overhyped pretentious”Pan
    Asian” places in the tony neighborhoods of Chicago (Gold Coast, River North, Lincoln Park/Lakeview, Wicker Park/Uke Village/Bucktown; no, you want authentic, good, tasty, and reasonably-priced Wing Hoe’s, an old-fashioned neighborhood Chinese restaurant in a not-yet-yuppified neighborhood (Edgewater), 1/2 mile west of Lake Shore Drive, take the Foster Ave. exit off the Drive and continue west to Sheridan Road, turn right (north) and it’ll be on your left two blocks up. Before you head for home to enjoy your feast (or after, if you eat in; the decor is old-fashioned neighborhood Chinese restaurant kitsch, nothing “feng shui” or trendy about it), get back on Sheridan Rd. and head north another two blocks, to Bryn Mawr, where you can catch a glimpse of the Edgewater Beach Hotel, a garish, bright pink Miss Havisham-elegantly-decaying wedding cake of a residential hotel that looks like it was time-warped out of 1956 Miami Beach. It has (or had) a great soda fountain in its drug store, but that may be gone now. Incidentally, Chicago has a large number of good Thai and Vietnamese restaurants, and again, they’re mostly in the less-trendy neighborhoods, and they’re not called “Pan-Asian.” Sorry for the long digression.

  79. The Porridge Bird
    March 2nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    From the first two panels, I expected Marvin to say something a bit more Zen.

  80. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    # 54 — BWAHAHA! Kate, I asked that same Elly question in a comment earlier, and in case you missed it, my sister said “it would appear that Elly’s mouth line is WAY too high for her face, making her look as though she were still in need of some sort of operation that never happened when she was small.” But I also really like your alien-race theory.

    # 56 — Thanks, Jules, for giving me another reason to go back to the Den of Lynn. “Ugly toys”? I must, must know more.

    # 58 — Thanks for the tip, gh! Tape on standby.

    # 66 — Thanks, Fogeyette. Actually I used to have eight indoor cats (yes, I’m crazy) but three have now joined the Great Purr. I hope your med administration went well!

    # 77 — Happy, I kind of lost faith in those tests when one told me that I really should be an exterminator. Yeah, right. I’m such a fan of invertebrates that I donate money to conserve the little beasties.

  81. daryljfontaine
    March 2nd, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    KT @ #76 – If only they were half as interesting.

    Amusing? No! Outrageous!
    Their ennui is contagious
    Their antics just enrage us
    They’re Bil Keane’s Family

    They inspire creeping mala-ise
    Their strip runs seven da-ys
    We’d love to set them all ablaze
    They’re Bil Keane’s Family

    (Twits!)
    (The Pits!)
    (Sh!t!)

    The Circus? We don’t need ‘em
    We’re not sure why we read ‘em
    ‘Cause they set our eyes to bleedin’
    They’re Bil Keane’s Family

  82. Dub Not Dubya
    March 2nd, 2007 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Forget Dancin’ Elmo. The current hot thing is Dancin’ Dent. How could you have forgotten, Josh?

  83. KT
    March 2nd, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    daryljfontaine, #81: Bravo!

    Here’s my visual interpretation of the Duchamp version of Family Circus.

  84. Blade Runner
    March 2nd, 2007 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    #47 – On how pre vocal infants think:

    There was a DC comic that we used to read when we were kids (early seventies) called Sugar and Spike. The main characters were pre vocal infants that had conversations with each other, and all the adults could hear was baby talk. There was a llittle baby genius that invented stuff, but I forgot his name. Anyway, my favorite story was when one of them did something wrong, I think that a lamp got broken somehow, the genius baby discovered a great way to escape punishment. All you have to do is say “the cat did it”, and you will get all of the cake and ice cream that you can eat! Sure enough, it worked!

  85. willethompson
    March 2nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    #81 daryljfontaine – Let me be the first to welcome you to Le Societie du la Parody du Curmudgeon. Tres bon! Meter and snark. Both are appreciated.

  86. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    March 2nd, 2007 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    It’s been awhile….

    REFUGEE – T. Petty

    You better watch what you read
    You gotta know how those foobs can be
    June got carried away
    But Dan just made a fool of me
    Mar-go!…yeah, go…
    But remember

    Good snark is hard to find
    Good snark is hard to find
    You got lucky, Gadge
    You got lucky, Kate
    When Josh found you

    You put a post on our blog
    And then you try to float away
    But we don’t feel complete
    If you don’t post another each day
    Din-go! yeah, go!
    But remember

    Good snark is hard to find
    Good snark is hard to find
    You got lucky, Wille
    You got lucky, Frank
    When Josh found you

    Yeah go,
    Just, go,
    But remember
    Good snark is hard to find
    Good snark is hard to find
    You got lucky, Gabe
    You got lucky, Squawk
    When Josh found you

  87. dimestore lipstick
    March 2nd, 2007 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry, but I think “Floppet” is a simply adorable name for a stuffed toy rabbit.

    And Squid Countess; Check your email for the resized Peanuts strip.

  88. Squid Countess
    March 2nd, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    MW – Mary and Ella talking about Higher Truth makes me want to run in to Plato’s cave and bash my head in with a rock.

  89. Uncle Lumpy
    March 2nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    #88 SC -

    There’s a restaurant in College Park, Maryland called “Plato’s Diner.” In a just world, customers would order their food based on shadows cast on the wall from the kitchen.

  90. albuqwirkymom
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Dear Gd,

    Please do not let PJ grow up to be an accountant with a penchant for cinnamon rolls.

    kthxbye

  91. Len
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    #77 (Happy Happenstance) — I took one of those tests when I was in college. My topmost choice was “Priest.” (This seemed rather ironic, as I was a Nice Jewish Boy at the time!)

    Many years later, I found a Gardnerian Coven to study with. Not Priest, silly Aptitude Test. HIGH Priest!

    (From this “occupation,” you do NOT make a living!)

  92. Byron
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Why is Jeffy wearing leg warmers?

  93. cyberpersephone
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: Damn, stone cold! That’s what Ella gets for helping Mary, a verbal back hand.

