Metapost: Comments of the week, plus THE GREATEST MARY WORTH-RELATED THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN
This week’s fine comments of the week in a moment, but first, I have something very special to share with you all, courtesy of faithful reader mon-ma-tron, who designed the Aldomania logo and is part of the braintrust behind Raised by Squirrels. She writes:
The husband and I were at FallCon last weekend, in conjunction with visiting some old friends in St. Paul. There was a gallery section at the show, “Celebrating 60 Wonderful Years” of Wonder Woman. Lots of pinup illustrations from famous and not-so-famous comic book artists.
Including one by Joe Giella. His was one of the few in color (most were black and white), and the ONLY ONE not actually OF WONDER WOMAN.
For those of you who don’t know, Joe Giella, who is 80, had a long career as a comic book artist and inker before taking over the duties of drawing Mary Worth. It’s a not uncommon career trajectory, and when I contemplate an artist in his position, I often wonder to myself, “Is his heart really in it?” Well, mon-ma-tron has offered hard evidence that Joe Giella’s heart is very much in it.
So! Let’s move on, as if the world can ever be the same again after seeing that, and enjoy the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“He’s always taking things he’s not supposed to. Like clumps of my hair.” –Joe Blevins
And the runners up! Quite a collection, this week…
“Why is Brad so pissed off? His doughy body is all oiled up like he just rescued a box of terminally ill kittens from a flaming bathhouse on the Lower East Side and he’s holding an ax!” –AeroSquid
“So far the photo shoot in Luann is a little more reserved than I had hoped it would be … Brad’s just grumpy and shirtless. Still, it’s only Monday; hope springs eternal. Maybe by Friday he’ll be naked and really pissed off. Just the way I likes ’em.” –Bribaby
“This whole ragging on an museum exhibition of clocks for two days is just strange. Is Peter Parker some sort of art history purist who objects to the inclusion of decorative arts in museums? He’s probably more disappointed they don’t have an exhibition of televisions.” –steve
“It’s useless to lock Marmaduke out of the house. He’ll just phone for a lock service. Or maybe use the library computers to send for one via the Internet. He’s just that goddamn wacky.” –Muffaroo
“I believe Lu Ann, Tommie, and Ruby are still in the studio. A catfight of epic proportions cannot be far behind. Ruby is going to drop Haley like third-period French.” –boojum
“Pluggers do not move through life. Life does not move through pluggers. Pluggers sit, inert, while confusing and frightening and often nature-violating events occur around their sad man-animal hulks.” –Cranky
“So how did Genesis Corp. hurt Brace’s feelings? ‘We have reviewed your application for Director of Mad Scientists. Although your skills are impressive, we have no available positions for a person of your qualifications because Genesis is a rock band. We wish you success in your continued journey. Sincerely, Phil Collins.'” –Hogenmogen
“The storyline I really want to see now is Alan and Albert Pinkham Ryder ectoplasmically slugging it out over who gets to haunt the studio, before they settle into an after-life Odd Couple arrangement with hijinks.” –lesles
“So the guy has a thing for CLOCKS? Could any affectation be more boring? I say the villain o’ the month here should at least have a name we can have fun with, the snickerability quotient being inversely proportional to the lameness of the villain, a la The Shocker. How bout the Clocksucker? Too subtle?” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz
“Thank heavens that Ian is home. With Mary, all Toby could do was whine on the bench. Now, she has a bosom to cry on. A heaving bosom. A hairy, heaving bosom of arrogance and moral superiority. Scented with Chicago.” –Dingo
“You’re a plugger if you have made no effort whatsoever to keep pace with societal trends and norms, to the extent that you are befuddled and upset by what everyone else correctly regards as the reality of modern life. Oh look, I seem to have inadvertently written a caption for every Pluggers ever.” –Muddtallica
“Comparing Blondie to 1984 is especially apt, as that’s actually the last year a new Blondie strip was written.” –Lithros
“I don’t buy it. ‘I still respect you,’ I mean. Like Ian, or anyone, has ever respected Toby.” –Mac
“Listen up, Herb and Jamaal, if I wanted to see an expressionless round-headed character stare at the reader while thought-ballooning a lame joke awkwardly stretched over two panels with an ellipsis, I already have Garfield.” –Xenocrypt
“Oh brother lady, you don’t know. Sam Driver will keep his shirt on all right. You’d better believe it!” –Saluki
“The good news: A moronic storyline in MW ends! The bad news: A moronic storyline in MW begins.” –Mibbitmaker
“The past few weeks of Judge Parker have been like watching the main character from a 1950s industrial film (‘Vests Are For Everyone’ or ‘The Wonderful World Of Contract Negotiation’ or ‘Understanding Small Dogs’ or whatever) inexplicably starring in a Cinemax After Dark erotic thriller. Nearly every panel is fraught with potential for sexy adventure, but stolid old Sam just sits there in the living room between the hot detective in leather pants and the bikini-clad exotic dancer, wondering what all the fuss is about.” –Trilobite
“Despite the destruction of his jacket, shirt, and quite likely most of the muscle and skin on his forearm, it’s the loss of a perfectly good mustard stain that most upsets Dagwood.” –late2theparty
“So I guess Lisa’s Legacy is that she married a dumbass who waves around a box full of money and then leaves it unattended. My guess is that Funky stole the money as he is planning to use it to buy Les’ teenage daughter.” –Digger
“I can only assume that Maria’s dead, half-eaten lobster will manage to outwit Spider Man before this story arc is complete.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“Dr. Jeff is back ! Yay! I can’t wait to see what humiliating position he will be put in this time. I can’t wait to root for him once again to get some balls and stand up for himself, only to be crushed under Mary’s iron, calcium-deficient fist; walk away defiantly, with his arms crossed, standing up to ‘the biddy,’ only to come crawling back, begging, on his knees, like a dog. It’s going to be so wacky!” –Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
Huge thanks once again to everyone who’s put money in my tip jar! I’ve gotten my thank yous out to everyone who gave during the fundraiser … but some of your addresses bounced back! So if you haven’t heard back from me, that’s why!
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