The helpful homeless
Slylock Fox, 3/26/12
Never let it be said that Slylock only uses his detective services to buttress the prevailing capitalistic power structure! Count Weirdly can drive around with his sinister magnet and cheerful octopus sidekick all day, wrenching valuable steel and iron out of the skyscrapers where the wealthy gather, cackling all the while. Who cares? The Count himself is a member of the aristocracy, so let’s just let the rich fight it out. But these easily terrified homeless beavers — they must have their feelings soothed, through comforting scientific explanations, so that they know that they were never in any real danger (except for danger from death by exposure, when their two wagons’ worth of cans don’t garner enough to pay for a flophouse for the evening).
Mary Worth, 3/26/12
Speaking of America’s tragic homelessness problem, words cannot express how completely giddy I am at the prospect of a week-long summit between Suddenly Conscience-Having Nola and this magical hobo. Presumably, having been softened up by a drunken tirade of abuse from her latest victim, Nola will learn the true meaning of kindness from this man, who, despite having a beard so filthy and ill-kempt it can only be described as “lumpy,” still takes a moment out of his busy day of shouting at invisible demons and not freezing to death to spare a kind word for a weeping businesslady. Will Nola repay this act of generosity by volunteering down at the soup kitchen, or let him camp out in her sweet office, or perhaps move on with her life a better person and never once spare a thought to any existence this homeless person might have outside of the few moments he spent interacting with her? Yeah, probably the last one.
Apartment 3-G, 3/26/12
Margo being an all-heels all-the-time gal fits in pretty well with her personality and whatever we can glimpse of her cultural milieu through the fog of Eisenhower Era-ish art, but I was still kind of surprised to hear her say it, probably because we almost never get to see her below the solar plexus, so who knows what her shoes look like? Does she even have feet?