  94. Len
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    #87 (d. lipstick) — I’m sorry. “Floppet”? As in “Cow Flop”? Or more appropriately, Bunny Flop? (A popular dance craze, I suspect…)

    Here comes Peter Cotton-tail
    Floppin’ down the Bunny Trail…

  95. Len
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    You can’t soil your diapers, like that popular toy… Makes it sorta inappropriate that you’re named “Floppet,” my pet.

  96. Len
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    #92 — Jeffy hopes to grow up to be an extraordinary DANCER (one, two, three, KICK!). Perhaps he’ll study with Seth Applebee of 9 Chickweed Lane, who will be a semi-retired teacher when Jeffy is ready to step into the limelight. Dancers burn out FAST.

    THAT’S why Jeffy wears [margo]-ing legwarmers, Byron.

  97. Luna
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, dahling, there’s a full moon tonight, let’s go out and howl. All is right with the world now that you are back.

  98. MacNabb
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Marvin = Chuckie: The Early Years

  99. fizzy logic
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    #87 – dimestore lipstick – Suzie Derkins of Calvin & Hobbes fame has (had?) a stuffed rabbit named Mr. Bun. I loved how he was drawn (as per everything in C&H) and loved the name – I considered that for my screen name here for a while, but I figured not many people would get the reference. They would think I was referring to the great FOOB Cinnastache himself or something -the horror.

    I had a stuffed Mr. Bun myself for a while, but unfortunately, the cat got to it and ripped his head off. The horror.

    #80 – Poteet – If my one dog and one cat weren’t such prima donnas, this is what I’d be, so I admire you for being able to take care of so many cats. Old Fogeyette has probably gone to bed, but I wish her luck in administering her meds, and getting some sleep herself. Our cat’s been on meds for over a year, and has spent too many nights hiding in the basement, with me getting up to check on her (when she was first sick). Fortunately we have a good vet. Yes, my cat has an internist – as did my late, great beagle Nigel, who I hope is knocking over garbage cans somewhere in the afterlife and rolling in something smelly. For all eternity.

    Speaking of something smelly – I admire your intestinal fortitude to go out and read the FOOB letters so promptly. Looks like from your posts that I needn’t hurry to get caught up…

  100. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    # 97 — Have fun, Luna and Dingo! “THEES eez the night, it’s a BE-EW-tiful night, and they CALL it BELla NOtte…”

  101. Yazoo Street Scandal
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    That’s You Got Lucky, not Refugee.

  102. True Fable
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    #12 Atomic Dog – Not so! I was a HUGE fan of the Moon Series on Dick Tracy! The Moon Man rocked and I dreamed of making Moon Main spark (I knew what I wanted as a kid but didn’t know beans about how to go about doing it. Typical Catholic.)

    #78 macb – I went to Chicago years ago and ate an absolutely To Kill For meal in Chinatown and I can’t recall where it was. My entire memory function is shutting down; this bodes ill.

    #38 desoto – Yes, but I have a lady friend who just as stereotypically croons “ooooh Seth would be so great in real life, look at that bodyyyyyyy” which of course leaves me feeling totally inadequate which may have been the plan all along. If comics didn’t lean on stereotypes once in a while we’d be standing around saying “what? that never happens!” I did that just yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, and got my hat handed to me (albeit in nice ways.) So, er.. where was I… yeah.

    I took Aptitude tests in school, but they never told me what the results were. It was given by the Army, so I took that to mean it was something they couldn’t teach in the armed services so they didn’t have a recruitment angle. I wonder what it was to this day. Probably something like “curmudgeon” or “independant thinker”.

    Poteet, My Queen! – it wasn’t knight either; that was an independant studies kind of deal! :-)

  103. True Fable
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    Moon MAID. Sheesh, if I’d gotten her damn NAME right that would have helped, I’ll bet.

  104. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    # 99 — fizzy logic, I LOVED Mr. Bun, and I was grateful that nothing truly horrible ever happened to him in the strip. I’m sorry your Mr. Bun wasn’t so lucky, but I bet he was magnanimous and forgave your cat.

    And I never thought I’d be an Archie McPhee figure, but the truth cannot be denied, so thank you for this fascinating revelation:-). I SO sympathize you and your hiding cat. I am lucky in that mine take meds and subcutaneous fluid pretty well, but one of my departed cats was a hider. My friends and I are much more enthused about our vets than our doctors. I asked my (good) vet about that, and she said “We vets have nicer patients”:-). And I mentally raise my glass to Nigel — forever may he roll.

  105. fizzy logic
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    #104 – Poteet – thank you kindly – and here’s to all your kitties *clink* …and here’s to Mr. Bun *clink*.

    I hope your horrible weather has improved. It’s raining here tonight. It’s a night to go to bed early, so I think that’s on the agenda. I’ll let Dingo and Luna do the howling for me tonight.

  106. Poteet
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    # 102 — Sir Fable, my True Knight, I too remember Moon Maid. (I just had to correct from Mood Maid — her name is tricky.) I thought she was much too attractive for Junior (he was her husband, right?) even though I kind of wished she’d try a different hairstyle. I do realize that the antennae limited her options somewhat. And her figure, va-va-voom.

    I seem to remember that her father was kinda good-looking too. Though my heart belonged to Steve Canyon. Also, I’m afraid his antennae would have been an issue for me if we’d ever tried a serious relationship, and I can’t remember if he was married.

  107. Team MP
    March 2nd, 2007 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    M&J- Josh says “I find it charming that Ezekiel’s mom looks so horrified that her son is apparently making the essentially arbitrary choice of underwear style by a somewhat whimsical method.”

    I think the mom is really horrified because she just noticed it’s 2007 and Ezekiel is still flossin’ a box and laser lines. Are these lines best modified by “light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation” or “lame ass sportin eighty’s retro”?

    Has that ever been discussed here before? What decade is this? After a hard day of figuring out his future, does Ezekiel flip said coin to decide whether Wreckx-N-Effect or N2Deep made best use of that saxophone sample?

  108. Team MP
    March 2nd, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    yeah, that would be “eighties”…. oh well.

  109. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    March 2nd, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    damn – true ‘nough – that indeed would be “You got Lucky” – good gracious me. I was initially working with Refugee, not that that’s any excuse. My first inspiration was in fact Stop Draggin my Heart Around – which started out as something boxcar something, then didn’t work out. I suppose my heart will go on. Shameful, though, the mistitling – thx for the callout.

