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Big city Wambesi

Phantom, 4/27/11

I’ll say this for the Phantom: Whatever its questionable history of depictions of Africans decades ago (a little digging will find you some howlers), the current version of the strip makes a reasonable attempt to accurately depict a post-colonial African state. Today’s strips neatly encapsulates the tension between the multiple sources of identity that can compete for the loyalty of citizens of such nations. Most residents of Bangalla probably aren’t more than a generation or two removed from their ancestral villages, where ties of clan and tribe are paramount; yet many of the young have moved to the modern capital of Mawitaan, where they’ve mingled with people from other parts of their country, and have perhaps begun to see themselves more as citizens of Bangalla than anything else. Which I imagine might cause problems for this whole Chatu-wrangling thing. “Wait, you want us to come home and do what now? Uh, yeah, see, we have this nice construction gig thing going here … cool shared apartment down on the lower East side, near some decent Bandar restaurants … why are you guys running a prison anyway? Don’t we pay taxes to the Bangallan government to run a prison system? Oh yeah, that’s right, you don’t participate in the whole monetary economy thing. Well, anyway, I think we’re going to stick around in the city for a while, but thanks for asking! Say hi to Grandpa for us!”

Herb and Jamaal, 4/27/11

Oh, that wacky Herb and Jamaal, unable to bring itself to use such specific terms as “GI Joe” or “soldier”! But this zaniness masks the important issue here: If the information I’m getting from Funky Winkerbean is correct, Herb’s GI Dude will be suffering from PTSD after years left abandoned in that box.

Family Circus, 4/27/11

“Just like all the messages we send to Mommy on Twitter begging her to love us! They never work either.”

257 responses to “Big city Wambesi”

  1. nescio
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    FC: The bird mommy is like Thel, ignoring her twits.

    FW: Res ipse loquitur. What else can we add to this? Oh, cancer.

    Slylock Fox: Well, everyone knows who I hope the lump in the snake is. (see my runner up COTW.) Why are carnivores lined up for fruit? Where did the miniature elephant come from? Did Count Weirdly actually complete some experiments?

    Zits: Walt looks like he realizes it’s gotten more difficult to get laid tonight.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    There was some discussion in this blog recently about a comic strip cookbook. Turns out there was a hardcover published by Hobbs, Dorman & Company in 1966 called “The Cartoonist Cookbook”:

    http://www.cookbookjj.dreamhosters.com/store/images//bookimages250/002576.jpg

    Since Mary Worth is on the cover, I assume her recipe for salmon squares is included!

  3. Patrick
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    GI Dude? More like GI Nude, amirite?

  4. Austria
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    BC: I laughed. Hard. BC gets my respect for the day.

    FC: TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER JOKES GOT OLD AS SOON AS THEY STARTED! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

    reFOOB: I’m just now realizing — he looks a lot like the uncle that showed up once in Calvin and Hobbes…

    FW: “And even with all these newfangled technomological whoozey-whatsits, I’m sure we’re incapable of sending pizzas back in time with the customer.”

    Jumble: NICE.

  5. Mayzshon
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    I first read that as “Bi-dude”, and I thought “Wow, Herb and Jamaal are finally coming out!”

  6. Lorne
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Momma Bird isn’t replying to her babies’ Tweets because Momma Bird just fired off a sweet shout-out to @TheRealBigBird and she’s waiting to see if it’s re-tweeted.

  7. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Momma, you’re doing it all wrong. You need to take lessons on proper plopping… and who better to teach you than Condorito?

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_x8X54NKfTBA/SbfUNQsSMfI/AAAAAAAACUA/qs93pOZXNMQ/s400/condorito-plop-3.jpg

  8. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    DtM – ‘Unlike the striped shirt and overalls I’m wearing, which went out of style about 1963 or so.’

    GT – Parker’s soon going to learn that making fun of someone’s girlfriend in an environment where there are baseball bats around is not a good idea.

    Luann – Luann and Bernice have the same expression on their face that most of us that read this strip have.

    Pluggers – Ew. Just Ew.

    SfX – This is making my head hurt.

  9. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    B.C./Garfield — My new catch phrase/mating call/battle cry is “Turtles!”

    Drabble/Pluggers — The FADL* would like to have a word with you two!

    Snuffy Smith — I saw this same joke in Andy Capp… about 40 years ago!

    *Feline Anti-Defamation League

  10. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MW: Liza’s not a good nurse because she hasn’t got the patients. Get it? Huh? Patients = patience? Ha! Also because she lets them die while she plays Fruit Ninja.

  11. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Dick – And so is born young Goodwin Plenty. His friends will call him Good’n.

    Hägar – Ha ha. He’s invading a castle in some other country, and Helga appears, having carried the garbage 580 miles to get him to put it outside the door. Is it just my imagination, or did this particular strip run three times a week for a period of over twenty years, starting in the 70s?

    Mary – Liza’s dedication is obvious from the close attention she gives her supervisor while making hand farts in panel one, and the concentration with which she plays the world’s smallest violin in panel two.

  12. S. Stout
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Dolly isn’t making a Twitter joke, just a stupid observation. There are no jokes in Family Circus, only the reoccurring themes of imprisonment, stupidity, and depression.

  13. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    4-27 Weird Sound Effects:

    Drabble — RIP!
    Momma — PLOP!
    Gasoline Alley — ZOOP!
    Fast Track — CLICK x 11
    The Argyle Sweater — WHIRRRRR

    Popeye —

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Popeye

  14. jayjaybear
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Argyle Sweater: Why would cats be watching a movie about Popeye in drag?

  15. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Just take a quick peek to be sure no cat neighbors have crapped in the sandbox where you’ve got Gran’s measuring cup, because she really hates to rinse anything, especially since a little sand in the gullet helps her pullarian digestion.

    Prickly – It’s like Fred Basset, only the punch line is always “Joe Biden.”

    Zits – Jeremy’s mom fantasizes about upgrading to a two-shoe garage.

    @bats :[ (#y259): No it doesn’t.

  16. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    B.C.: Dude, that’s a tortoise. (Precocious Daughter lodged this in my head, now I lodge it in yours. It’s the Circle of Life.)

  17. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#4): FC: TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER IS NOT A PUNCHLINE! TWITTER JOKES GOT OLD AS SOON AS THEY STARTED! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

    Remember, he’s dealing with an audience to whom the concept of ‘fire’ is relatively new. Twitter jokes are kind of out there for them.

  18. Digger
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    GI Dude, now with spearhead arms for more killing action!

  19. seismic-2
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Luann: “So, Mr. F., how did you get a job as a high school teacher when you apparently have absolutely no idea how pronoun declension works?”
    “Whom knows!”

  20. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Will Tommie be the next Gail Martin?

  21. Calico
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#11):
    I hope Helga is reimbursed her .51 cents per mile.

    MT=Spitfire Grill, part deux, sans Ellen Burstyn. I’m just waiting for Marcia Gay Harden to show up and make pancakes.

  22. anansi
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Luann: Mrs. Horner-”Get on with it !” Delta-”Yes, get on with it”
    The audience-”YEAH!! GET ON WITH IT!!!”

    Herb and Jamaal: Mark Hamll said it best.

  23. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#16): Why do I have a feeling it’s a good thing I can’t access YouTube at work?

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Lio & R&R were both d’awwwww to day. (lovely sad octopi, Mr. Tatulli.)

    SB: groinshots, always a laugh riot. @_@

    had more, but lost it due to a reboot, probably not worth recreating.

  25. Jessy
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Yesterday, the other woman in scrubs, who I presume is also a nurse since she is dressed exactly like Liza, had to call the “nurse on duty,” i.e., Liza, to find out what caused the fever. Today, she knows what caused it, possibly through the return of her psychic powers, since Liza has just returned to her duty station and nothing is charted in that hospital. Liza, when asked when she last ckecked on the patient, gives a vague reply.

    Are we to be concerned about the quality of care? Not at all. The “cause for concern” arose while Liza was tweeting/checking email/playing Angry Birds/posting to Cute Overload in the cafeteria. Before she returned to her duty station, the fever had been reduced, the surgical site cleaned and the drain replaced, and the patient’s family reassured. In my experience, it takes an entire day for the labs to come back and the doc to prescribe the antibiotics, and another day for the fever to come down. These people pulled off a medical miracle here!

  26. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#23): You can’t stay at work forever. It’ll get you sooner or later.

  27. But What Do I Know?
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Luann — I don’t want to be the Grammer polizei, but I’m pretty sure it’s “Says who?” The principal really ought to know that. . .

    The Ghost Who Disciplines and Punishes — It’s hard to believe that a tribal society would be willing to spend the resources to have a perfectly healthy young man sit around in a cage in plain sight for what–forty, fifty years? I mean, who’s going to feed him–or his guards?

