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Mark Trail, 12/6/04

Here’s what they don’t tell you when you decide to marry a taxidermist: you’re going to have perky young women showing up at your door at all hours with four-foot-long dead fish. It’s a good thing Kelly has a suitcase full of pink golf shirts back on the boat, because that one’s going to be pretty pungent.

Meanwhile, while Kelly and Birdie engage in meaningless chatter, the entire seaside community is menaced by TURT-LOR, KING OF THE SEA TURTLES! RUN, GIRLS, RUN!