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Mary Worth, 8/7/09

You know, I’m beginning to suspect that the creators of Mary Worth don’t have a particularly clear idea of what exactly it is a philosophy professor does for a living. Picking an actual professional philosopher essentially at random, one can say that it is unsurprising to find a philosophy prof who’s a beardy fellow and who write papers on things like “Determinism, Laws and Predictability in Principle” and “Metaphor and Theory Change.” In contrast, in my experience philosophers are not particularly prone to standing on stage in a rust-colored suit in front of an enormous sign bearing their own names, arms stretched out to receive adulation of the cheering, clapping masses, who are so eager for the briefest of contact with their idol that security must keep constant vigilance lest they degenerate into an unruly mob. I believe somewhere along the line “philosophers” have been confused with “motivational speakers” or “cult leaders.”

Pluggers, 8/7/09

Two possible explanations for this cartoon:

  1. Pluggers are ignorant solipsists who believe that nothing that happened before they were born could possibly be important or worth knowing about.
  2. Pluggers are almost unfathomably old.

Family Circus, 8/7/09

Ha ha! The vacationing Keanes will leave their campsite reeking of urine!

Marmaduke, 8/7/09

But hey, at least Billy isn’t letting Barfy devour a hapless fast-food cashier.