    A3G — Sure, he’s heard of her song–these guys are starting to sound like con men. . .

    DtM — It looks like Mr. Wilson is the real Menace to Society here. By convincing the boys that loafing through life is an acceptable lifestyle, he’s undermining the future of the country!

  28. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    PBS: The deeper Pastis slips into madness, the more I like him.

    FW: Funny how the same thing doesn’t apply here.

  29. Zaratustra
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Wait, is that a DATE I see in Herb & Jamaal? Now we can finally nail all of their generic references to a specific point in time and space! Mwa-hahahaha! Fear the hammer of context, Ambiguously Belonging-To-Undefined-Sexual-Minority Duo!

  30. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Josh: I thought the Young Wambesi were called home just to build the prison, since ironworking expertise is more of a big-city thing.

    On a side note: Is it wrong that I’ve been walking around the house all morning, pointing at my crotch and shouting, “You CAN’T cage The Python”?

    It’s probably wrong.

  31. Fester Morgenstern
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    That should be “abandoned”, with one N after the O, Josh.

  32. Little Guy
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Ghost Who Loackdowns Bad Guys: So, like, he’s gonna escape in three years or so?

    MW: In a twist worthy of The Twilight Zone, Dawn is confronted by her future self for neglecting her nursing duties.

  33. Little Guy
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    “Loackdowns”?

  34. teenchy
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Jessy (#25): Gotta wonder how Moy et al. will address electronic patient records.

  35. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Love the Phantom skull on the prison door lock. Did he get naming rights as well?

    Of course, if the Phantom’s sitting around on centuries of fabulous loot in the back portions of that cave, presumably the Wambesi have their own stash somewhere. Money, when it’s called for, needn’t be a problem. And there never seems to be a shortage of fierce, Hollywood-clad warriors to stand around and look menacing. The guys we see today are probably just members of the king’s guard, now rotating into a new duty.

    My favorite thing is how royally pissed the Python looks. “A freakin’ open-air cage? Anyone here ever hear of the rainy season? Happens every year? Hello!!?”

  36. McManx
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Phantom — Good prison systems engineering displayed here, with redundant components as a failsafe — twin warrior guards, twin latches on the skull lock, twin steel workers on the cage crew… No wonder Python is so pissed!

    H & J — In this case, “G. I. Dude” stood for Gay Issues Dude. Herb had to keep it in a box until “don’t ask, don’t tell” was repealed.

    Dick Tracy — Gravel Gertie and B. O. Plenty procreating? My acid reflux just kicked in overtime.

    Family Circus — I am hoping this is a raven, an omen of impending doom on the Keene household.

  37. Mibbitmaker
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: I’d slam the door on those tiresome SLAM! jokes, but that would involve slamming a door, so I won’t do it.

    I won’t do it…

    The HELL I won’t!

    SHUT!

    See? didn’t actually “slam” it there.

    Anyway, Brooke is clearly slumming slamming it this week.

  38. Mibbitmaker
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: In short, I shut the door on slamming the door!

    Phantom: The Python: “I’m a tough guy! Grrrr! SEE? I’m a tough guy, you guys! GROWL! See? Tough! ……See? Gr.”

    BC: Like the turkey call in “Jerky Turkey”.

    Crank: Later…. “Why is Ed Crankshaft yelling ‘TOWANDA!’?”

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @jayjaybear (#14): why would anyone be reading Argyle Sweater is the better question.

  40. TheDiva
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    H&J: No worries–just hook GI Dude up with a Pound Puppy, and all his troubles will disappear!

    9CL: I normally get bored with running gags in comics (mostly because some of them have been going on for decades), but I like this one. If the rest of the strip is Fernanda metaphorically slamming doors in the smug faces of the main cast, I take back everything bad I said about this strip.

    C’shaft: What…what’s Cranky doing in panel 2? Unsee! UNSEE!!!

    FW: “Well…okay, say someone is walking down the street, and they text us–”
    “And they’re so distracted they walk out into the street and get hit by a bus, leaving us once more with cold pizza.”
    “Fine, a family is sitting at home, and one of them takes their phone–”
    “Brain tumor!”
    “….I’m starting to remember why I left this fucking town.”

    Luann: If they drag this out all week, this strip is dead to me.

    SM: I just realized how much of this story has consisted of the main characters in various states of unconsciousness. Which may make it the perfect newspaper Spider-Man story.

  41. seismic-2
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    I hope this fenced-in Chatu Preserve will serve as a Python Hunting Amusement Park for wealthy political contributors. Then Kit Walker can run for Governor!

  42. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Do the guards in Boomsby use “Boom” guns or “Blam” guns?

  43. Uncle Lumpy
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#42):

    Boomsby is the maximum-security prison, with the big guns. They use the little ones at Blamsby, Bangalla’s version of “Club Fed.”

  44. Mibbitmaker
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    FW: Masher-uppers! Time to bring out Car Crash Funky again!

    MW: Liza’s look in the last panel: The woman is zonked out of her skull! DRUGGED OUT ON TECHNOLOGY!!!
    (really, Moy, move on already!)

    Popeye: He’s well past a mere “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!”. To quote a rival classic animation studio from Popeye’s (which, in turn, was quoting comedian Jerry Colonna): “Gruesome, isn’t it?”

    S4th:
    “Well, you can see me any time whenever you visit your sister, Sal.”
    “Yeah — not gonna happen.”

  45. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#9), @boojum (#30):

    My other new catch phrase/mating call/battle cry is “You CAN’T cage The Python!”

  46. pugfuggly
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MW:Fun Fact: All the nurses in the Santa Royale Hospital were originally cloned from a boil removed from the buttocks of a miserly blond women back in 1983.

    Also, is Liza planning on taking care of the patient in 20F by crushing his head?

    A3G: Tommie wrote a song about her favourite TV show: the weather report….

    Tonight, we can expect be cloudy periods,
    with a chance of rain,
    If we look to the rest of the week,
    we can expect the same!

    It wil be cool overnight,
    winds from the east,
    stay tuned for national report
    and the photo of the weeeek…..

    FC: Having been forbidden to make use of any technology not specifically ordained by their fundamentalist sect, the Keane children can only speculate as to what the neighbours’ kids mean by the words ‘tweets’, ‘blogs’ or ‘computer’.

  47. The Eric
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Zits: Teenagers have big shoes! HAR DEE FUCKING HAR.

  48. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Zits – It’s good to see Walt back on his couch after his guest appearance in yesterday’s Pluggers

  49. gnome de blog
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#20):
    Gail Martin was the rock and roll Carole King. Tommie will be the Rhythm and Blues Anne Murray.

  50. Yael
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Speaking of the Phantom, I just wanted to point out to you guys the awesome redesign project organized by the very awesome folks at Project: Rooftop – http://www.tencentticker.com/projectrooftop/2011/03/22/heroes-in-need-the-phantom . It’s not an official project in any way, but it nonetheless includes a number of great artists with pretty cool ideas for our stripy-bottomed friend (especially the last one).

    [I also sent the link to Josh, but figured this is a good timing to post it in the comments too, in case it gets lost in all the fan mail. :) ]

  51. Karmyn
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Do Herb and Jamal realize how creepy they are with those little smiles? Just give in already. Kick down the closet door. Everybody knows you’re gay and in love. Just stop being so damn creepy.

  52. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Ah, so that’s why the Wambesi agreed to imprison Chatu. Full employment for their sons when the big city construction business slows down.

    H&J: Wait, Herb has a Wally Winkerbean action figure? Wait again, you can put the words “Winkerbean” and “action” in the same sentence?

    FC: Twitter pun #infinity + 1, not funny. Dolly calling Social Services to report a case of avian parental neglect, funny.

    A3G: If smiley here is actually going to be Tommie’s love interest, he must be that rarest of breeds, the straight musical theatre groupie. Unless he’s going to make love to Tommie’s art, Seth Appleby style.

    Agnes: Hey-ho! Let’s go!

    H&L: Dawg is like a big beanbag chair, except that he’s got a few fleas on him. How nice of Hi and Lois to leave Trixie there while they go away for the weekend.

    MW: Addicted to social networking. Disdainful of anyone who isn’t boinking her or kissing her ass. No job skills. The fact that Giella has drawn Liza as Paris Hilton today has got to mean something.

    FW: Something tells me that “cold as our former customer” is a pretty common phrase in Westview.

    S-M: Future Mrs Morbius is manipulating her fiancee into his old vampire habits, and also drugging visitors for him to feed on, apparently because she’s got some kind of Renfield fetish. It shocks me to say it, but this story has gotten interesting. And not just in contrast to the strip’s nominal hero.

    DtM: Young Mr. Mitchell says that loafing is a spectator sport.

    Momma: Screw the plop. X’es in the eyes are understood to mean death. You’ve raised your daughter to be either cartoon illiterate or sociopathically callous. Would either be a surprise?