  110. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 2nd, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    #44, If I see an ad for the “PJ Circus Sex Tape” I am running in the opposite direction. And not just because of the FBI watchlist.

  111. Luna
    March 2nd, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    I can’t help it, but dang it Michael Patterfoob, would you like some cheese to go with that whine? And why aren’t Deanna’s ears bleeding?

  112. Eric G
    March 2nd, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    #94 – I don’t go for that hippity hop stuff.

  113. whoamItoday?
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    (oh dear, I just noticed that every time I posted from THIS computer, it probably went up as anonymous. And at least one thing I posted a few days ago should certainly have had my non-name. it’s been a rough week kids, sorry)

    so, this will be my last post for some time, the computer is going into a box, and onto a ship. there will be this computer, but I’m sure there won’t be much time to post this week, and then it will be down until we get power supply issues sorted out overseas.

    and, with all the margoing other long lists of stuff to be completed to move us and the kitties (who must be boarded for a month to complete their UK quarantine), the doc. tells me I may have gestational diabetes and must spend half the day getting labs done tomorrow (at least the lab is open) and if the results are not good, who knows how much more time dealing with it before the 12th. I mean, I knew it was likely given my age and pre-pregnancy weight, but it is still a great big pile of almost more than I can handle. .

    and Micheal P. is an idiot. If we could afford a house in friggin southern california on an associate professor’s salary and my salary as a clerical temp then surely he, as a magazine editor with a pharmacist wife, can afford one in frackin’ Toronto. this was one of my favorite comics for years and I’m sorry she didn’t just cut it off. If C&H could just go away, and Foxtrot could just cut back, then FBOBW should have not given in to the whingeing of fans and become this horrible imitation of it’s former self.

    TTFN

  114. Randy S
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Fear not, Floppet.
    Marvin strikes me as the type of baby that never grows any older, because the whole “baby” shtick is the entire reason for the strip’s existence.
    Okay, well maybe he’ll grow just enough to start dancing to Barney, but how long is that gonna last?
    Bottom line, Floppet will last as long as the consumer base demands a Floppet character.

  115. brendan
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    that’s a bil. you can tell by the weird perspective with the baseboards.

  116. Martin
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    I’m actually kinda worried about Marvin’s anime eyes in the last panel. Maybe the stuffed animal will turn into one of those freaky fighting things and shoot lasers at Marvin. Hopefully.

  117. Cornwhacker
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    116: I’d be more concerned about Poteet’s five cats. That’s just the right number to form Voltron, you know.

  118. Anonymous
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Man, how I wish a box of donuts would materialize on my lap right about now.

  119. nsr
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    I see today’s Family Circus as a poignant comment on Jeffy’s subconcious acknowledgement that they’re all trapped in a purgatory of eternal childhood– perhaps a reflection of the fact that the adult Jeff(y) who drew the darn thing is still working for his old man. Also, the fact that their heads are turned three-quarters, but the area behind their ears is in profile, is a disorienting twist of perspective, addressed but not rectified by the architectural precision of the baseboard.

  120. Len
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Rat and Pig use their sewing machine… er, to make leg-warmers for Jeffy.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    (The sewing machine still loves Satan.)

    http://news.yahoo.com/comics/pearlsbeforeswine;_ylt=Amrinnm9J2kazk0_uYt.M6T5cLQF

  121. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    # 113 — WhoamItoday, I wish you well as you prepare to move and deal with medical stuff. And I hope you and your kitties willl enjoy your stay. My only visit to England was at this time of year a few decades ago, and it was loverly.

    # 117 — Cornwhacker, I didn’t know what Voltron was, so I just had an entertaining read in Wikipedia. Now I’m trying to imagine my five old cats being successfully commanded to do anything in unison besides nap. I envision their Voltron as being very laid-back and easily distracted by tuna-flavored treats.

  122. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    And I know it’s time to go to bed because I just found myself going back to the last post and staring at Queen of Diamonds and imagining Peter Sellers in that getup. Night-night.

  123. Trilobite
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Please take a moment to examine the first panel of Saturday’s Judge Parker. What do you notice? That’s right!

    While Neddy is babbling on about how she’s going to paint nekkid people, in the foreground you can clearly see two guys engaged in a deep conversation about a picture of a My Little Pony. Why am I suddenly getting the impression that the application for this prestigious French art institute involved copying a cartoon turtle off a matchbook cover?

  124. reader-who-posts
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    FC: I wish that I knew the name of the street they live on so that I could put together P.J.’s porn name, mainly because his first name would be Barfy. I’m going to imagine that they live on Penisface Lane.

    A3G: Oh Margy, sweet Margo – only you would be upset that your latest crush may have more than one cancerous, father-less niece.

    MT: Dan’s not off-balance, he’s just doing the Funky Chicken.

    Slylock Fox: What is a pig doing in the suburbs? Also, they missed the seventh difference – in the second picture the boy is masturbating while watching.

    DT: Dick Tracy has very small hands.

  125. Marion Delgado
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    If there’s a God in Marvinland, “Flippet” will act the part and flip out. “You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, Marvin?” Night of the Lepus II – Rugrat Payback!

    Alternately, I hope tomorrow Marvin is stuffed with flock while Flippett hops around – a Real Rabbit at last!

  126. Mr. O’Malley
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    FOOB: The pressure of having eight Pattersons living in one house is getting to be too much. The first crack-up has occurred. It must have been getting all that snow in the face a couple of days ago that started it off.

    Unless Deanna starts handing out the meds pretty quick, expect pandemonium to ensue.

  127. Mibbitmaker
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    3/3:

    S-M: “Meanwhile…” …Actually, the narration box just says “While…”. Jameson supplied the “mean”.

    BBailey: Halftracks, meet the Lockhorns. Lockhorns, Halftracks.

    Adam: Oh, shut up! Such a young girl; such an old stereotype.

    Dilbert: She punches everything at that business except the clock! (Rimshot — drumstick crashes to floor by accident)

    JP: Middle panel: Grabbing your own speech balloon is expressly forbidden at this facility, per order Management.

    MW: It’s Lamont Cranston’s fault. “The Shadow has the power to cloud men’s minds!”

