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For Better For Worse, 4/25/06

Mark my words: Thérèse’s having humiliated and cuckolded Anthony is only the beginning. My prediction is that, despite the fact that this evil, baby-hating hussy vowed that the nine months little spawn-of-Anthony spent in her womb would be the sum total of the energy she would expend on it, she’s nevertheless going to take the Mustachioed Milquetoast before a bewigged Canadian judge and demand custody. Why? First, she’s a FBOFW villain, and therefore exists to make the sympathetic characters as sympathetic as possible; and second, there is no need for any other reasons.

Meanwhile, if Liz gives up her exciting, fulfilling life in the north and her romances with Paul the ass-grabbing mountie and Fly-Boy Warren to come home, marry the chump, and start popping out babies, then I for one will be very depressed (though not Anthony-level depressed, don’t worry). Mock her First Nations travelogue life if you must, but she’s the one Patterson that escaped the suffocating middle-class suburban life that has Mike in a death-grip, and nothing about Anthony says to me that he’s worth sacrificing a whit for.

Mary Worth, 4/25/06

The only way Kelly could look any more depressed than she does in panel two would be if she actually had a gun barrel in her mouth. “You sat through the same awful dinner as I did last week, and now you want me to spend more time with that force-feeding loon? And you’re the biddy that people come to for advice in this town?”

Apartment 3-G, 4/25/06

Aaaand thus endeth the Tommie storyline.