    Ziggy: Sorry Wiley Miller, but you have to give up your strip’s title. Ziggy’s way more non sequitur than you could ever be. (Not sure if that’s the intent, but still…)

    GA: Whatever the sins of Gasoline Alley–and they are legion–it’s not excessively nostalgic or reverent about small town life. In other words, everybody’s an asshole.

    SSmith: Give the ladies of Hootin’ Holler credit. They know Benny Hill in drag when they see him.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    FMA cosplay. (nicely done Lust, PG-13.)

    Dennis, take note, THIS is menacing! (Gatling Slingshot!!!)(video)

    The Daily Puppy reminds me, how long has it been since we’ve seen Abby The Wonder Dog? [*]

    kewt corgsqui.

  54. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    AARRGH!!! I still can’t read Judge Parker on the Chron site! (It’s the only strip not working.)

    What did Constance do on that rooftop?!? Did it involve Olympics-Level Jutting? Did it somehow result in the Judge’s death, thus ending the very existence of the strip that bears his name?

    The suspense is… mildly chafing me.

  55. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Yael (#50): I actually favor the second-to-last costume, with the scull cowl and the purple-white contrast.

  56. Ned Ryerson
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Words that have not been spoken in any hospital, anywhere, ever (not even General Hospital or Muppet Hospital): “He developed a fever from a problem with his drainage tube!”

  57. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Yael (#50):

    neat!

  58. pugfuggly
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#56):

    Actually, I think that phrase was used in Naughty Nurses 7, but with a slightly different context…

  59. Chip Whittle
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    6 Chix: “Off to the vet’s, Mimi?” “Nah, just a serial killer. Thanks for asking!”

    Arctic Circle: Say, do you suppose penguins see any brightly-colored bird as naturally exotic and a little daring? Just wondering.

    Funky Winkerbean: What I’m amused by here is how in the third panel Funky has managed to grow ten years older than old man Montoni. Maybe the next Time Jump is leaking.

    Mandrake: “It could’ve dropped in a man…or a BOMB! Oh, if only there were some way to see through water to the bottom of a pool! Wait–wait–what if we try looking? It’s kinda crazy but it just might work!”

    The Pajama Diaries: This one I like. It also matches my experience looking for advice on…well, anything.

  60. Tagged
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    NS: Wiley gives us a rare look into his personal life.

  61. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#46): I figured the song was a metaphor for something…

    “A Chance of Rain”
    Abigail “Tommie” Thompson

    Each morning I rise and look in the mirror,
    The weather report couldn’t be clearer,
    I feel modestly hopeful and mildly pained,
    I’m partly sunny with a chance of rain.

    I go to work and make all my rounds,
    My mouth is a smile, but my eyes are all frowns,
    I succor the sick, then I clean their stains,
    I’m partly sunny with a chance of rain.

    I had a man once, he moved to Colorado,
    If I had dreams to give up, I might have followed,
    I don’t even ski, so at least I won’t sprain,
    I’m partly sunny with a chance of rain.

    BRIDGE:

    There’s a touch of sunshine peeking through my eyes,
    Like the smoggy red sun of a Hoboken sunrise,
    But nobody notices the light shining inside,
    They see me … just me … orange-headed boring old me ….

    I come home every night and walk into my flat,
    Lu Ann looks surprised, Margo calls me fat,
    The toilet’s a mess, so I bathroom again,
    I’m partly sunny with a chance of rain.

  62. Fashion Police
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Dear Messrs. Staton and Curtis:
    Congratulations on the immediate and significant improvement in Dick Tracy. However, your interpretation of Lizz the Policewoman leaves much to be desired. Please go back in the achives to research the real, pre-chief Lizz. She was hard-edged and tough, far from the perky damsel-in-distress type she seems to have become. Thank you for your continued good work.

    Very truly yours,
    Fashion Police

  63. Alan's Addiction
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    I hate to ask the obvious question, but how secure than prison be, exactly, if the guards aren’t using guns or tasers, but spears? What’s next, the Bangalla execution chamber that consists of a chair and a large rock? Unless the spears and guards are ceremonial and the prison really functions as more of a “zoo” than a “prison.” This might make sense given that wild animals seem to be more common than modern, accurate depictions of Africa in “The Phantom,” which would drive people to go see prisoners rather than the common leopard.
    By attempting to be extraordinarily bland and general, today’s “Herb and Jamaal” is oddly specific. What’s the name of your second-favorite action figure, the one made in Taiwan with absolutely no respect for copyright laws, the one your senile great-aunt got for you on your ninth birthday? That’s right, “GI Dude;” better than “Action Man,” but still not nearly as good as “GI Joe.”
    Today’s “Family Circus” is either a subtle message from Jeff Keane begging Olivia Wilde to respond to his frequent Twitter posts; or he’s just making an attempt at a tortured pun after hearing a buzzword at his local coffee shop. I prefer to think it’s the former, because then I can imagine that this strip caused him as much pain to write as it caused me to read.

  64. Ned Ryerson
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#56): Often, when I read Mary Worth, I think of the movie Throw Momma From the Train and the aspiring (but hopeless) writers taking an adult ed class from Billy Crystal. Karen Moy would’ve fit right in that class.

    One character, Mrs. Hazeltine, is writing a novel about the crew of a submarine and she reads a line from her work: “Dive… DIVE” yelled the captain through the thing. So the captain pressed a button, or something, and it dove. And the enemy was foiled again!

  65. jayjaybear
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#54): http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Judge_Parker/

    The Seattle Post-Intelligencer has it working.

  66. gnome de blog
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

  67. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @jayjaybear (#65): Thanks!

    JP: “There’s somebody else up here…over to the right! She appears to be an unconscious redhead lying prone, and she’s being molested by … Willem Dafoe? Uh, you know, Constance, I don’t think I’ll be bringing Katherine to see the ‘real New York’ after all.”

  68. Walker of Dog
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#30): What’s wrong with the tiger cage they’ve already got? It’s Python-tested and Phantom-approved.

  69. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#37): At least it has him more focused on the drawing than on the writing…

  70. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#61): Dude. Show tunes and The Odyssey. Is there a little bottle labeled “Drink Me” that you swig from occasionally? Can I have some?

  71. Walker of Dog
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    FW: Don’t let Tony’s scowl fool you. All this talk about pizza and death is getting him turned on.

    JP: Judge: “There’s somebody else up here… over to the right!”
    Constance: “No, Judge, that’s just my rack. Ha ha, just kidding – although I get that a lot.
    No, that’s some unconscious actress who was drugged by the deranged fiancée of what appears to be one of those human-vampires. Just another day in the real New York. You wanna make out?”

    H&J: All of Herb’s stuff fits into one box, the smiles look like bent nails, and GI Dude’s haircut is not regulation. Cool – I’m halfway done with today’s Six Oddities.

  72. The Ridger
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FC: Something is very wrong with those nestlings. Generally speaking, nestlings make no noise until mom or dad shows up with food (or just shows up). Carrying on like that all the time is a good way to get eaten by something.

    GF: Something I’ve been wondering… why is the concept of a sequel to an autobiography bothering Rob so much? Peter O’Toole did it. Michael Palin’s doing it. Lots of people with full, rich lives continue to accomplish things after vol I comes out. Granted, the concept of Bucky writing an autobiography in the first place is disturbing, but it seems to be the concept of “a sequel” that’s got him going.

    MT: What the heck? Medals for surviving in bad terrain? Plural medals for just living off the land? Man, the army has changed since I left it…

  73. Calico
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#44):
    Twittering Killed the Nursing Star.

  74. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Luann: It’s probably going to be the Latina winning……or TJ. How many days can fucking Evans drag this shit out??

    Mary Worth(less): In the last panel…..are those two twins, seperated at birth?

    Crank: More stupid bullshit.

    RMMD: If Dexter was smart, he would have put his car keys in his pocket so Mr. Slime-o wouldn’t have found them to borrow his car. But then again, if Dexter was smart to begin with, he wouldn’t have bought all that shit or run his mouth about winning the lottery………before the ticket was even verified.

    Fuck the Stupid Bean: See “Crank” above…

  75. Calico
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#61):
    Somewhere, Alan Jackson and Brad Paisley are seething with jealousy.
    Seriously, nice work!
    I’m pretty sure you know the old joke about country music played backwards… : )

  76. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    At Doonesbury, the delightful serendipity ontinues on to the next generation! So sorry, Zonker. Congratulations, Sam! enjoy the wedding!

    At Pibgorn, Brooke uses the same word twice in a sentence.

  77. Calico
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#74):
    Oh, but now the joke’s on mullethead pornstache and his guy with the “Club.” Maybe Dex isn’t such a doofus after all…

  78. Revenge of Chesnut
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    GI Dude was held in isolation for decades and suffers from violent emotional outbursts and vivid flashbacks? What a hero! He should run for president! (Too soon?)