    Preteena: Now that‘s a good “groaner” pun!

    Crankshaft: And that isn’t.

  128. Dingo
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    In a just and crueltry-free world, when Michael and Deanna go to meet the owner of the gingerbread house down the street from Shining Cock Station, upon Michael greeting him with “Hi, George.” he should take a firm stance, jut out his hand and remark, “My name is MISTAH Stibbs!”

    By the time this story arc is done, I wouldn’t be surprised if George gives M&D the house for free since they’re such an adorable couple.

  129. A-chan
    March 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 am [Reply]

    I gotta say, I’m looking forward to the day when thieves rob the Morgans blind via whatever crawlspace Abby’s using. I bet then they’ll care about how she got out there to somehow disarm and subdue Elvis, the smug bastards. Why yes, I’m one of those people bitter about the abrupt end of the build-up in Rex Morgan. What, was the author afraid that the dramatic tension would be too much for all those Americans without health insurance? Feh!

  130. Luprand
    March 3rd, 2007 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    46, Trotzenbonnie:

    Hell, I remember when Bugs Nipped the Nips, fer cryin’ out loud. Can’t watch cartoons like that these days thanks to all those candy-assed politically correct liberals out there in Holly-wood, she said with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

    http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/49206679/

  131. Randy S
    March 3rd, 2007 at 5:31 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Luann reveals that TJ is a complete and total asshole.
    Not that this is a surprise, but holy crap.

  132. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: My trains, My trains.. can any grown man have such a one track mind and it isn’t concerned with sex? Or… hm.. well maybe it IS but this being Dad Foob I don’t think so, it’s really about the trains. They aren’t even able to just converse normally, say their feelings about the reality: DAD: I WANT THE DAMN HOUSE FOR MY TRAINS! SON – you OWE ME as you were such a TOOL for SO LONG. BUY MY HOUSE, damn you, and I GET TO MOVE TO THE NICER ONE.

    They are all obsessive compulsive one tracks – so what conversation really do these people have: Dad: “My Trains, My Trains, space for My trains, Me Me My trains,” Michael: “Me, me my 25K advance, my book, me me me,” Liz “whoa is me me me me me (Anthony) me me”, and so on. April has a chance still.

    #13 Poteet: Normally I couldn’t bear to read that material, especially Robin’s, but… god. No. The boy with the girl’s name, confused enough but notice already the genetic make up at work – he’s a train engineer…the damn trains…already Grandpa is at work there influencing…

    Run Dee, Run.

  133. The Avocado Avenger
    March 3rd, 2007 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    #87 dimestore lipstick – I shamefully agree. I think “Floppet” is a cute name, too.

    “Marvin” always reminds me of a time when I was about 12 years old, and had a huge stack of Marvin stickers which I was giving to friends and teachers. The aging hippie social studies teacher took a sticker of Marvin, butt-naked, saying “If it feels good, over do it!” and stuck it to his desk. He couldn’t stop chuckling over how funny it was.

    For the rest of the year, every student in that school was frightened witless by the man with the pedo-sticker on his desk.

  134. Justafoob
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    Don’t ever say trains and sever to John.

    You are talking about the last bit of manhood he has left.

  135. willethompson
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    #86 Remus – Don’t DO that! Here I am trying to make the lyrics sync up with ‘Refugee” and it’s just NOT working and my BRAIN is hurting like the deep-seated ache you get when the jerk next to you in the Vietnamese restaurant is using his cell walkie-talkie to shout “WHERE ARE YOU?” SIX [Margo]ing TIMES to a reply that sounds like someone frying pig fetuses in lava and you take the chopstick and you start whittling the end down with your teeth because you want to STAB HIM IN THE THROAT JUST TO GET HIM TO SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUTUP! and then you read a few lines down that you got the song wrong and anyway, we all found Josh not the other way around and I think I need to switch to decaf.

    Otherwise, nice song.

  136. Calico
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    MW – Sat. – priceless expression, when Mary realizes Ella has put either Polonium 210 or D-Con in her cup. Argh.

    MT – the ubiquiducks are back!

    RM – answer – two words: Dog Door.

    FOOB: I think that…ah, forget it.

  137. Jym Dyer
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    =13= Foob (Poteet): Not so masochistic for me, just a generic bland baby. For masochism I read about the adult foobs and their dull, misspent, Kafkaesque lives.

    =26= Dick Tracy (Saxman): When we actually landed on the moon, Chester Gould cut way back on the moon stories. Then when he retired, his successors “retconned” everything by killing off Moon Maid and having the Moon People sever diplomatic relations.

    =30= (Lettuce) In one of the Far Side books, Gary Larson showed what happened when his captions got switched with those of Dennis the Menace. With sexy results!

    =43= Curtis (Remus): That explains everything!

    =51= H+J (Chromium): We do have dollar coins in this country. Inexplicably, there’s a new one out which is being protested for not having “In God We Trust” inscribed on it, despite the fact that it does, in fact, have “In God We Trust” inscribed on it. On the other hand, some of them will have Nixon on them.

    =66= (Old Fogeyette): Is your coffee really worth all the attention? I know mine is …

    =69= Peanuts (Squid Countess): Is this clear enough for you?

    =106= Steve Canyon (Poteet): Kissin’ cousins? I’m shocked, SHOCKED!

    =132= Foob (Lynngineering): Yes, April is the only decent one left. Presumably the next few months will be devoted to making her insufferable.

  138. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    #132 Jym Dyer – But April has that renegade blog-life, which may still protect her, or drive her into schizoid states, which is probably what it takes to survive Foobland in the future, where 4evah is forever, in a frozen state of being.

  139. dreadedcandiru2
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Foob – This is a prime example of why you should NEVER do business with family. You always get emotional baggage getting in the way of rational decision making, resulting in a horrible mess. Deanna should’ve just put a down payment on a place while Michael was racing around yelling ‘My book got published’ to everyone in Southern Ontario and presented the dope with a fait accompli. He may have been ticked at first, but not having to make a nasty-wasty decision would MORE than made up for it. That way, they could leave and and her creepy father-in-law could continue to go roadside with himself at the thought of the bis-ass lot for his big-ass vandal maget.

