Post Content

Gil Thorp, 8/18/11

So, just as Kenny helped Molly with her golf swing by filming her so she could see the problems with her technique, so too will he help his mother by showing her detailed footage of her drunken swoons. I like it! Because so far, Kenny’s mom’s alcohol problem has been strictly amateur hour. “See, mom, look at this … you made it all the way to the couch before you passed out, and you even set the wine glass down on the end table before you lost consciousness. If you had fallen just a few steps earlier, you could have spent the night on the carpet surrounded by broken glass; pick a red instead of a white, and you’d even have a permanent stain on the rug for which you’d have to come up with an embarrassingly transparent excuse. And here, in this video, you’re semi-conscious and clinging to the toilet bowl as you puke up all that merlot. If you had some guts, you’d have have just konked out the bathroom floor on your back, upping your chances of choking on your own sick. Are you committed to this drunken lifestyle or not?”

Funky Winkerbean, 8/18/11

Oh my God, I really thought at this little soliloquy, in which over the course of the last few days Les has described the good times he had in this park, like when he took summer strolls with Lisa, but also the bad times, like when Lisa told him she was date-rape-pregnant, or when she found some cancerous lumps, couldn’t get more insulting to Cayla, but then … this happened, holy crap. Les’s smug eyebrow-waggle is definitely the best part, if by “best” you mean “most urgently demanding a punch in the face.”