  79. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#74):

    RMMD: If Dexter was smart, he would have put his car keys in his pocket so Mr. Slime-o wouldn’t have found them to borrow his car. But then again, if Dexter was smart to begin with, he wouldn’t have bought all that shit or run his mouth about winning the lottery………before the ticket was even verified.

    I wonder how many people sleep with their keys in their pockets? Mr. Slime-O is now out of the suite, so Dexter can call out on the landline to the police to alert them to the future break-in (he knows Riley’s not going to stop at $3K when there’s more to be made), and to his sister, “Nya, nya, I’m in a nicer place than you are.”

    Of course, Berna left her phone at home, too, and Dexter doesn’t know Rex’s phone number.

    Tony’s going to find out that Dexter cleaned out the minibar during his stay. Wait until that shows up on the bill!

  80. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#72): Thank you for your nestling comment, which is entirely true. And of course the parent birds don’t usually stand around cogitating, either. When near the nest, they’re usually either bringing food or carrying away fecal sacs.

    In this case, however, I’m wondering if the parent bird really is thinking, perhaps something along this line — “Here I am trapped in FC, a deformed generic alleged songbird with a freakishly large head, just like those hideous children in the window. Wouldn’t it really be kinder to let my children starve, or better yet, just pitch them out of that badly-built-and-sited nest and then fly into a window at full speed myself?”

  81. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “Not!

    Archie – Whatever the kerfuffle behind the sudden switch in Archie visuals, at least Hot Dog looks vaguely like a dog now, and not some guy in a fursuit.

    A&J – So don’t use the so-called “new technology!” The old Internet is still here, dude. Well, at least until Google buys it out.

    BB – Look, Walkers, I know there’s this whole “post-modern ironic detachment” thing going on, but admitting that you suck still does not absolve you of sucking.

    Bizarro – So apparently there is such a thing as a shapely bedsheet ghost, and now I have to go look at something else before that thought runs too far amok in my brain.

    DT – I was hoping to forget that, thank you so very much.

    FW – Tony, Tony, you have to realize that that kind of thing is basically inevitable in Westview. The universe actively seeks to destroy all happiness anyway, so you might as well make a little cash in the process.

    GT – “A little odd?” By Gil Thorp standards she’s practically June Cleaver.

    JP – “Ah, it’s just Morbius and his girlfriend. Don’t mind them, I’m sure Spider-Man will be along any minute to…pff, hahaha, no, I guess I can’t say that with a straight face.”

    Jumble – Okay, most of this was pretty expected, but holy shamoley, LUJBEM FEJF, points for going so far as to do the bookshelf (something I myself only noticed a couple months ago!)

    Love Is… – No, I’m pretty sure this strip was fallen from the get-go.

    Luann – Hey, look at that, Tiffany put on a thingy that actually sort of looks like something you might ever see anybody wearing at a beauty pageant, sort of! Now if she only didn’t have hair that calls to mind Darth Vader’s helmet, the exact same Muppet face and clamshell lips as half the women in this strip, and she wasn’t the Designated Horrible Awful Person You Should Hate Because She Wouldn’t Go Out With Greg Evans, she’d be a lock for the nomination!

    MT – Do they give medals just for surviving in dangerous environments? I mean, okay, it’s ridiculous of me to equate anything in Mark Trail with the real-life armed forces, I’m just kind of curious.

    MW – “Sigh! What a drag!” (…drag Drew off and tie him up!)

    Momma – Alternatively, it could just be that your children loathe you as much as we do.

    Phantom – “So, you really think that cage we installed is gonna hold him?” “Oh, hell no, he’s a superhero-comic villain. Oughta keep him busy for a while, though.” “Eh, good point. No sense breaking the bank on something he’ll inevitably escape from.”

    RMMD – You know, I was going to get all worked up about Dex overhearing them planning to rob him and then going to sleep, but I kinda think everything that can be said on the subject of “Dex is a moron” has already been said. Maybe I’ll just have a giggle at ‘Stachemaster’s old-lady hand.

    Ripley’s – Hey! It’s Kenny from My Cage!

    SM – “Don’t you remember? Our first date?”

  82. Walker of Dog
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    DT: “He has his mother’s looks and his father’s stench. We’re going to throw him in the sewer – wanna come with?”
    – Also, it’s nice to see that the new artist is honoring the strip’s legacy of malformed arms.

    Plug: Don’t expect to see that youngster return anytime soon. (I’m assuming he belongs to a Plugger species that likes to eat cat crap.)

    MW: Angry gestures, a Cleopatra haircut, and a stethoscope? Nurse Sondooti intrigues me.

    Phan: Hey Wambesi guards, that toga-shield-David-Lee-Roth combo is FABULOUS! Now throw some chicken wire around that nasty python, and let’s go clubbing!

  83. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#81): Gosh-darn computer screen renders things too razzin-frazzin small. Kids these days. What did the Jumble books say?

  84. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53): I know you generally prefer your squee on the furry side, but consider these, if you will: http://bit.ly/mE1tex

  85. S. Stout
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#81):

    “and clamshell lips as half the women in this strip”

    Those are Not A Virgin™ lips, consistent throughout the strip’s characters. Evans is a sneaky bastard.

  86. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#68): No, no. I’m assuming that’s the new prison they had built. After all, Phantom went to talk to them about the Shame of Chatu problem before he visited Boomsby.

    Of course, this means he had the Wambesi go to all the trouble and expense of building an expensive one-off prison/aviary/petting zoo before he could know whether The Python would shoot at him (and thus, uh, somehow die?) or not. This plot discrepancy is easily resolved by the Bandar axiom, “Phantom is a dick.”

    In any case, can we please see the blueprints for that prison? An open air steel cage, large enough to have scalable (and, presumably, still growing) trees in it? No visible shelter from the elements? (Dudes! He’s gonna go to the bathroom somewhere. Just sayin’.) It’ll have to have a roof of bars at least, since humans can, you know, climb. And how, with a dirt floor, did they solve the tunneling problem? Were they planning just to have him de-clawed?

    Remind me again why Kit didn’t just shoot the sumbitch.

  87. Mark B
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    As I said prevthread, Liza sees no reason to do much of anything since Drew completed her a few days ago. She’s slowly shutting down.

  88. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#83): As with the bookshelf in the first Toy Story, they have the names of Pixar short films on them (Tin Toy and Knick Knack; I can’t read the third, but I think it might be “Jumble.”) It’s kind of fascinating in the movie, because there’s a number of shorts named there that far post-date Toy Story.

  89. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS — If that kid were human, I might be mildly concerned about his apparently being allowed to play in an uncovered sandbox, being as how there are tiny worms in some animal feces (more in raccoons and dogs than cats, as I recall) that can cause partial blindness if a kid accidentally ingests them. But the kid is actually a puppy, so the odds are good that he finds cat turds to be tasty treats. Don’t be so narrow-minded just because YOU don’t like cats, Chicken Grandma!

  90. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G — It’s becoming more apparent all the time that this story is actually Tommie fast asleep and having a happy dream. It’s kind of a pathetic happy dream, but I hope she’s enjoying it. Go wild, Tommie, and give yourself a decent hairstyle!

  91. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Safe Havens: So, Ming’s baby was conceived on a piece of furniture other than a bed? We didn’t need to know that, Holbrook.

  92. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88): Aha! Thank you. I saw the original Toy Story only twice, so I didn’t get to the level of reading the book titles on the bookshelves. But GREAT shout-out in Jumble.

    Now to reverse-engineer the Internet so the drawings show up at more than 72 dpi.

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#84): d’awwwwwww!

    some nice snakelings there.

  94. AhClem
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Phantom – As someone who works in bridge inspection, I have to give credit to the artist for a fairly accurate depiction of the safety harnesses worn by the iron workers in panel 2. However, the best harness in the world won’t do you a damn bit of good without a lanyard attaching it to a fixed point on the structure – something that is conspicuously absent in the image. Maybe BOSHA (Bangalla Occupational Safety & Health Administration) hasn’t gotten that far in writing their rules yet. At least, that’s what I was told by the Ghost-Who-Falls-From-High-Places.

  95. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#91): What Ikea nightstand is sturdy enough to support rannygazoo without collapsing into a pile of grit and sharp puncture-y Phillips screws? I want that nightstand!

  96. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – It took me a little while to pick up on the cat reference, at first I assumed she was afraid a cat would attack her. I would think she’d have more problems with chicken hawks, or that little ol’ cotton pickin’ weasel.

    Fortunately, she keeps her feathers numbered for just such an emergency.

  97. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#85):

    Those are Not A Virgin™ lips, consistent throughout the strip’s characters. Evans is a sneaky bastard.

