Mark Trail, 3/5/06
In the Sunday Mark Trails, there’s typically something of a disconnect between the whimsical animal antics art and the all-learning-and-crap dialogue. However, in this wasp-themed installment, the gap is so large it calls for that nuclear bomb of Comics Curmudgeon analysis: What They Say And What They Mean!
|What he says||What he means|
|“There are several types of wasps, and the ones we are probably most familiar with are the social wasps, including the yellow jackets and hornets!”||Wasps, beautiful wasps — with their deadly stings! Soon they will obey my every command!|
|“Scientists work with many creatures to help improve our lives, and wasps play a major role in their studies!”||Yes, go ahead and sting me, my beauties … little do you know that I’ve injected the mind control serum into my own blood! Drink, drink your fill! Each prick brings me closer to absolute power!|
|“Insects live everywhere — on land, in the air, and in water — and they may someday soon be used in security programs and even to detect diseases such as cancer!”||Ahhh, I can feel the buzzing in my own mind now! Your tiny, deadly bodies are an extension of my being! Soon no one will be able to stop me!|
|“For years, scientists have been working with a species of nonstinging wasps to sniff out drugs, bombs, bodies, etc… They say that the wasps are as sensitive to odors as dogs.”||What’s this? A squirrel? Yes, come closer to my minions’ nest, little creature. Don’t be too cautious … cautious like my colleagues at Oxford. They said my theories were dangerous! They called me mad! We’ll see who’s mad now! Come closer, you filthy, wretched tree rat! CLOSER!|
|“Researchers expose hungry wasps to the target odor, then feed them sugar water … After 3 repetitions of sniffing and feeding, the insects associate the odor with feeding. Wasps could be used to locate explosives at airports, land mines, drugs, etc… They could also be used to monitor crops for toxins. Where it takes months to train dogs, it only takes 5 minutes to train wasps. The technology may be ready to use in 3-8 years, and scientists believe many other types of invertebrates can be used to sniff out trouble.”||NOW, MY LOVELIES! STRIKE! KILL! KILL! MUHAHAHAHAHA!|
Ahem. In other news, here’s today’s Daily Rex Morgan, M.D. Gay Innuendo Joke (DRMMDGIJ™):
Not hardly, kid.