  140. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    er – I meant #137 Jim Dyer

  141. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    #139 – dreaded candiru – I guess we all assume Deanna has access to the joint account and check-writing abilities on her own without requiring Michael’s authorial sign on it.

    Could be. So she buys the small house, then turns around and sells it to Dad with a good hefty profit, on threat if he doesn’t buy it, she’s going to divide up the property in FRONT OF HIM and sell that off. Plus she tells him she only gives it to him on condition he gifts Michael his house, making use of the tax laws at work anyway so Michael robs basically Liz and April out of any inheritance.
    Dad scrambles to sell off his dentist office at a loss so he can get his precious trainyard going, not telling Elly that they don’t anymore have the retirement income they were planning on.
    So she will have to get her ass back to work, now as an employee at the gift store she used to be owner in. She goes back, but can’t take working under her old friend, now the owner, and Elly starts to shoplift out of frustration. Eventually one night to cover her tracks, she decides to burn the place down.

    Meanwhile Dee and Michael are laughing, over at their new house – the old-Patterson house. Dee’s laugh is a bit more maniacal than Michael’s, but he is so stupid he doesn’t realize why, as Dee has slowly been poisoning his food with the help of April.
    When Michael finally goes Dee inherits and sells the whole thing off, split the proceeds with April and they give a bit kiss-off to the whole neighborhood. On the way out, she goes into the backyard of Ma and Pa Patterson, and relieves herself right on the freight cars.

    Just a thought.

  142. Zorba the Geek
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    FOOB: So buy the extra property that Dee wants to sell, you dipstick, and put your stupid trains on it. Tsk. Why must we do all the thinking for these dim-witted, self-centered characters?

  143. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    A3G Oh yes, Katy, you adorable moppet, you and Ball-Bustin’ Magee know how men who cry and show emotions are: the kind you say to yourself that you want, but when you go off like pack animals to the bathroom, you swear to each other you wouldn’t want a wimp like that in a zillion years.
    Make up your [margo]ing minds.
    RMMD Here’s Rex thinking, “omg, I had a dog that could have aimed for my nuts at any given moment, and to think I used to tease her by pretending to throw a stick but didn’t! Did I dodge disaster, or what!”
    June is thinking, “This irresponsible kid is no longer a bargain. Send him back to the pound, or wherever I got him.”
    Niki is thinking, “Why do I look like George Takei?”
    MW So, in other words, Ella, you’re just saying, “I guess right once in a while”?
    FBoFW oh damn damn DAMN! Why do every flippin’ one of the Pattersons only think about how a situation affects only HIM or HER? If you want a yard for your freakish train set, John, just buy the [margo]ing thing yourself! You know you’re going to give your current house to the clusterfoobs anyway.
    I foresee the Pattersons staging an intervention for April, the only one of them who is not solely interested in herself. “You…are one of USsssss!”
    erugh! Creepy squared.

  144. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Luann Not that I would have a jerkwad like TJ for a friend in the first place, but if anyone I knew did that to my place, under the conditions Brad had to address to get there, then I would have two words to say:
    Justifiable Homicide.
    Easy enough for you to bust open a perfectly good wall, TJ, you [margo]ing foobstank, now let’s see how good your blood will look splattered all over the nice new black walls. Hey, you’re right! That does look cool! And your gray matter matches the drapes, really keen!
    No, nobody will miss you either, TJ.
    DtM Now that’s what I expect to see out of a menacer, boy.
    Margaret: just because they show up does not mean you have to let them in. You have just enough time to nail all the windows shut, too.
    SFox Pal, if I wanted to draw a moose wearing a shirt, tie, and boxer shorts, I will come straight to your door. Until then, start me out easier, like how to draw a curved line. Your first example was more than I want to try to tackle today.

  145. Old Fogeyette
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    #99 Fizzy Logic and also Poteet–thanks for the good wishes while I slumbered. My poor Google is no better. He will not eat or drink, though he does use the litter tray. It doesn’t look good.

    #132 Lynngineering, I hope you haven’t withdrawn your coma theory. Really, that’s all that is keeping me going. Otherwise I would have to STOP READING Foob and then I wouldn’t know how it ends. HAHAHAHAHA!

    #137 Jim Dyer–Yes! My coffee is of ultimate importance. It’s the only thing I can still enjoy. I don’t do alcohol or sugar, but I’m clearly a person who needs drugs to function. (Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs.) Plus coffee is delicious.
    And I haven’t had any yet today. Hope to remedy that soon.

    As for the comics today, I’ve read most of them with no caffeine.

    CROSSOVER ALERT! I don’t know how to link, but today’s Brewster Rockit features a cameo by Get Fuzzy’s Rob’s dad as a space tourist in panel two!

    I’d better wait for coffee before more posting, except to note that MT is absolutely hilarious today. I mean, it actually made me LOL. “Dan fell in the water!” “Oh no!” “Luckily he can swim! He’ll climb back into the boat!” “He’s not climbing into the boat!” I mean, they just stand there at the window, carrying on an inane conversation, when it would probably take less than thirty seconds to go down to the lake anyway, which Mark was just about to do to tell Dan it was breakfast time. And the expressions on their faces–or rather lack of expressions–are priceless. And by the way, did anybody else notice that the ginormous ubiquiduck is dribbling the Jackel ball? Awesome!

  146. Coffeeclash
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    A3G – I love the look onn Margo’s face when Katy says, “You know how men are.” If Margo had any Margoing clue how men were, this would be a far more interesting strip.

    MW – Ella says to Mary, “Peole get into muddles sometimes!” Can’t these people spell?? It’s meddles, you old buddy!!!

  147. Calico
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    #141 – made my morning!

    Re: pornstaches, I think Elly is wearing one on the FOOB index page. God, that is a twisted rendition of the queen of flap.

  148. Calico
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    #146 – 10-4, good biddy!

  149. ohyes
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    123 – Tribolite – I think that’s Tom of Finland giving a critique visit, and he’s telling the student, “But … your pony’s not hung like a horse!”

    Alternative theory, that’s a drawing of a naked blonde with a pert boobie, visible only to teenage boys and me.

  150. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    In my mind, FBoFW jumped the shark when Elly started flapping, AND had her big Muppet-like mouth dropped open, AND had her hair in its iron-clad unbecoming bun, AND waggled her arm waddles all over creation, AND stuck her tongue out like a gigged Kermit.

