Post Content

Mark Trail, 5/6/08

Ah, Andy! The best friend a guy like Mark Trail could have! And how are you repaid for your years of faithful service in note-carrying and sex prevention and the like? By being used as bait to lure cynical dognappers into range of Mark’s Fist o’ Justice. The poor dog’s even been kidnapped before, but that doesn’t stop his callous owner from subjecting him to further trauma. Sure, Mark’s “newspaper friends” have been talked into throwing aside their journalistic principles and writing a fake story to perpetrate this sting, but they’re not being asked to put their life on the line. I love that Mark is carefully explaining everything to Andy, as if the dog speaks English and this somehow counts as getting his informed consent for the operation. He might as well just be saying what he’s really thinking, which is “HA HA, THERE ARE MORE ST. BERNARDS AT THE SHELTER WHERE YOU CAME FROM, ANDY!”

Gil Thorp, 5/6/08

That’s right, Andrew, it’s time to “unleash that slider”, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. But just in case you don’t, what I mean is that you should drop your pants and expose your genitals to the batter. Here, I’m using “slider” as a double-entendre: though it’s the legitimate name of a style of pitch, it could also, with some imagination, be thought of as a nickname for a penis. Which I think you should show to the opposite team, which would be shocking and amusing. I hope we’re clear on this.