Metapost: Cinco de Mayo comentarios de la semana
Monday has rolled around again, which means it’s time … for the comment of the week.
“I heartily endorse the mostly naked Rex and June. This was the best strip of the storyline. I don’t need to see the rest of the storyline to know that my statement will remain true forever.” –Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
And the runners-up!
“I hope this means that Marvin killed everyone else in the strip and is going to now starve to death himself.” –Cheeky Wee Monkeys
“Lemme guess: John does new orthodontia on Fridays, but reprints 29-year-old orthodontia the rest of the week, right?” –Mibbitmaker
“Didn’t you get the memo? Each and every comic strip storyline must somehow fulfill the ‘Beauty and the Geek’ straight male fantasy. Say what you will about Cathy, but at least Irving was deep enough to find the inner beauty in a women with an anus for a mouth and no nose.” –insolenttomato
“Ted, oh Ted! Leave Sally and run away with me! I have a convertible and a giant box of Lego!” –TaxiGirl
“As a member of the underrepresented demographic known as ‘female geeks’ and the wife of a geek, I wish I could join in on chiding Luann for not appreciating Gunther and his talents (all of which require skill, artistry, and style) just because he doesn’t get greasy and sweaty doing them. However, every time I look into Gunther’s beady, soulless black eyes, I just want to run away screaming.” –TheDiva
“You’ve done a week’s work in one day! That’s what we in the biz call ‘malpractice.'” –teddytoad
“Constantly broadcasting the fact that the curator of your first show is your boyfriend may not be the best way to establish your bona fides as an artist, even if you don’t get into the fact that he’s a drunken pity hire by a gallery owner who’s dating your publicist/roommate/frenemy.” –SecretMargo
“This pizza magazine cover storyline is dragging on way too long. Can we get back to killing people, please?” –cheech wizard
“Holy cats! I just had a flash of insight! Lu Ann is going to have sex relations with Jack and Alan is going to buy some meth from that beatnik guy and they’re both going to betray each other. There will be a whole big thing where they’re both eaten up by guilt until one of them comes clean. Then there will be another big thing as the other one acts all high and mighty until he or she realizes that their own betrayal was just as bad and comes clean and there will be a big tearful scene. Then they’ll get back together and engage in erotic asphyxiation, which is the only way Alan can have an orgasm. All the signs are there.” –Bryan
“You know you’re a plugger when you take your sponge-bath from a used giant KFC chicken tub.” –Harry Paratestes
“I’m convinced that in the A3G universe, wealth is not measured by how much money you have, but by how motherfucking green it is. That’s why Jones doesn’t have to count the bills to know Alan’s loaded. This is helpful, as Jones must think that math is a huge bummer, right up there with gainful employment and non-absurd facial hair.” –RaJ
“If Sturdivant becomes the Ned Beatty of comicdom the strip should be renamed ‘Vaseline Alley.'” –Stroker Ace
“No, sexual fantasies based on the Ghost-Who-Haunts-Wet-Dreams are a longstanding tradition, but the men had the good sense to keep their damn mouths shut about it.” –The Photocopiest
On whether this plate can be eaten off of: “If you decide to take a chance and use the plate, you might want to test the scratch-resistance of the decoration with a butter knife before putting any food on it, to avoid unsightly mishaps. You might, for example, attempt to scratch Xs over little Jeffy’s eyes, or a pentagram on Billy’s forehead … that way, even if the paint does come off, the artistic integrity of the work won’t be compromised.” –Trilobite
“That For Better Or For Worse enraged me for reasons I cannot begin to vocalize. Ignoring the kid isn’t so bad. Ignoring the kid and making me waste ten panels of my life reading it, that’s unforgivable. Here’s my suggestion for a replacement. Panels one and two: throwaway gag involving Meredith trying to stick a fork in a power outlet. Panel three: Meredith (or whatever her name is): ‘Daddy, will you pay attention to me?’ Panel four: Michael: ‘No. I hate you and wish you were never born. Now let me write my Snape/Bellatrix fanfic in peace.’ Panels five through ten: Meredith quietly sobbing in a corner.” –Plasma
“Oh, of course he should try it. Because, as everyone knows, the biggest concern of drug dealers is the quality of their product. Alan’s going to be the first dope pusher in the city to earn his ISO-9000.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick
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