    It burned a hole in my retina. Down here when women get “the timely steams” they wave one of those little hand-held popsickle stick handle church fans and decla-uh how mighty hot they ah gettin’, Ah’m just so misserble, dahlin’. Somehow it’s charming, not grotesque like Elly.

    But I hate Lynn, and I adore the little lady who fans with her church fan, so it’s all a matter of perspective.

  151. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Some random thoughts on oddities in today’s artwork:

    JP: In the third panel, Abbey looks like she’s younger than Neddy.

    MT: If that’s Mark Trail in the 3rd panel, who’s the guy in the first? ’cause they sure ain’t the same person. Also, it seems clear that the ginormous duck has swooped down and swallowed Dan.

    (DT)GT: Panel 2, “Nothing seems to bother the girls.” Of course not, as they are clearly emotionless androids. Look how the middle one can hold a basketball using nothing but her suction-cup fingertips.

    MW: Well, nothing odd about today’s artwork, but Mary and Ella look as hideous as usual.

  152. ohyes
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    FOOB – I gotta say, I like the drawings of the kids today. And the little girl is learning to do the eye-pop in panel 2, and the open-mouth in panel 4. Soon she’ll be putting it all together and be able to do panel 5 boggles all by herself, just like Granddad or Aunt Lizzie.

  153. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    #145 old fogeyette – nope, haven’t given up on the Michael Coma-Theory, it’s the inevitable! Just look at what’s going on. Michael could be the only bad author for this all.
    But I thought it good to stretch out here a bit in C.C. foobland alternates, before hunkering back down for the long run COMA finale!

  154. ohyes
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp – Something’s gone wrong with the circuitry, and they’re bowling with basketballs.

  155. jules
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    MW: From the look on Mary’s face, Ella has poisoned that tea. (“You thought I forgot about that horrible Glop Casserole, did you? Ha! Have a cup of my Lemon Pledge Tea! Your Higher Truth will not save you now!”)

    Old Fogeyette – love & good wishes to your Google!

  156. One_Radish_Sobs
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Has anyone else noticed that BOTH of little Sarah’s parents have rushed out to the garage to see who is shooting whom while leaving their only child ALONE IN THE HOUSE without even Abbey the Wonder Dog to protect her?
    And that once in the garage, they are looking out the window to see who gets shot next, instead of grabbing Niki and rushing back to the house to cower in a closet until the police give the all-clear?
    Someone should call Child Protective Services.
    (Long time lurker — I can’t believe that I am so concerned about the safety of an imaginary child — I shall now return to the shadows and lurk once more)

  157. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    #156 One Radish Sobs, that’s because it’s little Sarah who’s holding the gun now.

    Dammit, I said I want a brother, and I fuckin’ want him NOW, Daddy!

  158. Gabe
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Dimestore Lipstick: For the record, Floppette was named by a reader of Marvin. They had a “name the bunny” contest years back.

    Why I remember these things, I have no idea. Probably explains why I can’t pass a math class. My brain is full of comic trivia.

  159. Buck Ripsnort
    March 3rd, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Never let it be said that Mark Trail and wife are inconsiderate. They watch Dan apparently drown while sitting indoors, describing the activity, thus saving the artist a GREAT deal of work drawing the action. O look, a duck!

  160. Dennis Jimenez
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    TDIET – Wombo? As in fruit of her wombo? Thank you Mothers Across America – I can’t purge the image of you licking off the placenta.

  161. finrod
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    I don’t know if anyone else reads it, but Tom the Dancing Bug has a parody comic called “It’ll Happen Every Ding-Dong Time.” There’s a few other funny ones as well.

  162. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Is anyone else watching from the back seat, all aquiver as the odometer slowly turns over towards Josh’s 1000th post on the new server? What shall we do to celebrate when it happens?

  163. Francis
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    I’m sure Tom Armstrong knows “like that popular toy” is a ridiculous thing to say but gritted his teeth and wrote it that way because he didn’t want to date his comic with a short-lived cultural reference. No doubt he wants future generations to be able to appreciate the message of his comic just as well as our generation. (That message, of course, is “babies don’t know how to make jokes.”)

  164. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    As I leave post 164 or so, I also note that http://joshreads.com/?p=1 got 3 responses.

  165. Squid Countess
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Boxcar! Anybody hear the answer to last week’s Puzzler on Car Talk? ( A noun, the plural of which has none of the same letters as the singular.) Saturn! My Saturday morning is coffee, Car Talk and comics on the Chron. This morning, it was all ruined by a phone call from work. Margo!

  166. Trotzenbonnie
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    #164 – Stinky Pete
    Three posts. That was like a trip down memory lane for an amnesiac.

    MW – So Ella Byrd is not a psychic? Didn’t she say she was? I tried to go back into the archives to verify but previous strips start at Feb 1. Mary Worth was already at Dr. Jeff’s bedside by then. It’s taken more one whole month to advance that story line. ONE WHOLE MONTH! I want my money back.

    My dog got into some muddles once. She ate a few blades of grass, puked and was just fine.

  167. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    #164 Stinky Pete: In celebration and mind-messing history, shouldn’t everyone go over to joshreads.com/?p=1 and leave comments there?

  168. Trotzenbonnie
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    #165 – Calamari Contessa
    Sorry. Car Talk doesn’t air until 5PM down here in the bayou. You can get the answer on the website Monday. I know it’s not the same…..but you should be able to listen to the show online some time today if you can’t wait. I love Click & Clack too.
    But maybe, if we put our thinking caps on we can fingure it out. Hmmmm.

  169. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    167 Lynng., are you suggestsing that by trying to measure the number of posts we actually affect the number of posts? How quantum mechanical!

  170. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    169 Stinky: My head is hurting actually trying to see if that will affect the outcome of THIS page here! It’s like, Back to the Future…

  171. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Better yet – if we go back to page1, can we foreshadow everything that’s going to happen in FOOB and change that somehow???

  172. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    165 SqC., how about “my” to “our”, “I” to “we” or cheating perhaps a bit, “cow” to “kine” (kine is archaic but still a valid word)?

  173. j
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Family Jerkus – With his arms behind his back like that and an orange, instead of blue, jumpsuit, that cartoon would have a completely different meaning…..