    Shall we examine this phenomenon further? No, we shall not.

  98. Doctor Handsome
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    I find it unsurprising to learn that Herb played with dolls action figures until he was 18.

  99. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#61): OMFG! Admit it, you’re the Rock and Roll Gail Martin, aren’t you!

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#84): Cute snakies! I love the Baudelaire epigram on your blog too.

  101. Violet
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    As should come as a surprise to exactly no one, Hi and Lois have finally abdicated responsibility altogether and left the dog to raise their baby. I’d say it’s a step up for Trixie. The dog appears to provide her with at least intermittent supervision.

    Wait—the infant can read? Maybe I’ve been too hasty in condemning their parenting technique.

  102. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80): Same thing could be said about Momma.

  103. cheech wizard
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#62): Agreed. And they all have to be chain-smokers, expelling massive, lovingly detailed clouds of smoke out their nostrils like ancient multi-hued dragons, at least on Sundays.

  104. Anansi
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Baby’s Blues- I don’t know what’s sadder, the fact that “The Hamminator” is the best they could come up with or the fact that he could actually be a better superhero then Spiderman!
    ………….Or at least more entertaining!

  105. Liam
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    FC-Actually, Dolly it is “twits” like you.
    MW-This comic is proof that the writers have no concept of how reality operates.

  106. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

  107. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#95): Philips screws? My Ikea stuff is filled with sharp, puncture-y hex head screws, for which they supply a tool, of which I have enough to melt down to make a cage for a well-known evil guy.

  108. cheech wizard
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    Wambesi men were called home from Mawitaan to cage the Python! But so far, no Wambesi women have responded to the call to make him a shirt, or even pick up a few at Macy’s.

  109. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    OK, so the elders called the Wambesi men home from Mawitaan to gird their loins rather than girder buildings, to trade their hardhats for headpieces, and to hammer their gussets and rivets into spears?

  110. Liam
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    MW-Let this be a lesson to you in the medical profession never go on a lunch break.

  111. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Which of the following is “A prison far more secure than Boomsby?”
    a. Invisible mime box
    b. Masking tape-marked walls on the floor
    c. Blowout preventer on the Deepwater Horizon
    d. All of the above

  112. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    How does Boomsby and the do-it-yourself-with-the-help-of-former-villagers-who-are-now-steelworkers Python cage compare to the nicely corporate-branded Gravelines Maximum Security Prison?

  113. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#107): And thus we see that I’ve never actually owned an Ikea thing. I don’t know what holds them together. Wouldn’t it be cheaper if they just used regular screws? Using hex screws means they have to include a tool.

    Weird.

  114. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman, last panel: Man oh man, this would a poster for an excellent porno. Just sayin’.

    Mark Trail: Mr. Thrasher can stay in the mountains indefinitely due to his friends in the 101st airdrop of a carton of MRE’s and a case of Charmin Ultra every month.

    Cow and Boy: Cowtapult for the win!

    NOTE TO FASHION POLICE: Is that girl in “Doonesbury” wearing a fascinator?

  115. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#70): Sure, have some potato-ade!

    @Calico (#75): I was going for more of a Cole Porter-style wry meloncholy, but I can see it becoming a crossover country hit, moreso than “Hey Boy.”

  116. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#108): The Wambesi women have their own priorities. They’re all calculating just how long that one pair of jeans will last, worn every day and subjected to the jungle elements. Won’t be long, now…….

  117. Dennis Jimenez
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    FC – Ah, these Dolly-isms are an enema from the mind – like having your pancakes with ipecac syrup. Speed on Jeff and Bil – speed on….

  118. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#113): Hey, at least the hex-head screws are an ethos…..

  119. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#113): Digressing into the world of cabinetry for a moment, with Phillips head screws, the screwdriver can slip out and peel off the thin veneer of colorful paper that covers most Ikea furniture. The hex head makes that practically impossible. Scratched up cheap furniture does not inspire repeat purchases.

  120. Ned Ryerson
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    At least Herb got a GI Dude and not an Army Pete. Army Pete was made of wood and in the rain he would swell up and split!

  121. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Pooch Cafe: I knew a week ago this was going to happen but the visual is better than my mind could conjure. Stupid mind.

  122. Violet
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    And Dennis the Menace knows a thing or two about going out of style yo.

  123. kkarenb
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – What meds is that chicken lady on, for God’s sake? Her reaction was not the same one I had when I caught my husband cutting burrs out of the dog’s fur with my kitchen shears, and that didn’t even involve poop.
    And since when does a chicken have a bear for a grandchild?

  124. Phred22
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    A question for anyone with an answer: Will Mark Trail ever get a pro hockey player as his villain? Have you seen the facial hair on those guys competing for the Stanley Cup? A lot of them are pretty good with their fists too. Mark might have to do a week’s worth of fighting to beat one of them. Or am I daydreaming?

  125. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Great cartooning is all in the details. Like the “Herb’s Box” carefully noted on Herb’s box.

  126. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    That’s right, Dolly and Jeffy, never re-tweet and never surrender.

  127. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#59): I enjoyed the zombie arm in PJD too.

  128. Katy
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#119): Aha. Phillips-head screwdrivers pop out easily, and hex ones do not. This makes so much sense. Thank you.

    For almost 50 years now, my furniture has been garage-sale odds and ends that I scrape and sand and refinish halfway and then get bored with. But by gosh and golly, it’s *wood.* And if you look at the unfinished half you can figure that out even quicker than if you look at the finished half.

  129. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#13):

    4-27 More Weird Sound Effects:

    Lio — TOONG TOONG
    Big Top — JINGLE JINGLE
    Red & Rover — SQUEAKY x 6
    Zack Hill — WHRRRR WHRRRR

    Close to Home —

    http://www.gocomics.com/closetohome

  130. The Ridger
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#123): And since when does a chicken have a bear for a grandchild? Don’t ask don’t ask don’t ask for the love of all you hold dear don’t ask!

  131. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    PHANTOM — I think it’s time to take this villain down a peg or two and rename him The Garter Snake.

  132. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#123): And since when does a chicken have a bear for a grandchild?

    Shhh. That’s the part of Plugger daughter’s life that we just don’t talk about…

  133. Anonymous
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#4): That uncle never came back again. In an annotated version of C&H, Watterson says he was unsatisfied with the character. Not sure why, exactly.

  134. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#131): Better yet, call him the Garter Belt, as in for purple stockings!

  135. Bitter Scribe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#4): That uncle never made it back to C&H. In an annotated version, Watterson says he was unsatisfied with the character–not well enough defined, or something.

  136. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal — “GI Dude” l@@ks like Gay Bob with a dye job:

    http://www.thisblogrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/gay-bob-doll.jpg

  137. Bitter Scribe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Gaaaah. Apologies for the double post. I just got a new iMac, and this itty-bitty keyboard takes some getting used to (altho it’s great if you have limited desk space).

  138. Greg
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean also teaches us that corpses cool like a pizza pie. Uh… and are equally delicious? (Isn’t necrophilia inevitable for the FW universe?)

  139. Old School Allie Cat
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Gilthorp – Yeah, slick – pretty sure that your friend has no clue who this Joan Baez woman is – and even Alison Krauss is a stretch… but it’s super cute that you care.

    My father had a huge crush on Ms. Baez, and got invited to meet her backstage at a concert. He bought a new jacket for the occasion (remember, in the 60s they still dressed fancy a lot) – and went to shake her hand only to find the price still attached to the sleeve. Needless to say, my mother is not Joan Baez, but my first name is Allison… hmmmm…

  140. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

  141. Peanut Gallery
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): (comic strip cookbook) – Where’s Dagwood Bumstead??

  142. Austria
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#17): So Pluggers then?

  143. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#140):

    Another link to Yogi Bear’s Honey Fried Chicken:

    http://columbiaclosings.com/wordpress/?p=152

    @Peanut Gallery (#141):

    Where’s Dagwood Bumstead??

    Good question!

  144. Calico
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#80):
    “Carrying away fecal sacs”
    I wish Pigeons had learned how to do that too…

  145. littlestevie
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    MW: Hey get off your high horse, Nurse Ratched. You know that people that work are allowed breaks, its kinda a law, especially out here in good ol’ sunny California. If that patient was sooo unstable, then maybe he ought to be in ICU. Was Liza supposed to check his drain line every minute on the minute? Nurses have other patients and they check them on perscribed intervals, and when she went on break, somebody covered for her. I think Liza is an idiot, Dr. Hottie ain’t all that hot, but I think Nurse Ratched is outta line.

  146. Little A and his Crystal Ball That Might Finally Be Right Predicts:
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#40): LUANN: What a Beauty Contest. Call the local papers. Six young girls in a hot dog stand. Next stop: Atlantic City. And of course this will be dragged out. Three more days to go.