  174. Marc
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

  175. Weasel Boy
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    There ain’t much in the newspaper, including the comics page, that makes me laugh out loud (or LOL, as you hip, on-line kids like to say), but this letter to the L.A. Times Calendar section made me spit out my coffee this morning:

    …I should not have to avoid an opera. There are plenty of places for those who want to indulge prurient interests. Excellent opera is harder to come by, and it should not be ruined by obscene staging. The chorus and orchestra came close to rescuing the evening…But I left feeling slimed. Shame on the L.A. Opera.

    ELIZABETH PATTERSON
    La Canada

  176. Maura
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    #175, I am dying to know what opera it was.

  177. Calico
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    #162-

    PARTY!

  178. Calico
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    #175 – you should invite her to join us right here at CC.
    Me me me me ME ME ME ME meeeeee (Liz tuning up)

  179. Old Fogeyette
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    #175 Weasel Boy, that’s hysterical! I sure would like to know what opera it was and what sort of obscenity was involved.

    As a major opera maven, I’ve seen lots of obscenity in opera, but it usually involved figurative dirt, such as terrible singing or conducting or acting. I once saw a production of La Traviata in which the tenor was about a foot shorter than the soprano. Halfway through act one the heel came off one of his high-heeled boots and he had to hop around for the rest of the scene, pretending that he was hot stuff. The audience booed him for the rest of the evening, presumably for being short, since his singing wasn’t that bad.

    Which makes me think that many of our beloved and behated comics might make great operas. Any ideas, anyone? (The Foobs and the Ring come to mind….)

  180. AirForbes
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t PJ with a mustache look like Anthony Caine?

  181. Johnny
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Are we seeing the beginnings of a Betty-Veronica lesbian-tryst fantasy in today’s “Archie”? I shared Archie’s second-panel sorrow when Dilton came in and interrupted a promising classroom daydream. Would’ve liked to see where the girls’ near-kiss in the thought bubble was going to take us.

  182. albuqwirkymom
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    #132 – haha you said one TRACK mind while talking about teh scary train man.

    *shifty eyes*

    *conspiratorial whisper*

    I think she is really a Lynnion spy…

  183. mnemonica
    March 3rd, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    165 Squid Countess

    On the Car Talk web site, the question is: “There’s a plural word in the English language that shares no letters in common with its singular version. Name both words.” Since it doesn’t specify noun, I’d go with a pronoun — me/us or, as mentioned above, I/we.

    But I don’t know what their answer was, so this doesn’t really help you, does it? Oh well.

  184. reader-who-posts
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Ok, we get it, Katy’s a sympathetic character! Next week, we’ll find out she’s being audited, her dog was run over yesterday, her brother died in a freak waffle accident, and that she has a club foot.

    MT: Good response, Mark, just stand there at the window and see if he can swim. Don’t even consider, you know, saving him!

    Slylock Fox: Most people don’t draw a moose wearing a tie.

    Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: Good idea! Let’s go back to our hunter-gatherer roots to get rid of that pesky obesity and diabetes. Of course, the average life span would be 32, but at least we won’t be sick or fat!

  185. Michelle
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    The creepiness of that ‘stache was enough to push me to leave my first comment.

    Yick. That’s all.

  186. Uncle Lumpy
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    #185 – Welcome, Michelle!

    Lots more creepy ‘staches in Mark Trail and, of course, Foob! Count on Josh for a full range of ‘stache-related entertainment!

  187. taotu
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW- Did this strike anybody else as the moment that John Patterson finally snaps? ‘WHAT ABOUT MY TRAINS!? WHY WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE TRAINS!? I’LL KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL! Then me and my precious trains can be alone…’

  188. Marion Delgado
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Considering PJ brings in more money than the rest of the family put together, I think maybe they’re unconcerned about cat-calls from the Peanut Gallery. Whose idea was it to put a ‘stache on PJ to make him look a little like his fake ID? Billy’s! Who decided PJ should work road stops? Billy! I’m kind of sick of people Monday Morning pimping PJ. Billy takes care of PJ. He loves him like a brother. If he says wear the ‘stache, I say PJ wears the ‘stache.

  189. JR
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    That Marvin reminds me of two things:

    1) Bart on The Simpsons saying “My flying novelty disc!”

    2) those Bedazzler commercials with “Tana from national television”–the only thing worse than a product with a C-list celebrity (at best) endorsement is a product with a C-list celebrity endorsement whose advertisers can’t or won’t take whatever measure it is to actually mention the show (I imagine there are some trademark issues involved here; I could be wrong, however).

  190. Blade Runner
    March 3rd, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    165 – Squid Countess:

    If you listen to the segment from their Car Talk website, Click and Clack say that they found the word in their copy of the Lord of the Rings book. Could it be that the word is stick and the plural is faggot?

  191. Weasel Boy
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    #176 and #179: The opera is Wagner’s “Tannhauser” (umlaut over the second “a”.) Apparently, Ms. Patterson was off put by the “simulated sex in all its detail” and “the nudity,” calling the performance a “perversion.” I so want to party with her.

  192. Mr Whiney-Pants
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    What’s the matter with you people! Allocating space for trains is a serious consideration in finding a place to live.

    Trains are not a hobby as you seem to think. They are a way of life.

  193. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    193 Blade Runner, good one, except both words share a “t”!

  194. stinky pete
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    190 Blade Runner, that is! My 193 was a never-ending loop. Like Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

  195. Erika
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    By the look on Margo’s face, I’m willing to bet she doesn’t date guys who cry…unless she’s the one making them cry out “Yes Mistress Margo!”

  196. Squid Countess
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker -The foreground of Saturday’s JP is definitelyColumbo’s Peter Falk and Mike Connors from Mannix discussing a painting of My Little Pony.

    RE: Car Talk puzzle – #172, #190 – I did know a bundle of sticks is called a faggot, though I didn’t think of that as an answer. I didn’t know about cow/kine. Thanks! I couldn’t think of anything at all, so when I missed the answer it just drove me crazy!

  197. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Foob — The Foobsite asks, in Canadian, “What’s happening with YOUR favourite character this month?” Answer — My favorite character decayed a little more.