  147. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    This lock brought to you by the Ghost-who-endorses-stuff-so-he-doesn’t-have-to-labor-working-high-steel-to-earn-an-above-subsistence-wage-like-former-Wambesi-villagers.

  148. boojum
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann and 9CL: La-la-la-la! (covering ears)

    You can all talk about ‘em if you want to, but you can’t make me look. Say what you will about avoidance and denial – they do work!

  149. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#142): Yep. I always thought that a good Pluggers would be ‘You’re a Plugger if you stick Family Circus comics on your refrigerator with the magnet you got from your last visit to Branson.

  150. LUJBEM FEJF
    April 27th, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#81): Jumble- Good eye! One of my favorite movies of all time!

  151. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#149): What’s the Phantom-verse’s version of Branson?

  152. ArchieNemesis
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    New Jughead is clearly a coffee achiever:

    Old Jughead vs. New Jughead

  153. littlestevie
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    JUMBLE: He was BAKED! Ha ha! that would of been funnier on 4/20 though, oh wait there another word. Never mind.

  154. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#150): I thought for sure the first word of the answer was going to be “whipped.” But yours works, too.

  155. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#152):

    New Jughead is clearly a coffee achiever:

    Old Jughead vs. New Jughead

    Is “Jesus Jughead” the missing link between old and new?

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qFgmPelbHLU/SFC_WGeyDhI/AAAAAAAABEQ/5VpBYg-Wxu8/s400/christian%2Barchies%2Bjughead%2Bsoul%2Bfood.jpg

  156. Voshkod
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Bitter Scribe (#135):

    As I recall, the uncle caused the problem of having to name Calvin’s parents. Watterson didn’t want them to have names, and it didn’t make sense for the uncle to not be calling the parents by name. The parents exist as foils for Calvin, not as fully formed creatures (though Watterson was a hell of a lot better about fleshing out his foils then most modern comic writers are in fleshing out their main characters), so they don’t need an identity beyond that.

    Man, I miss Calvin and Hobbes. Thompson’s Cul de Sac almost fills the void, though. Has Josh ever snarked on Cul de Sac?

  157. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#152): I’m just waiting for the day when people discover they don’t like the ‘New Jughead’, there’s a huge consumer backlash, and Archie, Incorporated changes the name of the old one to ‘Classic Jughead.’

  158. trey le parc
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Wow, the box is labelled “Herb’s stuff”. That’s pretty goddamned graphic for this strip.

    FC: In a pathetic attempt to remain relevant, Dolly mouths a sentence no child would ever utter.

    Phantom: Nothing ever happens in this strip. In a world gone mad, this is stability I understand and appreciate. Carry on, sort of.

  159. UncleJeff
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#111): One of my favorite “guilty pleasure” movies is “Support Your Local Sheriff”.
    James Garner is taking a job as a small town sheriff when he discovers the town jail has no bars or cell doors (they’re still on order).
    So…he dribbles some red paint on floor and when he later throws his first inmate in the jail cell (Bruce Dern), he tells him it’s the blood of the last inmate who thought he could just walk out of the cell without a door.
    Later, the prisoner’s father shows up to post bail and finds his son helping to install the bars in the cell.
    Asked to explain why he’s helping the jailer, Dern says “Got nothin’ else to do.”

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#157):

    Hate to break it to you, but ‘Classic Jughead’ already exists:

    http://cdn1.iofferphoto.com/img3/item/207/157/874/1Obp.jpg

  161. Scott Bot
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

  162. UncleJeff
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    I see all the talk of the “men of Wambesi” has brought out the “African Queen.”

  163. The Ridger
    April 27th, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#159): I’m not sure that anything with James Garner – in his prime, at least – needs to be considered a “guilty” pleasure…

  164. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): Classic Jughead looks like Bitchy Queen Jughead.

  165. Mel aka Mel
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Interesting story on the NPR website about Bill Blackbeard from the San Francisco Academy of Comic Art. Some nice links within the story too.

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2011/04/27/135741186/a-hoarder-for-history-comic-strip-archivist-bill-blackbeard-1926-2011

  166. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): Man, if I saw that Jughead coming out of an alley, day or night, I would run like hell! He looks like he just got out of juvvy and is looking to go right back in!

  167. Fashion Police
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#86):
    We still believe that employing Bandar® Medicine, which as those of you who remember the tale of the Phantom and the Nazi archaeologist will recall, deletes selected memories. It would have been much more cost-effective to have Guran the Witch Doctor re-program Chatu as a trendy Manhattan dress designer (and introduce him to Mr. Seth Appleby), and less messy than shooting him.

  168. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#143): Did someone mention pic-a-nic baskets?

  169. Walker of Dog
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#145): Look at you, with your reality-based information about nurses and hospitals. Meanwhile, EVERYTHING IS ADDICTIVE AND ONLY PLATITUDES AND MEDDLING CAN SAVE US.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#155): I thought it went:
    Old Jughead
    Apocrypha Jughead
    New Jughead

  170. Dood
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    I thought there was Huffing Jughead, Mainlining Jughead, Pill-popping Jughead and Snuffy’s Jughaid.

  171. mfj
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Coincidentally, “Uncaging the Python” was my first starring movie role.

  172. Fashion Police
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#114):
    It appears to be the sort of hat one might wear to the races at Ascot, although unless memory fails us girls Miss Dowling’s age would probably be confined to less rakish headgear. Having never attended a royal wedding, we are uncertain of its appropriateness for such an occasion, but instinct tells us that something more demure would be in order for Westminister Abbey.

    We are unexpectedly pleased that Mr. Harris has the wit to dress suitably for the occasion, although the wig is a trifle ostentatious and his collar would have benefitted from a more liberal application of starch.

  173. Effluvius Erratus
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#167): Are you a terrorist, racketeer, thug, or looter? Do you experience violent mood, fist, and jungle vine swings? Are you prone to commit convoluted acts of piracy or revenge? Do you find yourself continually thwarted by immortal Phantoms, hounded by Ghosts-Who-Walk, or beaten senseless by Men Who Cannot Die, often resulting in skull-shaped lesions? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your witchdoctor about Bandaritol®. Bandaritol® works by activating the mulliganen receptors in your brain, allowing you to forget any traumatic childhood memories of repression at the hands of paterialistic purple-clad white oppresors, which may have led to your antisocial behavior…

  174. Fashion Police
    April 27th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Phred22 (#124):
    Playoff beards are de rigueur for the Stanley Cup competition. We suspect the likes of Rafa Torres or Chris Pronger would be more than Mr. Trail could handle, on his best day.

    We are always intrigued by the sight of former NHL players in suits. They tend to look like mob enforcers.

  175. Pseudo3D
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread snark, with additions!

    9CL: Why didn’t she move closer? His face was right there!

    DT: I just can’t get over how Sam’s dressed like a leprechaun all the time.

    FW: Montoni has a point, actually.

    H&J: How can he smile underneath his mustache? Cree-pay!

    Also, here’s something else bugging me: a few weeks ago, someone made a criticism that comics were “sexophobic”. Yet when a comic strip does try to tackle sexual relations between characters, they all come off as creepy and unnatural. And I’m not just talking about 9CL, this includes the Brad/Toni shenanigans, too!

  176. Fashion Police
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#139):
    We find it surprising that a seventeen-year-old girl would be named after Miss Krauss, who would have been in her early 20s and barely off the regional bluegrass-and-gospel circuit when the child was born.

  177. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#175): A&J is one of the very few strips that even admit that the characters are sexually active. Mostly, it’s all sanitized so as not to rouse the wrath of the bluenoses and bluehairs.

  178. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#177): And Arlo ‘N Janis is also almost completely alone (now that My Cage is gone) in acknowledging it and leaving it out there with just the occasional mention and not getting all “tee-hee, I’m so naughty, tee-hee-hee” about it, which is why it’s basically the only currently-running strip to handle the issue at all palatably.

  179. Black Drazon
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got to admit, connecting Twitter to birds is still more thought than we saw in the days of “iPhone! Hahahahaha.” Since Family Circus is the immortal vampire of newspaper comics, I’m personally not afraid to let it terrorize us for a few more years if it knocks its blasphemous spawn down a few levels on the way.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#164):

    Classic Jughead looks like Bitchy Queen Jughead.

    Every Queen needs a King:

    http://www.mediabistro.com/prnewser/files/original

  181. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

  182. cheech wizard
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    “A pine box is a more secure prison than an iron cage.” – ancient jungle saying that Ghost-Who-Keeps-Fighting-the-Same-Villains can’t seem to get through his thick purple skull.*

    *in the Bandar tongue*

  183. SideshowJon
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

  184. SideshowJon
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Ever wonder why Grandma’s cookies are so gritty and taste like cat urine? I’ve got some bad news for you. Grandma’s a Plugger.

  185. Joe Blevins
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

  186. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#123): Thanks for pointing out that the kid is a bear, rather than a dog. It just occurred to me that I picked up a deer tick last week from a friend’s very friendly dog, and I know deer ticks like to ride on other mammals, so if I were Grandma, I wouldn’t necessarily be in a big hurry to hug that kid after he’d been outside. On the other hand, if I were Grandma, I’d be a chicken, so I’d have to watch out for bird lice and bird mites instead. What a weird strip.

  187. Poteet
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#144): A female rose-breasted grosbeak once dropped a fecal sac on my head, which fortunately was covered with a hat at the time. I like hats.

  188. Jessy
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#34): Ha! Maybe that’s why they don’t chart anything . . . no electronic devices allowed.

  189. littlestevie
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#186): But are the cats that are using the kid’s sandbox as their port-a-potty plugger cats or just plain cats? If its plugger cats, then that just gross.

  190. Jessy
    April 27th, 2011 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#61): @pugfuggly (#46):
    Personally, I am thinking “country sng about the comics.”

    Chance of Rain

    Well, there’s a chance that Dex ain’t guileless,
    And that Mark Trail could maybe smile less,
    And that Mary Worth just loves technology.
    There’s a chance that Wilbur loves his daughter
    In the pristine way a father oughta,
    But there’s not a chance, no not a chance that you’ll love me

    There’s a chance a Plugger’s gonna get rich,
    And my roomie Margo’s not a cold bitch,
    And my old hound dog, Blue Moon, don’t have a flea.
    There’s a chance of rain in the Sahara,
    And it may snow in hell tomorrow,
    But there’s not a chance, not a chance
    That you’ll love me.
    No there’s not a chance, not a single chance
    That you’ll love meeeeeee.

  191. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#174): I’m all for Mark or anyone else punching the beard off Pronger. Dirty player, do not like him one bit.

  192. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#190):

    *sobs like the guys from Hee-Haw at the end of “Where Are You Tonight”*

  193. Aviatrix
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Gary (#292): Seeing as the answer launched the PLVGGERI thread, I’m very glad you asked.

  194. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Alan’s Addiction (#63):

    The prison isn’t very secure. The prisoner still has his belt, and the guards have necklaces and their backs to the prisoner. Even Dexter, Toni and Holly could take the obvious steps of choking the guards and walking out.

  195. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#81):

    RMMD – You know, I was going to get all worked up about Dex overhearing them planning to rob him and then going to sleep

    I think that Dex has been doing the ol’ “pretend to be asleep by fake snoring real loud” for years. That’s how he sneaks out after curfew.

  196. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#195): “Oh no! I gotta hide under the blanket and pretend to be asleep or Berna’ll ground me for a month!

    Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

  197. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#187):

    I had the same thing happen when I wasn’t wearing a hat, in downtown Portland, on my way to work. Fortunately it hit the top of my hair, and not my nicely, newly cleaned dress suit. I miss my gray felt fedora….

  198. Jessy
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

  199. ElkMeadow
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#196):

    She’s a bossy old lady.

  200. Esther Blodgett
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): That’s how I like my Jughead – stoned, surly, and blind.

  201. Hibbleton
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    JP: Is the stranger on the roof the same person who was following Sam and the Judge’s car oh so many months ago? A plot twist that was inexplicably dropped without *resolution. Nah, it’s probably just Jules hiding from his father.

    *If it was resolved and I missed it, sorry.

  202. Aviatrix
    April 27th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#175): Don’t forget Momma. It too tackles the wedding tackle.

  203. Shogun
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    I think what bugs me the most about 9CL is that it CAN be good. It CAN be one of the few strips that’s not cheesy and catered to people one grave in the grave (you know which ones I’m talking about), but then they do ENTIRE arcs with just the SAME %%$#%$#%#$((%$%@ joke every day and it’s just so very lame and awful. I mean, sometimes, another fave, Monty does it, but it’s never more then 3, 4 days, never TWO, THREE $#^$#$^#(%#( weeks! Whoever the author is, he/she has to be the LAZIEST person in the world!

  204. KarMann
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#202): Oh, come on, can’t I please forget Momma? Pretty please? With Momma on OH GOD MY BRAIN IT BURNS

  205. Aviatrix
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B (Y284): I keep looking around nervously to see which strip is going to join in next. Perhaps someone’s violated corpse will soon splatter the sidewalk in front of Tommy and Beardy.

    BB If I saw a photo display labelled “Hall of Heroes” in a military context, I’d expect to see two dates under each picture. “Waiting for someone to do something” is the wrong joke here, but I’m not quite sure what the right one is.

    @ZaneTarlo (Y269): I thought you were KIDDING about cold dead body jokes in FW. You couldn’t parody that strip if you tried.

  206. Aviatrix
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    MT: Looking for someone who is living in the woods might just be the most plausible mission Mark has ever undertaken. I hope it’s ridiculously loopy nevertheless.

    MW: My favourite part of this strip is drawing to a close. All the characters are so freakily unrealistic that it takes a while to identify which weird behaviour someone is going to be meddled out of. Is it eating too many sandwiches? Wearing odd hats? The Twitter? Decorating taste disasters? Dating etiquette amongst the syphilitic? For a few weeks it could be anything and then we focus in on the tragic consequences of the flaw-du-jour and it’s all heavy-handed advice until the pool party.

    PBS: The sad part of the day is that Pastis hopes that catchphrase does sweep the nation.

  207. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#202):

    Don’t forget Momma. It too tackles the wedding tackle.

    They all pale in comparision to the Royal Wedding Tackle:

    http://www.viprumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/royal-beer1.jpeg

  208. The Ridger
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    9CL: So there are only two options? Slam a door in your face or talk to you? Seth, baby, join us in the real world. I mean, sure, she chose to slam a nonexistent door, but she could have crossed the street, or cut you dead, or in fact actually killed you. Any one of which would have been acceptable. Particularly the latter. Especially if she’d done it with an automatic weapon or machete that got out of control and took Edda out, too…

  209. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

  210. commodorejohn
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#208): I’d settle for chopping the entire state of New York off of the continent and letting it fall into the ocean if it meant getting rid of the 9CL cast.

  211. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#210): “South America, take it away!!”

    o, wait, that was Florida.

    never mind.

  212. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Archie’s father, Fred Andrews, loved (and left) at least eight women during his hitch in the navy:

    http://cdn2.iofferphoto.com/img3/item/206/887/982/o4ej.jpg

  213. The Ridger
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#212): Man that’s one powerful set of genes!

  214. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 27th, 2011 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#132):

    And since when does a chicken have a bear for a grandchild?
    Shhh. That’s the part of Plugger daughter’s life that we just don’t talk about…

    “You screwed a friend of mine’s pet bear!”

    @commodorejohn (#210): (Looks outside. Yup, still living in New York.)
    Hey…!

  215. greghousesgf
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Archie stole that joke from Peanuts! Charlie Brown even told Snoopy that the raw egg was to make his fur shiny!

  216. Spunde
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I prefer to think the Wambesi* men in panel 2 are working on the cage shown in panel 1.

    *”Garden gnome” in the Bandar tongue.

  217. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Weird Sound Effects (Special Edition):

    Veronica Lodge gets an ass whipping

    http://www.archiefans.com/gallery/d/5613-1/veronicaspanking.jpg

  218. Manny Bothans
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Herb’s G.I. Dude isn’t naked — he’s “out of uniform.” Jamaal knows why.

  219. Josh
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#174): We are always intrigued by the sight of former NHL players in suits. They tend to look like mob enforcers.

    Someone (I think David Letterman?) once pointed out that NHL and NBA coaches, who tend to (a) be former players, (b) wear suits on the sideline, and (c) scowl a lot, always look like a movie villain’s chief henchmen.

    Josh

  220. Vince M
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#181): And I thank you and the gods for not seeing the link of that guy that wasn’t G-rated.

  221. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 27th, 2011 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#207): More than I really needed to know about Wills. Who, by the way, looks less like the child of Charles and Diana than a Conan O’Brien “If they mated” mashup of the two.

  222. Dagger
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    “Hey look, I also found G.I. Dude’s arch-nemesis, SAM! That stood for Snake Acronym Man.”

  223. Pseudo3D
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley – Why is this called Gasoline Alley? Is it The Adventures of Ms. Bug Eyes and Her Fat, Stupid Excuse of A Husband, and their relative, Walt “The Artifact” Wallet?

  224. Anansi
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#217):
    For some reason, I’m not turned on by this picture. Either there’s something wrong with the artist or me. Either way, I’m very scared.

  225. Comcis Fan
    April 27th, 2011 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    FW: Pizza and death – that about sums up this strip. In fact, they could rename it that.