    # 123 — Trilobite, that’s a pony? I can’t tell. First I thought it was a nekkid person, then I thought it might be Gollum having a bad hair day.

    # 132 — Lyngineering, I see your point about genetics (shudder). Also disturbing to me is the fact that widdew Wobin likes “his grandfather’s nose.” Why? No, I don’t want to know. And Wobin’s outfit looks extremely uncomfortable around the crotch, but maybe that’s the diaper effect.

    # 133 — Avenger, I think “Floppet” is cute also. And I think it would be a fun nickname for Bucky of GF, as long as I was a good distance away when he found out about it:-).

    # 137 — Never fear, Jym, it was an unrequited crush. (Sigh.)

    # 145 — Fogeyette, I and the fuzzy five are thinking of Google and wishing him well. And you too. And your opera idea is brewing in my brain, especially the potential for interesting Foob deaths.

    # 150 — BWAHAHA! True Fable, that belongs in Elly’s profile on the Foobsite.

    # 156 — One_Radish_Sobs, please do snark again sometime. And I like your name.

  198. Buck Ripsnort
    March 3rd, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Poteet, Widdle Wobin likes his grandfather’s nose because Wobin’s teething, and needs something to sink his ickle widdy teefies into.

  199. Hawkwoman
    March 3rd, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    I emerge from the shadows, 6′ of winged fury, ready to bash some imaginary heads with my mace of rightousness (+1 against FOOBs)
    -139-dreadedcandiru2
    I’m surprised Deanna didn’t think of that herself. After all, Michael took it pretty well when she stopped taking birth control pills and got pregnant after they had agreed to wait awhile to start a family. That was right after she made him have a huge, hideous white wedding even though they were aleady married because she wouldn’t live with him otherwise and, for some fake reason I can’t recall, not living togeather wasn’t an option. Or was she already pregant before the wedding from hell where all she did for weeks at a time was bitch about her mother interfering while pretending that the only reason to have a wedding was to hide the fact that they were already married, and had been for months, from their mothers?* Since Deanna isn’t (horrors!) a feminist or anything awful like that it would be totally in character for her to go and make another life changing decision without consulting her husband for his own good even though he may hate the house and it will put them right next to the parents he may want to get away from. He’ll just whine more than usual, but men are like that.
    Wow. That was therapeutic. I hadn’t realized how much hate toward Deanna and LJ I had built up before I started this. Man, do I hate them. It’s interesting that while trying to present her idea of a a good wife and mother Lynn has instead created a character who’s hated by men and women of all ages, orientations, and political parties. Way to go!
    “Men Are Like That” could be the new title when the strip becomes about Michael and his frozen in awfulness family.
    *I could be wrong about the chronology. I don’t have the strength to face the official FOOB site and look up the old strips today. Please correct me if I have any important details wrong. My hate will still stand.

  200. King Folderol
    March 3rd, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Marvin – Why does Marvin look so serious in Panels 1 +2, and then suddenly so jubilant in Panel 3? Did the infant happy pill Mommy slipped into his formula suddenly kick in?

    H & J – What a long way to go for such a lame joke. And what kind of kid puts together such a comprehensive list? The kind that listens to his guideance counselor, and that makes him a bigger loser than even I was in high school, and thus not worthy of my time.

    P.J. – When the hell did PJ get so tall? And I thought he couldn’t walk yet, let alone stand? What’s next, is he going pen a screenplay and sit in one of those director’s chairs on the set of his new movie?

  201. Red Greenback
    March 3rd, 2007 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    FC: I know the Circus is ripe for fake captions, but I couldn’t pass on this one… *ahem*… “Moustache rides!…50 cents!”

  202. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    #199 Hawkwoman – Let it flow, let the hate ooze out and into the very soil at your feet. You are one of us, one of the many who detest LJ and all her slack-jaw creations.

    I myself have recently refreshened my hate for Deanna, which runs even with the others except April and maybe the cat Shiimsa (Ojibway for ‘freeloader’ because the First Nations didn’t have ‘just like Michael and Liz’ in their vocabulary.)

  203. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Ok it started, NEW-ME posted on Josh’s page 1.

    The future is going to be irrevocably altered…
    Still it looks sort of tempting…Hm.

  204. Red Greenback
    March 3rd, 2007 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    #203 Lynngineering- I can’t access page 1, all I get is casino spam stuff.

  205. Lynngineering
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    #204 Red – wow, maybe that is prophecy…

    but it is here: http://joshreads.com/?p=1

  206. Goose overhead (HS Edition)
    March 3rd, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    stinky pete:

    That ginormous duck, as you so cavalierly put it, is your homeland security tax dollar at work. there will be no Earth First! massacres in Lost Forest today!

    you’re welcome!

    *honk* *burp*

    P.S. citizens, please don’t eat asparagus, garlic, spinach, or artificial sweeteners, if you wouldn’t mind. No special reason.

  207. kippetje2000
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    The thought that Bill Keane ‘s Family Circus freaks are developing puberty hair, upstairs or downstairs, makes me quite nauseous. Perhaps tomorrow we be seeing Dolly with drawn on areola?

  208. Red Greenback
    March 3rd, 2007 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Mmmmm, drawn areola!…gargle,gargle,growrrrr!!!!

  209. Poteet
    March 3rd, 2007 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    # 198 — Thanks, Buck. In that case, I hope Widdle Wobin bites weelly hard.

  210. Tomcat
    March 3rd, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Okay, it’s become perfectly clear now; Brad’s busted, screwed, and evicted. How’s he gonna explain anything to his folks?

  211. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    March 4th, 2007 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    I hate to mention it, but…Josh’s “p=1″ is not the earliest CC post around. Coincidentally, I sent him an e-mail about this oddity the other day. I think the earliest (by calendar) entry I could find is actually “p=4″ or maybe 5. By chronology, “p=1″ slots somewhere in the 90s. I think it had to do with his changeover to the current site – back when this was the place where Josh read the comics so we didn’t have to. Except that we do, because of Josh. Seriously: I wonder if comics creators recognize the extent to which our not-all-that-small numbers have affected their readership?

  212. BCDean
    March 6th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Well nuts, Elvis didn’t shoot any of the Morgans.
    Now it’s up to Skinhead and the Mohican to rub out Abbey and Neddy.

Comments are closed for this post.