  226. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @Anansi (#224): For some reason, I’m not turned on by this picture.
    I submit that this is because it was drawn by Al Hartley. In the 50s, even the 60s, there was some degree of human appeal in his work. By the time he was Archie’s lead hack AND the chief artist of Spire comics, all that had been simmered out, leaving behind some cartoony mannerisms and absolutely no affect.

    At least that’s my view.

  227. Maggie the Cat
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#195): I think that Dex has been doing the ol’ “pretend to be asleep by fake snoring real loud” for years. That’s how he sneaks out after curfew.

    And just where would Dex go? Back down to the center to work on that 5 piece jigsaw puzzle that stumped him all day? Because besides vegging out watching his Jumbo Tron 19,000, I can only imagine that his other activities include attending some sort of adult day care.

    (And not that there’s anything wrong with adult day care for those with mental handicaps, but it’s pretty much been established among many of us that Dex isn’t totally “with it”.)

  228. Just some guy
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Haha! Happy Memorial Day, from Herb & Jamaal!
    Your deceased loved ones who were killed fighting for this nation, probably aren’t actually dead at all! They’re just missing! Their still-living bodies, lost in a box someplace!
    LOL good one, H&J!

  229. Maggie the Cat
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Just some guy (#228): Haha, that’s some great smart-assery there!

  230. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Anansi (#224), @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226):

    Al Hartley was once well-known for his sexy women… like Leopard Girl:

    http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/l/leopardgirl.htm

  231. Baka Gaijin
    April 27th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#180): Oh yeah, perfect match there.

    @SideshowJon (#184): I didn’t need to know that.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#212): Ha ha! Archie’s dad is a man-slut.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#217): That’s almost as disturbing as Momma yesterday. Not really. It is still a freaky scene. Where’s Rick James?

  232. Anansi
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226), @Rocky Stoneaxe (#230): Apparently, he became a born again Christian in 1967. Coincidence?

  233. Pseudo3D
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    H&J – Is it just me, or does GI Dude look a lot like a miniature version of Herb?

  234. ElkMeadow
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#230):

    I used to look like Leopard Girl. Wore different clothes, different hairstyle, less make-up, but otherwise, I looked the same. Never could swing around on a rope, though.

  235. ElkMeadow
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    At Rex Morgan, Dexter fails to understand how to unlock a door from inside.
    Yeah, there’s a window in the bathroom, but what floor are you one? Isn’t there a land line phone in the suite to call room service?

    And at Mary Worth, Drew becomes the next victim of ebil teknology.

  236. Maggie the Cat
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#235): See…. yet another clue that points to Dex’s intellectual and mental capacities. The thought of jumping out of a window comes to mind before using the communications device that is on the nightstand in EVERY HOTEL ROOM IN AMERICA.

    Go ahead, Dex, jump.

  237. Maggie the Cat
    April 28th, 2011 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    MW- Hmm… that’s not the expression one would expect a hot blooded man to display when viewing a naughty nurse pic on his blackboard slate.

  238. KarMann
    April 28th, 2011 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    4/28 A3G: OK, is Shulock onto us, or is this more of the mutual mockery between writer and artist? Of course he looks familiar, he looks just like every other guy in A3G!

  239. Fashion Police
    April 28th, 2011 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#191):
    We heartily agree. However, we have little faith that Mr. Trail is up to the task, considering Mr. Pronger’s penchant for sneak attacks, and that he carries a hockey stick.

  240. Mr. O'Malley
    April 28th, 2011 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#236): I’m not so sure. I think they have him in one of their specially prepared rooms. What normal hotel in the US would be configured so you could lock someone inside a room? (My mother-in-law got locked in a hotel room once, but that was in Italy.) I’m pretty sure it would be a fire code violation.

  241. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 28th, 2011 at 4:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh, sorry, Rick. I was just wondering why you look so familiar. Maybe it’s because you’re IT guy Gary without the glasses. Or Paul Linski without the monster truck rallies. Or Alan without the drugs and bullet holes.

  242. Push Trot
    April 28th, 2011 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    Archie: Careful there, Archie – that’s what happened to Kirk Cameron. I don’t know how Betty and Veronica would react if you started peddling promise rings, and personally I think your relationship is weird enough at it is.

    Phantom: The limerick travelled slowly and through numerous channels before penetrating the deep rain forests of Africa in the early 19th century, and the regional variant ended up difficult, if not impossible for ears accustomed to the Western tradition to recognize.

    SFx: Again with the snitching dog? Yeesh!

  243. Push Trot
    April 28th, 2011 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    Archie: Careful there, Archie – that’s what happened to Kirk Cameron. I don’t know how Betty and Veronica would react if you started peddling promise rings, and personally I think your relationship is weird enough as it is.

    Phantom: The limerick travelled slowly and through numerous channels before penetrating the deep rain forests of Africa in the early 19th century, and the regional variant ended up difficult, if not impossible for ears accustomed to the Western tradition to recognize.

    SFx: Again with the snitching dog? Yeesh!

  244. Filthy Assistant
    April 28th, 2011 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    “GI Dude” is actually pretty amazingly specific for Herb and/or Jamaal. I would have guessed “action figure resembling a heroic person employed by the military”.

  245. John C Fremont
    April 28th, 2011 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    A3G – Ha! Ha! Ha! She wants to know why he looks so familiar! Oh, ho, ho! That’s a good one! That’s rich, I’ll say! Oh, I laughed. I laughed ’till I cried. Oh, goodness.

    MW – Drew, look a little more to your right. And down. At the phone, Drew.

    Phantom – Phantom Went to Boomsby. Lyrics by Tommie Thompson.

    RMMD – Ooh, ick! I see Dex’s belly button!

    DT – No fair! Lizz is wearing clothes now!

    Crankshaft – I’m reminded of Tom Servo’s advice to never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.

  246. gleeb
    April 28th, 2011 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    A 3-G: Since the reason he looks familiar is low-hanging fruit, I’d like to focus on Rick’s distinguishing mark, his tie. It looks like an Old Etonian tie with the strip running the opposite way. Is this the neckwear of someone ejected from that school?

    Blondie: In a stunning allegory, Dagwood represents the governing class, thinking it enough to admit that they run an oppressive national security state, and dejected when the national conscience questions its necessity.

    Dick: Now, will they give us the reveal tomorrow, or draw this out for two weeks? Sure, the first story went snappily along, but as they run out of their stockpiled material, the temptation to pad will grow.

    Up on the Roof: “Why not get closer and see if you can call to her, Judge?” And by the time he realizes it’s a mannequin, bam!

    Guran’s One-Upsmanship: “So much for your written word, White Man! We had a ritual dance in our traditional rhyme and meter ready to go in half the time.”

  247. Earthgirl
    April 28th, 2011 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#167): Yes, but what would happen if one of the Python’s followers tracked him down in his design studio and reminded him of the past? Actually, that would be really interesting, which means it will never happen in the comic pages.

  248. Hibbleton
    April 28th, 2011 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Drew scans the layout with his shaving mirror. If there’s one thing he’s learned in Vietnam, it’s always watch your back.

  249. One-Eyed Wolfdog
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Blondie: “Was that really necessary?” “Absolutely! A cautiously fun, kinda predictable, slightly boring, well-behaved, safe experience is the raison d’être of the modern funny pages! And we don’t want a bunch of rambunctious youngsters screwing things up.”

  250. tb4000
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Curtis: I do like when this strip goes all Twilight-Zoney with its plot twists. But watch there be some crazy realistic explanation for it.

  251. One-Eyed Wolfdog
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Oh, Crock is a rare tour de force, whose
    Crude artistry serves up some coarse views.
    When hard up for laughs
    They decided… giraffes!
    And, uh… fuck it! Bolivian horseshoes!

  252. One-Eyed Wolfdog
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Mutts: “I suggest checking Mark Trail, a couple of strips above us.”

  253. Snowshoecat
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3-G. Ooooh oooh! I know! I know! He looks familiar because he looks exactly like every other blond guy that has ever been in the strip.

    Only the names have been changed to… Um, tell them apart?

  254. Aviatrix
    April 28th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    BC: This week is the bird’s eye for the straight turtle.

  255. Duderino
    April 28th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    MT: Note to Jack Elrod.

    Okay Jack, we’ve got the set up.

    Ben Thrasher comes to mark. Sez that his son John went up into the mountains and hasn’t come back down. MT is gonna go look for him.

    We’ve got it. Seriously Jack, we understand. You don’t need to spend another two weeks setting up this silly story line. Time to cut Trail loose so that he can go up into the mountains and punch out some (poachers/drug runners/bad fishermen) with long sideburns.

  256. Tom moser
    April 28th, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Lessee, Phantom has on his island:a stegosaurus, some Yeti thing, a half naked hot wife and some mostly naked kids. Ah, life in the burbs. Those steelworkers only wish they had it so good.

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